Authors' Note: Well, coauthor Lois is still furloughed until at least the 13th of June. At least she's finally getting unemployment - six weeks after she was first eligible for it. Ah, Florida. Coauthor Anissa has no firm date to return to business as usual. Her job appears to be continuing the alternating shifts through the months of June. We also both went and donated blood today. By the next chapter update, we should know if the wicked colds we had the first week of March were actually COVID-19.
Jay woke up to the damn phone chirping at him again. He glowered, looking at the window; the sun was low already. Fucking Gotham winters. He and Kala had been physically and emotionally worn out after their sparring session turned confessional, so they'd gone back to bed. Now it was late afternoon. The days got too damn short, this time of year, and the nights way too long.
At least he was warm; Kala had half-burrowed under him, and half-pulled him over her, so he almost felt like he was the one being used as a Snuggie. Jay chuckled, remembering that argument last night. Solar-powered Snuggie, of all the things to call a Kryptonian.
Still, he took a moment to kiss her shoulder. Kala usually wanted him wrapped around her like this when she'd had a hard day, and last night to this morning certainly counted. Grabbing the phone, he noticed it was another number he didn't recognize, and answered it with a growl. "Gotham City Morgue; you stab 'em, we slab 'em."
Babs sounded as dry as ever, even without the encryption. "Black humor, and you still sound half asleep? This bodes ill for everyone."
"Black humor is the only kind on tap. What's on the schedule tonight?" Jay asked.
"Rounds are suspended," she told him, and Jay sat all the way up at that, Kala giving a startled sound at being unexpectedly jostled awake. But after a moment, looking bleary-eyed and a little frazzled, she was upright and listening in with a frown. "Come on in, as soon as you can. We need a general debrief."
"Shit, I do not like waking up like this," Jay grumbled, but he did get out of bed.
"At least it's a little less urgent than the last couple times," Babs offered, and broke the connection.
Before he was even off the phone, Kala was up and moving, wide awake even in such a short time. That she could do that was almost a separate superpower. "Dare I even ask how bad?" she asked, grabbing clean clothes from his drawer and putting them on. She was out of shirts – here, at least – and stole another of his. The stuff she had for the week was still stashed in her luggage back at the Manor.
"No telling, but if it's not urgent, it can't be that bad," Jay said philosophically, getting dressed in street clothes. "At least by now, Harley and Ivy are definitely gone. Been hours since their flight. Hopefully half-across the country, or out of it. One less problem for the two of us to worry about."
That earned him knowing look, both hope and a little worry there. After last night, they had to let it go. It would be what it would be, at this point. They both knew that. She gave him what was clearly a shrug of forced nonchalance before she looked away to shimmy into her jeans, quickly pulling on her boots. "Here's hoping they can both manage to steer clear of trouble, for everyone's sake."
Jay grabbed her coat and his from near the door. "Yeah, me too. Let's fly, Supergirl."
This flight felt utilitarian, none of the showy speed she so clearly enjoyed. Kala took them up first, clear of the city, and then over and down, landing at the front doors. A moment later they were all gathered in one of the parlors, and Bruce pressed a button that made a huge painting slide sideways, revealing a monitor.
The green mask of Oracle showed up, and Babs' digitized voice came through to them. "Everyone present and accounted for?" she asked.
Jay glanced around; Bruce, Selina, Dick, Tim, Donna, himself and Kala, even Alfred. The only ones missing were Helena, Dinah, Roy, and Lian. Bruce answered the question, "Yes, assuming Canary, Huntress, and Arsenal plus one are with you."
"They are. Given what we now know, I'm going to have them remain here. It's slightly more secure at the moment," Babs said.
"Well hell, what happened now?" Jay asked, and hoped Ivy and Harley hadn't been apprehended. At least they knew Selina hadn't snuck out. She was standing close to Bruce with Miss Kitty in her arms, petting the cat worriedly. Kala leaned against Jay's shoulder, listening, those amazing eyes of hers troubled.
Babs' response was quick, though it sounded reluctant. "We ran the data on the fire. The official channels will take a few days to come to the same conclusion, but it's clear to us. The fires started in three classrooms: Mrs. Seebol, Ms. Harlow, and Mrs. Petersen."
Everyone startled at that, but Jay's own reaction was the strongest. The part of him that he once thought had really died – the boy who'd become Robin, bright with hope – now sprang up in wrath. How dare he! How dare that murdering fucking clown start taking shots like this! Joker might as well have danced on a younger Jay's grave, and it made him want to throttle the fucker right now, consequences be damned. Nothing was safe, nothing was sacred. It wasn't enough to murder Robin, Joker had to go take a potshot at young Jason Todd, too. No part of his life was untainted.
"Fuck!" Jay snarled, startling half the room. "Goddammit, Ms. Harlow was my favorite teacher! I had her for home room my last year, and English Lit the year before. She's gonna be heartbroken, she always had students' poems and stuff tacked up to the supply closet." Kala didn't say a word, but he felt her catch his hand in a reassuring grip, watching him worriedly.
"Mrs. Petersen was my homeroom teacher for senior year," Dick said, his voice rough.
