A little intense, I know, but we see how the group handles things. I told you she'd make it! She'll be more awake in this one so we'll get her reaction to what has happened. We also get another Renner reference in the last scene, which may be one of my favorite Renner characters and moments. Let me know if you catch it! Thanks, as always for reading, reviewing, and following!
One of the nurses came in to check on her. She reviewed the chart and looked at all the displays. "She's doing remarkably well, Mr. Barton. Director Fury has advised us you'll be here, so I'm having some blankets and pillows brought in for you. She won't feel like eating anything, but I'll be happy to bring you a tray."
"I'm fine. I'll eat when she does." He knew Nat would smack him for saying that, for not taking care of himself, but Nat wasn't there, so she couldn't react to something she didn't know about.
The nurse was making notes in Mikayla's chart. "All right. I'll have them hold the tray in the refrigerator in case you change your mind." The door opened and someone came in carrying the promised linens and pillows. "Just put them on the couch, please." The nurse looked at Clint. "We can have the couch moved closer to the bed, that way you'll still be near."
Clint thought to himself, 'Exactly how much power does Fury have?' "Thanks, I'm fine at the moment."
"Just press the call light if you change your mind," the nurse said as she exited the room.
This routine went on throughout most of the day. Misty texted Clint and let him know she'd stop by that evening. She was stuck at the renovation of an office building in New Jersey and couldn't get away any sooner. After several hours, he looked at the clock and saw it was 4 in the afternoon. At least he thought it was the afternoon. Mikayla had slept most of the day, waking up to cringe in pain, push the button on the pain pump, then would go back to sleep. Clint meant what he said about her being the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. How could she not be? She'd saved him from a life of loneliness. Sure, he had Nat and the rest of the team but didn't have anyone he could truly call his own. She'd saved him from himself. He'd seen and heard the sob stories of other agents who got so wrapped up in the missions, both the success and the failures, that they would go down dark paths of substance abuse and self-harm, or to the extreme, ending their own life, either self-inflicted or death by enemy. He didn't judge those agents. Everyone had their weakness, and now he'd found his, but she was also his strength. She gave him added motivation to complete missions, gave him something to come home to. Sure, he knew his team depended on him and he depended on them, but this was different somehow. It was a different dynamic. These were the last thoughts he had before he drifted off to sleep, still holding her hand in his. He woke up when Natasha and Misty entered the room.
"Hey, sleepyhead," Natasha greeted him. "How's our patient?"
He stood up and stretched out his back and shoulders, then sat back down. "Sleeping. The nurse says she is recovering on schedule. She'll wake up, push the pain med button, then go back to sleep. Hey, Misty."
"Hey, Clint," Mikayla's best friend said, her eyes bloodshot from crying. "They got it all?"
He nodded. "They got it all."
"She worried about that but wouldn't talk about it. She's dealt with it her whole life, wondering if it would develop into cancer. She was persistent about getting checked, probably why they discovered it early." Misty was tucking strands of Mikayla's hair behind her ears. "She looks so pale, but she's so strong."
"Yep," was all Clint could say.
"Barton?" Natasha said. "Let's go get something to eat. You haven't been out of this room all day."
"Not hungry."
"Well, I am and I'm not eating by myself." She leaned down and whispered, "Give them some time together." He nodded. "We'll be back," Natasha told Misty.
"I'll let you know if there are any changes." Clint leaned down and kissed Mikayla, then the two teammates left the room and went to the cafeteria. "Bestie, we almost lost you. Don't do that again. I don't know what I'd do without you. Don't want to have to train someone else."
"Not planning on it, M." Misty looked down and Mikayla had opened her eyes slightly. "Glad they told you." She looked around. "Where?"
"He and Natasha went to the cafeteria."
Mikayla nodded. "He needs to eat. I'd wake up, he'd be here. Hurt me to watch him."
"Yeah, but he's nice eye candy."
"Don't make me laugh, hurts too much." She found the bed controls and sat up a bit. "Back's getting tired. Hate to say it, glad he's gone, need to talk to you." She bit her bottom lip.
The nurse walked in as one of her monitors had come loose. "You're awake. How are you, Miss Fitzgerald?"
"Throat's sore."
"Your voice sounds stronger. Sleeping all day gave it a chance to recover. The throat pain's probably due to the breathing tube you had while in surgery. How's your pain level from the surgery?"
"About a 5."
"Good, we've been decreasing your pain meds through the day, slowly weaning you off the pump. We'll probably get rid of it this evening. Are you hungry?"
