Chapter 35: A Conversation
The first Saturday in January fell two days after Leo McGarry's visit to the Lyman household, and Josh and Noah were making use of Josh's Hanukkah present: a day at the indoor facility of Shea stadium. Miriam and Donna had a girls day planned with massages, mani-pedis, and lunch. Josh woke up early, careful not to wake Donna. He made sure her water glass was full and kissed her softly, brushing the hair from her face. She looked peaceful, he thought, as he wrapped the heavy down comforter around her body. A big part of him just wanted to lay in bed with her, and wait for her to wake up so they could quietly make love in his bed or in the shower. Their physical intimacy was incredible and Donna's injuries hadn't caused her any pain. And as much as he was enjoying their time in Westport, he was ready to go home so they could get lost in each other without having to worry about being too loud, or a knock on the door . . . again. Donna had also mentioned a new position that she wanted to try when they got home and Josh couldn't stop thinking about it. He tried to clear the image from his mind, his body already reacting. "Baseball, today is about baseball. Sex later," Josh told himself as he took a few deep breaths and regained his composure. He whispered "I love you" to Donna, grabbed his Mets hat and backpack, and carefully closed the door to his bedroom.
0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o
Donna opened her eyes and was immediately hit with a wave of nausea. The smallest bit of daylight seeping through the thick curtains was enough to make her squeeze her eyes shut and cry out in pain. Even though the sleep hadn't worn off, she knew what she was feeling: a migraine . . . and it was easily one of the most painful ones yet. The throbbing pain in her head had traveled into her face and neck. Her scalp was too tender to touch and all she could do was lay there, begging for the pain to go away. She couldn't find the strength to call out Josh's name, settling instead to flail her arm back to wake him up, but instead her hand met the soft sheets. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Donna remembered that Josh was at Shea Stadium for the day with Noah. She felt the gentle weight of Buster's head laying on her leg and she made every effort to focus on his warmth instead of the pain radiating from her head. So she lay curled up in a ball for a few minutes, before she just couldn't handle the agony that her body was in. Donna gathered her last bit of energy and blindly reached for her nightstand, only to be greeted with the sound of her much needed medication hitting the hardwood floor. She let out a whimper as the tears fell down her cheeks. It was enough to alert Buster who then padded his way out of the bedroom.
Miriam sat in the living room with a mug of English breakfast tea and cinnamon toast. She was just about to flip through the latest edition of Yankee Magazine when she heard Buster's big paws clamoring down the stairs.
"Good morning Buster boy!" Miriam happily patted the spot next to her, inviting Buster onto the couch. Quickly, she noticed that his behavior was off. Instead of joining Miriam on the couch like he normally would, he was bouncing around and putting his paws in her lap.
"What's going on Buster?" Miriam began rubbing his ears as he placed his head in her lap, letting out a whine. A moment later, Buster made his way back over to the stairs and let out a short bark, and Miriam all but flew off the couch. "Oh my God, Donna!" She shouted the words quietly as she ran up the stairs, knowing immediately what Buster was telling her. Miriam remembered the fear in Josh's voice that one Saturday back in October, when he was begging her to tell him how to take the hurt away that Donna was feeling.
"Good boy Buster," Miriam praised as she quietly made her way into Josh's room. Her heart broke for Donna as she lay there curled up in Josh's bed, shaking and crying. It was a sight that she thanked G-d that her son didn't have to see, because she knew for sure that it would break him into a thousand pieces.
"Yeledah, I'm so sorry. You're having a migraine aren't you? Just squeeze my hand 'yes', I'm right here, okay?" Miriam gently rubbed Donna's back with one hand and felt a light squeeze in her other.
"S-suma . . . t-t . . . trip . . . t-t-rip t-t-tan . . ." Donna's words were barely an audible stutter, but Miriam knew she was asking for her pain medication. She felt the pills beneath her toes as she walked around the bed. With the little bit of light from the window, Miriam managed to figure out which pill was the one Donna immediately needed. But as she set everything on the nightstand, Miriam felt Donna's body convulse as she used all of the strength she had left to get her body to the edge of the bed. Luckily, Miriam was one step ahead as she grabbed the trash can and put it right in front of Donna as she began to vomit.
