Ah, Tomb Suites. That sounds interesting, doesn't it?
Yeah. Have you guys ever seen The Mummy?
I have. Both versions, actually.
And have you guys seen the Indiana Jones franchise?
Yep. The first one was the best, in my opinion.
It's a shame that Luigi didn't bring any khakis along.
Luigi in khakis? Now that would be a sight!
Oh, yeah!
Great—now I've got the image in my head!
…
True to its name, Tomb Suits was modeled off an ancient Egyptian tomb, with many rugs depicting the artwork of the era festooning the walls. Platters of fruit were stacked on one table, and the room was lit with the glow of torches.
Gooigi stopped Luigi as he moved forward. "Wait," he said. "I smell something."
He stepped onto a triangle in the middle of the room, which depressed. An arrow shot out from each of the four corners, embedding themselves into Gooigi. Calmly, Gooigi pulled out the arrows, the wounds closing almost instantly.
"This place is probably full of traps," said Gooigi. "We'd better keep our eyes and ears open."
"Amen to that," said Luigi.
Modern-day amenities such as lotions and towels were arranged on benches and recliners, reminding our adventurers that this was just a hotel floor with an Egyptian theme. There was even some rug art depicting Luigi, Poltergust and all!
"I don't think it flatters you," mused Gooigi.
Another piece of rug art depicted Luigi being startled by some ghosts.
"Wow—really?" huffed Luigi.
Before he could react further, some Goobs popped out of hiding and actually startled him!
Luigi whirled on the Goobs and stunned them with the Strobulb, swiftly defeating them with an assist from Gooigi. After the two uncovered a gem from inside a snake statue, they vacuumed up the piles of sand in their way and walked through a door to their left.
And they found themselves standing in front of an actual pyramid.
"What is this, Indiana Jones?" asked Gooigi.
"More like a cross between Indiana Jones and The Mummy," said Luigi. "Let's stay alert and be careful of the objects we interact with. We don't wanna accidentally unleash an ancient curse on the people we're trying to save, do we?"
"Nope," said Gooigi.
Luigi and Gooigi plowed through the sand with their vacuums, facing off against a gaggle of Mini Hammers and collecting treasure. Lots and lots and lots of treasure. At one point, Luigi noticed the sand-blowing machines affixed to the walls.
"They really wanna make this authentic," he said, and then he sneezed. "J—s, this reminds me of the Old Clockworks. It was sandy and desert themed and—wow, it's getting kinda warm. Are there sun lamps around here, too?"
"I dunno," said Gooigi. "Is this supposed to be the pool area? Or perhaps a play area for the young ones?"
"Who cares? This whole thing turned out to be a trap, anyway," said Luigi.
The two of them kept exploring, uncovering more gems as well as treasure, using their vacuums' exhaust to fashion piles of sand into footholds. At one point, they were attacked by a Hammer and a group of Mini Goobs, which tacked a significant amount of time onto their exploration. By the time the ghosts were defeated, Gooigi needed some time to regenerate his health, Luigi was bruised and throbbing, and both of their nerves hummed from being tickled so much. However, the former chose not to rest, instead trudging over to the pyramid, where two matching statues of a pharaoh queen stood on either side of a huge snake hieroglyphic. Pulling the "scepter" on the leftmost statue caused the hieroglyphic to slide upward, revealing a door.
"Well," said Luigi as he placed his hand on the doorknob. "Here we go."
He twisted the doorknob, pushed open the door and stepped into a room with a sarcophagus.
"Oh, boy," breathed Luigi.
"Should we…?" asked Gooigi.
"I don't really know. On one hand, there could be another elevator button in that sarcophagus. On the other hand—when the hero of an adventure movie opens a sarcophagus—bad things usually happen."
"An elevator button in a sarcophagus?" Gooigi made a face. "That would be just too easy."
The two looked at each other, and then at the sarcophagus, and then back at each other, and then—
"[Bleep] it," Luigi said finally. "This is one of the times where I have to live dangerously."
