Chapter Twenty-Four: If I Were Good Enough
Wow, things have been getting weird. I'm really wanting to write more frequently once school starts next week. I've found it's easier when I'm used to spending so much time on the computer anyway.
My kitty had her teeth cleaned and two extracted, and she's doing really well! I got Zane (my car) back, and he's running great.
CaptainSteve1:Thank you so much! That means a lot to me :)
Blazze Phoenix: Thank you! And no worries at all. Thanks for continuing to read!
I want to respond to more reviews because I love and miss you all but I'm in a hurry! I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)
Lloyd looked up from his game of paper football as Kai entered the room, staring at his phone with a massive smile on his lips.
"Hey!" Cole snapped as the distracted green ninja flicked the piece of paper right at his face. He followed Lloyd's gaze, the sudden change in the blond's demeanor making sense as he realized who had joined them in the dining room. "Hey, Kai! You seem happy!"
The brunet sat down beside the master of earth, keeping his eyes glued to his phone screen until he had turned it off. He looked up at Cole, the smile never disappearing from his face. "I was just talking with Skylor." He sighed dreamily. "She's the best, Cole."
It took everything Cole had to keep himself from wincing as he imagined what was going through Lloyd's head after hearing the red ninja's words. As expected, the blond sitting across from him bit his lip and looked away—thankfully, Kai didn't notice.
"She's just so pretty," Kai continued, oblivious. "And smart, and funny, and spunky...damn, how'd I get so lucky?"
Lloyd stood up. "That's great, Kai. I'm really happy for you," he muttered coldly. "You deserve the best." He walked away, leaving Cole watching him, concerned.
"Yeah, buddy," Cole said awkwardly. "Seems like you're really happy with her. That's awesome!"
Kai nodded. "I am." He slipped his phone into his pocket and changed the subject. "What about you? How are things with you and Zane?"
Cole smiled, briefly allowing his worry for Lloyd to find a place at the back of his mind. "They're great! Zane's great." He fluttered his eyelashes, drifting off into la-la land at the thought of his boyfriend. "I can't believe he likes me back. I mean, I feel like the luckiest guy in the world!"
Kai elbowed him playfully. "You and me both, bro."
Cole glanced up from his book to see Lloyd sitting on the couch across the room, staring at his phone intently as he swiped repeatedly at the screen.
"You playing a game, Green Machine?" The noirette asked.
Lloyd snapped his gaze from the screen to his teammate, his cheeks flushing ever-so-slightly. "What?" He asked, clearly nervous. "Um, y-yeah, I'm playing a game."
Cole raised an eyebrow, simultaneously surprised and curious about the blond's reaction. "Oh yeah? What game?"
"Oh, um…" The green ninja wracked his brain for an answer. "Uhh...Temple Run."
The master of earth chuckled. "I haven't played that game in forever!"
"Yeah, it's pretty fun," Lloyd replied, distracted.
Without a doubt in his mind that the younger was lying, Cole rolled his eyes and went back to reading. At least Lloyd wasn't bothering him like Jay always did when he was trying to concentrate on something. Every few paragraphs, however, he looked back up at the green ninja before bringing his attention back to the words on the page. Every time he looked, Lloyd was doing the same thing: sitting in an awkward position on the couch, swiping his phone screen, with an intense and somewhat frustrated look on his face.
After a few minutes, Cole realized he didn't have much chance of concentrating on his story as his mind kept wondering what the green bean was up to. He placed his bookmark between the pages and closed the book, then stood up and walked over to Lloyd's couch. To his relief, the other ninja was far too invested in his current endeavor to notice as Cole snuck up behind him.
"First Spinjitzu Master, Lloyd!" Cole exclaimed, causing the blond to jump in surprise and hide his phone. "Are you on Ninder?"
Lloyd glared at him, a look of alarm and indignance spreading across his soft features. "N-No!" He lied through his teeth.
"I saw your phone!" Cole argued, trying to keep his laughter at bay. "You were totally on Ninder!"
"Was not!"
"Was too! I saw you!"
The blond looked away. "Fine. So what if I was? What's it to you?"
Cole blinked at him, brown eyes wide. "During a pandemic?" He laughed. "You're not even allowed off the Bounty, buddy. How the hell do you expect you're gonna meet up with someone from a dating app? And even if you somehow did manage to do so, what on earth makes you think that's even remotely a good idea?"
Lloyd sighed. "I wasn't gonna meet anyone in person," he said defensively.
"Then why are you on the app?"
The green ninja finally looked up at the black, a twinge of sadness in his eyes. "I don't know," he admitted with a shrug. "I guess it's just nice to get messages and likes and stuff. Shows that people think I am dateable after all."
The smug look on Cole's face softened as he took in Lloyd's confession. "What...what do you mean?" He asked, growing concerned. When the other didn't respond, he hoisted himself over the back of the couch and settled next to his friend, who was still sitting in a very strange position. Must be a bisexual thing, he thought to himself. They never sit right in chairs. "Lloyd, what's going on?"
The blond bit his lip nervously. After a moment of debating whether to come clean to his black-clad teammate, he decided it might be nice to talk to someone about his feelings. "I-I don't know," he said timidly. "I guess I just like Kai more than I thought I did, and...I don't know...it hurts to hear him talking about how well things are going with Skylor. I just feel like, if I were good enough for him, maybe he'd be talking about me like that instead."
Cole's mouth fell open as he gaped at Lloyd in surprise. "Lloyd, what are you talking about? I mean, I get that it's hard to hear him talking about Skylor—trust me, I felt exactly the same way when Zane would rave about Pixal. But whoever said you're not 'good enough' for Kai?"
"Well, nobody said that," Lloyd replied. "I just feel like it's true. He's...he's the master of fire! He's known for being hot. And he's so confident and cool without even trying! Plus, he's got such a great heart…. He's out of my league, Cole. And everybody knows it." He shook his head sadly. "I feel like a dumbass for ever thinking a guy like him might have feelings for someone like me."
"Lloyd, that's crazy!" He threw an arm around the younger ninja's shoulders. "You're fucking amazing! Yeah, Kai's great too, but there's no way he's out of your league!" He huffed. "I hate that saying, too. Of course, I used to say it about Zane, but I always knew it was a load of bullshit."
"But he is, Cole!" The green ninja whined. "He's too good for me. Fuck, I don't even know if I want to date him anyway! I'd always feel insecure because I don't deserve him, and he deserves better."
Cole's jaw dropped, and he smacked Lloyd's arm gently. "Lloyd, stop it! Don't you dare talk down to yourself like that. You think Kai deserves the absolute best? Well, guess what? You do, too. You're one of the bravest, kindest, most genuine people I've ever met. You're amazing, Lloyd. You deserve someone who looks at you the way you look at Kai. And don't you ever forget that."
Lloyd looked up at him, blinking his wide green eyes. "You really think so?"
Cole ruffled his hair. "I know so. And I'm gonna keep telling you until you know it, too."
More of me projecting onto Lloyd. What else is new?
Please review! I'm gonna start responding more frequently again because I love communicating with you all that way. You're all amazing and I hope you have a great week! :)