CHAPTER 29
"Here's to the Fearsome Foursome!" said Em, raising her bottle of beer in the air. Kelly lifted his bottle and clinked it against Em's.
"Here! Here!" said Matt, raising his bottle up. I followed suit with my margarita. "It feels good to be out with you guys again," I said, bringing my drink back down to my mouth and taking a sip. "It's been too long." The last time we had all been out together was the night that Jackson Walker made his presence known in the same bar we were at now. It was in the back of my mind, but no one else seemed to care, least of all Matt. He was the happiest and most relaxed I had seen him in the two weeks that we had been back together.
"This calls for another round of drinks. You in, Casey?" said Kelly. Matt tipped his bottle up to his mouth and drained the last of the beer from it. "Hell, yes!" he said as he and Kelly made their way to the bar.
"Are you and Casey okay, Mads?" said Em, unexpectedly turning serious.
"Yeah, we're getting there," I said.
"Have you forgiven him?" she asked.
"I came back home, didn't I?" I said, emptying my glass of its contents.
"That doesn't answer my question," she said.
"I'm working on it, Em. It's gonna take a little time," I said.
"What about Walker?"
"What about him?"
"Have you heard anything from him?"
"No, not since the day he helped me move back home a couple of weeks ago," I said, feeling a few unexpected tears prick at the corner of my eyes. I missed his opposing presence in my life more than I expected I would. I was elated to be back to my life with Matt and Finn, but I still felt like something was missing. I could only hope that in time, this feeling would eventually fade away.
"That's probably for the best," said Em. I kept my eyes fixed on my empty glass and nodded my head slowly.
"Why would you say that?" I asked, suddenly feeling annoyed with her.
"Because I know you, Mads. I know you love the people in your life with your entire heart and soul, because I'm lucky enough to be one of them. With the history between you and Walker, I know you love him, too. If you and Matt are gonna work things out, it's better that he doesn't contact you right now. It'll only complicate things," she said. She slid her hand across the table, grasped my hand and squeezed it tight. She was right, of course, about everything. She did know me well, probably even better than Matt did, at least about certain things. What she didn't know was just how complicated it all had already become.
"We brought round three. I hope that's alright, ladies," said Matt, setting three bottles of beer and a margarita down on the table.
"It's more than alright," I said, picking up my drink and taking a substantial sip of it.
"Are you feeling a buzz yet, baby?" asked Matt.
"I won't until I finish this one. Why are you asking? Are you hoping to get me drunk and have your way with me later?" I said, giving him a wink.
"Well, that's definitely part of it," he replied, giving me a quick wink back.
"So what's the other part of it?" I asked, looking at him suspiciously.
"The other part is that it's open mic night and I told the band you'd be singing something," he said, looking at me cautiously.
"Matt, tell me you're kidding, please," I said, setting my drink back down on the table and narrowing my eyes at him.
"He's not kidding, Mads. I was standing right beside him when he asked," said Kelly.
"Matthew Alan Casey, I could punch you! Just once, I'd like to be asked before you offer to put me up on stage to sing," I said.
"But if I'd asked you, you would have said no," he replied.
"You're damn right!" I exclaimed.
"But the way you sing is amazing, baby. Do it for me..please? Just one song," he said, his blue-green eyes looking deep into mine, almost pleading with me. I cupped his face with my hand and gave him a quick kiss on his mouth.
"You know I can't say no to you when you look at me that way, Captain," I said. "I'll have to go to the ladies room first to make sure I look presentable," I said. I grabbed my purse that was hanging on the back of my chair and started to get up out of my chair.
""You always look beautiful, Maddy," said Matt.
"Don't try to suck up now, Captain. It's too late for that," I said. He got up, grasping my upper arm in his hand.
"I mean it," he said. His face had a dead serious look that stopped my heart. I could tell he was trying to convey a message that only he and I would truly be aware of. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him again.
"Gag," said Em in her childish and inimitable way.
"Shut it, Morrison," said Matt. As I turned to walk towards the ladies room, I saw Em stick her tongue out at Matt. Some things never change. I pushed open the door to the ladies room and was instantly greeted by a crowd of women waiting for a stall. I pushed my way through them and made my way to the sink area. I cursed the dimness of the light above the mirrors as I searched through my bag for a hair brush. As I was pushing things aside, my phone rang. It was Jace.
"Hey, you," I said. A huge smile broke out across my face as I heard his voice for the first time in two weeks.
"Hello, baby. How are you?" his said, in his usual deep rumble.
"I'm better for hearing your voice. How are you?" I said, continuing the pleasantries.
"I'm about as I expected to be," he said. "Missing you like crazy. How's Finn? I miss him, too."
