Author's Note: Warning! This chapter contains: panic attacks, minor self harm. Please read responsibly! For a more detailed explanation of where these triggers will occur, please read the end notes. Hello everyone! I hope this update finds you well. I'm a little off schedule and this chapter took me way longer to write than I thought it would. Unfortunately, I've been a little worn out. I think the apocalypse has started to take it's toll on me. I'm going to try and keep updating as often as I can, but it might be a little more sporadic than usual. That being said, this is chapter 23 and as of right now, the plot I have outlined has about 27 chapters! So, we're getting to the homestretch now. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

"Breathe."

A frustrated voice breaks through the dark quiet first. Then, lips over his. Air being forced into his mouth and down his throat. Pain flares as something pushes down on his chest. Zoro lets out a choked gasp of pain.

"He's breathing," a girl says.

She sounds familiar. So very familiar. It isn't Nami. Not Robin. Not Vivi. But, Zoro knows this voice. Who? Who is she? Warm, calloused hands cup his cheeks, turning his head. Zoro can't force his eyes open to see who it is. But they feel familiar. He knows this person.

"Zoro? Oi. Zoro, open your eyes," the first voice orders, this one male. This one achingly familiar. "Tell me, I was right. Zoro, come on. Tell me you're here. Tell me you know how to save them! Zoro? Zoro!"

Everything hurts. Burns. All of his muscles refuse to obey him. His eyes won't open, mouth won't move. Only his ears and mind want to work. Feet scuffle around him, the male voice calling for help, for medical attention. Zoro's mind swirls, trying to think of what happened. Where is he? How did he get here? Who is leaning over him? Why isn't it Luffy? Why can't he hear his nakama?

"Kuma never should have sent him in this condition," the male says.

"They sent an Admiral to the island," the girl tells him impatiently. "I doubt he had much of a choice."

"Can you press this to his stomach? He's still bleeding. Zoro? Wake up. Please. Come on. Please. Please, tell me we can save them both. Zoro. Please."

Save them? Save them. Save his crew. Realization crashes down around him. Sabaody. Kuma. Luffy. Adrenaline flares through Zoro's body, energy spiking. In the distance, unfamiliar voices shout words he can't make out.

"Here!" the girl shouts. Not. Not the girl. Koala. He knows that voice because it's Koala. "Hurry. He's in bad shape!"

Zoro forces his eyes open. The world around him blurs violently, showing him a nauseating wheel of colors. Squeezing his eyes shut, Zoro clenches his fist, just to prove he can do it. His fingers twitch.

Move. Move.

His tongue sits too heavy to speak, but he can move his fingers. Good. That's good. Now, he just has to force his eyes to focus. Something warm and soft drapes over his chest as his body begins to tremble, fingers and toes suddenly feel as though they've been dunked in ice.

"Just keep breathing, Zoro."

"Why did you-?"

"He's going into shock. We need to keep him warm."

Heavy footsteps approach as Zoro forces his eyelids up. He blinks heavily, refusing to let himself rest. He has to see. Has to know.

A fancy blue shirt. Blonde hair. Discolored skin around his eye. Zoro makes his arm work, fingers curling around the hem of the shirt, the only thing he can reach.

Sabo looks down at him, surprise and relief battling for control in his eyes. "Zoro? Oi, Zoro. Can you hear me?"

Sabo. Sabo. Sabo.

Kuma sent him to Sabo. He can save them. Save Ace. Save Luffy. Save his crew.

"You're alright," Sabo says when Zoro doesn't - can't - answer. "We're going to get you fixed up, alright? Just keep breathing for me, Zoro."

Why does Sabo know his name? The question comes far later than it should. Sabo knows his name. Why? Kuma? Did the Shichibukai tell Sabo everything? No. Even with his vision shifting, moving like the world around him spins like a ball, Zoro can see the recognition in his eyes. Sabo knows more than his name.

"Just keep breathing," Sabo says again. "We're going to get you fixed up and then we'll talk, okay? Just keep breathing. Luffy will never forgive me if I let something happen to you."

What the fuck?

