A/N: I am so happy this story is moving ahead so smoothly right now. I am still about a chapter and a half ahead so I will continue to update weekly as much as I can. Thank you so much for your reviews on the last chapter, they mean so much. Reading those reviews are such an inspiration to keep writing. I am also really happy that you guys enjoyed seeing their talk, I know that one was overdue.

I had a lot of fun writing this chapter and I hope you enjoy it just as much as the last. This one will really be able to push the story into the next phase I have planned out and I am so excited about that.

Dawson

"So, I guess the real question is, can we both move past it?" Matt says, I look at him in confusion and am thankful when he continues, filling in my questions. His intense stare meeting me head-on. "We both made mistakes, we both did things to hurt each other, whether intentional or not. We can apologize for it all we want, we can both be sorry, but we can't change it. So, can we move past it? Can we both learn to let it go, to not hold it over each other's heads, to actually forgive each other and not hold on to any resentment? Because the question is no longer if we love each other or if we want to be together, or if we regret what we both did to break this up... We both already know those answers and we both know that isn't enough to make this work." Matt says honestly, I nod both of us on the same page there. "The question is, can we come out the other side, can we truly forgive each other and move on?"

His question hangs heavy in the air, my breath nearly catching at the severity of this situation. This was what we had been working toward for months, weeks. We had said we needed to air it out, to talk... and we had. Sure, there was more to be said, but that was the real question, because none of those other talks that needed to be had mattered if we couldn't forgive ourselves and each other and move on.

Could we move on? Could we move past this and finally put it all behind us?

God, I wanted us too, but could we?

I stare at Matt, his words taking me by surprise and making me really think. He was right, I loved him, that was never the concern, I wanted him... but could I move past everything? This wasn't a question of if we wanted to be together or if we could be together... it was a question of if we should. If we were willing to let go of all the pain and hurt and move on together.

There would be no more holding on to the painful things we'd done and throwing it back in the other's face when we were mad. That could not be a thing anymore. If we were going to do this, we needed to really let those things go or they would destroy us all over again. If we wanted to make this work, we needed to go in being a hundred percent truthful and honest with each other. Could we do that?

Even when we first got together, we had never been fully honest and transparent... Matt lying about his injury...

That all seemed so long ago, and so irrelevant, but it was at least worth mentioning being transparent with each other had never come easy. That was something we both would have to work on. I knew I needed to work on it just as much as Matt did.

But if I was being honest... It was something I wanted to work on...

Something I wanted to work on with Matt because I knew he would be worth it.

We would be worth it.

Jesse's cries break us from our stare and pull me from my thoughts. I spare a look at the clock, it was nearly three in the morning now. I sigh, forcing myself up out of the chair and heading in the direction of our room, but Matt grabs my arm from where he sat on the couch.

"Gabby?" He says softly, obviously still wanting to finish our conversation... I did too, but I knew I needed to get to Jesse before his cries intensified and woke up the entire complex, let alone Severide down the hall.

I gnaw on my bottom lip turning to him and resting a hand on his cheek as I looked down into his blue eyes, him leaning into my hand. "I promise you; I want to continue this conversation. We will continue this. I just... I need a minute to think." I tell him honestly.

I always knew, or at least hoped, it was a matter of when and not if with Casey and me, but now that the prospect was really there, now that we had bridged the gap of having these conversations, I knew we needed to tread lightly. I knew we needed to talk out all of our issues before we committed to this again.

Matt nods understandingly at my words, offering a small smile as I move away to our bedroom, picking up my pace as I stepped into the room and could hear the full force of Jesse's cries without the closed door separating us.

As I stood over his crib, I could see his clear discomfort. He was likely hungry and also needing to be changed. Seeing his sweet little face red from crying and the crocodile tears on his cheeks makes my heart clench and dear lord had I missed him tonight. I knew getting out of the apartment and slowly starting to spend some time away from him was good for me and needed if I ever wanted to get back to work... but it didn't make it any easier.

Before picking him up I quickly pull my dress top off and change out of the nice bra I was wearing and pull on one of Matt's t-shirts.

