Life with a newborn has inspired me to write, so I'm trying to update as much as I can. Hope y'all are enjoying!

All characters belong to Sega/Archie except my OCs.

Chapter 25

I can't remember the last time I was content with life. I had to be younger; maybe in elementary school. Before hormones. Before the acknowledgement of societal stereotypes. Before the construction of my masks. Before my mental health went to total shit.

I used to miss those times. After freshman year, I'd given up on the thought I'd ever be satisfied with the superficial life I was living. I'd accepted that I was unhappy and there was nothing I could do about it. I'd just have to deal with it. I never thought my life could take a turn for the better. Not after that horrific summer.

Truth be told, I was afraid of the happiness I'd be feeling lately. With every good day, I feared a bad one would follow. Life was going too well.

I'd fallen into the routine of spending all my free time with Manic and Shadow. After basketball practice, I'd pick up the two and we'd hang out in the den. Usually, Manic would play video games while Shadow and I worked on our homework. Occasionally, Manic would ditch us to hang out with his own friends. Those were the times when I valued my empty house. I was able to make out with Shadow without worrying about someone interrupting.

On the weekends, I tried to plan small activities for the three of us to do. Often, we'd end up at the mall or an arcade. Manic would drag Shadow around, babbling about whatever entered his little head. I strayed behind them, watching with a small smile. No matter how much time the three of us spent together, I never grew tired of observing their budding friendship.

Although mundane, our time together made me the happiest I'd been in a while. So much so that even the activities I absolutely despised didn't seem so bad.

Student council meetings stopped getting on my last nerve. Basketball practice with my pig-headed teammates seemed to fly. Even the stupid dinner parties my parents dragged me to stopped triggering the waiting flares in my mind. Somehow, I managed to maintain my mask without much effort – almost as if I was on autopilot. Which is ironic because for once I wasn't.

Instead of ignoring all my feelings and repressing every single emotion that flew through my body, I acknowledged how I was feeling. I identified my annoyance during meetings with my fellow council members, the irritation whenever Scourge and his followers said some dumb shit to me, and the loneliness in the large crowds of pestering adults. Somehow, this allowed me to put more emphasis on the utter joy I felt whenever I was able to spend time with my brother and Shadow.

Still, the joy came with its own form of anxiety. The ending of a particularly happy day meant potentially going back into the dark abyss of my mind. While sleeping was always an escape, it was usually from the awful reality I called my life. Now, it was a small break from this blissful fantasy I was living in. The pause, although only for a few hours, meant opportunity for the entire dream to fall apart. Even when I slept next to Shadow, listening to his breathing and holding him in my arms, I was afraid something might rip him away.

What if he woke up and decided he didn't like me anymore? What if my parents found out about us? What if someone from school spotted us together or suspected our relationship? Or what if I did something stupid and fucked everything up – just like I always do? The fears were endless.

Almost every night, I couldn't help but wonder how long I was going to feel like this. While I wanted it to last forever, I knew it was only temporary. Life is never this good – not for long.

I tried to push my anxieties to the back of my head as I prepared for our Valentine's Day date. A particularly difficult task on a night like this.

For the first time, Shadow and I were going out for dinner. I'd made reservations at a high-end restaurant near the edge of town. After extensive research and canvassing, I concluded not many people from my personal life dined there. It was way too formal to attract an abundance of teenagers and yet not expensive enough for my parents' colleagues. It seemed like the perfect place to take Shadow – especially on such a cheesy, romantic holiday.

Still, I couldn't help but worry.

"Looking sharp," my father's voice boomed frown the doorway.

I blinked out of my scattered brain and met my father's gaze in the mirror. Feigning a smile, I straightened the perfect knot of my tie. "Thank you."

He tilted his head. "Where are you going in that suit?"

"It's Valentine's Day," I explained. "I have a date."

His brow rose. "With who?" He asked, ice threatening to form on his words.

"I've been dating this girl from one of the public schools. Her name's Shade," I recalled my lie. As much as my basketball buddies bugged me about it, the fib was hard to forget.

"Oh. You've never mentioned her."

"We've been taking things slow."

"Well, your mother and I would love to meet her sometime."

