A pillow as soft as a cloud; silk sheets as smooth as cream; a damp cloth across her forehead.
She groaned softly and her eyelids peeled open. A world of red, gold and mahogany met her eyes. She blinked repeatedly. The image did not fade.
Huh?
It was… Her bedroom… In the palace.
She went to raise her head for a better look but an awful ache gripped her body.
"Ugh…" She laid back down.
Her teeth began to chatter and her skin felt cold. Her nose tickled. She inhaled deeply… And sneezed.
"Oww!"
Her throat burned and her sinuses throbbed. She sniffled but her nose was completely stuffed.
She was sick and had the chills.
With another groan, she lowered her heavy eyelids. I'm home...? How…?
Suddenly, the cloth on her forehead moved and gentle fingertips brushed her skin.
Her brow wrinkled but her eyes stayed closed. What? Who? A servant?
Bright light shone through her eyelids, making her squint. A shadow moved across the light and she felt pressure in her left hand. A muffled sound entered her ears, calling her name. Someone was next to her, holding her hand. She couldn't understand their words.
A familiar feeling welled inside her. Curiosity wrinkled her brow.
"Mom?"
She tilted her head to her left and opened her eyes.
Staring at her was the calm, observant face of Doctor Izumi.
The doctor's clinical expression softened and her lips curved in a tight-slipped smile. "Not exactly," she said warmly.
Azula gazed at the doctor, her mouth agape and mind swimming. She wasn't in the palace. She was in bed at the hospital, in Taizao, recovering from her wounds…
… And she had called the doctor 'mom'.
Azula's cheeks warmed. She averted her gaze and scowled. "I didn't mean to call you that," she muttered.
"That's alright," Izumi assured. "I'll take it as a compliment."
The doctor continued to hold her left hand.
Azula shut her eyes and moaned as pain throbbed in her chest, legs and stomach. Her muscles ached everywhere, even where she didn't remember having wounds. She must have pulled muscles from pushing her out-of-shape body too hard.
Izumi slipped her hand out of her patient's. "How are you feeling?" She asked. Azula's lips pursed as the pain undulated, up and down, like waves. "Terrible," she mumbled. "But… Better, I guess."
"Here…" Izumi took a wood cup from the bedside table. "Drink." Instead of handing the cup to her patient, the doctor placed her other hand behind the patient's head and pressed the cup to their lips.
Azula felt a twinge of embarrassment at her weakness but she relaxed against the doctor's touch and complied. She laid upright against a stack of pillows so she only had to crane her neck a little. She formed her lips around the cup's rim, her eyes still closed, and Izumi tilted the cup back.
The familiar taste of room temperature green tea, mixed with salt and sugar, coated her tongue and poured down her throat. Her dry mouth tasted like sand, cotton and metal. Now it tasted like green tea. She drank it all.
Izumi refilled the cup and repeated the process two more times. When finished, the doctor set the cup down and Azula reclined back against the pillows. She breathed a weary sigh.
"What happened?" She mumbled.
"You fainted when we brought you out here," the doctor answered matter-of-factly. "You've been out for a few minutes."
Azula groaned. Her forehead felt cold and her skin clammy despite the warm cloth on her forehead. Her mind was foggy. "I hardly remember," she sighed.
"Fainting will do that. You lost a lot of blood."
"What time is it?"
"A little after noon."
Azula moaned louder. Everything hurt, her stomach felt ill and she was immobilized by both exhaustion and pain. She knew the process: injury, pain, recovery. It wasn't going to be fast. The pain wasn't going away soon.
Her lower lip trembled and her heart sunk in despair. "I'm tired of being in pain!" She cried, her voice pitiful and choked with tears.
Just a few weeks ago, her back had been lacerated and burned by a fire whip, and she hadn't been able to sit, stand or walk normally for two weeks, and before that, her left arm had been swollen, bruised and immobilized. Even now her left hand still hurt when she flexed her fingers improperly.
Tears ran down her cheeks and there was no hiding them. Shame churned in her gut as her face twisted in an ugly grimace. She screwed eyelids tighter and bit down on her teeth to keep from sobbing in front of the woman… Again.
"I know, I know," Izumi soothed, rubbing her patient's left shoulder gently. "It'll pass. You'll feel better. Here, drink more."
After the crying teenager had downed two more cups and her sobs and tears faded, Doctor Izumi smiled. "I have something that will make you feel better," she spoke kindly, as if trying to coax an upset child.
Azula sniffled. "What?" She replied tersely, not believing it.
A bed creaked nearby and feet shuffled across the floor. "Thank goodness you're awake!"
Soft arms flung around her neck. She flinched and opened her eyes, expecting her wounds to be jostled and immense pain to follow, but the newcomer avoided her wounded chest and shoulder deftly. The embrace was gentle. Her insides warmed and her lips curved in a tiny smile. She recognized the excited, emotional voice and the black head of hair as Meilin pressed her cheek against hers.
Meilin pulled out of the hug.
Azula felt disappointed it was over.
"I was on the other side of the room," the Earth Kingdom teen began, frantically. "When, all of a sudden, I see you walking in here with Doctor Izumi and the other nurses, and you collapsed in their arms! And you were covered in bandages!" Her voice was full of anguish and confusion. "What happened?!"
Azula turned her head slowly in the direction of the Earth Kingdom teen. Meilin's jade-green eyes struck out against her caramel brown skin, rendered dark with bruising and marred by red, puffy, healing cuts that deformed her otherwise round face.
"She's been wounded and burned, Meilin," Izumi answered calmly. "She'll be okay."
Meilin's jaw dropped in dismay. "They… Did they… Hurt… You… Too…?" Her hands clenched against her belly.
Azula's tired eyes sparkled and her lips curved with pride. "No, Meilin. I hurt them."
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
A raised tray lay across her lap with an empty bowl on top, cleared of all broth and debris. One of the hospital's staff arrived and took it away. Azula reclined back against the stack of pillows, her stomach full of bland broth, vegetables and morsels of fish, along with the hospital's special green tea mixture. It had all tasted so good.
She could have fallen asleep right then and there if not for the present company at the foot of her bed.
Meilin sat on the edge of her injured roommate's mattress, her hands folded on her lap quietly, her body turned so as to have a better view her native friend's face. They were both dressed in the plain cotton gowns provided by the hospital, and while Yuki had bandages around her arms, stomach, legs and chest, only Meilin's face and arms showed signs of her injuries. The rest were concealed beneath her clothes.
The Earth Kingdom teen had just listened to her roommate recount her harrowing, if not violent, tale while eating a bowl of fish soup. Yuki's face had been mild, even excited, during the story, and her tone had been pleasant as she took mouthfuls of food while discussing how she eviscerated numerous people. The story now over, Yuki's face remained peaceful and content while Meilin's face was written in quiet concern.
Azula gazed at her green-eyed companion, her eyes half-lidded in peace. The Earth Kingdom teen hadn't said a word since she'd finished her story. Perhaps it was a lot to take in—her friend being capable of annihilating a castle full of criminals—or, maybe, there was something else troubling her…
Azula frowned. "I'm sorry about Hao."
Meilin's gaze lowered and her expression darkened.
"I wish I could have been there."
Meilin inhaled deeply and sighed. "It's not your fault, Yuki," she said sincerely, raising her jade eyes back to her roommate.
Azula winced. In some ways… It was her fault. Hopefully Meilin didn't truly blame her and was simply hiding it.
"So… How are your wounds?" Azula asked calmly, steering the topic away.
"Better," Meilin replied softly. "Doctor Izumi thinks I can go home tomorrow."
Azula's brow furrowed in discomfort. "And what about your…" She trailed off abruptly, making sure her eyes didn't fall from the teenager's eyes. "Your other wounds?"
Meilin's expression didn't change. "Better."
Azula nodded and smothered a cringe from what she had seen two nights ago.
"Did you really do all that?" Meilin asked.
The uncomfortable thoughts fled as more pleasant topics returned. Azula smiled humorously at the Earth Kingdom-turned-Fire Nation citizen. "Of course I did. I already told you." She chuckled." I didn't shoot these arrows at myself!"
