holy shit. Chapter 50... and it's a lemon tart.

just wanna say I love you all. You guys make me laugh so hard sometimes. Special shout out to bandrocks and vamomoftwins.


Chapter 50 – I'll always be loyal babe.

Tuesday, March 3rd, 2020

APOV

"How did wonder boy survive meeting the family?" Jose asks almost too eagerly.

"They fucking loved him and completely ratted me out. It was like celebrating my own execution." I groan as I stab a forkful of salad into my mouth.

"It's like I've taught you nothing. You need to rule these bitches with fear."

I laugh. "Well, it served me right... I used to be such a shit and teased everyone... I had it coming... but he really got along with them and thank God."

"So..." Jose wiggles his eyebrows

"So... what?"

"When are you guys getting engaged?"

I take a deep breath. "I've got some stuff to figure out but we will definitely be getting engaged, I mean we kinda are if you think about it..."

"I'm sorry but I don't see a fucking ring on your boney ass finger. If you ain't wearing a ring that's causing seizures then you ain't engaged, hag."

"Thank you, Jose for that fascinating piece of information. I'll be sure to pass that along to Christian."

Jose's face changes and he gives me that serious look. "What's wrong Ana?" He only says Ana in a professional setting or when he genuinely wants to check in on me.

"We can't talk about this here. Tonight when we hang out. Elliot won't be there till 7pm so we'll have an hour to talk and figure out shit."

"Just make sure you have some more of that fine ass wine. My nerves are fragile, I need expensive things to keep them from falling apart."

I roll my eyes.

...

Earlier in the day I texted Elliot a list of chocolate snacks to buy from the pharmacy. He's being initiated into our girl talk circle this evening so he has got to bring the goods. It'll just be Jose, Elliot and I. Mia is busy at the Mile High Club kitchen tonight while Val and Kate happen to be in New York at the same time for work, but are going to meet for dinner and watch chick flicks in Kate's hotel room... I love that they've all gotten close to hang out with each other even when I'm not around.

On my way back to Escala, I get a text from Elliot.

EG: Chocolate snacks have been secured.

AS: Good. Ready for girls night?

EG: Am I ever. My skin in need of some TLC, got any facemasks?"

AS: You are a shoe-in for girls night. Of course, I have facemasks. I'm not sure if we have beer though, you might wanna pick some up.

EG: Of course you guys don't. Christian is such a stuck up shit.

AS: DON'T SAY SHIT ABOUT MY MAN.

EG: Tell him to get the stick out of his ass and I won't.

...

Elliot is surprisingly amazing at girl talk. Actually, I shouldn't be surprised. He has no trouble communicating and can talk about almost anything along with having an amazing, childlike sense of humor which is why we get along. We talk about high school crushes, well they do, I was a complete idiot when it came to that shit. I had pretty much planned to date after college, while I was living large in New York.

"So how's the ring coming along?" I ask Elliot as I stuff my face with chocolate pretzels.

"YOU'RE PROPOSING?" Jose almost spits his wine out.

"Yeah, I'm trapping Kavanagh's ass." Elliot laughs. "Ring will be done this weekend, and next weekend... her ass is mine. Literally and figuratively." He wiggles his eyebrows and takes a sip of his beer.

"Damn. You work fast. You're my favorite Grey boy now. We gotta talk some sense into this hag."

Fuck. This again. Everyone is up my ass to get married. I didn't get to talk to Jose about the whole Vishaal situation, we got distracted by... food and catching up with Gail and then before we knew it Elliot arrived and now here we are after shitshow episode of 90 day fiancé. I need to talk to Kate. She's good at figuring out puzzles because I can't seem to figure out what Vishaal's end game is beyond wanting to marry me. There's something else. Why the fuck is he pushing me to get married? It can't be reverse psychology. Is it really reverse psychology because when I do marry Christian, that's a done deal, no way I'm leaving him then... fuck... I hate that I'm letting this consume my mind.

"Christian and I are essentially engaged if you think about it. We'll get married eventually. How about we let Elliot and Kate have this year to celebrate."