Babs continued grimly. "It's obviously not random. Those classrooms weren't the logical starting points to create the letters he wanted to spell out. Ms. Harlow is in the very tip of the plus sign – if he was just going for the aerial view, he would've started that fire in the center of it. They were chosen deliberately, to send a message."
"He knows. Joker fucking knows all of us," Jay said hollowly.
"He knows the immediate family," Babs corrected. "He does not know any of our friends from outside the city. And we're keeping it that way. No one among the general public knows who exactly is visiting us for the holidays. Everyone else should be safe. He's our problem."
"Just like he always was," Jay said.
Bruce sounded stoic as ever. "What's the status on our guests?"
"I'm leaving in three hours," Donna said, glancing at Dick.
"Arsenal was planning to stay until January fourth. He's staying with me until his flight leaves," Babs added. "He also has an invite to the gala. Which begs the question: are we attending?"
At that, Jay saw Kala tilt her head, but didn't wonder why. "What gala? There's a gala this week?" she asked with real curiosity.
Everyone looked at Jay like it was his fault somehow. He shrugged, and Bruce answered for him. "The Wayne Enterprises Holiday Masquerade Ball, tomorrow night. It's another major event benefiting charity that's done every year. All of us normally go. Jay didn't tell you?"
"Jay hasn't had time," Jay shot back. "Been a little busy since she flew in. Also, not like I went last year. No one gave me an invitation."
Bruce looked at him steadily. "You're family. You're invited. But you're right, we should've communicated better."
"It's fine. At this point, bad communication is a given and almost a tradition. See Jay's birthday," Kala said with a cheeky little grin, arching a brow at him, and he elbowed her. All things considered, he knew she wasn't really up to jokes yet, but for them, she was trying. Give Kala credit for taking a shot at levity, with the situation what it was.
"Maybe we should delay it," Dick said thoughtfully, sidestepping that whole deal.
"And let Joker know we're scared?" Selina cut in. "If we delay it, people will wonder why. There's no plausible reason for the Wayne family to be worried about Joker."
"The sheer logistics of delaying it at this short notice would be difficult," Babs said. "The venue's already secured, caterers are prepping … it would be newsworthy, if we tried to change it."
"I just don't wanna be the mayor from Jaws," Dick said.
"Changing the date won't change the threat, either," Bruce put in. "He wanted us to know that he knows, right before the event. We'll let the gala go ahead, but we should consider whether or not to attend. If this is aimed at us, he may want us to cancel our appearance there."
"Also newsworthy, but everyone knows how eccentric the Waynes are," Babs said.
"What would be Joker's angle in trying something at the gala?" Tim asked, his brow furrowed as he chased down possibilities.
"Take a potshot at all of us? Force us to reveal our identities?" Jay hazarded.
Selina shook her head. "I doubt it. I was just telling Dick and Donna this last night – Joker has more fun if he can dangle it over your heads. If he just tells someone, or forces you to tell people, then the cat's out of the bag and everyone knows. Right now, only he and the family know. But you're all worried about what he'll do."
Bruce rubbed his chin, and Jay noticed he looked a little stubbly. Late nights and early mornings, not enough time to properly sleep, and he started to look rough. Finally, Bruce said, "That might be his purpose. Frighten us into staying home from the gala, and then arrive here."
"And maybe set the house on fire. He's liking arson lately," Tim said with a scowl.
"On that note, I'm calling in some favors," Selina said. "If Joker might come here, the cats have to move. I won't have them in his line of fire."
"Where else are you gonna put thirty-something cats, Selina?" Jay asked.
She smiled at him. "You own your whole building, don't you?"
That provoked a burst of sudden laughter from Kala, who glanced at him with dancing eyes. His girl knew all too well how that was going to be received. "Oh God, here we go."
Jay just groaned. "Aw, fuck. Come the fuck on, Selina! I'm not set up to babysit for the whole goddamn horde!"
"A group of cats is called a clowder. I'd owe you for it. And I always pay my debts." Selina arched a brow.
Jay remembered how much smoother things with the kids had gone, with her connections. Plus there was something to be said for having the most infamous thief in the world on retainer. And most importantly, he had to admit that he couldn't let that little fluffball Norway be in any danger whatsoever. "Deal. But you owe me big, Selina. Steal the Declaration of Independence kinda big."
Kala elbowed him, leaning away slightly to give him an irresistible scolding look. For a few seconds, he could forget about the sobering situation that they were all finding themselves in just with a teasingly exasperated little smirk of hers. "It's thirty cats on one floor of your multi-floor, almost completely unused building. Stop pouting, Red. We can handle it for a few days, as long as Selina can negotiate with them like she did here. It'll be fine."
Selina, however, just chuckled. "I could have the Declaration here in a week. No, wait, New Year's is a holiday. Eight days."
"I don't want the Declaration. I'm just saying, don't think you can swipe me a Snickers bar and call it good," Jay warned.
Bruce cleared his throat. "So you're just going to negotiate criminal activities right in front of me?" he asked, his expression more amused than anything else.
Jay looked at him, nonplussed, and Babs spoke up. "Talia called him to negotiate the kryptonite bust. Why not? If it's legally wrong and morally right, Jay's the go-to."
Selina smirked with a ghost of her usual humor. "Making deals with Daddy-Bats' significant others. Next thing you know, Jay, you'll have a Super for a best friend and backup … oh, wait. Already kinda covered that."
