Chapter 25: Respecting Meredith

Meredith slowed her pace and finally came to a stop looking through a half-shaded window to an emergency room. The familiar mane of black hair fleeted in the corner of her eyes.

She inspected his appearance with an apprehensive sigh. He looked terrible. Apart from being handsome that is. For a moment, she stared at him as though she had never seen him before. She knew the present Derek was a far cry from his fourteen-year old self, that he grew good-looking. But as her eyes followed him impartially, she realized it was more than that. He was more than good-looking. He was damn hot. Her Derek was a freaking hottie. The face features, the hair, all the muscles… If the nurses had any idea what he hid in boxers, they would be fainting at his feet instead of just sending him enamored glances. It would be easy for him to move on… with someone…

Despite the general appeal of his physicality, he looked worse for wear today. He obviously spent less time than usual taming his hair; it was just a tad wild, making Meredith crave to come up to him and put the unkempt locks in order. He didn't shave this morning. And he had bags under his eyes indicating a sleepless night. Did he… finally accept the state of things? Did he realize what he really felt for her…? She wished so but at the same time wanted the opposite.

"Would never guess you're into pain."

Cristina stepped behind her clearly aware of what Meredith was engaged in.

"Girl, it's over," she went on going to lean against the wall in front of Meredith. "Don't beat yourself up over the head. It's not going to make it any better."

"I know," Meredith sighed softly. "Nothing's going to make it better. But it's not over."

"You don't think of going back to him, do you?" Cristina frowned at her with disbelief.

"No. That's not what I meant," Meredith shrugged and with a last look at Derek marched off for the stairs. "Have you ever been in a relationship? Of any kind?"

"I had a fuck buddy for half a year," Cristina said.

"Well, then you can't really know how it is I guess," admitted Meredith. "But a relationship isn't over because you say it's over."

"It isn't?"

"You can't just say goodbye, turn your head and pretend he doesn't exist. You're going to keep wondering at different times of day what he is doing right now… if he's already asleep when you go to bed. If he grabbed something to eat before running to work in the morning… if he didn't soak up in the downpour…"

"Okay…" Cristina bit her lip. "I should better shut up now before I say something grossly insensitive."

"Oh, please don't stop on my account," Meredith chuckled rolling her eyes.

"I can't even pretend to know what you're going through right now," admitted Cristina. "I just don't understand. And he… he hurt you."

"Unintentionally," Meredith argued. " Even if it was intentional, it probably wouldn't change the way I feel."

"Wow. I'm not sure if I should be envious or sympathetic…"

"Both," Meredith smiled softly.

"Are you going to be able to work with him?" Cristina asked seriously. "Bailey won't care to keep you apart. And I know you're looking forward to these two weeks of vacation… but what after? Residency is long…"

"I don't know what will happen tomorrow, Cristina," Meredith shrugged lightly. "Let alone in a couple of months…"

"Meredith!"

"Mer!"

"Who are these?" Cristina grimaced at the sight of two identical but for clothes women who were hurrying towards them.

"My sisters," Meredith smiled.

"You don't have sisters," frowned the Asian. "I read a biographical note on your mother."

"They are Derek's sisters."

"Mer," Lanie gave her a gentle hug in greeting. "We would have been here yesterday, but Mom yelled at us not to pester you."

"Shouldn't you listen to your mommy today too?" Cristina raised her eyebrow skeptically.

"Let me guess," Mia snapped, folding her arms over her chest. "You're Cristina, right? I think we spoke on the phone."

"You don't seem to have-"

"Look, if you think you're the biggest bitch in town, you're sadly mistaken," Mia snorted making Cristina temporarily speechless.

"Wow," she chuckled. "I don't like anybody but if I had to, it might be you."

"I don't swing that way," Amelia shrugged with a smirk. "We're not here to advocate for Derek. He's being an ass."

"That's another reason why we were told not to come here," Lanie giggled. "Derek had a saucer flying at his thick skull already."

"Damn, I could like you both," Cristina joked.

"Not into threesomes," Lanie smirked.

"So, Mer," Mia took her under the arm. "I'm not trying to hover but… we're here for you. Each and every one of us," she assured referring to Kathleen and Nancy.

"Please, don't be hard on him," Meredith sighed.

"I almost wish you didn't love him that much," Mia shook her head. "Is… is this for real, Mer? For… ever?"

"I… I think so, Mia," she answered, lowering her eyes.

"He's just a clueless idiot, I know," Mia said. "What if the geeky Derek returns? Would you take him back?"

Meredith shook her head with a tiny smile. "My geeky Derek grew up and forgot about me. I have him in my heart, that must be enough."

"You have to break up with her," Mark drawled over his lunch, his lunch that he placed on one of the tables in the dissecting room.

Derek hoped to gain some peace and quiet from the gossip and the giggling nurses, also from two of his dangerous sisters that were staying for the lunch with Meredith. So, he opted for a much more peaceful and harmless company of cadavers. Not for long, Mark Sloan's boisterous persona had to drag his ass after him.

"That's just such a brilliant piece of advice," Derek snorted with annoyance. "I want to make up with her and you're telling me to break up. You're also forgetting one tiny detail; she has already broken up with me."

