Like I said in the summary, there are only going to be two more episodes after this one. The next one's gonna be another Google Translate one, but I've had a hard time picking a song to Google Translate in it. Any suggestions?
I'm sorry this episode sucks. I really hate how I've gotten mad at The Loud House many times before for having episodes that are bad and too basic and yet the ones I make have those exact same flaws.
Late one June night, Adelaide was watching TV in the living room of her family's apartment. There wasn't anything on she cared about watching and she was only doing this due to her rebellious attitude. She knew her parents would want her to be in bed by now since it was five hours past her bedtime. She was choosing to disobey one of their rules simply because she had grown tired of having to follow them long ago.
She had the apartment all to herself. There was a babysitter but she was able to scare him away almost immediately. All it took was showing him her fangs. The rest of her family never approved of acting that way towards humans. They wanted vampires to be seen as people, not as monsters. Adelaide, however, could not disagree with that more.
Since I've been talking about her so much, you might have assumed she's the main character in this thing you're reading. Well, she's not. You may already know, but it's actually Sid who's the main character.
Sid was at a dinner party with their parents at Ronnie Anne's apartment. Sid considered staying home, which her parents would've allowed, but the thing that was making her want to avoid the party was also what made her want to go to it. That was Ronnie Anne herself.
Ronnie Anne: I HATE YOU!
Sid ran back to her apartment, disappointing Adelaide since her time alone was over now. Sid would've said something back to Ronnie Anne, but was way too nervous and had no idea what the right thing to say would be. Besides, Adelaide started talking to her right away.
Adelaide: What did you do now?!
Sid: I just asked her to please pass the salt.
Adelaide: Well, inviting yourself to eat dinner with the person you know can't stand you and you said you would leave alone was your first mistake.
Adelaide was mostly right. Ronnie Anne obviously did hate Sid and Sid did in fact decide she wanted to give Ronnie Anne space. But there was one inaccuracy in what Adelaide had said and Sid wanted to correct it.
Sid: I didn't invite myself. Ronnie Anne's mom invited us. Remember?
Adelaide actually had forgotten, but there was no way she was going to admit that.
Adelaide: That was a test. Good response.
Ever since Sid had learned that Ronnie Anne hated her, she was willing to let that be the case despite how much it pained her inside. However, every time Ronnie Anne expressed her true feelings to her, a small part of Sid wished things could go back to the way they used to be.
You see, Ronnie Anne's deep deep hatred used to be a secret. Sid had never had a friend before, so when her family moved into the apartment, Sid's parents talked Ronnie Anne into making a deal with them. Ronnie Anne would pretend to be Sid's friend and...get absolutely nothing in return. Wow! Now that I think about it, that's a horrible thing to agree to. No wonder she ended it.
Speaking of ending things, Sid instantly ended the conversation with her sister by running to her bedroom, wanting to be alone. She jumped on her bed (Yes, she has a bed, not a coffin.) and buried her face in her pillow. Without looking, she started playing some music on her phone in the hopes that it would get her mind off of the friendship she wished she had.
I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more
Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours (Sweet heart of yours)
Upon hearing that line, Sid held her head up and gasped. It paralleled what she was going through perfectly. She had also misheard the word "learn," as "earn," although that didn't make much of a difference. If only Sid would realize Ronnie Anne's heart is anything but sweet.
And I might never get there, but I'm gonna try (Yeah)
If it's ten thousand hours or the rest of my life
After those two lines, she began to cry her eyes out into her pillow.
10,000 hours is only about a year and 51 days. Does anybody else think it's weird that the people singing that song go from just over a year straight to the rest of their lives? That's quite a jump. There's plenty of other amounts of time it could possibly take. It doesn't have to be one of those two.
Uhh...I'm...I got off-track there. Sorry.
The next day, Sid was at the Loud house. As you may know, Izzy had become her best friend after Sid's horrible 13th birthday when Ronnie Anne revealed the truth in a very brutal, traumatic way.
On the day when Sid and Izzy became friends, Izzy was locked in a cage and still slept in said cage to this day because she's such a crazy weirdo. However, they had temporarily taken it off of her bed that used to be Lori's so they could jump on it. While jumping, Sid played her 'Jumping On The Bed' playlist on her phone. They were currently listening to the awesome song Jump by Van Halen.
