Oh, Honeykins

Featuring: The Second Hatter and River Song

"Ooh!" the fair haired Time Lady cooed like an excited six year old, immediately skipping across to peer intently, and perhaps a little too closely, at a rather odd looking circular, flat disc sitting within an ornate box, "Ooh, look at you!" she practically cheered, her voice going slightly high pitched in her excitement, "Oh, you are lovely, yes you are, yes you are, you cheeky little thing…" she grinned widely down at the mysterious disc, sounding almost as though she was cooing over a puppy, rather than a…thing.

Max and Alice, the Hatter's long suffering companions, barely even blinked at the Hatter's frankly odd and rather baffling behaviour as they came to stand on either side of her, eyeing the disc with varied expressions. Alice, ever the polite and sweet girl that she was, merely smiled fondly at the Time Lady's antics and shook her head, while her husband, far less polite and even more long suffering then Alice, cast a bored look over the disc before rolling his eyes upwards in exasperation and releasing a long, almost pained sigh through his lips.

"Should I even ask?" he groaned out, closing his eyes briefly, almost as though he was already dreading hearing the answer to his question already. Alice lightly nudged his side, making his eyes snap open to find her giving him a disproving, stern look. The Hatter didn't notice any of this, however, still smiling brightly at the disc, her own slightly distorted reflection mirrored back at her in the smooth, polished golden surface.

"Don't you think it's just lovely?" the Hatter asked them brightly, finally dragging her bright brown eyes off the thing to look between them, first Alice, who gave her a gentle, if slightly strained smile of agreement, and then Max, who didn't even pretend to agree and simply stared back at her with a look caught between pure boredom and disbelief. She blinked slightly, frowning at him, "What's wrong, Max? Do you have a stomach ache…Well, I did tell you not to eat all that ice cream, didn't I?" she shook her head, giving him a disproving, mothering sort of look, glancing pointedly at Alice as Max went to open his mouth with another long suffering sigh. She nudged Alice side, "Didn't I warn him, Alice? I did warn him…" she turned back to waggle a finger at him, not even giving Alice a chance to speak, "But no, what would I know? I'm just…"

"I'm fine, Hatter," Max cut across her, rolling his eyes as she was forced to stop midsentence with a rather unattractive open mouthed expression, "Just…bored, really bored," he stressed when she frowned at him again, looking mildly concerned, "I thought you said this market was supposed to be the funniest place in this galaxy, but so far the only fun thing I've seen was you going into that sneezing fit when you tried sniffing that perform a few stalls back…"

"Oh, come now," she smiled cheerfully, lightly whacking his shoulder, not seeming to notice the slight wince he gave as she obliviously turned her gaze back onto the weird disc she had been cooing over just moments ago, "This place is fun, I mean, just check out this thing!" she waved a hand towards the disc, rather dramatically, too, with a great flourish of her wrist that almost made the humans wince.

The three of them turned their gaze back onto the mystery object, peering at it curiously for a moment, while all around them the market continued to bustle with people moving to and from different stalls. The air smelt thickly of some sort of warm spice that was alien to the human's noses, but it was far from an unpleasant smell, almost similar to sweet paprika, while above their heads, through the domed ceiling that covered the massive market from the elements, the sky was coloured a very deep blue hue, unlike anything either human had ever seen the Earth's sky appear, even on the most lovely hot, summer's day in England.

"Um, Hatter?" Alice began with a slightly bemused smile, giving the Time Lady an apologetic look.

"Yes, Alice, dear?"

"I do hate to have to ask, but…what exactly are we looking at?"

"Well…" she continued to smile widely, her gaze fixed on the object, "It's…it's…" she seemed to search around for the right word, though it seemed to escape her as a deep, slightly flustered expression began to cross her features and her expressive eyebrows drew together, "I mean, it's obviously…" she coughed, clearing her throat uneasily, feeling Max and Alice peering at her as her cheeks grew increasingly warmer, "It must be a…"

Max shook his head, caught between amusement and exasperation, "You don't have a clue, do you?"

"I do so!" she insisted at once, before reaching up to rub the back of her heated neck awkwardly, avoiding their eyes as she felt them fixed steadily on her, "I just…seem to have forgotten".