"That's the problem," shrugged Mark. "She's in control. She has all the power. You need to break that leash around your neck. You need to break free from her clutches, man."

"You know, I won't even try to explain it to you," Derek snapped at him. "Because you're not capable of comprehending human emotions."

"Oh, puh-lease. Wait a few days, have a look around at other females, and you'll stop that bullshit love talk. There are other fish in the sea."

"Other fish in the sea, my ass," Derek muttered under his breath, trying to control his hands from shaking. Sure, he wasn't going to kill whomever he was dissecting for the second time, but he didn't want to massacre the corpse either.

"Sure, plenty of fish in the sea," Mark relaxed in his chair bringing his hands behind his head. "I mean, sure Grey is like top-shelf goods. And well, no one dipped in that pond except you-"

The surgical instruments fell from Derek's hands hitting the floor with loud clanks that echoed in the still morgue. Faster that one could blink, he was with Mark, decking him against the dissecting table.

"What… hell… doing?" gasped Mark struggling under Derek's strong grip. He wasn't sure if he was more startled by Derek's reaction or disgusted that he was pressing at his neck with his gloved hands… taken out straight from the dead guys intestines.

"You… don't respect anyone," Derek huffed into his face, forcing him to stay put. "You don't give a shit about anything… and anyone. But Meredith… Meredith you will respect…" he growled, pure anger in his eyes. "She's Dr. Grey to you. Don't you dare talk about her, talk to her or just look at her the wrong way. You don't do as I say… I'll force you to," he threatened pushing Mark for the last time and releasing him. Sloan stumbled onto the floor, his face blotchy red both from shame and being nearly strangled by Derek, the cadaver's bodily fluids on his neck and the top of his scrubs.

"Mer, you're okay with closing up?" asked Kris, the owner of the pub in which she was waitressing, putting on his thick coat. "My pregnant wife will be after my head if I don't deliver ice creams in the next fifteen minutes."

"Sure," she nodded from behind the counter where she was wiping glasses. "Derek's here," she pointed at a booth in the corner where he was sitting engrossed in homework. "He'll help me out."

"That's good. See you tomorrow," Kris gave her a thumbs up and left hastily.

Meredith grabbed a cloth and went from table to table, wiping the occasional stains and sweeping crumbles.

"You're done?" she asked gently, coming to Derek's booth.

"Almost," he took a deep breath speeding up his handwriting and smiled at her. "You?"

"Almost," she smiled back putting chairs upside down on tabletops.

They had an excellent working system, brought to perfection by years of experience. They complemented each other. This week Derek did most of the homework for both of them as Meredith took longer shifts at the bar. Another time it was him who worked overtime, so Meredith covered for him study-wise. They were in perfect harmony.

"Damn, it's starting to snow again," sighed Derek as more and more white flakes fell from the skies outside. "Maybe we should get a car after all…"

After much deliberation they decided to keep saving up and even though a car would be incredibly useful, they should refrain from buying it at the moment. They decided to wait with such serious purchases until they were done with Harvard and back in Seattle for good, still a couple of years to pass.

"Don't be a Grinch," Meredith grinned at him from across the bar. "It's nothing like Seattle at this time of year."

"It's not," he sighed peering out of the window at Boston's streets.

"Hey," she looked at him tenderly returning to his table. "Don't be sad. We'll be away from them, but they're still right here," she pressed her palm to his chest over his heart.

"They are," he took her palm and kissed it gently. It was their first Christmas away from the Rain City. The workload and financial constraints made them reluctantly agree on staying on the East Coast for the winter break and they already missed the rest of the Shepherds terribly. "It still will be a happy Christmas. We will be together and it's all that counts."

She planted a kiss on the top of his head and went to finish her work.

"Are you tired? It was a busy week," he said folding their materials and packing the books.

"I'm not sure if I can still feel my feet," she chucked, stretching her body. She shook off the ballet pumps of her feet stepping onto the cold floor. "Now that's better," she sighed and tiptoed to the jukebox, throwing in the coins and choosing the song. Soon, soft sensual sounds filled their ears, soothing their senses.

Meredith returned slowly to the middle of the room, swaying gently with every light step. He sat on the edge of the table, his eyes not blinking once as he devoured the dreamlike image before him.

Meredith started swinging softly around on her tiptoes, knocking his mind out. He couldn't stop staring at her, adoring her simple beauty. She was a vision. She was a goddess dancing in shadows. She was dressed in her working clothes, short simple skirt and a white t-shirt. Her blonde hair was tied back messily, unruly strands escaping from the ponytail after hours at work. Her eyes were half-closed almost in a kind of mystical trance, an inscrutable smile playing on her lips.

She threw her head back into the rhythm of the song. Her ponytail finally gave in and the blonde tresses spilled over her back, translucent in the light of the streetlamp. Her fingers slowly worked on the knot of her short apron. When she threw it on the nearby table it was a gesture as arousing as if she was shedding the last item of lingerie off her body.

He loved her. So damn much.

He got to his feet and joined her noiselessly. She must have felt he was coming as she didn't even flinch when his arms spooned her from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder.

They sighed in a relaxed harmony, matching bliss on their faces. Their fingers intertwined as they swayed gently together.