Deceit awoke wrapped up in Virgil. He was pleasantly warm in the morning for once with this idiot wrapped around him. The problem was that Virgil and groaned and just grabbed him tighter and went back to sleep. He needed to get up- he had plans to continue to test things today. Virgil was already snoring again, gripped tight to Deceit's top. He didn't do late.
He wasn't going to be delayed because of this clingy idiot. He snapped his and Virgil's clothes back to their normal daily attire and very slowly sat up, shifting Virgil's legs slowly over his lap. They were now sitting at the edge of the bed, and Deceit was holding up a dead-asleep Virgil to his body, who was still attached with vice-like tenacity. This would have to be good enough. He gently pulled Virgil's hood over his head and made it sound proof. As long as he didn't move too much Virgil should be able to stay asleep until he can be woken up with less risk.
It had occurred to him to just use some venom, but he wasn't positive of Virgil's reaction and his entire body was definitely in the danger zone. He did not like pain. He waited for his test dummy to arrive quietly. He had zero intention of waking Virgil up, messing up his whole plans for the day.
"Oh, daddy's bitch has made daddy the bitch the morning," Remus cooed as he rose up.
"Yes, what a pleasure to see you too, Remus, can we please get on with it?" Deceit said and rolled his eyes.
"Is there a sign-up sheet for Virgil cuddles? He does look soft," Remus said, half affectionately and half with humor.
"If you two would stop trying to kill each other for once, you could conceivably just ask," Deceit said, losing his patience. Remus wasn't like Virgil, he never cared if Deceit was pissed and always continued to bother him further. He didn't hate Remus by any means, but the man really did know how to push him.
"His buttons are just so big and bright and shiny and he likes to fight! Am I just supposed to fight no one but my brother?" Remus whined.
"Well, unless you want to snuggle your own tentacles, I'd shower off the dumpster you rolled in and pick a random pleasant scent for once and just ask. Now, if we can please get down to business, I need your report of the effects from yesterday," Deceit groaned. Perhaps Remus knew he was unwilling to move with Virgil there because he didn't respond. He just smiled and moved closer.
"Remus," Deceit said coolly and summoned a cobra which he pointed at him. The cobra hissed and took an offensive stand on Deceit's hand. "Just because I can't move doesn't mean I can't retaliate if you disregard me,"
"I just wanna poke him!" Remus whined. "He's so vulnerable and weak! I could take anything from him!" Deceit laughed darkly. Oh, so Remus didn't know. He sent the snake off, and it evaporated into light. Deceit slightly angled Virgil out toward Remus. It was difficult with Virgil grasping his shirt, but this would be worth it just to watch. Virgil rests, but his anxiety doesn't. It's still running wild in there. Deceit can feel it churning under the hand holding him up.
"You're right, he's very vulnerable. Certainly not a threat," Deceit said casually and gently pulled back Virgil's hood. He held Virgil out a little further and braced himself as Remus approached and tried to slap him across the face with a tentacle. But dark webs shot out from under his hoodie and Remus was quickly covered and constricted by icy black webs. Virgil's hand was raised and spiders began dropped and heading towards their prey as a scream from Remus was stifled behind the webs.
The scream woke Virgil, who also woke with a scream and balled up tightly on deceit's lap and started to freeze over himself, shaking violently with wide eyes glowing purple. Deceit already had a snake ready for this and it bit the only open spot of skin available at his neck, where Deceit pulled the hood further down for it to reach. Virgil collapsed back into Deceit's arms when the venom hit with a deep sigh. That would teach Remus a lesson better than Deceit could himself. He watched Remus trapped in a black, spider-infested cocoon on the floor, eyes wide with terror.
"Virgil's certainly not able to spread his affliction like you are or anything," He said coolly. Virgil moaned and held his head for a moment. He coughed and looked around, noticing Remus webbed up on the floor.
"You little shit, did you try to wake me up?" Virgil growled groggily, wobbling briefly as he stood up. "Thanks for stopping me before I ate him, D… He would have tasted terrible…" Virgil said with a groan. He walked over and kicked the black cocoon and a static shock danced across the top of the webs. "Promise to never fucking wake me up again and maybe that won't happen again," Virgil glanced to Deceit behind him, his mind probably working to catch up with the situation. "Though I don't necessarily make that call. Better play nice with 'my daddy'," He said with a dark but tired chuckle. He was glad Virgil was smart enough to get the picture so fast. Though he wished he wouldn't call Deceit that stupid name Remus always tried to heckle Virgil with.
