Chapter 30

In Monday morning, students skittered around to attend their classes, resuming to their routine after well-rested weekends. The first years and second years were practically skipping in excitement as another day filled with magic awaits them. It was not the same with the seventh years, unfortunately, due to their impending N.E.W.T. They slumped their shoulders with the pressure it burdens them, face glum and serious with anxiety and tiresome.

Especially for Gryffindors and Slytherins, as they had Potions as their first class. Potions, in the morning, was like a nightmare to all students. The two never work well with another, like water and oil. In their barely-waken state, most students hardly have their lids open during classes.

However, this was not the case for Lily Evans. Lily was exceptionally talented at potions, or so Professor Slughorn believes. In truth, the most part of her talent in potion was owed to one particular Slytherin boy called Severus Snape. Severus was, in Lily's view, the genius in the art of potion making. It's just that some snobby people failed to see through his appearance.

Lily was glad that the morning class was Potions with Slytherins as it meant that she could see Sev finally after a long time seeking for the boy. The redhead has been trying and failing to encounter Severus Snape, as though he was avoiding her. Or someone was hiding him from her. Sirius Black was her suspect, but he cannot hide him from her in classes, now, could he?

So, with the hope bubbling up in her stomach, Lily settled down in the front. She turned her head back to the entrance so that she could see anyone entering after her. A bunch of students wearing green and silver ties came in, but none had long black hair with a prominent hooked nose. Lily tried not to disappoint.

And in came was a dark-haired boy wearing Gryffindor tie who went straight for the teacher's desk and handed out a sheet of parchment.

"Ah, Mister Black, what is this?" Professor Slughorn asked in curious voice.

He looked down at the parchment and soon later, his eyebrows lifted in slight astonishment. "Merlin's Beard! What had he gotten himself? Better not serious, I hope-," the old professor gasped.

Sirius Black shook his head in dismay, "I'm afraid he needs a proper care to get well, professor. Madame Pomfrey insisted that he rests well in his room."

"Of course, of course." Professor Slughorn nodded his head in approval, "if he needs anything from me, just tell me, my boy, and do not worry with the classes, I shall inform the other teachers."

Sirius Black smiled in wistfully, "thank you, professor." And he turned to a table near it, sitting down as the old professor waved him.

Lily frowned in confusion. Who were they talking about? Better not Severus. She noticed Black was alone, meaning the other marauders weren't here to join him. Perhaps, the Gryffindor boy meant his friends, not Severus. Lily tried to ignore the tinge of guilt and worrisome as she so blatantly dismissed her ex-boyfriend. Well, James is a strong boy so it couldn't be such a bad thing if Sirius Black meant James.

But as soon as she is thinking of him, James turned up with Peter Pettigrew, hurriedly skipping through the crowds and settled down next to Sirius. Lily's frown deepened.

"Hey, sorry I'm late. Pete's been annoyingly stubborn this morning." James whispered.

Sirius smirked, "What have you been doing last night, Pete? Something to do with that mysterious girlfriend of yours?"

The bespectacled boy covered his mouth, but his eyes glinted with amusement.

Peter Pettigrew reddened as he scowled and punched Sirius at the arm. "I told you there was nothing."

"Aww, Pete, are you sure you can manage alone? I can help with ladies." Sirius smiled wickedly.

The chubby boy didn't response, trying to calm his over-heated head but his round face was still too red.

Lily turned her head away from those three, trying to find Severus but the class had started, and entrance was closed. Still not sign of Severus Snape. Lily grew worried. What on god's name happened to him? Black sounded like Severus was seriously ill.

And Lily remembered perfectly clear the rumors hung around the castle for quite some time at first semester. Severus Snape, gotten himself a serious illness from filthy Muggle-town, was a ticking time bomb.

The pretty face of the redhead paled ghastly white at the thought.

She shook her head. No, no, it can't be. Severus was not dying, of course. And if he had such serious illness, he should've been in Saint Mungo's, not Hogwarts. But the already-sprung worry grew faster, consuming her nerves.

