CHAPTER 27: FOOD FOR THOUGHT
"Welcome to Slytherin," said a fellow student. Her words were warm, but her tone was proud and her eyes had a steely glint in them, "where potential for greatness is literally a Sorting Hat requirement." The student—a prefect, judging by the special green-and-silver badge on her robes—looked from Malfoy and his mates to Myles and back again. "Rule number one is we Slytherins stick together. That means no fighting and no betraying our House. That would earn you point deductions, or even detention. My name is Gemma. Gemma Farley. I'm your prefect, so behave yourselves." Finally, she smiled like a normal person. "That being said, enjoy the banquet! I'll be showing all you first-years to your dorms afterwards—they're the coolest in the castle, from what I hear."
"E-Excuse me," said Myles, "but you said something about a Sorting Hat requirement?"
"Our founder, Salazaar Slytherin, wanted only the best in his House," Gemma Farley explained, "so he made one of the requirements be that every Slytherin had to have the potential for greatness."
"That explains why your brother is not one of us," Malfoy sneered at Myles, while his cronies snickered next to him. Their smug looks withered under Gemma Farley's ice-cold glare.
"He is a Fowl," Myles retorted, "of course he's destined for greatness. It's just…"
"Hufflepuffs are all about friendship and loyalty," Gemma told him, "but that means they're not always ambitious. Ambition, I'm sure you know, is our House's most distinguishing value. Everyone here has some sort of deep-seeded ambition, whether they realize it or not." She gave Myles an almost sympathetic look, "your brother probably doesn't have that, does he?"
Does he…? Myles immediately thought about their plans to conquer the Ministry of Magic, but something gave him pause about voicing it as Beckett's ambition.
"I thought so," Gemma nodded, "it's just like a friend of mine: good enough potential, but not ambitious enough to survive in Slytherin. You'll be glad to know Hufflepuffs get along with every other House, though, so it's not like you'll never see him again."
"I-I see…" Myles recollected himself. "That was very helpful information, Miss Farley. I look forward to being a Slytherin henceforth," he made a point to offer a reconciling hand towards Malfoy, "and I hope we can let bygones be bygones." Draco just sniffed and went to join some other classmates at the table.
"You'd better look forward to it," Gemma pointed out, clapping him on the shoulder. "You're one of us now." With that, the prefect went to mingle with the other first-years.
Over at the Hufflepuff table, Beckett was enjoying the company. "I'm still a bit sad about my brother not being here," he confessed to the Fat Friar while toying with his golden plate.
"Never fear, lad!" the Fat Friar put an ice-cold arm around him, and Beck was mildly surprised to feel the temperature in his body drop. "You'll still have some classes together, and there are always free periods."
"Glad to hear it," Beckett smiled. The hall fell silent, and he turned to the High Table filled with teachers. At its center was a man with long, shining silver hair rising from the only golden chair.
Albus Dumbledore, Artemis observed him as well as he could from his sideways view. This was the old wizard to whom the former Squib owed his current position as a professor. Artemis II had read a great deal about him, or at least whatever he could find. The rest, he heard from others telling him of the man's reputation. According to Quirrell, he was widely renowned for his power, wisdom, knowledge, and skill as headmaster of Hogwarts. It must be an honor to hear his personal address, the young man concluded. He was all attention, ready to hear what this living legend had to say.
"Welcome!" said Dumbledore, his hair cascading about his shoulders like melted moonlight, "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you!" Then he took his seat once more.
When decadent food appeared suddenly before everyone, Artemis was too stunned to notice. He sat with his eyes transfixed for a while on the spot where Dumbledore's head was before he sat down again.
"Um…F-F-Fowl?" Quirrell tentatively checked on him, shrinking back a little like he was expecting a strike and adjusting his violet turban. "Are-are you alright?"
"That's it?" Artemis blinked out of his reverie. "Are we certain that was his address to the students? It seemed far too incoherent." More importantly, he wanted to add, is this the Dumbledore we were just speaking of? The greatest wizard in the world by repute, a slipping old coot? He wondered if coming here with his little brothers was a mistake.