Remus nodded wildly. Virgil knelt down and placed a hand on the cocoon and it stared receding back into him. He tugged Remus up by the arm and gave him a rough hug, probably trying to increase the contact to pull it back faster. Remus desperately shot his arms up and grasped him, hyperventilating. Virgil held his hand over Remus's head and the shudders decreased almost immediately and Remus went back to normal, shaken but no longer affected.
"Wow, you really are soft," Remus muttered.
"Of course I am. I'm soft and seem nice until you find out how venomous and deadly I am. That's when people run away," Virgil said bitterly. He had a light sheen of sweat on his forehead, probably from the effort of taking all of that back into himself. "Now let go, fuck-for-brains, just because I didn't kill you doesn't mean I want to fucking snuggle with you right now," Virgil said, pushing him off. Remus was reluctant to let go and still shaken, clenching Virgil's hoodie. Virgil softened and went back to hug him. "You're an idiot,"
"Charming, really, but you're here to report to me and not cuddle my subordinate," Deceit said sarcastically. Virgil bristled and started to pull back. "You're fine, dear," Deceit reassured him. Virgil wasn't being the problem right now.
Virgil relaxed and sat on the floor with Remus, and they continued to hold each other. Virgil started settling down into Remus in true cuddle monster form. Deceit really was baffled how clingy he was under all those layers of fear making him scared to try to reach out before.
"Pull up your hood, Virgil," Deceit said simply. Virgil nodded and pulled it up. There was a shocked look on his face as he pulled it on, but he didn't move to take it off. He really was a smart one. "You are getting the attention you wanted from him, and I didn't let him kill you when you woke him. You have gotten everything you were disstracted by, sso give me the damned report," Deceit said, the anger rising in his voice.
Remus shivered for once. Finally, he got the picture. At least for now. Remus was powerful as creativity, but his demented thoughts had nothing on the maelstrom inside of Virgil. If Virgil could actually utilize it instead of being slowly crushed by it, he would be truly terrifying indeed. Deceit knew firsthand that the things he sent out were things he himself was suffering from, and he walks around like nothing is wrong when it debilitated almost every other side who ever hit it. Remus started rambling off things in short order and Deceit had summoned his notes to compare the statements with what he had observed from Remus yesterday.
"Fine. Come tomorrow with your report at the same time. Lift your sleeve," Deceit said and conjured a snake. Remus groaned and rolled his eyes, but he did as Deceit asked pretty quickly for once. He needed to keep Virgil nearby for these in the future. Virgil's eyes widened as the snake bit Remus and Remus's eyes glossed over for a moment. Deceit mimed pulling a hood off and Virgil nodded and removed his, but he didn't ask questions.
"You want to hang out and read comics later?" Remus asked shyly, which was new and interesting. Deceit took note of that.
"You want to take a shower?" Virgil asked mockingly.
"I'll take a fucking shower," Remus groaned.
"Then, yeah, I haven't read the new Batman in a while. Not since we last read comics together, anyway. But, um," Virgil had a look of apprehension on his face and turned towards Deceit.
"I'll make you a room on the outer rim and we will help you leave when the time comes, Virgil," Deceit said. Virgil nodded. Remus looked a little confused. This could be a good chance to see what was going on and test how long he could be in there.
"Does that mean you'll join us?" Virgil asked hopefully.
"I will be there, but I will be busy," Deceit said dismissively.
"Oh, okay," Virgil said, sounding slightly disappointed. The duke looked a little pissy until Virgil gave him a tighter hug and pulled himself off the floor. Remus then looked dazzled instead.
"I got to go, but I'll see you guys later. Take that shower, Ream, I need to disinfectant spray the shit out of myself," Virgil shot a shy smile to Deceit.
"Smart," Deceit said and waved his hand to dismiss him. Virgil sunk out to go join the others for breakfast.
"You god damn lucky dog, you sleep with that?" Remus whistled.
"It's perfectly chaste, Remus," Deceit said and rolled his eyes, going back to writing in his notes.
"I know, but he's soft, and he smiles at you like you fucking light up his goddamn world, it's not fucking fair!" Remus whined childishly.