Meilin didn't chuckle. The girl's quiet expression remained.
Azula frowned. "What's wrong? I thought you'd be excited."
Meilin blinked again. "Oh. Well… It's just… Aren't you… Going to get…" Her voice dropped to a whisper. "In trouble?"
Azula's frown broke into another smile. "Do you think I should get in trouble?" She teased.
Meilin remained silent, and still, until several moments later, her head shook side-to-side in a soft, tentative, childlike 'no'.
Azula's insides glowed. "Then I won't."
"But won't they come after you?"
"Who?"
"The rest of the Mori yakuza."
Azula shook her head. "There's no one left to come after me. I killed their leader, remember? And his family and kids too. They're headless now and criminals don't have the honor to avenge their fallen leaders."
Meilin winced at the reference to the kids but recovered. "Okay," she agreed uncertainly. "But what about the police? Won't they come looking for you?"
There wasn't anyone else around them and several empty beds lay between them and the next row of patients. They were free to talk about these matters so long as they kept their voices down.
"No," Azula stated firmly. "They won't know who to look for and I left none alive."
Meilin's face remained clouded and her brow furrowed in concern.
Azula chuckled and smiled with affectionate disgust at her timid friend. "Oh, Meilin," she teased. "Are you concerned that I broke the law?"
Meilin's gaze fled to her lap and her hands twisted nervously. "A little," she said meekly.
'A little' clearly meant 'a lot'.
Azula lips pursed as she suppressed a building smile, hiding the warmth that glowed within. What a perfectly meek and obedient citizen you are, afraid of the authorities and submissive to the law even in the privacy of this conversation.
"Don't be so concerned, Meilin," she chided the teenager pleasantly. "I did what had to be done, what any firebender in my position should have done. It's the local government who broke the law by allowing those scum to exist. I simply did their job for them."
"I… Guess so…" Meilin remained uneasy.
Azula's jaw dropped in mock offense. "You mean aren't glad to know someone who did something so momentous for you?"
"I… Guess so. Or, I mean," she sputtered. "No. Yes! No…" Meilin sighed and gave up, having tripped over herself as she sometimes did. She frowned dejectedly.
Azula chucked. It was funny when Meilin did that. "Come now, Meilin, be rational about this. Just a year ago you were a former slave turned foreign-born citizen. You were afraid to leave your home. Now you have a firebending friend who burned down a castle for you. Doesn't that make you proud and appreciative and happy?
And willing to keep your mouth shut, tell the others to say nothing and do everything you can to shield me if 'certain people' come looking?
Meilin's lips pursed. She didn't respond.
Azula smirked and her eyes gleamed. "I know there's bloodthirstiness in you," she spoke quietly. "You don't have to hide it. You're glad those fiends are dead. You wish you could have been there with me."
The corners of Meilin's lips began to rise and she worked to compress them. Before long, the Earth Kingdom teen's lips curved in a tight, self-conscious smile. She raised her green eyes to her friend's amber. "Yes," she admitted shyly.
Azula breathed a silent sigh. Oh, thank god. She's onboard.
Meilin's glowing expression held but it didn't take long for a shadow of doubt to return. "But you could have died," she said softly. "Weren't you scared? At all?"
Azula's brow lowered. "Mmm…" She hummed thoughtfully. "Not really. Only a few times, when things weren't going my way, but otherwise, no."
Meilin's jaw fell. She appeared utterly baffled. "How?"
"Because I knew what I had to do," Azula replied firmly. "It had to be done. I couldn't run away from it. Fear wasn't an option. If I were to be killed?" She shrugged. "So be it. At least I would have died with honor and purpose." She took a deep breath and released it as a long, depressed sigh. Her eyes lowered from Meilin's. "To be honest… Dying would have made my life a lot simpler. It's actually a bit unfortunate I didn't die."
"Don't say that."
Azula's brow wrinkled in confusion. She raised her eyes back to Meilin's. "Don't say what?"
"Wanting to die."
Azula shrugged again. "So what? It's not like I'm unfamiliar with the feeling. It would have made things simpler…" She made a certain connection. "It's not like you're unfamiliar with the feeling either." She genuinely didn't understand her friend's point.
"Yes, but I was nothing back then," Meilin explained. "I had nothing and no future. Now I do, and you definitely have more going for you than me."
Azula's eyes slipped away from Meilin's as an awful heaviness dragged her heart down. I had nothing and no future too, when I was in the asylum, but they prevented me from ending my life, until I stopped trying… Until I found something to explain it all…
"How did she convince you to help her ruin my life?!" She shouted at the snow peasant wildly.
"You've been conspiring to take me down from the day I was born!" She spoke to the hallucination of her mother in the creek. "Even when I was an infant, you saw in me something you never had: POWER! That's why you think I'm a monster! My power makes you fear me! That's why I'm going to find you mother—and destroy you!"
She closed her eyes and breathed another depressed sigh. "Anyway," she muttered. She opened her eyes and returned her gaze to her green-eyed companion's. "It really wasn't that hard. It was more of a challenging adventure." Her face warmed with a smirk. "Just the way I like it."
Meilin's expression of quiet uncertainty returned. "I still don't understand."
"Don't understand what?"
"How you were able to do it."
"I already explained. I—"
"I mean how you were able to do it," Meilin interrupted. "You're just… You're just Yuki. I know you fought those yakuza before but… But I just… I just can't… See it."
Azula's brow furrowed. What is she confused by? She felt a quiver of unease. "I'm a firebender, Meilin," she replied calmly, a bit uncertainly. "We firebenders fight and have the power and drive to accomplish what we want."
"But you're only a teenage girl like me. You aren't big and muscular. Are all firebenders as powerful as you?"
It was time for Azula's face to turn clouded. "Oh," she said quietly. "I see..." She didn't know how to respond. Most firebenders weren't like her. She was exceptionally powerful and talented, and had been trained by the greatest masters in the Fire Nation. She was also royalty, descended from the most powerful bloodline in Fire Nation history. It was true her skills had waned and her female warrior's physique had reverted back to a more 'girlish' form, but she still retained some of her skills and all of her knowledge.
Her mind raced for an answer to the question, and just as she was about to claim 'yes' and just run with it, her heart glowed with adventure. An intriguing opportunity presented itself. She knew what to say.
She inhaled a deep breath and sighed to relax, meeting Meilin's uncertain eyes with the steadiness of her own. "I suppose I owe you an explanation, don't I?"
"For what?"
"For why I'm so good at fighting." She adjusted herself against the stack of pillows to get comfortable and fell into her freshly-crafted tale. "Back in my old life, in my home town, I was training to be a town guard."
Meilin's eyebrows rose.
Azula smirked. "Starting to make sense now, isn't it?"
"Yes." Meilin nodded. "But aren't you… A little young for that?"
"Not really." She shrugged. "You can begin advanced firebending training by ten. In my case, I did start learning to fight when I was ten and I began training to be a town guard a little less than a year ago, when I turned fifteen."
"You were training to fight when you were ten?" Meilin sounded amazed and disturbed.
Azula nodded, happily. "Yes." In actuality, she had started much younger.
Meilin's jaw fell. "Why?"
"Because it's what I wanted to do. It's what firebenders do…" Azula's proud smirk faded as her mood turned pensive. "Growing up, when I was little, I became aware of my firebending abilities, and it was thrilling. As I got older, I started to feel a certain drive inside me, a desire to do things, to be something. That was the firebender in me wanting to expand and grow as fire does!" She spoke empathically, with the excitement and pride of true feelings from her long lost past. Soon, however, her smile faded and her expression turned somber.
"Around the same time, I became aware of another part of me, something that was more or less my destiny: I was a girl who would become a woman one day. I'd have to get married, have kids and be a wife and mother above all else."
Her eyes fell away from Meilin's as more true feelings took hold. That's what mother was: a mother. She might have been a 'princess' by marriage and title but she was our mother first and foremost. Even if she could firebend, I don't think that would have made much of a difference. I imagine if I hadn't been such a prodigy, father would have married me young to strengthen ties with another noble family. I'd have never been sent out into the Earth Kingdom, or been trained into the firebender and leader that I am… That I was.