"Hi baby, momma's coming." I try to say soothingly, my chest aching in more ways than one as he continues to cry as I quickly struggle out of my heels and jeans, the latter getting tangled at my ankles as I trip out of them in a haste to get into my sweatpants and to get my boy in my arms. I knew it was easier to let him cry for a minute than to try and maneuver into my pajamas while also feeding him. His eyes open and he peers around at the sound of my voice, quieting for only a moment until he realizes I am not picking him up yet and lets out another wail of discontent.

I chuckle softly, leaving my tangled clothes scattered on the floor and quickly pulling my hair up into a half hazard bun on top of my head, knowing if I left it down Jesse would soon have it tangled in his fingers pulling it, before untangling the swaddle Jesse was in and pulling him into my arms.

"Hi, sweet pea." I murmur, pressing a sweet kiss to his head and cheeks. His cries stopping completely now that he was pulled from his crib. A little grin coming to his face and a sound of excitement leaving him as I pepper his face in kisses. I grin at his sweet sounds, my heart bursting with love. "I know, hi baby boy, Momma missed you so much," I tell him, pressing another round of kisses to his cheeks and stomach, elating another round of excited grunts as he kicks his little legs.

I laugh at his excitement, though the feeling was mutual I had to admit, and settle down into the rocking chair Matt had built for our bedroom. It happened soon after we both discovered that while we used the one in Jesse's room during the day more than anything, going in there at night was not convenient and I needed a place to feed him in our room.

I cross my legs as I sit, pulling them up into the large rocker, as I settle Jesse against me and he is already rooting at my chest. I shake my head at his eagerness. Though he was still being breastfed at night always, I knew his eagerness was likely more from not seeing me the past few hours and not from a real dire need to eat. I quickly lift Matt's CFD shirt that I had claimed as my own and pull Jesse close. Just as grateful as he is when he latches on, feeling the fullness in my chest that had started to settle towards the end of the night finally lessening. I would likely still need to pump tonight if Jesse didn't eat much.

Jesse eats eagerly, stopping after a few moments to take a shuddering breath, and I smirk, running a hand over his cheeks that were starting to fill out more. "Slow down baby, I'm not going anywhere," I assure him, he goes back to eating, this time much calmer than before. His little hand comes up, smacking against my chest a couple of times and I lean down, pressing a kiss to his fingers as he reaches out. He smiles, before going right back to eating.

I run my hand over his back, patting his bottom lightly as I lean back, yawning tiredly as I began to rock us. Humming our nightly song to him softly.

"You Are My Sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

I'll always love you
And be there for you
I'll protect you from harm's way
'Cause I adore you
You're my dream come true
You're my beautiful sunshine

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You'll never know dear
How much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away"

Jesse is still eating, but his eyes are falling, our nightly routine of singing, rocking, and feeding being his kryptonite. Matt slipped into the room around my second verse. Coming to set on my side of the bed near the rocker. He sat that there, staring lovingly.

"You're an amazing, Mom." He says softly, pulling my eyes from Jesse I meet his loving glare, the shy smile tugging at my lips hard to hide.

"Yeah well, he makes it easy." Matt grins, shaking his head.

"He does, I'll give you that... but you're still amazing. I never had any doubt, don't get me wrong. But for whatever I had ever expected, you have far surpassed it." He tells me, his words made my heart skip a beat, my eyes water, but I couldn't look away from his intense stare. "Look, I know we have some more discussions in our future, I know you said you need time to think, and that's okay. Honestly, I need to think too, but I know you already know I love you. Because I do, that has never been a question for us."

I nod at his words. I did know, the feeling was always mutual there. "I know, Matt," I tell him softly. It felt good to be talking so openly. No life or death situation surrounding us making it questionable if we were saying it because we could lose each other or because we meant it. This wasn't forced or a dire need. It was just what we felt. I hadn't drunk at all, and Matt was completely sober after only nursing a couple of beers slowly throughout the night. This was just truly what we felt shining through in the quiet of the night. "You know I love you too."

