"It's a featherless biped," said the Doctor as she stared at her Ergon. "It just looks like an idiot in a costume. Maybe someone somewhere thought it was scary, once."
"I love it", she said, flatly.
"It's you," said Yaz.
"I know," said the Doctor. "That's why I didn't sound convinced."
She was looking at the Ergon oddly, staring into it like a mirror.
"I'm pathetic," she said.
"You're not pathetic," said Yaz. "You're brilliant. And you said I was the best human ever, remember? So I'd definitely know what I'm talking about."
"I've let you down, though," said the Doctor. "I… I've kept things from you. What I was inside, what I knew. What I really am."
Yaz looked over to the Ergon, standing there like a corpse that couldn't die.
"Do you want me to hug it?" she said, hoping the answer was no.
"I don't know what I want any more," said the Doctor.
"I knew about the virus," she added. "I've always known."
Yaz laughed.
"Yeah, well," she said. "I'd figured that might be the case. We all sort of did."
The Doctor's eyes widened.
"Come on," said Yaz, smiling. "We're not daft, Doctor. What's the first thing you'd wonder when you stepped into a time machine? Especially with everything that's been going on. What happens next; do we survive? It should've tipped you off that we never asked. We were afraid to. 'Cause we saw you never said."
The Doctor laughed softly.
"I didn't want you to break," she said. "You were all so pure, and kind. I always thought I needed to be strong. For all of you. Especially now."
Yaz gulped.
"But this is the strongest I've ever seen you," she said. "You're not holding back. Being you."
"Me?!" laughed the Doctor, pointing to the Ergon. "That's me! Right there!"
"Yeah?" said Yaz. "Well, we still love you anyway. You big, daft… thing. I've seen a lot of sides of you while we've been here. I'm still here, aren't I? 'Cause I care about you. It's what friends do."
The Doctor didn't respond for a while.
"Thank you," she said, eventually.
"Here," said Yaz, shuffling in her pockets. "There's something I want to give you. It'll be in the uniform, I'm sure of it. Always have it with me when I'm on duty."
She fished something out of her breast pocket and pushed it into the Doctor's palm.
"I used to be where you are now," Yaz said. "Trying to be strong. Pretending on the outside that everything was okay, though anyone could see it wasn't really. But strength… you repay it, right? None of us can be strong all the time. But that's okay, 'cause we get to be strong for each other. So someone'll be there for you, when you need it. And when the time's right, you get to pass it on."
The Doctor looked down at her palm and the fifty-pence piece held inside.
"Pay it forward," said Yaz, smiling. "Well, I know you will. With interest. But not right now, yeah? Right now you let it be yours."
The Doctor was totally silent once again.
"Yaz," she said after some time. "What I said up there. About you not being my family."
"You don't have to apologise," said Yaz.
"No," said the Doctor. "That's not it. Families can hurt you. Betray you. They can… keep secrets, without you even knowing. So you're not my family. It's true."
"You're my friend," she said.
And then she'd run into Yaz's arms and was hugging her far too tightly, so tight Yaz felt like her lungs had gone wrong. And then the Doctor was crying, sobbing louder than you'd think a person could, and it was like something that had been struggling for a long, long time had finally been allowed to let go.
Yaz hugged her back, knowing not to speak.
From behind her friend's shoulders, she noticed the Ergon had gone.