He walked briskly over to the sarcophagus, pushing it open to reveal a beautiful pharaoh queen peacefully resting inside. And as soon as Luigi laid eyes on her, he regretted his decision.
"I knew this was a bad idea," he mumbled.
The queen's eyes snapped open, and she turned her head to stare at the man in green.
"Who's there?" she asked in a voice ringing with authority. "Who dares to wake Serpci, daughter of Serpcerset, ruler of the lands of my foremothers and forefathers?"
"Uh—hi," said Luigi. "My name's Luigi, and my friend and I were just leaving."
But Serpci tsk-tsked. "Don't you know your adventure movies, Luigi?" she asked, wagging a finger. "You should know that nothing good ever comes out of opening a sarcophagus! Now you've placed a terrible curse upon yourself and your descendants!"
Luigi went pale. "Oh, no…"
Serpci laughed. "Just kidding," she said brightly. "You think I'm the type of queen who wants to curse people? Come on."
Seductively, she floated out of her sarcophagus and backed Luigi and Gooigi up toward a circular indentation on the floor. "However," she cooed, "I can't let you and your gelatinous companion off with just a slap on the wrist, either—now can I?"
"I'm not made out of gelatin—I'm made of Goo," Gooigi corrected her.
"Oh? Apologies—I just thought you were made of gelatin because of how you jiggle so. As I was saying, there are consequences for awakening a centuries-old Egyptian queen. Which means—the two of you—will be going on a little—detour."
Serpci chanted an incantation, causing the circle Luigi and Gooigi were standing on to drop open, sending the duo plummeting. Luigi screamed the whole way.
"Farewell, dear travelers," Serpci said softly, waving after them.
Luigi and Gooigi landed in a pile of sand, shaken but otherwise unhurt.
"Luigi!" shouted Gooigi, helping his companion up.
"I'm fine—I'm fine," said Luigi as he dusted himself off and spat out a few sand granules.
The Virtual Boo rang.
"God—m it," muttered Luigi as he answered it. "Yello?"
"Luigi, can you hear me? The signal cut out there all of a sudden. What's wrong?"
"Gooigi and I encountered a pharaoh ghost who sent us to the bottom of a pyramid," explained Luigi.
"You fell down a sand pit?! Good Lord!" exclaimed Gadd. "That's a trap common in a pyramid!"
"Like I didn't know that," huffed Luigi.
"You and Gooigi need to find an escape route," Gadd told him. "And be sure to watch out for more traps."
"Will do," said Luigi. "Bye-bye."
Exchanging a determined nod with Gooigi, he began vacuuming his way through the circular sandy pit, searching for anything that could help. The only things he uncovered, however, were treasure—and snakes that jumped out at him when he least expected it!
"Snakes," muttered Luigi as he sucked one such snake into the Poltergust. "Why did it have to be snakes?!"
Eventually, he and Gooigi vacuumed away enough sand to reveal another statue. Pulling down its arm opened a secret passageway, which the duo ran through as sand began pouring into the area.
Next, they had to contend with snake-shaped crossbows shooting volley after volley of arrows at them. Luigi flattened himself against the wall while Gooigi pulled a rope which raised a barrier over the crossbows.
"Thanks, Gooigi," said Luigi, breaking cover and shimmying up a rope ladder.
He and Gooigi were now in a circular, spacious room, with another door some odd feet up.
"Maybe you two can use that door to get back to the surface!" Gadd's voice spoke up.
"But how can we get up there?" asked Gooigi.
His train of thought was interrupted, as was Luigi's, when another sarcophagus lining the walls burst open, a mummy shambling out.
"Holy [bleep]! A mummy?!" Gooigi exclaimed. "We can't fight a mummy with a Poltergust!"
"Maybe we can," said Luigi. "Watch this."
He approached the mummy and used Burst to send them stumbling to the floor. Then, he seized a loose bandage in his vacuum and yanked it away to reveal a Goob on stilts.