Matt nods, a small smile passing between us, my thoughts of this conversation being our most truthful and freeing must hit him as well and he looks away shyly for a moment before his eyes meet mine again as he starts talking. "There is no one else I could ever imagine doing this with, Gabby. There is no one else I would ever want to share this with." The emotion in his voice catches me off guard, my eyes watering once again as he looks between me and our baby boy in my arms.

"For how much I love you, how much I have always loved you... I never thought it would be possible to love you more... to appreciate you more. I always thought I had loved and appreciated you as much as I possibly could, and maybe at the time I had, but now... seeing you with him? Seeing you being the mother to our child?" He shakes his head, a look of disbelief filling his face, his loving eyes shining back at me in wonder take my breath away. "You amaze me every single day just by being his mom. Watching you with him, seeing how much you love him, how attentive you are... you just... you are the best mom in the world, Gabby. Jesse sees it too; you think it is just coincidence that he is a momma's boy? Maybe it is, but there is no doubt in my mind he feels how much you love him. All the teasing from Sev about him being wrapped around your finger? I love it, I take it in stride because I can't blame him if I am being honest. He loves you so much, and I just..."

Matt stops, his voice turning thick, he clears it, trying to get ahold of himself and at this point I am sharing the same struggle, my emotions getting the better of me. "I just, I think about how close he almost came to not having that, to not having you. How close I almost came to not having you... and I think about how fucking grateful I am every single second of every single day that you are still here. That you are still here getting to amaze me with being superwoman, super mom, and make me fall more and more in love with you. You're my miracle, Gabby. You are... everything."

Matt clears his throat, I don't bother hiding the few tears that have made their way down my face, or the tremble in my jaw. How could I after that? Matt smiles at me, his face full of the love and adoration that I was feeling. "Like I said, I know we have somethings to still figure out... but I, I couldn't go another day without telling you all that. I know you have had reservations, and I understand them, I do. I know you have been unsure of my intentions, that you haven't wanted me to say anything like that out of obligation or whatever, because of our situation... So, I just wanted you to know, needed you to know, that it's never been our situation or Jesse keeping me here. It has never been an obligation or anything like that. It has always just been you, Gabs. And now, more than ever, it's just you. I have never been more sure of anything, okay? No matter where we go from here, I just needed you to know all of that."

He offers one last smile, clearing his throat before he gets up from the bed, moving around our room and picking up the clothes I had stripped to the floor. Throwing them in the hamper and going to get his own clothes before going to our adjacent bathroom. Leaving me sitting there speechless. My heart heavy with emotion.

I let out a shaky breath, my heart still beating nearly erratic.

I pull a sleeping Jesse to my shoulder, patting on his back and getting a burp before laying him on the bed to change him. My hands shaking while trying to complete the action, my mind still racing.

I've just finished changing and swaddling Jesse when Matt steps out of our bathroom in his pajama pants. I set Jesse down in his crib and make sure he doesn't stir before turning to Casey. My body moving before my mind can.

I pull Matt to me, clearly catching him off guard when I lean up having to standing on my toes to reach him. I pull his face in my hands and press a needy, loving kiss to him, hoping to convey all the emotions back in that kiss. We pull away breathless, both of us panting as he rubs his arms up and down my sides, our foreheads resting together.

"I thought you wanted-…" He says softly, the confusion in his voice evident.

I chuckle quietly, shaking my head against his as I rub my hands over the stubble on his cheek. "I do," I whisper, the grin coming back to me. "But... God, you can't say all those perfect things and expect me not to kiss you."

Casey laughs, his voice still thick with the emotions from a night of talking, "Fair enough."

We stand in each other's embrace for a while longer, both content to just hold the other for a moment and enjoy the quiet. Matt's hands running up and down my sides send a shiver down my spine, he pulls me closer, our bodies now flush as he continues his pattern. I move my hands from his cheeks to the back of his neck, running my hands through the back of his hair, knowing just how much that action calmed him. Our foreheads still rested together and I could feel my resolve to hold out weakening as I ask the question that was on my mind.

