Author's Note:
THE RATING HAS CHANGED TO "E" or "M" or whichever For EXPLICIT. You are WARNED.
Side note: About why the character's thoughts might be in the third person,
This is an interesting question that I had not thought of, actually.
Partially it is written so the audience won't misplace whose internal thoughts they are.
Partially it is because I find it entertaining when the character's inner thoughts are in conflict with each other.
And partially because the story is told in a third person sort of omniscient perspective, with each character having their 'time' where the story is in 'their third person limited…'
Which is also occasionally interrupted by narrations.. Really unsure myself, actually.
Answer to a reader question: Do I ever talk with myself in the third person?
(Yes, bobbiejelly does, at times. Actually...)
(Hush, bobbiejelly, that's rather weird to be telling people you know…)
(Well, they ASKED…!)
(Anyways, despite this, bobbiejelly will consider adding more inner thoughts in the first person…)
Thanks for your thoughtful reviews!
Take care and enjoy this chapter.
bobbiejelly
PREVIOUSLY ON "FALLING APART, BARELY BREATHING":
Addison tucks a hair behind Meredith's ear and says "thank-you, sweet dreams, Meredith" before heading off for her shower.
She'll be grateful, very soon, that she hadn't said anything more in-depth than that, like confessed or professed a crush or something more to Meredith Grey like, just now.
She'll be pretty damn relieved once she finds out later that Meredith Grey had actually been awake and just not moving, for that entire exchange, just so she could remember the feeling of Addison Montgomery tucking her into bed for a moment.
END OF FLASHBACK SEQUENCE.
Falling Apart, Barely Breathing
In Which Addison meets Meredith in a bar. Things spiral from there. This is the story about what might have happened after Meredith asks Derek to "Pick Me, Choose Me, Love Me" but before he decides to do anything about it, and after SHE decides to do something about it. MerAdd. Meddison. Set during "Bring the Pain" GA. An Addison Montgomery/Meredith Grey - Grey's Anatomy Fanfiction. Written by me, bobbiejelly
Chapter 29: Sees, Looks, Imagines...
Addison Montgomery sighs as she decides to herself that Meredith Grey has finally fallen asleep, as her breathing is even and her eyes are pressed sleepily shut.
So Addison stands up from the bed, and she tiptoes across the floor to the shower room. Addison begins to undress herself, removing her jewelry, first. Then she removes her shirt, lifting her arms over her head.
She takes off her pants and her bra, relieved that she's finally washing this tired afternoon off of all of her skin. When Addison takes off her panties, she gasps when she realizes they're soaked to the skin, and she smiles privately to herself, remembering Meredith's massage.
Addison turns on the water, waiting for it to reach the ideal temperature as she hangs up her clothes and lays a towel on the bathroom rack beside her. Addison steps in the shower, feeling the spray with her fingers, first.
The water is warm, and it soothes her sore muscles further. Addison sighs contentedly as the spray washes over her face and her neck and her chest. She hums along to a tune she doesn't really know as she washes herself, applying soap and shampoo everywhere.
She cleans herself up, shaving her legs and taking her time washing her hair. She stands in the shower for a while, enjoying the cascade of softness that the warm water envelops her with. Addison feels this is a metaphorical sort of 'baptism' or rebirth from her sins...
But as Addison thinks to herself she has purged all her pain… She realizes she's been watched this whole time. A shadow of a female figure appears at the door. And a familiar voice is calling out to her. "Addison…". It's the soothing tone of the 'lusty intern' that made even Addison's ex-husband who is probably 'gay or something', swoon.
And the figure approaches her with a predatory glance as she steps into the room. Addison glances at the door lock and she realizes she'd forgotten it earlier. But she couldn't care less about that, now, because Meredith Grey is taking all of HER clothes off in front of her.