"Huh. Never would've thought that," said Gooigi.
Luigi defeated the Goob in the usual way, and then Gooigi heartily joined in as more "mummies" emerged from their hiding places. The pair used Burst to trip them up, yanked away their bandages and then fiercely battled the ghosts, slamming them every which way. In the middle of the fight, a large, Boo-shaped stone ball began rolling around the room, which meant that the two had to avoid being flattened as well as keep an eye out for the ghosts' attacks. Polterpup helped out toward the end, though, using his jaws to yank the bandages off the last two "mummies". Luigi made sure to reward him with some belly rubs once the skirmish was over.
Next, they headed into a small chamber with another one of those statues on it. But as they examined the statue, the door slammed shut behind them, and several gold snake-head statues emerged from the ground, shooting lasers at some chains on the wall. Luigi glanced up to see that those chains were attached to a spiked ceiling! As if things couldn't get any worse around here!
"Quick!" he shouted to Gooigi. "We need to destroy these lasers!"
"How?" asked Gooigi as sand began pouring into the room.
"Follow my lead," said Luigi. "I have a plan!"
As he spoke, he began pushing up mounds of sand against the snake-heads, using them to climb onto the centermost statue, which he deactivated with Burst. Gooigi caught on quickly, and the duo did the same with the other four snake-heads, tangling with more snakes and a Slinker as they sought to escape this latest trap. And with just seconds to spare, they succeeded.
Luigi and Gooigi high-fived before pulling the lever on the statue and walking back into the large room.
It was then that they saw the sand pouring into a large well in a middle of the room, a large stone snake slowly wrapping itself around the well, causing the sand to spill into the large room.
"Hey," realized Luigi. "If we get this room to fill with sand, then we can reach the door up top and get out of here!"
He and Gooigi walked into another chamber, where there was a scale in the center with several small gold statues inside. In front of them was a door with symbols of various animals on it, with a changing symbol in the center panel.
They jumped as another door slammed shut behind them, and another spiked ceiling descended on them.
Luigi cursed.
"Hey—I think I know what we have to do!" said Gooigi.
"What's that?"
"We have to use the gold statues to weigh the scale," said Gooigi. "And see this sundial-like thing? We have to make it point to the symbol that matches the one in the center panel!"
"Sounds plausible," said Luigi. "Let's do it!"
They studied the symbol in the center panel before adjusting the scale with the golden statues so that the sundial pointed at the same symbol. When the panel flipped to reveal a green circle, they knew they'd gotten the correct answer. Luigi and Gooigi had to play two more rounds of this life-or-death matching game before the spiked ceiling stopped descending. After they caught their breath, another lever ascended from the ground, which they pulled before heading back toward the large room.
Unfortunately, they were stopped by a Hammer and several Mini Hammers, and they were only able to proceed after a brief fight.
Another fight awaited them in the huge room, as more "mummies" shambled toward them and two Boo-shaped stone balls intermittently rolled about. And there were not just Goobs dressed as mummies—there were a couple of Slinkers, as well. Gooigi had to help Luigi out with the last Slinker, who'd grabbed hold of the latter.
Once the fight had concluded, the pair entered a third small chamber with a picture of a mountain range painted on one wall. Also on that wall was a green hole with rays around it, painted to look like the sun. They quickly vacuumed up the sand and found a circular glass object, which Luigi fitted into the hole. In response, the wall slid upward, revealing another wall with a painting of a barge on it.
Luigi jumped as the door once again slammed shut behind him, and there was a hiss as purple gas issued from six more holes of different shapes on the wall. Instantly, the man in green began coughing and hacking as the gas attempted to choke the life out of him.
"Gotta—plug those—holes!" he rasped out.