Zoro's grip tightens around Sabo's shirt, panic bubbling as he tries to speak. Tries to demand to know what exactly is going on here. Sabo should have no memory. He shouldn't even know who Luffy is.

"Oi, oi," Sabo whispers, eyes sad as Zoro lets out more whines than words. A hand brushes back some of Zoro's sweat drenched hair. "It's alright. Just lay still. We'll talk after you're all looked at. Don't worry. We're going to save them. I promise. I'm not going to let anything happen to Luffy. To your crew. Just breath, Zoro."

Black dances across Zoro's eyes. Sabo's soothing voice fades in and out as he continues to ramble assurances. Sabo knows. Knows they have to save Luffy and the crew. Zoro closes his eyes and breathes.

Soft warmth surrounds Zoro when energy returns to him. The pain has dulled significantly but bandages itch against his skin. Gritting his teeth, Zoro blinks his heavy eyelids open. The edges of his vision blur, head pounding against his skull as the bright white of the walls blind him. A window spills sunlight across the relatively empty room.

An unfamiliar room.

Everything rushes back to him at once. Kuma. Sabaody. Sabo.

Forcing his stiff arms under him, Zoro pushes himself up. His chest burns, each breath stretching his already abused lungs. Nails digging into his palms, Zoro shoves himself up and settles against the headboard.

How much time has passed? Where is Sabo? Why does Sabo know?

Curses rush through his mind, stomach churning uncomfortably. Heat begins sweeping through him, his fingers twitching against his control. Squeezing his eyes closed and biting down on his lower lip, Zoro leans his head back and tries to breathe.

Searching for something, anything to grip onto. The smell of the cook's food. The melody of Bink's Sake. The laughter of their youngest crewmates. Something to bring him back. They aren't dead.

They are, but they aren't.

He has to save them. They aren't dead and Zoro has to save them.

Pulling his knees to his chest, he tucks his head between them, hands fisting in his hair. He has to breathe. Has to think clearly. But his mind refuses to work. Refuses to do anything other than repeat the chant.

Save them. Save them. Save them.

How can he save them like this? With pain drumming against him. With his heart trying to explode.

Failure. Worthless.

He's supposed to protect his crew.

"Zoro," the whisper of his captain's voice.

Zoro's eyes snap open, head shooting up despite the numbness spreading through him. Luffy is here. He knows he heard Luffy's voice. Zoro's eyes search the room around him, desperate to see a wide smile and happy eyes. His heart slams against his chest, hands trembling.

"Luffy?" he whispers, voice hoarse and thick.

He heard Luffy's voice. He knows he did. But, silence greets him. Pressure builds in his chest. Sweat sticks bandages to his skin, too tight, too heavy, too hot. Gasping for breath, Zoro tucks his head between his knees again.

His mind plays tricks on him. Trying to pretend it didn't happen, that he didn't fail again. Sabaody. Saboady happened and Zoro wasn't there. Wasn't there for Kizaru to hurt. So, who did he hurt instead? What if he didn't just hurt someone? What if someone died? Zoro wasn't there for Kizaru and the Pacifistas to focus on. They would have gone after anyone they could get.

He reaches out, searching for someone. Any of his nakama. He can feel a small group of people, maybe ten. But, none of his nakama. None of his family.

Zoro will never feel them again. Because he wasn't there. When it counts, Zoro is never there. They're all dead. They're all dead and it was supposed to be him. Kizaru was supposed to kill him. And Luffy hadn't let him. Luffy died instead.

Luffy is dead.

They're all dead.

That's why he can't feel them. Zoro failed.

Failure. Failure. Failure.

Over the wild pulse of his heart and his erratic gasps for air, Zoro hears the door slam open. The mattress at his side dips. A voice rumbles words that his brain refuses to make out. Everything feels too hot, too heavy, too wrong. Pressure builds in his chest, as though his heart has grown too big from the awful realization that he is alone.

Burst, he minds screams.

Let his heart burst and let him sleep. Let him lay in quiet without having to deal with the pain of this failure forever. Please, let it burst.

"Zoro," Luffy says again, firmer this time.