She took a deep breath and sighed.
"I think I know what you mean," Meilin said quietly.
Azula's eyes lifted back to Meilin's. "… I knew my firebending made me special," she continued. "I knew I wanted to do more than just heat water, start fires, or work in a blacksmith shop if I had a job outside the home. I wanted to be out in the world doing things, so it became my goal to serve as part of my country's domestic forces, or in my case, my hometown's town guards. Women are prevented from serving in the Army and Navy, obviously; any society won't last if its women and girls are thrown away in war, but they can serve in the domestic forces, keeping them close to home and sheltered in the relative peace and safety of their homeland. Even though a firebending woman is still a woman," she stressed that last word to make the point clear. "A firebender is still more powerful than a hundred men," she ended wickedly, and studied the fellow girl's face for her reaction.
Meilin smiled softly. She seemed to understand.
Azula's brief moment of elation died. "But I still had to prove myself." She sighed. "A boy recruit is still more valuable a future town guard than a girl, so I had to make up for that with my bending. You were right; I was too young to be a town guard when I was ten, but I was recruited by them when I was fifteen. That family friend I mentioned when we went out for dinner? He took pity on me and started teaching me everything he knew about firebending when I was thirteen…
"I struggled though. I wasn't much better than the boys my own age, and who were starting to become bigger and stronger than me as well. I wasn't a large girl, either. I was scared I was going to fail. I was scared I would never be what I dreamed of, but then, one day, everything changed when I learned about…" She trailed off and paused, dramatically. "Princess Azula." She studied the Earth Kingdom teen for her reaction.
Meilin's lips twitched downward a fraction.
Whatever, Azula discounted the teen's reaction without concern. She'll come around once I'm finished with the story... She took another deep breath and resumed.
"Anyway, I had always known we had a princess, and that she was an actual heir, but that didn't mean much to me; she was still a girl who'd become a woman someday, whether she could firebend or not, like me. Her home would be the palace like my hometown was mine. But then, one day, news arrived in my town: Ba Sing Se had been captured; the Avatar had been killed; the traitor General Iroh had been captured and the disgraced Prince Zuko had become a hero; he had regained his honor, and it was all because of the princess! I couldn't believe it!" Her tone rose with excitement and cracked a bit as if she were a giddy child.
Despite the subject of her country's defeat—and the at-time death of the Avatar—Meilin's lips curved upward again, seemingly in response to her friend's joy.
"I… I couldn't believe," Azula continued to simulate 'Yuki's' glee, which was more or less an actual demonstration of her feelings. "The Fire Lord—her father—had sent her out in the world. She had traveled the Earth Kingdom, fought her country's enemies and did something no one else in history had done before: she had captured Ba Sing Se! And she was a girl, and firebender, like me! I didn't understand how it was possible! Something changed in me after that. I felt like—no—I knew I could succeed..."
Her heart started to race as she felt the thrill of her tale.
"I worked even harder after that. I became even more single-minded in my goals. Things I used to enjoy I no longer did because all I could focus on was being a firebender and fighter and leader like the princess. I wanted to be like the princess. If she could conquer the Earth Kingdom and kill the Avatar while being a teenage girl, certainly I could be a mere town guard, right?"
Meilin's cheeks rose. She appeared amused with the tale of how a Fire Nation girl took inspiration from their princess, from her example.
Azula smiled at her friend's reaction. "… And it worked. When I turned fifteen, the town guards recruited me. It would take several years of training before I could actually be a town guard but they start your training young. They even gave me simple armor to train with…"
At that moment, her expression sagged and she breathed a wistful sigh as she arrived at the juncture between her original cover story and this new addition. "Unfortunately, my firebending talents became widely known, including my youth..."
Her eyes drifted away from Meilin's in accordance with how the 'real' Yuki would feel. "My family fell into financial hardship after Fire Lord Zuko dismantled the colonies, and the only way to save the family estate was to sell my hand in marriage to someone… Well, to someone who I couldn't say 'no' to. I was horrified. I wasn't going to see my dreams turn to ashes so I could be turned into a housewife and mother at so young an age, where my firebending was only valued for how it could give birth to more firebenders and not for what it could do for me. So, I ran away from home, at great displeasure to the man I was supposed to marry. I took my armor with me to keep me safe and, well, now I'm here."
Meilin glanced down, away from her friend's eyes, her face drawn in a scowl. "I know what that's like," she said bitterly.
Azula's heart warmed by her roommate's signal that she had believed her tale.
Meilin raised her eyes back to her friend's. "Will you become a town guard here?"
"Maybe," she replied with a shrug. "Probably not, though. I'm supposed to be hiding so the people I ran away from don't find me. I simply don't want to be married to him or his family." She met Meilin's eyes sternly. "Don't reveal to Izumi or the Chens or anyone that you know this,' she warned. "They told me not to tell anyone. None of you are supposed to know."
Meilin nodded. "I won't," she swore.
Azula smiled at her green-eyed friend. Then, she smirked. "The story isn't over..." She took a short break from speaking to rest her sore ribs and aching abdomen. "When I saw you all being accosted in the town square, and when those criminals were trying to steal from us, the town guard in me came alive, so I asked myself, 'What would the town guard I was training to be do?' Of course, I didn't know how seriously they took fighting in Taizao at the time, and it might have been unwise for me to take such drastic action, but such was the strength of my desire to fight them." She paused. "… And I was also in a bad mood," she muttered uncomfortably.
Meilin grinned and chuckled. "Yes, you were."
Azula felt her cheeks flush but she smiled nonetheless. "Anyway, when the events that befell you and Hao two nights ago occurred, I didn't ask myself what the town guard in me would do. No, the town guards in Taizao had proven themselves to be corrupt cowards. I didn't want to think or be like them, so, instead, I asked myself, 'What would Princess Azula do?' Would she submit to those fiends and allow herself to be defiled by them? Would she put her trust in the police who had allowed those criminals to exist in the first place? Or, would she take action? Like she had in the Earth Kingdom? Or when she led the defense of the capital against the foreign invaders during the Day of Black Sun? I knew the answer. I knew what she would do and I acted in her example…"
She stared at Meilin for a quiet moment, planning her next words carefully. "… I guess you could say, I imagined that I was the princess last night, doing the right thing by the Fire Nation, as if she were here to help us in our time of need. Her story inspired me. She helped me become what I'm proud of today. Last night, I repaid the favor…"
At last, she fell silent, her story concluded. She leaned back against the stack of pillows, lazily viewing Meilin through her half-lidded eyes as a feeling of peace and contentment buoyed her weary spirit.
Now you know the value of Princess Azula. She's not some murderous lunatic like Katsumi wrongfully believes. Now you'll have a positive impression of her, and I can share this story with others and their minds will change too. They'll take pride in their princess again. It was her example that saved them from those criminal fiends. People should want to be like her, like me, the real me. They'll want to shield their princess if they ever found out she was in their midst, because they'll believe in her…
Meilin's lips curved upward slightly and her eyes warmed with affection. "I can see why you'd be so inspired by her," she said tranquilly.
Azula shrugged modestly and smiled. "What can I say? She's a personal hero of mine. Last night, I got to pretend I was her, although she probably wouldn't have gotten this injured."
"I'm sure you were pretty upset when you learned she was defeated, huh?" Meilin asked in a sober, melancholic tone.
Azula's glow of optimism died. Her mood darkened and her gaze fell. Her eyes tightened to a bitter scowl. "Yeah," she muttered. "I guess I was…"
"It's sad when people aren't who we think they are," Meilin said wistfully. "Like my parents selling me."
Azula didn't respond.
"Princess Azula is apparently in an insane asylum right now," Meilin said without passion, as if she were relaying bad news to a friend. "She's not in prison if that makes you feel any better, although if what the Chens say about asylums is true, then it might not be much… Better..." Meilin trailed off and winced as she realized what she had implied.
"No," Azula whispered. "It probably isn't much better."
Meilin gave her friend a reassuring smile. "I'm glad you found something positive about her, though. A lot of people don't seem to know what to think about her. It seems they either hate her… Or they're just disappointed. The Earth Kingdom doesn't really know who its leaders are. That's probably why the Fire Nation did so well against them. It's different here. Everyone seems to know who their leaders are."