Meredith is stripping her shirt. She's making a show of unclipping her bra and watching Addison salivate as she lets her luscious breasts spring free from their confines. Addison has never seen the intern without any clothes on before. And now she can see them bouncing…
"I thought you were asleep?" Addison asks her. "Oh, I was. But I woke up when you stroked my hair, tenderly. And I stayed there without moving a muscle so I could feel the weight of your hands over my body even though all the blankets…" Meredith says to her lustfully.
Meredith examines the sight set before her. Addison Forbes Montgomery is naked, really, really naked, and wet. And she's standing in the shower now, facing her, all hot and naked. And she hasn't screamed yet. She hasn't told her at all to get out. She hasn't done any of that.
She won't do any of that, because Addison is tired of denying herself. She's tired of pretending to be straight when she's not. Addison is exhausted from trying not to have sex with Meredith Grey. And she's finally single and Meredith is also single and she's standing there, offering.
"Am I 'in' or 'out'?" Meredith still gives her the option. And it takes less than two seconds for Addison to say 'in'. "Definitely, in," Addison says to her. "I want to see you naked, too." And Meredith complies with her easily, pulling the ribbon tie of her scrub pants and letting them fall to the floor.
She makes a show of taking off her panties and tossing them to the side. And then she walks into the shower with Addison, and she stands there next to her for a moment, taking in the luscious sight to behold.
"You are perfect," Meredith says to Addison without hesitation.
Meredith sees, looks, imagines the possibilities of how she could bring Addison screaming her name to high heavens now that she's all hot and wanting in front of her...
"Thank-you" Addison says to Meredith breathlessly.
She's thanking her in advance for the unspeakable things Meredith will soon do to her...
"Thank goodness you divorced Derek, he's such an idiot for letting you go. But at least leaving him means you've gotten to meet ME. And at least I finally get to have you like this now…"
"What do you have in mind, Meredith?" Addison says to her using her first name, as an equal.
"I have many, many, things in my mind," Meredith says to her lustfully. It's the truth, too.
"And I promise you I can touch you even better than anyone ever has, ever before…"
Meredith whispers these bittersweet nothings into Addison's ear before she dives right on in.
"Addison" Meredith says to her breathlessly as she kisses her earlobe.
"Addison" Meredith says to her as she sucks on her earlobe.
"Addison" Meredith says to her as she allows her teeth to graze the soft flesh of her ears…
Addison starts to moan and to whimper under Meredith's soothing touches.
She brings her hands onto Meredith's waist as she holds on for dear life.
She kisses onto Addison's neck now, latching on with her lips as she sucks the pale skin.
She runs her hands up and down Addison's beautiful body as she soaks it all in.
Meredith takes in Addison's moans as she lunges forward to back Addison into the wall of the shower with a 'THUD"...
***** THUD *****
Meredith hits the floor with a "THUD" as she lunges forward off of the bed and flattens herself all in a heap.
"FUCK!" Meredith exclaims out to no-one now, as she realizes this whole damn thing had just been a dream.
"Fuck" Meredith exclaims, as she looks up to see that the shower door is actually closed and that the last thing she remembers is Addison tucking her in before she closed her eyes…
('And I never even got to feel in my dreams just what Addison's lips would taste like…' Meredith sighs…)
Meredith can hear the water shutting off now, and she thinks that maybe she's going to hell for all of this. But she can't keep herself from staring as the shower door opens.
And she keeps her eyes open just a crack so she can see Addison walk out in a towel, covering all of her private parts and exposing only the tops of her shoulders and her ankles of skin.
And Addison still thinks that Meredith is sleeping, so she makes as little noise as possible before walking out of the room, and shutting the door closed tight behind her.
Meredith releases a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding.
She sighs again, realizing she didn't even think of saying anything to Addison, then.
She's just been so dazed after her dream she didn't even think to say something platonic like "thank you for tucking me in".
(Well, actually, that sounds really hecking gay, now that she thinks about it…)
Either way, though, if Meredith was tired before she's wide awake now.
Meredith can feel the throbbing need between her thighs, and she really needs to release some of the pressure.
Or for sure she's going to jump Addison next time she sees her. For sure, as in, definitely, will actually press her lips to her neck this time and kiss the hell out of her.