Lily whipped her head around to glare Sirius Black. She didn't know what was going on, but she was certain of this. Anything that happened to Severus happened because of that wretched boy. Even while she was dating James, she never liked that boy. He was far too dark and far too reckless, even for a marauder. And now, he had finally gotten hold of her dear friend and had done something so terrible that he couldn't even show up in his favorite class.

"Now, class, we are making Amortentia, a love potion. Anyone could explain what this potion does?" Professor's booming voice rung the classroom.

Lily was pulled out of her reverie at the masculine voice and raised her hand.

"The love potion makes the drinker feel keen affections towards the giver. It clouds their judgment and ability to rationalize, creating reckless and dangerous obsession," Lily spoke in mechanical voice.

Professor Slughorn smiled, "and why, Miss Evans, this potion can be the most dangerous potion?"

Lily calmly replied, her green eyes glancing coldly at the particular Gryffindor, "because obsession without discreet and restraint will only cause damage to both parties."

"Indeed", the old wizard agreed, "take five well-earned points, Miss Evans."

The rest of the class went as well as expected. Lily had to sigh in disappointment when Severus had not appeared. She shook her head, breathing deeply, and went about to her normal routine. Severus was in this castle which means she and Sev will, eventually, meet at some point during the day.

Remus Lupin had not shown up either, which meant that it could have been him that the marauder mentioned, not Severus. It could have been gigantic coincidence that Severus hadn't shown up while Remus Lupin was sick. She was sorry if the nicest marauder got sick, but she was hopeful that she could see Sev soon.

But her hope was betrayed by the empty seat at the Slytherin table in Defense class. He was not in the Great hall at lunch, and the only overlapping class she had with Severus was the Defense against the Dark Arts. She grew worried, her bright green eyes searching the classroom for any sign of the Slytherin. However, all she found was that Sirius Black was not in the Marauders table with the others and Remus Lupin was there.

She frowned in incredulous look. She suspected he was very sick. Yet, the boy looked never been better, laughing as James Potter hexed Peter Pettigrew.

Well, he will show up at dinner, she thought to herself. He must.

But he didn't. And Lily Evans couldn't be feeling worse.

After being discharged from the hospital wing, she had been dying to see Severus, to tell him how she feels about him. Yet, the boy refused to show himself above the ground, hiding in his dungeon. Then, when he did, he never left the side of Sirius Black. Lily couldn't approach Severus when he was with the Gryffindor boy. He seemed… so happy, relaxed. She had never seen him like that before. He was nervous and agitated, constantly fidgeting and at unease, whenever he was with her, afraid that she'll abandon him.

Seeing the look on Severus' face when he was with Sirius Black made her stomach churn with rage and jealousy. It made her doubt what she realized about Severus' true feeling. It made her anxious that she might have been too late.

But she was a Gryffindor. Bravery suppressed the urge to run away from the fear. She shall face Severus and find out whether she was wrong, or they've still got chance.

However, day after day, Severus was absent from every class and every meal, as though he was vanished.

Her anxiety grew even worse and she had to repeat to herself over and over that everything was alright, and Severus will show up.

…...…...…...…...…..

Few weeks later, there was a meeting among the school staff and head boys and girls. Despite her reluctance to attend such tedious routine, she dragged her feet to the meeting room.

Inside, there were a group of teachers and prefects, as well as head students from each house. Lily noticed there weren't any wearing green and silver ties.

"Miss Evans, please take a seat."

"Yes, professor."

As she was sitting down, the door behind her swung open, revealing the handsome looking Gryffindor chaser. Lily felt her heart sink in guilt as she met his hazel eyes. There were rimmed with dark circles.

"I'm sorry I'm late", said James, panting.

Professor McGonagall knitted her eyebrows in dislike as she nodded to him. "Take a seat, Potter."

James obliged, hurriedly crossing the floor, and taking a seat next to Lily. Lily felt his breathe ghosting over her, as the boy struggling to catch his breath. She winced inwardly, cursing the protocol that each house must sit next to each other for the sake of arrangement.