"His birthday is still a couple of weeks away, but he's officially in the terrible twos stage everyone always talks about, so that's been fun. What have you been up to these last couple of weeks?"
"Not a whole lot. I closed on the house today and right now, I'm relaxing at the bar with a Guinness wondering when you're gonna sing," he said.
"You're here...at The Roadhouse?!" I yelled excitedly into the phone, half in shock and half in extreme happiness.
"Yeah, baby. I'm here. I was heading back to the hotel when I saw your car in the parking lot. I had to hear you sing one more time," he said.
"Matt was just up at the bar. Did he see you?" I asked, feeling a knot form in the pit of my stomach. The last thing we all needed tonight was another awkward confrontation between him and Matt.
"No, baby, he didn't see me, so stop worryin'," he said. "But I'm not leaving here without laying my eyes on your crazy, beautiful face," he said.
"Jackson Walker, you will always crack my heart," I said, feeling a couple of tears escape from my eyes.
"And you will always fill mine up, baby," he said.
"I'll be on stage in a few minutes," I said.
"Fuckin' awesome. Sing your heart out, baby," he said.
"I always do," I said.
"I love you, Cookie," he said.
"I love you too, cowboy," I replied. I glanced at myself in the mirror and touched up my face the best I could. I finally located my brush and gave my hair the once over before going back out into the crowd and up near the stage.
"Hey, Les...Matt tells me he's volunteered me to sing tonight," I said to the lead singer who was checking the guitar and microphone connections into the amplifiers.
"He did. You know we love it when you sing with us, Maddy. Besides, I wanted to ask you something anyway. I didn't tell Matt this, but we'd like to have you sing with us permanently," he said. I widened my eyes and stared at him, not fully believing what he had just said.
"Are you asking me to be part of the band?" I asked.
"Yeah, honey. We want to expand our sound and library of songs and we need a female singer for that. You'd be the perfect fit," he said.
"But there must be dozens of professional female singers out there! Why me?"
"Because most professional singers have an ego that's hard to manage. You're as down to earth as they come and we already know you can sing your backside off," he said, smiling at me.
"Wow, I'm incredibly flattered, but…"
"Before you say no, we'd pay you $100 a gig. I know you've got a full time job and a little one at home. We'd be willing to work with all of that," he said.
"It sounds like an amazing opportunity, Les. Let me think about it and talk it over with Matt first," I said.
"OK, honey. We can discuss the details after our first set break. I'm gonna start the show in about five minutes,". What song are you gonna sing?" he said.
I told him the name of the song, then walked back to our table to find Matt, Kelly and Em in a spirited discussion about the Chicago Cubs.
"I see my performance is gonna be just in time to avoid this conversation. Thank you, God, for delivering me from sports talk," I said, before taking a couple of swallows of my drink.
"The Cubs are gonna go all the way this year!" said Kelly.
"Right, which is why they're still at the bottom of their division in August," I said.
"They've got time to get out of the cellar! Mark my words, Madster!"
"Watch me walk away now, not caring about baseball," I said, giving Matt a kiss.
"Go sing your cute little ass off, baby!" he said, giving my behind a slap. I slugged back the rest of my drink, wiped my mouth and sauntered up to the stage, grabbing onto the back of a few chairs as I went.
"Are you ready, Maddy?" asked Les as I stepped onto the stage. I nodded my head and he pointed for me to stand in front of one of the mic's that were at the front. I took my place behind the mic stand, grabbed the microphone and waited for his cue. The lights above the stage were bright and I shaded my eyes, looking out into the crowd trying to get a glimpse of Jace. Knowing he was out there made me feel confident and secure. My eyes scanned the bar area, but it was too dark and too far away to see any faces of the people that were seated around it.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to The Roadhouse's Friday night open mic night. I'm Les Mulroney and the band playing with me tonight are the Rough Riders. How many of you out there know Maddy Casey?" The audience clapped and I could hear a few hoots and hollers coming from my personal cheering section. "She has graced this stage many times and tonight, we're gonna kick things off with her honeyed voice. We hope y'all like it," he said. "We're gonna play the intro bars. You need a count, honey?" he asked, covering his microphone. I nodded that I did. I had sung the song many times on my way to work, but never live. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath in and blew it out slowly. I heard the first few bars of the song begin to play, then began to sing.
It's supposed to hurt, it's a broken heart
But to movin' on is the hardest part
It comes in waves, the letting go
But the memory fades, everybody know
Everybody knows
What if I'm tryin', but then I close my eyes
And then I'm right back, lost in that last goodbye?
And what if time doesn't do what it's supposed to do?
What if I never get over you?