The two besties jumped for a bit until Sid jumped off of the bed and said the last thing Izzy wanted to hear.
Sid: Bye, Izzy. I've gotta go.
Izzy: Why?!
Sid: I'm gonna try to get Ronnie Anne to like me again tomorrow. I've got a whole plan for it and I need to get home so I can prepare.
Upon hearing that, Izzy looked down to her feet. The "Do Not Open Until Christmas" sticker on her mouth covered half her facial expression, but Sid could tell her best friend was frowning.
Sid: What's wrong?
Izzy: You shouldn't keep trying to get that butthole to like you. It's never gonna work. Besides, you've got a perfectly good friendship here with me. You don't need her too.
Sid: I can see why you feel that way, but imagine if one of your other friends suddenly revealed to you, on your birthday, that they hate you and always did. Wouldn't that upset you like it did me?
Izzy was silent for a moment.
Izzy: No. I don't think I'd care.
Sid: Well, that's one thing that's different between the two of us.
Izzy: Okay, fine. But I just think this has gotten ridiculous. It's reached the point where you're Harley Quinn, I'm Poison Ivy, and Ow's The Joker.
Ronnie Anne's nickname is Ow. I'm not even being sarcastic when I say that I don't know if I've done a good job making that known.
Sid raised an eyebrow.
Sid: I'm too young to watch that show, so you're gonna have to use some other analogy.
Izzy tried to think of one but came up blank.
Izzy: 'Scuse me for one second.
Sid: Of course.
Izzy left the room, asked Luna and Luan for something she could say, and then returned.
Izzy: Me, you, and her are like the people in that Taylor Swift song where she's not his girlfriend but he belongs with her.
Sid: Now THAT I understand.
Sid began to leave the room, but Izzy stopped her by grabbing her arm.
Izzy: What's this plan you have?
Sid: Absolute genius! That's what it is! I figured out why Ronnie Anne hates love and is so grumpy all the time. It's because she misses her dad. So, tomorrow on Father's Day, I'm gonna go back in time and prevent whatever it was that made her lose him as a part of her life.
Izzy was skeptical at first, but after thinking about it for a moment, she realized she actually liked this idea. If Ronnie Anne grew up with a more positive attitude, maybe she never would've hated Sid in the first place. In the new alternate reality Sid was going to attempt to create, maybe the three of them would be friends together and no one but Sid would remember the way things were originally.
Izzy: That sounds like it'll be good for everybody. Go for it!
Sid: Heck yeah!
Sid then began to exit the room while Leni entered.
Sid: Adiós.
Leni raised an eyebrow at this but was nice enough to comply to what she thought she was being asked.
Leni: Okay, if that's what you want.
She grabbed Sid by her left arm and left leg.
Sid: Wait. What are you doing? Why are you...?
Leni slammed Sid's arm and leg onto the cage, making her scream in pain.
Sid: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!
She was then dropped on the floor, causing even more unbearable pain.
Izzy: HEY! Whatcha do that for?!
Leni was puzzled.
Leni: Doesn't "Adiós" mean "Please break my right arm and right leg?"
Izzy: First off, those aren't her right arm and leg. We've been over the difference between left and other left. Second off, NO!
Despite the intense physical agony she was now in, Sid was able to push through it and ask a question.
Sid: Where'd you learn that from?
Leni: It's what your sister told me.
Another day later, Ow and Bloodsucker 3000 (That's Adelaide's nickname.) were playing Nintendo Switch together in their secret hideaway.
Ronnie Anne: Excuse me! Just because Ada's allowed in here doesn't mean it's her room too. It is mine and mine alone.
Adelaide: I can tell you hate sharing and I don't blame ya'.
Ronnie Anne: Thanks. And speaking of hating things, I'm starting to wish Lori had never moved in. She and Bobby are always making out and talking about how much they love each other.
Ronnie Anne then pointed at her wide open mouth while making a gagging sound.
Ronnie Anne: You are so lucky your sister and Clyde aren't like that. There's also a third disgusting thing I wanted to say Lori and Bobby do, but you're too young to hear about it.
Adelaide: ...And Clyde is?
Ow was surprised to be asked this.
Ronnie Anne: Your sister's boyfriend.
