"Fuck my life," Emma muttered earnestly. Dealing with a drunken ex-fiancé was NOT how she wanted to spend her evening. And Neal had to be drunk right now. Otherwise he probably wouldn't be half-laying in Mary Margaret's bushes.

Emma groaned. That stupid, fucking idiot! What the hell was his problem even?! As far as Emma was concerned, she and Neal had had it out already. But maybe he was too dumb to understand that. Maybe that slap in the face hadn't been hard enough. Red-hot anger rushed through her veins as she watched her former fiancé attempt to stand up and stagger away from the bushes. What the hell was he even playing at? That drunken idiot. She felt a rather bizarre urge to laugh. A sort of hopeless laugh. The devil in her was tempted to sit tight and wait while he tried the front door and set all the alarms in the house off. But she reminded herself that her parents lived her too. They were asleep, and Emma definitely did not want them to be woken up by the alarm. They would get the shock of a lifetime and assume that there was an 'actual' burglar. Emma didn't see Neal as a burglar. She saw him as an idiot. And she was very much done feeling as much as a twinge of amusement when she saw him pick up a rock. A small rock. One that he almost immediately dropped because he was drunk. But his intention with said rock was pretty clear. He had been opting for throwing it against the window like he used to do when they were teenagers.

"Are we seriously doing this?" Emma muttered to herself as she watched Neal drunkenly search for another rock. Yes, clearly they were. It would only be a matter of time before he actually managed to pick up a rock and throw it against her window. Or trample her mom's flowers down.

Realizing that she had to intervene in some kind of way, Emma released a deep and guttural groan. And then she found her bathrobe and whipped it on. She felt tempted to bring the baseball bat her father so lovingly had placed under her bed when she and Neal broke up, but she decided against it. She would prefer to solve this without violence. She had already punched Neal in the face once. That had to be enough.

As quietly as possible, Emma slipped out of her room and down the stairs. She made a point of avoiding that one special step that creaked like hell. She stopped for a moment. Nothing from upstairs. Her parents were still fast asleep. Emma prayed that it would stay that way. The last thing she wanted was to involve her parents in this.

She made it downstairs and took a second to puff out her chest and square her shoulders. She was not even remotely in the mood for another confrontation with Neal. She had kind of thought he was done being a prick, but apparently not. Apparently, he just had to try his luck one more time. Idiot. What did he expect would happen? That she just magically would have changed her mind and throw herself into his waiting arms?

Emma snorted. "Think again, buddy." Then she opened the front door and stepped outside. The motion sensor light switched on when she came out in the front yard. It had been switched off for a while. Could she be so lucky that Neal had fallen asleep in the bush? If that was the case, nothing would bring Emma greater pleasure than getting a glass of water and throwing it in his face.

She was not that lucky.

"Em!" Neal called when he spotted her. He clumsily got on his feet and staggered away from the bush.

"Neal," Emma dully acknowledged.

The man in question came wobbling over to her. He literally looked like shit. Cheeks stubbly and unshaved. Eyes bloodshot and watery. Hair sticking up. The same baggy jeans and hoodie he had been wearing earlier in the diner. Only difference being that he appeared to have spilled some kind of drink on the hoodie. It was stained.

"Em," he repeated. He sounded breathless. Maybe he was trying to sound seductive. He was failing miserably.

Emma pulled her robe tighter around her. Suddenly, she felt like a woman from a Jane Austen novel, about to reject the crass man who had been bothering her. "The fuck do you want?" she asked sharply. Women in Jane Austen novels probably didn't talk like that, but what the hell. Emma was so annoyed she could have killed Neal right then and there.

"I rrrreally need to talk to you," Neal slurred and tried to fix his posture. It didn't help. He was still slouching.

"We don't have anything to talk about," Emma said crassly. "Get the fuck out of my front yard before I alert the police." meaning her father who was currently asleep upstairs.

"We have everything to talk about!" Neal claimed and was asshole enough to jab a finger in her face. Emma noted that his knuckles looked oddly bruised. What was up with that? "I heard you and your p-parents talk earlier!"

"Congratulations. Your hearing works. Now leave me the fuck alone," Emma said flatly and turned around to get back in the house. As far as she was concerned, they were done.

But Neal was far from done. So very far from it! "I can't let you leave!" he exclaimed.

"Excuse me?" Emma said. Voice still flat.

"Yeah, that's right," Neal said, now sounding almost triumphant. "I heard you talk about moving to California, Em!"

"That's none of your business, Neal."

"The fuck it is! You can't leave!"

"Oh, believe me, buddy, I CAN! What I do and don't do isn't any of your business anymore!" Emma was seriously growing annoyed. The nerve of this asshole!

"Come on, Em! You don't really wanna go! You're only saying so because you wanna hurt me!"

Emma laughed. "Jeez, Neal, you're so fucking full of yourself! You seriously think I care that much about you? Well, guess what? I don't give a damn about you."

"You can't leave!" Neal repeated. "I can't let you go!"