"Damn Steele, the fact that you're making my impatient ass of a brother wait..." he shakes his head. "Only you Steele, only you... good, it'll probably teach him a few things"

"Dios Mio..." Jose chugs down his wine. "If I lose access to this fine apartment and fine ass wine because you couldn't get your shit together to trap his ass, I swear to god I will bury you."

"Yes, Jose. I will tell Christian to marry me ASAP to facilitate your lifestyle. I'm sorry for being so insensitive to your needs."

"I knew you'd understand" Jose winks.

...

CPOV

Ros meets me in my office for our upcoming conference call with the Tokyo office. There's an opportunity for us to acquire a new shipyard to add to our existing portfolio. I am not looking forward to the prospect of having to go there if everything goes south given how Ros is on maternity leave for 4 months as of next week.

I am going to die without her.

But I'll never tell her that.

It's going to be like when I first started GEH, barely any sleep, all the fucking travel and meetings... I just found Ana and this going to cut into my time with her. Fuck. I love working, I really fucking do but I'm addicted to my time with her. In every way.

"You met the family this past weekend right?" Ros asks.

"Yeah."

"Well you obviously survived."

"They fucking loved me Ros." I laugh.

"I'm sorry what? Were they drunk? They loved... YOU?"

"It appears I can be quite charming."

Ros shakes her head. "I should've introduced you to Ana as soon as I became friends with her. Would've made my life a hell of a lot easier."

"Yeah, you should've." I've always needed her. I just never knew it.

"Except she didn't want to meet you. I wanted to arrange a meeting with you right after she caught the Gotha mistake but she declined. Her exact words were "Uh, no thanks. He's always in a crabby mood." I knew then she'd be special."

I smirk. "Yeah... she told me about the few close calls she had of us meeting. She really knows how to wound my ego."

"Thank God someone does." Ros cackles. "So seriously, tell me... how's the family? How is the grandmother. I really want to meet her."

"They're great people. Really welcoming and hospitable and they love her a lot. It was a miracle they didn't actually marry us over the weekend. They kept telling me to put a ring on it."

"Wait... you want to marry Ana?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"I need some liquor." Ros gets up and pours herself some whiskey and gulps it down. "Fucking Christian Grey... getting married... I thought you were gonna die alone in that ivory tower. Damn..." She shakes her head and laughs.

"I guess I'm full of surprises." I chuckle.

"No, Ana is a freaking magician."

"Well, yeah that too."

"SO... when you getting hitched boss?"

"We haven't figured that out yet." I wanted to marry her last year.

"Why the wait?"

"Ana's got some stuff to figure out... we'll get there." I shrug.

"I got a question by the way. I meant to ask at the Gala but it slipped my mind."

"What?"

"What the fuck is up with her cousin? He seems like a creep."

"Creep is putting it mildly."

She shrugs and we hear the phone ring.

...

I exit the elevator and walk towards the TV room, after I've poured myself a glass of wine. As I get closer I hear Ana squealing, along with Elliot and Jose laughing their asses off. I stand behind them at the threshold of the room. They're watching this actor, he looks familiar... form one of the comic book movies, I think Superman... I vaguely remember Elliot forcing me to watch it, he's reading sexually charged tweets it seems like.

All three of them scream in delight after the guy reads each tweet.

Ana reaches forward and pauses the video.

"Okay, listen... I know you guys think he's hot and yes he is but COME ON... Lean and muscular Henry Cavill is way better than buff muscular Henry Cavill... I mean that god damn porn stache they made him grow for mission impossible made me want to cry. Now he looks like a fucking block of cheese... no... I do not accept this."

"Steele, HE IS A HOT MAN regardless." Elliot counters.

"Hag, were dropped on your head as a child. LOOK AT HIS FACE? LOOK AT THE BEAUTY..."

"So? I'm just focusing on the accent. I'm playing the next one. Richard Madden is next."

I try to suppress a laugh. She plays the next video and an actor, I assume, with a welsh accent starts to read what are called 'thirst tweets'. Each one more raunchier than the next while these three girls laugh like a bunch of hyenas.

"Can we please talk about his butt in bodyguard?" Jose pleads.

"I thought you'd never ask." Elliot laughs... and it is beyond me how he can fucking take part in any conversation.

