"I could walk a mile in your shoes, but I already know they're just as uncomfortable as mine. Let's walk next to each other instead..."
― Lynda Meyers
"You're her, you are really her?" Harley stammered out, still in shock from the reveal.
"Harley, are you okay?" Kara asked softly.
Harley closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "I'm fine, just give me a moment. Sorry, this is not what I expected."
Kara looked out over the yard, watching Ruby and the dogs, while Lena sat staring over the lake. Concentrating, she focused her hearing, listening for Lena's heartbeat. Sam recognized the look, and smirked, Kara's powers were coming back. Finally, Kara caught the sound she was looking for, Lena's heart, hammering in her chest, the sound caused her to reach for Sam's hand. She looked into Kara's eyes, seeing fresh pain behind the brilliant blue.
"She's here alone, Sami. I didn't mean for her to be by herself, outnumbered," Kara gasped.
"She made her choices!" Alex sneered as she walked down the stairs and headed to the front of the house, her tennis shoes slapping the grass as she stomped out of everyone's sight. Kara watched sadly as she stomped off, and was about to follow her sister when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
Kelly stopped Kara and shook her head, then she looked at Harley, "I'm sorry, this whole situation has been very difficult on her, she's-her anger is justified, and she isn't very good at hiding it." Then she smiled at Kara and rushed down the stairs, chasing her girlfriend.
"Sami?" Kara, still frowning, turned to face Harley, "can we take the dogs for a walk, maybe ask Lena if she…"
Harley smiled as her eyes met Supergirl's, and she nodded her head, agreeing with the idea and watching Supergirl release a breath.
"You might want to change, sweetheart." Sam whispered into her ear, "and don't forget a sweater."
Kara hugged Sam tightly, kissing her on the cheek, "Thank you, Sami." Then she headed into the house and walked up the stairs to her room.
Sam leaned on the porch railing and watched Kara all the way to the top of the stairs. She heard Harley snicker and turned her brown eyes to the doctor.
"That girl is something special, Samantha." Harley stated, "does she know how she feels about you?"
Running her fingers through her brown hair, Sam smiled, "No-maybe-I don't know. She has been through so much, I don't want to rush." She stopped as she heard Ruby laugh at the dogs, looking over her shoulder. "She has bounced back so much since she came home, she's amazing." Then she pushed herself off the railing, glancing at Eliza, who had been very silent through all of this.
Eliza smiled at the dark-haired woman in front of her. "She has always been able to do that, it's her real superpower."
Harley and Sam both stopped, looking at Eliza with curious expressions on their faces.
"She isn't just her powers. Kara is a symbol, a symbol of hope. Sometimes she just needs to be reminded that she isn't all alone in this." Eliza looked at Sam and continued, "Over two years Sam, you think she kept you a secret from us for all this time because you are just a friend. That girl upstairs, she isn't as oblivious as everyone thinks. You mean something to her Sam, the nickname, the cooking, running to you when she needed someone...she may embody hope, but you Sam, you embody something to her as well."
"But Lena?" Sam questioned. Looking to Harley, a small frown on her face.
Eliza glanced at Harley, almost as if she was daring her to stop the conversation, "Lena Luthor is...special to Kara. Kara feels as if for some reason she has to protect her, to keep her safe. Maybe it was love, maybe it was friendship, maybe, just maybe Sam, it was Kara's empathy, her ability to instill hope in someone who didn't have any."
"Lena has always been a lost soul, trying to prove herself. Kara saw something in her, something special that everyone else missed." Sam spoke quietly, once again looking out into the yard. "She latched onto Lena's darkness, her fear of falling like the rest of her family, and she rescued her. Kara gave Lena a piece of herself, a piece of that light that makes Kara who she is."
She hadn't heard Eliza get up from her chair, but she felt the woman's embrace and she smiled as she melted into Eliza's arms. "Maybe you need to explain it to Alex just like that Sam."
"Here she comes," Sam whispered as she and Eliza broke apart.
Kara came through the backdoor, wearing jeans and the same button-down from her reveal, and Sam's brain short-circuited for just a moment as Kara smiled and pulled her hair up in a ponytail. She was about to slide her glasses on, when Sam reached forward and shook her head, "Sweetheart, you don't need those."
Kara smiled, then folded her glasses and set them on the table. Then she slid on her sweater. "Ready, Sami?"
Kara and Sam made their way down to the table by the water where Lena was seated. The black-haired genius was so lost in her thoughts she never noticed their approach until Kara spoke.
"Lena?" Kara asked gently.
Lena jumped in her seat, her heart racing so fast that Kara had to grip Sam's hand tightly to control her rising panic. "Oh god, Kara, I'm sorry."
Through gritted teeth, Kara harshly responded, "Not you, hearing is back, take a breath and relax, please."
"Oh, sorry," Lena said as she took a deep breath, then another trying to get her heart under control.