"Back on task," Bruce said graciously. "Postponing the gala leads to too many questions. The point here is deciding whether to attend the gala. I don't expect Joker to show up there, for one main reason: he doesn't know Harley has left town. He wouldn't want to land in Arkham while she's still free."
"So do we go, or stay, or split the team?" Dick asked. "It's a public event. We have to be careful who stays, and who goes."
"First principles: what does Joker want?" Bruce asked aloud.
"He wants Harley," Babs said. "And this is Joker, so he has fallbacks on fallbacks. If he can't get Harley, he'll take Selina – or Hood. Now, what would he do, knowing about the gala and knowing about us?"
Donna cleared her throat. "I'm not in the business of predicting madmen. But the smart thing for sane people to do would be not to attend the big public event."
Babs chuckled dryly. "Yes, but Joker is intelligent. He knows that's the smart move. Would he expect us to do that? Or would he know that we know that he knows that's the sensible notion, and expect us to do the opposite?"
Bruce crossed his arms. "We can chase that circular logic all night, and it won't matter. There are only six possibilities to consider. Joker does not know which building Jay is in, or where you're based, Oracle. So it's us, him, and the house or the gala. He has no element of surprise, we're going to expect him somewhere. If we're at the gala and Joker goes there, he could force us to reveal ourselves. I tend to agree with Selina, I think it's unlikely. If we're not at the gala and he goes there, it has no more value than any other public event."
"Sounds like he probably wouldn't go to the gala, then," Roy mused.
Nodding, Bruce continued, "If we're at the house and Joker comes here, he can try to take us, reserving his knowledge of our identities to torment us with. If we're at the gala and he comes here, he can burn down the Manor – and he'll expect Selina's cats to be here. Since her relationship with Bruce Wayne is common knowledge, this is the logical place for her, and them, to be."
"Which is why Hood has so graciously chosen to babysit," Selina said, with another smirk at Jay. He just shook his head.
Bruce continued, "The last two possibilities involve splitting the team. If we split up, and he goes to the gala, he can deal with reduced numbers, but he knows we have at least one member of the team who is very fast and may be able to cover both locations. If we split the team, and he comes here, it's the same reduced-numbers situation."
Tim mused aloud, "The advantages of coming to the house are mainly that he can choose who witnesses the conflict, so he can keep his knowledge secret. And that he doesn't have to deal with law enforcement or civilian interference."
Jay sighed, because he had to be the bloody-minded one as usual. "This place is practically a fortress. If I was Joker, and I thought we were all too righteous to be as smart as me, I'd think we would have to split the team. And he doesn't have a lot of respect for Selina. He'd think she would want to stay here, with the Manor's security. We all know he likes spectacle. If he wants a chance at Selina, letting us know that he knows who we are would make us split up, and then he'd come at the house. There's no such thing as impenetrable security, after all."
"Well, that settles it, I'll be your plus-one at the gala," Selina said, trying to keep her tone light and failing to hide the brittle note in it.
"So we all go to the gala," Bruce said, his eyes alight. "Get the cats out of the house, send Alfred to Leslie's, and fully automate the security systems. Rig the entire house for knockout gas. And then just wait. He'll know we're all on the guest list at the gala, so he'll come here expecting to find just Selina and Alfred."
"Turn the whole place into a trap, and once it's sprung, we can slip out of the gala and come in with gas masks to round him and his boys up," Dick said, sounding excited. "We could actually catch him without even being here."
"If we guess wrong, and he does come to the gala, we need a plan for slipping out," Jay said. "Venue blueprints, escape routes, all that."
"Roy and Lian should sit this one out." That was Dinah's voice, picked up by Babs' microphone. Roy was too far away to hear clearly, but even muffled, the tone of protest was plain.
"I'll second that," Babs said. "Sorry, Roy, you're officially a hereditary Bird of Prey, and I'm calling my flock home. It's not just for Lian, it's for me – I don't mind a little extra security. We have no evidence that Joker knows where I am, or that Batgirl became Oracle, but in his case, paranoia is prudent."
"Plus, having you guys over there gives us a backup team he can't anticipate," Jay pointed out. He privately thought this was Babs just soothing Roy's ego to keep him out of the fray. All of them were territorial like that, and Jay couldn't help sharing the feeling. With Lian to consider, Roy had to stay safe. Roy grumbled about it, but acquiesced.
Dick was the next to speak up. "Well, there goes my plan. I was going to invite Dinah to the party as my date."
K had fallen silent again, just taking in the plans as they built until then, but she burst out laughing at that along with most of the rest. "God forbid Dick Grayson goes to a party without a date," she added with the sunshine smile finally back in force, still chortling. Despite everything else going on, that was a joy to see again, especially right now.
Jay could see that statement for another moment of levity they all needed, but it also made some tactical sense. "Geez, Dick, ask out your ex's girlfriend on your ex's phone call. Real smooth. Gotta say, I wouldn't mind having another ass-kicking specialist at the party."
Dick just shrugged. "What can I say? I do love a woman in uniform."
Dinah leaned toward the mic, and said, "Sure, I'll play cougar. I was going to try and get myself invited anyway. With Roy and Helena here, Babs has backup, but I can be her eyes and ears on-scene."
