Puffgirl1952 the 2nd: no problem, and I totally get it. I do the same thing, take small breaks from my writing to read some of the ones that I've been in anticipation of.
LoveInTheBattleField: thanks.
Princesakarlita411: perhaps…wait and see.
Joanne Frances Tiano Cajilig: yes mamoru is finally showing and recognizing that he doesn't have to care about that as he previously was. Perhaps…perhaps not. Yes the Wiseman's influence or what it did will be brought up to. And yes Chib Usa is jealous and you'll get to see a bit of that reasoning to. I'm glad that reading Kenji's interactions was something to showcase how their relationship is.
AimlesslyGera: lol to be honest I've never heard of that before, but I do remember seeing in countless movies and t.v. shows with the same aspects so it fit.
karseneau1: thanks and I wanted to show them being not just senshi but being normal to. They have their civilian lives as well as senshi lives and I wanted people to see that for once one wasn't dove bombing the other one. Their civilian lives do tend to get scattered and messed up by their senshi lives so I wanted this one to be a bit senshi free…while still being senshi.
slvrphoenx: yeah I realized we never really got to see them connecting like that in the anime and what little we did see was more of flashbacks from Usagi that lasted barely a few moments, and that wasn't till later on in the series, or rather come to think of it, it was in one of the movies. So I wanted to show that they were taking the time to get to know each other on another level that they both previously kept to themselves and were now opening up to each other on since they never really had the chance to do it before. Thinking on it by the time they met, made their discovers, memories came back and by the time they were getting to date that's when Chibi usa dropped in, they never had a chance to have talks like this. At least none that they gave any indication on. As for the Chibi Usa conversation, he knows better at this point what their future daughter is like so he's not even going to bother trying. Its pointless and he's more disappointed in their future daughter than in her corner on things now. And yeah Usagi needed to stand up for him, at least in that sense so that she can express to him that what he wants isn't going to be what she wants. A little strike of independence.
phillynz: one would think but in this case there's reason why not.
Yin - Yang M: oh yeah, me to.
Rjzero00: yeah that conversation wasn't easy I'll admit. I wanted both parties to speak to her and to be a divide and conquer type of team while Chibi Usa still expressed herself just a bit, not like emotionally to much but her reasons so that- well you'll see. As for Luna, her reasons might be feeling a bit mixed up on the suitor front but she is working to be more understanding of Usagi's reasons and what she's doing with her issues. That is true but as we saw in the anime, not speaking for what wasn't shown, but for what we did see they didn't start to talk about past memories none moon or senshi related till later on in the series. At least in here its before those events. Even then those conversations they had were off screen and we only got a glimpse of them in Usagi's flashback memories. As for the bakery bit, that was more of a promise she made to her younger self BEFORE she met the girls. Besides who says a wedding cant have more than one cake? If a bride can have two dresses then why not two cakes? Thanks.
InuKaglover4ev22: yeah Luna is seeing it now and is accepting things as they are. As for the bowling alley part, I was actually remembering the last time I was in one for my sisters birthday party, so it was funny to describe it since the pins were pretty loud from my memory. You don't forget that sound. Lol lots of fun though. And yeah the older folks even though there's only a brief mention of them, served their purpose. Lol as for sending her back, I actually asked my sister what she thought of that, huge sailor moon fan herself, and even though she knows Chibi Usa can be a huge pain in the ass brat she actually likes her cause she sees her as a mini usagi. Which I know was the goal but Usagi definitely isn't a huge brat that has anger or jealousy issues so I don't always agree with her on it, but anyways she couldn't see that happening so I figured out something else to do that I hope will shock everyone.
11 reviews that's nice. Now we are winding down towards the end and there is a couple perhaps, more twists left so let me know what you think. Also let me know about the next story idea, its either going to be a third and final installment to the vampire story OR, inspired from another set of drabbles here, a story where Usagi has to save evil prince Endymion via seduction type of story. If I can, I might even be able to work it as a prequel to this one…not sure yet, you let me know what you think. Please read and review!
Breaking point ch.29
Mamoru POV
I was happy. More than just a little bit to. I finally was doing what was needed to make this right in our relationship. We both were. She was putting in the effort as I was. I for one was relieved she wasn't throwing my issues or using my past wrong doings against me. She wasn't that type of person, not to those she loved or cared about, but it didn't mean she couldn't do it so I was glad she wasn't.
We ended up having a fun time together and I was finally getting past some of my issues. It felt freeing to NOT care about how others viewed us in our relationship. I hadn't realized how it would feel till I pushed it to the side and let us be us for a change. The second date had gone so well that the proof of it was currently raging in the shower as I took a nice cold one. The water hitting me hard.
Like tiny icicles as I grit my teeth a bit from its coldness. I had already washed up a bit when I just decided to stay in and force away the raging erection I was currently sporting. However, it was doing hardly any work at all to alleviate me from it as I tried to NOT jerk off to the simple kiss, we had outside her parent's house just half an hour ago. It was such a simple kiss to. We had definitely had much more passionate kisses before that, so I was trying to figure out why that was making me as hard as I currently was.
