Chapter 27 – Unforgivable

"I deserve it."

"You do."

"So do it."

As Padmé struggled with herself, Leia subtly moved her hands which were still held up in surrender. She closed her eyes and probed the safety on the blaster. Her skills in the Force were not attuned enough for her to be able to make such a precise strike, but Leia had no choice but to try.

"Kill me!"

The safety clicked and the weapon was set to stun just before Padmé opened fire. Vader's head jerked back and crashed into the headrest behind him. He was alive, however. Leia had saved him.

"N-no," Padmé stammered to herself. Hands shaking violently, she dropped the blaster and it clattered loudly against the floor. "What have I done?"

Leia wasted no more time and took off running toward Padmé. Caught off guard, she had no time to defend herself when Leia went barreling into her. Both women fell to the ground hard and Leia managed to pin Padmé under her knee. With her free hand, she summoned the discarded blaster and pointed it at Padmé's face.

"Don't move an inch," she growled.

Padmé hadn't seemed to hear her. Her eyes were swimming with tears and her chin was trembling. Nonplussed by her emotion, Leia lessened the pressure she was exerting on her stomach.

Just then, the door to the operating room flew open and in ran Doctor Vezara. "What happened?" she asked. "Did she stun him again?"

Leia's expression hardened. "She tried to kill him."

"I… I did it. I killed him."

"What!?"

"Don't listen to her. He's still alive."

"He's dead. He's gone."

"Shut up!"

Padmé shut her eyes and turned her head away from Leia. Cheek pressed against the floor, she continued to weep in earnest. Unfazed, Leia looked up at Vezara.

"I need you to call security," she told the doctor.

"Are you sure?"

"Do it!"

Intimidated, Vezara hastily departed. Turning back to Padmé, Leia bared her teeth at the woman and tightened her grip on the blaster.

"You only agreed to come with me so you could kill him," she snarled. "You were never going to give him a chance."

Padmé didn't react to the accusation. She was sobbing hysterically and entirely unable to register her surroundings. Determining that she was no longer a threat, Leia lowered the blaster and got back to her feet. She tilted her head as she loomed over Padmé's supine figure.

The assassination attempt had torn her apart. But why? She hadn't reacted that way after she had tried to kill Vader the first time on Bespin. She had been operating as Fett then. Could that explain the difference?

Leia didn't think so. Back then, she hadn't known who Vader was. He had been a faceless monster entirely dissociated from the man she had once loved. The pathetic person lying in this hospital bed wasn't a monster, however. Not even Padmé could have deluded herself into thinking that.

When she had pulled the trigger the first time, she had been trying to kill Vader. But when she had done it this time, she had been trying to kill Anakin. The deed had been immeasurably more difficult for her because after all this time, she still loved him. That was something Leia had doubted until now. It was a horrible irony that Padmé had to try to kill Anakin for Leia to finally believe that she loved him.

The door opened a second time, and Leia spun around to see a contingent of stormtroopers filing into the operating room. Leading the rear was a familiar face.

"Lieutenant Joffe," Leia said, relieved that she wouldn't have to explain herself to the Imperials for a third time.

The lieutenant saluted. "The doctor informed me of your heroics, Ms. Vader," he said, and Leia flinched at this name. "Is that the culprit?" Joffe asked, gesturing to Padmé who was still lying spread-eagled on the ground.

"It is," Leia said hoarsely.

"Very good. Take her away."

Leia wringed her wrists as the stormtroopers stepped forward. Two of them leaned down and picked up Padmé's limp body.

"Did you stun her?" Joffe asked when Padmé's head lolled forward.

"No, she just… um… I don't know."

"No matter," Joffe said and gestured for her to step aside. "We will take her to join the other Rebels in prison."

At this, Padmé's head shot up. "No!" she screamed. "Leia, please!" The stormtroopers attempted to restrain her as she began to flail wildly. "No! Not again! Not again!"

"Stun her!" Joffe commanded.

"No, don't!" Leia exclaimed.

"Leia! Don't send me back there! Please don't! Please!"

The stormtroopers disregarded Leia's objection and stunned Padmé several times in the back. She ceased struggling and her body went limp again.