"No." The words comes out as a weak plea. Stop. Stop making him hear that voice. Luffy is gone. His crew is gone. Gone.

"Zoro," Luffy says again. "Let Sabo help."

Sabo?

Hands wrench his fingers from his hair. Someone, warm and solid, slips into the bed behind him, forcing his body straight and tilting his head up. Zoro's lungs fill with air, his heart calming just slightly. Just enough for him to hear.

"...Cause heart palpitations," an unfamiliar voice says. "Keep him upright for a few minutes, it'll help calm his heartbeat. Should calm his breathing too. Looks like the idiot gave himself a panic attack."

"Keep him upright." Sabo. That's Sabo's voice. "Got it. Thanks."

The stranger grunts. "I'll be back in an hour to check on him again. How he's alive is beyond me."

Sabo snorts. "Zoro's pretty determined, Doc. Last I knew, the only one allowed to kill him is Hawk Eyes."

Zoro continues to gulp in air, staring up at the ceiling as he slouches against the solid body behind him. Goosebumps shoot up his arms, the air cool around him. It's strangely comforting. Feels right. A slight weight settles over his legs, hands smoothing down another blanket.

"It's freezing in here," the doctor mutters. "Make sure to tuck him in once you let him down. Maybe grab him another blanket. Last thing we need is for him to catch a cold. In his condition, it could actually kill him.

"I won't worry. It'll warm up in here in a minute."

The doctor mumbles something about reckless idiots, his voice fading to nothing beneath the click of a door. The hands gripping Zoro's arms, pinning them to his sides to keep him from curling in on himself again, finally release him.

"Can you hear me now?" Sabo asks.

"Sabo?" Zoro's voice scratches against his throat.

There's a relieved exhaustion in Sabo's sigh. "That's me. Lean forward a bit so I can get out. You feel like you're on fire."

Ironic for a user of the Mera Mera no Mi to be beat out by the heat. Zoro bites the comment back, breathing through his nose as he leans forward. The warmth of Sabo's body vanishes, replaced by the comforting cold. Sabo's hands settle on his chest and shoulder, guiding him onto the bed with practiced ease. Zoro blinks up at him, scanning the blonde hair, the scar on his face, the recognition and understanding that don't belong in his eyes.

"How?" Zoro asks.

How do you know who I am? How are you so calm? What is happening?

"I told you, didn't I?" Sabo replies, pulling a nearby chair over so he can sit at Zoro's side. "Luffy would never forgive me if I let you die."

A vague itch of memory pokes at Zoro's brain. Ground hard beneath his knees, blood spattered across his face - Luffy's blood -, his mind blank, unable to move. Foggy voices. The smell of fire. Someone shouting at him, telling him to move, to stand up, though his legs have no interest in that.

"Luffy would never forgive me if I let you die. Get up!"

Sabo, he remembers. The Revolutionary Chief of Staff had arrived in the thick of it all to help. To protect Luffy. But, by then, it'd been too late. By then, it'd been Luffy, Zoro, and the cook. And, even with Sabo clashing against Akainu - because apparently the eradication of the Supernova's is enough to bring the Fleet Admiral to battle - Kizaru had still been faster.

Kizaru will always be able to trap Zoro under his foot, like a fly caught in a web.

A shiver tears through his body at the mere thought of the Admiral. It's strange, this fear. Zoro isn't sure he's ever been genuinely scared of another human being before. Creeped out, sure. Unnerved, definitely. But this blind terror shaking through him at the thought of Kizaru is new. It's awful.

"Zoro?"

He starts, looking back at Sabo again. Right. Focus. Sabo is here. Sabo knows without Zoro having told him. Sabo knows about that island. Which can only mean one thing.

"You." Zoro furrows his brow, staring at the blonde. "You came back?"