I mean I had kissed places on her that had her blushing from the intense arousal of it. Hell I had my tongue so deeply in her more times than I care to count, happily so since she tasted so divine, that she came screaming my name loud enough to make me grin and my neighbors complain as I had my head between her spread legs. Just remembering those thoughts only served to fuel the fire as I gave in.
"Fuck it." I muttered as I started to stroke myself. Remembering the feel of her body pressed up against mine. I closed my eyes as not even the cold from the shower could stop the blood from wanting to pump into that particular organ that was nowhere near soft. It felt like my body was on fire as I curled my thumb up over the head and imagined it was her lips like so many times before as her tongue would do the most sinful things to my body as I did to hers many times over in our passion.
Between that one and the surprising one that happened when she scored that strike, I was jerking off harder than usual. Such simple kisses shouldn't have made me react this way, but it had been so long for us both that it had taken ALL of my restraint to NOT pull her back towards the car this evening and drive off to my place to finish off the kiss. I could feel that while her body was ready for me, and so was her heart, her mind wasn't there just yet.
I could sense it that she was looking conflicted and a bit torn. It had been hard as hell to walk away but I also didn't want to deal with the wrath of her father either. Not that I couldn't handle him, but I'd rather not HAVE to. The last thing I wanted to do was to put up walls instead of bridges when I was working to get back with her. I was trying to get into his good graces, not fall completely out of them. So here I stood now, recalling the memory of her lips on mine as I stroked him.
Even the memory of how that old couple reacted to seeing us kiss didn't stop the hormonal need I had. I had almost let their seeing us dissuade me from kissing her to. I recall perfectly how Usage had even sensed a shred of reluctance on my end and nearly pulled away, so I swiftly ended that and told myself not to care anymore. I pulled her in closer and kissed her to her utter and pleased shock.
She was so happy. I could feel it as well as see it in the sparkle of her eyes as she tried to keep it from getting the better of her. Besides her body's reaction told me she had definitely enjoyed my lips on hers again. Her body fit so snugly into my own that I couldn't help but slowly re-memorize what contours of her body I could that wouldn't be too much even for a kiss. It was sad that I HAD to do that, but I missed her form pressed up against me so much that I hadn't realized it till she hugged me as she did.
She was carefree again. She was happy and not worried about how I'd react. It spoke a lot about how I used to be around her. I pulled her out of being so carefree with her affections with me that I ended up missing so much with her. I hadn't meant to, but it still happened. I was definitely going to make sure that I NEVER let that happen again. After who want to be in a cold shower and STILL hard?!
I know Usage hadn't noticed it but as we walked out, but I had sent a 'I don't give a shit what you think' look towards the older couple. They turned their heads in a 'so inappropriate' manner as they promptly ignored us the rest of the time we were there. Usagi had been right and so had many others. By that one action alone we had advanced further than I thought we could have on this date of ours.
By telling myself to stop caring about how the outside world viewed us and showing just a little bit of public display, and by expressing myself instead of bottling it up, I managed to get further along in getting her back. I'm still sure that second kiss wouldn't have happened had it NOT been for getting her more relaxed with me after the first one. It still made me feel so warmly towards her.
I mean sure we talked some more and about necessary things to. It felt good to talk to her about childhood stuff, not just hers but mine to. I RARELY talked about my childhood from the orphanage to anyone. Even Motoki knew very little about that time in my life, yet knowing that Usagi had opened up to me about something in her past gave me the push I needed to express some of the less than stellar things that happened to me as well.
I hadn't realized how relieving it would be to talk about that stuff and tell it to her. I didn't feel like I was on display or like she was pitying me, I felt like I was talking to a loved one about similar issues and I was greeted with reception rather than distain. I had gotten used to distain over the years growing up that sometimes it's easy to forget that you can receive reception and a positive look on things and NOT be looked down upon.
I should have known when I met Usagi that she'd accept me for everything, and she basically did but that night had been her showing me that whether the world accepts you for you or not, for the actions you make or who you're with all that matters is how it makes you feel about yourself, and about the people you have in your life. It seems I finally got tired of what people cared about with her and it not only showed but let us get closer together.
I mean it felt good to get some of it out and to be able to talk to her about it. I wished I had opened up to her more about stuff earlier, like way earlier, but she had been content to letting me go at my own pace of expressing what I was comfortable with. She didn't push. I felt like I could talk to her more now about that stuff and not keep it all bottled in. Not that I didn't feel like I couldn't before.
We definitely could, but with all the senshi business that usually occurred then the dates getting either interrupted by the girls or Chibi Usa, or my own stupidity in either forgetting we had a date and double booking, or taking an extra shift at part time job that I had, or something else that managed to come up, I didn't take the time to really appreciate her and wound up taking advantage of her supportive nature in me.
She was there for me, yet I wasn't really there for her. I got blindsided. I let that happen. It won't happen again, however back to the point here, since we hadn't dated in so long, we never really had the opportunity to talk as we did tonight and I felt much more connected with her now in this life than I did in the past. This past not our previous past. That one we were already connected in, but this one made a difference to us.
I wanted to know her better than I did, and for her to know me better than she did. That would only happen if this progressed and if we worked together to move forward. I was definitely going to make sure that when we were back together officially, everything re-instated, so to speak, that we would have one night at the end of the month where we would have dinner and talk. No sex unless she wanted it, but just talking about anything and everything.
