A deleted scene of sorts. Before the MF gang pushes her to be her ~worst self~, no-humanity Caroline calls Klaus from her dorm at Whitmore to complain at him. Set mid-season six.

/

"Hello?"

"The mini-fridge you bought me literally just broke."

"Excuse me?"

"Do I have to speak slower? The mini-fridge your bought me literally just broke."

"Who is this?"

"Oh please, like you didn't know the minute I changed my number."

"Caroline?"

"Yes, Caroline."

Klaus pulled the phone away from his ear, to stare blankly at the unsaved number glowing on his screen, almost unable to believe she was calling him.

"Well, Caroline, it's lovely to hear your voice."

"Mmhmm, whatever, Klaus," Caroline said, shortly. "I want to know why you bought me a faulty item."

"I have to say, love, I didn't know it was faulty when I bought it."

"Well, obviously," Caroline said, the roll in her eyes very evident in her voice. "I was more implying that you were cheap. I know old money comes from scummy white men penny-pinching their way through life, but you're literally like a thousand, Klaus, and don't even need money to get through life. Why skimp on a present for me? I'm supposed to be your last love, remember?"

Klaus folded his lips into his mouth, in a valiant attempt to keep from grinning.

"I promise you, love, no expense was spared on your fridge, may I offer a replacement?"

"Hmm, maybe, but that doesn't help me now, does it?" Caroline said passive-aggressively.

"Are you all right, love? You don't sound like your cheery self?"

"I'm fine. Just a bit frustrated! My mini-fridge just broke, and now my B-positive tastes like it's…. O-negative!"

Caroline's voice was dripping with melodrama, and Klaus, once again, could barely contain his grin – she was just a delight.

"Well, I am glad you called me, perhaps I can hunt down the salesperson who sold it to me, and scare him into a refund?"

"Oh, that sounds fun, when?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"I said, when? And where I suppose."

Klaus was taken aback; he hadn't meant it as a suggestion… but if the shoe fit.

"Well, I bought it here of course, in New Orleans, and they had it shipped from their Richmond store."

"Mmmkay, text me the exact store, and I'll meet you there tomorrow at 8am."

Without another word, Caroline hung up, leaving a bemused, but wholly amused Klaus to stare at his phone once again wondering what on earth had just happened.

xxx

When Elena arrived back at her dorm, she wasn't sure if she could handle anymore of no-humanity Caroline. Honestly, it had been days and days of Caroline being snippy and judgemental, with absolutely no regard for Elena's feelings at all.

And the brunette was not enjoying this side of her friend.

But, as she unlocked and pushed open her door, she was pleased to find the room blessedly Caroline free, with only a note to explain her whereabouts.

Gone interstate for a few days.

Oh I also thought up these fun nicknames for you guys years ago:

Exasperating Elena

Bothersome Bonnie

Stuffy Stefan

Dumbass Damon

Love you!

Cool Caroline

xxx

The next morning, Klaus sidled into the store at precisely 8am.

If he was honest, he was very nervous on the drive over. Nervous about her unusual behaviour, nervous of her sudden interest in him, nervous she wouldn't show up… nervous she would.

But then…

"Klaus, hey, Klaus!"

He saw her waving him over the minute he stepped foot through the door.

Of course, Caroline, who was coming from out of state, beat him there.

"Why are you never on time?" she said, exasperated, grabbing his elbow and pulling him further into the store.

"This is your husband, ma'am?" a rather weedy looking sales assistant, whose badge read Jason, said anxiously to Caroline.

"Yes, this is my husband," Caroline said, her voice commanding, giving Klaus a threatening side-ways look, as though daring him to challenge her story. "And he bought a very faulty, very expensive, mini-fridge for me – from here – less than a year ago. So we are here to make up for that, aren't we, sweetie?"

"Yes, we are," Klaus said, entertained, but fully taking the faux-marriage in his stride by snaking his arm around her waist. "I believe it was Edward who sold it to me, is he in, per chance?"

Jason continued to look anxiously between the couple, sensing instinctively that he was in some sort of danger, even if he couldn't pinpoint why.

"Edward isn't on today," he replied. "But I'm… ah… sure I can help you with the refund and replacement process."

"No Edward?" Caroline said, haughtily. "Shame."

With that, Caroline dismissively flounced away to the section of the store that housed the mini-fridges leaving Klaus to throw a glance at Jason.

"We'll be over there if you need anything, mate," Klaus drawled, before following Caroline.

He was quite enjoying her little game, but Klaus knew something was very off about her.

He was sure it would take her longer than a year for her to come around to his charms. He figured it would be after she explored her life with her childhood friends, maybe after her mother died, and she was looking for the meaning in eternity she knew he could help her find.

"So, I'm your husband now, am I?" he asked, jokingly as he joined her.

"Just for today," she shrugged flippantly, as she knelt down to inspect the inside of a particular fridge. "It's practice."

Klaus noted the total lack of empathy in her eyes in that moment, and he had his confirmation.

"You've turned off your humanity," he stated.

"Are you going to give me the spiel about how this isn't who I am, and I should consider the consequences blah-blah-blah, yarda-yarda like Stuffy Stefan? Honestly so boring," she intoned, pulling a tape measure from her bag, and checking the height of the fridge against the purported height.

"Not at all love," he replied. "Just curious."

"Good, because otherwise I would have had to make a scene."

"Oh, Caroline, love, you certainly know how to make a scene, humanity or not," he grinned at her.

"Well, yes, that goes without saying," she remarked.

"How long will you be in town?" Klaus queried.

"Oh, just a couple more hours. A total douchebag from my Intro to Statistics class was blabbing about a poker tournament he is tipped to win in Vegas later today. I intend to beat his sorry ass. Then I have to be back at Whitmore for class tomorrow."

"Why go back to class?" Klaus asked, bemused. "Where's the fun in that?"

"The fun, Klaus, will come after I have finished my degree. Humanity or not, I know what is important."

"Can I come to Vegas with you?"

"If you have to, but you can not interfere in my tournament," Caroline snapped, before standing to attention. "This is the one I want. Better colour, better efficiency, better volume."

Caroline turned her commanding stare back to Jason, and summoned him with a single crook of her finger.

"This is the one," she stated, as Jason nervously sidled up beside them. "My husband here will sort the particulars with you, and this one better not break. Or I'll be back."

As Caroline flounced away, Klaus couldn't help but stare fondly after her.

She really was going to make such a formidable queen one day.