"You can't 'let' me go?" Emma repeated, nostrils flaring and vision slowly reddening. "Who the fuck do you think you ARE?! Think you have any control over me? I've got a newsflash for you: you don't. I'm not interested in talking to you. Now leave before I have you arrested for being in my garden in the middle of the night!" she turned around, fully intending to heading back inside and alerting her father that there was a jerk in the garden.

"Em! Em, I love you!"

Emma straight up laughed at that. "Oh, come on, man! We both know that's not true! Quit being such an idiot already!"

"It's true, Em! I love you," Neal claimed and shuffled forward. He grabbed her hand. "You're the one I want! It's always been you, Em. I know I've been an idiot, but I promise you, all of that is over now, just please give another chance! I wanna make it up to you, I wanna go back to the way we were!"

"Let go of me," Emma said sharply and yanked her hand out of Neal's grasp. The movement sent him back into the bush. Good. "The way we were is dead, Neal! And in hindsight, I think it was even before we got engaged. Before Tamara. We grew apart, Neal. I grew up and realized that I wanted other things. Things that you couldn't give me. You have to realize that it's over. The sooner you do that, the better. You have to move on! Stop drinking and ruining your life! Move on like I did! And get the hell out of my garden!" she turned around once more.

But Neal wasn't done yet. He pushed himself up from the bush and his voice was full of venom when he hissed: "It's that bitch, isn't it?!"

Emma's hands curled into fists, and she slowly turned around to face her ex-fiancé once more. "What. Did. You. Just. Say?!"

"That... that CHICK you're dating!" Neal snarled. "She's the one who put this into your head isn't she?"

"If you know what's good for you, you leave Regina the fuck out of this!" Emma sneered. "She has nothing to do with this! Be angry at me, I don't give a fuck, but start going off at her while I'm here, and I'll fucking-" she took a sharp breath. "No, you know what, you're not worth it. Just... get the fuck out of here, okay?! Last warning!"

Neal huffed. "Come on, Em, when are you gonna stop kidding yourself? We both know she's just some rebound thing you're seeing to punish me. Well, you've made your point, okay? I get that I hurt you! Now please drop the act and lets work on what we have!"

"What we have?!" Emma repeated and laughed again. God, this conversation was so ridiculous. "We don't 'have' anything, Neal. We had something, but that died a long time ago. You straight up kicked it to death when you slept with Tamara! But you know what, I'm glad you did! I'm glad we never got to marry, and I'm glad I went to Spain on my own instead, because it meant that I was single when I met Regina!" Emma took a shuddering breath. "And for your information, buddy... Regina is NOT a rebound thing, and she never will be. I know it might seem impossible for someone who's as full of yourself as you are, but me being with Regina has absolutely nothing to do with you. I'm with her because I love her! So fucking much! To be honest, I'm not even sure I knew what it felt like to really be in love before I met her!"

"That is not true!" Neal bellowed. "You loved me! We loved each other!"

"Yeah. Loved. Past tense," Emma sneered. "VERY past tense. I was more in love with the idea of marriage than actually marrying you, and you were too fucking busy banging Tamara to see it. Our marriage would have been a disaster, Neal. You have to realize that. And you have accept that it's over. It never would have worked between us! We wanted different things!"

"The hell are you talking about, Em? That is not-"

"Isn't it?" Emma interrupted and sighed. "You wanted to work with your dad in his shop and settle down here. I wanted to travel and see new horizons. Take my career further."

"You never told me that!"

"Yes, I did," Emma said, quelling another sigh. "I told you many times. You just either never listened to me, or gave a hundred reasons why it was better for us to stay in Storybrooke, and that being an event photographer was good enough. In the end I got sick of asking."

Neal breathed heavily. His gaze swimming slightly. The alcohol was clearly starting to kick in a second time. Second wave of drunken nonsense or something like that. "Emma, please," he croaked, trying his best to stay upright. "You can't leave, I don't want you to leave!"

But Emma was done. Well and truly done. "Just go home, Neal. Go home and sleep it out. If you're really lucky, you won't be able to remember any of this tomorrow." She sighed and muttered: "it's worse for me, though, because I'll be able to remember all of this bullshit..."

Neal didn't give up, though. If anything, he deserved a medal for being a fucking stubborn idiot. "We were in love!" he sneered.

"Yeah. Were." Emma said flatly and rolled her eyes. She was fed up. She was tired, she wanted to go to bed. But more importantly, she wanted this idiot out of yard before he woke up everyone in Storybrooke. Emma didn't need anyone to know about this. Storybrooke was a small town. People gossiped.

"We can be again!" Neal half-yelled.

Emma ended up snorted at THAT ridiculous claim. "Yeah, right, I don't think so, buddy," she said with a headshake. Then she turned around and began to walk away from him. She had hoped she could get rid of him on her own, but it was obvious that she needed assistance. She needed her dad to threaten him with throwing his ass in jail.

"I'll prove it to you!" Neal continued. His voice was definitely rising in volume.