"It's called not being an asshole to him," Deceit said and slammed his pen down on the bed, closing the folder.
"It's not just that, well it is a little, but you know we can't be near each other for too long! His chocolate gets in my peanut butter and we both go nuts!" Remus whined. "We have fun when we hang out! He likes my humor! And now someone will actually hug me, and it's him? But he's loyal to you," Remus spat bitterly.
"His loyalty and affections aren't locked together. Just find his limit for you being a piece of shit and be careful not to cross it. He clearly likes scuffling with you for whatever reason," Deceit said with clear frustration. Remus waggles his eyebrows salaciously. "You know he's not doing that with you," Deceit groaned.
"Ugh, way to shatter a guy's dreams," Remus whined again and flopped down on the floor.
"You're lucky he'll even touch you with his handss," Deceit hissed. "Get out of my room, Remuss, I have thingss to do," Deceit stood and glared at Remus.
"Fi~ine, see you later," Remus childishly whined and disappeared in a puff of green smoke. Deceit left before he had to smell whatever Remus just gassed his room with.
— * * * —
Virgil was laughing, caught in a headlock under Roman's arm, and getting a noogie. "Oh, somebody's been naughty," Roman taunted him with a chuckle. Virgil flushed a little but just reached his arms around the best he could and grabbed Roman, attempting to take him down.
"Boys! No roughhousing at the table!" Patton said with his arms crossed. He sounded a little upset, but there was a twinge of humor.
"Sorry, dad," Roman and Virgil said at the same time, looked at each other and laughed. They sat back up and went back to breakfast. Virgil was enjoying chocolate chip waffles and a side of fruit this morning. He kept cutting the waffles into even portions of squares and ate the excess. There was something really satisfying about it. It was so even and measured. He caught Logan eying him over the paper once or twice, but he didn't seem to want to talk in front of the other sides. That suited him just fine.
"You want whipped cream, Virge?" Roman asked, and a can appeared in his hands. Virgil nodded enthusiastically and Roman sprayed a small mountain on his plate before putting a little on a strawberry and eating it. Virgil followed suit and dipped a strawberry to enjoy. He could feel his face light up. Oh, why had he slept so long on food? Virgil moaned quietly from the sharp strawberry with the fluffy whipped cream.
"You're my food angel, Ro," Virgil said gratefully while he enjoyed a whipped cream blackberry.
"I can show you the world, sweet, salty, and tangy…" Roman crooned with an Aladdin tune.
"Oh!" Patton exclaimed and placed a piece of bacon on a chocolate chip waffle. "Here's sweet and salty!" Virgil looked at it suspiciously but went ahead and tried it, anyway.
"Patton, you're a culinary genius!" He said, savoring it. "It's kind of overwhelming, but it's weirdly delicious," Virgil said, enjoying the flavourful feast.
"I'll put some fun new snacks to try in the fridge for you, kiddo! Take it slow or the flavours get all weird and muddled," Patton said with a big smile and went over to the fridge.
"Thanks, pop!" He said and continued enjoying his breakfast. "Are you super busy later, Ro?" Virgil asked with starry eyes and a big smile. Roman flushed a little.
"I-I can let you know when I'm free," Roman said and cleared his throat. "Why do you ask?"
"I've been informed I'm a monster," Virgil said with a laugh. Patton looked scandalized. "And I intend to win today,"
"You're not a monster!" Patton cried. "I'll fight whoever said that to you," Patton threatened, holding up his fists as if he'd never thrown a real punch in his life. Virgil laughed heartily.
"I'm afraid there's already a line, pops. But it's chill, I am a monster. It doesn't have to be a bad thing," Virgil said and took another bite of his breakfast.
"I'll fight them all if I have to!" Patton declared. Roman rolled his eyes, and Virgil chuckled.
"Sure, here's the first contender," Virgil said and placed his hand on the table. When he raised it up, a tarantula with purple fur appeared. Patton shrieked. "See, I don't know if that's her pet name for me or if she just calls it like it is, but watch out because I haven't milked Beatrice in a while," Beatrice crawled up on Virgil's outstretched arm.
"Virge, put that back!" Roman shouted.
"Sure," He said, petting her body for a moment before sending her back to his room.
"She's a real sweetheart," Roman hissed through his teeth. Pat was still frozen.