That's how desperately horny Meredith Grey is right now. This is definitely a hazard, so Meredith sighs, and decides that she needs to take a shower, anyway so it might as well be now.
Meredith undresses and steps into the shower. The water warms up pretty quickly since Addison had already had it on just a minute ago. Meredith sighs as she washes her hair and her body and shaves her legs and all that.
She runs her hands through her own hair, imagining it was Addison who was doing the same. Meredith closes her eyes now, leaning back against the shower and starts to run her own hands all over her body.
She wonders, idly, if Addison was doing this. Was Addison touching herself…?
The thought of it really turns Meredith on, as she tries to imagine what Addison would look like, like this. Her hands running up over her breasts, pinching her nipples as Meredith is doing now.
She likes to imagine Addison was thinking of her. Thinking of Meredith. Thinking of what Meredith could do if she had actually walked her into the wall of the shower with a bit of a 'thud.'
Meredith imagines she's kissing Addison now, as she runs the tip of her tongue over the pale of her own lips. Meredith imagines it's Addison's hands that are squeezing her breasts. She imagines that Addison will adore them because Addison has never been with a woman before…
Meredith imagines Addison letting her take control. She imagines Addison asking her to touch her all over. As Meredith runs her hands down her waist she imagines Addison doing the same.
Meredith imagines rubbing her hands all over Addison's back, maybe scratching a little. She imagines holding on to her, looking up into her eyes. Asking her if she wants sex…
Meredith imagines Addison saying "yes" as Meredith moves to slide her fingers over her own now wet center, but only for a few seconds so she could take in how wet she already is for her…
Meredith imagines licking the taste off of Addison from her fingers for the first time and she imagines it would be absolutely delicious. As she licks her own fingers, she imagines offering them also to Addison and then kissing her so they could share it between them...
Meredith imagines doing this to Addison and making her close her eyes and grip onto her. Meredith imagines Addison enjoying her touches so much that she's reaching for Meredith to kiss down Meredith's neck and her chest and her breasts.
As Meredith rolls her own nipples under her thumbs she imagines latching her lips onto Addison's breasts. She imagines suckling them for the first time. How those perfect, luscious breasts would feel in her mouth.
Meredith imagines making Addison squirm with her tongue as she trails it down Addison's stomach. Meredith has her hands on her own stomach as she imagines Addison pressing into her touches as she felt abdominal muscles roll under her touch.
Meredith feels the outer, then inner parts of her thighs as she imagines how strong and toned Addison's legs would feel like under her hands. The first thought she ever had was that Addison is all 'leggy and fabulous.'
And now Meredith can't help thinking that running her palms over Addison's thighs and her knees and her calves would be wonderful.
Meredith allows herself to imagine grabbing onto Addison's fine ass. God, her ass was so shaped and toned. Meredith wonders if Addison is a runner, if she likes to run, for sport. She imagines that Addison does, as she runs her own hands down her own ass, thinking Addison's would be so incredible.
Finally, Meredith imagines herself getting to the heat of it all. She imagines asking Addison one last time if she wants to go all the way. She imagines Addison begging her with a breathy 'please' before Meredith would slide a finger, slowly, all the way into Addison's entrance.
She would lock eyes with Addison, ensuring they never lost eye contact as she started to move her hand, in and out, of Addison, slowly. And then, slowly and surely, Meredith would add a second finger inside of her…
Meredith is feeling her own fingers inside of herself, as she picks up the pace, bracing herself against the back wall of the shower. But she imagines that Addison would be bracing herself between the wall as well as Meredith.
She imagines increasing her motions, before applying her thumb over Addison's clit, as Meredith does the same with herself. Meredith imagines hitting Addison's g-spot for the very first time as she curls her fingers inside of her to find her very own.
Meredith imagines edging Addison close, so close to her finish before backing away for a second. And then she would drop down to her knees and reposition herself so she was holding onto Addison's fine, fine ass with two hands.
