Chapter 30.

Scott could still remember the time he'd almost drowned John.

It had been an overcast Friday, not long after the redhead's first birthday.

Lucy had left Scott in charge of supervising his baby brother for five minutes while she ran to grab a fresh bib. John was prone to puking and frequently ejected his meals mere minutes after consuming them. As a result, he went through clothes and bibs at an alarming rate.

On this particular occasion, the redhead had expelled an entire bottle of milk in one sitting, deciding that he'd rather wear his lunch than digest it.

Five minutes, Lucy had said. Three hundred seconds. One twelfth of an hour. Hardly any time at all.

Then again, Scott had always been fast.

John had been the new focus of mummy and daddy's attention. The hugs and bedtime stories Scott had once enjoyed were now reserved for his ginger brother and, on the occasions when John stuck to a sleep schedule, Virgil.

A bit harsh for a boy who had only just turned five himself.

Unfortunately, being five also meant that Scott possessed the reasoning skills of someone who'd only just learnt to write their name. If John disappeared, then mummy and daddy would be available again. Virgil was a pushover and could quite easily be subdued, meaning that Scott could once again claim the attention that so rightfully belonged to him.

Lucy had returned from the nursery to see John's basket bobbing in the middle of the pool. The little redhead had been oblivious to his plight and had continued to contently suck his thumb, unfazed by the chlorinated water soaking his blankets.

The scream that had left Lucy's lungs had been sufficient to summon her mother-in-law, who had taken one look at the scene before running to fetch a large net. For some strange reason, jumping into the pool hadn't been an option for either woman.

Stupid haircuts.

Unfortunately, Scott's hero gene chose that precise moment to activate. Upon watching his mummy tearing at her hair like a madwoman, Scott had leapt out from his hiding place and heroically catapulted himself into the pool. Lucy's screams turned into cheers of elation as her eldest son seized his rapidly sinking brother and steered him back towards the edge of the pool, his little legs working like pistons.

"Well done, Scotty!" Lucy gushed, plucking John free of his soggy bedding, "Who's mummy's brave boy? I knew I could count on you!"

Scott merely beamed and politely requested a raise in his allowance.

Little Virgil had been crestfallen to learn about Scott's first ever 'rescue'. Mummy had agreed to double his brother's allowance, granny had offered to make him waffles and daddy had even offered to show him the cockpit of the TV-21.

When Virgil had asked if he could share any of Scott's spoils, he'd been gently informed that Scott had saved John's life and was therefore under no obligation to share his rewards. Virgil had been palmed off with a bowl of ice cream and the promise that he too would get rewarded if he followed Scott's example.

It was another twenty years before Scott disclosed the full extent of his involvement in 'the pool incident'. The six beers that he'd consumed beforehand made the confession significantly less painful, however did nothing to dampen his belief that he had indeed saved John's life, irrespective of the fact that he'd been the very one to endanger it in the first place.

As far as Scott was concerned, John would forever be in his debt.

As far as John was concerned, Scott would forever be at the bottom of his Christmas card list.

-x-

If John's innocuous scrape with drowning had taught him anything, it was that death was to be avoided at all costs.

Hence his panic when Gordon made the announcement to Kayo that, unbeknownst to her, they'd been keeping a scoreboard of their own.

Ever observant, John had taken note of Kayo's previous sunshine mood and run a quick risk assessment. Thunderbird Shadow's pilot was not usually not a morning person – something was up.

John could practically smell when someone was lying. His brothers laughed at him, but he swore he possessed some kind of sixth sense that allowed him to scent the air like a bloodhound. Whether it was the years spent in orbit or his hundreds of allergies, the redhead could sniff out a lie like a spaniel in a drug raid.

Moving slowly to avoid drawing attention to himself, John reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone before surreptitiously checking his calendar.

His spaniel sense hadn't let him down.

"What do you mean I haven't been the only one keeping score?" Kayo asked, her eyes narrowing in anger.

Scott deployed one of his lopsided grins and smirked when Kayo visibly blushed, "Exactly what I said. Over the past week, we've been compiling our own scoresheet based on how we thought you performed on all five dates."

