Starlingpaw brushed up against Birchpaw's side briefly as he went to join Ashscar as a part of the patrol that would find safe places for the Clan to sleep. She hadn't been ordered to do anything, so she sat at the base of the monster that Blizzardstar had addressed the Clan from and sat in wait, counting the moments that she was separated from her friend.

She couldn't shake the worry that Birchpaw might have an attack without her there, but she tried to reassure herself. There wasn't anything in the glen to trigger his anxiety, only dead monsters and crowfood. But, what if? came a worried thought from deep within her mind. There could be a fox or a badger hiding here. You don't know.

Starlingpaw shook herself out of it as well as she could. No matter how much she thought she had to be by Birchpaw's side, it was best if he could improve at least a little on managing without her. She couldn't always be there, even if she wanted to be, so he had to learn how to fend for himself. Even thinking the words made her cringe; she felt like she was abandoning him. She tried to shove the thought on her mind and focused her gaze on her paws.

She felt a touch on her forehead and jumped slightly, whirling around to see what it was. Starlingpaw was constantly on guard in such an unfamiliar environment, prepared for unexpected dangers. But it wasn't needed; Honeypool had just touched her nose to Starlingpaw's forehead to get her attention.

"Could you help me gather herbs, Starlingpaw?" the ginger she-cat asked, her eyes soft and gentle. Starlingpaw's fur bristled.

"I'd really rather-"

"Please, Starlingpaw. Set aside your grudge and help an old cat out?" Honeypool meowed. She looked tired, and for the first time Starlingpaw saw how much the attack had affected her. She wasn't injured or scarred, but the poor she-cat had suddenly been given the responsibility of caring for her clan in an environment she was totally unfamiliar with.

The apprentice took a deep breath. "Fine, I'll help. What am I looking for?"

Honeypool purred for a moment, then began to walk away and signaled with her tail for Starlingpaw to follow her. The sable she-cat caught up slower than she thought she would, hobbling quickly across the uneven ground and dodging dry patches of wildgrass that hurt her paws to step on. Starlingpaw wondered if she had strained a muscle falling down the slope; it hurt to walk, an uncanny stabbing pain in one of her back legs every time she fully extended it. But with all of the stress placed on Honeypool, Starlingpaw felt uneasy adding another injury to the medicine cat's workload.

"This glen is mostly barren, as you probably noticed," Honeypool began, slowing her pace so that Starlingpaw didn't have to waddle quite so furiously to keep up. The sable she-cat let out a sigh of relief and finally let herself relax, trying to ignore the pain in her hind leg. "I just want you to look out for any plant that looks or smells familiar. Come to me before you collect it, of course, in case it's poisonous."

Starlingpaw nodded, though she could already tell that they wouldn't find much of anything. The only vegetation she could see was the dried clumps of sharp grass and a few overgrown weeds, as most of the green space in the glen was covered by the corpses of monsters. She was surprised that they didn't smell, though from what she could tell their innards were solid and didn't rot like cats'.

The two she-cats walked together, slowly circling the graveyard, and they came upon one patch of brightly colored flowers. Honeypool identified them as dandelions, and asked Starlingpaw to dig up their roots. The sable she-cat buried her teeth as low down in the stem as she could and gave it a tug to try and loosen the roots, but it did little to help. She had to resort to using her claws to dig up the dirt surrounding the plant, and over time she had gathered a few entire plants, roots and all, of dandelion. Honeypool eventually returned to see how she had done, a few small tufts of green herb in her mouth.

"Thank you, Starlingpaw. Those will help the elders sleep tonight," the medicine cat meowed with a dip of her head, gathering the plants into a large pile with her paws and using a large, dried leaf she had been carrying to bundle them up.

Starlingpaw smiled, glad to be able to help her Clan. Now that her paws were still, her mind ran amok, and she worried about how Birchpaw was faring. But as she gazed frantically at the cats milling around the den, she caught sight of a large cat with a black-and-white pelt walking alongside a few senior warriors and Poppyfang. Though he looked nervous, Starlingpaw was relieved to see that he was safe. She cursed herself for worrying so greatly- what danger was her friend going to find between a load of dead monsters and some faded grass?

"How is Birchpaw doing?" Honeypool asked, nearly reading her thoughts. Starlingpaw realized in retrospect that the medicine cat had probably followed her gaze and assumed what was occupying her so much.

"Fine, no thanks to you," Starlingpaw said tersely, not bothering to offer to carry the herbs. She felt a little bad for holding something against Honeypool like this, but what if it had turned out worse and Birchpaw had been hurt? The medicine cat had failed her Clan, if only for a short while.

"I really wish you'd drop that, you know," the medicine cat sighed through the bundle of herbs. "I can't change what I've already done. It was a mistake, and you know that. How am I supposed to hear everything every single cat has to say? I'm bound to mess up every now and then. You just need to accept it."

Starlingpaw walked slowly alongside the ginger cat, her ears burning from the reprimand. She felt worse than ever about her grudge. "Birchpaw said he's been feeling odd," she mumbled. "He was moving really slowly earlier."

