An enraged screech rang throughout the Gryffindor common room, and James and Sirius shared a look of mutual resignation before bounding down the stairs, bright smiles on their faces.

"Lily, dearest, it's almost midnight!" Sirius exclaimed. "Couldn't you have a shred of decency and not awaken the poor, tired students?"

Lily was fuming and she shot an acidic glare at Sirius. "Would it kill you to go a day without being sarcastic?"

"Probably." Sirius shrugged nonchalantly. "It's in my blood."

"But you have a brain, right?" Lily snapped. "Why on earth would you bring a Niffler and oh, I don't know, set it loose in the common room?"

"Well," James began, exchanging a glance with his boyfriend, "Sirius lost a Galleon under one of the couches, but we couldn't find it. So like a true mate, Hagrid lent us one of his Nifflers. Seemed like a good idea at the time."

Lily had so many questions, she didn't know where to begin, so she settled for a huff. "Just — you couldn't have just levitated the couches? That would've saved you all of this trouble. Look what it did to poor Elena's hair!" She gestured to the third-year Gryffindor, whose golden hair was in tatters. She had tear tracks down her cheeks.

"We're sorry, Elena," Sirius said sincerely.

"Honest," James chimed in, flashing a charming smile at the girl. She managed to smile in return, and her voice wavered as she asked, "Can I just go back to my dormitory now?"

"Of course," Lily said warmly, and Elena scuttled off. When she turned back to the guilty pair, her eyes were aflame.

"Well?"

"'Well' what?"

"Get rid of it!" she said angrily. "And clean up this bloody mess while you're at it! Honestly, why I even bother…" Muttering under her breath, she whirled around and stormed up the stairs.

"Well, I suppose we'd better get to cleaning," James said. "You take care of the Niffler, I'll handle the cleaning."

"Why do I get to handle the Niffler?"

"Because you're too afraid of it messing up your hair to provoke it," James pointed out drily. "Meanwhile, my specs are the perfect bait." The Niffler was already eying up James's spectacles, intending to steal them off his nose.

"You'd better go." James leaned forward and kissed Sirius before lifting his wand. "Don't get caught."

"Of course, you know me, the master of stealth," Sirius teased, winking. "I'll see you later, yeah? Keep my spot in your bed warm for me."

"Of course."

420 words

Written for:

Auction: SiriusJames (26-1)

Skyscraper, Floor One: "Would it kill you to go a day without being sarcastic?"/"Probably."

Founder Says - Godric: "Seemed like a good idea at the time."

Pick a Wick: 11. French Vanilla

Build a Better Breakfast: 9. Wheat Germ

1000 - 501. Niffler