"Watch out, Ro, you sound like Deceit," Virgil said with a chuckle and got up and went around to hug Patton gently. Roman sounded upset at being compared to Deceit's disinterest in his pets, but probably realized that was exactly what Deceit would say. Patton held him back for a moment but eased into the hug.
"Sorry, Pops, I forgot how much you hated spiders," Virgil said softly into his ear and rubbed his back. "They listen to me, okay? Mostly, anyway. They'll stay away from you,"
"You scared me so much, kiddo!" Patton said shakily.
"I know, I messed up, I'm sorry, Pat," Virgil said apologetically and held him close.
"How did you forget he was afraid of spiders, Virgil?" Logan asked, placing his paper on the table. Virgil stiffened a little. Shit, how did he forget? Oh. Oh, yeah. That was probably an accidental loss? He remembers now, anyway. He just needed to be careful.
"Um, I'm not fully awake yet. Remus woke me up early," Virgil said, hoping that was enough of an explanation.
"Oh god, what did he do to you?" Roman asked, exasperated. "He does that to me all the time if I try to sleep in," Roman threw his hands in frustration.
"More like what did I do to him. Pro tip: Never wake me up from a deep sleep," Virgil said with a bark of laughter and ruffled Patton's hair. Logan didn't get that blue magnum look, which was a shame.
"You going to be okay, Pat?" Virgil asked softly and gave him a gentle squeeze. Patton looked up, and his eyes were watery. Virgil chuckled and picked up Patton in a swoop and carried him over to the couch. He caught Roman and Logan watching him wide-eyed as he turned around the corner piece. Virgil sat down with Patton in his lap and held him close. He rubbed gentled circles on Patton's back and hummed quietly to him.
"Virgil, you just picked up Patton like he was nothing," Roman said, somewhat incredulously.
"He's not nothing," Virgil kissed Patton's forehead. "He's just light-hearted," Patton giggled and beamed up at him, then snuggled into his chest. He heard groans and bafflement from the table behind him.
"Sorry again, Pat," He said gently and conjured a soft blanket to throw around his shoulders and kissed his forehead again. Patton flushed and buried his head slightly. Virgil grabbed Patton's chin and pulled him up to look Virgil in the eyes. Patton's face was pink, and his eyes were shining.
"It's okay," Patton muttered.
"I mean it Pat, tell me if I'm being a massive jerk okay? I don't always mean to and sometimes I need somebody to care enough to tell me to stop trying to push you guys away," Virgil said softly. He let Patton's face go when it turned beet red and let him hide it. Virgil chuckled quietly. "But I will always be kind of a jerk and you guys will just have to deal with that,"
"I'll fight you," Patton muttered into his chest.
"Me too, Pat," Virgil laughed and rested his chin on Patton who was curled up in his lap. Virgil yawned and laid his head back on the couch, his eyes drooping slightly. "I think I need a nap… you can leave if you want," Virgil said and loosened his grip on Patton to let him get up. Patton shook his head into Virgil's chest. Virgil pulled his hood up, he was keeping this silencing hood from Deceit for sure, and tightened up around Patton again. He summoned a thick pillow behind Patton in case his arms slackened a little and shifted to lean back further to fall asleep.
— * * * —
"I'm not crazy, right? That was weird. That was really weird?" Roman whispered to Logan. "Did you know he was so strong? What was with all the laughing and apologizing?"
"Roman, you've physically fought him on multiple occasions, how would you not know how strong he is?" Logan whispered back.
"We aren't trying to maim each other!" Roman huffed quietly. "We've always held back," Roman whispered quickly. "What about the open and vulnerable communication? He lashes out when he upsets people. Two weeks ago he couldn't look someone in the eye without freaking out, and he held Patton's gaze that whole time. And now that I think about it, other than that one-word story thing, he never laughs loudly like that. He even told a dad joke!" Roman explained in quiet panic and kept shooting glances over at Virgil and Patton on the couch. Logan grunted.
"I have a hypothesis. But I don't have enough data for it to be realized, yet," Logan said quietly with the frustration evident in his voice.
"Care to share with the class, professor?" Roman said impatiently.
"I just said I need more evidence before I can consider it, Roman. Let me know if anything else odd happens when you spend time with him later. Perhaps he is particularly overtired and somewhat delusional and he will have a conniption out when he recalls this morning's events," Logan said with a sigh.