Phil entered the apartment and approached cautiously, unsure of how to broach the subject. Last time, it hadn't been taken all that well. He tapped Loki on the shoulder.

"Er… have you got Judah anything for his, er, um… birthday?" he asked.

"Is this payback for those slugs I slipped into your underwear drawer?" Loki said, not looking up from the papers he was reading.

"That was you? Of course that was you. How did you get into my apartment? You know what? Never mind. No, this is not payback. I really want to know."

"Judah's birthday was only a couple of weeks ago."

"It was… aherm… almost a year ago."

Loki looked up now, a look of panic on his face. "A year? Already?"

"Yeah. I know, I know, it goes fast."

Loki jumped to his feet and grabbed Phil by the jacket lapels. He picked him up and held him so that they were eye to eye.

"You swear to me that this is not a prank?" he said, in a deadly voice.

"Hey, that's your bag, not mine," Phil said, a little weakly.

Loki released him, letting him drop none too gently. He sank back into the chair. "Dear ancestors, I cannot live like this."

"What are you going to do about it?" Phil said.

Loki picked up a pen, tapped it on the desk twice, flipped it over, and tapped it twice again. Then he dropped it and stood up again. "I'm going to take Judah home."

"Home? To Asgard, you mean? But I thought you said Odin wouldn't like that."

"Odin can kiss my rosy backside."

"Stop and think about this for a minute," Phil said, trying to calm the agitated god down. "Even if you do take him there, you said he'd still be mortal unless you got Odin's permission to… er… well, 'make him otherwise.' How likely is that to happen?"

"I'll find a way," Loki said. "I've been breaking rules most of my life, I see no reason to stop now."

Phil threw up his hands. "Well. I guess I wish you luck, then."

Loki paused. "You're… not going to try and talk me out of it?"

"No."

"I quite expected you to argue with me."

"I don't do that. I'm aware of the futility," Phil said. "You're a smart god, smarter than anyone I know. I expect you've got this figured out down to the most minute detail. Just… try not to piss Odin off too much, okay? You're walking on thin ice there, and I don't want anything bad to happen to you. For Judah's sake, if nothing else."

"I'll… do my best," Loki said, deflating somewhat. "I can't make any promises. He was angry when Thor brought his sick mortal girlfriend back for treatment. I expect he'll be downright livid when I bring my adopted mortal son home to stay."

"Well… maybe Thor can help you out," Phil suggested. "Maybe he can go back with you, help talk the old man down."

Loki dismissed the idea out of hand – rely on Thor? Preposterous! – but then the thought resettled in his mind and would not be so easily cast off. Whether Odin had ever truly loved him or had only seen him as a potential political advantage, the fact was, he had always treated Thor as though he were just that much better. Having his brother there to add his voice to his own might truly be a big help in calming the old goat down.

"That… is not… the worst idea I have ever heard…" Loki said. "Odin would always do very nearly anything for Thor. If Thor asked Father to let Judah stay, it might sway him after all, though I think it would still be a greater battle to get him to dispense immortality."

"Does Odin actually have the power, himself, to make people immortal?" Phil asked.

"Not as far as I'm aware," Loki said. "No, there is a special… ingredient… in the gardens of Odinhall that holds the blessing of immortality."

"Like an herb of some kind?" Phil said.

"I don't think you have anything like it on Midgard," Loki said. "It's more like a fruit but it's also very like a nut…"

"Oh. So it's like a coconut."

Loki paused and thought, a sour look on his face. "Not exactly. It's not hairy and it's not hollow."

"What's it called?"

"The epli."

"Epli? That's a… weird name. Sounds like something a woman would shave her legs with… or use as an underarm deodorant."

"You do know I do not speak English when I'm in Asgard, right?" Loki said. "Some words don't translate."

"I guess I never thought about it. Your accent is flawless Cambridge-educated British. Which is more than can be said for Thor, actually. I don't really know what's going on there."