"You're not old enough to be a cougar," Dick protested.
"Flatterer," Dinah laughed.
"Wear something blue, she'll pick you up at eight," Babs quipped. "Jay, are you and Kala going, or holing up in the bunker?"
He'd been pondering that since this began. "With Kala's speed, it doesn't matter where we are – we still have the fastest response time," he said. "So why miss a chance to dance with my girl?"
The smile he got for that was slow and warm and playful. Thank God for exasperated amusement and her sense of humor. If it had been Donna back in the day, she would have swatted him. "Does that mean you're actually asking me, Mr. Todd? Seeing as how I'm completely unprepared and I don't even have a dress for this."
"Wear the birthday-present dress; it's still back at my place," Jay suggested with a shrug. Somehow the two of them were the bright point in all this, right alongside Dickie-Bird. Might as well roll with it, even if he couldn't figure out when they'd become the comic relief. "And yeah, I'm asking you. Wanna go to the gala with me? Eat a bunch of fancy hors d'ouvres, dance the night away, maybe kick a clown's ass?"
Her eyes sparkled. "When you propose it like that, how could I possibly resist? I can't imagine a more romantic evening."
Everyone was amused by that, and Jay just shrugged. "It's a masquerade anyway. No one knows you're gonna be there – hell, no one knows for sure I'm gonna be there, but it's a good guess. On the civilian side, there's no record of you even coming to Gotham."
"So I get the great honor of being your completely anonymous arm-candy. Got it," Kala said teasingly before sounding a little more practical. "I mean, it should be perfectly fine. I've only gone out in public with you here twice, and never dropped my name either time – never got spotted by paparazzi even when not masked, either. It should be safe. Now for the most important question we haven't discussed, are we sure Alfred is going to be okay?"
She turned toward him when she asked, and the butler smiled. "I do hate to impose on Dr. Tompkins, but very few people are aware of our relationship. She is not known to be involved with super-heroic situations, as well. I ought to be safe."
"Then we need to get started planning and rigging the house for sedative gas," Bruce said.
"And I need to start rounding up my darlings," Selina said, patting Jay's arm. "Where do you want me to put them?"
"Hell, none of the floors of that building are furnished or occupied. We can put them anywhere. I think the tenth floor is the most open." Jay had never had to think about housing a slew of animals; he found himself unprepared for it.
"We're going to need some furnishings for them," Selina said. "You can't just dump thirty mostly-unrelated cats into an empty space, no matter how big it is. They'll pick fights. If they have cat trees or boxes to hide in, they can avoid conflict."
Kala sighed. "And we don't want to go to the store and buy a dozen cat trees. Might as well send up a flag saying 'Catwoman was here'. I guess I'm on requisition duty, since I can fly."
"I'll help you with that," Donna said. "I'm not quite as fast, but I can make some local purchases. And you'll need a hand moving all the cats."
"Yeah, no stealing an SUV this time," Jay said archly, looking at Selina.
She just smiled. "I'm sure Bruce will let me borrow a vehicle. Right, handsome?"
Bruce only sighed. "Jay, I'll need your help here. We're going to have rig additional sensors. I'll have some of the gas on automatic dispersal, and some of it controlled remotely by a hard-encrypted device."
Jay saw the writing on the wall, and pulled out his keys, handing them to Kala. "The master key is on there. Go be a cat-wrangler."
She smiled brilliantly, and he remembered the times over the summer when he'd insisted on being the one to lock up the bunker when they were finished. Jay's training had left him with a strong imperative to trust only himself with anything critical – but hell, if he couldn't trust Kala, who could he trust? His building was objectively more secure with her there and all the doors open, than it would be locked up tightly. "You sure?" Kala asked, giving him an assessing look.
She knew what that trust meant from him, and she didn't judge him for being a paranoid asshole. Jay didn't have the words to tell her how much it meant to him, so he made a joke instead. "Yeah, I'm sure. Just don't put up wallpaper or anything."
"Not really my style," Kala chuckled, and took the keys. He figured she got the gist, anyway.
…
When she had left to visit Dick for the holiday, this had not been even close to an activity Donna had been expecting to be involved in. Then again, life had a way of being wholly unpredictable, usually even more so than usual in her case. That thought in mind, Donna stopped in the middle of putting together the fourth cat tree, and looked at Kala. "This is kinda weird, isn't it?"
Her partner in the current task gave a soft snort of amusement at that. "I gotta say, not how I thought I'd be spending the evening, but honestly, not the weirdest assignment I've been on." Kala smirked at her; she'd gone all out, and brought back an enormous adjustable cat tree that reached the ceiling. Currently she was installing the top platform, nonchalantly hovering a couple feet off the ground.
"I'm kinda of worried to ask what the weirdest was," Donna said.
Glancing for at her, Kala laughed softly. "Oh, it's harmless and cute. The weirdest of all was the one where I went back in time with the Legion to do them a favor, and we happened to be at the same date as Dad's first interview with Mom. I got to see my parents a couple years before I was thought of, being adorably sweet and flirty. It's so weird to see your parents that young, and they were absolutely giving me cavities with the cute."
"According to the JLA, they still give everyone cavities," Donna laughed.