Kara rolled her eyes at Lena's apology and Sam snickered at the image. "What's so funny?" She asked.
"Your eyeroll needs work." Sam giggled, "and the pout isn't going to fix that." Then she felt herself blush as Kara's heart started to beat a little faster and her eyes sparkled.
Lena felt a small smile on her lips as she watched the interaction, then it disappeared as Kara turned towards her and asked, "would you and Morgana care to join us on a walk with Ozi?"
Lena looked shocked, "are you sure?"
"Yes, maybe we can talk?" Kara asked.
"Just us? And the dogs?" Lena verified.
"You, me, Sami, and the dogs. We could take Ruby? If you want." Kara smiled warmly.
Lena nodded, afraid to speak.
"Ruby," Sam called out softly, "Let's go for a walk."
Ruby walked up with the dogs following her. "Usual route, Kara?"
Lena was surprised 'when had that happened?' she thought to herself.
The group headed out, Alex watching from around the corner of the house as they disappeared into the woods. "Alex, honey, she has Sam with her," Kelly spoke softly, gently tugging Alex's face towards hers. She saw the pain in Alex's eyes and spoke again, "nothing is going to happen to her, Sam and Ruby won't let anything harm her. You know that, right?"
Alex nodded, closing her eyes to mask the pain that was so obvious. "I can't do it, no matter how hard I try, I can't see past Kara in that cage."
Pulling her girlfriend into a hug, "Hey, it's okay. Nobody, not even Kara, no one is asking you to forgive her." Feeling Alex tense under her touch, she almost released her, then she felt Alex relax, resting her head on top of her own.
"She was so scared, she was so alone." Alex sniffled, "I've never seen her eyes not shine. It's like she-her spirit had been snuffed out, Kels."
Kelly didn't say a word, this had been building for weeks. She maintained her silence, merely squeezing a little tighter.
"I would have killed her if Kara hadn't stopped me, one bullet, that's all it would have taken." Alex whispered, "and I wanted to, I wanted her dead. I wanted the light from her eyes extinguished just like she had done to…"
Alex slid down to her knees, feeling like the weight of the world was resting on her shoulders. "Go ahead honey, get it out, I'm here," Kelly said quietly, tears forming in her own eyes.
"In the hallway, that day I attacked her, she-she stopped fighting back." Then Alex admitted the truth, "I couldn't do it, Kels, I couldn't protect Kara by hurting Lena. I had to trust her, I had to let her fix my little sister because I couldn't."
The tears started, and Alex didn't try to stop them or wipe them away, she just slid next to Kelly, their backs against the cold brick foundation of the house and cried, letting her anger and grief at what had happened puddle in the mud between her knees.
Eliza peeked around the corner, checking on her oldest daughter, listening to her tears. A few slid down her cheeks as well, hearing the pain that Alex was bearing. She slid her head back just in time.
After what seemed like an eternity, Alex stopped crying, and leaned her head on Kelly's shoulder, "The worst part of all this, is that even knowing she helped Kara, I still hate her, Kels. I hate that woman…"
Eliza winced at those words. She had put a lot of pressure on Alex to make sure that Kara was protected and now she was paying a high price for that request.
Kelly kissed the red hair resting on her shoulder and shook in silent anger at how she felt at this particular moment. She leaned her head against Alex's and felt for her hand. As their fingers intertwined, she felt the shaking start again as Alex released more tears and hopefully, more of her anger.
Meanwhile, in the woods by Eliza's…
The four had been walking for about fifteen minutes when they came to the bench by the lake. Kara looked at Sam and smiled, silently asking for a few minutes.
Sam nodded, then smiled as Kara whispered, "not too far, please."
Taking Lena's elbow in her hand, Kara led her towards the bench her mom and Alex had built so many years ago and sat down, patting the seat beside her. Lena sat nervously beside her, her frazzled nerves obvious to anyone who knew her, and the woman beside her probably knew her better than anyone else in the world.
"Kara?" Lena asked, her voice shaking.
"Lena," Kara paused, reaching for her glasses. She shook her fist as she realized they weren't there, "Lena, I'm sorry."
Lena looked confused, her eyes locking on Kara's.
Kara sighed deeply, "I'm sorry for everything. I should have told you sooner. I should have had the same faith in our friendship that you did. I'm sorry I listened to other people. I'm sorry I was Supergirl to everyone else but failed at being your friend and Supergirl at the same time. I hate this feeling of helplessness. You didn't deserve this Lena, none of it." Kara stared out at the lake, taking a calming breath.
"Kara?" Lena asked again.
"Lena, I was a coward, I…" Kara squeezed her eyes closed, feeling a familiar heat building up behind her eyes. She took a deep breath, concentrating, causing the heat to dissipate. When she opened them, Lena noticed the flash of orange. "Sorry, where was I?"