"We're going to be okay, right?" I knew Casey could hear the vulnerability in my words because he pulls back just enough to look me in the eyes. In his eyes, I found all the answers I needed. There was a sureness there that I knew I could trust because this was Matt, and I knew I could believe his words to be true.

"Of course, we will." He says gently, "No matter what happens Gabby, we are going to get through it together. I have no doubt about that." He finishes, pulling a smile to my lips.

I would love to be able to finish our conversation that Jesse's cries pulled us from, but looking at the clock it was nearly four in the morning and I knew we needed to get as much sleep as we could. There would definitely be a nap in our future with Jesse tomorrow. I knew we were likely to be exhausted.

"Come on," I say motioning towards our bed, forcing us both to detangle from the others embrace. It doesn't last long though, as we both tuck under the covers and gravitate right into the other arms.

Matt tucks me into his side, holding me close and running a hand along my back as I lay my head on his chest. He kisses the top of my head, his grip tightening on my hip as our legs tangle together under the covers.

I get one of the best night's sleep I had in months, finally feeling fully content that Matt and I were ready to start working past this. To start working on us again.

Casey

I sit on the couch with Jesse in my arms, looking down at my son as he eats gratefully from the bottle. It was way too late, or early, by the time Gabby and I finally went to sleep, but we got lucky with Jesse not waking until nearly 9 in the morning. Gabby was still asleep when I got up, deciding I would give Gabby the morning to sleep in and get Jesse a bottle.

Now we sat on the couch. Jesse nearly done eating as I fed him and watched the baseball game; I had recorded it the night before.

Jesse finishes off his bottle, his lips puckering adorably as I pull the now empty bottle away and set it on the table. "Look at you big man, that is 4 ounces this morning. You may be almost ready to bump it up to 5 or 6 soon. Huh?" Jesse kicks his feet and waves his arms wildly a squeal leaving his mouth as I talk with him.

I shake my head at him, but the grin on my own face doesn't subside as I bring him to my shoulder and start patting his back gently. The burp he lets out must take us both by surprise because when I pull back to look at him, he is looking at me with equal parts confusion causing me to chuckle.

"Well alright then, bub. Good work." I sit Jesse down in my arms, his back against my stomach as he sits in my lap, his eyes trained on the TV as we watch the game. Every once in a while I start explaining the game to Jesse. It's two innings in when the smell coming from Jesse's diaper could clear a room and I know he needs to be changed.

I lay him down on a blanket on the floor and grab a diaper and a change of clothes for him. Before settling down in front of him and stretching my leg out on either side. Jesse's babbles growing in intensity as I start to take his onesie off of him, the smell worsening. "Yeah, yeah, you finding this entertaining, little man?" Jesse continues his grunting and baby talk, gnawing on his hand in the process as I start to get him cleaned up.

"You know, you are supposed to leave stinkers like this for your Momma, mister."

"Oh, I'm so telling her you said that." Severide teases with a chuckle, coming down the hall and heading for the kitchen.

I shake my head at him, finishing Jesse's diaper and throwing the dirty one away before coming to pick Jesse back up and settling on the couch with him and one of his toys.

Severide joins us soon after with his cup of coffee.

"Where's Dawson?" He asks, looking around curiously. It wasn't like her to still be in bed so late.

"Letting her sleep in. We had a late night." I tell him. Kelly nods, taking a sip at his coffee as Jesse babbles and swings around the toy key chain I had given him.

"You guys good? I know it was a little tense before I headed to bed last night." He questions.

I sigh but nod. "Yeah, we are. It's just tough navigating all this, you know? We did have a really good talk last night though, one of our best. For the first time in longer than I can remember I really feel like we are making some headway." I tell him honestly.

Kelly smiles. "Hey, that's great." He says happily. Jesse's eyes move to him now, apparently just realizing now that his uncle has joined us. He grunts for a minute clearly intrigued by his godfather

Kelly picks up on Jesse's interest and sets his coffee down, leaning over and tickling the little boy's stomach. "Hey, little man." Kelly gets a squeal of reply and is leaning over to pick Jesse up. He teased me about being soft, but when it came to Jesse, Severide was just as soft as I was. Jesse just as much his kryptonite as anyone else's.