Kala snickered again. "That said, the most recent weird mission was that, to establish Blur's presence in Gotham, Bruce sent me after a pickpocket. Who turned out to actually be Tim in disguise. The absolute most awkward thing I've ever done in my life. And, honestly, that's saying something."
It was such an honest reply that it took Donna by surprise. She hadn't expected this much honesty from Kala, who not that long ago had actively disliked her. Apparently she'd gotten her father's forgiving nature along with his powers. In the end, she just groaned. "He is such a control freak! Diana never did anything that ridiculous to me or Cassie."
The young Kryptonian gave a shrug at that. "Bruce is more territorial. Gotham is his city, and he doesn't want anyone working here that isn't trained to his standards. I didn't like it, but I eventually understood it. Honestly, Jay was worse. He was literally trying to chase me out of town – until he realized Supers don't run."
"I guess we're not as hung up on it," Donna mused. "I mean, Cassie's home base is Gateway City, I mostly stick around Boston these days, and Di's got DC for the most part. We all travel, though. Nothing's too far if you've got flight."
"Dad's the same way. Metropolis is our city, but he and I go everywhere. Once you've seen the world from orbit, all of it looks like home." Kala said it offhandedly, as if the statement should be self-evident. To her, apparently, it was.
Donna glanced at her again. A year ago, she never would've expected philosophical discourse from the girl she thought of as a dilettante. Kala was young, and she still needed more experience to add to the rigorous training she'd gotten over the summer, but she was nothing like the dangerous firebrand Donna had imagined her to be. "I'm really glad I managed to make things right with you," she said gently.
Kala gave her a wry smile. "Wait 'til we have to work together on something serious. I'm sure you'll find reasons to be frustrated with me all over again. Jay's starting to get upset because I have a tendency to run ahead and dive in."
"Well, that's what you are," Donna said. "All of us metahumans are like that, in a way. We know our strengths, we know our powers, we know our limited vulnerabilities. It can be frustrating for our human friends and allies, but we spend most of our working hours jumping in front of the humans to protect them. How can anyone be surprised that it's our first reaction to working with them, too?"
Kala landed with a sigh, inspecting her work. They were almost ready for Selina to bring over the cats; they'd set up food and water first, then put out boxes for cats to hide in and a variety of scratching surfaces. A huge cat tree – or two – in each apartment gave additional perches and cover. Selina also had the fancy automated litter-boxes, which to Donna's surprise didn't have any unpleasant odor even to her enhanced senses.
"Jay worries about me getting hurt," Kala said. "And I worry about him. He's … not reckless, not really. But he's been hurt enough."
Donna bit her lip for a moment, studying the screw she was tightening. "Jay … yes, he's been hurt too much. Including by me."
"The details of that are none of my business," Kala hurried to say. "It messed with my head when I found out about you and Jay, but it's really none of my business."
"It's like a workplace romance," Donna said. "We all have to work together, so everyone has to deal with the fallout from breakups. Jay and I … it was messy. Mostly my fault. I think you're probably better for him. And I care enough about him to want him to be happy. So it's none of my business, either. Just … be careful. He gets his hackles up, sometimes, about being protected."
Kala bit her lip. "Yeah, so far so good. My issue was, I spent a lot of time during training, worrying that he was comparing us. And you're the model Titan."
Donna leaned back from her work, catching Kala's gaze directly. They were of a height, but Kala was more delicately built – not that it mattered, both of them had strength beyond mere physicality. "Kala, even if he was thinking something like that, you measure up just fine. Against me, or anyone else."
The Kryptonian took a deep breath, and let it out in a sigh. "Thank you. I just … I started out late in this, you know? I never actually planned to do it at all. I just came in to save Jason's bacon, because that's what I always do. We've always looked out for each other, right back to grade school. But there were issues – I wasn't ready, and he was. Besides, neither of us wanted to start our career as 'the twins', we wanted to be individuals. And on top of that, there's Dad's identity to consider. Me standing aside was the sensible option."
Donna crossed the little distance between, and gently took Kala's shoulders. "You don't owe me an explanation, Kala. You never should've felt pushed into this. If you being part-time was really a problem, someone should've sat down with you and explained it. Not ripped your head off in front of the team."
Kala looked troubled. "That's not what you did, Donna. I know I don't owe you, but if you're gonna be honest with me, I might as well be honest with you. Someone other than Jay should have the story straight. A lot of people aren't going to think he's objective. But I wouldn't be with him if he wasn't."
"It is what I did. I hate that he's right about this, but I'm a control freak, Kala. Every time a little chaos enters my life, things go absolutely to hell." Donna smiled sadly at her. "I tend to overcompensate because of it, now. That's not your fault, and you shouldn't have suffered for it."
"I get it. No one in this business does it for long without developing some issues. I forgave and forgot, Donna, we're good." Kala spoke earnestly.
Donna just nodded. "About the other thing – I know there's a lot of loose talk in the Titans. I'll work on that, and it won't sound like it's because of you. We're all in this together. The last thing we need is to start sniping at each other."
"Amen to that, but I'm mostly good," Kala said, smiling. "I've got at least one person I know who believes in me."
"And he's not easy to impress," Donna said with a grin. That got both of them chuckling.