However, it would only be about stuff in this life. Not past life pasts, unless that was a topic that one of us wanted to talk about for a specific reason. No, it would just be about our pasts here in this life. I made a mental note to bring that up to her after we spoke to Chili Usa this coming Saturday. That would be a tough day mentally and emotionally, but it would be utterly necessary for it to happen.
Just like how our second date's progression was. It's necessary to get these issues to the forefront so that we could resolve them. To talk and get things out. To be there for the other, to sympathize and be moral or emotional support…to kiss and feel her body against mine as I inhale her sweet scent. My mind completely drifted back onto the original reason why I was in the shower to begin with.
I had initially wanted to avoid showering just to keep her scent close to me, but one, everyone needs to shower to clean up. Natural sweat and all that. Secondly, I thought that if I took a cold one it would get rid of the hard on that I was currently pumping in my hands. No luck obviously as I recalled her touch…I felt him jerk, taste of her lips as she kissed me softly yet with renewed passion back…jerk, jerk, the feel of her body pressed into mine as I pushed my arousal against her leg…jerk, tug, squeeze.
The rhythm intensified till I grunted and groaned letting it all out in the shower. Normally I'd have lasted WAY longer than that, but it had been a long while since I last did that. Plus, it felt good to give myself that bit of relief. I washed off at that point and got out of the shower as I felt good about how everything went. I wanted to do more research on third date places to go to but before I got ahead of myself I knew I had to make a list of what points Usagi wanted to go over when it came to the future light of our eyes.
If I went over this with her, she'd see how on her side I was and how much I had not only been listening but putting in the effort to makes changes as she had. When I got out and threw some clothes on, I began to write out a list of what I already had in my head. I knew it was possibly being too much to write it all down, but I also did it for myself to. This way if I could remember anything more, I could write that down to.
Perhaps when Chibi Usa hears all of what she's done wrong it'll finally knock into her noggin. I only had one real concern, and that was making sure that Chibi Usa didn't blab about her 'issue' as I knew we were all taking a huge gamble in NOT telling Usagi. I felt that well of guilt line up in me now as I looked down at my phone. Eyeing Usagi's number on the display. With one simple text I could tell her, yet this was something NOT tell through a text of all things. I hit the button on the side to kill the light on the phone off.
No when she found out it should be in person with all of us there. Besides, Chibi Usa I figured must still be doing okay since I hadn't heard anything from her nor Usagi, or even Luna yet on her looking 'see through'. Then I'd worry again…especially after everything that's happened since. Though if I lose Chibi Usa it'll only be a sign that I've lost my Usagi in the end and I didn't want to lose her.
Usagi POV
I decide to make this sound as casual as possible. Going to Chibi Usa's room I knock on the door twice before walking in and finding her doing her homework. The Luna P ball looks at me as if in greeting before resuming being at her side. "Usagi?" she nearly asked, curious as to my visit, "Did you want to go to Mamoru's today? I thought we could all 'hang out'." It was a terrible reason to go since I had been avoiding being around her lately. I had had it after the museum trip we had so I had become hesitant.
She looks to me in near suspicion till she gets up from her little desk, "Sure, I was done anyways." She leaves on out with Luna P in tow as we get our shoes on, my purse and head on out the door. We walk in near amicable silence as I decide if breaking the silence is worth seeing how her attitude now has changed. It has been some time now so maybe a small test is in order, "So how's school going for you?" I asked.
Something simple and basic. She sighs, "It's going, I guess. I got B's on my last few assignments in art and in English for my essays on the different animals I did them on between the zoo and the museum. I don't think my English teacher likes me very much. She always looks at me so oddly." Wondering about that I ask, "Who's your teacher?" she looks to me, "Ms. Beku." She answers as I giggle. Chibi Usa frowns at me, "Sorry, but it's not your fault. You do look a lot like me, and I did have her as a teacher at that school to."
This prompts Chibi Usa to look at me in shock, but intrigue as well. "Really?" I nod to her in answer then elaborate, "I was good at art, which I used to also use that as inspiration for my English to but, English wasn't really my strong suit. It was sometimes even harder to me than math was." This shocked Chibi Usa to. "Really, how?" she asked, "Well I sometimes had problems with the word association to the order of them since its different from English to Japanese." I explain.
"Anyways, Ms. Beku was my teacher to and there was just something about her teaching method that I couldn't wrap my head around. My parents even got calling in on a parent teacher night to discuss my continuing on in her course. She didn't like how I was pulling down the GPA for the whole class and instead of partnering me up with someone who could help me out she simply wanted to kick me into another class." I could see Chibi Usa just listening to me and for once there were no snide comments.
It was encouraging so far. "Anyways, my parents talked to the principal over her head to keep me in the class-room. I eventually got a bit better, but she never liked that I was dragging her GPA down. I found out later on that teachers get a bonus at that school that the higher the GPA the more bonus they get. My grades lowered down her bonus. So, on some level I get it but on another level your reason for teaching shouldn't be primarily based on pay." It was something I felt strongly about.