"Don't worry, Ms. Vader," Joffe said. "We will take care of this. Troopers, take her away!"

Padmé's feet dragged against the ground as the stormtroopers carried her away by the elbows. Leia turned around to watch, her mouth hanging open and her conscience muddled.

Luke was seated in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon with his chin on his chest. He rubbed his forehead wearily with his thumb and index finger. All of a sudden, he had just gotten so tired. He felt as if something bad had happened, but he couldn't identify what.

"How you doin' over there?"

Luke looked up languidly to see that Han had spun around in his pilot's seat. As always, he exhibited an air of impassivity – hands rested behind his head and one leg draped over his opposite thigh – yet Luke could see through the façade. He knew that Han felt horrible about how things had gone with Leia.

"I'm fine," Luke said gruffly. "How long until we get to the rendezvous point?"

Han snorted and Chewbacca chuckled from the copilot's chair. "We're already there, kid."

Luke sat upright at this information. "We are? But when –"

"While you were dozing off, Chewie and I were docking to the command ship," Han told him. His expression turned more serious as he leaned forward in his seat. "Care to tell me what's goin' on with you?"

Luke stood up abruptly. "I told you, I'm fine," he snapped.

Han frowned as he got out of his chair as well. "Leia being pissed at me, I get," he said. "But you too? I just don't get it. What the hell did I do wrong?"

Suddenly, Luke found himself getting angry. He took a step toward Han and pointed a finger in his chest. "You have no idea what you put her through, do you?"

Han raised his hands. "I was a bit of a jerk, I get that –"

"A bit of a jerk? Han, are you for real right now?"

"What?"

Luke was about to unleash a tirade on the unsuspecting smuggler, but he stopped himself just in time. This wasn't Han's fault. He had no idea that Vader was Leia's father, nor would he ever learn that. At least, Luke wouldn't be the one to tell him.

"Just stay away from her, okay?" he demanded. "You'll only make things worse." Luke then spun around and made to leave the cockpit, but Han stopped him by grabbing onto his wrist.

"Luke, I –" Han stopped talking when Luke gave him a glare. Releasing his wrist, Han took a step back. "Just tell me this," he requested. "Do you love her?"

Luke blinked once in surprise. He wasn't quite sure how to respond. The answer was of course yes, but not in the way Han was thinking.

"Fine," Han said when Luke didn't answer. "Be like that." He gestured to Chewbacca and the pair pushed past Luke out of the cockpit.

Luke stood there for a few moments as he stared absently out of the window. He couldn't deny that he had been extremely upset at Han after Leia had told him about the pilot's crass behavior of late. Seeing him for the first time since Hoth, however, Luke could see that there was more to this story than Leia had presented. Han genuinely cared for her, and perhaps he did in fact love her. Luke suspected he just hadn't known how to go about expressing his feelings to her, and so he had resorted to flamboyance as he so often did. Things had gone poorly, and now he was desperately trying to make amends.

Whatever Han did, however, he only seemed to make things worse. He had tried apologizing, but Leia had dismissed him as being disingenuous. He had then tried to be heroic by rescuing her, but that had only caused Leia to hate him for nearly killing her father. Perhaps what Han needed to do was stop trying so hard. Leia cared for Han as well, Luke knew that. She loved him for who he was, not for who he pretended to be. The only problem was that Han spent more time pretending to be someone he wasn't than he did being his actual self.

Could Luke present this advice to Han? Sure, he could. But would he? Probably not. Luke liked Han – once you got past the coarse exterior, he could be an exceptionally loyal friend and a surprisingly considerate person – but that didn't mean he wanted him anywhere near his sister. Perhaps there was still a bit of residual competition between them, but Luke knew there was more to it than mere spite. Leia could do better than Han, he just knew it.

Realizing that he had been staring out the window for a good five minutes, Luke shook his head and turned to leave. Seeing that the main hold was entirely empty, Luke made his way down the hallway and toward the exit. The dingy grey walls turned a miraculous white when he stepped off the Falcon and onto the Rebel command ship. Proceeding down the hallway, he saw the shock troopers were saluting to someone who had come to greet them.

"It's an honor to meet you, ma'am," he heard Cara say.