Adelaide: ...Oh, right. She has a boyfriend. I completely forgot.
Ronnie Anne: Can't say I'm surprised. No, wait. I take that back. I am surprised. Surprised that she has a boyfriend at all when anyone with a brain can tell she's in love with me, as much as I wish with all my life that she hated me.
Adelaide: Yeah, I know. It's redonk. You should've seen all the plans she had for the one-year anniversary of when you two met. If you hadn't told her the truth on her birthday, you totally would-a during the anniversary party she was gonna throw. You wouldn't have been able to keep your sanity.
The two kinda sorta friends who only enjoyed each other's company due to their shared hatred of another person played their game for a few more seconds until Adelaide remembered she had something to ask.
Adelaide: Can I ask you for a favor?
Ronnie Anne groaned.
Ronnie Anne: I guess.
Adelaide: Since today's Father's Day, my dad...
Adelaide wasn't able to finish her sentence due to Ronnie Anne interrupting her out of shock while dropping her controller and standing up suddenly.
Ronnie Anne: TODAY IS FATHER'S DAY?!
Naturally, Adelaide was puzzled.
Ronnie Anne: I can't believe I'm about to say this, but your sister having a broken arm and leg is no longer a good thing.
Adelaide: How? My sister being in pain brings us joy.
Above the entrance to the Anne Cave was still a piece of paper that stated no vampires were allowed except for Adelaide. Right outside the entrance was Sid, who always took the rules of the Anne Cave very, very seriously and was overhearing the conversation being had inside. Her left arm and leg were now in casts. She was also holding a large paper bag and a crutch in the hand she could still use.
Sid: I'm really sorry to interrupt, but I've gotta know. Why are you two avoiding saying my name?
Adelaide was more than happy to clarify.
Adelaide: It's another one of Ow's rules. Your name can't be said in here because it's just that impossible for her to like you.
Sid was of course not happy to hear that, but was compliant and accepted it.
Sid: Okay. I guess I'll just send my feelings to the hospital later.
She was not being sarcastic when she said that. Sid loved Ronnie Anne so much that she would let her have absolutely anything she wanted, even if what she wanted was to treat Sid like trash.
Adelaide: STOP JUST DOING WHATEVER YOU'RE TOLD! STAND UP FOR YOUR...
Adelaide was interrupted again due to Ronnie Anne cutting in with something she considered much more important than anything else being talked about.
Ronnie Anne: Sid, please don't take what I'm about to ask as me caring about you because I still don't in the slightest. Is there any way that we can heal your injuries by the end of the day?
Sid: Not that I know of. Why?
A somewhat long story had to be told first before the answer to that question could be given. After taking a deep breath, Ronnie Anne began to tell it.
Ronnie Anne: It was Father's Day 2010. A man named Mr. Minminsux who claimed to be from the future randomly came to my house. He said he had come specifically from Father's Day 2020 and I was looking forward to that day finally coming so I could maybe see him again. His left arm and left leg were both broken. And who has those exact injuries right now? Oh, that's right. If it turns out that Mr. Minminsux was actually you all along, I am going to be more mad at you than I ever have before, which you know if saying a lot.
Sid had come to tell Ronnie Anne about what her big plan was because she thought she would like it. Now that she knew that couldn't be further from the truth, Sid began to leave without saying anything.
Ronnie Anne: Don't! If you so much as think of setting foot in a time machine, I will rip your freaking head off!
Sid: I'm not gonna get in a time machine!
Ronnie Anne: You swear?!
With a nervous smile, Sid nodded her head up and down really fast. Contradicting that, a time machine just like the one from Bill & Ted appeared behind her and her future daughter stepped out of it.
Jordan: Mom, I brought you the time machine, just like you asked. It's already pre-set for Father's Day 2010 like you wanted. It'll go as soon as you shut the door.
Starting to sweat, Sid glanced around the room, getting a good look at everyone else's facial expressions. Her daughter was judgmental, Ronnie Anne was angry, and Adelaide was finding this situation humorous.
Nearly every fiber in her being was now telling Sid that what she had planned to use the time machine for was wrong. However, the few fibers that still wanted to go through with it were slowly overpowering them. Sid thought that maybe it was time to take her little sister's advice.