Maybe months go by, maybe years from now
And I meet someone and it's workin' out
Every now and then, he can see right through
'Cause when I look at him
"Yeah, all I see is you
What if I'm tryin', but then I close my eyes
And then I'm right back, lost in that last goodbye?
And what if time doesn't do what it's supposed to do?
What if I never get over you?
Ooh yeah
What if I never get over?
What if I never get closure?
What if I never get back all the wasted words I told ya?
What if it never gets better?
What if this lasts forever and ever and ever?
I'm tryin', but then I close my eyes
And then I'm right back, lost in that last goodbye
And what if time doesn't do what it's supposed to do?
What if I never get over you?
What if I gave you everything I got?
What if your love was my one and only shot?
What if I end up with nothing to compare it to?
What if I never get over? Oh, if I never get over
What if I never get over you?
What if I never get over you?
What if I never get over?
Over you
"Thank you," I said into the microphone, over the noise of the audience. I took a little bow and stepped down from the stage and walked back to my table. Matt met me with his arms wide open. He closed them around me and lifted me up in the air.
"That was incredible, baby!" he yelled over the sound of the crowd, before putting me back down on the floor. Em came running up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck.
"Oh my God, Mads! You are something!" she squealed.
"You killed it, Mads!" said Kelly, who was standing behind Em waiting to hug me.
"Wow, guys! Thanks for all the love!" I said, sitting back down at the table. Matt ordered another round of drinks for everyone when I heard my phone ringing. I grabbed my bag and searched through it until I found it. I could see by the caller ID that it was Jace.
"I have to take this. It's work," I said, keeping the phone enclosed in my hand.
"But it's Friday, baby!" said Matt.
"I know, but I'm the department head. Needs must," I said, walking away.
"Let me know if you need me to do anything," said Em. I nodded to her as I put the phone up to my ear.
"Christ Almighty, Cookie...you just blew me away with that performance! I'm in awe of you right now...not that that's anything new," he said.
"Thank you, cowboy. I think I did pretty well. After all, I just got offered a permanent spot with the band," I said, smiling from ear to ear.
"Holy fuck, baby! That's fantastic! I wanna hear all about that!"
"I'm heading towards the bar right now. I told the rest of them that this phone call was work related. It gave me an excuse to talk to you," I said. As I rounded the far side of the bar, Jace suddenly appeared in front of me. He was dressed in a muscle t-shirt and Carhartt pants. His hair was pulled up at the back of his head and was covered with a Harley Davidson baseball cap
"Come with me," he said, grabbing my hand and leading me out the front door. He practically sprinted across the parking lot with me running behind him to where his Hummer was parked. As we stopped at the side of his vehicle, he turned around and looked down on me, taking both of my hands in his.
"So, your singing is finally getting the recognition it deserves! I knew all along that you'd be famous," he said.
"Well, I wouldn't exactly call Nashville yet or alert Carrie Underwood that she's got competition. It's just a local band, but I'm still flattered they asked me," I said.
"You should be, baby. So are you gonna do it?"
"I don't know. I'd like to, but I haven't even told Matt yet. I'm not sure how he'll react to the news," I said.
"If he's smart, he'll realize just how fucking special his wife is and be all for it. It's what I would do," he said.
"Well… you and Matt are totally different people, cowboy. We'll see how things go," I said.
"I'll be heading back home tomorrow. I'm happy that I got to see you alone one more time before I left," he said.
"I feel like I'm losing a big part of myself," I said.
"I'll always be with you, Cook...right in here," he said, laying his hand on my heart. "Thank you for giving me a little family for a while. I'll never forget how it made me feel. I'm gonna keep you and everything we shared inside me forever," he said, putting his other hand on his chest.
"I don't ever want to lose you from my life again. Once was enough," I said.
"You won't, Cook...I promise," he said.
"Good, because you're not getting rid of me that easily either," I said.
"That's the last thing I want to do, baby. Your husband is gonna have to get used to the idea that I'm not ever gonna go away completely," he said.
"He knows that already. I made that very clear to him," I said.
"That's my feisty little filly," he said. "I gotta get going, Cook. You'd better get back in there before they send a search party out after you," he said, climbing into the driver's seat of the Hummer. I stepped up onto the running board and held onto the door through the open window.
"So long, cowboy," I said.
"See you soon, baby," he said. I stepped down from the side of the vehicle and watched him as he put it in reverse and backed out of the parking space.
"Love you," he mouthed over the roar of the Hummer's engine.
"Love you," I mouthed back.
As I watched him pull out of the parking lot, I knew in my heart that I would see him again someday. I would hang onto that thought for as long as I needed.