Kayo's eyes flicked towards Virgil for confirmation, her mouth dropping open in shock when the engineer affirmed his brother's statement with a nod.

"That's the main reason why we called this impromptu meeting," Scott carried on, ignoring John who discreetly trying to catch his eye, "We'd like to take this opportunity to deliver your feedback and final result."

Kayo opened her mouth to protest, but was swiftly cut off by Virgil inviting himself into the conversation.

"You scored us in five categories," Virgil began, lacing his fingers together and regarding Kayo like a judge about to pass a sentence, "The first category was fashion. Since John went first, we figured we'd let him start things off."

John winced as five pairs of eyes flew towards him, however was saved when a seventh member decided to join the committee.

Kayo yelped in shock as a dog with yellow fur padded into the den. It had a neat little head, complete with two large black eyes and a wet button nose. It was about the same height and build as a sheepdog and was sporting a few bald patches, several open wounds and a rather bony looking pelvis. It shuffled over to tentatively sniff at Kayo's shoe before scampering towards Gordon.

"Where on earth did that come from, and how did it get onto the island without my knowledge?" Kayo demanded, rising from her chair in alarm. She knew from experience that humans weren't the only threat to Tracy Island's security.

"Relax!" Gordon exclaimed, hopping off his chair to offer the mutt one of his remaining biscuits, "This is Celery. She's an ex-stray I picked up off the street in Rio. She's been busy exploring the island this morning, haven't you girl?"

Kayo reluctantly returned to her seat, but didn't tear her eyes off the dog for a second, "Has she had a bath? I don't want to find fleas in any of the rugs."

Gordon rolled his eyes and motioned for Celery to jump onto his lap, "She can't have a proper bath until her wounds scab over. I gave her some flea medication last night though, so she should be good."

While Kayo was preoccupied with peering at Celery as if she might turn savage, John took the opportunity to lean over and show Scott his calendar.

"Careful," the redhead warned, brandishing his phone in Scott's face like a letter from the Queen, "Don't rile her too much."

Scott squinted at the screen in front of him, frowning when he saw that the week they were on had been highlighted in red with the words 'Danger to Life' emblazoned across all seven days.

"Ah…" Scott cringed as realisation smashed into him like a car with John at the wheel, "Noted. Fetch the sacrifice."

John nodded silently and pushed his chair back, relieved to see that Kayo's attention was still focussed on Celery.

"Where will she sleep? What will she eat?" Kayo was demanding, "We don't have any dog stuff on the island and our next supply run isn't for another three weeks."

Gordon shrugged and let Celery shove her nose into his mug to lap up what was left of his tea, "She'll sleep in my bed once she's had a bath. As for food, she'll just eat whatever I eat."

Alan's face twisted in confusion, "So you'll be feeding her canned cheese, celery crunch bars and ice cream for the foreseeable future?"

Gordon's face flushed in embarrassment, "I've gotta watch my dairy intake from now on, so no to the cheese and ice cream. Most of our meals are meat based though, so she'll be able to eat those just fine."

Kayo jolted as a massive bar of chocolate was suddenly dumped in her lap.

"Breakfast," John clarified when Thunderbird Shadow's pilot shot him a look of shocked confusion, "Thought you might be hungry."

Green eyes narrowed in suspicion, "And why exactly would I want chocolate of all things for breakfast?"

A rare look of discomfort passed over John's face as he looked to Scott for backup.

"You've hacked my calendar, haven't you?" Kayo snarled, her tone daring the redhead to disagree.

Scott intervened before John had the chance to panic, "Actually, we didn't need to. We've devised our own calendar based on changes in your behaviour, diet, painkiller consumption and willingness to practise domestic violence. After the last incident with Gordon and the jar of pickles, we decided to gather our own data for safety's sake."

Kayo didn't think she'd ever felt more embarrassed in her life. Living with five guys was enough of a pain in the ass on its own, but discovering that they knew about something so personal was ten times more distressing.

"Relax," Scott reassured with a dismissive flick of his wrist, "We've known for years. Why do you think we're always out of the house on the second Thursday of each month?"