Azula blinked, slowly. Hate me? Why would they hate me? I know why they'd be disappointed but… Hate? Because I… Failed them?
She didn't have the strength to speak. She didn't have the will to ask Meilin which side she was on but something in the back of her mind told her she already knew.
"Your story makes me wish I could firebend," Meilin revealed abruptly, giving an exasperated sigh.
Azula raised an eyebrow at the Earth Kingdom teen. "Really?" She asked skeptically. "After all the painful things its done to you and your homeland?"
Meilin shrugged. "Meh. I'm not from the Earth Kingdom anymore. Besides, earthbending wouldn't have helped me as a slave; there's no earth in a house or on a mattress." The Earth Kingdom teen scowled.
Azula smirked. "Firebending does make us rather difficult to hold onto."
They both shared a chuckle at the joke.
Azula's expression turned mild and her eyes drifted away from Meilin's, toward her feet where it was easier for her gaze to rest. The glow she had felt while crafting her tale—of how a Fire Citizen would come to take pride in their princess—faded. If that story doesn't change her mind about me—the real me—then nothing will…
She took a deep breath and sighed. Whatever. That's not my life anymore. Zuko can sell the Fire Nation down the river for all I care…
She relaxed deeper into the pillows until, finally, she closed her eyes to sleep. She could feel Meilin's gaze. While they had both fallen quiet, she knew for sure that the Earth Kingdom teen was staring at her sleeping face. That was all she needed know.
Footsteps approached.
"Yuki."
It was Doctor Izumi.
"Mmm," Azula hummed, her eyes still closed.
"Wake up," the woman ordered. "I need to see you in the operating room."
Azula groaned. "Do I have to?"
"Of course. Doctor's orders."
She sighed and cracked her eyelids open, and proceeded to climb out of bed. Meilin rose to help her.
"I had a message sent to the Chens letting them know you're here," the doctor reported to them both. "I didn't give any details. I figured those aren't things that shouldn't be spoken of directly." The doctor flashed a pointed look at Meilin. The Earth Kingdom teen got the message loud and clear.
Azula grimaced as she planted both feet on the floor. "Good thinking," she replied to the doctor. With both of their help, she managed to stand. Her legs were shaky.
Izumi supported her teenage patient by her not-wounded left arm and began to lead her away. "Don't worry, Meilin. I'll bring her back to you," she teased in that girlish manner she would sometimes use when being playful, and guided her limping patient out of the bedding wing toward the infamous operating room.
A knot turned in the pit of Azula's stomach. From her memories alone, she could smell the cleansing alcohol and fell the sting of its burn. Awful things always happened to her in that room.
I wonder what this is about. She gulped. I hope it's not more surgery…
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Back inside the operating room, Doctor Izumi sat her patient down on one of the small chairs and proceeded to close—and—lock the door.
Azula didn't see, or hear, the lock; her was head bowed and her eyes were closed in exhaustion and pain. "Do you need to change my bandages?" She opened her eyes and raised her head to view the doctor.
Izumi turned around. "No," she replied calmly. "I need to speak to you about something… In private."
Azula's brow wrinkled and she felt a twinge of concern. "Okay…" She watched the doctor grab another small chair, place it in front of hers and sit down.
The doctor met her eyes and didn't immediately speak.
Azula studied the woman's face. "What do you want to talk about?" She asked innocently while in the back of her mind she knew it had to involve her actions from last night. Please don't change your mind about me! The knot in her belly twisted tighter.
Doctor Izumi regarded her with a mild expression. Nothing in her eyes implied mistrust or anger. "Something has come up that you need to be aware of," the doctor spoke in a calm, clinical tone. "Now, as your doctor, I've been taking care of you these past few months. I've also reached out to my network of charities for you, despite you being wanted by a daimyo."
The doctor paused. Her silence indicated she was waiting for acknowledgement.
"Yes," Azula replied quietly, not sure where this was leading.
Izumi nodded. "I also think I've gotten to know you pretty well these past six weeks, don't you think?"
She paused again.
The knot in Azula's belly twisted solid. "Y-yes," she replied with a quiver in her voice. "I think so…"
Izumi met her eyes squarely, her mild expression turning firm. "So you know that I've had your best interests at heart and have never made wild assumptions about you, correct? I've trusted you just as you've trusted me."
"Yes. I agree," Azula replied sincerely. Where is this going?
"Okay." Izumi nodded again and continued to stare into her patient's eyes. "I must warn you; you're not going to like this, but you need to be made aware. Other people might feel differently than me. You need to be prepared."
"Alright," she stated softly. "What is it?"
Izumi took a deep breath and turned to her right. On the counter next to her was a flat piece of parchment, about the size of a public announcement flier. She grabbed the parchment and handed it to her patient. Colored ink and writing bled through the other side though it was indiscernible; the document was upside down.
Azula's brow lowered. She took the limp sheet of parchment in her right hand, turned it around to expose the printed side, and laid it flat on her knees.
She stared at its contents.
Her heart stopped.
By order of the Fire Lord, you are hereby permitted to arrest and detain Princess Azula of the Fire Nation;
She is wanted for committing violent acts against the Fire Lord and acting in general opposition to His rule;
She is wanted for escaping the lawful custody of the Fire Lord and for willfully violating His commands;
Reward for capturing Princess Azula is 50,000 gold pieces and 10,000 acres of land in the Shimozu Domain;
Princess Azula is dangerous and clever, mentally unstable and short of temper. Exercise extreme caution around her. She is a threat to herself and others;
She is prone to violent outbursts and deluded assumptions;
She is an enemy of the peace and order of the Fire Nation;
She is not afforded the privileges and protections of her royal title. She may not command you and you are permitted to disobey her;
She is wanted alive. Do not harm her more than is necessary to subdue her. Violent action against her is likely to be required;
If you have captured Princess Azula, or know of her whereabouts, report directly to the nearest military garrison or domain magistrate. If your information leads to the capture of Princess Azula, you will be rewarded accordingly;
Identifying features of Princess Azula are as follows:
Long, black-brown hair;
Amber eyes;
Beige-toned skin;
Teenage girl of attractive appearance and below average height;
Slight form, not muscular;
Smooth, confident voice when calm; shrill and cracking when emotional;
Snobbish and disrespectful manner of speaking;
Smug and flippant demeanor;
Folds arms frequently, appears bored and petulant;
Believes everyone is beneath her and worthy of scorn;
Will laugh at and provoke you as would a bully;
Smirks and grins deviously;
Generally irritable and annoying to be around;
Can bend blue flames at will; her fire is always blue;
Can generate lightning at will; will often use sparks to harass people.
Next to the column of characters was the Royal Seal of the Fire Lord, accompanied by numerous signatures and other seals denoting the flier's authenticity: Fire Sages, daimyo, Imperial ministers. Above all of that, however, was the largest and most striking feature of the printing: the words "WANTED: PRINCESS AZULA" in big, black characters above a colored portrait of her bust from the neck up: the stiff, raised collar of her field uniform she had arrived in with its gold trim visible; her long, black-brown hair pulled into a top knot—with no crown—while two large bangs hung down from either side of her forehead, framing her face in a very specific way; and her eyes—oh, her eyes—were large and wild, devious and mad, while her lips were curved in a predatory smirk. She knew that look. It made her stomach churn and her blood boil.
Azula kept her expression very carefully neutral as she took in the flier's contents. Once she had, she furrowed her eyebrows and cocked her head to one side in innocent confusion, masking her true feelings.
Snobbish? Petulant? Shrill and piercing?! Irritating to be around?! Who the HELL wrote this?! The snow peasant?! I bet he did!
She inhaled a deep breath through her nose, silently, and released it just as slow. This is… EXTREMELY DETAILED whether it is accurate or not. Oh god…
Her spine crawled.
THANK GOD they didn't say I was last seen outside Hira'a! These people all think I came from there! Why didn't they write that?! Is it to protect mother?! Is she still there?!
Her insides turned cold.