Sid: Jordan, it's gonna hurt like the dickens, but it'll be the only way I'll be fast enough. Please throw me into the time machine.
Ronnie Anne: NOOOOOOOOOO!
Jordan pushed her mother into the time machine as Ronnie Anne rushed towards it with rage. Initially, Jordan didn't understand why Sid wanted to be fast. Now that it had been made clear to her, Jordan slammed the time machine's door shut as quickly as she could. Just like she said it would, the time machine zapped away.
Jordan: I'm not a fan of what she's planning to do either, but please don't kill her. I don't wanna be erased from existence.
Adelaide: Wouldn't only half of you get erased since your dad would still be alive?
Ronnie Anne: That is not the key issue right now! Not even close! Jordan, what is your mom planning to do? It had better not be anything that'll change me because I am happy with myself the way I am!
Jordan: There's no need to worry. I turned the time machine's safety on, so she'll be sucked back into it before she's able to make any changes to the past.
While the time machine sent her one decade into the past, Sid put on a disguise consisting of a fake mustache, a trench coat, and a fedora. That's what was in the paper bag. Afterward, she sat down as much as her leg injury would allow and watched a clip from The Casagrandes on her phone. It was a scene in which the original Sid hugs the original Ronnie Anne.
Original Sid: I came down for sugar but got something much sweeter.
Tears formed in Sid's eyes as she watched the clip. However, if she was successful, she and her Ronnie Anne would have the same relationship as the originals and her life would greatly improve.
Sid: We'll be like that soon, my friend. SOON!
June 20th, 2010
Once she knew the time traveling was complete, she stepped right outside into the 2010 world. Upon seeing what the world of the year she was now in looked like, her jaw dropped.
Sid: What the heck's all this stuff?!
The environment was very strange and nothing like she expected. There was metallic sea sponges everywhere. There was titanium rocket jock straps, headless parrots with bottle caps, and floating eyeballs entrapped in glass lids. It was definitely worthy of the reaction she gave it. And both the Mother's Day and Father's Day things I made this year happen to mention jock straps. I don't even know what a jock strap is!
Sid: How is this all happening?
Sid caught sight of a man walking by and waved at him to get his attention.
Sid: Excuse me, sir. I'm a time traveler and this has gotta be the wrong year. What year is it?
The man in question was the Angry Video Game Nerd from the YouTube series of the same name.
AVGN: It's the year 2010!
Sid: WHAT?! But how can that be?
AVGN: This was all foreseen in the game Street Fighter 2010.
The Nerd showed Sid an NES cartridge. It was the game he just told her about. Despite seeing it with her own eyes, Sid still doubted that this is what 2010 was like.
Sid: How come I don't remember any of this then?
AVGN: How old were you in this year?
Sid: Three.
AVGN: That's how come then.
That was a decent enough explanation, so Sid nodded at it while handing the Nerd a piece of paper she had in her pocket.
Sid: What's the quickest way to get to this address? I need to find a girl named Ronnie Anne Santiago and...Let's just say I need to rewrite some history.
AVGN: Oh, really? What is it? Changing something about The Berenstein Bears?
Sid: It's actually The Berenstain Bears.
AVGN: What?! No it's not.
On her way to Ronnie Anne's home, Sid happened to pass by the Loud house. She was tempted to go in, but......was completely unable to resist that temptation. She felt she had enough time to make a quick little stop. Even if she ended up running out of time, she could always use the time machine again for a second attempt at her goal.
After Sid ran up to the front porch and knocked on the door, she was greeted by a younger Leni.
Leni: Hello, guy with a mustache.
Sid: Hello. You don't know me, at least not yet, but may I please come in?
Leni: Letting a person I don't know into my house? I see nothing wrong with that.
After stepping inside, Sid saw Lincoln sitting on the couch and wearing a blue hat that said "#1 Baby Boy" on it.
Lincoln: Lynn, will you PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE play Nicktoons MLB with me?!
Lynn: For the bajillionth time, NO! But I'll play a real sport with you.
Lori: I'll play a sport with you, Lynn. There's a new mini-golf place that looks kinda cool. I don't think I like golf, but you never know. It might still be a fun sister thing to do together.
Lincoln: And I can't play sports with you 'cause I don't have that kind of energy. You'd understand that if you weren't such a googoo gahgah head.