Kelly stands him up in his lap, Jesse bouncing happily as he is held. He presses a couple of sloppy kisses to the baby's cheek, Jesse letting out adorable chuckles.

"And you call me soft." I joke. Kelly rolls his eyes, ignoring my comment as he continues to play with Jesse.

"So, you said you and Dawson talked. Does this mean she is taking Chief's offer to let her back on 81 to finish her candidacy?" He asks, changing the subject from our teasing.

I had let Kelly know what I was wanting to talk to the Chief about before doing it the other day. He had warned me I needed to talk to Gabby about it, that he thought it was a good idea, but we both knew her and she wouldn't like me going behind her back... admittedly he had been right.

"We actually still need to talk more about that, come to a decision." Kelly's brows furrow.

"I thought you just said you guys talked?"

I shake my head. "We did, and that is what we started talking about, but you know it just kind of branched into everything else. We ended up talking about us more than anything. About what broke us up, job-wise and personally. We never really went back to discussing whether she would actually take her old spot back on 81 or not or what the plan was going to be for her workwise." I sigh. Our conversation last night had really gotten away from both of us. It was a good talk, but we had definitely gotten off our original conversation.

"I guess we will probably need to figure that out today before I go back to work tomorrow. Apparently, Chief has been getting some heat from headquarters about getting a new candidate and he needs to let them know soon."

Severide nods. Jesse settling down into his arms as he was officially starting to get tired from his early morning and being up for a couple of hours now.

"Well, I am supposed to go help Kidd with something on her car this afternoon so I'll be out of your hair soon." I raise my brow at him intrigued.

"You and Kidd?"

It is that moment a tired Gabby decides to make her way out of the bedroom. "What about you and Kidd?" She asks, fighting off a yawn.

Severide rolls his eyes.

"Nothing about me and Kidd. I am just helping her change the oil on her car and taking a look at some issues she is having with the belt." He tries to playoff, but I, as well as Gabby, must see the look in his eyes. Gabby smiling as she clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth.

"Uh-huh. Whatever you say, Kel." She teases.

She pads towards us, the sweater of mine she had thrown on after getting up engulfing her entire body and ending at her thigh. Her messy bun from the night before was practically falling out at this point.

She looked like she would welcome a couple more hours of sleep, but still absolutely adorable as she came and plopped down on the couch in between us.

"He been up long?" She asks.

I look at the clock, it was half-past ten now. "About two hours."

"You could have woken me." She tells me, her eyes trained on Jesse as he sat in Kelly's lap. His eyes that were previously falling now looking around wildly at what I could only assume was the sound of his mom's voice.

"You're good, figured you could use the extra sleep. Besides, he took the bottle like a champ this morning."

Gabby smiles brightly. I could see Jesse becoming frustrated now that he could hear her but not see her.

"I think I am about to be kicked to the curb." Kelly teases, just as Jesse lets out a wine.

Gabby laughs, but leans over into Kelly's side and runs a hand over Jesse's stomach, grabbing his little hand. "Morning sweet pea." Jesse looks around wildly once again, though this time his eyes find her, widening in excitement once they do. His little feet starting to kick.

He is content for only a moment longer before he starts to cry, not liking seeing her, but not being in her arms. I shake my head, my smile unmoving as I watch Kelly pass the boy to his mom. Gabby puts her legs up on the couch, settling Jesse against her legs as he looks at her.

"I knew that wouldn't last much longer as soon as you walked out here." Kelly laughs. Jesse loved his uncle, but Gabby would always be his first choice.

The brunette grins wickedly, "Well, it's probably for the best, Kel. Sounds like you need to go get ready for your date anyways." She teases, earning a glare from the Squad Lieutenant.

He goes to grab a pillow to throw at her and I quickly shoot him a look. "Ah, not with the baby," I tell him, protecting both Gabby and Jesse. This only furthers their childlike behavior as Gabby sticks her tongue out at his retreating form and Kelly throws a middle finger her way.

"Lord, I live with children," I mutter.