Honeypool nodded. "Thank you. And tell him not to worry. As far as I know, that's just a common symptom of anxiety, unless he has some other underlying problem. I'll tend to him tomorrow."

Starlingpaw nodded awkwardly and they continued on in silence, moving forward at a crawl due to Starlingpaw's even-more-than-usual limp. Eventually, Honeypool spoke up again and broke the thin veil of quiet.

"You would make an excellent medicine cat, you know," the ginger she-cat meowed unexpectedly. Starlingpaw stopped in her tracks. "You can gather herbs, identify them easily, and you even asked Birchpaw for his symptoms when he was feeling odd. Besides, I'm not getting any younger. I could use an apprentice, and I think you're great for it."

There was a long pause as Starlingpaw thought, glaring into Honeypool's eyes.

"So you're saying I should give up, then?" she growled. "All of this work you and I have put into my training, the swimming, the herbs, is all for nothing? You want me to throw away everything I've tried to earn?"

"No, that's not-"

"It is, Honeypool. I've told you this before. I want to be a warrior. That's what I'm fighting for. I couldn't hunt or do battle, and then I could. Then I lost my tail, and we had to start over, and we were making good progress. Are you sick of it? Tired of trying to help me reach my dreams?" Starlingpaw had raised her voice higher than she meant to, and she felt oddly surprised at how angry she was. She continued. "I'm sorry, but becoming a medicine cat would be failure. It would be weakness. No offense," she added absentmindedly. Honeypool gave her an incredulous look. "I want to be a warrior. To fight for my Clan and protect them until my dying breath, no matter how hard that may be for me. I want to feel the rush of battle and the pride of defending my home and its honor. I want my Clan to stay safe because I am there to protect it."

It was a while before the medicine cat responded, and Starlingpaw already felt bad about how hard she had been on her. She was preparing to apologize when Honeypool meowed, "You're right. I didn't really see it that way. I shouldn't have offered. Starlingpaw, if you want to be a warrior, then a warrior you'll be. As medicine cat, it's my duty to help you any way I can."

Starlingpaw almost smiled, but instead she nodded respectfully and continued to walk, holding her head high. She was proud that she had stood up for something she wanted, though everything seemed unnecessarily dramatic now that she looked back on it.

Luckily it wasn't too long before Honeypool left and Starlingpaw was alone again.

The sable she-cat sat curled up on the dusty ground for a long while, watching the sun dip below the sheer walls of the glen. The light drained from the clearing and she was left lying nearly invisible in the shadows between the monsters, only her bright yellow eyes glowing through the gloom. It was a long while before Birchpaw managed to break away from the patrol and join her where she sat, her half-tail swishing back and forth.

He pressed his muzzle against her side to get her attention, and Starlingpaw smiled gleefully at the sight of his face. Deep within her mind, she felt a prick of guilt and worry. Was she becoming too dependent on him? Starlingpaw barely knew what to do with herself when he wasn't around, even for a moment. The apprentices had become almost inseparable, two parts of the same cat. She worried that if worse came to worst and they were apart for a long time, she would be broken, unable to function.

"Sorry I left you alone for so long," Birchpaw meowed, scuffing his paws on the ground.

Starlingpaw shrugged. "It's fine," she told him, which wasn't entirely true. Starlingpaw had missed him so much she could barely think, and he had literally been a few tree-lengths away. What was wrong with her?

"Ashscar and the others found a monster that looks safe to sleep in. She's going to have the queens stay in it, so I figured we could join them. Since Tawnystripe and Mint will be there, I mean."

"Okay," Starlingpaw mewed softly, standing to take her place at Birchpaw's side. She felt like she belonged there. "Let's go find it, then."

The black-and-white tom led the way, the two cats weaving between large metallic corpses until they came upon a large square monster. Its round paws were missing, but it still stood upright, its boxy shape the height of at least ten cats. Its face was smashed open, revealing the red-brown intestines of the monster, which smelled nothing like animal innards. The side of the monster was wide open, revealing a utilitarian interior. A group of cats stood inside, curling up on the shiny cushions that sat far up from the ground.

Starlingpaw took a step inside and felt a welcome warmth from the cats inside. She jumped up onto the cushions, jumping at their oddly soft feel, though their exterior was rough and scratchy, as well as broken in some spots.

"My Twoleg had a monster just like this one," Mint meowed, startling her. When she had calmed down from the sudden sound of his voice, Starlingpaw greeted the gib cheerfully, touching her nose to his forehead. She settled herself into a comfortable position as he continued to speak. "These cushions are seats for the Twolegs."

"How do you know?" Starlingpaw asked as Birchpaw came up to join her, his long fur brushing against her flank.

"They use the monsters to travel. I was taken with a few times, whenever I had to visit the vet," Mint explained, his ears flattening. Fishkit looked at his adoptive father with confusion from where he sat with the other kits a tail-length away.

"Vet?" the tomkit asked, moving toward Mint.

"Yes, you've probably heard me mention it once or twice," the gib answered, giving his son an affectionate lick. "It's a horrible place. They clip at cats with sharp tools and stab you with needles."