Meredith imagines how Addison's dark, lustful eyes would look. She imagines giving Addison a smirk, like a little 'watch this' as Meredith spreads Addison's legs apart a little further and Meredith moves forward to go down on her…
Meredith knows objectively that this would, hypothetically, be the first time that Addison had ever been with a woman. But what she didn't know, at that moment, is that Addison had never actually totally received oral sex, or even digital sex, from even any of her previous, male partners.
Sure, Addison had had Mark's tongue on her for a few minutes, and his fingers as well, again, for a few minutes. Not to satisfaction and not to her own climax, at all, as she had told Derek just a few days ago but had not ever told that to anyone else, even Mark.
So Meredith didn't even know to dream that this would have been (if she had in some alternate dream never actually followed Addison into the shower and had sex with her, then…)
She didn't know to dream that it would be the very first time that Addison had someone get down on their knees to give HER oral sex. Which she had done many times for others, but had always felt too self-conscious to ever ask for in return.
Addison didn't want to be greedy, but Meredith wouldn't take it as greed. Meredith wouldn't need Addison to ask for it, to beg for it to actually happen. Meredith would be down on her knees offering herself to Addison in that way before Addison even had to open her mouth to speak.
"Shall I continue?" Meredith would ask Addison in a low tone. And Meredith feels herself adoring this fantasy of hers as she continues to fuck herself with her fingers, in the shower, alone. And she uses her other hand to touch her breasts now as she continues to imagine…
Meredith imagines Addison asking if she really wanted to. And Meredith would say that it's what she's always wanted most when she's lusted after Addison. That what she wants more than anything is to make Addison putty to mold under her hands.
What she's wanted the most is to see Addison react to the pleasure that Meredith can only begin to offer her. What Meredith wants is to make Addison feel sinfully good, to make her moan out like a whore, and to make her come completely undone.
And Meredith would continue these bittersweet nothings, as they seduced Addison further into Meredith's hands. Addison would say to her "if you're sure, Meredith, if YOU want this, then I do. I just don't want to be selfish…" and Addison would be all cute and shy and vulnerable.
And Meredith would ease all her concerns and tell Addison she could bring Meredith pleasure, herself, in this experience if she held onto her shoulders, and pulled on her hair, and kissed her on the head and on the neck and on the shoulders as she worked.
And Addison would say 'okay'. And then Meredith would dive in. Meredith would dive in as she's diving in on herself now, adding in a third finger to herself as she imagines tasting Addison experimentally with her tongue.
If she were to do this to Addison, Meredith knows she would be gentle, as it would be Addison's very first time doing this. She would swirl her tongue over all of Addison's vagina. She's hear Addison's whimpers as she worked her up more.
She'd probably tease her a bit about how good it tastes. She would lick in broad strokes before testing her tongue at Addison's entrance.
And Meredith swirled her fingers around her own entrance in the shower as she imagined doing the same, now, to Addison, only with her tongue all around it, before finally inserting it in.
She imagines what Addison would look like, hair all wild and billowing in the shower. She imagines what Addison would sound like, moaning out Meredith's name as she gave her really good head against the wall of the shower.
She imagines what Addison would feel like, as Meredith would remove her tongue to insert her fingers into Addison's entrance as she fastened her lips to Addison's clit and suck and suck and suck on it.
She imagines what Addison would be like, totally in awe of Meredith's skills in the 'bedroom'. As she felt all the things Meredith could do with her tongue, would she forgive her husband for having ever lusted over this blonde intern, because she, herself, could not help but do that?
Meredith brings herself right to the edge as she imagines doing the same with Addison now, having Addison arch her back up and fuck herself back onto Meredith's fingers as Meredith swirled her tongue right onto the sweet spot of Addison's clit as she thrust perfectly into her g-spot.
And the strokes she imagines on Addison, she does to herself now, And Meredith makes herself come now, all over her hand. And as she does, she imagines Addison coming, watching Addison come for the first time.
How it would make her love her, love her even more than she already did until then…
Meredith imagines how Addison would shudder beautifully from her ministrations. She imagines rocking Addison down from the aftershocks. She imagines milking every single last drop that Addison has to offer.