"And I you, soldier."

Refusing to make eye contact with Han, Luke came to a stop next to him and Chewbacca behind the row of shock troopers. Rising up on his toes, he attempted to see past the soldiers.

"If it isn't Luke Skywalker."

The formation in front of him separated and Luke found himself face to face with a female Togruta. At once he knew who this was.

"Ahsoka," he said.

She arched an eyebrow. "You know me and I know you, yet we have never been acquainted," she said. Smiling wryly, she took a step forward and extended her hand to him.

"Leia told me about you," Luke said as they shook.

"And she told me all about you," Ahsoka said in in turn. With a glint of humor in her eyes, Ahsoka considered him for a moment before glancing over her shoulder toward a brawny older man with a snowy white beard. "What do you think, Rex? Feel a bit like a blast from the past?"

The soldier stroked his chin as he scrutinized Luke's face. "Eh, not really," he said. "Too short."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Luke asked.

"Never you mind," Ahsoka said with a wave of her hand. She then turned her attention back to Cara Dune. "You and your contingent are expected in the situation room," she told her. "Bring Captain Solo and the Wookiee with you."

"Yes, ma'am," Cara said. "Will you be accompanying us?"

"In a minute. Rex and I need to talk with Commander Skywalker first."

"Very well."

Cara saluted and then gestured for her contingent to follow her. Luke could feel Han's eyes on him, but he refused to look at him. Taking the hint, Han shook his head and turned to follow the shock troopers. Once they had taken a turn out of sight, Ahsoka's expression turned more serious.

"You need to tell us what happened on Coruscant," she said in a hushed voice. When Luke glanced at Rex, Ahsoka added: "He knows everything I know. You can trust him."

"Alright," Luke said. "Let's go back to the Falcon."

Luke led the way down the hallway and back into the freighter. Making their way down the curving hallway toward the main hold, Luke realized something.

"Hey, I've got something of yours," he said.

"What do you mean?" Ahsoka asked from behind him.

Reaching the main hold, Luke turned around and unclipped one of the lightsabers from his belt. "Leia said this first belonged to you," he said as he offered the hilt to its creator.

Ahsoka's eyes widened. "Where did you get that?" she asked.

"Vader gave it to Leia to use."

"He gave her a weapon?"

"He was training her."

Ahsoka and Rex shared a look at this. "As a Sith?" Ahsoka asked.

Luke shook his head. "Didn't seem that way," he said. "He was just teaching her the basics, I guess." Ahsoka blinked a few times as she processed this. "Here," Luke said, extending the lightsaber further. "Take it."

Ahsoka shook her head. "I don't think I can take that," she said faintly.

"Why not?"

"I left it behind for a reason."

Luke had no idea what this meant, but he was smart enough not to press further. Realizing that Ahsoka wasn't going to accept the lightsaber, he offered it to Rex instead. "How about you hold on to it, then?" he suggested.

Rex's eyebrows shot upward. "Me?"

"Why not? I have no need of two." With his left hand, Luke patted the other lightsaber dangling from his belt. He felt far more comfortable with that one, anyway. It was designed identically to the one he had used for the past three years, but it did have one unfortunate discrepancy. The blade to this saber was red rather than blue.

Rex hesitated. "Sorry, kid," he said after a moment's consideration. "A weapon like that doesn't belong to a clone."

Luke was about to concede defeat and return the lightsaber to his belt when Ahsoka spoke up. "He held on to this for all these years?" she asked.

Luke scratched his temple. "I guess so."

Ahsoka pondered the lightsaber for a long moment. "You know what? I think I will take it back."

Luke smiled. "I'm glad," he said when Ahsoka took it out of his hands. She inspected the hilt cautiously, her forehead scrunched and her lips pursed. It was as if she feared it might explode any second. Finally, she looked up from the weapon and met his gaze.

"Thank you," she said.

Deciding that no response was required on his part, Luke turned around and paced a few lengths away toward the technical station. "You said you have questions," he said as he stopped to pick up the shabby fighter helmet off the wall. He smiled thinly before turning back to his companions. "Ask away."

"The specifics are immaterial at the moment, but we need to know a few things," Ahsoka said. "First off, where is Fett?"

