Chapter Thirty-Five: Not So First Contact

Doran Routhe was a man of vision.

As he sat within the ship, watching the starry expanse. Doran wondered what enemies were beyond human vision. He turned his gaze down to Earth, tortured, overpopulated Earth.

The UFN had shattered, Britannia had been swept away. The UPL and the Asian Prosperity Sphere had risen to take their place. A lot of money that had been wasted on endless wars was now being spent on medical technology and the space race. Bits of green were beginning to return to certain elements of the world that had been ripped apart.

Yet it was not enough.

"Captain Routhe," said Lieutenant Alas Dugalle, turning in the buck.

Routhe looked up to an ensign. "Yes, what is it?"

"The object is nearing us. It's on a collision course with Earth," said Dugalle.

"How large?" asked Doran, who had read the reports but wanted to be sure.

"Not large," said Dugalle. "It isn't going to end all life if it crashes, but look at these statistics."

Information and a 3D model of the vessel appeared before them. It was a ship, or so Doran assumed and was forged of dark crystal. There was a huge red gem on top of it, and it was moving at an immense rate. Doran read the energy readings and then noticed the vessel coming in beyond it.

"This is..." Doran raised a hand. "Plot a course to intercept, but keep your distance. Don't send any messages without my word."

"Are you certain?" asked the man. "This ship has no resemblance to the Juraian vessels we observed?"

"What is our standard policy toward Juraians, Dugalle?" asked Doran flatly.

Dugalle snapped to attention. "They must never know we know of them."

"Precisely," said Doran. "That was laid out by the high command years ago when we first became aware of them among us. Because of that, the precedent is clear. Aliens are to think us blissfully unaware of them.

"Take us along these coordinates. It should give us the chance to spot them from afar, but we'll have deniability."

And so they waited. The vessel, a top of the line shuttle called the Demonic Visionary, moved swiftly. The advances in military tech were now focused on space. If those Japanese animals had had their way, the Damocles would have been destroyed. Fortunately, some of the French had been sensible enough to take schematics. They'd been instrumental in building the UPL space program.

"We're in position," said Dugalle, looking up.

"Good," said Doran. "Power down our non-essential equipment to minimum levels. If they detect us, depending on their attitude, they may blow us out of the sky."

The waiting began anew. Their sensors soon picked up the coming energy as their cameras trailed. Then they saw the objects, like two angels falling from heaven like lightning. One was a blur of red, the other a blue of black.

"Dugalle, report," said Doran.

"There appear to be two ships. Heat signatures are being traded between them," said Dugalle. "Captain Routhe, nothing like this has ever happened before. We're actually looking at a battle between starships!"

"Yes," said Doran, clasping his hands together. "And these are certainly not like those that came before." He remembered the research, the finding of the first ship within the lake, and the gateway to the Thought Elevator. And e smiled. "...The Lady in the Lake gave King Arthur the Sword Excalibur in the Dark Ages. What new sword may mankind draw forth by their own hand from the oceans of stars."

The ships dodged and weaved. Then one hit the other and was hit in turn. Together, they fell from heaven like lightning.

"What's their trajectory?" asked Doran.

Dugalle flinched.

"What is it?" asked Doran.

"The ship isn't in UPL territory, sir," said Duran. "It's heading toward the mountains in Japan, near Okayama and the Masaki Household. It's out of our jurisdiction."

What luck.

It just had to land in the west they wouldn't have had a problem. But now it was in the jurisdiction of those idiots in the Japanese government. "One more Princess Kaguya, then.

"No matter. Those savages will not waste the elixir of life a second time. Contact our Tactical Empath in the region. Tell him to investigate at once.

"Who is it, again?"

Dugalle checked it. "It's Mark, sir.

"Willliam Mark."

Ah, yes, the greatest the program had ever produced. Doran smiled. "Perfect."

The bus stop near the Masaki Shrine led directly to a huge staircase. It was one that was difficult to climb, even for Mark. Fortunately, the collision had not yet happened, which meant that he had time yet.