"Something about Supergirl being a coward, then your eyes flashed orange." Lena tried to smile.
"What I'm trying to say, Lena is that I'm to blame for what hap-" she was cut off by Lena's glare.
"No, Kara, enough of you taking the blame for this. I made my own choices, my own decisions." Lena frowned, looking Kara straight in the eyes, "I chose not to tell you I knew, I chose to cling to betrayal. I decided that years of friendship and caring were nothing compared to how angry I could justify myself feeling because you didn't tell me your secret." She rolled her eyes and continued, "Alex was right, it was your secret, you are allowed to share it with who you want. I shouldn't have done what I did to you, Kara."
It was Kara's turn to be speechless, "Lena?"
"Kara, let's just agree that we both could have done things differently. I think we are past apologies. Deal?"
"There's one more thing Lena, I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye before I left last week." Kara smiled.
"Can we start over?" Lena asked, a small smile forming on her lips.
Kara stood, her hand outstretched, "we can't start over Lena, but we can work on rebuilding our friendship. My name is Kara Danvers, Kara Zor-El and I'm Supergirl."
"Hello, Ms. Danvers, I'm Lena Luthor, it's a pleasure."
The two women shook hands as Sam looked on smiling. They didn't hug or embrace in any way, but their friendship was on it's way to being mended. She walked up to the two women, "You two feel better now?"
Both nodded, and Lena spoke up, "I think she has something to show you."
Sam turned toward Kara and saw a tiny bit of orange flash in her eyes. Kara's grin said it all, her powers were coming back, ahead of schedule. She was bouncing on her heels as she called Ruby over.
"Rubes, remember what I taught you the other night," Kara smiled.
"You mean my heat vision?" Ruby asked.
"Pick a target." Kara laughed. Before she could turn her head, Ruby had four leaves lined up. "Alright, Kara, each one, light the tip on fire."
Kara took a deep breath, she hadn't used any of her powers in almost two months, and her vision had always been the most erratic, the hardest to control.
"Should she be doing this, Sam?" Lena asked, slightly panicked.
"Lena, she needs this. Just like she needed to talk to you." Sam answered, never taking her eyes off Kara.
Kara closed her eyes, concentrating, feeling the heat behind her eyes, she focused on the tip of the first leaf and tried to control the lasers shooting from her eyes, watching dejectedly as the first leaf burst into flames. "Dammit," she whispered under her breath.
Ruby stepped beside her, "Remember, Kara, focus, and control. It's not about power, it's all about control."
Smiling, Kara reached down and squeezed Ruby's fingers, closing her eyes and once again feeling the pleasant feeling of her powers behind her eyelids. Opening her eyes, they flashed a brilliant orange and she was rewarded as the tip of the leaf burst into a small flame.
"Yes!" Ruby exclaimed as she watched the leaf turn to ash slowly as the flame spread.
Kara moved slightly, lining up the last two leaves, concentrating the laser across both tips, smiling as a flame caught on the tip of each.
She and Ruby high fived and Lena walked over and congratulated her. As Sam walked up, Kara threw herself into the other woman's arms. "By Rao, that felt good, Sami."
Sam was so overwhelmed by the hug, she simply slid her eyes closed and breathed in the familiar scent of vanilla and cinnamon that always seemed to follow the wonderful blonde in her arms. 'Just kiss her already,' she thought to herself.
"We have to get you practicing next, Sami," Kara beamed, snuggling as close as possible.
"Are you cold?" Sam asked, suddenly worried.
"Not anymore." Resting her whole body against Sam's, "you're warm."
Sam looked to the heavens, releasing a breath, and smiling, the look was as blinding as the sun shining through the trees. "Let's head back, it's getting late and I'm sure Harley would like to get a little bit of her session in."
"Ozi, c'mon girl, let's head home," Kara called. The little puppy was at her side in an instant. Then she grasped Sam's hand and they started walking home.
Behind them, Ruby looked at them, shrugged her shoulders, and whispered, "Yeah, we are coming too." Two distinct voices reached her ears, letting her know that she had been heard.
Morgana raced ahead to catch up with Ozi, as Ruby grabbed Lena by the hand and they started following the blond and brunette in front of them.
The small group and two dogs arrived back at the house about twenty minutes later. Kara noticed Kelly and Alex down at the lake and squeezed Sam's hand, nodding her head towards them. Sam looked and nodded back, releasing Kara's hand. She, Ruby, and Lena, along with Morgana headed to the house.
Reaching the table, Kara caught Kelly's eyes, asking a silent question, not wanting to interrupt her, and Alex. Kelly answered with a bright smile, nodding her head and kissing Alex on the cheek, whispering in her ear. Ozi wondered under the table, laying her head on her paws, and closing her eyes.
Alex turned to Kara and smiled, "Hey sis, sor…oomph!" She started, then felt Kara's arms wrap around her, pulling her up into a hug.