"You should want to teach to see kids grow. To know you imparted a form of wisdom onto them that makes them want to be strong mentally as well as a whole." I could see the wonder on Chibi Usa's face, "So when she sees me…" I nodded, "She sees me and might be taking a bit of it out on you. Hypothetically speaking." I now wonder if telling her that was a bad idea seeing that she might say that this was all my fault now.
To my shock though she simply says, "That's not fair though. To either of us. Sometimes English is hard." She grumps and I smile, "Believe me I know." I agree as we arrive at Mamoru's place. Saturday had come far faster than I could have anticipated. So, as we went to the elevator to his place I wondered how she was going to take this talk. I knew she was going to feel cornered, but we really didn't have a choice.
As soon as we exited the elevator she practically skipped over to his door and knocked. He answered as she jumped into his arms. He did accept it then escorted her inside as he looked at me fondly. I couldn't help but give him a small peck on the lips as I went in myself and took off my own shoes. He closed the door behind me as he gestured for us to take a seat on the couch as he brought out three teacups.
We decided to have her sit on the far left side of the couch near the balcony while he took the far right side near the wall to in my sights, block the exit so she wouldn't trip to run off, while I sat in an armchair near the balcony to. We didn't want her to feel boxed in or trapped but rather in a comfortable environment that she could talk in, while subtly making sure she couldn't take off at the same time.
"Listen Chibi Usa…" I started, she looked to me as I poured her a cup of the tea, watching her through this exchange in hopes that what were about to talk to her about will get through to her not just to make sure she learns from everything but to see if things will change and if not I was going to have a serious talk with Pluto on sending her back to the future with a detailed note on what happened here.
I wasn't sure how the timelines worked so if my future self was aware of these developing issues or not remained to be unknown. "The reason why we're here isn't completely to hang out." I watch her face change a bit as she stuffs a tea biscuit into her mouth, looking back and forth between us as if waiting to see what was going on. "What do you mean?" she asks, keeping her voice for the moment neutral.
Possibly trying to anticipate what was going to be said here today and maybe even trying to find way to leave out if her flight or fight instincts came in. "Were here to talk about your attitude and how your treatment of certain people has led to the bind we put on your powers." Mamoru adds on, giving Chibi Usa a really strange yet strict look as she gulps. I would mull over the odd look later as she looked back and forth between us.
She then looks to me like 'I was tricked?! You tricked me?!' I breath as I explain it to her, "Your actions towards me the last several months are unacceptable." I can feel my own mother's tone of voice come out as I speak to her. You know the one that says your in big trouble and nothing you do or say will get you out of it, that tone. I think it was the only reason why she was listening to me even now.
"Not just as a child, but as one from the blood of both Terrian and Lunarian. Its needs to stop." She narrows her eyes a bit towards me, I could see Mamoru ready to speak verbally on my behalf if she got out of line. "You tricked me into coming here?" she dropped the rest of the tea biscuit. Its crumbs now scattered between the plate and coffee table. "No, it's depends on how you take this talk. Now you're going to sit there and listen while we go over these points." I tell her in a no-nonsense way.
She instead goes to try to turn puppy dog eyes onto Mamoru. It's a trick she's used many times before on him in the past and THANKFULLY he's wised up to her actions as he gives the visual of a firm foot down making her gulp that her puppy dog eyes woke work on him now. I smile in relief that he's grown his own backbone to her. He gives her a stern expression, "You're going to listen to not just me but your future mother as well."
She nods in acceptance and while I can't tell just yet if she's just agreeing to agree or if this is already starting to get through to her, I'm glad it seems to be going okay so far. "Your parents in the future sent you to us to take care of you, to teach you humility and how to be responsible and train you in their absence." He begins as he shifts it back to me, "But you haven't been training at all. Granted we've all slacked a bit in that area, but it needs to stop." I continue as she tries to defend but it falls flat when I admit we haven't enforced her training.
"First things first." I put down the tea and face her fully, "I know that when you first got here you needed to act up a bit as you did to keep others from knowing that we were as related as we were. It was kind of obvious to certain degrees on how closing related we are considering you have similar features to me." She nodded her acceptance of that but also seemed to not like being told she looked like me.
Like she was only acknowledging fact. "I accepted that at first, but Chibi Usa…" I adjusted to lean towards her, "You took it to far for far too long. You knew that because your powers could be triggered with the flick of an angry wrist, or a fear of anything that we wouldn't be able to punish you and you used that against us all." I could see the guilt in her now. "We all knew this was an issue for a while." Mamoru adds on.
She looked towards him, "We let far too much slid by to avoid you activating your powers and causing a scene. It's happened before whenever you lose control of them. To be frank…" I look to him now, "I wonder if we should have done the binding sooner but what's done is done." She looks down. In shame or hoping to gain some sort of sympathy I wasn't sure yet. "You have to understand where were coming from." He tells her.
I didn't see the protests as we would have gained from her had she NOT had the binding spell on her. I could tell she wasn't happy about this but was at least listening to this. "I…I never meant to take it too far…" she defended, her voice changing in tone. Between anger and sadness, she talked to us both and we needed her to continue to talk to us, however she needed to learn to that her actions hurt others.