Gabby shakes her head, knowing I was teasing. I had gotten used to Gabby and Kelly's dynamic by now. The two were either teasing each other to no avail or were being insanely protective of the other. Their friendship had come so far over the last year and I was happy to witness it. I knew they were closer than even I could completely comprehend, the two sharing more deep talks then I was allowed in on, but I was okay with that. I was honestly just happy the two of them had each other.

After losing Shay I knew they didn't lean on each other as much as they maybe should have, but after Gabby and I broke up and then she moved back in it was like the two of them became thick as thieves. Kelly becoming more and more protective of Gabby as her pregnancy wore on. It wasn't until after I was shot, and Gabby was diagnosed that I realized just how close the two had become. It was comforting. It was comforting knowing there was someone else that cared for Gabby nearly as much as I did. It was nice to know that no matter what happened Severide was looking out for Gabby just as much as he was for me.

I knew Kelly also needed that friendship. The two now have a similar dynamic to what Severide used to have with Shay. I knew it would never be the exact same, but I think they both found comfort in the other from their close relationship with their mutual best friend.

Whatever it was, I was just happy they had it. I could deal with their teasing and childlike behavior as long as they were both happy, at least it was entertaining... that was until they turned it on me, which the two often did.

"So, we should probably talk," I tell her, her eyes moving from the nearly asleep baby to me. "We got a little off-topic last night, not that it was a bad thing, but I think we need to figure out what the plan is once you return to work," I tell her gently, not knowing how sore of a subject this could still be.

Gabby looks away, back to Jesse.

"I know I already said it, but I am sorry for going to Boden and I-..."

Gabby is quick to cut me off, resting a hand on my leg. "Matt, that's not... That's not where my hesitation is... I just..." She stops, her eyes moving back to Jesse again, rocking him softly as he starts to drift.

It hits me then that her hesitance toward this conversation wasn't just about what I had done by talking with the Chief. It was about her going back to work at all. It was about leaving Jesse. It was about the conversation we had during her pregnancy. Did she still even want to be a firefighter? There was so much more to this than just me talking to the Chief I was now realizing.

I sigh, running a comforting hand over her back. "This doesn't have to be a decision we make now, Gabby. This is all still based on you being cleared for duty, as well as when you are ready to go back. If that isn't until later even after the doctor has cleared you then we can discuss that. I'm not trying to push you into anything... but I do think we should at least talk about it. After last night, I'd at least like to know where your head is." I tell her honestly.

After she stopped working, we both had been unsure what all the future held, we had not thought her working on 81 was a possibility again and I know more recently that realization had hit us, but now it was a possibility again... if Gabby wanted it.

Gabby gnaws on her bottom lip and I can tell she is trying to gather her thoughts, so I remain quiet, knowing she will share them with me when she is ready. It only takes a couple of minutes before she starts talking, her voice soft.

"I know I have an appointment in a couple of weeks, me and Jesse both for his 3-month appointment. I will more than likely be cleared for full active duty. I honestly probably could have been cleared before, but either way. I think if I get cleared, I will still take another couple of weeks with him no matter what we decide. If that is okay with you? I mean I know I get paid maternity leave... but still I want to make sure."

I nod quickly, "That is fine, Gabs. You know I will support whatever you decide to do. Even if it is after your maternity leave runs out, if that is what you want, we will make it work." I tell her. The last thing I wanted being her worrying about money during all this. I wanted her to have as much time home with Jesse as she thought she needed. I knew how much she loved him and I knew Jesse thrived on his time with her, changing that would not come easy for either of them.

Gabby smiles gratefully, taking in my words before taking a breath, clearly mulling over her next words. "I don't know, Matt. Honestly, I am still stuck on what I want to do. My mind is still clouded with the same doubts I had before... is it really realistic for Jesse to have two parents running into burning buildings; whether that is together on the same truck or not? I know things can happen as a paramedic too, it's just not the same. I want it, I do... but I never want to leave Jesse alone too. That isn't fair to him." Gabby stops, taking a deep breath to gather her thoughts once again. Her mood turns even more somber than before at her next words.