Donning his glasses, Mark remembered his persona as Tenchi Masaki's highschool compatriot. Raising his bag, he wished he had been able to bring a gun. But he hadn't been allowed to keep them with the laws in Japan.

The newly established government was obsessively pacifist.

Mark found the policy ironic, but then they had tried to sell out the entire world to ensure their own freedom. So perhaps cowardice was a natural part of their race. Yet that was not part of his persona.

And so he began to scale the ground next to the path. As he did, he mentally remembered his goal. "It should be landing here in a few minutes. Barring any unforeseen events, it'll come down, higher up the mountain.

"Best not to take the path. Tenchi Masaki will be coming down that way in a few minutes. He is nothing if not punctual for school. There are two possible reactions he will have if he lands. Either he will investigate, or he will remain passive.

"In either event, I must be the first to survey the crash site. And I must due so without being seen."

Sure enough, down came the meteors. It crashed, and the earth shook, and Mark had to adjust his posture to keep his pose. Moving toward it as quickly as he could, he kept his mind attuned to his surroundings. He could sense Masaki coming through the trees; he'd become attuned to his presence.

Moving up, he found a river. Something had crashed there, shattered crystals of huge size lying about. In the midst of it lay a woman. She might have been considered beautiful, but her ears were pointed and inhuman. She was also wholly unharmed despite the speed of the crash. That meant that she had notable durability. Her hair was cyan, and she was lying in the shallows of a river.

Her breath stunk of alcohol.

Apparently, alcohol had been invented beyond Earth. Or, perhaps, stolen from Earth. It was not impossible that the Juraians had stolen it, though this woman wasn't a Juraian. Mark made a mental note that she was physically very attractive. His persona would likely be sexually attracted to her. And he was hallowed enough to ignore her heritage, given her low-cut white skirt with orange sleeves.

Mark considered his options as he chipped off a piece of the crystal and slipped it into a plastic bag. Then he looked to the woman. "I could take her into custody. However, we may not possess sufficient technology to control her. There are too many unknown elements.

"...Perhaps I should play the role of good samaritan."

Tenchi was nearing now. Assuming his persona, Mark adjusted his posture to be less confident. He kneeled down by the woman in obvious insecurity. "Mark, Mark, is that you?" asked a voice. "What are you doing here?"

Mark glanced up to see Tenchi Masaki. A complete void of characterization is what Mark would have called him were he fictional. In practice, Tenchi was attractive, in a very ordinary way, humble, kind-hearted, etc, etc.

Easily manipulated and the antithesis of what mankind ought to be. "Oh, Tenchi," said Mark, voice adopting a nasal tone that some would call nerdy. "Sorry about coming up here, I just... well, remember how you misplaced one of your books a while back? It must have gotten mixed up with mine, so I came to return it.

"Then I saw this meteorite and came to investigate." He drew out the book that was his alibi. He'd stolen it months ago.

"Oh, well, thanks, I guess," said Tenchi, moving toward the girl and turning his attention from Mark. "This girl, who is she?"

"I don't know," said Mark, trying to read him. "I just um... found her here.

"She's uh... really pretty, isn't she?" He felt ill saying as much, of course, the idea of sleeping with an alien...

He wanted to throw up at the prospect.

"I guess," said Tenchi, kneeling by her. "There's a lot of alcohol in her breath. I think she needs water." Cupping water from the river, he poured it into her mouth. Her eyes opened, and she gazed on Tenchi as Mark distanced himself, putting on obvious fear.

"Oh, you're awake," said Tenchi. "Do you think you're hurt at all."

Instantly, with speed far faster than Mark could follow. She grabbed Tenchi by the shoulders and adopted a false persona of her own. "Ah, I'm so scared!"

"What?" said Tenchi.

"I am Ryoko, and I'm being chased by a Space Pirate," said the woman.

"Space Pirate, what are you talking about?" asked Tenchi.