Namely myself. "But you did." She turned her head a bit, "You hurt people emotionally and mentally along the way." I told her, I saw her face turn towards me as she seemed to want to burst with anger towards me, the tears beginning to well up in her eyes as she said, "I just wanted you to feel my pain. To feel some kind of pain so that I wasn't alone." I sat up a bit from my leant position.
I gave her the floor to talk so she could get her feelings out. The powers may have magnified her anger, but they also magnified her pigheadedness. Without as much of it her stubborn streak was lowered down and gave her the ability to speak her feelings more clearly than before. So instead of a burst of anger and running off as she usually would have done, she stayed put. She was, however, still quick to angry bursts. She still got upset but it was definitely reduced down which made this easier to work with on her.
"I needed to make you feel as I did." Her eyes were tearing up a bit but not too much. She was more angry than sad, "It made me feel better. It gave me…" she seemed to be looking for the right words to use as the tears seemed to disappear a bit. Either from self-realization or reflection of how she was feeling. "You began to enjoy seeing me getting in trouble." I finished as she turned towards me.
A small smile on her face, like she was reminiscing on it. It was a tad sad for my perspective to know that seeing me getting into trouble gave her some source of happiness. Even Mamoru looked at her with a sad expression. As if he couldn't believe that our own future child would feel that way. It made me question what kind of parents we were in the future, but we had to get that from her.
I mean puppies should make you happy. Kitten's should make you smile in delight. Seeing someone suffer even the tiniest of bit who DIDN'T DO anything wrong to you, who only wanted you to learn and grow shouldn't give you any true form of happiness. Her thought process on this needed to be examined further to see what we could do regarding it. There was something else lying beneath the surface we just needed to know what it was so we could address it to prevent it from becoming something worse.
"Seeing you getting in trouble, whether it be cause Mamo – chan stopped you, the girls stopped you or mama – Ikuko stopped you from scolding me in some form or another, or from telling you to be the bigger person that I was to young to be yelled at." Mamoru, I saw wincing on that since I knew for a fact that he had said some of that to. "It made me feel better that I wasn't the one getting into trouble for once. It was you." This must be a sore spot for her. While I didn't know how she was punished in the future knowing this could be helpful.
"You got in trouble a lot in the future?" Besides taking my crystal in the future and possibly preventing my future self from being able to STOP the events that happened which got you sent back her to begin with. It was something I hadn't ever discussed with the girls or Mamoru but what would have happened IF she HADNT done that? The crystal is incredibly powerful and is capable of great damage. It could have potentially stopped the war the dark moon clan send down upon us in the future.
Granted I KNOW that the dark crystal was very powerful as well, Diamond's explanation of that was definitely heard and my own crystal's non-responsiveness to it was definitely felt, but the silver crystal was of light and rebirth. The key as some have described it, too the universe. Plus, when I was kidnapped by Diamond I wasn't nearly as strong, power wise that is, as my future counterpart is.
Diamond knew that on some level. I'm sure some part of him knew that was the best way to try to steal me away. I wasn't as powerful as her yet, BUT I was still her just younger and with time I would be able to hone more of the crystal's power and evolve it as my mother before me did. I know for a fact that the crystal has already been evolving with my power ups. Diamond had to guess that and figure that with me by his side he'd have the key to the universe and its bearer at his disposal.
Back to the point here though, knowing that it was so powerful it could have very well had decimated the dark crystal when the attack occurred. We never would have had the events that came along with Chibi Usa's presence. Again, another theory of mine. I'm guessing had she NOT taken it when she did, we NEVER would have met her. Mamoru and I may never have gone through this whole break up thing or anything else that's happened. Alas, we'll never know but that was a theory that I had.
So yeah, I had no doubt she got into trouble as a kid in the future. I wanted to add on but that might only make this sound like a huge accusation whereas we were aiming for resolution and not to be combative. "Before the dark moon clan struck, I was picked on." I nodded for her to continue so she knew she was being heard and listened to, "I mean I was a princess, am the princess the crystal palace and mama had ordered the palace staff to not treat me any differently than other kids there." I looked to her in slight befuddlement.
"Other kids?" I asked, knowing that the twins she mentioned earlier were still in the Queen's womb so it couldn't be them. She gulped and decided to tread carefully on her word choices, "I can't say without giving to much away but let's just say that they're my only friends." While I'm glad she's staying tight lipped about that part I can't help but wonder if this is her small way of saying that the kids are the senshi's kids. Hope sparks in me for the girls to know they might be having kids of their own in the future.
I'd hate for them to give up on their own wants and desires just to protect me and my family as they were family to me to. "Then Mama made me take separate lessons for certain subjects and I had to go to a private school for it since the teachers that we had available during the school year didn't teach those courses. The kids over there though, they didn't like me." Her face fell a bit as if recalling them.
Then her face turned upward towards myself, "I initially had a different name in school so kids wouldn't know who I was for safety reasons, but kids are smarter than people give us credit for and figured it out." I wondered where she was going with this. "When they found out WHO I was I got a mix of kids who wanted to be my friends and kids who bullied me cause of who I was." Crap I had a bad feeling on where this was going.
"Then the friends I had were ONLY my friends if I could get their parents a dinner or meeting with my parents. It's all they wanted and if I couldn't deliver then I would be ostracized once more. Somehow it always came back to you." She looked at me. A bit of resentment in her eyes as if I was the sole cause of her pain, "I wanted to be with my friends more…to hang out with them but they eventually got pulled into private schools to." Her eyes left me as if in recollection of events.
