(I haven't updated in a year because I was working on my webcomic. Google search "Magical Girl Mirror-chan". It's on webtoons. Also let me know about any typos.)
All American Swole Businessman was walking down the inner steps of the stadium, thinking about what he was going to eat for lunch, when he happened across Flame Lord Fire Daddy, who was also thinking about what he was going to eat for lunch. Of course the top two heroes of Japan can't walk past each other without saying something, All American thought, so he called out, "Yo! Long time no see! Let's catch up!"
Abusive Flame Father grunted his reply, "Blonde Superman."
"I haven't spoken to you since that press conference ten years ago. It's been a while." As soon as Blonde Superman said that, he remembered why he hadn't spoken to Fire Daddy in 10 years. What had happened was the two of them had saved Anime Tokyo City from a super villain that was threatening to destroy everything, unless the government pay him a gazillion yen. After they beat the shit out of the villain, the media interviewed them on the spot.
"What a brave display of heroics!" cheered the news anchor lady. "How did you both come up with the plan?"
Flame Daddy answered, "It was a matter of focusing our efforts and wisely combining our tactical advantages—"
As he was talking, All American felt the need to pass gas. He thought it'd be the quiet kind, so he slowly let it rip. Unfortunately, it turned out to be an All American Super Fart. BBBBBBBRRRRRRRT~!
Needless to say, it was very loud. It interrupted Flame Daddy in the middle of his sentence. Flame Daddy and the News Anchor Lady both made a disgusted face at All American. And All American laughed. "HAHAHA! I guess you ate too many bean sprouts, huh Abusive Flame Daddy?" He meant it as a joke, because it was obvious that Blonde Superman was the one who farted.
But Flame Daddy did not take kindly to that sort of humor. "Disgusting," grumbled the fire hero. "Don't you blame that on me. You should be ashamed of yourself." And he got super pissed off and left.
And since then, they hadn't talked to each other.
Until now. "I saw you and figured I'd say hi," All American said.
"Did you? Well if that's all you had to say, then we're done," replied Abusive Fire Daddy. He continued to walk down the stairs. "Don't talk to me like we're old friends."
If there's one thing that upsets All American, it's feeling guilty about something. And he suddenly felt guilty about that stupid joke he made ten years ago. So he triple-flipped down the stairs and landed in front of Fire Daddy, "Aw come on, don't give me the cold shoulder. Get it? Cold shoulder? Because your son has ice-powers?"
Abusive Fire Daddy wasn't laughing. Blonde Superman realized that Fire Daddy isn't the kind of guy who likes jokes. So he cleared his throat and continued, "Your son is doing very well out there, even using just half of his powers. You must have taught him well."
"And what the fuck are you implying?" grunted Fire Daddy, who was getting angrier by the second.
"What do you mean? That was a compliment."
"Ah, sarcasm I see. You think that your position as the number one hero gives you the right to taunt me?"
"No. No, I'm being serious. In fact, I'd like to learn from you. Tell me, what is the best way to raise the next generation of heroes?"
"That cocky attitude of yours is exactly why I'm going to defeat you." Flame Daddy bumped his shoulder against All American's shoulders as he continued walking.
"Cocky attitude? Me? What? How am I cocky?"
"Let me assure you one thing, All American. No matter what it takes, that kid of mine will beat you one day. I'll make sure of it. That's the reason why I made him."
"You did what?"
"He's in a rebellious phase right now, but he will knock you off of your high horse one day very soon. So enjoy your glory and gloating while you still can, you pompous piece of shit."
"I wasn't making fun of your child, Flame Daddy," insisted the very confused Blonde Superman as he watched the angry fire father walk away. "What the hell is wrong with that guy?"
…
Meanwhile, the Baku-bros were still eating lunch with Explochan. And the topic of conversation was still on relationships. "Do you guys think Titty-chan would date me if I asked her out?" asked Zap Kid.
"No way," replied Tape Boi. "She's way out of your league."
"What makes you say that?"
"She's the only daughter of the famously wealthy Tits family. She probably has an arranged marriage set up already."
"That doesn't mean she can't have some high school fun."
Red Head agreed. "She seems like a nice girl, so just ask her out man."
"But I can't stand rejection," whined Zap Kid.
A little shit approached them and joined their conversation. "Hey! Guys!"
"What's up Grape Baby?" the bros all replied.
"So I have a wicked plan to play a sexy prank on the girls. Who wants to join me?"