Sabo nods. "Someone else landed on the island. No idea who, but Kizaru was more interested in them than me. I went to find you. I heard voices." Sabo's nose crinkles with thought. "Koala. She was asking me if I wanted to read a newspaper. I found an archway. I knew that conversation. I'd told her no. But, if I'd told her yes, I would have seen Ace's name in the paper. I might have remembered in time to save him." Sabo grows quiet for a moment. "I saw your sword, the white one. You left it on the ground near the archway. So, I took a chance and woke up a few weeks ago. It wasn't until Kuma showed up last week that I knew for sure. He told me you asked him to send you here if Luffy started trouble on Sabaody."

Kuma. Sabaody.

Sabaody.

His crew is separated. They aren't here.

The renewed panic must show on his face because Sabo presses down on his shoulders before he can fully struggle up again. "They're alright. They're safe."

Zoro blinks up at him, mind turning in dizzying circles. He can't know that. If the crew isn't here, there's no way to know that they're okay. And they aren't here. Zoro can't feel his crew. They're gone. Gone again and -

"Zoro," Luffy's voice whispers. "Breathe."

Zoro lets out a choked gasp, trying to blink orange flames from his vision. Sabo waves a hand in front of his face, concern clear in his eyes.

"Oi, Zoro. You still with me?" Sabo asks. He holds a glass of water out. "Here, drink this. You're pale as a ghost. Did you move too fast? Should I grab the doctor?"

"The others?" Zoro breathes and he only just realizes he's sat himself up, leaning heavily against the wall.

"I told you," Sabo says evenly. "They're safe."

"You can't- How- Where-?"

"Oi." Sabo presses the cup of water into his hand again. "Drink this and breathe, alright? I sent Koala to check on them. She called an hour ago. They're all fine, Zoro."

"Luffy?"

"On Amazon Lily. Probably making Boa Hancock crazy with love." The ghost of a smile crosses Sabo's lips. "I wouldn't send him somewhere that wasn't safe."

It's true. Sabo's habit of dropping everything to protect Luffy became infamous, even among the Marines. If he wasn't sure Luffy was safe, he wouldn't be sitting with Zoro.

A headache begins to tap against his temples, but Zoro nods, shifting himself away from the wall. Time to get up. He can't lay here any longer. There can't be much time before Ace's execution. He needs to get ready.

Sabo frowns. "What are you doing?"

"Getting up. Ace-"

"It isn't until tomorrow. Three pm." Sabo's lips twist with an eager annoyance. The day taking too long for him to save his brother's life. "I've thought about trying to break into Impel Down but it'd take to long to get there. And, I'm not positive I'd be able to break through their defenses anyway."

"We need a way into Marineford," Zoro tells him. "A plan."

"I have a way in. I"ve been planning for weeks, Zoro. Lay back down. You need rest."

"I don't-"

"You can barely sit up." The frown on Sabo's lips deepens. "If you want to come with me, you're going to need rest."

The words grate against the nerves already rushing through him. If he wants to go with Sabo. As if Sabo has any say in what Zoro does or doesn't do. "You can't stop me from going."

One of Sabo's eyebrows raises, unimpressed and puts a hand on Zoro's shoulder to push him down. "Right now, if I needed to, I could. You can't help them if you're dead, Zoro. Get some sleep."

Zoro shoves Sabo's hand away, frustration and shame mixing into an untamable anger. Is he really so broken that Sabo wants to treat him like glass? That Sabo won't trust him in battle?

"All I've done for a week is sleep. I don't need more sleep. I need to do something."

"You've been asleep for a week because you're a moron." Sabo's eyes darken, face twisting in a snarl. "Agreeing to take Luffy's pain. What were you thinking?"

Zoro's eyes snap up to him.

"Kuma told me," Sabo answers without Zoro having to ask. "He told me everything. Are you insane? What good would getting killed do Luffy?"

"I knew I wouldn't die," Zoro growls back.

"That isn't the point."

Sharp rage flares in Zoro's chest. "Don't act like you get to lecture me. I'm not your brother."

"No, you're just the man he died for. And here you are, throwing your life away like it didn't cost Luffy his!"

Zoro's heart stops, breath hitching painfully in his chest. Cold anger swirls in the air around them and Zoro feels so incredibly small. It takes all of his self control not to curl himself into a ball again. Sabo's anger dissipates as quickly as it had come, shoulders slumping and gaze dropping.