"T'was quite a toned butt." Ana laughs. What the fuck... I know he's an actor but I'm not entirely okay with her randomly discussing other men's asses.

Fuck this.

I walk in take my seat along the far edge of the sectional sofa.

Ana pauses the TV and they go quiet and look at me as if I stepped off of a spaceship.

"Oh shit, Hurricane Dorothy is here." Elliot warns.

"Yeah... and by the looks of it... we're at a category 1 about to skip to a category 5. Landfall is imminent..." Ana giggles.

"This I have gotta see." Jose sips his wine and gets even more comfortable.

"Hi" Ana smiles, all embarrassed.

"Please, don't let me interrupt, you all were discussing someone's ass." I say dryly.

"Honestly bro, you gotta see it to believe it." Elliot shrugs and takes a swig of his beer.

"How the fuck did you become part of girls night?" Seriously, this fucker has no problem ingratiating himself into any situation.

"Simple. I asked." He smirks.

"He's actually a natural." Ana giggles.

"And not bad on the eyes, thank god." Jose and Elliot high five.

Ana gets up from between them and walks over to me and sits in my lap, giving me a small kiss. Both Jose and Elliot groan like fucking 5 year olds.

"Fuck off you two." I growl and Ana giggles.

We watch a few more of these so called thirst tweet videos and Elliot's objectification surprises me most of all.

"What? I'm comfortable enough in my sexuality to appreciate another man, bro." Jose and Ana cackle at Elliot's declaration while, I roll my eyes and shake my head.

"Guys, I petition Christian Grey to read some thirst tweets." Ana jumps off my lap and goes to pick up her phone. "Jose, open up twitter and retweet me."

"What the fuck are you doing Ana?" I grumble

"Sssh... trust me this will be fun." She looks back at me and winks.

"Yeah bro, live a little." Elliot chides and I'm this close to throwing him out of the window. I don't know why I'm acting like this. I know this is all fun but the fact that Ana is discussing other men's bodies bothers me.

After 5 minutes of back and forth with Jose Ana comes back and sits next to me.

"Now, we wait. I'll give it 10 minutes and I guarantee we'll have a barrage of thirst tweets for you." She wiggles her eyebrows

"Ana, this is not funny... you're attaching your name to some silly fad and..."

"Christian, please chill the fuck out and go with the flow... besides this is all anonymous. Both and I are anons on twitter. I'm hipstercurry and Jose is literally QueenJoselicious. We have fake pictures on our profile... we just use twitter to sound off random shit into the universe. We know what we're doing." She rolls her eyes and I feel my palm twitch. I want to spank the fuck out of her right now and then fuck the ever loving shit out of her.

I know I'm being unreasonable.

We watch some more seemingly funny late show videos when Ana checks her phone and squeals in delight.

"LADIESSSSSS... we have liftoff! 500 tweets and counting..."

Jose scrolls through his phone and starts to laugh his ass off.

"Oh these are too good." Ana stands up and takes command of the room while facing us.

"One tweet reads: I'd let Christian Grey tell me he's my daddy." Ana screams laughing, with her head thrown back as Jose and Elliot join in. I am not at all amused. "Another one reads: Too bad Christian Grey doesn't fly commercial, I'd join the TSA just to pull him in for a 'special screening'... Oh god... these are TOO GOOD. I AM DEAD" Ana falls into the couch clutching her stomach laughing.

"Hold on... there's a tweet here... oh this is really NSFW... never mind... wait... okay this is good one: Christian Grey has the power to make resuscitate my dead vagina." You know... I don't disagree with this. I always thought Ana's vagina was non-existent so thank you for activating hers Christian." All of them lose their shit and I am still not amused.

Ana sits up and snuggles next to me and pouts "My my, Mr. Grey... so many admirers."

"I don't find this funny." I growl.

"Christian, its just a little innocent fun. You're a heartthrob and this is all appreciation." She kisses my cheek and I feel just an ounce of calm but still... I'm pissed.

"Oh shitttt, there is mention of Christian's butt...they want you to do a my Calvin's ad. You should do it bro, you've got a good butt... Right Jose?"

Ana and Jose almost expire with laughter while I give Elliot the death glare.

"Fuck off, Lelliot."