"I'm in!" shouted Zap Kid as he jumped out of his seat. And the two walked away.
Sugar Daddy raised an eyebrow. "Uh, should we go stop them?"
Tape Boi shrugged. "It's probably nothing serious."
…
[Little Grape's Wicked Prank]
Titty Girl and Earphone Jack were sitting at a table, eating lunch together, talking about the sports festival. "It's insane how Green Boi placed first during the Sexy 4K Obstacle Course," said Earphones. "It really shows me that I can't let my guard down around him for even one second." She pouted. "And it sucks that I didn't make it to the next round. But I'm rooting for you, Rich Girl."
"Thank you," replied Rich Tits. "I'm going to represent Class 1-A the best I can."
A little shit and an electric pervert approached them and joined their conversation. "Tits-chan! Earphones-chan!" called out Pikachu-kun.
The two young ladies looked up at them. "Huh? You need something?" Rich Tits replied.
"Uh, not really," Grape Baby said. "We just wanted to make sure you knew, but I'm sure you knew, since you're like, class rep or whatever." He turned around and pointed at a group of blissfully happy, and scantily dressed, American cheerleaders who were romping about in the lunchroom. "But they said all the girls have to wear those uniforms for the big cheer battle this afternoon."
"WHAT?" exclaimed Earphone Girl, who didn't want to wear such a dumb outfit. Rich Tits was confused. "Really? Are you sure? Because this is the first time I'm hearing about it."
"Yeah, this is coming straight from Ninja-sensei." Grape Baby turned around to hide the panic in his lying grape eyes.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I mean, you don't have to believe me. I thought you forgot so I just wanted to remind you."
"Really?" Titty Girl looked at Electric Boi. He was nodding in agreement. She made a confused face. "But I don't remember anyone mentioning outfits. We weren't even given any outfits."
The Grape shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe you were supposed to make them with your quirk?"
"Was I? Really? Oh gosh, now I have to make a bunch of outfits for all the girls. Thanks for telling me Grape Baby."
"No problem!" Grape Shit said as he winked to us in the audience. Then he and Electric Kid walked away. Once they were out of earshot, they burst into laughter. "You think she'll really do it?" asked his partner in crime. Grape Kid shook his head, "No. But wouldn't it be funny if she did?"
Yes, she did. But no, it actually wasn't funny. Because first of all, Titty Girl rushed to eat her lunch. Then she had to find Sparkling Flamboyant Laser Belly so that he could translate for her as she asked the English-speaking American cheerleaders if she could inspect their uniforms. Once she knew what the uniforms were made of and how they looked, she gathered all the other girls of Class 1-A. She then sized all of them with measuring tape and created custom fit uniforms for them.
"Are you ABSOLUTELY SURE we have to wear this?" complained Earphone Chick, who hated every second of wearing the stupid bright orange crop-top-and-short-skirt outfit.
"You were there when Grape-kun and Pikachu-kun told us," Titty Girl assured her as she finished creating Invisible Girl's outfit. "They wouldn't lie to us."
But, alas, Grape and Pikadude did lie, and the girls of Class 1-A were terribly embarrassed when they were the only ones (other than the American cheerleaders) standing on the field, wearing bright orange outfits and holding pom-poms.
Grape Baby and Pikadude struggled to contain their laughter when Rich Tits looked right at them and screamed, "WHAT!? YOU TWO TRICKED US!" Then she groaned and dropped to her knees. "I should have trusted my gut. Why did I fall for their stupid scheme?"
Blushy knelt down to give her a comforting pat on the back. Acid Girl said, "Don't worry, I'll kick their asses."
"And me too!" shouted Earphone Girl as she threw her pom-poms on the ground. "Fuck those two losers! I hate their fucking guts! Grrr!"
But Invisible Girl tried to cheer everyone up. "Well the outfits are kind of flashy so isn't this a good chance to get some screen time? Let's make the best of it and get some hero agencies looking our way!" So she started flailing about madly. "HEY LOOK AT US WE HAVE FLASHY QUIRKS AND WE'RE AWESOME SO HIRE US FOR YOUR AGENCIES AS SUMMER INTERNS!"
Earphone Girl blushed and shouted, "No! I don't want them to see me like this! Stop!"
Froakie teased, "Ironically, you're really good at bringing attention to yourself, aren't you Invisy-chan?"
[Little Grape's Wicked Prank END]