"Alex, please stop apologizing for how you feel about her," Kara spoke softly, avoiding using Lena's name. "I'm not asking you to forgive her, but stop beating yourself up over it. I'm not going to stop being your sister or love you any less because of your feelings over this whole-ordeal."
"Thank you, Kar," Alex said, squeezing her sister back. Then she looked Kara in the eyes and noticed a slight flash. "Kara?"
"It's coming back, my vision, it's coming back, Alex." Kara's grin was infectious and both Alex and Kelly started to smile.
"Ahead of schedule, guess bringing you home was the best thing we could have ever done for you." Alex laughed. "Have you tested it?"
"On leaves, I didn't want to overdo it," Kara admitted.
"Remember when we were grounded for flying? Do you remember what you did to Jeremiah's golf balls?" Alex smirked.
Kara grinned, "Got any?"
"Hold on." Alex ran towards the shed behind the house.
Kelly stood confused, "What the hell is she talking about?"
Kara blushed, "The first time Eliza and Jeremiah caught us flying, they kind of-grounded us. So to get even, Alex snuck down into the shed and stole his golf balls, and I kind of melted them all."
"You? You melted?" Kelly grinned, biting her lips, trying not to laugh. "You were being a brat because you were literally grounded."
"Well, wait, it was Alex's idea." Kara pouted, then snorted through her nose, "it is funny though, isn't it?" Ozi stuck her head out from under the table, looked up at her mistress, and decided everything was okay and crawled back under the table.
Alex returned a few moments later and stopped, confused as Kara and Kelly stood in front of her giggling like a couple of school girls. They finally stopped when Alex asked, "Are you two done?"
Both women stood up straight, biting their lips, trying to resist laughing more. Alex lifted her eyebrow at the two of them. Kelly broke first as Kara snorted through her nose once more, and all three women surrendered to a fit of giggles.
Sam heard the laughter from the house and stepped out on the porch, looking down at the three women laughing and smiling with each other. She turned to head back in when she heard a giggling whisper, "You-you cou-could come down and haha, join us, haha."
Her hand almost reached the doorknob as she felt a blush rise to her cheeks. Then she turned and calmly made her way down to the three. "What is so funny?"
Alex straightened first, "just an old memory." Then she pointed at Kara, "one of the few times, Supergirl here got grounded."
Kelly snorted, "Literally, she got grounded for flying." Then she sat down and started laughing again.
Kara tried to look innocent, which caused Sam to snicker. "Not you too, Sami."
Sam tried really hard not to, but then Kara pouted and Sam couldn't contain it any longer, laughing uncontrollably while Alex took one look at her sister and lost it completely.
Ruby followed the sound of laughter and found the four women sitting at the table, laughing and giggling amongst themselves as Ozi sat staring at them. "Are all of you okay?" she asked.
Her mom recovered first, "Yes baby, I think we all needed this."
Alex snorted, "Oh god, that felt so good."
Kelly leaned her head on Alex's shoulder, "Feel better, honey?" She got a hearty head shake from her redhead.
"We were recalling my early days before I turned to the light side of the force," Kara stated earnestly, as her puppy hopped up beside her, and Kara started stroking her white fur absentmindedly.
Alex took a deep breath, then blew it out, "are you ready to try this?"
Kara nodded enthusiastically. Then she looked at Sam and Ruby.
"Where were Harley and Lena?" Alex asked.
"They were in the front room, talking to grand-Eliza," Ruby answered.
Kara clapped her hands together, "Family practice."
Ruby and Sam looked perplexed as Kara turned to look at them. "Practice for what?"
"Control, and for you two, a little flight," Kara answered.
"Okay," Sam said, completely confused.
"Alex is going to throw golf balls out over the lake, each one of us has to attempt to hit the target with our heat vision. If we miss, one of you two has to retrieve it before it hits the lake, and bring it back to shore," Kara explained.
"I haven't used my heat vision," Sam admitted.
"Guess you will be chasing more golf balls than me, mom." Ruby smiled.
"Okay, Alex, whenever you are ready, Sam's have to be high arcs, okay?" Kara hugged her sister.
"No problem, Kar," Alex smiled from inside the hug.
"Ruby, if I miss you have to retrieve okay?" Kara requested, then she squatted down, "Miss Ozi, go sit with Aunt Kelly, okay?"
"C'mere, girl," Kelly patted her legs, and Ozi trotted over and settled in her lap.
"Sami, I need you to concentrate for a second okay, think about the heat, picture it building behind your eyes," Kara whispered.
Sam closed her eyes, and Kara smiled as Ruby did the same thing.
"Can you feel it? It is kind of like the sun shining through your eyelids." Kara said quietly.
Sam and Ruby both nodded. Ruby felt a calmness fall over her as she slowly let the power rise, then she pulled it back so that it was just buzzing in the back of her head.