"Is it really that hard to admit that you don't know, Hatter?"

"Shut up," she muttered, shooting him a dark look that held little emotion behind it, "Regardless of what it might be or might not be," she went on with as much dignity as she could muster, lifting her chin haughtily and turning to regard to disc once more, "It would obviously make for quite a nice paper weight, or maybe even a Frisbee! Ooh, now that's an idea…"

"Hatter, perhaps you should just ask?" Alice suggested with a patient look, nodding her head over towards where the vendor of the stall, an alien who resembled a humanised cat, only with a leather jacket covered in spikes and ginger fur, sat reading a magazine with some sort of alien version of a motorbike just up the table from them.

The Hatter glanced over towards the vendor, who seemed content to ignore them, before shaking her head, "Don't be silly, Alice," she glanced at the young woman standing on her left, giving her an almost disproving look, "He's clearly busy with his reading, I'd hate to disturb him…"

"Well, if you're going to stand around here all day admiring that bit of junk…" Max said with a slightly mock smile towards the Time Lady, who instantly gasped in offence at the word 'Junk,' and reached around her to take Alice's hand, "I suppose you won't mind if we go for a bit of a wonder around, yeah? Meet back up at the TARDIS in, say…two hours time?"

"Hmm…" she narrowed her eyes on them, her sharp, intelligent eyes regarding them both carefully. It was often easy to forget that the Hatter was as clever and sharp as she truly was, given that she tended to act like an excited, endlessly curious child more often than not, but she was capable of having her moments when she showed just how capable she truly was. Much like the Doctor, who liked to play the clown most of the time himself, she was not someone that one should trifle with, and when she had that look in her eyes, it was hard to forget that fact, not that Max or Alice were in any way frightened of her, she was a kitten…but even kittens had claws, "I suppose even you two can't get up to too much trouble in two hours," she said slowly, before she suddenly pointed a stern finger at them, "But if either of you end up getting kidnapped again, I don't want to hear any complaints about how it's all my fault or how I'm a magnet for trouble, like last time. I wasn't the one who got confused for a princess and almost forced to marry that queen…"

"You would have complained, too, if you'd been forced to wear that bloody corset, Hatter!"

"Oh, stop moaning, Max, Alice and I have little sympathy, we've both had our fair share of wearing corsets".

"I'm sure all will be well, Hatter," Alice cut in smoothly, giving the Time Lady a gentle smile as the blonde glanced at her, peering over the top of her slightly to big glasses to examine her intently. She shrugged lightly, turning her smile onto Max, "And, Max, my love, do put that whole affair behind us, please. The Hatter's quite right, you'll receive little sympathy for the corset, I've often thought it terribly unfair that women are forced to wear such things while men need not concern themselves about their physical appearance".

The Hatter flashed Max a bright, slightly teasing grin as he blinked back at Alice, looking rather startled by her not taking his side, "In other words, stop moaning, Maxie," she told him brightly, reaching out to lightly pat his shoulder, making him sigh, "Okay, okay…" she shook her head, taking a small step back from the couple and giving them a mock bow, "I concede to your wishes, my dear friends, go forth and enjoy, do try to avoid getting embroiled in any trouble while you're at it".

"We'll try," Max told her with a mock salute back at her, no doubt in response to her bow, before throwing her one last smile before he and Alice turned to head off into the bustling crowd of the market, disappearing swiftly from sight.

The Time Lady remained there for a moment longer, still feeling a tad wary about letting them go wondering off on their own, not that they hadn't done that plenty of times and been perfectly fine, but she couldn't help feeling protective over the pair. She had grown so incredibly fond of both humans and had been delighted and honoured to have had the chance to watch them fall in love and marry, she knew that her time with them was coming to an end; she could sense it, though it pained her hearts to think of them parting ways. They weren't just her friends, they were something closer to her then that, almost like family. They helped ease her sadness when she allowed herself to think back to her own children and grandchildren, though they couldn't ever replace them, Max and Alice did give her something to care for and protect.