She purposefully fixed her gaze at her front which happened to be a hapless Hufflepuff girl. Lily can feel the hazel eyes staring at her momentarily before he, too, turned his gaze elsewhere. She bit her lip, stealing a glance through lustrous curtains of her hair.

James looked somewhat different. His handsome features were there but it seemed blurred by inexplicable dark look. His eyes were rimmed with shadows and his mouth was thinned into a line, even his unruly hair seemed drooped down flat. When he noticed her gaze, he quickly lightened up his features with trademark grin.

"Now, as I said the security is the number one priority, and therefore, Quidditch matches should be annulled. It is the most unfortunate thing to happen, yet the headmaster and I came to conclusion that-,"

"-what?!" James cried in shock.

Professor McGonagall frowned, perturbed at being interrupted.

"You can't cancel Quidditch! You simply can't!" James, gawking at the old witch as if she were insane, shook his head in strong disapproval.

"Yes, I can when there is a dire situation at hand, endangering the safety of students." Professor McGonagall smoothed out her face and said in a stern voice.

James gaped his mouth, completely bewildered. "B-but you couldn't-,"

"Mister Potter, I thought you would understand, considering the situation you witnessed yourself, that the safety of the students is the utmost important priority above all." The hearty woman spoke with a monotonous voice yet there was hidden message in it.

James immediately stilled, his protests dying quickly.

Lily sympathized him.

"Quidditch this year will be ended with the last match and the house who've scored the most shall be rewarded with the Quidditch cup. This is final, and there will be no reversal in the decision", Professor McGonagall finished with an emphasis on final.

James slumped, feeling gloomy.

The house who've won the most score was fucking Slytherin, which meant the snakes will be the one winning the last Quidditch cup. This happened due to the unexpected absence of Gryffindor's most talented seeker, who was ill at the time drinking poisonous serpent blood. He couldn't make it to the last match and the Slytherins won their game big time with the Ravenclaws afterward.

Lily stared at the boy depressing with a pity which turned into a mixed feeling. She knew it was cruel and cold thing to ask whether he knew about Severus Snape's whereabouts. She got the feeling that Sirius Black was behind all this hidings and James' his best mate. Surely, he knew of the dark Gryffindor's plan.

Yet, she couldn't bring herself to ask what she was dying to know. Even though she messed up a lot, but she knew of limits and decency. So, she pursed her lips tightly trying not to indulge into her anxiety.

The meeting was over smoothly afterwards, and the crew left the room. Lily lazily got up and walked up to the door when a gentle voice stopped her.

"Are you doing alright, Lily?"

Lily turned her head to see James staring at her ruefully.

She didn't response as her voice caught in her throat.

"You seem a bit agitated", James muttered, his gaze dropping.

Lily bit her lip before she croaked, "I'm good. And you?"

"I'm…," James paused, "I'm doing well."

"I'm sorry for the Quidditch match. Will the Slytherins going to get the cup?"

James' face fell, reminded of something he'd rather forget. Lily mentally kicked herself for being so careless.

"I suppose so. Well, I think it's about time for some charity, don't you think? After all the time they've lost…" James trailed off awkwardly.

Lily chuckled nervously, "Yeah, I suppose so."

"Well, I'd better go, Remus- wants me to do something for him-, um", James stuttered and hurried to the door.

It was clear he was making excuses, but Lily was glad he was. She was feeling the awkward atmosphere becoming more and more unbearable. The redhead heaved a sigh as she left the room giving the Gryffindor time to disappear. She was grateful to her own temperance.

When she left the room and climbed the Gryffindor Tower, Lily found the familiar figures who she recognized immediately. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. She couldn't hear what they were talking about but the looks on their face gave away that it was important.

And immediately, she thought of Severus.

Somehow, she knew they were talking about Severus. Lily quickly got out of the portrait hole when the taller boy bid goodbye to Sirius Black and made a step towards the entrance. Remus was climbing down the stairs, his gazed fixed upon the air as though he had purpose for his walk before dinner.

She drew her wand out and cast several charms to make her steps lighter and quieter, and to make her blend into background. Feeling the cold feeling as the charms washed over her, she followed the boy in silence.