"Then I also think of how hard I worked for this. How hard I worked to become a firefighter. How much I gave up... we gave up for me to do this. When I think about that it almost seems stupid to think of quitting. Like a cruel joke that I worked so hard for it, it destroyed us, and now I am going to decide to just walk away from it."

I rest a comforting hand on her leg hoping to calm her as I could see her getting work up. "I just am stuck, Matt. I don't really know what I want to do, and just when I think I am leaning one way or the other I am back to square one." She tells me honestly releasing a heavy sigh.

I nod. "That's okay, Gabby. It's okay to not know what you want. Your feelings about all this are valid. You're stuck between being the amazing mother that you are and not wanting to give up what you have worked hard for. There is nothing wrong with that." I tell her.

We sit in silence for a moment. Jesse has fallen asleep against Gabby's chest and she gets up to lay him in his rocker. He stretches but settles down into a peaceful sleep. Gabby comes back and takes a seat on the couch next to me. I can see her still stuck in her own head and decide to at least give her my opinion on things.

"Can I tell you what I think?" I ask gently. Gabby nods quickly, looking to me intently.

"Of course."

"I think you have worked your ass off to become a firefighter, and you are already shaping up to be a damn good one... but I also know you are an amazing paramedic. One of the best out there. I think no matter what you choose the city of Chicago is damn lucky to have you on one of those rigs." Gabby smiles, the tension starting to leave her as I offer a grin back. "You only have two months of your candidacy left. You and I both know if you choose to not finish that you basically will be forced to start all over down the line if you ever decide to go back to it."

Gabby offers a nod, understanding my words. "Professionally, I think finishing those last two months before you make a full decision makes the most sense. If you decide to go back to ambo after those two months than at least you will have finished the candidacy and if you ever choose to make the switch again it will be an easier transition with you being a full-fledged firefighter. That fact will remain true whether you finish this out at 51 or not."

"That's true," Gabby says softly, clearly not having thought that part of it through.

"Personally though, I think finishing those last two months gives you the opportunity to spend that last time at 51, especially if after it is over you decide to stay a firefighter. I think you and I both know how much you need that. And from a personal level on my end, if you are going to be going back on a truck, we both know I'd love to get to be your Lieutenant again and look out for you. Those last two months would also give you a chance to make a final decision on what you want and I think being around your 51 family will help ease some of the tension you have about going back as a firefighter at all."

Gabby nods, listening and taking in my words. "I think you make some very valid points, Mr. Casey." She teases softly causing a grin to fill my own features. "You've thought about this a lot, huh?" She questions.

I nod twisting my lips. "I have. I mean, when I went to Boden it was something I had been thinking for a while. The more I realized if you didn't finish out your last two months of your candidacy it would be like the first 10 never happened, anywhere you went would likely make you start over. It wasn't until after you were at the house the other day that I decided to go talk to Boden and just see where his head was about it all. I am still sorry I didn't talk to you first about it, but I figured it was at least worth a shot."

The brunette nods, gnawing on her bottom lip again. "It's a good idea... It makes sense to go back to 51 to finish my candidacy before deciding what to do. But... what about us?" She asks timidly.

Her eyes finally meet mine, her hesitation clear. "I mean I know last night doesn't fix everything. I know we need to talk more, but what does me going back on truck 81, even if it is short term; what does that mean for us?"

I run my hands through my hair. I had been thinking about that this morning after all of our talks last night. I knew when I went to Boden we were no closer to being back together than we had been the past few months, but now? Now I wasn't sure.

"Boden essentially accepted this arrangement once again because he knew we still weren't together. I honestly am not sure he would go for it if we were." I tell her honestly.

Gabby nods my words washing over her, she huffs out a laugh, shaking her head in near disbelief. "It's like we are right back to where we were over a year ago."

Taking her words in I can't help but laugh, she was right. Though the difference was, even though our talks had made us a step closer, we still weren't together now; this time, as painful as it was, we really weren't together, and that was not a lie like it had been before.