This isn't just a wanted poster. This is one sentence short of declaring me a public enemy. Good god; the descriptions: 'dangerous', 'unstable', 'prone to delusions', and that PORTRAIT! WHAT?! I… I don't look like that! This makes me look like a CRAZY PERSON! And that other part… Near the beginning…
Her eyes found it again.
She felt as if she would vomit.
'Not afforded the privileges and protections of her royal title'.
Oh god… Oh god, oh god, oh god. Does he understand what that means?
Her heart started to pound and her stomach roiled with dread.
Does he KNOW what people would do to me? Does he… Does he WANT that to happen? Oh god, I'd be at every vile man's mercy!
She took deep, silent, panicked breaths through her nose. She hoped Izumi couldn't see her chest rising up and down.
Izumi!
That was right: she had brought this to her attention. Why?!
Azula's brow wrinkled and she looked up from the flyer to peer quizzically at the doctor. "I don't understand," she said innocently, as if she were Meilin being confused by something. "Is… Is the princess… A fugitive? I thought she was in prison, or an asylum. That's what Meilin told me…"
Oh god! What does she think this has to be with me?!
"Apparently she is," Izumi replied mildly. "A fugitive, I mean. These arrived this morning. They're being posted everywhere."
Azula swallowed. I knew this day would come. Now it has. You got lazy, Azula. You should have been more prepared. Zuko will do anything to find you, to ruin you, to make sure he destroys you and any threat you pose!
"I still don't understand," Azula maintained her innocent tone. She glanced down at the flyer then back to Izumi. "You said I needed to be made aware of something. Is this it? Why does this affect me?"
THINK DUMMY! She shouted at herself. YOU ARE BACK IN BA SING SE! SHE IS LONG FENG AND ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE THE DAI LI! PLAY HER AS YOU PLAYED THEM!
Her heart leapt into her throat. Back in the Earth Kingdom, she could have been ransomed back to the Fire Nation or fought her way out, and she was a princess then, but here… She was nothing. If the Earth Kingdom violated a captured princess, the eventual retribution would have been volcanic.
Izumi's head tilted and she shot her a puzzled look. "Did you read the description?"
Azula blinked. "Yes?" She answered in a half-question.
The doctor wasn't convinced. "Give me—" She reached forward and took the flyer off her patient's lap, turning it around so she could read. Her eyes scanned the printing for a moment. "Long, black-brown hair; amber eyes; beige-toned skin; teenage girl;bends blue flames," she read from the flyer's description and stressed the 'blue flames' part.
The knot in the blue fire-bender's belly hardened into a boulder. "Yes, and?" She feigned obliviousness and made herself sound a bit frustrated. "I know I can bend blue flames. I know it makes me special. It's the reason the daimyo wanted me."
Izumi's eyes flicked up from the flyer and met hers. "Yuki, this sounds like you."
A freezing claw raked down her spine. Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! OH GOD!
Thinking as fast as lightning, she dropped her chin and shot the doctor a dull, irritated look. "You're kidding me," she said in a deadpan.
Izumi took a breath. "No, I'm afraid not."
Azula's jaw dropped and her eyes widened. "What?! Are you saying I look like a crazy person?!"
OH GOD! PLEASE BELIEVE ME!
Izumi's neutral eyes lingered on hers for a while. The woman's gaze dropped back down to the flyer. "… Generally irritable… Smooth, confident voice when calm; shrill and cracking when emotional… Short tempered—"
"I'm not short tempered!" She growled, blinded by fury at the slanderous descriptions.
Izumi glanced at her.
A knife shot through her heart. She understood the look at once and the potential gravity of her error. She scowled and looked away from the doctor to sell her displeasure, and crossed her arms unconsciously in a pout. "Well I'm not," she explained in a defiant yet calmer tone. "I'm a firebender. We have passion. There's nothing 'short tempered' about me. What a ridiculous thing to assume!"
Izumi's eyes lowered back to the flier. "Folds arms a lot… Appears petulant…"
Azula rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated, angry sigh. She lowered her arms and smothered her lips. "Yes, and?" She questioned hotly. "Lots of Fire Nation girls 'cross their arms' and are 'petulant'."
Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god! The flier is already working! PLEASE don't connect me to it! I… I don't know what I'd do! Do I… Do I KILL her? KILL EVERYONE?!
"Lots of Fire Nation girls can't bend blue flames," the doctor replied.
"Or get chased from their homes by daimyo," Azula countered.
"More than can bend blue flames, I imagine."
Azula stared at the doctor, her eyes narrowed. "Just what are you implying, doctor?" She asked shrewdly. "That I look like a fugitive?"
"I'm saying this sounds like a description of you, Yuki."
"So you are saying I look like a crazy person."
"No," Izumi insisted, with a bit of force. "I'm saying you look and sound like the princess, not a 'crazy person'," she used her own words.
A cold wind blew through her core but she didn't let it cool her simulated, and partially real, indignation. "Oh, come on." She rolled her eyes. "You're not serious are you?"
"Yes, Yuki, I am."
She dropped her jaw again and stared at the doctor in mingled disbelief and confusion. "You think I'm the princess?"
Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god! What do I say?! What do I do?!
It was Izumi's turn to gape at her in dull disbelief. "What? No. Yuki," she chided. "Please. Come on. Don't be silly. I'm a woman of science and observation. Of course I don't think you're the princess. That's preposterous. I know who you are."
Azula gazed at the woman carefully. Some of the tension eased from her belly. "Then why are you telling me that I look and sound like her?" She lowered her tone. "You're acting like I've done something wrong."
"No, no, no." Izumi shook her head. "You haven't done anything wrong but this could be dangerous for you. See, Yuki, I know who you are. The Chens and the nurses who saw your blue fire know who you are. My family knows who you are, but the others?" She shook her head again. "They're not going to see Yukirina from Hira'a when they look at you. No, they're going to see a teenage girl who looks a lot like someone who can make them a fortune, and who looks like someone who is highly desirable."
Azula scowled. "I don't look like that picture!"
"Mmm," Izumi hummed doubtfully. "You kind of do."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do."
"No."
"Yuki…"
"Fine!" She gave up. "I'll admit it, since I already told Meilin! The princess was a personal hero of mine growing up, okay? So what if I'm proud that I look like her? Or, if I want to be mean and nasty like her? That's what all the travelers to our town said she was like! We firebending girls have to have a temper and be tough! I'm upset she didn't get to be Fire Lord, okay? It makes angry! What's so wrong about that?!"
Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, OH PLEASE BUY THIS!
Izumi nodded, slow and deliberately. "I understand that, Yuki. I really do. You're far from the only teenage girl who looks and acts like this, but that puts them in danger too."
Azula's bitter expression cooled. Genuine curiosity welled and her brow wrinkled. "What do you mean?" She asked in a soft yet puzzled tone.
"Yuki…" The doctor leaned forward, lowering her tone and gazing straight into her teenage patient's eyes. "I'm going to be very, very direct with you. You're almost a woman now and you need to understand certain things. This is a very detailed picture of the princess, and it's going up everywhere. There are going to be certain men and boys who are finally going to see what the princess looks like. They're going to be drawn to her, do you understand? Do… Do you…" The doctor stammered, her brow lowered and she peered quizzically at her. "Do you understand who this person is?"
Azula chuckled. "Well of course I do! I'm not—"
"No, Yuki," she cut her off and stared even harder into her eyes. "Do you understand… Who. This. Is?" She spoke in a commanding tone.
Azula stared at the doctor, puzzled and concerned. A moment later, she harrumphed and rolled her eyes, and fought the urge to fold her arms. "Apparently, not the way you do," she muttered.
"Yuki," the doctor said her name seriously. "This is one of… The most powerful people in the world, and she is young, attractive, extremely famous and is entering womanhood, like you. Men are going to want to be with her, do you understand? They're going to look at your face and think of this one." She turned the flyer around, held it up and shook it to emphasize the princess's portrait. "They're going to look at you and what to be. With. You."
Azula cringed a bit as the doctor's message became clear, but once the shock of the doctor's unseemly reference faded, her eyebrows furrowed and she considered the doctor's concerns. "Well, that doesn't… That doesn't sound so bad," she concluded thoughtfully. "I've never had boys come up to me, let alone line up for me." She chuckled wickedly. "As long they're good-looking, I should be fine. I can handle boys." She smirked. "Even men. I'll have my pick."