Luckily, the boy had not noticed her as she followed Remus down to the entrance hall and down to the… dungeon?

Lily clasped her hand over her mouth, trying not to make a sound at this.

So, she was right! They were behind all this. Though she was unaware of Remus Lupin being involved in this shenanigan. Her brow furrowed in anger, feeling betrayed by the once believed to be nicest marauder.

Lily quickly hid herself behind a pillar when Remus turned his head. She worried if he noticed being tailed, but it seemed he was merely checking, as he continued on his walk.

He strode down pass the Slytherin dormitory entrance and headed to a deeper side of a long corridor. At the end of the corridor, she realized, was nothing but stoned walls. She frowned in confusion.

"Wha-," Lily muttered to herself.

But when the redhead started to question Remus' sanity, the Gryffindor boy drew up his wand and tapped the stoned wall three times. And the wall smoothly glided open without a sound. The boy went inside, where Lily swore, she heard Severus' voice.

She contemplated whether she should get inside or wait. As if to snicker her hesitation, the stoned wall started to glide, closing down. The redhead couldn't hold back her gasp. Her jaw dropped and her green eyes wide open, she walked up to the wall. Across this wall, there was Severus. With Remus Lupin.

What was he doing? Was he being held captive? Why would Remus and Sirius Black do such a thing? What is this place?

Numerous questions that cannot be answered to on her own spun inside her head. Lily just couldn't figure out what was going on. She touched the stoned wall, feeling the rough surface with her palm. It was perfect metaphor for her current situation. A gigantic wall between Lily and Severus, which opens up to someone else that wasn't her.

But this will not go the way as before. She will come back. She will have Severus.

…...…...…...…...…...…...…...…

"Hey, there little man", Remus smiled as he picked up squirming Caelum from his bed.

"Hi, did you sleep well?" The Gryffindor boy kissed the baby Black on his forehead as he cooed him.

Only a few weeks old, Caelum was still spending his days in sleep. When he was not sleeping, he was crying at the top of his lung, or sucking from the very tired Slytherin. Remus gazed at the mahogany door. Across the door, in the main room, Severus was taking well-deserved rest after wrestling with baby Caelum in between studies.

Remus clicked his tongue, sympathized with the boy's current situation.

He didn't like that he was the only one helping Severus and Sirius, and their baby. There must be more people involved to take care of baby while Severus can have his moment to study. For god's sake, it was only a few week ago he'd delivered a child and he barely sleeps.

Caelum made a noise as if to draw his attention. Remus smiled again, smoothing out frowns he didn't realize, rocking the baby gently.

"You've made your papa tired, have you? You are little mischievous boy", he pecked kisses on the baby's chest, who squirmed amused.

He couldn't help himself; the baby was too adorably not to. Really, he was. Baby Caelum had black wisp of hair, blue eyes, which might turn into something else as he grow up, chubby cheeks that you just want to bite, and a little button nose. His hands were so small, curled up in gentle fists, and plum.

He never knew he loved children, as he never had the chance to meet one, but Caelum was something special. Perhaps it was because Caelum was Sirius'. Being his best friend's child makes it more special, he supposed. But even so, he was very lovable.

"Hey, Moony," a whispered voiced called him.

Remus turned to find Sirius closing the small wooden door quietly as he can.

"Hey."

"How long Severus' been sleeping?" Sirius asked.

"Not for long. He's been very exhausted, Mimny told me he was studying before I came", Remus whispered.

"Ah", Sirius nodded with a small frown.

"Caelum's doing great, though", Remus said, looking down the baby affectionately.

Sirius' face melted into goofy grin immediately, closing his distance between Remus and him. He stared at his baby, lifting his hand to gently touch his hair. It felt so soft under his callused fingers.

"Hey, baby Black", Sirius whispered to his son.

Caelum rolled his head and eyes to meet his father.

They gasped in sync, when the baby twitched his lips into something that very like a smile. The two stared at each other before quickly dropping their gaze to see Caelum who just returned to normal face.

"Did he just…?"