"I know. The two of you have just been so busy lately, I didn't want to take up any time."

He waved his hand. "It'd be no big deal. We love meeting your girlfriends." A crease appeared between his brows. "How did you meet this one?"

Shit. None of my buddies had asked me that. They didn't care about first meetings. All they wanted to know was if I was having sex or not. I hadn't been able concoct a story about the first time I met this imaginary girl. "The library," I blurted out. "On Sunday's, I'd usually see her doing her homework. I always thought she was pretty, and she'd smile at me when she saw me. One day, I manned up and asked to sit with her. It's been history since then."

"Library, huh? Is she smart?"

"She works hard," I replied. "Hence why she was in the library so much."

"I see." He summoned the tiniest hint of a smile. "Have fun tonight."

"I will."

I let go of my breath as he disappeared down the hall. Hopefully he brought the load of bullshit I spewed. Judging from the lack of intrusive questions, I honestly wasn't so sure. Although I'd mastered the art of lying throughout the years, my dad could still occasionally catch on to my deception. Could this be on those times? The thought introduced a new load of anxiety on my shoulders.

No, no, no, I scolded myself. I wasn't going to do this to myself – not tonight.

The ride to Shadow's house eased some of my nerves. The excitement to see him overpowered the nagging urge to stress.

I walked up to his front door with a small bouquet of red roses and a small box of chocolates. It was cheesy and stupid, but I didn't know what else to bring. After all, it was Valentine's Day. What else was I supposed to give him?

Shadow seemed to have the same idea. He opened the door, armed with the same gifts. But, I didn't really pay much mind to that. Instead, my eyes scoured over his fresh appearance.

His curls were cut the shortest I'd ever seen, still long enough to wrap around the edges of his ears but none of it flopped onto his forehead. He'd retired his baggy tee shirts and ripped jeans for a sleek black suit, complete with a red dress shirt and shiny dress shoes. The buttons near his neck were open, exposing his collar bones and a peek of his chest. A novel scent of cologne wafted around him, tempting me to lean in and receive a better whiff.

"Hey," he spoke when I didn't. His brown cheeks darkened under my explicit gaze. "You look nice."

A smile tugged at my lips. "You…you look…"

"Like a fucking dork? I know. But you said this restaurant was high end, so I didn't want to be underdressed." A crease formed between his brows. "Is it too much?"

"No, no. You…you look…" I couldn't find the words to express how fucking good he looked. The suit emphasized his slim figure, wrapping around the muscles in his arms and torso in all the right places. The scarlet color of his shirt made the bronze of his skin pop and contrasted nicely against his ruby irises. And I didn't even know where to start with his hair. With the absence of his curls dangling in his face and hiding most of his features, I noticed his defined cheekbones and strong jawline. He was the most beautiful human I'd ever seen in my life.

"Stop staring before I go upstairs and change."

I blinked out of the awestruck daze. "Sorry. I… It's just… You…" I smiled. "You look amazing, Shad."

"Thanks." He glanced between the identical gifts in our hands. "Should we have established who gets what?"

"I don't know. I'm used to dating girls, remember?"

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. More candy to go around." He took the gifts out my hand. "Here, I'll put these in the fridge so we can eat it later."

"Okay." I stepped inside and closed the door behind me.

Shadow raced into the kitchen.

I watched from the doorway as he put both of our bouquets together in a vase and shoved the chocolates into the refrigerator.

"Ready to go?" he asked as he approached me.

"In a second." I grabbed the collar of his suit and pulled him against me. Eagerly, I leaned in and kissed his sweet lips. With my tongue, I eased his mouth open and lapped up his fresh mint taste.

Shadow's chuckle rumbled against my kisses. He wrapped his arms around me, relaxing under my sensual lips. He played into my desires for a few moments before steadying our movements. Gradually, our kisses began to slow down until they were nothing more but soft pecks. "Let's go eat dinner," he said. "Later, I'll let you make out with me as much as you want."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

He nodded, his cheeks darkening.

"Hm, it needs to be Valentine's Day more often."

We took the longer drive out to the restaurant. Luxury cars were packed into the parking lot. Couples of all ages, dressed in beautiful dresses and fresh suits, strolled in and out of the restaurant.