…
Selina pulled up shortly after Donna and Kala finished getting things ready, and she walked breezily into Jay's building like she knew her way around. "Superpowers get to bring in the big carriers," she said lightly, setting down two small carriers along one wall.
"I can't wait to meet the serval," Kala said brightly. Serious conversation with Donna or not, she was still delighted that Jay trusted her this much.
"Good, he's in the navy blue carrier," Selina said, and they got to work.
Kala couldn't help a snort of surprise when she saw the van Selina was using, a solid white windowless panel van. "God, Uncle Bruce had something like this? What does he use it for? It looks like it should have 'Free Candy' spray-painted on the side. That's the scariest thing I've seen him own, and I've been in the armory."
Donna snickered at that, and Selina laughed too. "It's the surveillance van. He's got a ton of magnetic signs to stick on the sides – florist, electrician, house painter, whatever. All he needs to do is sit behind the wheel in coveralls with some takeout, and people think he's a tradesman taking a lunch break. He gets an hour or two sitting in plain sight without being noticed. And apparently there are sophisticated cameras hidden all over the thing, too. I spotted the ones in the license plates, and in the side mirrors, but knowing Bruce there are more."
"Smart – but we all know he is," Kala remarked, and picked up the big navy-blue pet carrier. She tried to peer inside, but all she saw were two pairs of reflective eyes before a deep growl warned her not to get too personal. "Yikes, sorry," Kala said, and carried it up.
The three women soon had all twenty carriers lined up, and Selina made sure they were facing the main feeding station. "Are all the windows closed, locked, and barred?" she asked.
Kala had anticipated that question. Jay had central heat and air, and she'd turned the HVAC settings up for this floor to get more circulation. "Always, this is Jay we're talking about. I think the windows might be nailed shut."
Selina sighed, looking over her charges. "I hope this doesn't go on too long. This is not ideal living space for them – they've got their own floor in my building, and access to the roof and fire escape, but I keep them off the streets. They're not used to so many moves and changes."
Donna shrugged. "If I had Diana's rapport with animals, I could try to reassure them, but that's one of the powers only she has."
Selina smiled at her. "Cats are fairly adaptable. They should settle all right. Thank you for the offer, though. I appreciate the sentiment."
Kala stood back, watching, as Selina went to the first carrier. Jay had told her about the flood of cats, and for her own amusement she wanted to try to count them. It seemed hard to believe that Selina had managed to corral all of them in just a couple hours. Then again, she was Catwoman.
A veritable tide of cats poured out as Selina let them loose. One of the first handful out were the five sisters Kala had met at the Manor, and Norway ran right over to Kala. Standing on her hind feet, the small fluffy cat braced her forepaws on Kala's knee and gave a demanding maow. "All right, spoiled, I'll pick you up," Kala said, bending down to scoop her up. Norway snuggled in her arms, purring extravagantly.
Donna had leaned against the wall, watching the cats explore, and Kala heard her say, "Well hello there," in surprised tones.
She and Selina both looked, and Selina chuckled at the sight of brown tabby perched on Donna's shoulder already. "That's Belle. She picked Dick as her favorite person at the Manor – she's very outgoing and friendly, just like him. Also she could climb embossed wallpaper as a kitten."
"No wonder she's this forward," Donna said, reaching up to pet the tabby.
Norway noticed that Kala had stopped rubbing her chin, and softly patted her hand with a low murr. "Oh my God, sorry I forgot to pet you for half a second," Kala laughed.
Selina turned back to the carriers, but asked Kala, "So, do you want six cats? Because as much as I love the sisters, Norway really likes you and Jay. Or at least two cats. The other four would be all right, but Fraidy needs Norway to keep her social."
Kala sighed, the cat in her arms purring hard enough that she felt it resonate in her chest. "I wish I could take her. She's so sweet, like a fuzzy little bonbon. But it's no life for a kitty-cat, being on tour six months out of the year."
Selina shrugged. "Maybe I'll talk Jay into it."
"He's not great with animals, but she'd keep him company when I can't be there," Kala mused.
Selina fell quiet, concentrating on the order in which she released the cats. The next big carrier held the serval, and Kala gasped at how beautiful he was. Smiling, Selina told her, "Franklin's gorgeous, isn't he? He's also very slightly bowlegged from having rickets as a kitten. Cats cannot live on a diet of pure meat. They need the calcium in bones. Cat food has the right supplements, but this lady was raising him on straight raw meat. He still gets a little extra, but he also get bones like the rest of them."
"Wait, I've heard of giving bones to dogs, but not cats," Donna said with a frown.
"It's good for their teeth. You have to be careful; raw bones only, from a trusted source. I get turkey and chicken necks for these guys. Franklin there can chew right through a turkey neck in seconds." Selina sounded proud of him.
Kala watched the rest of the parade, tabbies and tortoiseshells, black and white and orange and gray, big cats and little cats. Once the last carrier was open and the cats were roaming freely, she looked at Selina in confusion. "Jay said there were thirty-three or thirty-four. I just counted thirty-eight. How was he that far off?"
"He wasn't," Selina chuckled. "There were a few ferals in the woods around Wayne Manor. Now they're part of my clowder. And I picked up a stray on my way back from seeing Harley, too. Don't worry, everyone's already fixed, and I keep a stock of vet supplies handy, so they've had shots and been dewormed."