Ana looks down at me, trying to suppress a giggle. "Oh shit, Elliot, I think Hurricane Dorothy has made landfall."

"The fact that I still care that he's my employer means I'm too sober to agree OR disagree with that statement." Jose says while sipping his wine.

...

Once Jose and Elliot leave after dinner, Ana and I head into the bedroom. I'm in no mood to talk... I don't know why I'm letting this get to me.

I take off my shoes and socks, followed by my shirt and throw it to the side. Before I head out to start a bath Ana stops me.

"Christian?"

"What?"

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

She pulls me towards the bench in the walk-in closet, sits me down and straddles me.

"What's on your mind?"

"I said it's nothing, Ana." my tone is clipped.

"Did something happen on the Tokyo call?"

"No."

"Is this about the thirst tweet videos we were watching?"

"Maybe."

"Christian... that was just all in fun."

"Yeah, you were talking about these other guys... you obviously like them"

"Christian, they are freaking actors... I mean... it's just random girl talk... it doesn't mean anything. Are you seriously jealous of Henry Cavill? And Richard Madden" She tries to suppress a laugh.

"I don't know... I just didn't expect that from you."

"What? For me to check out other guys? Unattainable Hollywood celebrities? I'm not dead, Christian. I was sitting with my friends and talking random shit. It's not like I think about these guys on a regular basis. It was just funny videos... it's not like if they stood in front of me that I'd jump them. You're the only guy I wanna jump." She wiggles her eyebrows.

I remain quiet. Why am I still feeling like this? Why am I jealous?

"How would you feel if you heard me discussing other women like that... or heard other women objectifying me?"

"Uh... earth to Christian grey, I have heard MANY fantasies about you... like I need a brain bleach after the shit I've heard around GEH. People talk... and you can go ahead and talk about other women. Heck, I'll join you... I can appreciate a beautiful woman... as long as it's not a crass observation... I'm game to check out women too. I could spend hours talking about my crush on Gigi Hadid" She shrugs.

"Ros said something today. She said she wanted to introduce you to me after you found the Gotha mistake and you flat out declined because you thought I was always in a pissy and crabby mood."

"Yeah, I did. Why?"

"You have always dismissed me."

"CHRISTIAN! Oh my god... you're the owner of GEH... I didn't want to meet you because I didn't want to do or say something stupid because I didn't want to get fired. What if I had made an innocent joke or said something stupid and you took it as my being over friendly and yelled at me... I couldn't have handled that. So I thought it would be best to avoid you for as long as I could. It's not because I hated you. I was just... dealing with my own issues. I didn't want praise, I just wanted to do my job the best I could... I mean look at what happened when we first met, I literally dropped a cup and caused a mess. I was sure you were gonna fire my ass for incompetency or something. I was so embarrassed that that is how you were first meeting me. I take a lot of pride in my work but for that to be our first meeting, I was mortified."

I look down and breathe.

"Want to hear something funny?"

I quietly nod.

"When Mr. Travis's first assistant left, I hadn't officially been promoted, this was three weeks before thanksgiving... Ros was in Travis's office for a conference call. You were supposed to be there too but you still hadn't confirmed if you'd show up. Anyway, I was prepping some contracts to be messengered out and you walked right past the copy room towards Travis's door. I got a message from Mr. Travis asking for an extra copy of the report because he had given you his. You guys were on a conference call with the Gotha lawyers and CEO. I walked into Travis's office and you were standing by the window looking out, your back was towards everyone while the speakerphone was on and the Germans were talking and I quickly handed Travis the extra copy. Ros tried to get me to stay and was teasing me but I ran out of there. It was a joke among Travis, Ros and Jose... to threaten me with a meeting with you because I was so scared of you" she giggles.

"You were there?"

"Yeah, I was."

"Why didn't you stay?"

"You seemed like you were in a bad mood. You were running your hands through your hair. I didn't want to be on the receiving end of the 'Wrath of Grey.'" She giggles. "Christian, there are so many instances where we almost met at GEH... and in all instances you never once noticed me... and that's okay. It's what I wanted too. I was following the HR mantra, stay away from Grey. It was also out of respect."

"I want to be the only man in your life."

