gemsofformenos: No worries, fanfics shouldn't be a chore. If you don't have to leave a review, that's totally alright!
"A hard wake up and it didn't got better for Azula as she started to realize what really has happened. Guilt an shame about her lack of control is gnawing at her. You capture vital aspect of her former character but you're giving them a new direction here. So well done in my opinion." Thank you. I feel like canon Azula would be embarrassed by a lack of control. But this Azula has a softer side to her and so there's guilt there too. And it was hard for her to be back at the compound because of all of the traumas attached to it. Even still, Azula is ashamed of this weakness. But the plus side is that, she does have people to comfort her this time around and Sokka understands that she hadn't meant to hurt him. "I love how you build up this growing love and need for closeness and affection in this story. Both care for each other and have grow so close and comfortable with each other. Wonderful written." Thank you. :) I've been waiting for a chance to give them a more fluffy moment. And thanks again, I hope that things get less hectic for you soon.
RadioDog77: "i have to tell you, i was shook before even reading this new chapter, like I went through an ATLA youtube theory rabbit hole" Tbh I'm surprised that I haven't went on one of those yet lol. I'm kind of curious about what that last thing was. xD "ANYWAYS! i'm glad that my comment gave you inspiration to ad more to what you had previously written and i'm certainly glad you didn't gloss it over." This is why reviews are so important lmao. They really help give me that extra motivation sometimes lol. That part with Katara would have been a lot shorter. "i'm glad that you gave Zuko and Azula a sibking moment" I gotta sprinkle those in every now and again, I love reading them so I have to write them too lol. "and I'm also glad that you keep making these parallels between the old Azula and the new one because when she regains her memories, well that'll be something I am looking forward to seeing." I have several plans for that and I'm trying to decide which to go with. I think that there's gonna be another alternate ending with this one because I had an initial direction for this story that I think had its own perks but it also had a pretty big con to go with it so I might be going in a different direction and then post my original idea as an alt end.
"Azula doesn't know how her brother got his scar at this point in the story because obviously she does not remember the event." That's a thought. Tbh I actually didn't even think of that lol. I think that, that will be the topic of discussion in the next chapter. The next chapter is gonna be one of those bridge/transitional chapters. I hate writing those because they seem like filler to me. But like they can't just magically teleport into the Foggy Swamp. :v So I think that that's the story that will be told on their boat ride there.
"this commentary has officially calmed me down from my earlier shookness (?we're gonna pretend that's a real word) I mean really it took me a whole 30 MINUTES to read one chapter solely because I could not get over myself. i swear i have never been more shook before." Shookness is valid and now I'm really curious lmao.
"i love where you're taking this and I am so excited to see where this takes us later on, if you've made it to this point in this review just know that i truly do love where you are taking this and I am very much enjoying the book so far, and I look forward to more." Thank you so much! I make a point of fully reading all reviews. :P I hope that you enjoy this new chapter!
Azula drinks in the warmth of the fire. Her mind is still abuzz from their venture to the Vine Research Facility. She lays herself on the ground, feeling worn out and pessimistic.
Truth be told, they hadn't expected to find anything on the first go around. No fool would remain in one place after losing such a high profile captive. Even still, it had been decently embarrassing to have to relay to the rest of her party that her team had come up nearly as empty handed as everyone else. Embarassing to let everyone know that they'd wasted their time. At least she had been able to present the maps and notes. Though she can't help but think that they were too convenient to be anything less than a decoy or a trap.
A trap, she can work with. A decoy is completely useless.
Azula presses her fingers into her temples and groans in frustration. The maps all pointed to the Foggy Swamp. This is where they had been planning to go next anyhow. It might be that she is overthinking things again. Really what is the harm in following those maps if they had already been planning on going in that direction anyhow? At least now she can account for possible mishaps.
She runs through various scenarios and possibilities and formulates a reaction plan for each. For this she is thankful for the notes. It keeps her mind from conjuring up images of Sokka's lightly burnt chest and an imagined scent of charred flesh.
It also keeps her from dwelling too much on how Katara, Mai, and TyLee seem to be avoiding her again. Toph and Aang have come to check on her. Aang had offered her a little insight on the Foggy Swamp and they'd had a fairly enthralling discussion about the place. Apparently, she is going to have to brace herself for hallucinations and startling phantasma.
She is alone again, with the pair having retreated off to bed. Azula knows that she ought to be sleeping too. She sits up and draws her knees to her chest as she stares into the flames.
She decides that she is in need of another distraction.
