XXXIX

Lucien was having lunch by himself in the rectory. There was enough food in for him to make a sandwich for himself. Bishop Lascelles had come by earlier asking to borrow Lucien's office in St. Catherine's to work on some correspondence. There was plenty of stationary at the hotel where the bishop was staying, so Lucien did not see why he needed the use of the church office, but at least he'd had the decency to ask.

Bishop Lascelles was a decent man. Whatever else Lucien felt about the Church and about his higher ups, Martin Lascelles was a good man who had earned the position of bishop. Lucien did not quite like having him around, of course, but he did not begrudge the man the position. It had been the same in the army. Lucien could always respect his superiors if he could understand why and how they had that position. Otherwise, he had a lot of trouble following orders just for the sake of rank. There had been enough times during his military service where he'd been the only one questioning an order when he realized he'd only joined the army because it would annoy his father. And then he'd done it again when he'd joined the clergy to annoy his father and appease his mother's spirit. Both choices had led him to the same conclusion, that he was far too much of an individual thinker to do well as a cog in a greater machine.

But there was no use worrying too much about that now. Lascelles was fine, and he'd be leaving tomorrow. He'd be serving Wednesday Mass and then departing in the morning. Lucien could not wait for it. With the bishop gone, he'd have his freedom again. And his freedom meant Jean.

He sat at the kitchen table eating his rather pathetic lunch and thought about what tomorrow might bring. It was Thursday, which meant catechism. She would come to the church for class with the children. And after they all left, he could take her back to the rectory. He could hold her hand and pull her into his arms. He could finally kiss her again after a whole week.

Lucien thought about how he could make this little reunion special for them. He'd perhaps spend the morning after the bishop left arranging for something special for dinner for them. He didn't want Jean to have to cook, but he couldn't very well get too much for them lest anyone ask why he needed enough for two. He'd have to see what he could figure out. And he'd set the table nicely. Perhaps try and collect some flowers from the rectory garden that she'd planted and cared for, put together an arrangement of sorts for the table. Jean would like that, he thought. Jean liked flowers. And he would put on a record for them to dance to together in the parlor with the curtains drawn. They could be back in their own little world, just the two of them. And then, after they'd danced and shared dinner and cleaned up the kitchen, Lucien could finally take her to bed again with him. He could make love to her and hold her in his arms and wake up beside her the next day. That was all he ever wanted, and after a whole week, it could finally become reality again.

But that was tomorrow. Now, he still had to get through today. He finished his sandwich and drank down a glass of water and cleaned his dishes. When that was all done, he checked to make sure his collar was straight and returned to St. Catherine's to see what Bishop Lascelles was getting up to.

The church was eerily quiet. The choir did not practice at this time of day, and with no holiday coming up, there were no volunteers decorating anything. There was no one inside St. Catherine's, and Lucien actually found he sometimes liked it best that way. He felt most comfortable inside the church when he could be alone there. Or alone with Jean. But alone was almost as good. He liked to take in the beauty and quiet serenity of the space. He looked off to the red satin curtain behind the altar on which the crucifix hung proudly. Lucien did not get much opportunity to see it, seeing as he usually stood with his back to that crucifix.

His memory flashed on when he'd stood facing it, when he'd seen that red backdrop and not had a single religiously motivated though. It was when he'd stood between Jean's legs as she sat on the marble altar and thrust inside her as they chased pleasure inside one another for the first time. He'd looked up and seen that crucifix, and he'd been so at peace and so full of pleasure that it actually made him smile. The crucifix otherwise did not ever make him smile. It was only the memory he now associated that did that.

Lucien walked through the corridor toward his office where he knew the bishop was working. He knocked once on the partially closed door and entered. "Good afternoon, Your Excellency."

Bishop Lascelles beckoned him entry—to his own office, which Lucien was mildly annoyed by. "Close the door, Father Blake."

It seemed an odd thing, seeing as no one else was in the church. But Lucien did as he was told.

Before he could say anything else, Bishop Lascelles held up a pen. "I was looking for a pen. There wasn't one out on the desk. So I looked in the drawers. And I did find one here," he said. "But I did find something else. Something…most concerning."

Lucien furrowed his brow, not quite understanding what was going on. The bishop took the pen and opened the bottom drawer. The bottom drawer. Lucien understood what was happening now.

Bishop Lascelles used the pen to lift a bit of white silk out of the drawer. "I was not expecting to find this, Father Blake."

If he'd been a different sort of man, Lucien might have begun sputtering some kind of excuses or pitiful explanations. Or he might have ranted and raved about invasion of privacy. But Lucien was not that sort of man. He stood still and silent and waited for the bishop to show his hand, to reveal what it was he was thinking about the fact that he'd just found Jean's knickers in the drawer of the priest's desk.

"I do not know to whom these belong," the bishop said, and Lucien found himself relaxing infinitesimally. "Nor do I know how long you've kept them in here. I do not know if they have been given willingly or of something more nefarious is at play."

Ice hardened around Lucien's heart at that, but still he said nothing.

"But while I do not want or need answers to those particular questions, Father Blake, I do find myself with one very glaring answer to this whole business." Thankfully, Bishop Lascelles dropped Jean's knickers back into the drawer and closed it. He obviously felt just as uncomfortable with their presence as Lucien, though for wildly different reasons.

"And what might that be, Your Excellency?" Lucien asked calmly. He'd still not give anything away yet. He still needed to know what the ramifications of this mortifying discovery might be before he took any position one way or the other.

"This item in your desk drawer is a clear indication that your vow of celibacy is in grave danger. And frankly I don't care to know how much in danger, whether you have broken it or whether the risk of doing so is still invading your mind. If you wish to give Confession to me, I shall hear it. But regardless of your sins, Father Blake, there is but a singular solution I can foresee."

"Oh?" It took everything in him not to burst out laughing at the very idea of giving Confession to Bishop Lascelles of all people. Never mind the fact that he did not feel particularly comfortable with the idea of confessing anything to the bishop, Lucien still did not nor had he ever thought of his love for Jean as a sin. The lust he felt for her was no sinful possessive, physical desire. He wanted to bed her to bring her pleasure and find pleasure of his own with her for the simple reason that he loved her. He loved her and he would never apologize for that. He would not dare count it as a mortal sin, no matter what the Church might say. Lucien Blake loved Jean Beazley with all his heart. No biblical canon would change that.

The Bishop stood up from Lucien's desk and handed him an envelope. "I have made an exact copy for the archdiocese with my formal and urgent instruction to have you transferred."

"What!?" Such a thing caught Lucien by surprise. He'd thought some discipline would be in order, but a transfer!?

"You shall have two weeks to clear out the rectory before your replacement arrives. You shall travel to the archdiocese in Melbourne and stay there to await your next posting elsewhere. It is clear that there is temptation in this parish for you, Father Blake. The only cure is to remove you from it."