"But you are, Mr. Grey and always will be." She holds my face in her hands. "You're the only man I love and want to be with, and want to spend the rest of my life with." She peppers my lips with kisses "The only man who can turn me on, the only man who gets me wet and most of all, you're the only man who can make me come, Mr. Grey..." she bites my lip.

I feel my cock twitch and it takes everything in me to not fuck her in this moment...

"Why did you have to be such a stickler for rules...? Why couldn't you have just met me early on... " I needed you.

"Because if you don't follow the rules, you get punished... though I believe I may be in for some punishment this evening." She wiggles her eyebrows and I try to suppress a smile. "What do you think, Mr. Grey, do I deserve a little punishment? She whispers and bites my earlobe.

Holy fuck.

"I want to be rough with you Miss Steele."

"Whatever pleases Sir." She gives me a small kiss and I lift her making her squeal and set her down.

"Go to the bedroom and stand by the bed facing the mattress. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Now go."

I pick up two silver ties from my drawer and walk to the bedroom. She's waiting by the bed, staring at the mattress.

"Strip." I order.

She shivers a bit but unzips her dress from the side and slowly takes it off followed by her panties and sets them on the floor to the side.

I stand right behind her and make a makeshift blindfold with one tie and tie her hands in front with the other. Once I'm done, I pull her close to me, her back to my chest, one hand grabbing her neck and turning it towards me while the other hands travels down her stomach and cups her sex.

"Do you know why I'm going to punish you Anastasia?"

FLASHBACK

"You know, you're the only person who actually makes me like my name?" Ana says out of the blue, as we drive back from Mom and Dad's house after Sunday dinner.

"You never liked your name?"

"I never liked how Carla said it... she always made is sound so ditzy... like Ana-stacyeea.. ughhh." she shakes her head. "Ray always called me Annie cause he thought I had spunk and I just adopted Ana on my own cause I felt like it was invisible enough of a name. Anastasia didn't seem to fit who I was. I didn't feel like a princess or special. Besides I was only called that when I was in trouble" She shrugs.

"I prefer the Saint comparison."

"That's cause you're addicted to the holy grail of sex with me." She giggles.

"That smart mouth, Miss Steele."

"You love it soooo much, Mr. Grey."

"That I do." I pick up her hands and kiss it. "You want me to call you Anastasia then?"

"Only when we're... umm..." she giggles.

Well, well... Miss Steele, let the freak come out to play. "Umm what Miss Steele?" I tease as I bit her hand lightly.

"Shut up... " She laughs. "I like it when you call me Anastasia when we play... " she says shyly.

"Is that so?" I smirk.

"Yes sir."

"Well, Anastasia, I believe we need to reward you for being so forthcoming tonight."

"I can't wait, Sir." She says with a giggle. Fuck, this woman is out to kill me.

END FLASHBACK

"Because I was talking about other men, Sir."

"And who is the only man you should ever be talking or thinking about?"

"You, Sir."

"Correct. Now I think I should spank you 10 times Anastasia." I say before biting her lip. She's fucking drenched and ready.

"Yes sir, please..."

"Good. Don't come."

"Yes sir." She almost moans.

"Hush."

I let her go and take off my pants and sit on the bed leaning against the headboard. I help her straddle on to me and guide hands to hold the headboard behind me and lower her down to take me in. She gasps and tries to suppress a moan.

"Do not make a sound and stay very still, Anastasia."

She takes a deep breath and I stare at her while I try to sync my breathing to hers, running my hands lightly over her thighs. She shivers a little every now and then and I feel my cock twitch inside of her. I need this to last, it's like I have to retrain myself all the control I used to have.

"Lean forward a little."

She does and her breasts are right in front of my face. I circle her nipples with the tip of my tongue and she tries her best not to moan as I squeeze her ass.

"You're going to count, do you understand Anastasia?" Fuck, I really love saying her name.

"Yes, Sir."

I time each slap with a hard bite of her breast.

"One" She gasps.

I continue the strikes, alternating between each ass cheek and rubbing it lightly with my hand before I land the next one.

"Six." She's practically begging at this point to be fucked... her orgasm is building as she tightens around but she works to relax herself. My girl is a natural at this.