"I couldn't be with my friends all the time; we couldn't hang out or study or anything. Mama told me they needed to be in a 'social environment' as did I so that we could be more 'open to ideas' and 'learn outside perspectives'." Her eyes went back to me. "I felt like you took my friends away cause you could have ordered - " she shut her mouth to avoid giving to much of the future away. I never knew the depth of her anger towards me.
"Then the staff at the palace treated me like the rest, on your order." She stated with sarcasm, "I was no longer having my every whim catered to. When I complained to you, you told me I had to be more self-sufficient and while I understood that the staff seemed to forget I even existed at that point. It was like I was suddenly invisible. Like I wasn't the crown princess. I liked being treated special." She pouted as I wondered how she couldn't see that future me was trying to avoid raising a spoiled, self-entitled brat.
I had to make sure she understood that. "But being catered to, it made me feel like I wasn't like everyone else. That I was unique. I didn't feel used or ignored. I felt wanted." I sighed as she spoke, "Then everything with the dark moon happened. That was during the other issue that we've already gone through." I nod as she skips over that stuff. Though I do have intention to talk to her about that to, or rather aspects of it to.
If she thought she was evading talking about her wicked lady kiss with Mamoru she had another thing coming. "Then the news of the twins came and, oh my kami, did everyone start to fuss around like crazy." She sounded jealous again. "I knew the moment you found out you were having them that you didn't want me around anymore." Her tone was hurtful and resentful. She had no clue to how all of what this really meant.
"So yeah when I got sent back here to the past to 'train'…" she put air quotes around it to solidify that the training was in her own words 'bull'. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at that, "I knew the real reason why. You were done with me. So yeah, I decided to get even in any little way I could. I had to. It was all I could do." She admitted. I waited a bit to see if she had anything else to say and if she did, she wasn't right now, "Mind if I express some things?" I was going to anyways, but I digress.
She just looked at me pointedly, not saying yes or no. "First off, You, are here for training, but I will admit we have slacked on that lately as there have been changes made that were working to change back." I look to Mamoru as he nods in agreement, "We will be getting back into that pronto so that we can develop your skills more. You need to be able to call upon your own powers more easily and not have to focus as hard like the rest of us did when we first started out." He added.
"Plus…" he continued, "With the training you can sharpen your focus, improve your reflex's and learn how to concentrate better in classes to." She accepted that as he explained, "I know for me while it was tiring when I first became Tuxedo Mask, it was so rewarding and I fell into a rhythm that allowed me to do that AND study for my medical tests." She looked on a bit stunned by that as I took the reign's back.
"Secondly, I can promise you that you're NOT being replaced." Now she rolls her eyes at me, "Don't you roll your eyes at me young lady." I scold her lightly as she gazes back at me stunned that I wasn't taking her attitude and delivering a 'watch it!' tone from someone who wasn't going to take it any longer. She didn't roll her eyes a second time that was for sure, so I chilled out just a bit.
"Listen as parents we may feel that the attitude can be adjusted but we'd never want to replace you with another." Even if in jest some wish that we could have a more respectful child, but I digress. "Mamoru and I here, and in the future…" he nods in agreement as we both face her, "Love you very much." She turned her nose but only saw the agreeing expression on Mamoru's face as she looked back to me, her features softening.
"The twins our future selves are having are very much like you." I tell her as Mamoru concludes with, "Their another expression of our love that we get to have." He looked to me fondly and I couldn't help the smile that graced my face at the expression of adoration he was giving me. Her shoulders slump a little bit at my words, making me refocus on her. As I spoke something came to mind that might explain this a bit better.
"Our future selves sent you here to learn but it wasn't to get you out of the way. It was probably also because women can get a bit hormonally moody during the trimesters." That bit of knowledge made Chibi Usa look at me oddly, "Like how moody?" she asked. Her curiosity peaked as she was listening intently. Almost as if in fear, "Like…" I snap my fingers as if giving her an example.
"Flip of a switch hormonal mood swings from one extreme to another." She looked equally confused, curious and terrified all at the same time, while Mamoru on the other hand looked torn between laughing at her reaction or joining it. Had the conversation NOT been so heavy I would have seriously laughed at the expression on their faces. "So, I'm guessing she wanted you down here to not be at the mercy of her mood swings. At least for the parts that she has little control over." It merely a guess but it made sense.
"It's also because of what you just said though. You enjoy being seen as special. You wanted to still be seen as above others and not as another figure in the crowd." This little child of ours had a bit of an ego from knowing who her parents were and what they meant to the people, but lost a bit of that when she realized that it was her parents that people not only wanted around more but would do or say a lot to be around. It seems she wanted that same respect and response without doing anything really to obtain it.
The sad part was she was jealous and angry cause she didn't get it and wanted what her parents worked hard for. She was still such a child in so many ways and needed to know that there are boundaries one needs to set up before they can continue on forward. "Your still very much loved by all of us but your actions and attitude speak of someone who feels they are above others and I'm sure that isn't something your parents instilled in you." I look pointed at her as she begrudgingly agrees, "No it isn't…" she mutters.