Lynn: I'm not a googoo gahgah head! If anybody's a googoo gahgah head, it's you, googoo gahgah head.
Lincoln: No, no. Only girls can be googoo gahgah heads, googoo gahgah head.
Lynn: That doesn't make any sense, googoo gahgah head!
Leni: You're BOTH googoo gahgah heads!
Sid: What is a googoo gahgah head?
Lynn: A stupid dummy who still wears his dumb baby hat even though he's not a baby anymore.
Lincoln: I'm still the youngest in the family, so I'm still the baby until the baby in Mommy's tummy comes out.
Lynn: ...Whatever, googoo gahgah head.
Googoo gahgah head, I mean - KIRBY asks "He indeed moved away; to Anchorage, Alaska. He instantly forgave Lola for that Halloween incident, but had to move in 2028 because he got an acceptance letter from Alaska Pacific University."
Lincoln: WHO SAID THAT?!
Sid: That was The Announcer. I guess he came with me.
The Announcer: Nope. I have my own means of time travel.
Lincoln: Okay. That's cool, whoever you are. But who is this Lola person?
The Announcer: Oh, only one of the two kids your mom is currently pregnant with.
Lori: She's having twins?!
The Announcer: You bet!
Lori: Who moved away though?
The Announcer: Well, technically saying "You" isn't a wrong answer, but Kirby was talking about Lola's boyfriend Jake.
Sid: Are you sure it's okay to tell them about the future like this?
The Announcer: It's probably not but I don't give a spec.
Sid: Okay then. In that case, Lincoln, I'd like you to know that your best friend Clyde is very special to me in the future. But not nearly as much as your best friend on the girl list.
Lincoln: ...Clyde is a name?
Klaus asks "Lincoln, why are you wasting your time being Lola's pageant coach? You're getting nowhere training a failure of a Loud sister. She hasn't won a single beauty pageant in an entire year. Plus she's a tattletale blackmailing brat of a sister who says she can't read."
Lincoln: Wow. Lola sounds like a real googoo gahgah head. I'll bet her twin is a quadbatillion times better! If she ever asks me to be her pageant coach, whatever that is, I'll be sure to reject her offer.
Lynn: You better. Beauty pageants are literally the dumbest thing in the history of the world. Whoever invented them is the biggest googoo gahgah head to ever live!
Lori: ...What was that big word you just said?
Lynn: "Literally?"
Lori: Yeah, that one. What does it mean?
Lynn: It doesn't mean anything at all. You just throw it into a sentence whenever you want to show how serious you're being.
Lori: Huh, cool. I'm gonna start saying it.
Lugia asks "Hey Loud family. Did you hear that the Kanto Birds are getting Galarian form variants?"
Lincoln: ......Getting? What are you talking about? They already have Glare-ian forms. Everybody knows that.
Sid: In the universe the person who asked that lives in, Pokémon are fictional, so...
Sid stopped herself when she saw the complete confusion on the Louds' faces.
Sid: ...Never mind. In fact, I should probably get going. Got something really important to do!
At Ronnie Anne's home, the now younger-than-Sid Santiago kids were in their living room, waiting for their two parents to return home from wherever they had left to. Ronnie Anne and Bobby's babysitter was in the bathroom. Earlier that same day, their mother had accidentally revealed to Ronnie Anne her shapeshifting ability and now the young Ow was having a hard time focusing on anything else and hoping she'd be able to keep it a secret.
Before the parents had left, Maria and the kids filled up a time capsule. In it, Maria included a letter. Here is a paraphrased version of what it said.
I predict that in the future, Bobby now has a girlfriend. By the time this gets read, she's moved in with us and Bobby is working at the mercado.
I also predict that Ronnie Anne is starting to like boys. I'll bet she has a crush on that one boy with the unusual hair color she goes to school with. His hair is gray, I believe, and I'm pretty sure his name is Larry. Also, my daughter has never once set foot on a hoverboard because they are beyond crazy dangerous and she would never disobey me.
But most importantly of all, Arturo and I are without a doubt still happily married. Yes, "STILL!" As I write this, we are not at all having problems or planning on separating.
