*Btw . . . this chapter's rated M for sexual content 😉

29 | THE BLOOD BOND

Hermione apparated back to Potter Manor immediately, frantically digging through her little purple purse. It had taken her many weeks before she stopped feeling the need to carry it around with her at all times. But now, the small reticule felt like it weighed a ton, despite the charms on it. Her hands shook as she dug through long-buried books for the copy of the one she'd almost burned. Even with her reverence for the written word, there were certain evils not meant to exist in the world.

The heavy, black tome lay in her hands, taunting her with its centuries-old magic and power.

Why in the world were she and Sirius bonded from a ritual in this book? Had someone done it to them- as a punishment? In her haste to rediscover the ritual, she'd completely forgotten to ask Severus how they were bonded, to begin with.

She flipped through the book, her nimble fingers stuttering to a halt as she found it.

The Coniunctus Ritual.

If performed both ways, the Coniunctus Ritual is a sacred magical bond, irrevocably tying the magical cores of two very powerful wizards. Both must survive the test of the bond, for if one is too weak they both shall die. But in success, the pair shall be untouched for neither can die while the other lives.

They become each other's strength, and in tandem can cast magic to surpass even Merlin himself.

Hermione nearly dropped the book.

Neither can die while the other survives? That sounded like a human version of a Horcrux, she realized with bile rising to her throat.

She flipped through the pages rapidly, skimming over the words, each page making her less and less hopeful. The bond allowed the pair the pick up on each other's emotions, allowing them to communicate vaguely without the need for legilimency. That would explain why she could feel Sirius when his emotions were most rampant. Bonded pairs could draw strength from one another's cores in times of injury or strain, to the point where one could pull another back from the brink of death. She paled. So that's why she recovered so quickly from Dolohov's curse. Sirius.

But the hardest hit of all was when she got to the section about how to perform the bonding ritual. She only read two sentences in, realizing it was magic that could only be done by one of the pair.

The realization hit her like a ton of bricks.

Sirius had done this.

He'd bonded them.

With dark magic.

"Hermione!" A concerned voice called for her. "Hermione where are you?"

The voice was a mere buzz in Hermione's ear, and she was barely aware of Lily bursting into her room with James right on her heels.

"Hermione!" Lily exclaimed in relief. "We were so worried, you just disappeared without a trace!"

She looked up at the pair numbly, the book now abandoned on the floor as it slipped through her fingers.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked in concern.

"How could you keep this from me?" Hermione whispered, horrified.

"Keep what from you?" James raised an eyebrow.

Hermione's eyes narrowed in growing anger.

"The bond. Sirius," she bit out.

Both Lily and James stopped breathing, staring at her, the guilt in their eyes clear as day.

"We're sorry," Lily grimaced. "We only just found out after the Dolohov attack. We were waiting to let Sirius tell you himself."

"Waiting? How could you ever let this happen in this first place?" Hermione yelled, the panic inside her growing. The outburst gave the Potters a pause, and they shared a slightly confused glance. "I thought Sirius was better than this! How in the world could he do something like this?"

"Wait, Hermione..." James broke in hesitantly. "I'm not sure if you know what really happened. I understand you're angry you didn't know, but if you just let him explain-"

"EXPLAIN? There is not explaining this! There's never an excuse for dark magic!"

"Hermione," Lily pleaded.

"And to think! I was beginning to trust him again. No one in their RIGHT MIND would-"

"You were dying!" James exclaimed, halting Hermione's tirade in its tracks.

"What?" She asked quietly, her chest heaving from her rant.

"The mission you went on to apprehend Peter," Lily said softly. "Bellatrix hit you with some kind of curse that was draining your magical core. Severus and Sirius... they both knew they couldn't get you back to Dumbledore in time. And even then, they didn't know if there was anything he could do. So yes, Sirius bonded you. To save your life."

Hermione sighed, glancing back down at the book in a moment of contemplation.