John could practically hear Kayo's hair stand on end.

"Or why we make sure to buy chocolate and bath salts by the pallet load," Gordon added, snickering inwardly at the expression on Kayo's face.

"Or why all of our rooms have locks," Virgil finished.

"Enough!" Kayo shrieked, leaping up from her chair in fury, "Holy hell on a Thunderbird, is there any privacy in this damn house?!"

Scott quirked an eyebrow in a way he'd been told was attractive, "Survival of the smartest, not the smoothest, remember?"

"Hey!" Gordon whined, scampering to retrieve Kayo's discarded bar of chocolate, "That's my line!"

"And it's served me much better than it's served you," Scott retorted, motioning for both Gordon and Kayo to return to their seats, "Which brings us nicely back to the first category you graded all of us on, which I believe was fashion. John, would you kindly share your feedback on Kayo's dress sense?"

The redhead cleared his throat and selected a piece of paper from the stack in front of him, "I personally approved of Kayo's choice of attire for our date. She chose colours that complemented her hair and complexion well, and her outfit was stylish yet practical at the same time. For the record, she wore a black skater dress in a size eight and a pair of heeled boots in a size five and a half, along with a black hobo style leather handbag she got for fifty percent off last spring."

Kayo's eyes widened, "Seriously? I repeat, is anything in this house private?"

John smiled, "I'm a stickler for details, plus I monitor everyone's bank activity. Now, onto your score. Based on everything I've just said, you probably think I'm going to give you at least a four, but I have some additional comments to add. Firstly, your dress was obviously made from a poly-viscose fabric, which although easy to wash, is not as breathable as natural fabrics. This caused you to perspire after the first hour of our date, which could have quite easily led to body odour. Furthermore, the heels on your boots gave the impression that you were taller than you actually are, which is an act of deception in my opinion. In light of both of these points, I've made the difficult decision to downgrade you from a four to a two in the fashion category. Scott, I believe you were after me?"

"Indeed," Scott replied, smiling benignly at Kayo's horrified expression, "I've scored you on the budget category. Before we get started, I would just like to draw your attention back to the winner's prize you mentioned at the beginning."

Kayo crossed her arms, "I never said the winner got a prize."

Scott deployed the most knee-melting smile he could muster, "Oh yes you did. I believe you said, and I am quoting here," Scott paused to pick up one of the pieces of paper in front of him, his blue eyes scanning the text, "Ahem, 'Winner gets bragging rights for a whole year and might get the cost of the date reimbursed, depending on how I feel.' Considering my score of twenty one was the highest, I believe that entitles me to three hundred and sixty five days of bragging rights and some of your hard-earned money. Given your current…ahem…state, I think we can skip over the part about how you feel."

Kayo's face was rapidly turning purple, however she couldn't deny her own words, "Fine. How much do I owe you for that hellish horse ride?"

"Five and a half thousand dollars," Scott replied, his tone cheery, "Although unlike you, I'm feeling generous, so will knock it down to just five thousand."

Kayo's jaw hit the floor, "How on earth could renting two nags for a couple of hours cost the same as a nose job?"

Scott's smile didn't falter, "I had to cover the cost of replacing both horses after they fled from Gordon's fart machine. Add that to the original rental fee and ta-da, you've got five and half thousand dollars. Will you be paying by cash or cheque?"

There was a brief moment of silence before Kayo exploded into an unladylike cackle, "Dream on, Scott. I like you, but not that much I'm afraid. Consider it an investment in learning to triple check your pockets."

Virgil cringed when Scott's left eye twitched ever so slightly.

"Very well," Scott replied, his smooth voice betraying no hint of the frustration he felt over Kayo's refusal to hold up her end of the bargain, "Had you of cooperated, I would have quite happily given you a five for budget. As it is, you've managed to invent your own score."

Kayo snorted as Scott scribbled on the paper in his hand, "And what might that be?"

Scott didn't answer, opting instead to hand the piece of paper to John. The redhead scanned the page before coughing awkwardly, "Well, there was a five written here, but it's now been crossed out and replaced with the word 'bitch' instead."

Virgil snorted into his glass of water.