"With the twins coming you get to teach them in kind. You get to be an older sibling. Just as I got to be with Shingo in this life." I begin to remember how it was and smile, "I got to be a big sister when he came in. My mother was so happy and proud of me for taking initiative in taking care of him. I felt proud of myself and helping her help him as he grew up made me feel more confident in myself." It really had.
I see how Chibi Usa looks to me in small doses of slight understanding and thinking perhaps she could be the same way around the twins. "But mama, my mama…" she clarifies as I nod for her to continue, "She has maids and nannies to take care of them when their there." I smile and respond, "I highly doubt she'd want to leave that to them unless its during important business meeting." She looks to me, "How do you know?" her question rings out.
"Cause I've always wanted to be a mother. To watch my kids grow up. To teach them how to play sports. To show them how to protect others. To watch them find friends of the own and see them be the best versions of themselves." I tell her, "So when I'm changing a diaper, I'm thinking of how someday soon I'll be teaching you something important rather than dealing with that." She wrinkles her nose at the indication of diapers as I do.
"My point is I'm a hand's on mother type of person. I would rather do it myself than to have someone else do it for me. Especially on my own child. Tell me who trained you how to use the bathroom?" she thought on it, "Mama and papa." I smile, "Who taught you how to courtesy?" I asked, "Mama did." She answers, it seemed this was beginning to get through to her. "Your mother taught you a lot, didn't she? Your parents both did." She nodded in acknowledgement as her head lowered down.
"She will be doing that with the twins to, both of them will, but they'll need your help to be a big sister to both of them that way you can teach them what a parent can't. You can protect them when were not there. I did it for Shingo when he was being bullied at an early age. Thankfully the bullies moved away after a while, but it took time and I had to watch over him." I think things were sinking in for her.
"My point is you're not just love and wanted or needed by your parents or the girls, but you'll be needed and wanted and love by your younger siblings soon enough to. They'll look to you for guidance and support when your parents are away." She nods, "I didn't think about it like that." She admits, "I just figured the nannies would be there for them." She tells me, "Well they will be there for security reasons but in the end as their older sister you have to show them that their safe and loved to." She nods.
"I can do that." She nods once more as if to show that she can do that, "I know you can, I never doubted that. You just had to want to do it." I tell her as she smiles, "I do want to. I just didn't think that I would be wanted around anymore. I thought for sure that I was being replaced. I got scared." She admits as I see tears in her eyes, "It's okay to be afraid, for anyone really." I look to Mamoru who nods in kind and tells her, "I have faith in you Chibi Usa that you'll be a great big sister to them." She smiles.
Both seem to be having a true father daughter moment of bonding and for a moment I'm feeling a tad left out before shaking that from me. It's going to take some time before she fully let's go of it being a child as she is. Children can either be very forgiving or hold grudges for a long time to come. Much like adults but on a much less mature emotional and mental level. "On another note that we need to discuss…" as I haven't forgot one issue in particular that I wanted to address today as Mamoru looks to me with curiosity.
"Chibi Usa when you were wicked lady you remember everything right?" her eyes shift to me as she gulps, "Yeah…" as if to ask, 'why?' I put on my best I want the truth express from her. "I want to know why you kissed Mamoru?" as I watched her squirm just a bit, I saw the stiffening posture that Mamoru adopted as he shifted further from Chibi Usa. As if the mere memory of it sent him recoiling.
"I…" she her voice waivered, "I felt closer to Mamo – chan than I did with you. When the Wiseman made me wicked lady things got twisted around in my head. My memories changed." She began, "I saw things, people differently from how they really were. You were my enemy and so were the girls, but Mamo – chan…" she now looked guilty and a tad uncomfortable as she looked at him, "He had been so nice to me when I first got here in the past."
He gulped and I could sense he was wondering if his being around her had triggered a crush from her towards himself without his realizing it. Of course, I had known something like that all along, but this was as close to proof as I was going to get. "He made me feel at home, warm and welcomed. I trusted him since I knew deep down we shared a connection. I just didn't know what the connection was I just knew I could trust him." She explained as Mamoru sighed and closed his eyes.
"The visions I was having when I was in contact with her." He stated by way of explaining. Like something dawned on him, "She must have felt it and recognized some form of home and accepted that it was okay to trust me." Chibi Usa nodded seeing the logic in it, "Then why not with me?" I asked, as it didn't really explain WHY the kiss happened still. That and I was a little bit upset that my own future daughter found comfort in one parent over the other. I knew she was a daddy's girl but still.
Shouldn't there be something that we could bond over. That we shared as a mother and daughter, I know I did with both of my mothers. I loved them both equally in different ways and I knew I never would ever stop loving them. So for Chibi Usa to not feel a bond towards me and even have an issue with me in the future was a hurtful. "You were always guarding the crystal." She stated, "It was my key, my ticket back to my mother. Back to home." It was as if more clues were coming together now as I started to understand.
"You were in the way of that AND you were suspicious of me." I had every right to be considering you practically roofied the girls with sleeping potion when we had our first meeting and you followed me to see if you could snag the crystal from under our noses, and let's NOT forget that you hypnotized my family into believing you were related, not that we knew that at the time, but still! I thought as she explained herself.