"Even still," she whispered. "I would've never chosen this kind of magic. They should've let me die."

"Bite your tongue!" Lily exclaimed.

"Is it so bad to be bonded to Sirius?" James asked in disappointment, already knowing his best mate was half in love with the witch he'd tied his life to.

"It's not Sirius I'm opposed to," Hermione said frustrated. "But this bond- the Coniunctus Ritual- it's dark magic!"

"Technically it's blood magic," James offered sheepishly.

"It's the same thing!" Hermione fumed.

"But it isn't..." Lily said softly. "Magic is powerful, but it's dictated by intention. Dark magic is insidious... it's evil. But blood magic isn't necessarily dark. Sirius intended to protect you with that bond, not trap you."

"Then why is this ritual in the same book as Horcruxes?" Hermione gestured to the fallen tome defeatedly.

Lily picked up the book, flipping through the pages Hermione had left open as James read curiously over her shoulder.

"I don't understand," James shook his head. "Why are you so afraid?"

"Because! This magic cheats death! It's his obsession with immortality that made Voldemort the psychopath he is today!"

"Hermione, this is not the same thing as Horcruxes," Lily told her sternly.

"Isn't it?" Hermione pointed out. "A piece of your soul- your magical core- in another? Neither can die while the other survives?"

James sighed. "People with a soul bond share the same connection, and that's one of the purest forms of magic in existence. The magical mechanics may be a bit different, but ultimately it's the same."

"And the part about immortality?" Hermione pointed out.

"You're not immortal, Hermione," Lily assured her calmly. "Maybe this would protect you against premature deaths- like Dolohov's attack. But once you both age, you will naturally die. Like everyone else."

"I don't understand." Hermione frowned. The bond didn't seem inherently evil. "Why is this in the same book as Horcruxes."

James flipped through the next few pages, grimly stopping on one section. "As Lily said, magic is all about intention. Anything can be corrupted. Even something meant to be a sacred bond."

"What does that mean?" Hermione asked hesitantly.

"The Coniunctus Ritual was banned nearly a century ago for two reasons. One, it's incredibly rare to find a fully bonded pair. Like it says in the book, only an equally matched and substantially powerful pair can survive completing a bond. Most people who tried completing it died," James said grimly.

"And the other?" Hermione gulped.

"Around the turn of the century, the ritual was used for many pureblood marriage ceremonies. It's possible for it to only be performed by one person, but leaving it incomplete creates a power imbalance between the pair."

Hermione stared at James expectantly as he grappled with his next words.

"They were used to bind wives to their husbands in upper-class pureblood circles."

Both Lily and Hermione gasped.

"Bind how?" Lily demanded.

"As in all the benefits of the bond would be one-sided. The husband could detect the wife's emotions to better monitor and manipulate her. If the wizard was ever injured, he would essentially pull from his wife's energy to recover, leaving her to absorb the extent of his injuries. And since it was one-sided, she had no control over the process. If he were injured enough, he could self-heal through her to the point of killing her."

Hermione and Lily stared at James slack-jawed. As muggleborn witches, they'd never been exposed to such magic. It was never a part of the Hogwarts curriculum, and having been outlawed for so long, there was little circulating knowledge about it left.

"So Sirius did what exactly?" Hermione choked out.

"He bound himself to you." James shrugged. "How do you think you recovered so quickly from Dolohov's curse?"

"You mean I gave it to him?" Hermione could hardly breathe. "I made him suffer like that? I didn't even mean to!"

"It's alright," Lily soothed. "It wasn't in your control. It just happened because the bond is incomplete."

"So basically I have all the benefits while Sirius bears all the consequences?" Hermione asked incredulously. "Why would he do that? Did he not know about the spell?"

"He knew," James told her meaningfully. "He did it anyway. He couldn't handle the alternative. You were about to die."

Hermione chewed her lip. This was an awful lot to process.

"So we're bound for life?" She asked quietly.

