I got to Bella's on time, and rang the doorbell. Bella answered the door herself wrapped in a blanket, but she didn't say anything and went back to snuggle next to Edward on the couch. She looked a little better, like she slept well, and maybe had something to eat. I saw that there were some half eaten pancakes on the breakfast counter.
"Good morning Bella?"
"Hi," she said.
"How are you feeling today?"
She pulled her feet up. "Not great. The hole is back even though Edward is here, and I don't know why that is."
"That is because you went off your medication," I said.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled.
I turned around, to see where Charlie was.
"He has gone to work," said Edward. "He says she will be fine if I stay and watch her."
I nodded. "Bella, forcing Cullens' hand to turn you by not taking your meds is making you sick. Do you understand that?"
"I started thinking about maybe not turning for like five years or after college or after grad school, and I realized if I wanted to turn now I needed to stop taking them."
"But Bella," said Edward, "You are miserable right now. For the past two weeks you have been happy, why jeopardize that just to become one of us when you don't even care when you are on the medicine?"
"What if I decide not to be one of you, and you leave me again. I can't go back to feeling like that again."
"Bella," I said, "you already have gone back to feeling like that again by not taking these pills. These pills are not the problem, Bella. Something else is the problem. You want to change so bad, that you are willing to be miserable until someone changes you instead of being content that you are exactly as you should be. Why?"
Bella took a deep breath, and a tear rolled down her face. "I don't know," she said.
"Yes, you do," I said.
"I feel weak," she said. "I feel like anything can hurt me, and people are going to get hurt to stop it. And I guess I should be used to it, being a cop's daughter, but I am not. I want to be strong and beautiful and sexy like Rose and Alice and I can't cause people won't let me, and I don't know what to do."
"Okay," I said. "Honey, I don't know if you can figure this out, but when a hundred year old vampire and sixteen year old werewolf who lives half an hour away are willing to kill each other for your hand, you're pretty. You're drop dead gorgeous. You're sexy."
She laughed.
"This is why Rose and Leah hate you."
She laughed again.
"Bella, if you have low self-esteem as a human and then you change into a vampire, you are going to have low self-esteem as a vampire. You might be the prettiest girl Edward's ever laid his eyes on, and all your gonna see is, 'I'm not Rose, I'm not Alice, I'm not Esme.' So you need to take your medicine and talk to me, so we can figure out if turning is the best thing for you."
"Okay," she said. She got up and went to her room and took her medicine.
"Good girl," I said.
"Can we like hang out today," asked Bella.
"Edward can. I got about five million things I got to do."
She nodded.
I looked at my phone, and saw that it was only eight forty. "But we got twenty minutes left, so we can just talk and hang out if you want to."
Bella nodded. "How have you been?" she asked.
"I have been better," I said. "Turned into a werewolf and found out that my clients are sick, so not a great situation."
"It got really rough for Jake," she said.
"Yeah," I said. "It's already gotten rough."
"Most of them take several weeks to get used to it. I am surprised you can handle things so quickly."
"Well I am a clinician. I mean I just took a few days off and you and Sam are already really messed up."
"What is wrong with Sam?"
"Shit, confidentiality. I can't."
"Jake said Sam has gotten kind of bad before, like depression and suicide."
"He's having a rough time," said Edward.
I put my head in my hands. "I just broke confidentiality for no reason. I am gonna lose my job."
"I was going to tell her anyway," said Edward. "I think it's best for her not to go up to La Push until Sam feels better. I was about to call Jacob and offer to let him come down here. I don't think Sam would intentionally hurt her, but with the stress he is having, I don't want her to go out there."
"Is Sam really that bad?" asked Bella.
"You know that cliff jumping they do?" asked Edward. "Sam found out you could survive it by accident."
"Oh my god," said Bella. "That was before the Cullens left."
"Yeah," I said.
"Is he okay?"
"We're taking care of him."
Edwards phone rang. "What Alice?... What?... Are you sure?... She is right here." He handed the phone to me.
"Hey Alice, what's wrong?"
"Jasper wont stop eating," she sobbed. "I've never seen him like this."
"Can you get him on the phone?"
"No."
"Has he killed anyone?"
"No."
"Where are you?"
"Our house."
"I'm on my way." I hung up and handed the phone to Edward. Looking at Bella, I bit my lip.
"I'll call you if something happens," said Edward.
Bella curled up next to Edward, and was about to fall asleep.
"Go to bed," I ordered her.
"Don't leave her," I said to Edward. "I'll text you."