Sam was having more trouble. The heat was powerful and frightening and she felt the urge to just release it. "Kara," Sam's panicked voice whispered.
Kara didn't hesitate, she stepped behind Sam, and put her hands on the brown-haired woman's shoulders. "Sami," she whispered, "it's okay. I know it's scary, but we are all right here with you. This is you, it's not Reign, it's okay, I promise."
Sam's erratic breathing started to calm down. Her pounding heart started to slow down. She took a deep breath, her body shaking as she drew it in.
Kara slid her hands down, grasping Sam's, "Open your eyes, release a quick burst, then pull back okay, it's not easy, but I'm right here, and I promise, I'm not going anywhere."
Sam's shuddered at those words, a slight smile finding itself on her face. Slowly, she opened her eyes, releasing a quick, one-second burst of blue light. Then she relaxed, feeling the power die behind her eyes.
"Good job, momma," Ruby smiled.
Sam turned to face Kara, a look of calm on her face, "thank you, Kara."
Kara saw the flash of blue in Sam's brown eyes, then the gold flecks that seemed to shine whenever she was happy. Kara smiled as she shivered, her eyes moving to Sam's lips, then shaking her head slightly, she looked back into Sam's eyes, "any-anytime, Sami."
Alex looked at Ruby, at Kelly, then all three women rolled their eyes. Ozi even added a little bark to the whole scene.
"Okay, Kar, you first!" Alex called.
"Ready," Kara responded.
Alex let loose the golf ball, it rose in a fast arc, and just as it started to descend, Kara released a quick burst of her heat vision, the ball disintegrated in mid-air.
Both Ruby and Sam stood open-mouthed as the ashes of the golf ball floated down onto the calm surface of the lake.
"Wow!" Ruby exclaimed, "You rock, Kara."
Kara grinned, "your turn, Rubes."
Ruby turned serious and watched Alex's hand as she threw the ball. Her eyes followed the ball, and she released her heat vision just as the ball began to fall towards the water. She missed and watched as the ball began to plummet. Then she heard Kara shout, "Now!" At the command she shot towards the ball, catching it just before it plunged into the lake. She returned to shore seconds later, holding the white target in her hand. She politely handed it Alex, who looked at her and smiled.
"You'll get it next time Rubes, Kara's had a lot more practice, and she still misses," Alex laughed.
"Hey!" Kara cried, "I don't miss that often."
"Uh-Huh." Alex nodded, smirking in Ruby's direction.
Ruby looked at her Auntie A and got a wink. 'Uh oh,' she thought.
"Sam, your turn," Alex said. "Let me know when you are ready."
Sam concentrated, feeling the heat rise and nodded. The ball left Alex's hand in a high arc over the lake. Sam watched, waiting. Just as the white object started to fall, she let loose a short burst and watched as the blue beam shot into the sky and struck her target, reducing it to ash.
"That's my-good job, Sami," Kara blushed as she smiled at Sam.
Sam beamed at the praise. Then she blew out a breath and relaxed, 'this could be fun.'
Alex coughed, "Kara," she almost sang. "Your turn." Then she turned towards the lake and released three golf balls into the air.
Kara watched, then gasped at Alex's trick. Focusing, she took out the first before it started its downward spiral. She second-guessed herself and misjudged the shot on the next one. The third target was destroyed forty feet over the water. Ruby raced out and caught the second one before it struck the lake. She flew to shore and landed behind Alex, smiling at Kara, "Guess Auntie A got you on that one."
"By the end of the session, young lady, you will chase two," Kara glared.
Alex snorted, then stopped as Ruby whispered into her ear, "I could dunk you in the lake, Auntie A."
"You wouldn't dare?" Alex questioned.
"Wouldn't I?" Ruby smiled, looking frighteningly like a very young Kara Danvers.
Kelly burst out laughing at the look on Alex's face. "Sorry, honey. God, I wish I had my phone, that picture right there would be my background."
"Hey, you are supposed to love me?" Alex questioned.
"Very much. I love you very much, but I'm not getting between you and my adopted niece, not when the prize is you in a wet t-shirt."
"Ewwww!" Ruby grimaced, covering her ears.
As all the adults laughed at Ruby's discomfort, Alex leaned in and kissed Kelly. "I love you too," she whispered softly.
Taking Alex's face in both hands, Kelly made sure that Alex knew exactly how much love there was behind her words from seconds before.
Kara grasped Sam's fingers as she watched her sister and Kelly, a feeling of happiness coming over her. "I want that," she whispered out loud.
Sam's breath caught in her throat at those words, glancing down at the long fingers enveloping hers. 'Maybe someday, Kara Zor-El,' she thought.
Alex stood up from kissing Kelly, looking a little dazed, "Your turn, Rubes."