"Hermione, he really has done a lot to give you your space," Lily winced. "Mostly at my insistence, probably. He's not trying to push this bond on you- it was why he demanded you never know."

"I have a right to know," Hermione argued hotly.

"You do," James agreed. "He just didn't want you to feel obligated to complete the bond.

"I just-" Hermione stepped back blindly, trying to find the door. "I just need a moment."

She was out the door before James and Lily could stop her.

~o~O~o~

Lily found Hermione out by the orchards not twenty minutes later. They wished they could give her more time, but the meeting for the Order would be beginning soon. If they were lucky they might make it for the tail end of dinner.

"Hermione," Lily called out.

"Who else knows?" Hermione asked suddenly.

"Before the Dolohov attack, only Severus," Lily promised.

"Now?"

"Remus, Andromeda, and Mary."

Hermione sighed, looking out at the peaceful night.

"How did you know Lily? That James was the one that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?"

"I'm not sure," Lily smiled nostalgically. "I suppose I realized I could no longer imagine my life without him in it. The very thought was heartbreaking."

"How am I supposed to talk to him about this?" She groaned. "We barely just started exploring whatever this is between us again. Now we have to complete this bond that makes us inseparable?"

"You don't have to seal the bond," Lily pointed out. "You only just found out, you can take some time."

"Of course I have to seal it," Hermione insisted. "I can't leave him to absorb all my injuries. What if I'm about to die again? I won't do that to him."

"He won't have it," Lily told her knowingly.

"It's not his choice."

"Hermione..."

"Like it wasn't my choice?" Hermione pointed out in frustration.

"Sirius refused to tell you about the bond because he didn't want you completing it out of pity or obligation. He'll never allow it. Besides, it could kill you both if you're not able to withstand it."

"Merlin, this is a mess," she sighed, climbing to her feet.

But if there was one thing Hermione hated more than messy situations, it was putting it off until it became an even bigger mess.

~o~O~o~

They returned just in time for the meeting. Remus and Sirius threw James concerned glances to which he shook his head reassuringly. The entire meeting passed by like blur, and Hermione could hardly remember any words of importance. The entire time, her eyes wandered to the wizard who'd thrown her for a loop at every turn.

Sirius seemed honed in on Dumbledore's words, oblivious to her steady gaze.

Tall, dark, and handsome had never really been her type. Ron was the opposite if anything. Yet, she couldn't deny there was something there. The promise of something more. Perhaps the challenge? Very few people pushed back against her. But in the short amount of time she'd been here, the cocky wizard with a flair for dramatics had certainly pawed his way into her heart- there was no denying that.

His eyes flickered to the rest of the room as if detecting the attention on him. He caught her eyes in surprise, quirking an eyebrow questioningly. Her lips tugged into a small smile as she shook her head. His eyes narrowed in doubt before he shot her a goofy wink, pulling an involuntary chuckle from her, which she quickly masked as a cough.

Lily glanced at her confused before her eyes caught Sirius across the room. She rolled her eyes in amusement.

When the meeting finally came to a close, Hermione's legs carried her across the room before she even knew what she was going to say.

"Hi," he smiled down at her serenely, drinking in the sight of her curls and flushed cheeks.

"I haven't seen you in weeks," she finally whispered.

Sirius brushed his hair back, the long locks immediately falling back around his face. "I know, I'm sorry. Unavoidable bit of luck."

Hermione stared at him uncertainly, a slew of thoughts on the tip of her tongue. Her first instinct had been to chew him out for bonding them together for essentially the rest of eternity. But seeing him gaze down at her, the warmth that filled her doused any anger she'd been holding on to.

"You alright, kitten?" He asked her curiously.

Hermione opened her mouth, only to close it again.

"Kneazle got your tongue?" He chuckled, as he teasingly tugged on one of her curls.

"Sirius, what are we?" She blurted out suddenly.

His eyebrows furrowed in surprise. "What do you mean, love?"

"What. Are. We?" Hermione repeated sternly.