Izumi blinked. She stared at the much younger girl blankly, then shut her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose in irritation. "No, Yuki," she said with a bit of consternation. "That's not a good thing."
Azula glared. "Why not?!" She growled.
The doctor lowered her hand from her face and leaned back in her chair, meeting her younger, sheltered, female patient's eyes as if she were speaking to her own daughter. "Remember, Yuki, I'm going to be direct with you. Do you remember how those yakuza asked you to be a prostitute for them?"
"Ugh!" Azula shivered and her face twisted in disgust and revulsion. "Don't even say that! That is not what they asked me to be! They wanted me to be a courtesan in the wealthy districts," she clarified.
"Courtesan, prostitute, same thing."
"No, they're not."
"Anyway," Izumi moved on. "Why do you think they wanted that from you?"
Azula dropped her gaze and glared at the woman's lap. "Because I was a proud girl and they knew it would humiliate me."
"No, that's not why. The yakuza aren't petty like that. They don't care if you're 'proud'."
Azula raised her eyes to the doctor's. "How would you know? You weren't there."
The much older woman shot her another dull look. "Yuki, I'm 44 years old. I'm old enough to be your mom. I've been living here my whole life. I know what I'm talking about."
Azula felt her cheeks warm from the obvious reprimand. She fell silent.
Doctor Izumi regained her calm composure. "I have no doubt that those yakuza looked at you and saw a young, vibrant, firebending girl who men would pay lots of money to lay with. Do you understand what that means?"
Azula glanced away from the doctor uncomfortably, her eyes tightening to a scowl. "Yes," she muttered. But that would never happen to me…
The doctor watched her patient's expression carefully. "Had you been in their clutches and these came out?" She shook the flyer again. "You'd have become worth your weight in gold. You'd have become the girl every man would go to pretend they were laying with the princess, that she was doing everything they wanted for them and that they were doing everything they wanted to her. Do you understand that?"
Azula scoffed. "Is that really so bad? People wanting to be with the princess? It's not as if she's ugly." Her scowl tightened.
Or 'crazy' like they all seem to believe.
Izumi paused. "Why did you refuse the yakuza?"
"Because it's a revolting notion and beneath me!" She raised her voice. "It's disgusting! I would never become that!" The answer was obvious; why would Doctor Izumi even ask such a thing?! She continued to scowl at the floor.
"It is a bad thing," the doctor agreed. "It would have been disgusting and beneath you, but you're not in their clutches. You and all the other girls who resemble the princess are at risk of being pursued, or kidnapped, by the people who would want that from the princess, if they actually had her."
"Pfft!" Azula scoffed again. "That would never happen. I'm a firebender. I can defend myself. I'll destroy all who touch me."
"You've been chi blocked," Izumi's voice was calm. "You know what that does."
Azula's jaw clenched and her gut twisted solid. A shiver ran through her body. "It goes away," she hissed through teeth. Her eyes narrowed and started to burn.
"It does go away," Izumi replied softly. "And you can be chi-blocked again, and again, and again."
Azula gnashed her teeth. "Who would want to be with a limp, unmoving ragdoll?!" She spat. "That's ridiculous!"
Izumi remained calm and steady. "There are ways of suppressing a person's bending without turning them limp."
Her stomach fell ill. She knew those ways. She had experienced them all at the asylum. A skilled chi-blocker could remove your bending with only a short period of reduced motor control. The asylum had plenty of those. Ty Lee had not been a skilled chi-blocker.
The doctor continued to speak. "I know you've grown up with firebending. I know it makes you feel powerful, but it's not the impervious shield you think it is. You could be abducted and chi-blocked repeatedly, in captivity, and basically spend the rest of your life as a non-bender, as a prisoner of the yakuza."
Scenes from the asylum flashed before her eyes: lying on a bed, her entire body numb and limp; wrapped in a strait-jacket, being hauled around by much stronger, male handlers; escorted around the courtyard in the few hours it took for her bending to return, before they would capture her, hold her down and block her chi again. She screwed her eyelids tight and grimaced. The images wouldn't go away.
"You would be so worn down, so helpless that eventually you wouldn't even resist them. This is what other firebenders who have experienced this have told me. You'd be their version of the princess, free to do whatever they want with for as long as they want."
A hard lump formed in her throat. She swallowed but it wouldn't go down. "That would never happen to me," she grate through her teeth. "Not in the Fire Nation."
"You remember Meilin's story?" Izumi's voice was quiet and gentle.
"She was from somewhere else!" The native teenager sneered.
"She was a teenage girl like you. That's all that mattered."
Her whole body tensed and her eyelids screwed tighter. "I'm not… A body."
"It doesn't matter. You have one, and it looks like the princess."
Azula's lower lip trembled. Two big tears squeezed through tightly-shut lids and carved tracks down her cheeks. Is this what Zuko wants? Iroh? Mother? Me to be slandered and imprisoned and abused… And defiled?
"This isn't right," she mumbled, her voice choked with tears. "The princess is an icon, a symbol of the Fire Nation. People should be afraid to defile her image. How could any citizen want to do such a thing?"
Izumi shrugged softly and shook her head. "It makes them feel powerful, I guess. It's just the way some people are. I'm sorry to upset you but this is the reality, and it's not the only thing you have to worry about..."
"Oh, wonderful." She opened her eyes and wiped away the rebellious tears with the back of her hand. "What next? I need to get married to protect my honor?" She said venomously.
"No," Izumi replied flatly. She glanced back down at the flyer. "The reward described here is… Well… It's remarkable. I've never seen anything like it. This is basically a ticket into the nobility."
"So?" Azula sniffled. "It's for the princess. Of course she's valuable."
"So…" Izumi began delicately, making sure she got her patient to listen. "This means the incentive is massive. Ambitious people might start seeing the princess everywhere because of this."
Azula raised her eyes to the doctor's and peered at her quizzically. "What does that mean?"
"Okay." Izumi adjusted herself and glanced away for a moment in thought. "Imagine this: you're spotted by some police walking down the street. They interview you and conclude that you're the princess."
"And they'd be wrong."
"Doesn't matter. They wouldn't believe you, and they won't tell you they think you're the princess if they suspect you. And if you tell them you're new here… Well… That'd just make them even more suspicious."
Azula followed the woman's logic. She nodded. "Okay. I think I understand. So I won't tell them I'm new here. I'll just tell them I'm from Taizao and devise a new story."
"How many people have you told you're not from Taizao?"
Azula's blood ran cold and her face turned white.
Izumi nodded, up and down, very deliberately as if underscoring her point. "Now you see why this is a problem?"
She closed her mouth and gulped. Oh god. She's right, as she always is!
The fugitive princess calmed her expression. "So what if the police think I'm the princess? I'm not. They'll figure that out."
"Before or after they've imprisoned you long enough to find out?"
Her gut wrenched solid again.
"In fact, they might even ship you to the capital for the Fire Lord to inspect himself," the doctor speculated. "This is serious, Yuki. This isn't some missing person or mere criminal. The Fire Nation is going through troubling times. The princess is a symbol but not the way you think. She's a symbol of the Fire Nation that used to be, that the current Fire Lord is trying to change, the one that some people want back. She's a threat to the Fire Lord and a friend to his enemies… Presumably," she added. "The Imperial Government isn't going to care about wrongfully imprisoning several, or many, teenage girls over this. Not only do they have the power to do so but they have the Fire Lord's direct orders to do so."
"Yes," Azula agreed, quietly, her stomaching churning with dread. "They do have that power…"
"So even after they find out it isn't you, it won't take long for the yakuza to find out you're in the police's custody. Hell," the woman cursed for the first time. "Some of the police might even tell them about yakuza's eyes will be on you… Again."
"But I destroyed the yakuza," she said puzzledly. "They're leaders, at least."
"No, Yuki." Izumi shook her head grimly. "There are far more yakuza than that."
A sobering wave washed through her. Mr. Chen had said there were 'many' powerful criminal groups throughout the country.