Harley pulled the letters Lena had written during her homework assignment, and Eliza stood, excusing herself from the living room, closing the doors behind her. Lena sat down in one of the chairs, looking very uncomfortable. Harley scanned the letters, setting down the ones addressed to Sam and Eliza. Then she slowly read the one to Alex first then the one addressed to Kara.
A Letter to Alex
Alexandra,
I know you will never forgive me for what I did to Kara, and I don't blame you. If I was in your place and snuffed out the sun, I wouldn't be able to forgive either. It was never my intention to hurt her like I did, and I will regret it for the rest of my life. We were never friends but at least when we worked together, we were a good team and I will miss that about us. Please, don't ever stop protecting her, Alex, she is such a gentle soul, one of the few I have ever had the privilege to know and love. Never forget who she is either, not like you could, not like I did, she needs to always be Kara, you and Sam, Eliza and Kelly and Ruby, all of you together, you need to help her find her sunshine again, Alex, please.
Sorry, I had to pause for a moment, Dr. Quinzel said this would happen. She said this therapy is like spilling your emotions onto the paper, I guess she is right because my tears certainly won't stop. She also said that I needed to be better about letting those emotions show. I want you to know, Alex, that in my way, I did care about you, and I do love Kara. And before you freak out, I don't think I deserve her, not her love, but if possible, and perhaps with your blessings, maybe one day, I hope she and I could be friends again. I know you don't want to hear that right now, but I have to be honest, with you and myself. I fucked up, I know that now, and I will never forget the fear in her eyes when she looked at me. I did that, I snuffed out the sun.
I'm so sorry, Alexandra.
All my regret,
Lena Luthor
Eliza's Living Room
After reading the letter she handed it to Lena. Who looked at the words on the paper, her nerves raw and frazzled as she read what she had written.
"Alex dislikes you a great deal, Lena?" Harley questioned.
Lena nodded, "It was almost always like that. We were like oil and water. Plus my brother and Superman." Lena rested her elbow on the armrest and swept her well-manicured fingers through her black mane, taking a deep breath. "She was right, I became just like him. Her reasons for Kara not telling me, I lived up to all of them."
"She was right, and she was wrong, Lena," Harley stated. "I'm not defending whatever it was that you did to Kara, but you reacted as you have been raised. Someone threatened the cocoon you wrap your emotions in, and you defend yourself." Harley steepled her fingers and rested her chin, "This armor that you wear, the name of your family, it doesn't define you, Lena. You define yourself. You were mentally abused, and this has shaped your outlook on life and it's become your retreat."
Lena sat listening, enraptured by Harley's word.
"How did you treat Alex?" Harley asked.
"I'm sorry, I don't understand," Lena answered, confused.
"Alex is important to Kara, correct?" Harley questioned.
"Probably the most important person in her life," Lena answered.
"While you were on your walk, Eliza and I had an interesting conversation." Harley smiled, "do you know why Kara became Supergirl?"
Lena shook her head, "She saved that plane in National City, all those lives."
"No, Kara saved that plane, not for all those people, she did it for a very selfish reason," Harley stated plainly.
Lena looked confused, then, like the sun rising over the ocean, a thought came to her and her eyes widened, "Oh, my God, Alex was on that plane. Kara stopped that crash because she would have lost her sister."
"They are sisters as deeply as any two people who are not related by blood can be, Lena," Harley explained. "Alex is protective of Kara and Supergirl because they are two parts of who her sister is. She takes responsibility for Kara's choice, and you are probably not the only person she has ever stopped Kara from telling."
Lena sat with her mouth open, shock and pain evident in her eyes, "I treated her like the help like she was below me and Supergirl. I never realized."
"This is an assumption on my part Lena, but it seems that your relationship with Kara also caused distance between them. As the two of you grew closer, Alex and Kara started to spend less time together. You threatened her feeling of self-worth, her family," Harley said, putting emphasis on the last word.
"If I had known," Lena cried.
Harley interjected, "you have no idea how you would have reacted, Lena. It's the past, and you cannot look at the past clearly through glasses that have seen the present."
Lena choked on her next words, "I owe her such an apology."
"I would advise against that, Lena, at least until Alex is done with her period of mourning," Harley instructed.
"Will she ever forgive me?" Lena asked.
Harley answered, "perhaps with time, and support from her family, yes. Alexandra is a strong, stubborn, and protective woman. She is also intelligent and she must have seen something in you. So, it is my professional opinion that she will eventually forgive you."
Lena leaned back, secretly hoping that the day would come soon. After everything that had gone on, she truly regretted the pain she had caused the redhead.
Lena sat back, thinking about what Harley had said, and her earlier encounter with Kara, while Harley read the letter she had written Kara.