Emma felt herself getting dangerously close to the point of snapping. The point where she screamed in his face. And possibly punched him in the nose. She had already done it once. She could do it again. In fact she would take great pleasure in landing one across his stupid face again. She whirled around on the spot. Neal was standing behind her, and Emma narrowed her eyes at him. If looks could kill, Neal would most certainly be dead right now! "what the hell are you even talking about?!" she spat. Now her voice was reaching a certain volume too.

Neal stumbled forward, suddenly he was in her face, and before Emma could do anything, even blink, he had grabbed her shoulders tightly, was digging his fingers into her skin, and was forcing a kiss onto her lips. Literally. Just slamming his mouth against hers. His mouth was very wet, and he stank of alcohol and old sweat. His clothes definitely had not been washed for days. And neither had he. Most definitely not. It made Emma feel positively sick and disgusted, and she immediately started to struggle to get him off of her. Nothing happened. For someone who was as stinking drunk as he was, Neal was pretty determined. And good at keep clutching onto her shoulders. He was trying to force her mouth open now. Trying to force her to respond to the kiss. He was panting now.

If there was something in this world Emma did not want, it was Neal's tongue in her mouth. Or his lips against hers. She thoroughly sized up the situation. Stopped struggling for a second. And then she did the only thing she could do. Raised her right knee. Took aim. And then jerked it forward as sharply and hard as she possibly could. She would never ever forget the sound it made when she kneed Neal in the balls. She could have sworn that something went 'crunch'. Good.

Neal immediately let go of her and fell to the ground, roaring like the wounded animal he was. He ended up sprawled on the lawn with one hand cupping his crotch and still yelling in pain.

"What the FUCK do you think you're doing?!" Emma screamed, thoroughly ignoring Neal's moans of distress. "Are you fucking insane or something?! Did you seriously think THAT would work?! Kissing me?! You stupid, fucking idiot!"

"Fuck, Emma, I think you've damaged something!" Neal groaned. He was still cupping his balls. And panting. But now for very different reasons.

"Good!" Emma spat, putting as much pressure as she possibly could on that one little word. "I'm fucking glad I did, you wanker! That's what you fucking deserve for this! You must be fucking insane if you for as much as a MINUTE thought that that was going to work, you motherfucking asshat-"

"What the HELL is going on here?!"

Now someone else was yelling. Emma turned around and came face to face with her father who had come out on the porch. Wielding his service weapon. Mary Margaret was standing behind him. With the baseball bat that normally resided under Emma's bed. The noise had woken them both, and Emma immediately felt guilty for bringing her mess into their yard. But maybe she shouldn't. She had done nothing wrong. Neal had. He was the one with the problem. And he was the one who had come to the yard.

"Emma, kiddo, what's goin on?" David asked, voice softer now, and lowering his weapon.

Mary Margaret did not. She kept her eyes fixed on Neal whilst grabbing the baseball bat tightly.

"I found Neal half-sitting in one of the bushes whilst drunk, so I went out here to get him to leave. We argued and he kissed me, so I kneed him the balls," Emma quickly summarized and pulled her hair away from her face as she spat on the ground. "And I'm sorry for spitting, but..." she didn't finish the sentence. She just spat on the ground one more time in an attempt to get any lingering feeling of Neal's tongue in her mouth out of her system.

David raised his weapon again, and his eyes were tiny cracks as he glared at Neal who was still laying on the ground. "You did WHAT to my daughter?!"

"Sheriff Swan, there's been a mistake," Neal groaned, still cupping his crotch and panting from the pain. "All of this is just one big mistake!"

"A mistake?!" Emma sneered. "You fucking kissed me, you stupid moron! You're right, that was definitely a mistake, but it's on you, buddy!"

"Sheriff Swan- David-"

"Shut up and stay where you are!" David said harshly and turned around. He stomped back inside the house.

Emma felt her mom putting a hand on her shoulder, and she reached back and patted Mary Margaret's hand once. She was okay. Just a little shook up. She hadn't expected Neal to go as far as this. But she was unharmed. She just needed to brush her teeth a lot.

Neal was still moaning on the ground. He had curled into some kind of fetal like position. There was definitely no risk of him doing a runner. Emma would be surprised if he was even capable of walking after what she did to him. That crunching sound it had made when her knee connected with his balls had sounded excruciatingly painful. Emma didn't feel the least ashamed over what she had done. Nor did she feel sorry for Neal. She was the one who had been attacked. All she had done was defending herself. And she had done a damn good job!

Emma heard a jingling sound behind her, and she turned around just in time to see her dad coming back outside. The gun was in his pocket now, and the jingling sound she had heard a second ago, was the sound of the silvery handcuffs jingling in his hand.

David walked over to Neal and shot him a look of pure disgust. "Get up!" he sneered.

"Can't..." Neal groaned.

Emma's father sighed deeply, as though he was the one in pain. Then he bent down and grabbed Neal by the collar of his shirt. He roughly pulled the other man to his feet, and Neal howled in pain at the shift. "Shit!" he cursed. "You gotta take me to the hospital or something!"