"I was trying to get what I had come for, but you never let up." She sounded irritated still by that and knowing I had been on her ass about it since then just I think proves that I knew something was up with her. "It was honestly in the beginning irritating. Though I also couldn't figure out WHY I had this connection with you to." She appeared as if she had been once very confused by that notion.
"I hadn't wanted to be since you weren't whom I thought you'd be like. I had suspected you were Sailor Moon, but you seemed nothing like her. Nothing like mama. Nothing like the stories I was told about her from papa. Maybe I let my imagination of who I thought you were take over and tell me something different but that's what I thought at the time." She seemed to guess before she looked back up at me.
"I decided that you weren't going to be of any help to me, so I made my choices." I couldn't tell if she was merely explaining herself on it now, or if she was stating she would still do it all the same. I would ask later as she continued with, "Plus while you were tough to convince on thing's I just knew Mamo – chan would be softer around me." He looked a bit sheepish now realizing that his passive nature in the matter cajoled her towards him more than myself and made him more of a receptive party to her trust.
"He had already proven that I could trust him. You proved that I could trust you sure, but you couldn't trust me. I felt that deep inside. You have proven yourself as a senshi in my eyes, but I knew you'd question things I couldn't and didn't want to explain. I'd have had to admit to my role in the crystal's disappearance and I couldn't do that. The guilt was too much, and I didn't want to deal with everyone's disappointment in me." Great…I mutter mentally.
"Plus, when he broke it off with you as much as I was unhappy that it happened for the suspecting reasons I had, I was glad to get more time in with him. He made me feel special again and wanted. Plus being picked OVER you was nice…at the time." She amends as I nearly face plant my head. I can see Mamoru wincing again as he's seeing his own culpable parts in what happened in this as I am.
So Mamoru being a bit of a pushover to her whims and choosing her several times over, mixed with that bond of theirs, mixed with his breaking up with me, mixed with Wiseman's twisting on her memories when he turned her into an adult, even though she still had most of her child-like mind, made her twisted evil mind think that she and Mamoru had a thing during that time when really he was just trying to be kind to her and figure out the source of the visions he was seeing so that he could stop them from happening and try to protect me in the end.
Oh, this was so twisted and convoluted it was enough to make anyone's head spin a few times around. "That was then though." Chibi Usa blurts out. I lift my head up to see her, "I haven't felt that way in so long." She tells us, "Then why act as you have been? Why make Mamoru sound like he's your…" I couldn't get the word even out it just disturbed me to even think of it, "Honestly…?" she asked as I nodded, "I like him, but I enjoyed having you down on my level." I looked at her with shock.
"I'm sorry?" I asked, "I enjoyed our verbal fights. I had fun getting into them with you as you got in trouble for getting 'down to my level'." She put the air quotes around them. "I did it to irritate you. It was fun. Then as you said I took it to far, and now it's part of the reason why you two aren't a 'you two'…" I could tell there was guilt in there for that. I sighed wondering if I should forgive and forget before I throw that thought out the window.
If I didn't punish her in some form, then she wouldn't ever learn how to behave properly. I looked to her as I whip it up in my head and decide that if she didn't keep up with the changes we'd be setting forth I was going to lasso Pluto with Minako's whip if I had to, to send her back to the future, "Chibi Usa, your actions and words have caused us a great deal of stress yes." I begin as she gulps.
"I'd rather not HAVE to do this so for right now you get one and ONLY ONE warning." I could hear my own voice going south a bit. Anger at her yes but also sounding resolute as well, "If the disrespect and attitude doesn't change effective immediately, if you start to revert back to being a brat cause that's how you've been acting. Among other things…" she gulped again, "I will promise you, not threaten but PROMISE to send your pink haired bratty butt back to the future faster than you can blink an eye." Her jaw dropped.
To shocked to rebuttal I continue with, "I will NOT tolerate your attitude like this any longer. I refuse to be your 'whipping boy' and allow you to treat me like gum on the bottom of your shoe. You will respect me as your elder or you will be seeing your mother's mood swings sooner than you expected. You understand?" I asked making sure that we were clear. I didn't want to have another repeat conversation ever again in the future. Her tiny little nod as she gulped was enough for me…for now.
Usagi brings Chibi Usa over to mamoru's place as they talk to her about her issues. Chibi Usa accepts that she was in the wrong, a LOT and still feels that thin veiled threat of not existing happening. Unknown to them both Mamoru senses with his powers that while the power he put in her is waning her own power to sustain life is growing giving him hope that he's on the right path but also reminding him that if he were to mess up again that he'd lose everything.
-he calls minako and the girls telling them of his progress and that he wants to tell Usagi about Chibi Usa. The girls agree that she should know while Minako tells them they have to tell her the right way at the right time and ONLY when Mamoru can feel their link fully opened up again.
-mamoru and the girls argue with her over it telling her they should do it now. she tells them 'if we don't wait till the right moment, in the right way, she'll think we all lied to her and had HIS back the whole time.' the girls concede to this as minako says 'when I feel their link fully intact again, when he feels their link opening up fully again then we'll tell her as a group.' The girls reluctantly agree as Mamoru is determined to be closer to Usagi.