"It's okay. It's okay Donna," Miriam spoke soft, reassuring words as she held Donna's hair and rubbed circles on her back. After a minute, she felt Donna's body go limp, and sensed that she was done. "The toughest part is over Donna, let's get you comfortable and I can give you your Sumatriptan and crackers, then you can go back to sleep." Miriam fluffed the pillows and broke a few crackers for Donna, feeding her small pieces. "Small sips," she encouraged, as Donna washed her pill down with water. Miriam left the room for a moment to quickly assemble Donna's pill kit, and her heart sank when she saw how many medications that Donna was taking on a daily basis. Miriam's concern grew ten times bigger right there in the hallway, but she reminded herself that Donna and Josh would share any information regarding Donna's health when Donna was ready. For now, Miriam knew that the only thing that was important was supporting Donna, even if she and Noah were still in the dark.
As Miriam put the last pill into the container, she recognized that it was Phenergan, and instead kept it out, assuming Donna would want it for her nausea. She returned to Josh's bedroom with a thermometer and a cold wash cloth. Donna's temperature was 102.3 and her eyes were puffy. She had squeezed Miriam's hand in agreement to the Phenegran, and slowly ate another cracker and swallowed the pill with a few sips of water.
"Let's go ahead and change your shirt, that one has a little bit of vomit on it. You'll feel better. And I can put your hair in a loose braid, that way it's out of your way if you feel like you're going to be sick again," Miriam smiled and brushed Donna's hair back. Even though she was in an astonishing amount of pain, Miriam also knew that Donna was beyond embarrassed and she was doing everything to make Donna feel comfortable, without pointing out the embarrassment.
After Miriam had put another one of Josh's shirts on Donna, she carefully braided her hair while Donna's eyes began to flutter. She kept the cold compress against Donna's forehead for a minute before she heard Donna whisper, "Thank you Miriam. Do . . . Do you think you could keep the closet light on? I don't like the dark. I was trapped in a dark car . . ."
"Of course Yeledah. You don't need to explain anything until you are ready. And right now, I just want you to rest. Once your fever breaks we can get you some warm socks and a heating pad, and some tea."
"Thank you Miriam," Donna's voice trailed off as she started to fall asleep. Miriam stayed at her bedside for a while, brushing back Donna's hair and holding the cold compress to her forehead. Eventually, she quietly got up and drew the window shade down a little more to block out the light that was peeking through. "Watch over her Buster," Miriam whispered as she scratched his ears. He was camping out at the foot of the bed, guarding Donna closely.
0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o
Donna awoke to the familiar feeling of grogginess . . . the aftermath of a migraine. She felt the sweat all over her body that accompanied a broken fever. Slowly, she got her bearings as she sat up in bed and turned the small night stand light on. Donna felt her loosely braided hair and noticed she was wearing a different t-shirt, and then the memories clicked. Josh was gone for the day, and Miriam had taken care of her as her migraine raged on this morning. Donna felt the embarrassment wash over her as she remembered crying and throwing up in front of Miriam. Her embarrassment quickly grew to feeling mortified. Donna had ruined their plans for the day and she was sure that Miriam would have liked to have done something other than take care of her son's sick and feeble girlfriend. She felt the tears prickling at the back of her eyes but was comforted by Buster's presence. Noticing that Donna was awake, he made his way over to Josh's spot on the bed and laid his head in her lap.
A few minutes of petting Buster helped Donna feel calm, but the silent tears still fell. The bedroom door opened softly, and Donna saw Miriam smile, "Oh Donna, you look so much better. How are you feeling?"
Donna couldn't even respond to the question, she felt the need to start apologizing profusely, "Oh Miriam, I ruined your whole day, I'm so sorry you got stuck taking care of me. I didn't mean to be a burden, I'm so sorr-" Miriam cut her off as she sat on the bedside placing her hands in Donna's. "Donnatella Moss you do not need to be sorry for being sick and you are NOT a burden. Thank you for letting me take care of you."
"I'm just so embarrassed," Donna looked down at the comforter. She couldn't help the sniffling sound coming from her nose.