"So… You think…" She spoke carefully, making sure she understood the woman clearly. "The police will chi-block me, transport me to the capital and release me when they find out I'm not the princess?"
"Yes," Izumi replied with a nod. "That is, if they have enough of a reason to suspect you're her, which I think they will."
Azula's brow creased. "And so… You think… While I'm on my way back here… I'll be captured by criminals?"
Izumi nodded. "I think that's very likely."
She didn't respond, not for a long time. Neither did Doctor Izumi. As the force of the doctor's wisdom weighed upon her, she bowed her head and rested her forehead in the palm of her right hand, her mind swimming and her insides queasy.
Everything she's told me so far has been true. She's been wise and helpful. She's believes this could happen to me, I mean, really, REALLY happen to me. I can't just end my life, either, as per Lu Ten's orders. I have to make this work. I have to keep going…
After a while more of silent deliberation, she took a deep breath, sighed and straightened in her chair. "Okay," she said at length, breaking the silence and meeting the doctor's eyes. "What do you suggest I do? Be weary of every man, boy and town guard I meet? Never show my face in public?"
"No, no," Izumi disagreed pleasantly. "Nothing like that. What I'm telling you is that you have to keep a low profile. Things are especially dangerous for you now."
"Okay." She nodded earnestly. "I understand."
"So do you think getting into firebending battles and burning castles down is keeping a low profile?"
She discerned the woman's admonishment. Her eyebrows drew down in a scowl. "Yes," she replied tersely.
"Yuki." The doctor was not amused.
"What? I did what I was supposed to. We've been over this."
"Yuki!" The doctor's tone was sharp and punishing.
"Ugh, fine!" She relented. "I guess it wasn't," she mumbled. It was.
"No, it wasn't!" the doctor fired back in anger. "You were supposed to keep your head down and stay out of trouble! I told you this and you didn't listen!"
"Doctor..." Azula's tone shifted and she tilted her head to view the woman with affectionate disgust. "I am not going to allow criminals to walk all over me. That is simply out of question."
"Yuki…" The doctor's brow drew down and her voice turned low and threatening.
Azula blinked and she frowned in worry. She hadn't seen this look from the doctor. It reminded her of…
Izumi glared at her. "You best well better let them walk over you if you don't want to become a courtesan, prostitute, slave, or whatever you want to call it. You know, the type of thing that just brought you to tears a few minutes ago?! Is that what you want to become?!"
Azula scowled and looked away, feeling her cheeks warm.
"Answer me, Yuki!"
"Grrrrrrr!" She growled in frustration. "But what am I supposed to do?!" She turned back to the doctor.
Izumi's expression softened. The teenager had asked her a genuine question. "You trust the police," she answered resolutely. "You follow the rules. You act like any other humble citizen, which you are, versus something you shouldn't be, which is an aggressive, hotheaded teenage firebender who thinks she has something to prove. Remember who that sounds like." She tapped the portrait with her finger.
Azula scowled at the 'hotheaded' comment but said nothing. The doctor was right. She had to be more careful. She took a deep breath and sighed as her resolve to argue with the wise doctor withered… And died. "Yes," she whispered in defeat. "I know."
"No more fighting."
Azula groaned and stomped her foot lightly.
"Yuki," the doctor warned. "No. More. Fighting."
She bowed her head and gave a throaty sigh. "Fine." She lifted her head and gazed at the doctor. "Is that all I have to do?"
Izumi's steady expression faltered. "No." She spoke with pause. "There's something else. You need to modify your appearance."
"Ha!" Azula laughed. "And just how am I supposed to do that? It's not like I can change my face, my eyes or age. I'm stuck this way."
Doctor Izumi was silent. When she spoke again, her words were measured and absolutely serious. "By cutting your hair."
Azula's eyes widened. "No." Fear stabbed through her heart. She shook her head vigorously "Oh no. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not."
"Yuki…"
"I won't do it." Her heart started to pound. "Suggest something else."
"I'm not suggesting this," the woman replied calmly. "I'm telling you this has to be done. Your hair is very long and distinctive. People are going to notice."
Azula stared at the woman, her eyes wide and face strained. The doctor's face was resolute and calm. Her eyes were sincere and pleading. She wasn't lying.
My hair can't be cut. I'm a royal. They didn't even sink that low at the asylum!
"No." She kept shaking her head. "No."
"Yuki, you have to," the doctor pleaded.
Azula clenched her right hand repeatedly and her chest started to heave in growing panic. Suddenly, her logical self prevailed. She steadied her nerves and took a calming breath. "Okay," she said simply, opening her mind to the doctor's suggestion. "How much does it need to be cut?"
Maybe the doctor was only thinking of a trim, something more in line with long-haired commoners like Katsumi. Her own hair was exceptionally long; it had never been cut at the asylum; it was a good nine inches longer since she was first imprisoned. A modest shortening was in order.
The doctor gave her answer: "A bit below the ears."
Horrid, aching fear slammed into her heart like a hammer and a freezing claw raked down her spine. "Oh, no. Oh, no-no." She shook her head. "Oh no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no. I refuse. I won't do it." She leaned back in her chair hard as if that would distance her from the doctor's intentions.
"Yuki…" The doctor scooted closer.
"No!" She shook her head harder, seeing the resolve in the doctor's eyes and agreeing fully with her logic. "I won't! I won't!"
The doctor's knees were almost touching hers. Izumi opened her mouth—
"Do you have any idea how long it's taken me to grow my hair this length?!"
Izumi collected herself. "I understand your hair is important to you—"
"Ever since I was ten! TEN! It's been everywhere with me, my whole life! It's… It's… A part of me! I won't do it! I won't!
The doctor was absolutely correct. Cutting one's hair, if one had it, was an especially simple way of masking one's identity. She was also living amongst commoners, merchants and craftsman, in other words, the lower classes. They didn't have the symbolic need for such long, manicured hair as she did, nor did they have the time to manage it; she was already struggling to keep her exceptionally long tresses clean.
And she was a noble, not a commoner, as much as she was trying to blend in with them. Nobles had long hair to convey their status. If she cut it, she would be that much closer to those around her, but then she actually would be like them. She was supposed to hide among the commoners, not actually… Be like them!
The doctor was right; she should cut her hair. It was deadweight, an unnecessary risk. She needed to let go…
She continued to shake her head in frantic denial. "No… No…"
"Yuki…" Izumi reached out and clasped her patient's hands, drawing them into her own and holding them. "It'll be okay. You have to—"
"Don't say it!" She cut the woman off sharply. "I'm not going to!"
My hair is my noble birth! It's who I am! I'm hiding as a commoner. I'm pretending to be one but I'm not actually one!
"Yuki, stop. Listen to me. I know it's scary but you have to do this, just like I had to cut into your arm to remove the infection. Here, look at me, see?" She tilted her head to one side and smiled. "I have short hair. Does it look so bad?"
The doctor's brown hair ran to her shoulders and was brushed back behind her ears. Azula's eyes studied the woman's shoulder-length hair. "N-n-not that short," she stammered.
Izumi frowned. Her attempt to reassure the frightened teenager failed.
"Please!" Azula begged. "I'll just keep it tied back! No one will know the difference!"
Izumi shook her head sadly. "That won't work. The portrait shows the princess's hair tied back. You'll look even more like her."
Azula's eyes moistened as her face twisted in despair. She groaned.
"Yuki," the woman's tone was warm and gentle. "You have to trust me about this, okay? I'm looking out for you. Youhave to trust me."
Azula gazed into the doctor's honest eyes while she felt the warmth of her hands clasping her own. The tightness in her chest began to ease but tears continued to well in her ears. She blinked rapidly but they did not fall. "O-okay," she whispered uneasily, her voice trembling.
Izumi nodded softly. "Okay." She let go of her patient's hands and rose. "I have scissors here. I'll cut your hair myself."
"What?!" She panicked. "Now?!"
Izumi moved to one of the counters where a pair of polished steel scissors lay. "Yes," she answered calmly as if she were treating a patient. "Now."
Azula's lower lip quivered. "Okay," she whimpered pitifully.