She shook her head, forcibly pulling herself from her thoughts as she glanced back towards the curious disc that had caught her eye, it really was quite nice…though, she honestly had no clue exactly what it was supposed to do or be. Her Frisbee idea still seemed pretty reasonable to her, it looked a little light to be a paper weight, but she did like how it curved. Circles were the best, plus it was shinny, which was just extra brilliant in her eyes, this regeneration did seem to be going through a bit of a phase of loving shinny, circular things at the moment…or was that just a Time Lord thing? She actually had to stop to consider that idea, her eyes drifting away from the curious the object; in fact, she was so caught up in her own thoughts that she barely even realised what it was that she was actually seeing. A couple of stalls down from the one she currently stood at was a fairly tall woman, dressed in a olive green tunic style dress with fitted, dark brown trousers and boots, but it was her wild mop of curly, dirt blonde hair that really made her stand out, even amongst the bustling crowd. The Hatter eyed her for a second, wondering why she had caught her eye, when she noticed the woman slipping a small, smooth, ruby-like rock into her pocket before turning to casually stride off into the busy crowds of the market.

The Hatter frowned faintly and automatically moved to follow her, easily keeping track of the thief and her wild curls. Why was she even following her? The thought did cross her mind, for half a second, before she instantly dismissed it and only increased her pace more, dodging between people as she moved. Obviously, the woman had no idea just what she had stolen, after all, it wasn't anything of any value, though it would be priceless to the poor person she had stolen it from, the rock itself might look expensive and like an Earth ruby, but it would be impossible to sale anywhere in this galaxy and unlikely to fetch much of a price anywhere else she might try to sell. But more importantly, the rock was important, special; she couldn't just turn a blind eye to someone stealing it, so follow the mystery woman she did. But somehow, while she had been momentarily distracted by having to move aside for a cart loaded up with boxes, the woman had disappeared completely from view, right before the mouth of an alleyway. She debated with herself for only a moment, before moving to stride down the alleyway, hopeful that it might prove to be a short cut of sorts that the thief might have taken. It was reckless, perhaps, but that was practically the Hatter's middle name, though it was still somewhat shocking to her when she suddenly felt someone come up from behind her and press the tip of what was unmistakably a weapon into her lower back, instantly causing the Time Lady to still and inwardly curse.

"Don't bother crying for help," the woman's oddly light voice warned her, their situation going completely unnoticed amongst the busy crowed just outside the mouth of the alley, "You'll be dead before you could open your mouth".

"I've never been much of a fan of crying for help," the Hatter remarked calmly, her tone just as light and even close to being considered jovial, though her eyes were narrowed before her, "And death? Been there, done that, I can't say it was the most pleasant experience, but I suppose death never is pleasant, is it? Otherwise everyone would be doing it, I suppose…well, I say everyone, those who are lucky enough to be able to cheat it, anyway, I'm the Hatter, by the way. Pleasure to meet you, though the gun is a bit of a pity, I must say…"

That was when the most curious thing happened…the woman dropped her weapon upon hearing the Time Lady's name and almost seemed to jump back from her, as though the Hatter had burnt her. The Hatter, though confused by the thief's reaction, didn't hesitate to whirl around on the toe of her red Converses and pluck the gun out of the air before it could clatter onto the dirty ground, eyeing it with disproving eyes as she held it aloft in her right hand. She lifted her gaze up to meet the woman's wide, clear blue eyes that stared straight back at the Time Lady with a look in them that made the Hatter frown faintly. She almost looked horrified and ashamed, though there was something else there, a flicker of…affection? Hope? Curiosity? It was difficult to discern properly between the other emotions, before her expression swiftly grew guarded and an almost teasing, playful smirk spread across her pink lips.

"Nice catch," the woman nodded towards the gun, suddenly completely confident.

"Good genetics," the Hatter dismissed with narrowed eyes still steadily fixed on her, observing her closely. She felt oddly as though the woman before her knew her, there was something like recognition in her gaze that shouldn't be there, it was unsettling to say the least, "Who are you?"

Her expression only seemed to grow even more guarded, though the smirk remained. It was her eyes, the Time Lady decided, that really said how the woman was feeling, and what they told her was that the question had hurt her somehow, though she covered it up well, there was still a flicker of pain there that made little sense to the Time Lady. It made the Hatter feel sympathetic, even though she had just threatened her life mere moments before.