Part of her knew she'd have to complete the bond- her conscience wouldn't allow Sirius to go bearing all the risk for saving her life. But standing before him now, she couldn't bear to tie them together for all of eternity only to have him realize she's not enough for a lifetime.

She thought they'd been getting closer. But she'd only been with them for a few months!

"I'd say you're my girlfriend," he smirked. "You know- if the cuddles and long talks didn't give you the hint."

"I'm serious."

"No," he hummed in amusement. "I think that would be me."

"SIRIUS!"

Sirius' lighthearted grin faded as he saw Hermione's escalating panic. She'd seemed off since the beginning of the meeting and her cryptic statements only seemed to lend themselves to whatever was bothering her.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" He asked gently. "You know how much you mean to me, we've talked about this."

Hermione gulped, collecting her tempest of thoughts. How was she supposed to start this conversation? 'Oh I know we're dating and all, so bonding ourselves for the rest of our bloody lives shouldn't be too big of a jump?'

"Hermione..."

"I know you've been recovering from Dolohov's curse these past few weeks." She burst out.

Sirius stilled.

"I've been hit by the curse before, I recognized the potions you were taking while you were healing."

Sirius sighed deeply, glancing around at the milling Order members surrounding them.

"How much do you know?" He asked quietly.

Hermione pursed her lips.

"No, nevermind." He bit out. "Not here."

She felt her heart sink as he dismissed her. Surely he realized they needed to talk about this? Her worries were brought to a halt when he offered her his hand.

"May I take you to my flat?"

Relief flooded her veins as she met his anxious gaze. He was just as nervous as she was. She slipped her hand into his, allowing him to whisk her away.

His flat was modern but woodsy- complete with dark wood floors and leather couches. The place was neater than she would have expected. It was very different from his childhood room back in Grimmauld Place, and there was no sight of any posters or brooms anywhere. She was surprised, even though he'd been telling her for weeks how obstinately rebellious he was as a child and how he'd grown since. His flat was evidence enough.

To her surprise, there was a single bookshelf in the living room with a few spellbooks in it. His kitchen looked well-stocked- as if he actually used it.

He stepped into the kitchen, smoothly pulling out a glass bottle of Firewhiskey.

"Would you like some?" He asked in a detached tone, not meeting her eyes.

"Sure." Her voice was soft- uncertain.

He filled two crystal tumblers with a few inches of the amber liquor before placing them on the grey marble counter between them.

"So you know about Dolohov's curse," Sirius repeated, finally meeting her eyes.

She nodded.

"Do you know why?"

She nodded again.

His eyes darkened before he brought his glass up to his lips, taking a generous sip. Hermione tried to feel for that blanket of emotions she seemed to be able to detect from Sirius. Right now, she couldn't tell how he felt, but he certainly looked displeased.

To her astonishment, she could make out one emotion as bright as day, clear above all the other tumultuous feelings.

Fear.

"Sirius, I know you used the Coniunctus Ritual to save me."

"Shit."

She couldn't help the laugh that escaped her. He seemed so downtrodden.

His eyes flew up to hers. "You're not mad?" He asked incredulously.

"Oh I was," she assured. "I was fuming. I couldn't tell whether I should turn you into a bird and stick you in a room with McGonagall or kill you myself. But..."

"But?" He asked hopefully.

"James and Lily explained. I doubt I'd even be alive if you hadn't done what you did, so I can hardly hate you for it." She admitted quietly.

"Thank Merlin," he exhaled clenching his fingers through his hair.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wouldn't change anything if you knew," he insisted. "It wasn't something I wanted you to worry about."

She walked around the counter, coming to stand directly in front of him until he could look nowhere but at her.

"You almost died because of it."

"I'm fine," he insisted weakly. "Right as rain."

"We have to complete the bond."

"No."

"Sirius-"

"No, Hermione. Absolutely not."

"You don't get to make that decision!" She cried heatedly.