Kala looked at her dubiously, Norway still purring in her arms. "That's a lot of cats, Selina. The upkeep must be insane."
"Oh, it is, but I have a reputation to uphold," Selina said breezily. "Besides, to be honest, Miss Kitty finds most of the strays. I can't say no to her. The tame ones I try to find homes for. It's hard, though. There are far more cats out there than homes for them. Luckily the local rescues received some big donations recently."
She sounded smug about that, but Kala didn't get a chance to ask. Donna was looking thoughtful. "Dick told me you never put Miss Kitty in a carrier. What are you going to do with her during the gala? If the Manor is one big trap, are you taking her with you?"
"No, that would be a little too obvious," Selina replied. "I'll talk her into staying here and watching over these guys while I'm out."
Nodding, Donna said, "I guess we're ready to head out and see how far along the boys are. I've got to head for the airport soon."
Selina cocked her head. "I always wondered why you guys took commercial flights. Can't you get there faster yourselves?"
"Luggage," they both said in unison, and Kala laughed. "Sometimes it's nice to leave a paper trail, too. Thinking about it, though, I should probably box up my presents and ship them home. I can get someone in the family to swing by my place and take the box inside. I guess I'll wait until after the gala, so I can ship the dress he bought me, too."
"I want to see this dress. Most men I know can't buy clothes for women," Selina said, arching a brow.
"Me, too. Send photos," Donna added.
"Who do you think made my uniform? For a guy who lives in jeans and t-shirts, Jay's pretty good with clothes," Kala replied, making both of them laugh. "I'm Lois Lane's daughter, I know how to shoot and drive and fight. My father had to teach me how to sew a button back on."
"Jay is pretty exceptional in a lot of ways. I really do want to see the dress, though," Donna told her, with a little smile.
And just like that, somehow, Kala had gone from rivalry to truce to friendship.
…
Jay leaned back from the wiring and rubbed at his eyes. He had been rigging sensors to gas nozzles – they wouldn't hook up the canisters until right before they left. The last thing they needed was to accidentally trigger them and knock out half the family. All of the apparatuses had to be hidden, of course, so he had to run wires under rugs and along door jambs, then solder things together. It was a pain in the ass, and he couldn't help remembering that he'd learned these skills for wiring bombs.
Sometimes he wondered if Bruce thought back to his training like this. A lot of the skills Bruce had were extracted from teachers who didn't share his commitment to nonlethal means. The Bat used explosives and timed charges in his work, and whoever he'd learned it from probably hadn't had his ethics. Although maybe whoever it was had been a little less transparently awful than Jay's old bomb instructor.
Sighing, Jay twisted the wires together and soldered them, muttering under his breath. If he'd been putting in a long-term installation, he would've used heat-shrink plastic covers on all these joints, but since it was just a few days, he wrapped everything in electrical tape and called it good. And then cursed as he had to lie on his back and reach up under a table to stick the sensor where it needed to be. If Joker broke this infrared beam, he'd set off gas canisters in this room and the hallway.
Catching Joker like this would mean locking him back in Arkham, Jay knew. Not the conclusion he wanted, but he still hoped the plan would succeed. It wouldn't be the end – Joker always managed to break out again – but it would put a stop to the murders and fires and everything else for a while. And when Joker did get out, Jay could always catch him then. Right now, stopping him mattered more than how they did it, or who got credit.
He heard boots in the hallway, and then Kala's voice. "We're back. I locked everything up tight. Selina will be here soon; Bruce's kidnapper van is a lot slower than I am."
"Yeah, but so's a fighter jet," Jay said, sliding out from under the table and dusting off his hands. "I hate this shit. Didja get all thirty-four cats moved in?"
Kala scoffed. "Thirty-eight. She picked up a few more."
"Fuck, we are gonna be on Hoarders," Jay groaned.
She laughed a little at that, then spoke more seriously. "Jay … thank you for taking care of them. And trusting me to work around your building."
"You're nothing if not trustworthy, K. Hell, if I can't rely on you to do the right thing, no one else is ever gonna be trusted at all." Jay shrugged and tried to sound flippant, but he didn't quite succeed.
She held out her hand, and Jay let her help him up. Not that he needed it, but hell, what was the point of having a girlfriend with super-strength if you couldn't lean on it occasionally? "I think everyone's gathering in the parlor to watch the news," Kala said.
Jay looked at the time, and sighed. Full dark outside, he was finally done with his section, and the rest were probably close to done with theirs, too. "I'm done here. Let's catch the news and then I'll help whoever's got the most left to do."
The two of them went downstairs – Jay admiring the sway of Kala's hips as she preceded him – and into the parlor. Bruce was already there, along with Alfred, and the television was already tuned to the news. The top story, of course, was the fires last night, which the news anchors reported to be the alleged work of the Joker and Harley Quinn. "Talk about a breakup gone bad," one of them said, to the sound of canned laughter.
Jay just rolled his eyes at that. The other anchor redirected a little, saying, "Fortunately, no one was killed in either fire, and the fire department investigators are continuing to gather data about the case. The human cost is still no laughing matter. Let's go to a prerecorded interview with one of the teachers whose classroom was destroyed. Sharon?"