"Thor does not have the Dragon Tongue. He's not particularly skilled at foreign languages."

"You've mentioned this Dragon Tongue in the past, but I don't really understand it," Phil said.

"Dragons have the natural ability to speak all languages, being or beast," Loki said. "Due to the nature of godly powers, which often come in complementary forms, so can I. Thus, those of Asgard call me 'Dragon Tongue…' among other less friendly monikers."

"How does that complement your other powers?" Phil asked.

"Well, as a shapeshifter or as an illusionist I can assume the appearance of whatever I so choose," Loki said, with a toss of his hair. "It is certainly useful to be able to communicate with those I am imitating."

"Does Thor have complementary powers?" Phil asked.

"Sort of. His predominant power is the manipulation of lightning strikes, but he can also control rainfall and, with a little extra effort, the wind."

"Can he make a tornado?" Phil asked.

"He never has. He probably could if he exerted himself. Oddly enough, despite having had every advantage and every boost to his ego a young god could possibly have, Thor has a little trouble believing in himself. Either that or he is simply lazy."

"What makes you say that?"

"Father gave Thor Mjolnir as a focus for his powers, to help him control them. Now he believes he cannot call them without it. It's a fine weapon, but as far as his powers go it is only a crutch that he doesn't really need. It is like… a Master sorcerer believing he can only cast magic with a wand in his hand. It is not good that he relies so heavily upon it."

Judah came in from his Earth History class with Jarvis. "Hey, Dad! Hey, Uncle Phil!" he said, dropping his bookbag.

"Hey, kid!" Phil said, waving and smiling. Loki turned toward his son hand plastered a large, rather uncomfortable smile on his own face.

"Hello, Judah. I have good news for you. You know how you asked me to take you to Asgard?"

Judah frowned, cast his eyes down, then looked back up. "Oh yeah. A long time ago."

"Well guess what? We're moving there."

Judah's eyes got huge. "Moving? Like, forever? When?"

"As soon as possible."

"I thought you said your father wouldn't let me even visit."

"Don't worry about that, Judah. It's all arranged," Loki said, grinning broadly enough to show every tooth in his mouth. It was amazing how such a handsome god could have such an ugly grin.

"Aren't you in trouble in Asgard, Dad?" Judah said.

"Trouble is my natural condition, Judah, it won't be any different there than here."

"Uncle Phil won't be there."

"We do not require Agent Coulson."

"Who will remind you about birthdays and holidays and things like that?"

"On Asgard time, I require no reminders," Loki said, brows shadowing his eyes until they were quite dark.

"But I'll miss him."

"You'll make other friends," Loki said, knowing this was probably not true. Judah would stand out more in Asgard than he had, having had the advantage of at least looking more or less like an Asgardian. There would be no hiding Judah's adoption, even if he could be given immortality. Loki was being preeminently selfish, taking the boy to Asgard. It was solely for his own benefit, wasn't it? Because he could not stand to let the boy live out his own natural mortal lifespan?

But Judah was so smart, at least as smart as the average god, probably smarter. He could do so much with an immortal lifespan. Loki could teach him things he would never, ever learn if he only lived to be a mere eighty human years of age or so. Didn't he owe the boy a chance to succeed on that scale?

He sat down in one of the kitchen chairs, hard. He put his head in his hands. "Judah… I don't know what I'm doing. I just know you're growing up faster than I can deal with. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah. I kinda had a feeling," Judah said. "You actually held on longer than I expected, but I suppose it really wasn't that long at all for you."

Such a smart boy. Loki looked up at him in sadness and pride.

"Do you mind very much?" he said.

Judah shrugged. "It's not like I'm much of a part of the mortal world. Mr. Fury has me listed as a casualty of the battle of New York. At least in Asgard, I can be a real-life person, I guess. Maybe I really can make some friends."

Loki smiled. For Judah, anything seemed possible. "Maybe you can."