Sid rushed inside. When she saw the 5-year-old version of her favorite person in the world, she was so overwhelmed by how cute Ronnie Anne was that she nearly forgot what she had gone there for. However, Sid quickly remembered that she needed to focus on her goal.
Sid: Where are your parents?
Bobby: Who are you?
Sid: ...I guess I'm supposed to tell you to call me Mr. Minminsux. I come from the future, Father's Day 2020 to be exact, and I have proof.
Sid pulled out her phone and hoped that it looked futuristic enough for that to be all it took to convince them. It wasn't. Both Santiagos felt it looked pretty much just like a phone made in 2010 did. Realizing this, Sid showed them a picture on her phone of their future selves.
Still skeptical, Bobby asked a followup question.
Bobby: Why are you here?
Sid: I have come to prevent something horrible from happening. Right now, your parents are on their way to get divorced and...
Bobby: That can't be true. They're always talking about how they love each other very much.
Ronnie Anne sighed.
Ronnie Anne: Have you really been believing that? Have you not noticed that they've been fighting all the time?
Sid: In all fairness, that doesn't always mean a married couple is gonna get divorced. This time, it does, however. I'm sorry to blurt this all out so fast, but we have to hurry!
Sid was beginning to creep the Santiagos out, causing each of them to take a couple steps backward.
Ronnie Anne: What's the rush? Is it a life-or-death situation?
Sid: Sorry to change the subject, but in the future, your favorite hobby is hoverboarding. Has that...started yet?
Ronnie Anne: Not exactly, but basically yeah. Why do you need to know?
Sid: I was hoping you would let me use it so I can...
Ronnie Anne: NEVER!
Ronnie Anne jumped onto a cardboard box that was by the couch.
Ronnie Anne: This hoverboard is MINE and nobody but me gets ta' use him! Especially not when I haven't gotten to use him yet.
Sid: Why haven't you?
Ronnie Anne: My mommy says he's too dangerous. The only reason I have him is because my daddy...
Ronnie Anne cut herself off when she had a realization. It was okay though because what she would say next would clear up what she was going to say. She got up off the box and walked back over to her brother.
Ronnie Anne: Bobby, I think this Mr. Minminsux guy might be onto something. You know how Daddy keeps getting us really cool and expensive presents?
Bobby: Of course. So?
Ronnie Anne: He was totally lying when he said it was for absolutely no reason. It's because him and Mommy really are getting divorced!
Bobby: But that's just ridiculous! What does buying us gifts even have to do with that?
Suddenly, Jordan's time machine appeared underneath Sid sideways. The door flung open, she fell into it, and then the door shut. She tried to get out, but her reaction time was too slow and the time machine zapped her back to 2020.
Bobby: I guess he had to leave.
A while later, Ronnie Anne and Bobby's mother Maria returned home, quite a bit later than they were expecting her too.
Bobby: Mom! You're home! What took so long?
Ronnie Anne: And where's Daddy?
With tears shooting out of her eyes, Maria had to take a moment or two before she could respond.
Maria: ...Kids, take a seat. I've got something to tell you.
Just like she asked them to, Maria's children sat down on the couch together and then she sat in between them.
Ronnie Anne: Geez, I wonder what it could possibly be. Is it by any chance that you and Daddy are splitting up?
Maria would have asked how her daughter came up with that guess, but there was something much more important to attend to. Besides, she had begun to suspect that her kids were onto the secret upcoming divorce anyway.
Maria: Yes. We were.
Bobby: "Were?"
Maria: While your father and I were out, we were fighting again while we walked through the street...and...
Looking at her son and daughter's confused faces, a lie suddenly came out of Maria.
Maria: ...He moved to Peru.
Ronnie Anne: ...Is that true?
Hearing that question made Maria remember that she couldn't lie, especially not to her children.
Maria: No. It's not. Kids, never forget that you should never lie to people even if they would prefer the lie over the truth.
Ronnie Anne: Okay. But what's the truth?
After a brief pause, Maria finally told them what actually had happened.
Maria: While we were crossing the street, your father suddenly had a freak heart attack. I called an ambulance and it seemed like they were going to get there in time, but a headless parrot started pecking at him after he fell to the ground. The parrot distracted a bus driver and...
The room fell completely silent.
Ronnie Anne: No. NO! You don't mean...?
Maria: I'm afraid so. Kids, your father's dead.