His chest and lungs constricting, Luigi nonetheless vacuumed through the sand in the chamber, coming upon glass objects of various sizes. He launched these objects into the holes with the corresponding shapes, lessening the flow of gas. However, both Gooigi and Polterpup were sent into a desperate frenzy at the sight of Luigi's body heaving as he coughed and choked and gasped for breath, and they weren't about to let him fight his way out by himself. Polterpup frantically dug through the sand until he found more of those objects, and Gooigi launched them in their proper places when he saw Luigi's strength beginning to sap. By the time the last hole was plugged, Luigi's eyes were glazed over, and twin rivulets of blood trickled from his nose.
"No, no, no…" gasped Gooigi as Luigi's knees buckled, catching the man in green in his arms.
"I'm fine," spluttered Luigi. "I just need some…"
He doubled over and coughed, blood sputtering from his lips and onto the floor. Gooigi lifted him off the ground and watched as the wall parted, revealing another lever.
Still holding Luigi, Gooigi walked over and pulled the lever before carrying his flesh-and-blood counterpart out of the chamber.
Luigi took deep breaths of the fresh air, noticing that the room was beginning to fill with sand. "We did it," he said.
"Yes, we did," said Gooigi, taking out a bottle of water and giving it to Luigi.
Luigi drank the entire bottle down in a few gulps before wiping his mouth with his sleeve.
"You think you can walk now?" asked Gooigi.
"Yeah."
"Okeydokey," said Gooigi, setting Luigi down.
The man in green wobbled for a few moments, but then his legs steadied. "What kind of gas was that?" he asked.
"Whatever it is, I don't want it coming near you again," said Gooigi.
As they waited for the flow of sand to take them to the room's upper level, Luigi and Gooigi were assailed by ghosts. First were several Goobs, followed by a few Slinkers and a Hammer. The duo worked together to clear the ghosts out, and then they headed through the door and up the stairs back toward the surface.
The stairs gave a mighty shudder, and Luigi's heart leaped into his throat as sections of the wall thrust toward them. He grabbed Gooigi's hand, and the two of them ran up the rest of the stairs, reaching safety in the nick of time.
There was a thick spiderweb blocking their way, but there was also a source of flame nearby. Directing Gooigi to stay back, Luigi lit a nearby torch and used it to burn through the web.
Now, there was a wall with another mural of him on it, striking a "walk like an Egyptian" pose. Shrugging, Luigi copied the pose, causing the wall to flip around and deposit him back into Serpci's room.
"Now I know how Indy feels," breathed Luigi as he wiped his brow.
It was getting pretty hot, and sweat splotched his shirt. Luigi took the opportunity to unclasp his overalls and pull the shirt off, tossing the garment aside before re-buttoning his coveralls.
Gooigi let out a soft hum as he shifted the Goo on his body to match his companion's appearance.
Luigi let out a breath. "Much better," he sighed.
"Oh, yes, indeed."
Luigi and Gooigi whirled. Serpci floated there, a sultry smile on her lips as she looked them over.
"I guess I was wrong about you," cooed Serpci, approaching Luigi. "Not a lot of people make it out of the pit where I banished you. What's the saying? 'It's hard to keep a good man down'." She laughed. "It's even harder to keep a good-looking man down." Her eyes slid over Luigi's broad shoulders and liberally-muscled arms and upper chest, all of it glowing in the room's warm light. "You've shown me all of the virtues valued by the gods. How would you like to be—my consort?"
"No, thank you," Luigi said evenly. "I'm already spoken for."
"I see," said Serpci. "Come. We'll talk some more outside."
And then she floated out of the room.
Gooigi smirked at Luigi. "Someone has a ghost crushing on them," he said.
"Gooigi…"
"Just sayin'."
Luigi blushed. "Let's just—go after her," he said.
"Works for me," said Gooigi as the two of them followed Serpci.
They walked outside of the pyramid and looked around.
"Where'd she go?" asked Luigi.
"Don't worry—I'm right here," Serpci whispered in Luigi's ear. "Would you like to reconsider my generous offer? Trust me, the perks of being my consort are endless." She lazily floated around Luigi and Gooigi. "I'll even let you have this." She waved an elevator button in front of Luigi's face. "It's the most valuable treasure of all—the treasure you've sought all this time." She blew him a sandy kiss. "What do you say?"