My eyes caught two women giggling as they walked across the lot. Their hands were intertwined, and large smiles conquered their faces. One of the women broke their hands' embrace and wrapped her slender arms around her partner. Gleefully, she pressed her red lips against the other woman's cheek. Another laugh escaped both of their lips at the bright stain she'd left behind.

The interior of the restaurant was way above my expectations. The lights were dimmed so much so that the candles on the tables lit up the room, giving a private golden glow for each couple. A live band played on a small stage in the corner of the room with small lanterns surrounding their set. Subtle yet mouthwatering scents wafted through the air, colliding with the soft chatter and clinking of silverware throughout the establishment.

I almost frowned at the line on my boyfriend's lips. "What's wrong?" I asked after we were seated.

His eyes were fixed on the band, examining the musicians' talent as they played a romantic tune. At the sound of my voice, his gaze returned to me. "Nothing," he said. "I've just… I've never been somewhere this nice before. Are you sure it's not too expensive? I can go half on the bill."

"No. You're not paying for anything. I promised I'd take care of our date tonight." I reached across the table to grab his hand. "It's the least I can do after all the food you've cooked for me over the past few months."

He smiled. "I like cooking for you."

"Good because I'm obsessed with every dish."

He chuckled.

We didn't talk much over dinner. Despite my elation to be out in public with Shadow, I didn't have much to say. I was content staring at him, admiring his irises' unique glow in the candlelight.

I noticed Shadow did seem a little down, though. A frown intermittently tugged at his lips without cause. Between bites, he poked around his food. There were even a few moments where his eyes would lose focus and I could see he was consumed by his thoughts. Before I could ask what was wrong, he'd blink back into reality. His eyes would find me, and a warm smile would bloom across face.

I always returned the smile, glad that I could ease whatever worries he was facing.

Just before dessert, Shadow excused himself to go to the bathroom.

I waited patiently for him, taking the free time to check my phone.

"Hey, Sonic," a familiar voice broke my social media scrolling.

I looked up and nearly froze in my seat.

My rival teammate and my old fling stood beside my table. Shit.

"Hey, Scourge." I feigned a smile. "Hi, Amy."

The petite beauty offered me a kind smile. "Hi Sonic! How are you?"

"I'm good." I raised an eyebrow. "What…what are the two of you doing here?"

Scourge's arm slithered around Amy's waist. He pulled her close against him. "Having dinner," he responded nonchalantly. "Why else?"

I refrained from rolling my eyes. "I didn't know the two of you were…" I glanced at his firm hand on Amy's hip. "Together."

"Oh, it's our first date," Amy explained. She smiled up at Scourge. "He wanted it to be special."

As if. He just wanted to get in her pants. Honestly, I thought Amy was smarter than this. "That's nice," I lied.

"Where's your girlfriend," Scourge asked. "Or are you here by yourself?"

"She's in the bathroom."

"Really?" He looked down at his date. "Amy, why don't you go get her? I'd love to meet her."

"No!" I exclaimed a bit too quickly. "I…I don't think that'd be a good idea."

Scourge raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

I glanced at Amy – who coincidentally happened to be my ex-girlfriend. Every man in their right mind knew it was a bad idea to let their ex be alone in a room with their current partner. Obviously, Scourge wanted to start trouble, but at least I could silently use that excuse to buy myself some time. "She's taking care of some girl…stuff."

"Uh-huh." Scourge didn't look convinced. "Well, we should get going. See you at practice?"

"Yeah, sure. You guys have a good night."

Amy smiled. "Thanks! You too!"

My feigned smile fell as the two finally left me alone. I glanced around the restaurant, searching for an empty table. Where the fuck did they come from? How long had they been here? Did they see Shadow and I together? My stomach twisted into a tight knot. No, no, they couldn't have. If Scourge had seen us, he would've said something. Unless he wanted to test my answers to see if I'd lie. What if he told the rest of the team? The rumors would spread around the school like wildfire. I couldn't have that. Not when I was finally feeling better about life.

"Are you okay?" Shadow's voice broke my thoughts.

I dug my way out of my mental abyss and met his concerned gaze. "Yeah," I murmured. "I'm fine."