Starlingpaw recoiled. "They stab you?"

Mint nodded. "I have no idea why. I don't think it's meant to hurt the cats, since they stop the bleeding and they're very careful about it. I think it injects something into you, but I have no idea what. It usually makes me fall asleep."

Birchpaw cocked his head, confused. "So they stab you with something that makes you fall asleep? That makes no sense."

"Well, they do other things to you while you're sleeping. With the sharp tools, and…" Mint ended with a shudder. "Sorry, Fishkit. I shouldn't be scaring you like this. Just be glad that you'll never have to go there."

Fishkit nodded enthusiastically. "I'm Clan!"

"You sure are," Mint meowed with a laugh. "Now try to sleep, okay?"

Fishkit obeyed, stumbling across the monster seat to where Tawnystripe's kits lay sleeping peacefully. He curled up beside them and yawned wide, his tiny jaws stretched out like an eagle's beak.

"I don't think he has any idea what's going on," Mint sighed, speaking so quietly STarlingpaw wasn't sure if she was meant to hear it.

"I don't think any of us know what's going on, really," Starlingpaw replied softly, trying to calm him. She could barely process the situation; it didn't feel real to her, like it was all just a bad dream, and soon she would wake up and find herself in her warm den with Birchpaw and Larkpaw beside her.

Larkpaw.

She had almost forgotten about her brother. Well, not forgotten, really. She had tried to push thoughts of him out of her mind, reassuring herself that he was safe and there was nothing to worry about. She knew that, in reality, it was likely he was in danger, especially when he was separated from the Clan. Starlingpaw didn't want to consider the possibility that he was dead, so she tried to ignore the subject entirely.

"Thanks," meowed Mint, pulling her away from her dark thoughts. "I guess?"

Starlingpaw nodded in what she hoped was a kind gesture and turned away from the gib, exhausted and longing for sleep. She curled up beside Birchpaw, but rest would not find her. She was kept awake by the nearly inaudible sounds of sobbing, the ragged intakes of breath and the sharp cries of emotional pain. A tail-length away Mosspetal was crying to herself, burying her calico fur in Tawnystripe's pelt.

"Shh," Tawnystripe whispered, trying to comfort her mate. "We had to. She'll be safer there than she would be here."

Her words did little to console her, though Mosspetal quieted down a touch.

Starlingpaw stared at the ceiling of the monster, her eyes tracing the path of the red-brown dapple, her mind full of blood and tears. Eventually she drifted off as she listened to the slow breathing of Birchpaw, his large chest rising and falling with more calm than he had when he was awake.

The Clan fell into restless dreams as the moon rose, lighting the lands beyond and revealing a flood of cats as they flowed through the mountainous meadows and poured down the steep drop-off into the glen.

/

hey look! a short, bonus chapter!

this is a bit of a buffer, but it's needed. the dialogue to me feels,, ehh kind of weird, but so is just the concept of starlingpaw declaring her life dreams to honeypool so it wasn't going to be great in the first place?

anyway! this may be the last chapter i write before school starts, so as i've said, updates will be slower from here on out! sorry, but i'm hoping that that will help me from going crazy and giving up which is definitely not something i want to do.

i'm kind of flowing into a freeform perspective with these starlingpaw chapters. the last few lines are like, omniscient narrator pov? well last starlingpaw chapter we had an ashscar pov for like one sentence and this time we've got a weirder one!

big plot is happening! stuff is ramping up! many new characters are arriving (why do i do this to myself lol the allegiances is already huge)

once again if you've submitted an apprentice/ kit oc thats around six moons of age (has been a few moons since the original ages) then please let me know if you're okay with them becoming medicine cat apprentices!

here are reviews!

ThatOneVirgo - thank you! I really really love to write Mothripple's perspectives. She's a really refreshingly real character! Featherstar is honestly just old and very set in her ways, she refuses to retire though she really needs to at this point. And thank you, i am planning on making lowkit a medicine cat apprentice! have a great day :)

JuniperTheWarrior - ouch yikes. we had a choice between online and in-person and i chose online so i wouldn't die of stress from the fear of going to school. i wish you luck! and cool, i might check the story out if i can find the time!

succulentsofa - thank you, it's very reassuring to hear that. idk why i just like overstress everything so hearing that helps me a lot! i really super love larkpaw and wolfkit's relationship. whoever thought the way to get over your first love is to bond with their kid? lol. thank you! mothripple is truly an amazing character, i love to write her, and thank you so so much for submitting her. having a cat that's not like, ever-confident in her abilities like they're often portrayed is really new and exciting to write! I'm still trying to figure out how to make featherstar not a total idiot, since blizzardstar occupies that spot. thank you! have a nice day!

thank you everyone for reading and/or reviewing! i hope all of you have a great day, and i hope to update in the next week or so! :)

note: though i love english class i have to read a lot of classic works this year like romeo & juliet (that sorta stuff!) so uhh, reading that is going to take up a lot of my free time. not that they'll be bad! i just know that they take a lot of brain work to comprehend so i'm not expecting a load of free time to write! also, trigonometry. there's that too.