"J-j-just so," Quirrell answered. "I mean…I th-thought it was. B-but, of c-course I c-c-could be wrong!"
"You will soon find, Professor Fowl," a sallow-looking man with greasy black hair spoke from his other side, "that Headmaster Dumbledore is far more ingenious than you appear to think." The man looked at both him and Quirrell down his hooked nose. "Of course, I would hardly expect you to know that yet, given your…background."
How much does he know? Artemis fought down his alarm at seemingly losing a secret so soon. What does he mean by background? "While on the subject of backgrounds, what is your name?" he decided the first thing to do was identify this person. Then, he could learn more about his position, intelligence, and alignment.
"I am Severus Snape," he sneered at him, "Professor of Potions." The way he said 'potions' indicated a distaste for the position. When Severus turned his pointed gaze onto Quirrell beyond him, Fowl knew that was all he was liable to get out of him for the time being. "You are the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, as I understand?" Quirrell gave a start.
"Y-y-yes, Sir," he stuttered in his usual fashion.
"You seem rather skittish for such a field," Snape denoted. "Tell me, did some experience induce such a demeanor in you?" Artemis realized with not a little surprise this was the exact question he would have thought of, had he not already heard of his new colleague's traumatic time in the Dark Woods the day he went to Diagon Alley.
"Y-No! No…" the contradiction to prior knowledge, as well as Quirrell's hesitation, did not escape Fowl's notice. He also noted with interest the fact his new acquaintance appeared to suffer a brief migraine, for he winced and reached up to his turban. Before recovering paler than ever. His expression was that of a man in terror.
"Oh? How interesting…" Snape replied nonchalantly, as if they were having a casual tea, "I heard tell of you visiting the Dark Woods for a time. I had so hoped to hear of it."
"I would be most intrigued, as well," Artemis nodded. Why would Quirrell hide something as simple as a scare in the woods?
"Ah! Ah, y-y-yes—Y-you see, I-I-" Quirrell looked about ready to faint, or to beg for mercy. "I w-went t-t-to the D-D-Dark—oh, don't make me say it!" he looked imploringly at Fowl. He was intimidating, to be sure, but at least they had had civil conversations up to this point. Unfortunately for Quirrell, Artemis Fowl II was not about to release his own quarry so easily. Alone, he could scarcely get a word out of him regarding the Dark Arts or his past. With someone else intent on answers, however, Fowl could sense opportunity.
"The Dark Woods, correct?" Artemis eyed him with a look which made it clear he wasn't about to escape. "Please, do continue." Quirrell nodded and took a deep swallow.
"I-I w-went th-there…But!" he winced again. "N-n-nothing happened th-th-there!"
Snape was about to say something when the banquet was suddenly over. None of the three men even noticed they were missing dessert. Dumbledore again rose from his place, and the hall fell diligently quiet. Artemis half-dreaded another nonsensical speech, but what came next was perfectly sound:
"Ahem—just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered. I have a few start-of-term notices to give you…" he proceeded to give a few basic ground rules to the students. No entering the forest on the grounds, no magic between classes in the corridors, anyone interested in Quidditch should notify Madam Hooch for the trials in the second week…
Artemis nodded at each rule, taking care to check the twins' reactions. Myles was perfectly attentive, if not too interested, and Beckett perked up at the mention of Quidditch.
"…And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death."
The Fowl twins exchanged brief glances in each others' directions, and Artemis had a sinking feeling their curiosities were sparked. A brief laugh from Harry Potter echoed awkwardly before it seemed to dawn on the poor boy that was not a joke. Artemis resolved to find out more, but more importantly to keep his siblings from whatever danger must have been hidden there.
The safest school in the wizarding world, is this? Artemis thought wryly as they sang the school song. A pair of redheaded Gryffindors sang it like a funeral dirge. Perhaps Mother's concern was more justified than we thought. Holly and Minerva both told him of something they called feminine intuition. Maybe he could scan their brains the next time they felt something amiss with a situation, so he could find a male equivalent to use. Then again, he reasoned, Divination could work just as well to avoid these situations. For all his internal complaining, however, the young man felt a certain release in finding so many mysteries to unravel. What did Snape know about him, and—more importantly—how did he come by such information? What was Quirrell hiding, and why? What was in that forbidden corridor?