"You're so young…" the woman breathed, peering intently into the slightly taller, fair haired woman's face, her eyes roaming her face. A look close to wonder crossed her features as she edged closer to the Hatter, who remained firmly in place, though her eyes narrowed very slightly with caution, "Your eyes…you look so light, so free…" she shook her head slowly, her lips morphing into a sad little smile, "None of it has happened to you yet, has it? You're before everything…"

The Hatter did tense at that and her dark eyes grew slightly cooler, her mind whirling with the woman's words, the way that she was peering intently into her face, a look of wonder and sadness filling her features, and then there was the fact that this woman clearly knew her, clearly knew her future, and whatever it was that she knew, it wasn't pleasant. Every instinct inside her told her to walk away right now, she was a Time Lady, she knew the Rules of Time, she would not risk learning anything more about her future, even one tiny seemingly innocent word could prove terrible and that was not a risk she was willing to take, ironic, considering how much she usually loved risking herself. But not when it came to the future, that was one risk even she wouldn't dare meddle with. She should walk away; she must walk away…so why did her feet remain planted to the ground?

"You know me," she said slowly, carefully, her voice soft and her gaze sharp, "You know me, from the future…"

The woman took a small step back at that, though her eyes still remained fixed on the Time Lady, "Melody," she told her randomly, making the Hatter frown briefly, slightly caught off guard by the sudden change back to the first question she had asked, "I'm Melody'.

"Lovely name, Melody, but if you truly do know me, then you ought to also know that we ought not to be speaking right now. You know me from the future, I can only presume that we will know one another well, from your reaction towards me, which is all the more reason for why this conversation should end now…" she laughed suddenly, the sound so abrupt that it actually made the Hatter stop midsentence and blink at her, blankly for a moment, before a slightly exasperated expression filled her face, "Do you find this funny?"

"You don't?" she grinned back at her, full of cheek and teasing eyes.

"For once, no, I don't. This is a matter of preserving the timelines, my personal time line, which I happen to take very seriously, even if my future self might not".

"Dear Lord," Melody murmured, still smiling, though her laughter had died down at least. She was eyeing the Hatter again with the same look of wonder again, as though she couldn't quite believe what she was witnessing. Once again, the Hatter found herself unsettled, shifting slightly uncomfortably and reaching up to push her glasses up her nose. The woman shook her head slowly, "It really is you, you're so…different but similar at the same time…"

The Hatter immediately held up a hand to silence her, squeezing her eyes shut, almost looking pained as she released a hiss through her lips, "Stop it!" she exclaimed, her eyes snapping open to glare back at Melody, who looked far from concerned, "Just…stop speaking, you can't just go blabbing on about my future like that, you could be doing unknown damage!"

"Well, she's certainly a lot more fun than this version of you," she smirked, ignoring the angry look the Time Lady shot her.

"Why does no one ever listen to me?" the Time Lady moaned, throwing Melody another withering glare, before reaching up to rub her forehead, feeling a headache coming on. It was about the same size as the woman standing before here, too…, "Just once, I'd love to have someone just listen to what I say without feeling the need to forever question or disregard it, I don't just go sprouting words of wisdom because I enjoy the sound of my own voice, you know?"

"Oh, I'm pretty sure there's one person who listens to you, Hatter," Melody remark slyly, flashing her another smile full of cheek. In any other situation, the Hatter might have admired her cheekiness, but not right now.

She pointed a firm finger at her, eyes narrowing warningly, "Don't you dare say another word," she ordered her sternly, her voice suddenly razor sharp, "Now, you are going to walk away right now and we'll forget all about this unpleasant moment. I wish I could say it was lovely to meet you, but I wouldn't wish to lie to someone that is evidently a possible friend in the future…"

"What about my gun?"

"I'll be keeping it," she replied firmly, tightening her grip on the gun with a pointed look, making rather a show of slipping it inside her dress pocket, before hastily wiping her hands against the black fabric as though they had been dirtied just by handling the gun.