A Letter to Kara
Kara,
This is the hardest thing I have ever done, other than turning my back on you at the Fortress. What I have done to you, my Sunshine, is horrible, and I know you are scared and feel helpless and I am so sorry, Kara. I forgot who you are, that you are not Supergirl, you are Kara, and I should have remembered that I always thought you were too perfect to be human, but you ended up being more human than me.
You have to get better darling, you just have to, the world needs Kara as she was, please never forget that, yes you have all those powers, but underneath all of that you represent hope in a way that no other heroes can.
I know you remember that first day you came to visit, with your cousin, you know you took my breath away, not because you are beautiful, but because you listened to me, you took me seriously, even if no one else did. You believed in me and you gave me the hope to believe in myself. You chipped away at my armor and once you were in, you were all in, you gave me love and comfort, you taught me how to love, even if I never said it, I love you. I don't deserve you, Kara, and I know you will argue, but you need someone who can accept you as Kara and Supergirl. Whoever it is, they have to make sure they only ever see, Kara. Supergirl is an idea, she is a symbol for the whole world, that they are protected and cared for, but Kara, you are more than that, you are friendship and game night, you are a person that would welcome a little girl from a horrible home into your family, and accept her without ever once trying to change her.
I hope as you move forward in your life, you can remember how good we were to one another, I hope that my bad judgment, my mistakes will not ruin our chance of maybe one day restoring at least our friendship. As much as I regret losing your love, I will miss your friendship, even more, you were good for me, more than you know.
I have a little secret for you, although Sam may have spilled it by now. The house across the road from your mom now belongs to Sam and Ruby. You are probably screaming with joy right now, so calm down a bit. Sam has also been given a job that will allow her to work from home, once again, calm down, you need Ruby and Sam in your life, and they need you, especially Ruby, she needs you to teach her and nurture her. Sam needs you as well, let her lean on you, your experience, your abilities, she needs to learn to control them, and she needs the same choice you had, whether to become a superhero or not.
This letter was supposed to be about letting go of raw emotion, so I could start healing, but I keep seeing that fear in your eyes, Kara, when you saw me at the fortress, and that image will haunt me forever. I am so sorry that I did that to you because no matter what, I never meant to hurt you like that, ever.
Sorry, I had to take a break, Dr. Quinzel said to let my tears flow onto the paper, so you would know I speak from the heart. But you know that, anyway, don't you? You always did. No matter what I said or did, you always knew my heart.
I understand a little better why you didn't tell me, what you, Sam, and Alex all said makes more sense now, why you were so scared that you would lose me. Instead of losing me, I drove you away. You didn't deserve that, and I don't deserve you, Kara. I still wish to be part of your life, maybe someday, we could try to be friends again.
Kara, I missed the signs of how you felt about me, Alex told me the day that I freed you from the fortress that you loved me. It frightened me, because deep down, I know I love you as well. I'm not sure if you need to hear this from me, or if I need to say it for myself, but I do love you, Kara, but our relationship would never be the same for us at this point, it really would not be good for either one of us. I think that is why I was so sure you would betray me; I knew how I felt without really knowing, and to defend myself from it, from you, I retreated into my normal boxes and pushed you away.
It has been amazing getting to know you these past four years, and I know everyone is always saying they wouldn't change a thing, but they are always so wrong, I would try to change a little for you, to let you in, and to say those three little words that scared me so much. I will always have a place in my heart for you, my dearest friend, even if I failed you in the end, but please, Kara, try to remember the good, don't forget the bad, but always keep in mind how good we were together.
I'm sure by now you are crying, Alex probably hates me even more, but lean on your family and get well, my darling Kara.
With love always,
Lena.
Harley read the letter twice and went to hand it to Lena. Shaking her head, Lena pulled a worn copy of the letter from her purse, where it was tucked in her wallet folded neatly around a picture of her and Kara. Lena smiled weakly, "I wrote it and couldn't stand to not have a copy, to remind me…" She thought there would be tears, that she would scream, but after her conversation earlier with Kara, she felt better about their relationship. Things would never be the same, but they would be friends again.
"Why do you carry that, Lena?" Harley questioned.
"It reminds me of what I did, how badly my anger and feelings of betrayal could hurt someone I claim to care about." Then Lena paused, and whispered, "and to remind myself how it feels to lose something I love."
"And after your conversation with her today?" Harley quizzed.
"Kara and I will be friends again. We have both tried to take responsibility for our actions. We decided that we were both to blame," Lena looked over at Harley.
Harley smiled, it seemed that Kara Danvers would have made a hell of a psychologist, and Supergirl was everything the world thought she was. Paragon of Hope, Harley scribbled on her notes.
"Kara makes sure I am protected, taken care of, and most of all, safe." Lena smiled to herself, "Even after everything I did to her, she never lost faith in me."
"How does that make you feel, Lena?" Harley asked.
"Worthy," was the only word that came out of Lena's mouth.
"Are you in love with Kara Danvers?" Harley asked directly.