Luke clenched his jaw. "You mean my mother?" he asked. Once again, Rex and Ahsoka glanced at each other. "She's with Leia," Luke said.

"And where is Leia?"

"With Vader."

"They went willingly? Why?"

"Leia had a plan, but she wouldn't share it with anyone."

"A plan?"

"She seems to think Vader can be turned."

Ahsoka and Rex were silent as they each furrowed their brows. "Seems like you were wrong again, Rex," Ahsoka said eventually.

"No need to rub it in," Rex grumbled.

"Wrong about what?" Luke asked.

"Rex here thought that Leia wouldn't give him a chance. I thought she would."

"You say that like it's a good thing."

"It is a good thing."

"You think he deserves a chance?"

"I know he does."

Luke set the helmet aside and crossed his arms. "You know what he's done, don't you?"

"Of course I do."

"So you know he tried to kill my mother."

"I know that's what Padmé says."

A spark of anger flared up within his at the unspoken accusation. "She's not lying!" he exclaimed. "How could you even think that?"

"I know Padmé very well," Ahsoka said. "She lies so often because her life is a lie. She pretends to be Boba Fett rather than her real self."

"Not anymore."

"Oh no?"

"She's done being Fett," Luke said, raising his chin with pride. "She said so herself."

"And you believe her?"

"Implicitly."

Ahsoka considered this response for a moment before smiling. "You know, you're a lot like her," she said.

Luke blushed. "Yeah, she told me that too."

Ahsoka's expression sobered. "There's something else we need to talk about," she said.

"What's that?"

"The disturbance. I presume you felt it."

Luke looked away. He hadn't identified it as a disturbance, per se, but he had certainly felt something when he was in the cockpit. "I think so," he said. "Do you know what it was?"

"I was going to ask you that."

"Why me?"

"The way I see it, the only people who could possible account for a disturbance like this are your father or your sister. You are much more closely bonded to them through the Force than I."

"You think Leia could be behind this?"

"You don't?"

Luke was about to insist that he didn't, but something stopped him. He remembered how furious Leia had been when she tried to stop them from escaping the apartment. He had sensed the darkness within her then, and it had terrified him.

"This presents a danger for us, Luke," Ahsoka said. "If it's Leia, we need to bring her back to the light. If it's Vader, we need to do anything in our power to get Leia away from him."

"You'd be willing to risk everything to rescue her?" Luke asked.

"I'm already about to risk everything," Ahsoka said. "We all are."

"What do you mean?"

"You and I are going back to Imperial Center."

Befuddled, Luke looked at Rex who nodded. "I'm going too," he said.

"I don't understand, why would we do that?"

"The Alliance is on its last legs," Ahsoka told him grimly. "Intel tells us that the Empire had our entire delegation arrested for conspiring to assassinate Vader. The remaining leaders of the Alliance have already decided to send a rescue mission. It's all hands on deck now, so they called me out of hiding for this mission. As the only other Jedi available to us, you're naturally coming along as well."

"But invading Imperial Center would be suicide!"

"We aren't invading. We're sending a detachment of our most elite soldiers. You and me along with Rex and his fellow clones and Dune and her shock troopers. About two dozen operatives in total."

Luke chewed on his lower lip nervously. "I don't know about this," he said.

"Neither do I, but it's the only option we have."

The hallway was bitterly cold. To her left, Lieutenant Joffe was droning on about something while Leia stared blankly ahead at the cell door in front of her.

She hadn't wanted to come here, but after Vader had been taken away for his third and final bacta treatment, Leia had felt obliged to check in on her other parent. She felt horribly conflicted about having thrown Padmé in prison. The sheer panic in her eyes had been tragic for Leia to see. What type of a daughter did such a thing to her mother?

But she had no choice. Padmé had lied to her for the last time. She had claimed to believe in her, but in fact the only reason she had come with her to Imperial Center was to kill Vader. The woman had to be stopped. She had gone completely mad.

"Ms. Vader?"

Leia looked up at Joffe. "Don't call me that," she snapped.

"What name would you prefer?" asked the obsequious lieutenant.

Leia faltered. "You will call me princess, ma'am, or nothing at all," she settled on saying.