"I hope the new professors have their first lessons prepared for tomorrow?" Snape commented dryly once Dumbledore dismissed the students for bed.
"Of course I have mine," Fowl had almost forgotten he had to actually teach while at Hogwarts. He hoped his students would not give him too many headaches…two of them, in particular.
TITLE: This one hardly needs an explanation. There is food, and plenty to chew on for our characters. :P
DELAY: My brothers have recently begun needing use of my laptop during weekdays, and the weekends have found me occupied, drained, or both. What a relief it is to be back at the keyboard!
GEMMA FARLEY: I had to search up the prefects for Slytherin and figure out which one Myles was likely to meet at the time of this installment. She is a minor character, so I haven't much to work with…I rather like that, as it is almost a blank slate. I remember the Slytherin prefect's introductory speech from when I first signed up on Pottermore. Hopefully, this orientation from Farley was reminiscent of that.
SLYTHERIN VALUES: We usually only see the dark side of Slytherin; however, there is so much more to each House than their stereotypes. By the way, am I the only one who thinks Percy should have been in Slytherin? Oh, well—clearly, all the main characters and their relatives had to be in the same House. Well, I challenge that, Rowling! Hahaha, now we have protags in two other Houses!
FOWLS ADJUSTING TO THEIR HOUSES: They still miss each other, but they each had someone there to comfort them so they could still focus on the moment.
FOWL, QUIRRELL, AND SNAPE: Hahahaha, AHAHAHAAA! I was honestly not expecting this dynamic to arise so fluidly. Two of the most intimidating teachers questioning him at once! Oh, that was delicious to write down! Honestly, I was unsure of how to integrate Artemis II into his fellow teachers' side of the situation, but it simply wrote itself. This ought to provide a perfect avenue for creating a new angle unseen to us in the original!
SNAPE'S DIALOGUE: Notice how it was almost like he read Fowl's mind? You may remember he was good at reading minds, which is not a common proficiency. Artemis, unlike Myles, is not gifted in Occlumency. He is used to constantly using his mind, and his adolescence was a long journey of letting down his barriers. In short, his mind was an open book to Snape. In short, it did not occur to him he was sitting next to an expert in such a particular magic, nor would he have been prepared to aptly resist even if he had known of this.
ARTEMIS'S GOAL: His main object is not only curiosity. It is, first and foremost, to do what is best for his brothers and to protect them. He will investigate whatever he needs to in order to achieve this end, hopefully without jeopardizing their happiness or development as wizards.
BYGONES: There was no way Myles saw any advantage to enmity with his housemate, especially after the prefect's warning; furthermore, if he is seriously considering gaining influence in the Ministry of Magic, a Malfoy could be a help or a hindrance given that family's influence. Could this be a revival of the on-off connection between Fowls and Malfoys? Only time will tell, especially since Myles still wants to be friends with the Golden Trio and Neville, and he was raised to be selfless and polite as opposed to Draco's snooty upbringing. Will Draco accept the olive branch? That is doubtful; however, he was already warned not to mess with a fellow Slytherin, so he might at least focus his mean attention elsewhere (cough cough, Potter et al, cough).
SURPRISED TO BE COLD: As a child, Beckett hardly ever got cold. His body was always warm (just like his heart, lol). Being touched by a human ghost, however, probably brought the type of bone-seeping cold nobody could be immune to! Harry felt a sudden, strong coldness when touched by a ghost in the book.
FAT FRIAR: Each House has a ghost. I totally missed an opportunity to put in the Bloody Baron, but he is sure to appear later, anyway. I think it was nice to present a prefect to fill a Percy-like role at the Slytherin table, while the Hufflepuff Ghost gave a small parallel to Sir Nicholas (Nearly Headless Nick).
Who is your favorite ghost in HP? Mine is Peeves!
I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ARTEMIS FOWL. IF I DID, MY TWEETS MIGHT MAKE MORE SENSE.