For a moment neither of them speak. Not that it matters. Those words hang hot and heavy in the air. A reminder of the truth. Zoro was supposed to die on that island. It should have been him. But it wasn't. And he can't change that sitting in a bed.

"He isn't," Zoro whispers when Sabo opens his mouth, probably to grit out an apology he doesn't mean. Sabo stares at him like he's grown a second head. "Luffy isn't dead. He's with Boa, you said so yourself. He isn't dead. And I'm not going to let him die."

Sadness lingers in Sabo's eyes, teeth sinking into his bottom lip. "Your crew is safe. Just, get some rest, Zoro. We'll leave tomorrow."

Purururu.

The annoying ring of a Den Den Mushi prods at Zoro through the darkness of sleep. His pain has dulled significantly, muscles feeling less tight, feeling back in his legs.

Purururur.

Something shuffles to the right of him. Zoro blinks his eyes open, scrubbing a hand across his face and glances around the dark room. A lamp flickers into life and Zoro lifts himself onto his elbows as Sabo reaches out to grab the Den Den Mushi.

"Koala? Is something wrong?" Sleep laces Sabo's voice.

Zoro's heart tightens. Koala is supposed to be checking on his crew. He shoves himself up all the way, staring at Sabo wide eyed. For a moment, the other end of the Den Den Mushi is completely silent.

"Sorry, not Koala," Nami says shortly. "She should be more careful with her things though."

Sabo lets out a long suffering sigh. A relieved breath shakes through Zoro's lips. Nami's alright, though there's an unnatural danger in her tone.

"Nami-san, let me see that," the cook orders.

The cook? That isn't right. Nami's in some weather paradise and the cook is learning new recipes with the okama. They aren't together. They can't be. That's not right.

Sabo shakes his head. "I don't know why I'm so surprised," he mutters. "Of course they managed to steal her stuff. Nami's there."

"Oi, oi." The cook tries to sound intimidating. "The lovely Koala-chan was kind enough to inform us that you acquired a lost piece of sea algae that belongs to us."

This is wrong. This is very, very wrong. The cook is with Nami. Kuma sent them somewhere together. But why? How?

"You mean Zoro?" Sabo asks, his voice barely making it past the pounding of Zoro's heart.

"That would be the lost sea algae. Who are you exactly?"

Sabo pauses a beat. "Is Nefertari Vivi there?"

Vivi too? What the hell is going on? Why did Kuma send them together?

A small scuffle on the other end of the Den Den Mushi. Zoro thinks he catches Usopp and Franky's voices. But, no. That has to be his imagination. This can't be happening. This isn't right.

"Sanji-san," Vivi says firmly. "Let me talk to him." A small pause. "This is Nefertari Vivi. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?"

Sabo's gaze flickers to Zoro, watching his chest heave with uncertain eyes for a moment before he turns back to the Den Den Mushi. "Sabo. I believe we met several months ago, on an island. Three years from now."

Stunned silence drags out. "You're the blonde man from the island."

"Yes."

Again, Vivi fails to speak. Sabo doesn't press, letting her digest the information. Questions must be spiraling for her the way they had for Zoro. Are still spiraling through his head. His body twitches, as though trying to shake him from the pressure building in his back. The paranoia. The panic.

Everything is wrong.

It's too hot. Zoro's body refuses to stop trembling. This is wrong. Everything is wrong. He can't control this. He has no clue what's going to happen next, but he knows that something is wrong. Nami and the cook shouldn't be together. Where are they? Are they in danger? How the hell is Zoro supposed to protect them if he doesn't know where they are?

"Zoro?" Sabo calls, voice loud and firm.

Pressing himself into the cool wall, trying to tame the ungodly heat, Zoro blinks and turns to look at Sabo. There's an unnerving concern in Sabo's gaze as he holds the receiver out for Zoro to take. Fingers shaking violently, Zoro moves himself to the edge of the bed and takes it.

"Vivi?"

The Den Den Mushi sighs. "Mr. Bushido."