Ignoring Neal's pathetic attempts at getting out of the situation he had brought himself in, David gathered his former son-in-law's hands on his back. He slipped the handcuffs on him, and they made a rather satisfying sound when they clicked shut around his wrists. David too sounded extremely satisfied and smug when he announced: "Neal Cassidy-Gold, you're under arrest for trespassing, sexual assault, and-" he glanced at Mary Margaret's trampled flowerbed. "Destruction of personal property-"

"Fuck you!" Neal slurred and struggled against David. He ended up bumping his shoulder harshly against his former father-in-law's.

"David!" Mary Margaret exclaimed, fingers gripping the bat tightly when she saw how Neal shoved David.

"-For resisting the arrest and exercising violence against an officer," David dully continued, not the least bit bothered by Neal's shenanigans. "You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defense if you do not mention when questioned something you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence."

"Fuck you!" Neal drunkenly bellowed. "Fuck all of you!" he glared at Emma. "You bitch! I'll fucking get you for this!"

Emma had to marvel at his ability to dig himself in deeper. It was incredible, really.

"Let's go, Romeo," David said gruffly. He roughly began to pull Neal towards the squad car.

Neal didn't exactly walk. More like hobbling. Limping. And groaning and moaning in pain with each step he took. David paid little attention to that, and his movements were nothing but unforgiving as he roughly shoved Neal into the back of the squad car and slammed the door shut behind him. Emma was sure she heard a few curse words as David climbed onto the driver's seat. David hardly ever cursed. Not unless he was seriously pissed. And pissed was exactly what he was right now. Even his driving reflected that. The tires squealed as he pulled out of the garage, and the blue lights atop the police car were flashing as he drove down the road. He meant business!

Emma kept watching until she couldn't see the blue lights anymore. Then she took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. Not that she was afraid. Just good old fashioned pissed off!

"Emma, honey, are you alright?!" Mary Margaret asked, now letting go of the baseball bat to cup Emma's face.

"Yeah, I'm good," Emma said. She wasn't completely 'good', but she didn't want to make her mom worry more than she already did.

"Did he touch you?!" Mary Margaret continued, grasping Emma's wrists and clearly searching for signs of violence.

"No," Emma said. "Not really. He just... kissed me." even saying it out loud made her insides curl and nausea rise in her body.

"And that is more than enough damage!" her mom snapped and pulled Emma in for a hug. "Come here!"

"Mom, I'm okay," Emma assured as she hugged her mom back. "Really, I am. I gave him what he deserved."

"You did, and I'm proud of you. And rest assure that your father is too." Mary Margaret held Emma close for a moment before releasing her and saying: "come, let's go inside. I'll make us some cocoa with cinnamon. I think we both could need that!"

"That sounds good, but there's just one thing I need to do first," Emma said and cringed slightly. Despite spitting moments ago, her mouth still felt absolutely foul. She could taste Neal. Could feel his wet mouth against hers. His foul, stinking breath. His tongue in her mouth. It made her feel all kinds of sick and nauseous, and she was relieved her dad had shown up when he did. Not because Emma had been afraid of Neal, but because she wasn't sure how she would have avoided kicking Neal in the crotch multiple times.

Once upstairs in the bathroom, Emma brushed her teeth. And brushed her teeth. Until they were sparkling. Until her mouth foamed and her gums hurt. It helped. Ish. The foul taste gradually disappeared, but the feeling of Neal kissing her, his tongue in her mouth lingered.

"Urgh," Emma muttered as she spat in the sink again for good measurement. That absolute dickhead! Emma was more angry than she was upset about the unwanted kiss. Maybe the upset reaction would come later, but for now, she was so pissed off she could have legged it to the police station and given Neal a few solid whacks. And a few kicks in the crotch.

When it got to the point where she couldn't brush her teeth without her gums bleeding, Emma concluded her visit to the bathroom and went back downstairs.

Her mom was in the kitchen. She had slipped a flower patterned bathroom over her pajamas and was standing in front of the stove, gently stirring something in a pot. She looked over her shoulder and smiled when her daughter came into the room. "Hi, sweetie. How are you feeling?"

Emma shrugged. "Okay. I guess. Shocked. I had no idea Neal would go to that kind of extremes..."

"None of us had," Mary Margaret said as she carefully poured the hot chocolate into two mugs. "Otherwise your father would have arrested him a hell of a lot sooner!"

Emma chuckled a little. It wasn't often her mom cursed. "Yeah."

"There we go," Mary Margaret said as she placed the mug of cocoa in front of Emma. "Be careful. It's very hot. Do you want something to eat as well? Some toast? Or maybe something sweet? I could make you a-"

"Mom," Emma gently interrupted and put a hand over her mom's. "I'm okay."

"No, you're not!" Mary Margaret said almost testily. "You're not okay, Emma! Because what happened to you was not okay! I'm your mother, I'm supposed to protect you from bad things! That rule still applies even though you're all grown up and knows how to defend yourself. And I couldn't protect you from this!"

"It's not your fault, mom," Emma said firmly. "The only one to blame for this is Neal. That dickhead."

For once, Mary Margaret didn't scold Emma for the crass language. She just raised her mug of cocoa. "I'll drink to that."