"I think I am." Lena looked at the floor as she answered, "I think I always will be, a little bit. Kara and I, we can't-our future is a friendship. I know how abusive relationships work, Kara is still scared of me, of what I did. I can't imagine a relationship where if I lose my temper my partner retreats, runs because she is scared."
Harley looked at Lena, sadness in her eyes, "Lena, it kills me to ask this, but what happened, why did Supergirl have to step away?"
Lena spent twenty-five minutes recalling the events of the last four months and another twenty bringing Harley up to speed on what she had done. Throughout that time, Harley interrupted a few times to make sure she understood certain points, but for the most part, she was quiet, nodding, and taking notes.
"All of that led us to where we are right now," Lena finished.
Harley sat in silence for a few moments, then she let out a long breath and looked at her patient, "where do you stand now, Lena?"
"I'd like to say everything is fine, that I am ready to move on from this, but I know better," Lena frowned. "Recovering from everything the Luthors did to me, how Lex manipulated me, my view of Kara's betrayal and trapping and abandoning her. This will take years for all of us to work out."
"Are you ready to move forward, Lena, really ready?" Harley's tone turned serious.
"Yes, yes, I am. I'm tired of living like this, Harley." Lena smiled a little.
"Then the hard work begins." Harley smiled brightly, "We will get you there, Lena."
"Woof," Morgana seemed to agree, as she curled up on the chair next to her mistress, causing Lena to smile and she bent awkwardly to hug the dog.
Out by the lake…
"Okay, Rubes, last two." Kara smiled.
Ruby frowned, this was the third time she was going to try to shoot down two of the golf balls at the same time. Kara walked up to her, taking her hands, "You can do this, Ruby, I promise, you can do this. Focus"
The teenage Kryptonian closed her eyes feeling the power grow behind her eyes, then she pulled back, opening her eyes. Instead of flashing orange, Ruby's eyes glowed a bright blue like her mom's. "Ready, Auntie A," she smiled.
Alex turned and threw the two white golf balls up and over the lake.
Ruby watched them and time seemed to slow down. Kelly stood up to watch the small white targets, Alex held her breath while Sam and Kara's hands found each other, gripping tight.
The first ball started to drop and this time Ruby ignored it, catching the second one just before it started down. The ball disintegrated as it was struck by the blue beam. Then she focused on the downward motion of her other target and fired ahead of it about twelve inches, holding her own breath as the beam struck the white orb and it burst into flames. The ashes settled onto the surface of the lake as the adults hooped and cheered.
Everyone was spinning and hugging Ruby, and then the whole world seemed to quiet around her as Kara pulled her into a hug, "Great job, Rubes. I knew you could do it."
"Thank you, Kara." Ruby sniffled into her shoulder. "Thanks for teaching me, thanks for being here. I love you so much."
Kara felt tears fall down her face at Ruby's admission, "I love you too, Ruby. I couldn't love you more if you were my own."
The two continued to embrace as everyone headed into the house, Ozi leading the way.
Once in the house, Eliza announced that tonight would be a simple dinner of soup and sandwiches.
Harley and Lena came out of the Living Room and heard the announcement.
"We'll pass, Eliza," Lena answered, "We'll grab something on the road."
"Are you sure?" Eliza asked.
"Yes, Dr. Danvers." Harley answered, as she moved forward to shake hands, "we both have jobs to do tomorrow." Then Harley moved throughout the room saying goodbye to everyone.
Kara caught Harley in a hug, "take care of her, please."
"I will, Kara, she has a ways to go, as do you. Thank you for talking to her today, and putting another fear to rest." Harley looked Kara directly in the eyes, "make sure you get well too."
Kara blushed and hugged the doctor one more time, "I will."
Alex walked up to Lena and held out her hand, "Get well, Ms. Luthor."
Lena stood, shocked, "Th-Thank you."
"You saved her," Alex whispered, looking over her shoulder at Kara. "I can't say thank you enough for that." Then she was gone.
Kara smiled at the conversation and pulled Sam towards the door. While Ozi said goodbye to Morgana, Kara did the same with Lena.
"I'll email you later this week so we can play again." Kara smiled.
"Thank you, Kara, for everything today." Lena was tense.
"Lena, I'm glad I could help, it's what friends do." Kara's smile got wider.
"Oh, that reminds me, I'll send the contract via email to Sam, your code got through to both app stores, so you can start selling," Lena spoke in her business tone.
"Oh, wow, really." Kara stuttered.
"Yes, now we have to hit the road." Lena smiled.
Sam hugged Lena again, and just as she was about to step off the porch, Kara grasped her hands, "Goodbye, Lena. Safe travels." Then they shook and released each other's hands.
Lena stepped off the porch and loaded Morgana into the car, she started the engine and started to drive away, as they reached the end of the road, Harley heard Lena talking.
"Thank you, Supergirl."