"Very well, Princess."

Leia suppressed a shiver as she turned away from Joffe to look back at the cell door. She stared at it for a long while before summoning up her courage.

"Open it, Lieutenant."

"Yes, ma'am."

Joffe stepped forward and activated the control panel on the wall with a swipe of his keycard. Upon pressing a green button, the cell door opened vertically.

"Wait for me here," Leia instructed.

"Yes, ma'am."

She took a step forward. Pausing at the precipice, she peered down into the cell. Three stairs descended into a dark, featureless room. Along the back wall was a bench, but there was no one seated there. As her eyes adjusted, she made out a pitiful figure curled up in the corner of the cell.

"Padmé?" she asked.

No response.

Leia made her way down the stairs and took a few cautious steps toward the unresponsive woman. She swallowed hard, her guilt augmenting with each passing moment.

"Mother."

At this behest, Padmé looked up. Her eyes were glassy and bloodshot while her forehead was covered in little red dots where she had dug her fingernails.

"Leia," she said. Her voice was cold, distant, and monotone. It evinced a woman with nothing left. A woman defeated.

"I wanted to give you a chance to explain yourself," Leia said.

Padmé's lips curled into a sneer. "Why bother?" she asked. "You won't believe a word I say."

Leia winced at the accusation. "I never wanted it to come to this," she said.

"Neither did I," Padmé agreed.

Silence lingered as Leia contemplated her pallid face. "Do you regret it?" she asked finally.

"Regret what?"

"You know what."

Padmé shook her head. "Do I regret loving him? Do I regret marrying him? Do I regret believing in him?" She sighed and closed her eyes. "No," she said. "I don't regret any of it."

"What about trying to kill him? Do you regret that?"

"No."

That wasn't the answer Leia wanted to hear. "How?" she asked. "How can you love him yet still want him dead?"

Padmé's impassivity disintegrated at this question. Face contorting with anguish, she began to claw at her temples. Unable to watch her do this to herself, Leia kneeled down by her side and grabbed her wrists.

"Stop that," she demanded. "You don't need to hurt yourself."

"It's all my fault!" she wailed, voice startlingly loud as it echoed off the cell walls. "I ruined him!"

"Don't say that."

"I could have helped him. I should have helped him! But I lied to myself. I lied and lied and lied." Padmé leaned away from her and pressed her forehead against the wall. Her voice was muted when she continued her soliloquy. "Everything he did, he did for me. He thought he was going to lose me, and that's exactly what happened. He turned into Vader because of me."

"Do you forgive him?"

Padmé turned back to her sharply. "Forgive him?" she repeated. "Of course not. He can never be forgiven. Not after everything he's done. But that doesn't mean I don't still love him."

"Then why did you try to kill him?"

Padmé's chin trembled. "I asked him to come back," she said in a whisper. "I asked him to forgive himself even if I couldn't."

"What are you talking about?"

Tears streamed forth from Padmé's eyes, yet she didn't bother to wipe them away. "He's too afraid," she said, fraught with despair. "He can't bear to face himself. He told me… he told me he'd rather die than become himself again. He'll never take off that mask, Leia. Never. Not for me, not for you, not even for himself."

Leia refused to listen to this. "I don't believe you," she said. "You're lying again!"

"I wish I was. More than anything, I wish I was."

Leia stood up and pointed an accusative finger at her. "You're right! This is your fault! You refused to believe in him!" Padmé didn't try to defend herself and Leia found herself growing even angrier because of this. "I don't need you! I'll bring him back all by myself!"

"You can't bring back someone you never knew."

Leia shook her head vigorously. "I'll show you!" She spun around to depart, but Padmé's feeble voice stopped her.

"Don't leave me," she pleaded.

Fists clenched and face taut, Leia stared at the exit. She could feel Padmé's desperation as if it were her own. It gnawed at her conscience, yet she made herself suppress any sympathy. This woman had tried to kill her father. That was all that mattered. The fact that she was her mother was irrelevant.

"Leia. Please."

A tear escaped Leia's stoic eye. "I'm sorry," she said before marching up the stairs.

The cell door closed behind her with a deafening clang.