"Cheers," Emma chuckled as she lifted her own mug. The first sip of cocoa felt like a healing balm trickling down her throat. She felt a little bit better. Sitting with her mom and drinking cocoa in the middle of the night reminded her of when she was a little girl who had woken up from a nightmare, and the nostalgic feeling was like a warm blanket being draped around her shoulders. She would be okay. She was certain she would. As long as she never saw Neal again...

It took as long as two hours and several mugs of cocoa before David made his return. He came into the kitchen wearing his jacket over his pajama bottoms, looking like he had aged twenty years in the two hours he had been gone. "My god, what a night!" he exclaimed as he sat down heavily on one of the kitchen chairs. He rubbed his face tiredly. But even though he looked tired, he also looked murderous, and his voice was all venom when he hissed: "Neal is not getting away with this!"

"What happened?" Emma asked. She had been dying to ask that question ever since her dad took Neal away.

"Well, for starters, I had to take the bastard to the hospital for a checkup," David said darkly.

"Oh my god!" Emma said and cupped her mouth. "Did I damage something? Is he gonna press charge?!"

"No," David said tightly. "Apart from some superficial bruising in the..." he gestured vaguely. "Delicate areas, Neal is unharmed. He'll have to be careful when moving around for a week or so, but he's fine. Only his pride took a serious blow."

Emma tried not to feel too proud of herself. "And where is he now?"

"He's in the cell," David said smugly and rubbed his hands together. "And he's going to stay there until we can decide what kind of conviction, he'll get for this."

"Conviction?" Emma's eyebrows rose. "Seriously? Can you actually build a case against him? For kissing me?"

"Damn right we can!" David said and took a large swig of the cocoa Mary Margaret had served for him. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Because it turns out we have a witness!"

"We do? Who?"

"Eugenia Lucas," David said. "She had been doing inventory at the diner until late and was on her way home when she heard raised voices from our yard. She stopped to see what it was about, and she saw you and Neal argue. She was about to step in when your mother and I came into the yard." He took another swig of the cocoa. "She called me while I was driving to the station with Neal and asked if she could come down to the station immediately. She was there five minutes later and could describe everything in detail. The argument between you and Neal. What he did to you, and how you kneed him in the..." he cleared his throat. "Well, Eugenia made a point of telling me that she had witnessed Neal assaulting you. I took her statement, and she's more than willing to repeat it in court if necessary."

"Wow," Emma said simply.

David shook his head. "Of course Robert Gold showed up at the station and tried to buy himself out of the pickle. It was very satisfying to tell him that his money would be no good this time."

Emma chuckled, but was still a bit confused. "I don't get it," she admitted. "How can Neal be facing anything but a fine and a warning for this?"

"He can because prior to coming to our house, he had been at the Rabbit Hole," David said. "Where he got into a brawl with Keith Nottingham. According to Neal, Nottingham 'provoked' him and had to be 'punished' for it. It's a bit unclear what really happened, but Nottingham is currently in the hospital where he's been treated for superficial wounds to the face and back of his head made with a glass bottle."

"Holy shit! That explains why his knuckles were all fucked up"" Emma exclaimed. Neal had really snapped this time!

"That's one count of assault, one count of sexual assault, destruction of personal property, trespassing, resisting arrest, violence against an officer and threats made," David listed. "Rest assure Neal is in a LOT of trouble!"

"Yeah, I'm starting to realize that, but-" Emma frowned. "Threats? What threats? He said, 'fuck you', but I don't think that counts as a threat, dad."

"You're right, it does not," David agreed. "But he made certain threats at the station. Threats that were overheard by myself and several other officers."

"What did he say?" Emma asked.

"That does not matter. The point is that he said it, that it's on the video camera, and that it will be included in the official report."

"Dad, I appreciate that you're trying to protect me," Emma said softly, now patting her dad's hand. "But I'm a big girl. I can handle hearing what Neal said about me." she was actually just looking for more excuses to hate Neal even more.

"The threats weren't directed at you, sweetie," David said just as softly and gave Emma's had a pat in return.

Emma's heart immediately started to thump harshly in her chest. Red-hot anger flooded her body. Her father didn't have to say more. She could guess the rest. "He was threatening Regina, wasn't he?"

"Emma-"

"Wasn't. He?!"

"He was," David confirmed tightly. "Apparently, he's under the impression that Regina 'stole' you from him, and he was angry about that and chose to express his anger in a most crass manner. And before you ask, no, I am not going to repeat what he said about her. Just know that he's not getting away with this. Assaulting Mr. Nottingham and you and then proceeding to threaten my daughter-in-law WILL land him with more than a fine and a warning!"

Despite feeling utterly pissed off because of the threats Neal had made against Regina, Emma still smiled at her father. "You called her your daughter-in-law."

"Well..." David chuckled. "Isn't that what she is?"

Emma could only smile and nod. That was most certainly what Regina was. And the more they talked about her, the more Emma thought about her, she realized that she needed to hear Regina's voice. She had to tell her girlfriend about this. She knew that Regina of course would become upset, but she couldn't just keep this information from Regina. She would find out somehow, and she would be devastated if she found out Emma purposefully had kept it from her.