Mark had the feeling he was being forgotten. Good. Glancing, he saw something descending. It was a suit of heavy, blue armor that landed on the shore. It had a very large weapon. Mark at once wondered if there was some way he could get ahold on that technology, it could be valuable to the UPL.

"There he is!" said Ryoko. "That's the Space Pirate!"

Did Masaki actually believe this absurd concept? If the women was able to survive a crash like that, she could fend for herself. Then again, he lacked context.

"Hang on, what are you talking about?" asked Tenchi.

The machines cannon began to glow blue.

"Oh no," said Ryoko.

"I think I'm starting to get it," said Tenchi.

Then they exited, pursued by a giant mecha which fired energy blasts at them. Mark was only too pleased with this. In a best-case scenario, the wretched xenos would all kill eachother. At the very least, he could examine the ships and take samples.

Opening his bag, he took several more pictures of the crash light site. When he was finished, he put the camera away and decided to head after the next meteorite. Closing his eyes, he sent out his consciousness to sense for energy.

He found one.

Following it, he soon came to a large lake. At the center of that lake was an island with a tree growing out of it. Beyond the lake, he saw the crushed wreckage of the ship. Yet somehow, it didn't seem to have caused much devastation. Perhaps some advanced form of shock absorbers?

If a human ship crashlanded in this area, it would be totaled, and the trees would be devastated. Yet he vessel was half-submerged in the water and looked to be falling to pieces. Moving forward, Mark approached the broken wreck and noticed an area where it had broken open. Stepping in, he found it was far larger on the inside.

As he stepped into it, he found that he could walk on the angled ship like a normal hall. It was artificial gravity of some kind. He could see water leaking in through the far part of the ship, but instead of filling up the bottom, it fell onto the flow. Thus there was a flow of water filling up the inside of the vessel.

Moving throughout the ship, he took multiple pictures of the inside. It struck him that the design of this vessel was very inefficient. There were numerous inefficiencies in the design. Wasted material and overengineered decoration. Was this some sort of Royal transport or military vessel?

Then he noticed the cube as he was examining the bridge.

It was a cube that several agents had observed Juraians using in action. It had been used to achieve several different functions, and it was made from a pink material. The consensus was that it was a kind of storage device.

Reaching out, Mark took the device. Quickly taking it, he suddenly felt a lurch and felt a surge of power. Looking out the cockpit, he saw the ship was falling into the lake. Quickly he ran upward with his finding, sprinting up and making it to the breach. Pulling himself out, he landed just as the entire thing descended into the water.

It was a Juraian tree, and some mischief had been made by it. The race of hedonists had trees that looked after their interests. Mark dearly wished to burn the cursed thing but decided against it. Instead, he took his findings and moved off.

As the day wore on, and Mark reached the bus stop, he sensed that nobody had died.

A pity. Though understandable, given Masaki's training.

It meant Mark was going to have to go up there. Quickly, he stashed his findings beneath a log, and then he moved on up. Climbing up the stairs this time, he eventually came to the Masaki Household. It was a two-story, many roomed house built on a pier next to a much larger lake. This region had a lot of rivers and forests.

Oddly enough, however, Mark also sensed the alien women. Her presence was actually something of a standout. She seemed to radiate much of the life energy that most people had only a very little of. Reaching the door, Mark reluctantly assumed his persona and knocked.

Tenchi's Father, Nobuyuki, the race traitor, opened the door and smiled. "Hmm, oh, hello there, Mark? Is this something about the school paper?"

"No!" said Mark in the usual nasal voice. "I heard explosions and saw Tenchi and that girl we rescued getting chased by some kind of giant robot!"

"Oh right, I remember Tenchi mentioned running into you earlier," said Noboyuki. He was well-documented as not letting remarkable events affect him. "I'm glad to see you're okay.

"You don't have to worry, Ryoko is safe here with us. You can go home if you like."

"I'd rather not!" said Mark, trying to look afraid but trying to look brave. "What happened with the robot?"