Thankfully, he believed me.

After we peacefully finished our dinner, I drove Shadow back home.

"Do you want to stay over?" Shadow asked as we pulled up to his house "My uncle is in Baltimore visiting my mom."

I glanced over his attire, my eyes lingering on his exposed collar bones. Staying over definitely wasn't a good idea on my end, but I knew Shadow hated being home alone. I promised myself I'd be on my best behavior. "Sure," I finally responded.

I followed him into the dark house and upstairs into his room. The tempting flutters in my stomach shuffled from the sight of his bed. I watched him amble towards his dresser. "How is your mom doing?" I tried to keep conversation alive. Maybe that would help deter the dirty thoughts threatening to spark.

"Good." Shadow rummaged through his drawers, searching for suitable pajamas. "She's been asking about you. She wants to know the next time you'll come down to visit."

I smiled. "Does she like me?"

He scoffed. "That wasn't obvious when you met her?"

I shrugged. "Honestly, I was too nervous to really think about it."

"Yeah, she likes you. She thinks you are a very good influence - and muy guapo." He imitated her voice for the last words.

I chuckled. "And how are your brothers?"

Through the mirror, I could see a frown forming on his lips. "Fine," he said in a small tone.

My brows came together. I rose from my seat on the bed and approached him. Gently, I turned him around to face me. "What's wrong?"

He avoided my gaze, keeping his eyes on the floor. "It's nothing."

I put my hand on his cheeks and lowered my face to meet his gaze. "Talk to me."

"Eli left again," he whispered.

"What? When?"

"A few days ago. That's why my uncle isn't home. He went to help my mom try to track him down." He sighed. "But knowing Eli, he doesn't want to be found."

"I'm sorry. Did he...did he seem okay the last time you spoke to him?"

"I guess. I mean, he was a little quiet, but he told me he was just tired. He'd been working that day, so I just assumed he was telling the truth."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm not surprised," he said with a shrug. "But I am disappointed. He was doing really good in his program this time."

"Well, maybe he's fine. What if he just took a little road trip to visit a friend in New York or something?"

He shook his head. "Nah. Eli would've told me. Even if it was a lie, he'd at least give me some hope he was coming back."

"I'm sorry, Shadow."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," he said. "We had a good night, and I wanna continue to enjoy it. Can we do that?"

"Of course." I pulled him closer. "Is that offer to make out with you as much as I want still open?"

A smirk played on his lips. "Maybe."

"Hm." I closed the space between our lips, placing a soft kiss on his lips. The taste of his Coke soda lingered on his mouth. More gently than I normally do, I sucked off every little drop.

Shadow hummed under my kisses. He eased my suit jacket off of my shoulders. With it gone, his fingers hesitantly slid over the buttons of my shirt.

To encourage him, I unbuttoned the first few buttons on his. I slid my hand onto his soft skin, caressing the top of his chest. Breaking our kiss, I began to peck soft kisses around his jaw, making a trail down his neck. The scent of his cologne bombarded my nose, stimulating the thoughts I was trying so hard to restrain. Fuck it. Shadow would let me know when he wanted to stop.

I broke free of my sensual chains and gave in to my desires. Eagerly, I licked and nipped at his neck, searching for his hot spot.

Shadow couldn't help but to moan when I finally found it. His hands tightened on my arms as I caught his skin between my teeth. "Hmm."

Sucking mercilessly on the spot, I continued undoing the buttons on his shirt. I ran my hands down his abdomen, rubbing my palms against his smooth skin. My arms wrapped around his waist as I pulled away from his neck. I recaptured his lips, immediately asking for access with my tongue.

Shadow opened his mouth without any resistance or hesitance. His tongue leaped into battle with mine, for once trying to compete for dominance.

The new confidence took me by surprise, but I wasn't complaining. I pushed his shirt off his shoulders and trapped him against me. Walking backwards, I led him to the bed. I turned the two of us around and shoved him down onto the mattress.

He grabbed a handful of my shirt and pulled me down on top of him. His hand grasped the back of my neck, inviting me back into a whirlwind of wild kisses.