Emma glanced at her watch. It was 01:31 in the morning. Meaning that it was 07:31 in Madrid. Pretty early. Regina always slept in after she'd had a long shift. Emma knew that, and she normally always made a point of calling Regina after ten o'clock, but tonight she couldn't wait. She had to talk to her right now. She would just have to live with the fact that she had robbed a pregnant woman of sleeping in.

She emptied her mug of cocoa, rose from her seat and announced: "I'm going upstairs to call Regina."

"You do that, sweetie," Mary Margaret smiled. "If you need anything, we're right here, okay?"

"I know. Thanks, guys," Emma replied and returned the smile. "But I'll be okay. I just need to talk to Regina. And I'm glad Neal is behind bars."

"You're not the only one!" David sneered. "If I hadn't been a cop, I would have resolved to a very different kind of punish-"

"David!" Mary Margaret scolded. "Neal is behind bars. A case is being built against him as we speak. That's all that matters now."

"You're right," David deflated. "Of course."

Emma hid her grin as she turned around and walked upstairs. Trust her mom to calm her dad. That's how it had always been with those two. Her mom was the calming effect her dad needed when he felt upset. And that was exactly how Emma felt about Regina now. She already knew that she would feel so much better once she heard Regina's sweet voice. All morning raspy and sexy. Maybe she could even convince Regina to speak a little Spanish. That too had an amazing effect on Emma. But not exactly a calming one...

Emma chuckled to herself as she made it up the stairs to her room. She exhaled a long breath it felt like she had been holding ever since spotting Neal outside. That idiot. To think that he had actually had the audacity to kiss her! Fucking kiss her! But he hadn't walked away unscathed. Emma didn't feel an ounce of guilt over what she had done. This was the first time she had kneed anyone in the balls, but if she really had managed to bruise Neal, she had done one hell of a good job. Being the daughter of a sheriff paid off. Being forced to take self-defense lessons at fifteen had paid off. Emma reminded herself to thank her dad for it later. She chuckled again. She would

never forget the sight of her parents standing on the porch with weapons raised and ready to fight.

She flopped back on the bed and grabbed her phone. Found Regina's number on speed dial and brought the phone up to her ear. Waited patiently while listening to the dialing tone. Maybe Regina had muted her phone while she slept. That was actually very possible. Emma felt a little bad for calling her girlfriend so early, but she really needed to talk to Regina. If Regina didn't pick up, she would leave a message on her voicemail.

"Hola?"

Emma smiled when she heard the familiar voice in the other end. So Regina was in fact awake. "Hey, señorita," she said half-jokingly. "Did I wake you?"

"No-no, not at all," Regina said quickly. "Hi, preciosa!"

"Hey," Emma said again. "Are you sure you're okay? You sound all out of breath." That was true. Regina really did sound exceptionally breathless. Maybe she had been jolted from her sleep by the ringing phone. Maybe she had been sleeping really heavily or something.

"I'm fine," Regina said quickly, and Emma heard some shuffling in the other end. "Well, now I'm worried because you're calling me at... Dios, it's the middle of the night in Storybrooke, Emma! What's going on?!"

"Well..." Emma felt bad. Maybe she shouldn't tell Regina. She already sounded alert. And she was pregnant. Emma couldn't upset her like this. But it was too late.

"¿Qué?" Regina pressed. "What's going on, querida? Did something happen to you? Your mom? Your dad?"

"Neal showed up in the garden a couple of hours ago," Emma said quickly. Might as well just do it. Get it over with and rip off the band-aid before Regina got all worried and worked up.

"Okay?" Regina said, and Emma heard more shuffling. "Go on?"

"He was at the diner when my parents and I were out celebrating my future move to California, and he overheard us talking about it," Emma quickly summed up. "He was really drunk when he showed up, and he basically served me a lot of bullshit on how we belonged together and that he 'loves' me..."

"Dios," Regina sighed in the other end. "Are you alright?"

"I will be," Emma said. "But, uhh... the thing is..." she licked her lips. "Words were exchanged between Neal and I. Crass words. We actually argued. I tried to get him to realize that I had moved on, he tried to get me back, and bla-bla-bla, but anyway, when I was about to walk away from the situation, he, uhh... he kissed me." god, saying it out loud made her feel all nauseous. Her skin crawled and her mouth felt foul all over again.

Silence in the other end.

"Regina?" Emma asked softly. "Honey, are you still there?"

More silence.

"Regina?" Emma called again. Now she was getting a bit worried. Maybe she should have been more clear. "Obviously, I did NOT want him to kiss me! Not at all! He literally caught by surprise, but when I realized what was happening, I kneed him right in the balls! I swear to god I was not-"

"¿Lo dice en serio?! ¡Voy a matarlo! Ese imbécil!¡Ese estúpido y jodido gilipollas! ¡Lo juro, iré a Maine y patearé su trasero! Si alguna vez lo vuelvo a ver, ¡le arrancaré la estúpida cabeza! ¡Ese estúpido bastardo! Jodidamente mataré ese jodido idiota!"