"Well, it turns out that she was being chased by a Space Pirate," said Nobuyuki. "But we haven't seen any sign of him yet, so he moved on."

"Hang on, you can't expect me to go home while you guys are fighting some sort of alien!" said Mark, trembling intentionally. "Let me help!"

"Well, as a matter of fact, there is something you could help Tenchi with," mused Nobuyuki.

That was the beginning of a lengthy period of useless preparations.

Nobuyuki used the arrival of an alien as grounds to do renovations. Mostly reinforcing the walls of his house. Mark ended up getting conscripted alongside Tenchi. Nobuyuki was an accomplished architect, so the changes were proper.

Even so, Mark did not enjoy this.

So much of his persona was based around being a feeble nerd beneath notice. As such, he was forced to do his job well enough to not get shooed off, but not well enough to break the masquerade. Fortunately, everyone around him were idiots.

The alien woman was a terrible actor. Several times she seemed to almost forget what she was doing and who was pursuing her. Tenchi didn't buy into it but was far too weak-willed to actually stand for what he was saying.

"These people are idiots," mused Mark.

"This may work against typhoons but not against Space Pirates!" said Tenchi as he finished the last bit of reinforcement. The sun was sinking below the horizon by now.

"Hang on a second, Typhon was powerful. Powerful enough to sent the entire Olypian Pantheon fleeing in terror," said Mark. "Zeus himself only barely scraped out a victory."

"Sounds scary," said the alien women, missing both acting beats and the context.

"Mark, I meant Typhoons, as in the huge storms," said Tenchi.

"Oh, right, I thought you meant mythology," said Mark.

"Geek," muttered Ryoko under her breath.

"So how did you end up sheltering Ryoko anyway?" asked Mark

"She told Dad a sob story about how she's trapped, far from home and being pursued by an evil space pirate," said Tenchi. "Personally, I don't buy into it."

"Both of you quit yapping, remember," said Nobuyuki. "Always put off till tomorrow what you can do today. Wait, that didn't come out right."

"Oh, you're all so very good to treat a stranger with such kindness," said Ryoko. "But I don't want to be any trouble."

"You don't need to worry, young lady. I'll stay up all night to protect you," said Nobuyuki.

Wait a minute; if all these idiots got killed Mark might be next on the hitlist. He wouldn't be able to complete his mission if he died. Best to bring in Yosho, then. But how to do it? "Hang on a second, what makes you think we can take this guy anyway? I mean, I know Tenchi knows martial arts, but I don't, and neither do you."

"Well, wait a minute, why don't we go talk to Grandpa! He's a master at this kind of thing!" said Tenchi.

"Really?" said Ryoko.

"Yes, he's the best swordsman I know," said Tenchi.

"Good idea, Tenchi!" said Mark, standing and deciding he had to do something to look less competent. "Come on, everyone, we need to get to higher ground!" Then he deliberately tripped over his own feet and landed hard. His glasses fell from his head, and he pretended to snatch after them. "Ah! I lost my glasses! Tenchi, Ryoko, do you see them!"

"He's kind of a klutz, isn't he?" asked Ryoko.

"Like you wouldn't believe," said Tenchi.

Mark considered this a success, especially since Nobuyuki decided not to come.

Yosho, or as he went by now, Katsuhito, dwelled in a shrine near the very top of the mountain. He was waiting at the top, practicing with a wooden blade. He looked to them as they came and if he was surprised he didn't show it. "Hmm, quite a crowd you've brought up here today, Tenchi. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Tenchi explained everything as if it had been his idea in the first place. Which he thought it was.

The priest listened. "So, let me see if I understand this? This young lady crashlanded down here from outer space."

"Yes," said Tenchi.

"And now a Space Pirate is pursuing her with plans to kidnap or enslave her?" said Katsuhito.

"Yes," said Tenchi. "That's as far as we've heard it.

"And you want me to defeat said giant robot with nothing more than a bokken," mused Katsuhito.

"Um, well, that about sums it up," mused Tenchi.