"No, no, he can't be. Babies don't smile until two months old. That was just reflex smile", Remus politely countered, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Yeah, but-… Wow. He just smiled at me, at my voice", Yet, Sirius had to grin like a goon, feeling the overwhelming warmth washing over him.

He wished Severus were awake to see this. The Slytherin would have been the proudest.

For the past few weeks, Severus has been staying inside the nursery to take care of Caelum as well as himself. They managed to fool Madame Pomfrey to give them a permit for Severus. And since then, he was here, trying to recover from the child labor and to care for his baby.

Which turned out to be one of the most demanding things he ever had to go through.

Caelum, although he stayed most of the day sleeping, was demanding a lot from Severus. Severus had to wake up every two or three hours to nurse him and calm him whenever he woke up sporadically. Of course, Sirius and Remus, as well as Mimny were lending their hands. Yet, as Severus was the one spending the most time with Caelum, he was exhausted at the end of every night.

Sirius felt bad about not being with him all the times. He wished he could, and he even pledged to be with him. But Severus just snorted and said no.

Caelum's cries snapped him from his train of thoughts. Remus tried to calm the baby, worried they might wake Severus up, but the baby won't stop crying. Sirius hurriedly took his baby from Remus and started rocking his baby gently. He eyed the door worriedly.

"There, there, Cae, it's alright, I'm here, it's alright", Sirius whispered.

But the baby wouldn't stay quiet, even though his wails subdued a bit. Sirius carefully placed him down a tall table which they use as diaper changing table. When he unraveled the baby's bundle and clothes, the two Gryffindors scrunched up their nose at the odor.

"Oh dear," Remus waved his wand out to clear the air.

Then, he handed a new clothed diaper to the father, who gave an appreciative nod. Sirius grabbed Caelum's feet and held them high, taking the diaper off the baby. Remus quickly whisked his wand and the dirty diaper folded itself and dumped into a laundry bin. Sirius held his baby's feet high again, this time to put the new one in before wiping the baby's bum clean. When they finished changing a diaper, Caelum fell droopy again. His eyelids opened slowly and slowly before they closed completely.

Sirius chuckled, adoring his child.

"I think he's good for another few hours, don't you think?" Sirius asked.

"Yes, I believe so", Remus answered.

…...…...…...…...…...

Lily glared at the marauders from their behind. She made up plans to go back to that weird place. But to do that, she needed to know when will Severus be left alone. It was hard thing to figure out because Sirius Black and Remus Lupin took alternates.

But after a few more weeks, Lily finally figured out when would be the best time for her to find Severus.

It was Friday night, when Remus Lupin had to go home as his mother was sick, again. And Sirius Black was called by Professor Slughorn who wanted some help with the ingredients. That was unusual, but Lily was grateful.

Lily took a deep breath before she drank a bottle of Invisibility Potion, diluted enough to last only ten minutes. And she dashed towards the dungeon.

Her heart was pounding. She could feel her breathe as she panted madly. Hope mixed with eagerness and joy, and fear and worrisome all bubbled up in her stomach, she didn't know whether she was feeling glad or scared.

After a long, agonizing wait, she was finally seeing her true love.

When the redhead reached to her destination, the potion wore off and Lily was revealed again. Lily took a moment to catch her breath. She didn't want to look like a giant hot mess when she finally meets Severus. Stroking her long red hair with her fingers and smoothing out any wrinkles on her clothes, Lily tried to look presentable. She mentally chastised herself for not bringing potions that could make her look flattering.

She chuckled.

What was she thinking? She needn't any of such potions.

Severus, with his unbearably straightforward love, wouldn't care about her messed up

hair, sweating forehead.

She only needed her true self, and bravery to confess her sorry, and her genuine feeling.

Severus will forgive her; she knew he would.

Taking another deep breath, Lily embraced herself as she tapped the stoned wall three times with her wand.

And the stoned wall started to glide open as before.

The ravaging beat of her heart was pounding against her ribs.

This is it.

And the sight before her make Lily Evans froze in utter shock.

"Lil?"

"Oh my god"