"Don't be. We all need a little help from time to time." Miriam spoke softly as she pushed Donna's hair back and felt her forehead. "Your fever's gone and your color is back. Let's get another t-shirt for you and some warm socks, would you like some tea and maybe a heating pad?"
Donna, feeling the embarrassment start to fade, smiled shyly as she squeezed Miriam's hand, "Yes please. And thank you, thank you for taking care of me. I owe you a day at the spa," Donna laughed, just a little.
"You don't owe me anything Donnatella. These are the things we do for the people we love. Now, lay back, and let me take care of you," Miriam smiled as she gave Donna's hand another squeeze before getting up and grabbing another t-shirt from Josh's dresser. Donna smiled, finally allowing herself to no longer feel embarrassed. Instead, she felt nothing but love and gratitude wash over her. This family, this warm, loving family, loved her and accepted her just the way she was.
"Miriam, how do you feel about making two mugs of tea? I was thinking we could talk a little bit more about my migraines . . . and why I get them."
"I would like that very much, Donna."
0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o
And over two large mugs of peppermint tea and toast, Donna recounted the story of her accident. She told Miriam exactly what she told Josh, not leaving out any details: Michael, the car accident, the injuries, the nine day coma, all of it. Miriam listened, giving Donna nothing but her unconditional positive regard as she held her hand. The conversation ended with both women crying as they hugged each other close. Miriam had never imagined that Donna had gone through something this horrible. She praised Donna for her strength and perseverance, and let her know that she and Noah were there for support. It wasn't lost on Miriam that Donna's parents weren't providing her with the kind of support that they should.
As they finished their tea and Donna found herself beginning to drift off, she told Miriam how much she loves Josh . . .and that she and Noah had raised an incredible son . . . and that his love and encouragement has helped her heal. Donna's words moved Miriam, and she felt the tears welling in her eyes, "Joshua loves you so much Donnatella. And the love you two share has affected him in so many wonderful ways. Noah and I feel incredibly lucky that you two found each other."
Donna smiled, her eyes closed, "Bashert."
"Bashert," Miriam's smile matched Donna's as she slowly closed the bedroom door. She made her way downstairs, her mind already thinking about the details of Josh and Donna's future wedding.
0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o
"How was your day, boys?" Miriam asked as her husband and son trudged through the front door, both looking equally disheveled.
"It was great. I hit more curve balls than our Son," Noah gloated.
"Okay for the record, my guy was a better pitcher."
"Your guy was not a better pitcher."
"Umm did you see his curve? Your guy was throwing sliders. We got pizza. Where's Donna?" Josh asked excitedly, he couldn't wait to see her, to tell her about his day and hear about hers.
"Joshua, b'NEE, she's upstairs. She's asleep." Josh knew what his mom was telling him. Donna didn't have a good day.
"How bad, Mom?"
"Pretty bad Joshua. I took good care of her. She's okay, but she's had a very rough day. She's probably going to be out the rest of the night."
Josh walked over to the couch and leaned over to give his mother a kiss, "Thank you for taking such good care of her. I'm sorry I wasn't here."
"There isn't anything we wouldn't do for her Joshua. You're not the only one who loves her you know."
"I know," Josh felt like he was about to come undone. He just wanted to go upstairs and lay down with Donna. He hated that he wasn't there for her today, but was so grateful that his mother was. "It's just that..." he searched for the words to try and explain.
"Joshua, B'nee. I know," Miriam said quietly, and Josh knew what she meant. She knew about Donna's accident.
"I'm gonna . . ." Josh arched his thumb over his shoulder towards the stairs as he began to back pedal towards them.
"Of course Josh."
He took off up the stairs without another word. Miriam looked at Noah as she patted the seat next to her on the couch facing the roaring fire. Donna had told Miriam that she could share her story with Noah, and Miriam didn't want to wait.
"It was a car accident, Noah."
"I figured as much," Noah said as he stared into the flames. His tone of voice reserved only for serious discussions.
"She wasn't driving. Someone else was, and he was intoxicated. She didn't know. It was late at night and she was tired. She blames herself for that."
"I had a feeling someone did this to her. That there was more to it. Who's taking her case?"
"Some small law firm in Wisconsin."
"Not if I have anything to do about it."