"I'm going to interpret that as a zero," John carried on, doing his best to be unhelpful, "Okay, Alan went after Scott."

"Take it away, Allie!" Scott sang before adding in a stage whisper, "Just remember whose roof you live under."

Alan gulped and shifted in visible discomfort. He was completely torn. On the one hand, his loyalty to his brothers was without question, and technically, Kayo had screwed them over. On the other hand, his crush on Thunderbird Shadow's pilot was still very much alive and kicking.

'Priorities, Alan. Priorities. There are other girls in the world, but you only have the one brother. Oh wait, make that four. Eh, scratch that, you've got brothers to spare, but girls like Kayo don't come by every day.'

Alan sighed and took a long sip of water, "Okay, Scott gave me the activity and location section to score. This was kind of tricky, since it was up to me to decide where we went and what we did, so I interpreted it as how versatile you were throughout the evening. Uh…well…what can I say? I cried and you didn't mock me. I sat on a nest of fire ants and you didn't film me. It might not be the best example of versatility, but I have the final say on this section and I'm giving you a five."

Gordon shook his head in disbelief, "Wow, Al. Way to be subtle."

Alan's blue eyes dropped to the floor in embarrassment. Despite not appreciating the sympathy vote, Kayo felt sorry for the young blond. He'd gone against his brothers and was no doubt going to pay for it

"My turn!" Virgil was practically vibrating with enthusiasm, "I'm covering the manners category, and I'm afraid it's not good news. My notes say that you exuded a sense of entitlement, as well as signs of narcissism, arrogance, vanity and self-admiration during our date. All of these traits are consistent with a behaviour commonly referred to as 'peacocking', which is synonymous with fragile self-esteem and low emotional intelligence. The latter results in weak social communication, which hinders one's ability to be polite and empathetic. Based on all of aforementioned data, plus the fact you slapped me in the face, I'm afraid I can only offer you a two, as well as the number of a good psychologist I know."

Kayo's eyes widened in disbelief, "Are you serious? You just described yourself! You were the one lambasting your brothers to make yourself look good by comparison, you were the one who kept checking your reflection in the canal, and you were the one who aborted the date just because you couldn't handle getting your hair wet! That right there is the dictionary definition of peacocking. Speaking of a dictionary, did you happen to swallow one before you delivered that lecture?"

Virgil sighed and closed his eyes, shaking his head as though Kayo were a disruptive student, "Throwing a tantrum won't change my mind, Kayo. I'm afraid your performance is only worthy of a two."

Kayo gave a disbelieving laugh before swivelling to face Gordon, "Go on fishboy, do your worst."

The aquanaut smiled sweetly and motioned for Celery to jump off his lap, "Really, Kayo. I'm a man of integrity. What pleasure would I get out of kicking you while you're down? You're beautiful, intelligent and an excellent samba dancer. When it comes to whether I'd go on a second date with you, the answer should be obvious. Unfortunately, I seem to recall that our date resulted in me getting drunk, abducting an innocent bystander, hugging the toilet for five hours and then getting thrown in jail. I like excitement as much as the next person, but that was too much even for me. If I had to give my recommendation, I'd warn all men against coming within fifty yards of you. Have some sympathy fries before your main course of zero arrives."

There was a shattering sound as Kayo's coffee mug ended up in six different pieces on the floor, "You brought all of those things on yourself! You were gullible and didn't realise that something was up with those drinks Carlos kept feeding you! If you had of stayed sober, you wouldn't have brought Maria home instead of me, you wouldn't have forced your brothers to come looking for me, you wouldn't have gotten arrested trying to bail them out of prison and you wouldn't have spent half the night courting the toilet! None of that was directly my fault!"

Over on Gordon's right, John quickly did some mental calculations. He was willing to retract the statement he'd made to Virgil about Kayo being to blame for everything, however wasn't prepared to translate it into a score upgrade.

He couldn't afford to offend Scott and risk another bloody nose.

"Nine out of twenty five," Virgil announced with a low whistle as he finished tallying up Kayo's numbers, "Gordon, grab your party blower. It looks like we have a new loser."