"You could die!" He yelled back in her face. "If we're not a perfect match, you could die," he whispered fearfully.

"And you'd die too," she acknowledged sadly. "But we're at war. If something happens to me and we don't complete the bond, you'll die anyway!"

"I knew what I was doing when I did the spell, Hermione." A hard, stubborn glint entered his eyes.

"You know," she began pensively. "I don't think completing the bond would kill us."

"You can't know that."

"Not for sure, no. But we are well matched. Our magic is well-matched. I've seen you duel, Sirius. Both now and in the future. I don't think completing the bond will risk our lives."

"Even still, I won't have it." He bit out in no uncertain terms.

"Do you not want us bound for life?" She asked shakily. Sirius' gaze swiveled to her in disbelief, but she plowed on. "I know you did it to save my life, but I can't live with the risk that you could die for me. It doesn't have to change anything between us- we can just keep-"

Sirius lowered his head to hers, one of his hands weaving into her hair as he forced her to look up at him. "You're crazy."

She met his eyes uncertainly.

"You think I'm opposed to being bound to you? That's why I don't want to complete it?" He asked fondly.

"It doesn't matter, it shouldn't matt-"

"Hermione, being with you has been the most natural thing I've ever done in my life," he murmured, brushing his forehead against hers affectionately. "And it does matter, because with or without the bond I will be waiting for you for the rest of my existence."

She stared at him dumbfounded.

He wanted her. Truly wanted her. Enough for forever.

She pushed up onto her toes, closing the distance between them. The initial press of her lips surprised Sirius to no ends. Hermione was typically shy when it came to this and rarely made the first move. But her fingers brushed through his hair lovingly as she savored his lips, taking in the solid, steady heat of the wizard before her.

It was when she finally began to pull away that snapped Sirius out of his surprise. His hands curled around the supple curves of her waist, drawing her back against him. She was all softness against the harder, unbending planes of his form.

"Does that mean you feel the same?" His voice was gravelly from the anticipation.

"Are you sure you're not just being chivalrous?" Hermione asked instead.

To her surprise, Sirius' response was a husky chuckle. "Believe me, love, I got into Gryffindor for my bravery and recklessness. I'm too selfish to be chivalrous."

"But you saved me."

"Entirely selfish," he murmured, peppering kisses along her jaw until his lips brushed the shell of her ear. "I couldn't imagine you being gone- it was unfathomable. Saving you was as much for me as it was for you."

He continued his journey along the column of her neck, drawing a breathless gasp from her as he nipped at a particularly sensitive spot right over her pulse.

She believed him. They might've had a rocky start, but he'd proven his intentions at least ten times over. And she believed him.

Slipping her hands into his long, soft locks, she drew his head back where she wanted it. Sirius groaned into her mouth, immediately deepening the kiss as he walked her back against the marble counter. His fingers dug into the satin cloth of her blouse as he swept her shirt up to her waist. The first touch of his heated hands on her bare ribs made her shiver.

Hermione tugged her blouse over her head, relishing in the way looked down at her in glimmering appreciation. She fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. "Too. . . many clothes," she whispered against his mouth.

Sirius heard her huff in frustration before he felt the fabric melting away from his body.

He tore away from her, barking in laughter as he realized she'd simply vanished his shirt. "Impatient witch," he accused with amusement as he hauled her against him, both of them gasping at the sensation.

"Sirius..." Hermione panted against his open lips. "Take me to bed."

His eyes darkened, and he slipped his hands under her thighs before hiking her up so her legs were twined around his waist. "As my witch commands."

Delighted giggles escaped her as his lips nipped and suckled along her neck while he walked them deeper into the flat. Kicking his way into his bedroom, he gently lowered Hermione to the bed, his own body sliding over hers. His lips continued their curious journey down the valley between her breasts. His hands found the zipper at the side of her skirt, the sound of it echoing through the room.

"Have you done this before?" He asked her, looking up at her.