"Eight." She bites her lip and throws her head back in a moan. Fuck I'm so close and I need to rein it in. I can feel her juices dripping along my own thighs... I'm going to drag this out for both our pleasures.

"Nine... please sir..." she screams out in pleasure

"Sshh, you're almost there baby."

I really let it rip for the last one bite down as hard as I can. "TEN."

"Ahhhh" she tightens herself around me, biting her lip as she tries to calm down and keep her orgasm at bay.

"Now I'm going to fuck you hard." I growl and bite down on her neck.

"Please, Sir... please." She begs.

I lift her up and maneuver myself and end up behind her as her hands remain on the headboard and she straddles me in reverse.

I move her to the side and lick and kiss her neck while I hold her face.

"Tell me Anastasia, do you like it when I fuck you hard. Do you like it when I'm rough with you?"

"Yes Sir, I love it." She begs, panting as I grind my erection into her. If my dick could murder me right now it would. I'm painfully hard and need release. Fuck...

"Do you think you deserve to come?"

"Please, Sir... let me come."

"Why should I?"

"Because I love you and you're the only man I want to make me come."

"That's right, Anastasia. I am the only man who will make you come. All your orgasms are mine."

"Yes... only yours."

I position myself and slam into her, gripping her hips hard and fucking her as roughly as I can. She moans and soon I feel her start to quiver and tighten herself around me. I feel the pressure build in me. I bite down on her shoulder and groan my release as screams out her own.

We lie on the bed panting as I remove the blindfold and untie her hands, massaging her arms and kissing every so often.

"Was the rough enough for you baby?"

She giggles. "Hmm, there's always room for improvement."

"Damn, you're really hard to please."

"It keeps you on your toes and coming back for more" she leans over and kisses me.

"I'll always want more with you." I whisper against her lips.

"Ditto, Mr. Grey. Only you."

...

So wanted to prove you wrong
I'm still faithful to the light we lost
So remember this
I will always be loyal babe

I'll always be loyal babe (I'm still loyal to you)
(Fires die but)
(But I'm loyal to you always)
(I'm still loyal to you)
(Fires die)

I kiss her neck as she hums and sings along to the music. "You almost fell asleep on me in the bath."

"Yeah, it was so relaxing... but now I'm wide awake." She giggles.

"I thought no hetero boys were allowed for girls night, then how the fuck did Elliot get a free pass?"

"Because Elliot demonstrated he was a solid 5 on the scale of 1 to 10 of hetero to gay."

"Of course. By the way, the fucker is obsessed with girl talk."

"I know... and he's quite the natural at it. So he's an honorary member." She laughs.

"I'm not sure how I feel about this."

"I'm very happy about it. Him and Jose have bonded and I like that all my friends are becoming a little family now... I always kept my life so compartmentalized but this feels so nice. I mean Kate and Val are in New York for work and they met for dinner and watched a movie in Kate's hotel room. Jose and Mia are besties now... this makes me really happy that my life is growing. All because of you Mr. Grey."

"I'd say it's all because of you, Miss Steele." I kiss her forehead."I wanted to show you something." I grab my phone from the side table and scroll through emails till I get to the desired one. I open the attachment and click play and show it to her.

She watches it intently for a few moments and then her eyes grow wide.

"You creepy stalker..." she laughs and squeals. "Where did you get this?"

"We have all the CCTV footage back up on the server, I only had to look up the date of Kate's interview and then emailed Welch to get me footage from that time slot."

"This is so romantically creepy Mr. Grey." She giggles and gives me a kiss.

She's sitting in the plaza outside of GEH wearing a simple black pantsuit with her hair tied up in her signature ponytail and heels. She's look professional and sits on one of the benches and changes into flats and sits indian style. She opens a notebook and nibbles on a granola bar writing something. Every now and then she looks up and cocks her head to the side. Thinking no doubt. After a while, she clocks Kate walking towards and her enthusiastically jumps up to give her a hug but I see her expression change and then suddenly laugh. She angles her head to no doubt look in the direction of the front door when Ros and I exit and shrugs her shoulder and dismisses me.

"What were you thinking when you were looking up?"

"I was thinking about the view of Seattle from your office and the fact that the building looked a little cold."