Melody didn't look upset, nor the slightest bit surprised, though she did lift an eyebrow, "You can't just confiscate my belongings, Hatter," she said with something close to fondness in her tone.

The Hatter fixed her with a sharp look, "Of course I can," she said, as though there shouldn't be any reason to even question her authority over the matter, "I'm the Hatter, and I don't like guns. Besides, you're liable to go shooting someone with it…you very nearly did shoot me," she gave her a pointed look at that, recalling the sensation of the barrel of the gun pressing into her lower back just a few moments before hand.

"You were tailing me," she said with an attempt at a light shrug, though the Hatter could easily see the flicker of regret in her eyes, her expression growing guarded once more, "I couldn't be sure why you were following me".

"Are you followed often?" the Time Lady questioned in mild concern and alarm.

Something flickered in her gaze, something close to anger and grief, before it was gone, "Spoilers," she replied instead of answering, making the Hatter press her lips together in annoyance.

She sighed slightly, "Look, I wasn't following you to startle you; I merely wished to try to persuade you to return the thing that you stole to its rightful owner".

Melody frowned at that, "You noticed that?" she rolled her eyes, looking away from her, "Of course you did, it's you".

"Quite," she nodded, ignoring the last part, since it only complicated matters more, "But I would be perfectly willing to forget all about it and this encounter, should you return the stone," she stared at Melody, who sighed slightly under her gaze and reached into her jacket pocket, pulling out the stone that sat neatly within the palm of her hand, glittering slightly in the sunlight streaming in through the dome ceiling above their heads. The Time Lady, however, made no move to take it, meeting Melody's eyes with a slightly softer, patient gaze, "You have no idea what it is, do you?"

"No".

"Why did you steal it if you didn't even know what it was?"

She hesitated very slightly, looking away from the Hatter, "It was supposed to be a funny gift," she told her, returning her eyes to the Hatter's, though she still seemed to refuse to meet her eyes directly, "My Godparent's just had a baby, a little girl. I wanted to see how they would react when I gave them something I'd stolen, before giving them the actual present," she smiled faintly, her gaze growing slightly distant with thought, "My Godfather would probably splutter and accuse my Godmother of encouraging me, while my Godmother will probably try to act all stern, but secretly find my cheek amusing," her eyes snapped back to the Hatter, who had been watching her with something close to disbelief, "It was only a joke, surely you can understand that, of all people?"

"You stole from someone just to get a rise out of your Godparents?"

She shrugged, smiling fondly, "We have a slightly…unusual relationship".

"Evidently," the Hatter shook her head slowly, eyeing Melody with a look that clearly said that she still wasn't sure if she really believed her, but she wasn't going to question it, either. She glanced down at the red stone in her palm, "It's called a Soul Stone in this part of the Universe," she explained, inclining her head towards the stone, "More specifically, the indigenous people of this planet call them that, they're considered to be sacred and utterly priceless".

"Why?"

"Because…what you are holding right now is literally someone's soul…" she smiled, slightly sadly, and Melody blinked back at her. Her smile brightened very slightly at the expression on the curly haired woman's face, "Or that's how the indigenous people view it to be. They believe that when a loved one dies, they can place that person's soul into a vessel, specifically a precious stone, and it will forever remain with them, guiding and protecting them. They typically keep the stone on their person at all times, so that their loved one is always with them, walking alongside them".

Melody swallowed and looked down at the stone in her hand, a look of guilt and shame filling her face, "I didn't know," she said softly, her thumb very lightly sweeping across the surface of the stone, which gave a very light, reddish glow. She looked back up to the Hatter, who watched her with a sympathetic look.

"Yes, I can see that," she nodded, giving her a gentle smile, "And that's okay, Melody, it's okay to make mistakes, making mistakes is how we learn and become better, just as long as you always try to fix those mistakes and learn from them".

She met her eyes firmly, closing her hand over the stone, "I'll make sure it's returned," she reassured the Time Lady, determination filling her eyes.

The Hatter smiled at her, looking almost proud with her, even though she had no idea who the woman standing before truly was, nor what an important role she would come to play in her life, she was just proud to see someone truly wishing to make amends for a mistake they had made, one that she no doubt Melody would not soon repeat again.