Sokka too is slumbering but she wanders up to him anyhow and gently shakes him awake. She imagines that he is probably growing tired of this routine of her rousing him from sleep because it refuses to come to her.
He mumbles something sleepy that she can't make out. "Sokka?" She calls with volume and abruptness enough to make him jolt. He practically tosses the blanket off of himself.
"Geez, Azula!" He exclaims. "Having trouble sleeping again?"
She nods, "not for the reason you think though."
He sits up and strokes the stubble on his chin. "Zuko says that you never liked failure, does it have something to do with that?"
Azula nods, "that's part of it."
"What's the other part?"
"Come show me the lights and I'll tell you?" She offers.
His blue eyes light up with glee. "You want to see the lights!?"
"Yes." She replies. "Now that I'm not sick and frostbitten, I might be able to appreciate them more." She doesn't particularly have to say any more, he is already tugging on a heavier pair of pants and his parka. She hasn't even taken her own off.
"Do you want me to heat up some tea and we can drink it while we watch the lights?"
"That sounds nice, Sokka." She certainly isn't one to pass on a little extra warmth.
.oOo.
Sokka ignores any and all protests as he bundles Azula up more adequately. She already has her parka on but her mittens are still uselessly wet from their journey home. He steals them away from her and comes back with a dryer pair. Along with a few pairs of socks and hats, they had been hanging above the fireplace and heated generously. She grumbles various protests at him being so fussy and overly-nurturing with her but such complaints begin to fall short when the pleasantries of toasty mittens start to settle in. He can't get her to admit her satisfaction out loud but when he turns around to fetch the tea, he catches her pressing the mittens to her cheeks.
He is not yet satisfied with the temperature of the tea so she certainly won't be. He leaves it to continue to a boiling point. As he does so he fetches a hat. He is thankful for her top knot, it saves him the trouble of having to sweep her long locks out of the way while he fixes the hat over her ears.
"Sokka, I already have a hood, I don't need…"
"Frostbitten ears and fingers." He fills in. "I know that you like matching things but I don't recommend losing an ear or another pinky."
Azula shoots him a vaguely humored pout and clutches her left hand. Without giving himself a chance to second guess, he takes that hand a gives it a small kiss. He quickly retracts to check on the tea. "Alright, I think that it's done." He pours a cup for her and gives her one final once over. "And I think that you're all set…" He pauses. "Maybe we should get you another coat?"
"Another coat?" Her brows crinkle and her nose scrunches. "I don't think that I'll be able to move if you add any more layers."
Alright, so he might have overdone it a little.
"If anything, I should take one off."
He chuckles. "Okay, I think that we're ready to go." He takes her hand and leads her out and into the snow. It isn't all too late in the night and, with luck, the luminous display will settle her mind enough for her to sleep. He hopes that her nights will be less insomnia riddled. He would be lying to himself if he said that it wasn't at least slightly annoying to be woken every night. He just hopes that he doesn't express as much.
Sokka finds that standing with her is more than enough to make up for that.
She is particularly quiet as she gazes up at the dancing sky. He can't tell if she is actually looking at the delicately churning curtains or if she is staring at the stars and moon. They are particularly bright tonight.
He has trouble finding a place in the sky that isn't strewn with cosmic glitter. The moon itself hangs in the sky like a silvery saucer. Its surface throws glimmering light over the fallen snow.
For once there isn't a flake in the air.
It is just as well because he doesn't have to squint against falling snow to enjoy the lights. All things considered, it is a rather warm night for the poles. He almost feels bad for bundling Azula up so heavily until he notices the ever so slight shiver over her body. "You getting cold?" He asks.
She shakes her head, "I'm not cold." The teeny tremor in her voice betrays that fib.
"Come here." He offers with a soft laugh and an eye roll.
The princess wanders back to him, her gait made awkward by snow and a layer too many of clothing. He pulls her close, her back pressing into his chest. He holds her around the middle and rests his chin on her head. He feels her arms curl up to grip the ones he has around her.
He had come out here to look at the lights but instead he is looking at her. At that rare moment where innocent delight is plain on her face. Even beneath the scarf, he can tell that she is smiling.
.oOo.
Azula can't say that she has seen anything like it; turquoise folds over pink and pink cascades over teal. And then it seems to explode in shades of blue and magenta and hints of green and purple. They dance like silks on a clothesline caught in a summer breeze.
Now that she is truly observing the display she can understand why Sokka enjoys it so. It is just awe striking enough to pull her mind away from the freezing air. Just majestic enough to quiet the unrest in her mind.