"I appreciate what you did, but I don't want to put that pressure on us again, Matt. I mean, can you really say this would be a good idea? Even if we aren't together, you really think you can treat me like any other candidate? And what would this mean for us personally? We just put us on a further hold than we already were?" She asks, her questions all valid, though I wasn't sure I had the answers to them.

I lean back into the couch mulling over her words. "I think it means we keep doing what we have been doing. You're right, that we had a lot of good talks last night, but like you said it doesn't fix everything. We both know we need to figure more out. I think we use this as almost a trial period..."

Gabby's brows shoot up, "A trial period?" She questions amused.

"Yeah. We need to talk more, we need to work through more stuff, and we need to not get clouded by other things while doing that. I mean that's the real reason we have held off on jumping back into everything, isn't it? We wanted to make sure we did it right this time. Work through all our issues, talk them out, before letting the relationship cloud our judgment? Well, working together was one of our biggest issues. We are getting a second opportunity to do that and do it right this time. What better way to know if we can separate the personal, while it isn't well personal?" I emphasize. I knew this wasn't exactly our situation previously, but it would at least give us an opportunity to work together and prove to ourselves the progress we had made.

"So, we keep doing what we are doing at home, we keep taking care of Jesse, keep co-parenting. Start actively talking and working on any other issues we have... and we work together on 81 for the next two months. Simple as that?" She questions me. I could tell in her tone she wasn't fully convinced.

"Gabby, if you don't think it's a good idea if you don't want to, then we won't. I will support whatever you decide to do. I just want you to do what you think is best for you. Like I said last night, our issues with you being on 81 were a lot of my own doing, and I want to make up for that anyway I can. So, if you finishing your candidacy on 81 and us working on us while you do it is what is best for you then that is what we do. I am willing to do that, I want to do that for you, and for us." I explain.

Last night had been good, we had gotten things out in the open, but we still needed to figure out a work balance. When things got tough, we couldn't be avoiding each other and pushing each other away. That wasn't how it could be anymore. I wanted to be able to rectify that situation with her. What were two more months of us holding off? We had already been doing it for nearly a year.

Personally, and maybe even a little selfishly, I really wanted to opportunity to not only work with Gabby again but to ensure her that this time was different. We would make this work this time. I would make it work this time.

I knew Gabby had her hesitations with us getting back together. I knew her biggest hesitations from the beginning were me wanting to be with her out of obligation or just because of the pregnancy. I knew that was nowhere near the case, but I knew Gabby had taken a long time to move past that, and I hoped that our conversation last night got us over that hurdle... but we still had more hurdles to get through. If we were going to do this right it meant forgiveness on both our parts and working at this relationship. It meant being honest, and transparent and not letting our issues bubble up until they completely blew over.

Gabby had never even answered my question last night; both of us stating we needed time to think as Jesse's cries pulled us away. I knew we would revisit it, and I would give her the time she needed for that, but I knew I needed to give Boden an answer tomorrow whether to keep Dawson's candidate spot for her open.

Gabby gnaws on her bottom lip, her eyes still watching Jesse sleep as she sat deep in thought. Finally, she looks at me hesitantly. "I think I want to come back to 81, finish my candidacy before I make any further decisions... but only if you are sure we can do this, Matt? I don't want this to be the thing that ruins us." I can see the clear emotion in her eyes. She was stuck between wanting something for her career and her own personal reasons, and also not wanting it to be the thing that started another downfall of our relationship.

I smile, though I understood her fears, more than anything I was excited about this.

I rest a hand on her leg, squeezing reassuringly when her hand covers mine, her pleading eyes still looking at me.

"I promise you, Gabby. This will work. We will make this work this time. I know we will."

I hope she knew I meant more than just her candidacy.

I meant us. I meant all of it.

Everything.

It would work.

We would work.

I refused to accept any other outcome this time.

This wasn't the start of the end like it had ended up being last time. This was us rectifying the things that had torn us apart before.

This was the start of a new beginning. To retell the story in a new, happier light.

I hope you all enjoyed this one and are staying safe at home during these crazy times in our world.

As always, thank you for reading, and please let me know what you thought!