The picture shifted to a reporter standing with a shell-shocked teacher, and Jay felt a chill wash over him. That was Ms. Harlow, looking much the same as she had when she was his teacher except for her haunted eyes. When the reporter introduced her and asked her how she felt, she simply answered, "Lucky."
Clearly that surprised the reporter, who asked, "I'm sorry, did you say 'lucky'?"
"Yes," Ms. Harlow answered crisply, sounding like she had in the classroom ten years ago. "We live in Gotham City, young lady. I feel lucky because that psychopath decided to burn down a school while we were all on winter break. No one was hurt, and even the class hamsters went home with a student for the break. The supplies and furnishings can be replaced. The students' artwork can't. But I'll still count it lucky that no one died last night. I've been teaching for thirty years, and I've seen too many of my students lost to violence."
Her dry, matter-of-fact tone struck Jay right in the heart. No one should be that calm about a school burning down! Hell, he recognized his own cynicism as unhealthy, but necessary for his line of work. For a teacher who worked with middle school students – one who took absolutely zero bullshit from them, but who had a gift for connecting with even the troubled ones – to be so blasé about it made him want to punch something.
Someone should've killed Joker years ago, before the people of Gotham got so used to his brand of crazed violence. And despite everything, Jay felt a little guilt for not just doing it. The first time, not his scheme to force Bruce to put down the Clown.
There had been a time when Jay stood over a gasoline-soaked Joker with a lighter in his hand, and he hadn't dropped it. He hadn't torched his nemesis because it didn't feel like enough. If Jay had just done it then, when he had Joker completely at his mercy, they wouldn't be here now. Maybe Bruce would've gotten over it in a year or two. And now Jay wouldn't be watching one of his favorite teachers claim she felt lucky that no one died.
The news switched back to the anchors, but Jay had seen enough. "Goddammit," he snarled, wishing he had something to throw.
Kala looked at him, startled; the rest looked wary. "What's wrong?" Dick asked.
"What's wrong? That's Ms. Harlow! She was the one who took me aside and let me tell her everything I remembered about my mom, when she found out I didn't wanna hear about Mother's Day stuff 'cause my mom was dead! She was about the best damn teacher I had, she never let me get away with showing my temper, but she was always patient. She's just damn good." Anger frothed in his chest. Never mind that he'd been about fifteen when he last saw the woman, his training and his very soul rejected the notion of anyone he cared about being in harm's way.
"And that's got you cursing?" Donna asked, raising an eyebrow.
K didn't ask. She probably had a good idea, so she just looked at him, her eyes steady, ready to jump in if he needed her. Jay just ground his teeth. "Nobody should have to be that fucking cynical. She feels lucky? 'Cause no one died? Shit, we think like that. This shithole town, I swear, some days it really would be better just to raze the whole fucking place and start over. People fucking live like that, just waiting for Joker to show up and burn down a fucking school. And all to make a point – Joker just wants Harley to know he's aimed at her, and wants us to know he knows who we are. Miserable fuck."
"Jason," Bruce began, but Jay cut him off.
"Relax, I'm not gonna shoot him in the Manor if we catch him tomorrow," Jay said sharply. "The world would be a better place if I'd done it years ago, and you all know it."
They looked at him solemnly, their eyes troubled, and Jay turned with a sigh. "Fuckin' morals," he muttered, and headed up to his room to brood.
…
Dick let out a sigh to break the tension. "I can't say I blame him…"
"I've got him," Kala said, with a quick glance around the room. No condemnation in her gaze; they had all known Jay would react like that. To any teacher, really, but this being one of his favorites just made it more personal.
Bruce nodded, and Kala left. Donna stirred next. "I worry about him," she said.
"Jason is extremely effective in the field, and he hasn't had any relapses in the past year," Bruce replied.
Donna rolled her eyes at him as only an Amazon could. "I don't care about his effectiveness, Bruce. I worry about his state of mind."
Dick reached out to touch her shoulder. "Kala's got him. Jay will be all right."
"Are you sure? That's asking a lot of her," Donna pointed out.
He could only shrug. "She volunteered. Honestly, I was worried about letting the two firebrands run off together, but so far it seems they stabilize each other."
"If you're sure," Donna said.
"You talked to both of them. They're doing pretty good, aren't they?" Dick asked.
Donna nodded; she couldn't disagree. No one who spent five minutes around Kala or Jay could fail to see that they were both ridiculously in love, and bringing out the best in each other. Jay hadn't been this calm or open even when he was a kid. Dick, personally, was all for it. This Christmas had been everything Dick wanted in the world: everyone he cared about in the same place, getting along with each other.
Now all he needed to make it a perfect holiday was for Joker to get knocked out by sleeping gas, and locked up tight in Arkham for the rest of his natural life.
Well, no. If he were completely honest with himself, what Dick really needed was for Joker to get hit by a car or struck by lightning or something. Taken out by random chance, so no one had to struggle with Jay's dilemma, and wonder how many more shattered lives there would be with Joker running loose. Bruce believed that even Joker might someday, somehow be redeemed; Dick couldn't be quite that optimistic.
He chuckled to himself. That was asking too much, in this life. He'd take getting through New Year's Day with no more drama as the closest life could come to perfection.