Katsuhito sighed. "Oh, very well. I suppose it might make for decent practice."

What was wrong with all these people? How had they not seen the obvious so far? Before Mark could express this in any way, the 'space pirate' came out of nowhere, landing before them.

"Look out! It's the Space Pirate!" cried Ryoko.

Mark quickly took a step to the left as the scattered. Now it was only Katsuhito and the machine, facing one another down. A man with a stick against a futuristic war machine. On first glance, of course, with context, one knew this wasn't nearly so one-sided.

"...What a nuisance," said Katsuhito.

Then he struck.

Mark was hardly able to follow the blow, but he was able to observe the technique in motion. Perhaps that could be useful for his own efforts. The blow struck the machine. Katsuhito passed, the machine fell forward, falling to pieces around them. Smoke rose around them.

"Wow!" said Ryoko in amazement that was not entirely feigned.

Mark took this to mean that Katsuhito's movement was considered impressive. Valuable insight if he learned more. Still, if the ability Katsuhito had used could be duplicated, even in a limited fashion...

It could be valuable.

Still, the pilot was still alive. She rose up from the wreckage and drew a pistol. She looked fully human and wore a blue jumpsuit with a white skirt. Her hair was long and blue, as were her eyes, and she pointed the gun at Ryoko.

"Surrender yourself at once, Space Pirate Ryoko! Do so, and I can promise you a fair trial!" said the woman.

"...Hang on, what?" said Tenchi. "I thought she was the space pirate."

"She is!" said Ryoko, voice more exaggerated. "I'm innocent! How could you suspect me after all we've been through together!"

"No, you aren't," said the woman. "You've been hitting banks and stations across the known universe for as long as you're on record. You're guilty of virtually every non-murder crime we've got a law for!"

"So what, it's my word against yours," said Ryoko, voice changing.

"Wanna bet," said the woman, drawing out a device. It shot out lightrays that formed into what resembled a wanted poster. "See this? I've got a complete wanted poster. Meticulously chronicled, and I've got an ID that proves who I am."

"...We uh, we can't read that," said Mark flatly.

"What?" said the woman.

"We're from Earth," said Mark. "That language isn't one that people on Earth speak. For all we know, you could have photoshopped a picture onto random gibberish." He should know, he was familiar with a great many different languages.

"Um, well..." the woman stopped.

"Also, why do the Galaxy Police have authority on Earth, exactly?" asked Mark, deciding to ask as long as his persona was on this line of thought. "I've never even heard of your organization. Do you have some sort of top-secret authorization from the government? One that lets you arrest people?"

"Well, no, not really," admitted the woman.

"Okay, so why should we believe anything you have to say?" asked Mark, wondering what kind of slipshod police force these people were. "I mean, the first experience we had with you was trying to kill us. Well, them."

"I was firing with stun blasts. Neither of you would have been hurt," said Kiyone. "I would have ordered you to stand down, but my communicator's array got damaged in the crash."

"How do you know they wouldn't have been hurt?" asked Mark. "Isn't it possible that Earthling physiology is very different from your own race? That being the case, what assurances do you have that your weaponry wouldn't kill us?"

"Well, I..." the woman shifted. "Look, I didn't even mean to end up on this planet! I was pursuing her, and she decided to go into the space of an underdeveloped planet. That's grounds for pursuit in the legal code.

"Then she opened fire, and we blasted eachother."

"What legal code?" asked Tenchi.

The woman took out the device and made a few adjustments, and the language changed to Japanese. "The Galaxy Police official charter. I'm Detective First Class Kiyone Makibi. Look, I'm not really allowed to tell anyone here about this, so can you please just step aside so-"

"I've had enough of this! Will both of you stop it with the techno-babble!" snarled Ryoko, blowing her persona for the sake of petty frustration.

"Well, I thought you were acting," said Mark, before realizing he was getting too far. He adjusted his glasses.