"Well, I do have a great view." I chuckle. "You think GEH is cold?"

"I mean yeah but it goes with the whole look to the futuristic tech vibe you've got going on."

"What were you writing in your notebook?"

"Some notes for my creative writing class that I was taking... I had a paper due in two days so I used to free write my ideas a lot and then fine tune them as I typed them out."

"You looked pretty dismissive of me there."

"Well, yeah... you were an ass to my friend." She sticks her tongue out me.

"She asked me if I was gay, that was uncalled for."

"Oh calm your tits, you have to agree, only Katherine Victoria Kavanagh could've asked you that question."

"Or you."

"Probably but then you would've yelled at me too and I would've let it rip Mr. Grey... I don't like being yelled at. Even Ray never yelled at me."

"I know... but I do think had you asked me that question, I would've demonstrated how straight I was." I smirk.

"Yeah, yeah... you're all talk, Grey." She kisses me sweetly. "So tell me on a scale of 1 to I want to throw her out of the window, how pissed were you at Kate for the question?"

"I wanted to throw her out of my damn helicopter over Mt. Rainier, Ana."

"Damnnnn." She giggles. "You know the morning when I was on my way to GEH... Kate drove me cause I was really nervous. Rania and Aria facetimed me and I was like a nervous, almost crying mess and Rania was like, don't worry you're gonna be fine and if Grey tries anything with you... use that pepper spray Benny gave you and she taught Aria to say 'Aana Khala kick some ass.'"

I laugh out loud. "Thank God, you didn't have pepper spray when we met or kick my ass."

"Yeah, you should be so grateful. Though I think Benny would've been so proud of me."

"Didn't Kiran call you? I thought you guys were close."

"She did for a bit, she was heading into a meeting but her advice was to find a boy."

"Of course."

"She tends to have a one-track mind sometimes."

I snort. "Or lack of a mind.

"Look at you making jokes... I have taught you well..." she kisses me again.

"You had nothing to be nervous about baby, you've done so well"

"I didn't have the confidence I used to have before everything happened. I had to learn how to not be invisible anymore... not to stand out but to allow myself to be seen. The clothes that Kiran sent me weren't exactly... subtle in color so... I mean Jose and Val loved that shit but I had to learn how to tune out the self doubt which you know... I'm never really successful at. Ros was also like, finally someone to join me in my rainbow." She giggles.

I stroke her cheek. "I love you, baby."

"I love you."

Hearing her say those words are like a balm. Feeling her in my arms like this is finding a peace I've been longing for since the beginning of time.

"You know, what really got to me when I started GEH and everyone talked about you?"

"What baby?"

"It was always about how you looked. That you were hot which there was no doubt about that but for me it was like... okay he's hot and? Like what comes after that? I mean yes I was curious but not curious enough to find out. I had been surrounded by good looking men my entire life... so it's not something that really affected me on a deep level. For me it was always... what about who they are? Because looks fade but who you are, that's always there you know. I thought that because you were so private it was because you were sad too, like myself because I never saw you smile and while I did smile and laugh and all that, it was only a momentary distraction from everything in my head."

"I never felt sadness the way that I have with you... I mean... I never explored the emotion. I was always either angry or devoid of emotion. Work didn't require emotion, which is why I threw myself in it. I didn't have to feel with work. Winning didn't cause me joy it just fueled my determination. With you, I've felt every emotion... good and bad... except now I'm less angry. I'm happier. Happier because of you."

"I'm happier because of you too, I never thought I'd find happiness like this..." She says with tears in her eyes.

"and now you'll never have to wonder, baby."

I pull her closer and kiss her deeply as her hands find their way into my hair with leg locked over me, grinding herself against me.

Fuck..."Baby..."

"More, I want more..." she moans against my lips.


Authors Note: Okay so, I have the POWER (lol) to end this story in just a few more chapters... OR I can explore a little bit more of their relationship, memories and dynamics... I feel like given the covid sitch, we could use some more goodness but I want to hear from you. Because i've got a whole lot more ideas where it's just them talking and getting to know each other more. Discussing their pasts and falling more in love. It's all up to you guys. It'll be a little respite from the drama as well.

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Music:

Loyal - Jasmine Thompson