"I have no doubt about that," she told her, reaching out to lightly pat Melody's arm…Melody tensed very slightly at the contact, her eyes snapping to the Time Lady, but the Hatter barely seemed to notice as she peered passed her, off down the alleyway towards the main market street, "And now, I fear, that it is time for us to part…for now," she looked back to Melody, giving her a warm smile, "I haven't a clue who you are, but I do look forward to it, hopefully our next meeting will be met with less near violence".

She didn't wait for the other woman to speak, instead she moved to slip passed Melody, quite ready to head back to the market and perhaps track down her companions once more, though the two hours wasn't yet up, she found she had rather lost her taste for the market today. However, she had barely taken four steps before Melody spoke from behind her.

"I think you're forgetting something, Hatter".

She frowned, confused, "Forgetting…?" she shook her head, turning back around to face her, "What could I possibly be forgetting…?"

She didn't even have a chance to finish speaking, before a flash of bright white light filled her field of vision and the Time Lady was knocked unconscious. Melody, or rather River, dashed forward to catch the Hatter before she could fully hit the floor, easing her gently down so that the Time Lady was slump against the alley wall, beside several old packing creates and boxes that had been dumped in the alleyway out of the way. River sighed as she knelt beside the painfully young version of the Hatter who would one day become the woman she knew, the one who had lost and gained so much in the centuries to come. This version of the Hatter had only had the tiniest taste of grief; she could see it in her eyes, so young and hopeful and free of the burden that the older Hatter carried in her ancient gaze.

"Me, Hatter, you're forgetting me," she said to the unconscious Time Lady, reaching for the hat that had fallen to the ground during the Hatter's collapse, placing it safely in her lap. She peered into the young, unfamiliar face and sighed sadly, "You'll forget all about ever having met me today, because you must. It's too soon for you to know me, and since it's you, I can't risk you figuring something out before you're meant to," she hesitated before rising to press a kiss to the top of her head, before standing fully and, without looking back, turning and walking away, back into the market without pausing to wonder how her Hatter and the Doctor, for that matter, might feel about this should she ever tell them.

….

"Hatter!" a familiar, concerned, male voice was calling to her, "Hatter? Hatter…?"

She groaned in mild annoyance at the interruption of her pleasant dream, or had it been a memory? She had been back on Gallifrey and her children had been young again, still all in school but home for a short break. She snuggled deeper into a warm, firm thing, flashes of the memories whizzing through her mind, her children laughing and smiling while they had sat together in the middle of one of the fields that had surrounded their home, the Hatter playfully chasing them around the field until falling in a heap from the warmth of the day and the running, her children wasting little time in promptly throwing themselves right on top of her, giggling and trying to squirm away as she would suddenly grab them and tickle them. It was such an idyllic memory, it might as well have been a dream now, her hearts ached just from recalling it after all these centuries. She wished she could replay it over and over again in a never ending loop, that she could simply remain in the memory forever, never reawakening to have to return to reality were her relationship with her children couldn't be more different from that memory.

"Hatter…" another voice spoke, soft and feminie, "Hatter, can you hear me? Hatter…"

The Hatter reluctantly opened her eyes, wincing against the dull light that hit her face as the slightly muffled noise of the market returned to her, reminding her almost like a slap just where and when she was. Her children were back on Gallifrey, all grown up and with lives and families of their own now, and she was far, far away from them, a different woman from the one in the memory. Time had moved on and so had she, though reluctantly. She blinked slowly and Alice's face came into focus, peering down at her, while Max, she realised, was actually supporting her, her head resting in his lap, his own worried face looking down at her upside down. She closed her eyes again, grimacing.

"Ow," she mumbled, her voice slightly horse from lack of use, "My head's pounding…would someone tell the drummer to shut up already?"

"Oh, thank God," Alice sighed in relief, just as the Time Lady opened her eyes again, finding her companions exchanging a look full of relief and happiness, "You're okay".