Ryoko looked at him in surprise, and Mark switched sides to stand behind Katsuhito, putting on a look of fear. "So, you figured me out," her voice was harsh and rough not, and she was smiling. "Well, too bad.

"I had a hangover when I ran into you. Otherwise, a low-level cop like you never would have shot you down. So, stupid, how do you think I should cook you?"

Oh, she was talking to Kiyone now. This wasn't going to go well, was it. "Now hold on, I don't think there is any need for violence-" began Mark.

Ryoko drew what could only be described as a lightsaber of red flame.

Mark shrugged and stepped out from between them. Best not to start a fight just yet. "Well put, go ahead and kill each other.

Kiyone drew her gun and aimed it downrange. "Stay right where you are, Space Pirate Ryoko. Or I will open fire."

"Go right ahead," said Ryoko.

Kiyone fired, and a bolt of yellow energy shot forward. It hit a shield of red, broke right through it, caught Ryoko in the forehead, and floor her instantly. There was a long silence.

"Are there rules on police brutality where you're from?" asked Tenchi.

"Police what?" asked Kiyone.

And then Ryoko stood up, clutching her forehead. The burn on her forehead was healing, and she was looking furious. "What the hell was that?"

"Oh come on, do you really think we don't have weapons that can pierce your shields, Ryoko?" asked Kiyone. "We have the tech to deal with high-level enemies."

"I hope you enjoyed that hit," said Ryoko. "It's the last one you'll make!"

And then the fight started.

Ryoko literally flew into the air and started hurling bolts of red energy. Kiyone moved and dodged with an agility only a trained gymnast could do. While doing so, she fired at Ryoko, who moved here and there. Still, Ryoko seemed to be enjoying the combat, and Kiyone was soon on the backfoot.

"I'll admit, this is a bit harder than I expected," said Ryoko, drawing her blade. "But I wouldn't have it any other way."

Ryoko surged forward all the faster. But as she swooped in, Kiyone drew out what seemed to be a yoyo. Leaping over Ryoko's charge, she sent it forth, and the string was one of energy. It wrapped around Ryoko, trapping her in place.

"I'm not that easy!" said Kiyone.

"...Some sort of energy rope," mused Mark, beginning to write notes in his document. "Well worth documenting."

"Pretty good," said Ryoko, struggling in place. "But not good enough!" Then she raised a hand, and three gems were on her wrist. One of them flared to life, and the ropes around her were knocked back. Mark felt a flash of power, and Kiyone was thrown back.

Then Ryoko surged forward, blade readied. "This fight is mine!"

And then Tenchi got between them, and Ryoko halted her charge suddenly. Doing so nearly caused her to fall over. "Hey, what's the big idea? I was about to win."

"You were about to kill her," said Tenchi.

"No, I was just teasing a bit," said Ryoko. "I can unsummon these things at will."

"Isn't this fight completely pointless?" asked Tenchi flatly.

"What do you mean?" asked Kiyone, standing up.

"Let's say you beat her?" asked Tenchi. "How are you going to get off-world?"

Dead silence fell. Ryoko shrugged.

"I uh..." Kiyone paused. "Look, I've had a truly wretched career so far. I saw a chance to take down one of the most wanted criminals in the world, and I took it."

"Guess you blew it because I am untouchable as well as beautiful," said Ryoko. And she put her hands behind her head and stuck out her ample chest.

"She shot you in the head," noted Mark, finishing his notes.

"What was that?!" said Ryoko.

Quickly adopting his simpering persona, Mark apologized. "Nothing, nevermind."

Then, for some reason, Ryoko got behind Tenchi, phasing through solid matter to do it. She then wrapped her arms around his neck. "Now, my dear Tenchi, I believe I'll need a space to stay. Won't I?"

Mark finished his notes:

"Wonderful,

"I've entered into the domain of a harem anime. And I play the role of a man whose pathetic nature makes the shallow protagonist look strong by comparison. I've had enough of this.

"I'm going to enjoy killing these people when the revolution comes."

It was something to work for, at least.