The doctor's footsteps approached behind her. She felt a light tug on her hair as the doctor secured a handful and heard the metallic snip as the scissors sheared closed.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Meilin sat on her mattress alone, bored, waiting for her friend to return, her thoughts and feelings shifting between hope and despair.
Hao was gone. He was dead. Murdered, but at least she still had her friends and family at the Chen's.
At least she still had Yuki.
Did she really kill all those people?
She was a firebender after all and the Fire Nation had just waged one hundred years of war on the world. They had Agni Kais and soldiers everywhere too. They seemed to take a lot of pride in fighting. She must have killed them. It made sense…
What will the Chens think?
Yuki said she had threatened Mr. Chen! She said he had been trying to prevent her from leaving so she had done 'what was necessary'.
Will they still allow her to live with us?
She hoped so. She liked Yuki. She was funny and smart and seemed to like her too. She was the only one who could really protect her and she had already done so many times, without even thinking! She just… Did. She hoped Yuki could keep living with them. She felt safe knowing she was beside her at night. Sometimes she'd lie awake staring at her sleeping roommate's shadowed form, wondering why she rolled around with nightmares, wondering why someone like Yuki could ever have any respect for a useless nobody like her.
Suddenly, the door to the bedding wing opened. Meilin's head flew up and she spotted a male attendant leading a slender teenage patient by the arm. It was Yuki.
Yu—!
Wait.
Meilin's eyes squinted.
Yuki?
Yuki didn't look right. Her head looked smaller and her neck thinner for some reason, and her hair…
Meilin's eyes widened. Her jaw fell.
Yuki arrived with the attendant-man, limping and grimacing in pain, and with the man's help, eased herself down onto the bed. Yuki's eyes were red and puffy and her cheeks glistened with fresh tears. The attendant helped the firebender swing her wounded legs up onto the mattress and adjust the stack of pillows. The hospital man then bowed politely and departed, leaving the two of them alone. As Yuki lay against the pillows, she inhaled a sharp, shaky breath that sounded suspiciously like a sob. The firebender didn't turn to look at her.
"What happened?" Meilin slid off her own bed and joined Yuki on hers, sitting at the foot of her friend's bed to view her face. "What happened to your hair?"
Yuki's black-brown hair was cut to an even length, halfway down her neck in line with the lobes of her ears. Her hair used to fall as far as her waist, lower than her rump. Now it was parted down the middle with both halves brushed behind the ears. Her neck looked so thin and her face… So different.
Yuki's lower lip started to tremble. Her head bowed forward and her eyelids slammed shut. "I don't know want to talk about it!" The powerful girl wept pitifully, her smooth, confident voice ugly with tears.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Doctor Izumi stood in the operating room, taking stock of the same vials and medications she had been before 'Yukirina' arrived. She had just completed mending a compound fracture in a young boy who had fallen off a wall before her daughter ushered the wounded firebender inside. Other than that, and taking care of Yuki, most of her patient's seemed to have a form of respiratory ailment of some form, along with a curious fever. They didn't cough up phlegm, though.
The doctor's brow furrowed.
It might have been bronchitis associated with a cold, but it definitely wasn't tuberculosis. The fever, and mostly dry cough with no other symptoms was the strangest feature. At the end of the day, she would summarize her cases, convene with the other doctors and work on a report for the Society's local laboratory.
There was a rap on the door.
"Come in," Izumi called.
The door swung open, revealing two of her nurses, one male, one female.
"Doctor?" Nurse Lin requested.
"Yes?" Izumi answered.
"Can we have a word with you?"
"Yes. What is it?"
The female nurse shut the door behind her male co-worker and her. Doctor Izumi stopped what she was doing and turned to her subordinates. Her brow knitted at once.
They were the nurses who had assisted her during Yuki's surgery all those weeks ago. Both nurses wore puzzled, worried frowns.
"What is it?" Izumi asked.
The female nurse—Nurse Lin—rubbed the back of her neck. "You don' think, um, well… You remember that girl we took care of months ago? The one who could make blue fire?"
A chill ran through Izumi's spine. "Yes," she replied plainly.
"Um…" The nurse chewed her lower lip. She hesitated. "You know those fliers that are going around? The one with the princess?"
Izumi's chest tightened. She inhaled a deep, calming breath. "Yes," she answered with a nod.
The female nurse grinned in awkwardly, more of a grimace. "You don't think maybe that… Um… That girl was… Her do you?"
Izumi smiled brightly and chuckled. "No," she said humorously. "I don't."
Her colleagues remained puzzled and concerned. "Really?" The female nurse asked. "But her clothes… And her age… And her… Blue fire."
The doctor smiled. "I know," she agreed with her nurse, nodding. "It's all an unfortunate coincidence. Her name is 'Yuki', by the way. Yukirina. I've gotten to know her quite well over the past few months." She inhaled another deep breath and cooled her expression. "She is not the princess," she stated firmly. "I know why you'd think that but she isn't. I know where she's from. I know who she is. I understand why you'd feel this way and, I'll admit, she does kind of look like her but so do a lot of teen girls."
"But… Her blue fire," the female nurse repeated.
Izumi nodded. "Her blue fire is a gift, yes, but now it is a curse."
The two nurses appeared puzzled.
Their doctor explained. "Her firebending gift is actually the reason why she had to run away from home. Essentially, her firebending abilities attracted the attention of people who wanted her for their purposes, for certain… Marriage purposes. I can't say more than that out of privacy for her, but I think you know what I mean."
At that, both of her subordinates nodded. "I see," the female nurse replied.
The face of the male nurse, however, remained clouded. "What about the clothes she came in with? They looked like… I don't know… Armor?"
A cold spike drove through the doctor's heart. The clothes, armor, costume, whatever they were called, that Yuki had come in with this morning, were stuffed into a sack and hidden under a desk in her personal office. "Yes," Izumi answered simply. "It was a costume. A rather detailed one from her home town. She stole it from their local player's house. Even though she stole it," she emphasized. "It's still a costume. I had that confirmed by a friend."
A lie.
The male nurse's lips compressed into a slanted line but he nodded. "Okay," he accepted the answer from his Capital-trained superior.
Izumi let out a silent breath.
"What did you mean her blue fire is a 'curse'?" The female nurse inquired.
The doctor stared at her nurse seriously. "It will make people think she is someone she is not. You know what's going on this country, Lin, how important the princess is. Yuki doesn't need that kind of attention. In a better world, girl's like her could bend blue fire and we'd all be proud of them, but now, they can't dare show they have it. Men, criminals, the government, they'll just use Yuki's blue fire as an excuse to imprison her, treat like the person she isn't, or recruit her for their nefarious purposes. I'm serious, you two. This is dangerous. You can't let your imaginations get away from you."
The nurses gulped as their superior took a berating tone.
"In fact," the doctor continued. "Yuki is here right now."
The nurses eyes widened. "What?" Nurse Lin said in dismay. "Again? Why?"
The doctor steeled her expression. "She survived an attempted rape last night, just like her friend Meilin."
Another lie, although in Meilin's case, it wasn't.
The nurses jaws dropped again and Nurse Lin's face crumpled in anguish.
Izumi's eyes switched between her two nurses' faces. "And the people who attacked Yuki didn't even know she looks like the princess. Now do you see why this is dangerous for her?"
The nurses nodded.
"Don't go telling anyone about her," she ordered. "I don't want the government thinking some teenage girl that I—and all of you—have been taking care of is a fugitive. I have no desire to see this hospital's functions be impaired by mere assumptions. We have enough problems to deal with as is."
The nurses nodded again. "Yes, doctor," they spoke in unison.
Doctor Izumi returned to her assortment of medications and vials. "Thank you for coming to me first," she spoke evenly. "You two are excellent nurses."
"Thank you, doctor," they replied together.
"Is that all?"
"Yes." The nurses bowed their heads. "Doctor," they bade farewell and departed.
After the door had closed, Izumi continued playing with the items on the counter, pretending as if she were actually doing anything with them. A few seconds later, she leaned into the counter, closed her eyes and breathed a long, tense sigh…
… As a two ton komodo rhino sat on her shoulders.