Luigi sneezed and rubbed his eyes. "The answer is still 'no'," he said, brandishing the Poltergust.
Serpci smiled coyly. "Your loss," she said before spinning in place, creating a sand whirl.
When the sand dispersed, Serpci was hidden in a sand mound shaped like her face. Luigi took a deep breath and ran forward, chipping away at the sand mound with his vacuum. As Gooigi joined in, sandy "snakes" generated from the sand mound, lashing out at the two like asps. Eventually, the mound dispersed, and Serpci rematerialized, surrounded by sand snakes. However, Luigi repelled those sand snakes with his exhaust, got in close to Serpci and nailed her with a good Strobulb flash.
"Okay, Serpci," said Luigi as he grabbed her in the suction. "Let me show you how we do things in the 21st century!"
He slammed her into the sandy ground again and again and again, not minding the sand granules kicked up in the struggle, settling onto his skin and hair. Instead, he focused on heaving and slamming, heaving and slamming, maintaining a brisk rhythm and knocking chunks off of his opponent's HP. Eventually, however, Serpci broke free and burrowed back into the sand, the protective mound reforming around her, and the entire ordeal began again.
Occasionally, the sand mound changed forms. One moment, it was shaped like Serpci's face, and the next, it was shaped like a fist that barreled at Luigi and Gooigi. Or, it could be a giant ball that tried to slam down on them, or snakes that swiftly struck at them. But the two adventurers thought on their feet and used all of their vacuums' features to stay alive and stay one step ahead. Sucking up the sand. Using Burst to vault over shockwaves and knock sandy fists off course. Using the exhaust to repel the sand snakes and sand spikes fired at them. And as soon as Serpci was open to an attack, Luigi let the Strobulb rip!
Serpci gave Luigi and Gooigi a good fight. She had the former working up a sweat in no time, the sand granules sticking to his hot skin. His brow was lightly knitted, his mouth was rounded, and his eyes were bright and intense, something the pharaoh queen didn't fail to notice. Sometimes, she'd pause her attacks to admire his flushed and sweaty state, his chest heaving, all of his muscles flexing and stretching as he battled her. And Luigi would take full advantage, stunning her when she was distracted, releasing his breath in deep huffs and grunts as he slammed her into the sand repeatedly.
And with one last slam, Luigi prevailed over Serpci. She fixed him with a seductive smile and blew him one final kiss before folding her arms over her chest, allowing the suction to overcome her.
Luigi exhaled and braced himself for the recoil as the next elevator button shot out of the nozzle, landing in front of the steps leading to the pyramid.
"Thanks for the offer, Serpci," he said, patting the vacuum's apparatus, "but you're way too old for me."
Then, he strode over to the button and picked it up.
"But you're right," he smartly went on as he pocketed the button. "This is the most valuable treasure of all."
He walked out of the room, blinking the sand out of his eyes.
"That was bad—s," said Gooigi. "Taking on a pharaoh ghost—and winning! You're gonna have a story to tell once this is over!"
"True," said Luigi before looking his gooey doppelganger over. "You're jiggling a bit. Is there a Boo lurking around?"
"Looks that way," replied Gooigi, taking Luigi's hand.
The vibrations buzzed through Luigi's palm as Gooigi led him down the hallway toward the elevator. When they paused at a clay jug, the vibrations had increased to urgent pulses which traveled up Luigi's arm and shoulder.
"Here?" asked Luigi.
"Here," replied Gooigi.
Luigi tapped the jug, and the Boo popped out like a jack-in-the-box!
"I'm AnuBoo! Time to tip the scales in my favor!" cackled the Boo.
Gooigi released Luigi's hand long enough to help him subdue AnuBoo. Once the man in green slammed the living daylights out of the Boo and wrestled them into the Poltergust, the gooey ghost hunter slipped his hand back into his pal's.
"Let's check out the next floor," he said.
And so they did.
Please R&R.