Meredith imagines herself holding Addison, after. Holding her in her arms as Addison collapsed into them, satisfied and exhausted at all the exertion. Meredith imagines how she would feel if, in her wildest dreams, Addison would say to her 'you're already the best sex I've ever had…'
And Meredith would smile to her then, and say to her 'and we're just getting started…
And she would help wash Addison off, and help her dry off, and help her dress all again.
As Meredith washed herself off after she had come, and dried off, and got dressed again…
Meredith yawned as she crawled into bed again, contentedly.
She didn't even care that her hair was still wet, she just allowed herself to daydream for a few sweet, sweet moments before she drifted off into a deep, deep sleep this time...
Meredith liked to imagine that Addison had touched herself in the shower, earlier, and maybe even while thinking of HER…
What she didn't know then, though, is that Addison had actually not done the masturbation thing, in the shower, or otherwise.
Not out of shame, or of not wanting to think about Meredith in a sexual way.
But in all actuality of total ignorance how to actually 'touch herself'.
Addison, after Mark and after Derek and after all the boys and the bars had never learned this.
She had never had that conversation with her friends yet to date.
So despite Addison's own intense sexual frustrations, she never released them, just showered.
Addison HAD been thinking endlessly of Meredith in a very sexual way… She just had not known about this simple way to act on them without actually 'acting on them' with another person, ergo, with Meredith.
So after Addison had headed on out from the room, she had no way of knowing as she sat in her office that Meredith had been awake at all for any of the time she had been in that on-call room with her.
Much less knowing that Meredith had not only been awake and alert and had been thinking of her showering to the point she jumped in the shower right afterwards to touch herself...
That Meredith had had one of the best orgasms of recent times, picturing herself screwing Addison Montgomery in the shower that evening.
Addison had no idea that, as she got dressed in her office to head soon to the bar
That Meredith had had one of the most peaceful naps ever after having come so hard like she needed to.
And that Meredith would be awake, alert and enthusiastic then-
About whatever life had to throw at her later that night at the bar.
Even 'mystery-person-shaped-things' and 'Addison Montgomery-shaped-things'...
***** END OF CHAPTER 28
Author's Note:
Sorry the sex scene only happened inside of a dream sequence…and then a masturbation fantasy sequence thing that I really hope made some sense to someone.
Kudos to you if you caught on to that pretty damn quick the first part was all imaginary. LOL. I like a slow burn and we've all been more than patient.
But yeah they're not in a place to actually hook up yet, but I thought the audience deserved a bit of fun. This is part of a sequence I've wanted to write for this series for a while.
Yes, this was a callback to Private Practice "In Which Addison Finds a Showerhead."
Anyways, hope you enjoyed, feedback requested on the 'sex scene'. Yay or nay? Do you want more of that or less? Anything in particular?
(I promise I won't judge, I just posted a new chapter of "Red is the new Black." which is all about kinky sex, go check that out after this if you want - but what I'm saying is I really won't judge. )
There are things I will not write, however, (that are typical things) like:
Anything illegal, Rape, dubious consent, or drunken/drugged sex that is not clearly established for consent.
-Admittedly, I'm not big on M/F sex or M/M descriptive sex and I don't really want those to be a key feature for this F/F story. Apologies. But I feel like the fans are rooting for the gays anyhow...
(That's why it's only the F/F MerAdd scenes that are graphic.)
(So anything between the two of them - Addison and Meredith - I could be open to!)
Let me know!
Enjoy the next approximately 36-48 hours before the next installment. I do update almost daily now, like clockwork. But if I have enough written and I get enough reviews I MAY POST EARLY!
Yes I know that this chapter is much shorter than recent ones, but It's late and I thought you might want a chapter like this, rather than nothing at all.
So, thank you in advance for the comments, from bobbiejelly.
THANK YOU FOR READING ! LEAVE A NOTE, IT WILL MAKE MY DAY :D