Another heavy one today guys, but a little bit of fluff to try and soften the blow. Notes at the end, like usual.
In the week that Metalicana had been camped out in their spare room/studio, not once had he seen or heard either Gajeel or Levy have the breakdown he knew was coming. It was blatantly obvious to him that they each were stubbornly trying to be strong for the other - his eyes may be old, but they didn't miss the way Levy would wipe her face when Gajeel stepped into a room, or the way his son would step outside whenever his voice started to waver.
Metalicana thought they were both being idiots. The only way he and Emeline ever began to heal and move on was by acknowledging what had happened and allowing themselves to grieve it. Even if that meant hours of wailing, or in his case, punching anything and everything within reach. As he watched them dance around their feelings, yet again, Metalicana growled to himself, and pulled out his phone. Firing off two quick text messages, he smirked, pleased with himself. If they weren't going to get it all out in the open by themselves, he was damn well going to give them the push they so desperately needed.
"Yer gonna be alright by yerself fer a bit, little one?"
"Hmm?" Levy looked up from the book on her lap, happily accepting the steaming mug he was offering her. "I'll be fine, Pops. Honestly, I'd like a few hours where he's not fussing over me every second."
"Thought ya might like some space. He cares 'bout ya, but he's so damn overbearin' even I'm feelin' stifled." He joked, ruffling her hair gently. "Oi! Brat o' mine! Git dressed, we're leavin'."
"Whatcha yellin' 'bout?" Gajeel called, stepping out from the bedroom already clothed.
"Say bye to yer girl, we're goin' out". Metalicana waited for him to kiss Levy sweetly, before slinging an arm around his son's shoulders and guiding him out the front. Lowering his voice, he stage whispered into Gajeel's ear once the door was shut behind them. "Trust me, boy. This house is about ta be descended on by a bunch o' women, an' we really don't wanna be here when tha' happens, ya know?"
Gajeel just gulped, nodding quickly. Suddenly, he wasn't feeling so bad about leaving Levy and, as his father pulled his car away from the curb, he saw Lucy's car round the corner and shuddered at how close he'd been to hell.
"I was gonna be a daddy!" Gajeel sobbed, eyeing his glass suspiciously when he realised it was empty. "Wh-who drank all my fuckin' vodka?"
Metalicana laughed, pouring his son another healthy portion. It was 11am, his kitchen was full of men, and he'd successfully gotten his son plastered. So far, so good - his plan was working.
"Wha? What the fuck are you talking about? What the fucks he talking about Dad?" Natsu was, unfortunately, similarly drunk and completely oblivious.
"How the hell should I know? Gajeel, what are you on about?" Igneel rolled his eyes when he caught his brothers gaze - apparently neither of their offspring could hold their vodka, which was actually kind of the point. Gray seemed to be holding his own though, which impressed him.
"The Shrimp an' me, we was gonna have a baby. I was really fuckin' excited too, don't know why, be a shitty father probably. Don't matter anymore, not gonna be one." Gajeel glared at his glass like it had personally offended him, before draining it in one smooth motion, face screwing up a little at the burning sensation.
"How do you lose a baby before it's even a baby?" Natsu was genuinely confused, babies didn't make much sense to him as it was, even if Gray's son was pretty cute, but also nothing was making sense to him because it was 11am and he was wasted on vodka.
"You're a fucking idiot, Natsu" Gray shook his head, clapping Gajeel on the shoulder. "Sorry man, that's fucking rough. You guys doing okay?" Gray felt bad for the guy, he might be rough around the edges, but he was a good man and a good friend. He had been there for him and Juvia when they'd had a scar during one of their scans, and it sucked to know he was hurting, wasn't going to experience anything he had so clearly started dreaming about.
"Oh. Yeah, that sucks dude" Natsu nodded, his father having just finished a very quick explanation on pregnancy and loss. "Can't you just like, have another one?"
The entire room went deathly silent as Gajeel's tears stopped, his face darkening in fury. When he stood, Natsu had the good sense to make a run for it, stumbling as he skidded down the hallway, Gajeel hot on his heels.
"Jus' don't break the house!" Metalicana called after them, laughing quietly at the idiocy of his nephew and knowing a good fight would do wonders for his son's state of mind.
Lucy had walked in, taken one look at Levy, and immediately called for reinforcements. So, not more than ten minutes after Gajeel and his father had left, Levy found herself surrounded by her friends, including Mira and her sister, Lisanna, as well as Juvia and her son.
Once Levy had explained just why she looked so miserable, and was hiding on her couch in the middle of summer, wearing Gajeel's pyjamas, poor Juvia looked aghast that she had just minutes before been trying to shove her infant into Levy's arms. She had honestly just been trying to cheer her friend up, baby cuddles were a wonderful cure-all in her mind, but now she couldn't believe she had been so insensitive.
"Juvia, it's okay! You couldn't have know. Please stop apologising, I'm not mad!" Levy reassured the fellow bluenette, happily taking baby Silver and cuddling him. It hurt in all kinds of new and terrible ways, holding this chubby little human, but Levy let it wash over her, and then let it go, finding in its place a new sense of calm.
By 11am, just as the boys were trying to kill each other across town, the women were down 4 bottles of wine and sobbing through the ending of The Notebook, because apparently when you were upset the best thing to do was put on a sad movie, drink an inappropriate amount of wine, and cry until your face hurt.
Juvia had left halfway through, taking an increasingly cranky baby home, and had been replaced by Wendy, who had literally attached herself to Levy's side and hadn't let go, having heard the news from a very drunk Gajeel when he called her, slurring his way through a weirdly put together recount of events. Wendy was pretty sure that Levy wouldn't have had surgery and then gone to breakfast with Lucy, but she wasn't going to bother arguing with a drunk Gajeel.