"A little."
"Doctor has you on a soft diet, so we'll get you some Jell-O and pudding to start, see how you handle that. Anything else you need?"
"No, thanks."
"Okay, just use the call button if you do." The nurse pulled up Mikayla's gown to look at the incision. "You've had a little bleeding, nothing to be alarmed about. Let me get that changed. Don't worry, you can stay," she said to Misty and smiled. Mikayla winced and inhaled as the nurse removed the old bandage and taped on the new one. "There. We'll check it again later this evening. Remember, call if you need anything."
The friends waited until the nurse left, then Misty said, "What did you want to talk about?"
Mikayla bit her bottom lip again and started tearing up. "You know what this means?" Misty knew what she was going to say so she nodded. "I'm damaged goods. I can't have kids. Why do I have one dream granted but another one taken away? Clint's not going to want me. He deserves someone who can give him kids. He'd make a damn fine dad, and now I've taken that dream away from him, too. Just call me the destroyer of dreams. There's a superhero name for you." Tears were streaming down her pale cheeks.
"Shhh," Misty said softly, "don't think like that. He's not going anywhere, Mikayla. He loves you. I've never seen anyone look at another person the way he looks at you. Women would kill to have that. This is not going to change that."
"You don't know that. Isn't that what's supposed to come after the wedding? You know, love, marriage, then a baby carriage? Well, that sure as hell isn't going to happen now. Misty, I'm scared. What if we can't overcome this? What if it's too much to handle?"
"Mikayla, this is Clint Barton you're talking about. I'm sure he's handled worse stuff than this."
"Not when it comes to me, the dream killer." She buried her head in Misty's shoulder. There was nothing Misty could say, so she let Mikayla cry it out as she smoothed Mikayla's hair.
Clint and Natasha came back from the cafeteria, Clint having insisted they bring their food back up to Mikayla's room so he wouldn't miss anything. As soon as he opened the door and saw Mikayla crying, he dropped his food and ran to her side. "Babe, what's wrong? Are you in pain?"
Misty stepped back from the bed. "No, the nurse was just in here. She's dealing with something else." Clint looked over at Misty. "I'm going to head out. You two need to talk." She leaned down and kissed her best friend on the forehead. "I'll stop by tomorrow." Mikayla nodded and left, Natasha following behind."
"Mikayla?" Clint asked, stroking her face. "Why are you crying? Did the doctor have more news?"
She shook her head. "No, just the nurse. She's getting me some food and changed my bandage. Said I'm doing well."
"What, then?"
She took Clint's hands and tightly held them. "You can break off the engagement, I'll understand."
"Why would I want to do that?"
Mikayla didn't think she could produce any more tears, but she was surprising even herself. Her brown eyes filled up even more. "Clint, you don't want to marry me, to spend the rest of your life with me."
"Again, why, Mikayla?"
"Can't give you kids, cancer took that away from me, from us. I'm damaged. You deserve someone who can give you that."
Clint hung his head, Mikayla still holding his hands. "But it didn't take you from me, and that's what matters to me the most. Mikayla?" He stroked her face. "I love you, and there is nothing, absolutely nothing you can do to change that. We'll get through this, together, I promise. To be honest, I hadn't even started
thinking about kids, always figured I'd be a lousy dad. Didn't have a good example, you know."
Mikayla sniffed. "You'd make a great dad. I've seen the way you are around kids. Your patience would've come in handy."
Clint used his thumb to wipe away her tears. "Thanks. It's something I never allowed myself to think about. Truthfully, I never expected to still be here to even consider getting married, let alone having kids."
"I'm glad you're here. If I have to go through this, I'm glad you're with me."
"That's my Mikayla. We've got this. Oh, and I'm not going anywhere. We are still getting married. We'll deal with the kid issue when it's time. Right now, we need to get you healed and back home."
"If you're sure," Mikayla said softly.
"Scoot," Clint ordered her. She slowly moved over, and he stretched out next to her, holding her hands. He kissed her on her temple. "I'm sure." He laid his head on top of hers. "I'm not going home until you do," he whispered.
"I love you, Clint, and I'm sorry I doubted you."
"Shh, we'll blame it on the medication."
"Good idea." Mikayla sighed, snuggled closer to him, and fell asleep. He made sure she was in a deep sleep before he even started thinking about going to sleep. Once he heard her softly snoring, he knew she felt safe and he could relax, and he drifted off to his usual light sleep, waking up when the nurses would come in and check vitals or administer medicine.