"No," she gulped, completely breathless at the sight of Sirius lounging between her legs, resting his head on her stomach while his fingers absentmindedly played with her partially unzipped skirt.

A small, satisfied grin tugged at his lips, but Hermione found that she couldn't bring herself to care enough to rebuke his smarminess.

He slipped her skirt and underwear off in one smooth tug. Instead of climbing back up her body, he began to resettle between her legs. Hermione felt the heat rising to her cheeks as she saw him staring at her like a meal he was waiting to devour.

"You don't have to do that," she said breathlessly.

"Sweetness, you smell delectable," he brushed his lips against her hip bone. "Please let me taste you. I promise you'll enjoy it."

Hermione bit her lip in anticipation, and that was all the response Sirius needed before his head disappeared between her legs. He worked her up as steadily and relentlessly as he did anything. Her whimpers grew as her hips rose off the bed instinctively, yet he didn't ease until he felt her entire body shiver under him.

Rising to his elbows with a satisfied grin, he laughed when Hermione jerked him to her, immediately seeking out his lips. She felt him position himself, sighing into his mouth as he pushed into her gently. He paused hesitantly before Hermione urged him along.

"I know it'll hurt at first, it's fine. I want this."

Sirius dropped an affectionate peck to the tip of her nose before surging forward in one swift motion. The sensation drew a sharp inhale from her. The sharp sting dissipated quickly enough into a feeling unlike anything she'd experienced. He patiently held still to allow her to adjust, his hand disappearing between their bodies to seek out the small pearl between her legs. All too quickly, she could feel a familiar heat building in her lower belly, she pushed up against him, begging him to move.

Cradling her close, he moved in slow, languid strokes, savoring the pull of her. His eyes never left hers, stormy grey irises burning into her honeyed brown ones.

"I think . . . " Hermione stuttered as surged forward in a particularly deep thrust. "I . . . I think we should complete the bond."

Sirius groaned, his head dropping against her neck as he nipped the juncture of her shoulder punishingly. "Don't try to ask me important things when all my blood is at the wrong head."

Hermione couldn't help the laugh that escaped her.

"Obviously I'm doing something wrong," he snapped his hips against hers, drawing a loud gasp, "If you can still think clearly."

He proceeded to show her exactly how effectively he could distract her until she was a quivering pile of pliant flesh. His intensity thrilled her- she was always thinking to the point where she wondered whether she would ever be able to make her brain stop. But here, with Sirius, she couldn't think past the sensation of him moving against her. They moved together until they were both tensing from the pleasure. For once, her thoughts were blissfully silent.

He held her afterward, summoning his wand to tenderly clean her up.

She watched him as he drew the blanket over her protectively, dropping a soft peck to her lips before stepping out to send James a patronus that Hermione was with him for the day, in case they got worried. He was back before her thoughts had the chance to race ahead of her, collecting her into his embrace with a deep, content sigh.

"I meant it, you know," Hermione whispered, looking up at him. "We should complete the bond."

"No," he said gently but sternly. "I won't risk it."

"But you could die if something happens to me," she pleaded, the fear bleeding into her voice. "Can't you see why I can't live with that?"

"All the more reason to make sure you don't get yourself hurt," he pointed out with a soft smile, dropping a kiss to her forehead.

"Sirius, this isn't a joke. We can't risk anything like that." She pouted in annoyance.

Sirius studied her contemplatively before speaking in a low, sure tone. "If, and that's a big if, we ever decide to complete this bond, it will not be because you're scared I'm going to die. If we do this, it's forever. And I won't have you making that choice just to make sure I don't get hurt."

"But-"

"Shh... Hermione," Sirius pulled her close, tucking her head into his chest. "I promise I'll be fine. I won't get hurt because of you because I intend to make sure you never get hurt to begin with."

Hearing the surety in his words calmed her a bit. She was usually the one fixing and taking care of everything. As her eyes drifted closed, she realized how nice it was to be taken care of for a change.