Emma literally had to move the phone slightly away from her ear. As it turned out, she didn't even need to ask Regina to speak Spanish. Regina was doing that oh, so freely. Emma had absolutely no idea what her girlfriend was saying, but she was fairly certain that Regina was in the middle of pouring shit over Neal's miserable head. In Spanish. Which was kinda beautiful, really.

"Al diablo con él!" Regina sneered. She was so far from done. "¡¿Qué demonios está mal con él?! ¡Ya he abofeteado a un idiota! ¡Estaré encantado de hacerlo de nuevo! ¡Y otra vez!"

"Okay, breathe," Emma said, gently but firmly cutting Regina's stream of Spanish words off. "You can't upset yourself like that, beautiful girl. It's not good for you or the baby."

"Estoy extremadamente tranquila!"

Emma laughed softly. "I didn't understand that. Actually, I haven't been able to understand a word you've said for the past ten seconds..."

"Just as well," Regina huffed, switching to English. "All of it would have made my dad scold me, I'm sure."

Emma chortled quietly.

"It's not funny, Emma!" Regina insisted. "He kissed you! That's not even remotely funny!"

"You're right, it's not," Emma agreed. "But as I said, I kneed him in the balls..."

Now Regina was the one who laughed. "¡Estoy tan orgulloso de ti!"

"Huh?"

"I'm proud of you," the younger woman quickly translated. "So proud of you! Where is that idiot now?!"

"At the station," Emma said smugly. "My parents were woken up because of all the yelling. My dad cuffed him, charged him and shoved his ass into a squad car." She ran her fingers through her hair. "Neal's in a lot of trouble. Apparently, he sent the owner of the Rabbit Hole to the hospital before showing up in my garden."

"Are you serious?!"

"Yeah. He's so not getting away with this," Emma said darkly. "They'll build a case against him for assault. Ruby's grandma saw what happened. She saw Neal kiss me and was about to come help me when I kneed him in the balls. My dad was pretty ecstatic about there being a witness. Builds a stronger case against him to hear it from someone else. But it would never be word against word. We've got a security camera installed. And so does the Rabbit Hole. Neal is knee-deep in shit!"

"Good!" Regina said darkly. "That fucking asshole!"

Emma chuckled again. "Yeah, you got that right."

"Are you okay, querida? Truly?"

"Feelin' better now that I'm hearing your voice. Of course, a hug would have been really awesome, but this is really, really good too," Emma smiled.

"We can talk for as long as you like, querida. I'm right here," Regina assured.

"I like the sound of that," Emma said softly. "How are YOU feeling?"

"Me?" Regina chuckled dryly. "Querida, that is not what we're talking about right now..."

"You're just as important," Emma said firmly. "So, how are you feeling? Okay?"

"Sí-sí, I'm fine," Regina assured. "Don't you worry."

"Yeah, right." Emma snorted. "I'm always worried about you. And I feel guilty for waking you."

"You didn't wake me."

"Are you sure?" Emma pressed. "You were all out of breath when you picked up. Are you sure I didn't jolt you awake or something?"

"Mhmm. Absolutely," Regina said lightly. Too lightly. Emma immediately caught a whiff of something in her voice. Something that needed to be investigated.

"Are you absolutely sure you weren't asleep?" she asked again.

"Yes, Em-ma. I'm sure."

"Really? You were already awake?"

"Sí."

"It's not like you to be awake so early," Emma wondered out loud. "Were you hungry or something?" she smiled to herself. She found the idea of a ruffled, sleepy Regina waking up to grab a snack adorable."

"No. I'm not hungry yet," Regina said.

"What are you doing then? Watching crappy television?" Regina often did that in the morning.

"N-no. I'm still in bed."

"So I DID wake you!" Emma exclaimed. "You were lying to spare my feelings, weren't you? I knew it!"

"Emma, I was awake already," Regina said strained. "I just haven't gotten out of bed yet."

That could have been a very sufficient answer if it hadn't been for how well Emma knew her girlfriend. "But it's so early," she said again. "You're never awake this early! Something has to be going on, beautiful girl. What aren't you telling me?"

"I was awake because I was in the middle of... exercising," Regina said a bit tightly.

"Exercising?" Emma echoed and frowned at the odd direction this conversation had taken. "What kind of exercise was that even?"

Regina sighed deeply. "The kind of exercise that leaves you breathless."

Oh. Ohhh! Certain things immediately clicked in Emma's head. Regina's breathlessness. The disorientated way she had said 'hola'. The roughness in her voice. Emma had interrupted her right in the middle of some 'one-on-one time'. It was completely obvious exactly what Regina had been doing, and yet Emma couldn't resist asking: "you mean that you were... having a little morning fun?"

"Yes," Regina said a tad snippily and sighed deeply as though she was suffering. "I'm pregnant and horny. What else is new?"

Emma chuckled. Regina sounded both irritated and like she had been caught doing something naughty. It was all very sexy. Emma's next brilliant question more than reflected that: "are you naked?"

Regina sighed again. "Yes, Emma. I'm naked."