"Of course I'm okay," the Hatter smiled faintly up at them, her eyes lightening with tired amusement, "Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"Maybe because we found you unconscious in an alien alley?" Max pointed out, looking down at her with a deep, troubled frown. He had obviously been rather rattled by whatever had happened to her, the Time Lady realised as she took in his upside down features. He shook his head, eyeing her with slightly wide eyes, "And there you were, worried about something happening to us? I mean, what happened to you, Hatter?"

"I…don't quite know," she said slowly, her voice growing slightly softer as she spoke, puzzlement filling her features. She moved to sit up from his lap, doing so with surprising ease and little dizziness, her dark eye quickly peering around the otherwise empty, ordinary alley, searching her memories for an explanation, though she found none, save for the obvious. She looked back to Max and Alice, peering intently between them, "Someone's wiped my memories".

"So you have no memory from the past three hours?" Alice questioned, watching her worriedly.

"It would seem not…how curious and horribly inconvenient. I mean, what if I was supposed to do something important and now I've forgotten all about it? Or what if I met someone really interesting, but now I don't even remember them? How rude…"

"Hatter," Max sighed warily, cutting her off, "Can we please just focus on figuring out who would have wiped your memories? Are you positive you don't remember anything?"

She frowned slightly at him for interrupting her mid rant, reaching out to use the brick wall behind her to help herself climb back onto her own feet, "Yea, of course I'm sure I…" she trailed off, freezing suddenly, just as she had been straightening her dress. Her gaze was fixed on the opposite wall, meaning that she completely failed to miss the tense look exchanged between her companions as they both quickly rose, too, "Huh," she said slowly, if a little distractedly, "Now how did that get in there?"

She slipped her hand inside her dress pocket and pulled, much to her companions shock, a silver, alien-looking gun from her pocket, holding it aloft in her hand as they all looked down at it in confusion and surprise. There was a bright pink, neon sticky note pinned to the handle and she used her other hand to pluck the note off the gun, lifting it up to her gaze.

"'Sorry for the headache, Honeykins,'" she read aloud for Max and Alice to hear, scrunching her face up in distaste at the nickname, "'You can keep the gun, I promise to be a good girl, though, not too good. Love, M'. Followed by a series of kisses…Why would anyone call me 'Honeykins?' Just…why?" she shook her head, looking blankly up to her companions.

"You don't think it was the Master, do you?" Alice asked her quickly, her eyes wide with alarm at the very thought.

The Hatter laughed at that, "Oh, this really isn't his style," she said confidently, shaking her head with an amused smile at the thought, "Besides, if it was him, he wouldn't waste the chance to lord it over me how he knows something I don't, and why would he leave me with a weapon? Anyway, it's a woman's handwriting, so unless he's gone and regenerated into a woman recently, I sincerely doubt it, Alice, dear".

"So…who, then?" Max eyed her curiously, crossing his arms across his chest.

She looked back down at the gun and the note, before finally shrugging, "I haven't a clue," she told them, sounding far from concerned, though she was quite curious to know herself, "But I have the funniest feeling it'll all make sense one day. That's the funny thing about being a time traveller; everything has a way of making sense eventually".

"So you're not even going to figure it out?"

"One day, I'm sure I will, and when I do I'll be quite certain to lecture them about how impolite it was, not to mention illegal, but right now…I'm rather hungry".

And with that, the Hatter flashed her companions a brilliant smile and stuffed the gun and note back inside her pocket, before turning on her heel to leave the alley. Max and Alice lingered for a moment longer, watching her go with matching expression of bafflement at her seemingly complete disregard for who might have wiped her memory, before moving to follow after her. Even after all this time of travelling with her, the Hatter truly did never cease to surprise them.

Thank you so much to the person who suggested this one shot ages ago, I am so sorry that I forgot to take note of your penname, if you did use one, and I couldn't remember which story or chapter you suggested I do this one-shot in, but I hope that if you are reading this now and do remember writing it, that you enjoyed it. I'm not completely happy with how I wrote River in this, I'll admit, I did try to write her as being quite young and new to travelling space, but it's also obviously after 'The Christening of River Song,' and around 'First and Last Night,' since Astra is back with the Doctor and the Hatter. Anyway, I hope that you're all staying safe and well, best wishes. Please review :)