After sobbing her eyes out, Levy finally felt ready to talk.
Gajeel and Natsu lay sprawled out of the tile floor of Metalicana's back porch, sweaty and out of breath. Anger and alcohol had neither of them holding back, and they each bore signs of their fight - bloodied knuckles, a split lip, a graze across a cheek, and countless bruises that were sure to appear over the next few days.
"Sorry, man. That wasn't cool, what I said. Shoulda thought before I opened my mouth."
"Tch, whatever ash breath, ya never do so why start now. I blame my Pops an' yer old man. Them's the ones who schemed this an' brought out the vodka."
"True. But I'm still sorry, Gajeel. It must suck losing someone you never got to meet."
"Yeah, fuckin' hurts man." He drew in a shuddering breath, and when he exhaled, all the hurt and anger came pouring out in gasping sobs. When Natsu reached over and grabbed his hand, Gajeel held on to his cousin like he was drowning, and Natsu was a life raft.
When his cries finally died down, Gajeel shook himself off and stood, pulling his cousin to stand. After a brief embrace, and a look that said "don't tell anyone unless you plan on dying" the duo headed back into the house to see about exacting some revenge on the older generation.
Unfortunately for Metalicana and Igneel, they hadn't had the sense to move from their spot at the kitchen island so they weren't hard to track down.
"Oi, Pops! This yer scheme, yeah?"
"Gajeel, I'm 'fraid I dunno what yer talkin' about" Metalicana held his hands up in pretend innocence, gulping when he saw both his son and his nephew stalking towards him.
"Dad? Why'd you bring the vodka?" Natsu caught on fast to the game.
"Uhhhh, can I plead the fifth?" Igneel stammered, getting up from his seat and backing away slowly.
"No, yer can't. Git 'em!" And with that, the boys pounced, grabbing and dragging their respective father's to toss them rather unceremoniously into the pool, Gray laughing at the scene as he sipped his drink.
"And I know it was just a cluster of cells, not really anything yet, but it just... It hurts you know? And Gajeel..." Levy trailed off into yet another fit of wailing, burying her face in her hands as her friends were cuddled up to her, Mira passing her a tissue as Lisanna patted her knee and Lucy stroked her hair where it lay across her legs.
"But to you, that was your baby." Erza had been a surprise addition to the group, having hesitantly followed Wendy in, having only just arrived in town to visit her partner, who also happened to be Levy's only known family. She smiled reassuringly, her usually stern face softening as she knelt in front of the couch and brushed a tear from Levy's face. "They say women become mother's as soon as they fall pregnant, so no matter how far along you were - zygote, embryo, fetus... You were already a mother, and you always will be. Some of us have angel babies instead, is the only difference".
"Erza" Levy breathed, sitting up and throwing her arms around the older woman. "I never knew."
"It's alright" she stiffly patted Levy's shoulder. Erza wasn't great with the right way to comfort people, even less so when it came to physical contact, but the group around her seemed to pay it no mind, welcoming her as one of their own from the second she arrived. "It happens far more frequently than anyone talks about, which is a shame. Women, and their partners of course, shouldn't have to keep this to themselves. You need help to get through it. But I can see you have lots of support, and I'm here for you, too."
That set the whole room off into a new round of tears, and Mira had the good sense to hide the rest of the wine, bringing out a pitcher of iced tea instead. No one needed the group of emotional women to be plastered as well.
"Hey Pops?"
"What, boy?"
"What'd ya mean the other day when ya was talkin' 'bout Ma?"
It was mid afternoon, and Gajeel was laid on the couch in his dad's lounge, staring at the ceiling fan overhead as it spun lazily, blowing the chilled air around the room in a gentle breeze, Metalicana lazing on the couch opposite, reading. He set down his book and glasses on the table, leaning forward to stare at his son.
"We never did tell ya, but ya weren't our first go at bein' parents."
"Huh?" Gajeel rolled over and sat up, red pupils boring into his father's almost identical eyes.
"Well, 'fore you was born, yer Ma an' me, we went through what you an' Levy are dealin' with. Lots o' times, actually. There werrt a few times we thought we was home free, decorated the room an' everythin'. But then yer Ma, God rest her soul, she had ta go through the whole process o' givin' birth, an' we never even got ta hear a cry." Metalicana sighed, rubbing his hands down his face. It had been a long time since he'd talked about this part of his life, and it hadn't gotten any easier.
"Ya mean, you an' Ma? How..."
"Uhh lemme see, ten miscarriages an' two still births. They called it somethin' different back then though. You were lucky number thirteen, stubborn little shit ya were too."
"I never knew..."
"Yeah, well, it's not exactly what ya tell yer teenage son about when ya tell him ta practice safe sex."
Gajeel snorted, stepping around the coffee table to set next to his father.
"Hey Dad? Thank you." His voice was quiet, but those four words were laden with emotions other than just gratitude, and Metalicana knew his son was thanking him for everything, not just sharing his story. Smiling, he leant his head against Gajeel's and threw an arm around his son's shoulders as the began to shake.
First off, I want to say to Dragonfly2311, DragonflyFriday, and SuperGuest - I'm so sorry you guys had to experience that, and I love you all 3. Also, to Rao thank you for reviewing, your words mean a lot!
Hopefully the little bits of fluff and family/friend bonding make this a little easier to read. Unfortunately it's going to be heavy going for a while, because you don't just cry about it for a week and then move on, and obviously I want to reflect that. But we will get back to the music and the love before too long, I promise.
As always, reviews are deeply appreciated! xxx