"I like them." She finally says. It is something of an understatement.
"I told you that you would." Sokka replies, giving her a little squeeze.
She pulls her gaze away from the lights and turns around to look up at him. She can see the curtains of light reflecting in his eyes. Kind eyes. Warm eyes. Frosty in color but warm no less. His smile is rather charming too, especially when it reaches those eyes. It has been a while since she has seen him so happy. Maybe she hasn't seen him this happy before now.
"I'm really happy that you like them, I was worried that you didn't and I was just bothering you." He says. "The first time I tried to show you them."
She shrugs. "I was just sick and…" she looks back at the vast expanse of the tundra. "Sick and waiting for something to shamble its way out of there." She admits.
"Fair enough." He replies. "What's bothering you tonight."
She presses her lips together and hovers her hand above his chest.
"Still?" He asks. "I told you that it was alright."
"It isn't alright with your sister. Or Mai and TyLee. I know what they think of me…"
Sokka sights. "Kat just gets protective, ever since mom died…"
"Your mother is dead?" She probably should have known as much. Thinking back on it, she'd only ever seen his father around. Perhaps she'd thought that the woman had simply been away, off somewhere else in the world. Or maybe it is simply that she hadn't had much time to connect those dots.
"Yeah. It was the war, when I was just a kid."
"How young were you?"
"Maybe seven or eight. Something like that…" He trails off.
"My therapist says that I have mother troubles too, I don't remember them though." At her slight laugh he gives one of his own.
"Anyways, ever since that happened, Katara's been all protective and motherly. She doesn't want to lose anyone else. She just needs some time to cool off." He shrugs. "She'll see the whole picture once she does."
"What about Mai and TyLee?" She asks. "They've been looking at me as though I'm going to set them on fire at any minute."
"That's probably because they haven't seen you like this yet."
"Like what?"
"Sniffling and buried in a ridiculous amount of parkas."
"That is your fault?" She crosses her arms.
"The parkas are, yeah." He agrees with what she believes is self satisfaction.
"Maybe I should have asked them to join us…" She thinks aloud.
"I think that there will be other times for us to talk as a group." Sokka shrugs. "They just need to get used to the new you." He cups a hand over her cheek.
"I suppose." She replies. She watches her words trail away on the mist that slips from between her lips. It reminds her that it is absolutely frosty time she doesn't think that the distraction of the lights will be able to take the bite away.
"You're cold."
This time it isn't posed as a question and she doesn't plan on lying about it anyways.
"Let's get back inside then."
"How long do you usually watch them for?" She looks back up as they begin to walk back.
"An hour or so."
"In this weather?"
He shrugs again, "I'm used to it."
Perhaps she should make a goal of building up her cold tolerance.
"I bet that I wouldn't last as long as you on a beach." He points out.
"True." She cuts him a smug smile; as smug as she can make it anyhow with the icy air practically freezing her face into stiffness.
She stuffs her hands into her pockets and her mind begins to ruminate on Katara, Mai, and TyLee again. She finds it hard to believe that they will get used to her, especially if Sokka's tales of her are to be believed. And she thinks that they most certainly are. "What if they don't get used to me?"
"You're going to have a whole boat ride to the Earth Kingdom to show them that you're a fun person to talk to."
Her belly flops just thinking about being trapped on a boat and in another awkward dinner conversation. She might just have to get used to them too. She is coming to realize that socializing doesn't exactly come easily to her. That she likely comes on too strong. That she is too blunt. And that she sometimes isn't sure what to say at all. It is this that finally compels her to ask the other thing that has been occupying her for quite some time. "Do you love me?" She asks it quickly enough and abruptly enough for him to ask her to repeat herself. It is harder the second time, now that it isn't an impulse question. But she manages to inquire again.
.oOo.
Sokka's strides slow to a halt. The question has thrown him. He supposes that the question was just waiting to be asked. Though he didn't expect her to ask so soon. As so, he hasn't yet figured out how to answer it.
The part of him that still has hopes for Suki is reeling. And the thought that Azula recovering her memories will nullify everything else that they've been through still nags him persistently. And yet when he looks upon her, he only feels a pleasant flutter. Especially when She stares up at him like that.
He swallows.
At his hesitation, her face seems to fall.
He swallows harder still.
He has delayed too long. He isn't sure if it is hurt or anger that he sees on her face. Whichever it is, it carries her the rest of the way back to his home. He watches her disappear inside.
At her departure he is sure that he does love her. It wouldn't hurt him so much if he didn't.