I settled myself between his legs, pressing my hips against his. A smirk tugged at my lips from the feeling of his bulge against me. Taking advantage of his open mouth, I caught his tongue between my lips. Sighing happily, I twirled my tongue around his and sucked gently.

Another moan escaped my boyfriend's lips. His hands slowly undid the buttons of my own shirt, cautiously pushing it off my shoulders. Timidly, his fingers traced the intricate muscles of my back. A few times, his touch lay idle at my hips, seemingly unsure of his next action.

During one of those moments, I cautiously bucked my hips against his.

He stiffened under me from the movement.

"Did you like that?" I asked against his lips.

"Mhm," he replied, his voice small.

"Do you want me to do it again?"

Silence was my answer.

I broke our kiss and looked down at him. "What's wrong?"

He averted his eyes. "Nothing. It's just…you're really…you're really turning me on…"

"Want me to stop?"

"No," he sighed. "That's the problem."

I tilted my head. "Then what do you want me to do?"

"I…I don't know. You're the experienced one." His eyes shyly met mine. "What…what can you do that won't…you know…break my promise?"

I smirked. "A lot of things." I glided my hand down towards his pants.

He bit his lip when I gently grasped him.

Slowly, I began to pump. "I could do this…or I could use my mouth. You seemed to like what I did with it earlier."

"I…I, um…" He could barely speak under my control.

I returned his neck, licking and nipping at his skin. "Tell me what you want," I whispered.

"I…I guess you…you could…" He was too bashful to finish his sentence.

Luckily for him, I got the hint. I distracted him with kisses as I tugged off his pants. "Are you sure this is what you want?" I asked.

"I…I think so…"

"Just tell me if you want me to stop."

He nodded. "Sure…okay."

"Relax," I said softly. I started my trail of kisses down his body. "I just want to make you feel good."

And that's exactly what I did.

Honestly, I was expecting him to push me away after the first few minutes. He seemed nervous when I began, shaking subtly and flinching at every little touch. But he loosened up after a few minutes. Moans left his mouth more frequently. His hand gained the confidence to guide me. Even his hips grew a mind of their own. I couldn't be prouder – especially when my name left his lips.

He didn't hold back when he finally let loose. His moan echoed through the house, and his grip was so tight that it hurt a little. I didn't mind, though. Truthfully, I was ecstatic to get such a rise out of him. I hadn't been expecting for him to let me work him like that – especially not to the point of pure bliss. But it was nice – sharing this part of me with him. While it was an element I'd shared with other guys, this time felt different.

Usually the emptiness followed the sensations of euphoria. I'd lay beside my fling and feel absolutely nothing. I'd just want to go home – or go another round depending on the mood I was in.

But with Shadow, there was a fire crackling in my stomach long after I'd satisfied him. I lay awake for a while after he went to sleep, watching him breathe against my chest. My fingers played in his short curls and my arm held him captive against my body. I didn't want to let him go. I wanted him to stay here, intertwined with me, forever.

Forever? That's such a long time.

When we first started this relationship, I hadn't thought about how long I wanted to maintain it. Admittedly, I didn't think much about it at all. But now…

My stomach rolled from the thoughts bursting through my head. What did I want from Shadow? From this relationship? From life?

I looked down at his peaceful, sleeping face for an answer. Love? That stupid fucking emotion again.

What did I know about love? The last time I think I felt it was when I was fourteen. Even then, the emotion was too complex to fit into my vocabulary. I'd never said it. Hell, I didn't even know if that's truly what I was feeling. But am I feeling it now? That was the question.

Staring at Shadow, the answer was clear. I loved him. I was in love with him. And I had been for a while. From the moment the sunlight hit his eyes in the library.

Quietly, I sighed. What the hell was I supposed to do with that information? I couldn't tell him. Not yet, anyway. With my luck, I'd fuck around and tell him – only to be hit with the response that he didn't feel the same way. No, I'd wait. If I tell him I love him, then he has to say it first. That's the best way to do this, right? No, because then I'd be stuck anxiously waiting. It'd be best to just rip off the band-aid.

But not anytime soon. When I told him, I wanted to make it count. It had mean something, be special. We had time for that. Right now, I was content holding him and silently loving every inch of his being.

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