"God damn!" Neal forcing a kiss onto her lips was long forgotten now. The only thing Emma could think about was her girlfriend. And the fact that said girlfriend was naked. And horny.

Regina chuckled dryly in the other end.

"Did you cum?" Emma asked unabashedly and grinned as she licked her lips. This was an interesting conversation.

"Emma Swan!" Regina scolded.

"What? I'm your girlfriend," Emma reminded her. "I can ask those kind of question, can't I?"

Regina mumbled something vaguely.

"Did you?" Emma asked sweetly.

"No," Regina said bitterly. "The phone call threw me off."

"Oh, shit. I'm sorry," Emma said. And she actually was sorry. She had a robbed a pregnant woman on her pleasure.

"No matter," Regina chuckled dryly. "You are more important. Are you certain you're okay, mi amor?"

"I am," Emma said quickly. "Can I just ask one more thing?"

"I suspect you will whether I'll say yes or not."

Emma chuckled at Regina's attitude and then asked her question: "is this a regular morning thing now? You waking up early to do things to yourself that makes me wanna buy a plane ticket right now?"

Regina almost made a giggling sound. "Well... I have been waking up feeling in a particular mood for the past four days, and I figured instead of torturing myself, I'd get it out the way as soon as I woke up. Start my day with a clear head and... and satisfied."

"Damn," Emma said again and felt a flush creep up her neck. "I really hope that's a thing when you come here. I can't wait for you to get here so I can help you out. No more doing it yourself."

"Emma! Your parents live there too!" Regina pointed out and sounded adorably scandalized.

"Well..." Emma chuckled and lowered her voice. "We'll just have to be really quiet, won't we?"

"Eres traviesa, Señorita Swan."

"You know it," Emma said and felt a pleasant tingle down her spine.

"Stop turning me on," Regina scolded. "We were actually talking about something serious."

"We were?"

"Querida."

"Oh, right. My idiot ex-boyfriend. Yeah. But weren't we done talking about him?"

"I don't know about that," Regina said darkly. "I could think of a few more things I'd like to say about him."

"Oh yeah? And what would that be then?"

"Odio a ese maldito bastardo. ¡Ese idiota besó a mi novia! Si alguna vez lo vuelvo a ver, ¡también lo patearé en la entrepierna!"

"And now I'M getting turned on," Emma said, and that wasn't a joke. "I only understood 'bastardo' and 'idiota', but damn, I love when you speak Spanish!"

"I didn't even get this pissed at Robin," Regina sneered.

"I did," Emma said darkly. "Now there's a real bastardo."

"Neal's a bigger bastardo!" Regina said firmly. "He kissed you!"

"Uhhh... honey, Robin got you pregnant," Emma gently pointed out.

"Sí, but not deliberately. At least I don't think so. No, that would be fucked up. But Neal knew exactly what he was doing when he was kissing you. That makes him the bigger bastardo!"

"Can't we just agree that they're both pendejos?" Emma suggested.

"Sí, that's a great idea, querida."

"And let's talk about something else, yeah?" Emma continued and sat up in bed. "Like... the fact that you're naked."

Regina chuckled in the other end. "Or we could talk about how late it is in Storybrooke and how you should be asleep instead of talking to me?"

"No-no, I'd much rather talk about your nakedness, beautiful girl..."

Regina laughed sweetly. And when she spoke again, her voice was soft and slightly raspy. She was clearly open to talk more about that particular subject...

To Be Continued...

(A/N: Well, I think it's safe to say that this marks the end of Neal's involvement in this story xD now we'll turn our gaze elsewhere. First towards a small timejump in which our favorite ladies will reunite at last!)

Spanish translations:

Hola= Hello.

¿Qué?= What?

Dios= God.

¿Lo dice en serio?!= Are you serious?!

¡Voy a matarlo!= I'm going to kill him!

Ese imbécil!= That asshole!

¡Ese estúpido y jodido gilipollas!= That stupid fucking asshole!

¡Lo juro, iré a Maine y patearé su trasero!= I swear, I'll go to Maine and kick his ass!

Si alguna vez lo vuelvo a ver, ¡le arrancaré la estúpida cabeza!= If I ever see him again, I'll rip his stupid head off!

¡Ese estúpido bastardo!= That stupid bastard!

Jodidamente mataré ese jodido idiota!= I'll fucking kill that fucking idiot!

Al diablo con él!= To hell with him!

¡¿Qué demonios está mal con él?!= What the hell is wrong with him?!

Ya he abofeteado a un idiota! ¡Estaré encantado de hacerlo de nuevo! ¡Y otra vez!"= I've already slapped an idiot! I will be happy to do it again! And again!"

Estoy extremadamente tranquila!= I am extremely calm!

Odio a ese maldito bastardo. ¡Ese idiota besó a mi novia! Si alguna vez lo vuelvo a ver, ¡también lo patearé en la entrepierna!= I hate that damn bastard. That idiot kissed my girlfriend! If I ever see him again, I'll kick him in the crotch too!

Eres traviesa, Señorita Swan= You're naughty, Miss Swan.