Zoro lets out a long breath, letting the nickname bring a slight comfort. It dims the panic, if only slightly.

"Zoro?" Vivi says. "Are you alright?"

No physically. He can tell by her tone of voice that she isn't asking about his physical state. And, even though he wants to lie to her, to tell her everything's fine, the words won't leave Zoro's mouth. Embarrassment heats his cheeks, but words spill out.

"It's not right," he whispers.

"That's okay."

"It's not."

"It is," Vivi tells him firmly. "If you want to save them, we have to change things, Mr. Bushido. Nothing's going to be the same."

Cold presses down on his shoulder, as though someone is trying to touch him. To help him cool down. Nothing's going to be the same. Zoro has to guess from here on out. He clenches his fists, digging it into his ribs. Pain burns through him but he manages to breathe.

"Who else is there with you?" he asks.

Definitely Nami and the cook. But there are other voices in the background. More people are there.

"Everyone but you and Luffy-san."

The world stops spinning. Zoro stares at the Den Den Mushi, words refusing to come to his mind. Everyone. Everyone in one place. Kuma didn't spread them out. But why? Zoro hadn't asked him to do anything other than send him to Sabo. Why would he send everyone to one spot?

Unless.

Zoro's gaze moves up to Sabo. Guilty blue eyes stare back at him. Because Zoro isn't the one who changed this. Sabo is. Sabo has been planning for weeks now. Insisted that he had a solid plan. A plan to save Luffy and Ace.

But he hadn't elaborated on it. Maybe because he knows that Zoro won't like the plan.

"Vivi," Zoro manages to choke out. "Where are you?"

His fists unclenches, fingers digging into his ribs. He needs the pain. Needs the grounding presence. The panic flares, anger curling up around him as well. This is wrong. This is out of his control. This isn't fair. Cold wraps around him, trying to help tame his pounding heart.

"Enies Lobby," Vivi replies slowly. "Or what's left of it."

Warning! This chapter contains:
Panic attacks
Minor self harm
Please read responsibly! There are two scenes containing panic attacks and one scene containing self harm.

(Scene One:) After waking up in an unfamiliar room, Zoro worries that because he wasn't there to be the main target of Kizaru's attack, the Admiral would have focused on one of his other crewmates and possible killed one or all of them. Panicking that he's killed them all, Zoro curls into a ball, which causes heart palpitations to his already stressed body, causing him to panic more. As he panics, he hears Luffy's voice, but knows that his captain is not in the room and figures he's lost it a little bit. He's brought out of it by Sabo, who forces him to sit up straight, which calms his heart rate.

(Scene Two:) After talking to hearing both Nami and Sanji on the Den Den Mushi, Zoro begins to realize that something has once again changed and is outside of his control. He tries to calm his panic by digging his hand into his injured ribs while talking to Vivi. When Vivi tells him the entire crew is in the same spot - sans for him and Luffy - Zoro realizes that Sabo is the one who orchastrated the change in Kuma's plan and asks Vivi where the crew has been sent.

Scene One (panic attack) begins with:
"Curses rush through his mind, stomach churning uncomfortably..."
Scene One ends with:
"Hands wrench his fingers from his hair..."

Scene Two (minor panic attack and self harm) begins with:
"Again, Vivi fails to speak..."
Scene Two ends with:
"Enies Lobby," Vivi replies slowly."

So, there you have it! Zoro is with Sabo, who has come back to help save Luffy as well and the entire crew is in Enies Lobby, waiting to save their captain. Like I mentioned before this chapter took longer than I thought it would to write. I'm a little worn out. Maybe that's why I'm not super thrilled with this chapter. It could also be because Sabo is a surprisingly difficult character to write. Most of his personality centers around protecting Luffy. So, I can only imagine he'd be a little upset and subdued at this point. Next time, Vivi and the crew discover why they were sent to Enies Lobby. Koala wants more answers. And Marineford begins! I've been writing a little slower lately, like I said, I'm sadly a little worn down, so it may be a few days before you all see me again.

Until then, pretty please, remember to stay healthy, stay sane, and stay safe out there!