Hello again everyone! Bit of a shorter chapter this week, as we're building up to a couple of major ones. Hang in there!

Chapter Twenty-Five: Resolve

"I can't believe I did this!"

Ludus groaned and flopped back onto his bed, his palms pressed painfully into his temples. His limbs weighed heavily on his duvet, sinking into the mattress like stones in a bog. He briefly wondered if it would swallow him whole; at least then he wouldn't have to deal with the aftermath of his stupidity.

The twins were in his room, perched on the yoga mat he kept in the corner. Ludus wasn't sure if they'd come in to hang out with him or to watch his meltdown. Either way, he was sure Siluka brought snacks.

"She said yes, didn't she?" Iluka pointed out, regarding her nails in the midday sun. It was the day of the Sealight Night festival, which had arrived blindingly fast, and while the rest of Lulukoko milled about excitedly in anticipation for the evening, Ludus was in the midst of a full-blown panic.

He'd asked Maya to be his date- his real date. What in the hell was he thinking?

"I'm sure she's just as nervous as you are," Siluka added helpfully, eating a cherry from the palm of her hand. Ludus didn't even know where she got them- he couldn't remember her carrying a bowl when she came in. Not that he was surprised.

"I don't think that's possible," he huffed. His entire body was shaking. He was sweaty, his heart was hammering at the speed of light, his throat was dry, and his stomach was a giant lump of hard rock. Ludus felt like he was going to be sick.

Running into Lisette the morning before had been a fluke. It took Ludus over an hour just to decide that he was going to go visit Maya at all, and even longer to come up with a good reason. He felt bad about the way he'd been treating her, due to no fault of her own, and he wanted to make it right. Some of Tototara's leftover beef stew seemed to be the perfect excuse, until he bumped into the florist on his way to Maya's farm.

Ludus wasn't angry when Lisette told him what she and his Nana had done, but fear gripped him when he realised the myriad of things Maya might think. Then he got her text and everything just… imploded.

"What if she thinks it's not a date?" he sat up suddenly, a bitter taste on his tongue. He knew that was impossible- he'd made it abundantly clear what exactly he was asking- but he was spiralling sharply and he couldn't stop. "What if she thinks we're just going as friends and I make a fool of myself?"

"I hope I'm there to film it?"

Ludus tossed a pillow at Iluka, smacking her in the shoulder.

"Rude!" she sniffed, smirking, "Now I hope you fail horribly. No idea what Maya sees in you."

"You're freaking out over nothing," Siluka assured him, while Iluka pulled out her phone and started scrolling through Instagram. "You told her it was a real date, she's not stupid. Besides, Maya has had a crush on you for months. Literally everyone knows that except you."

Ludus didn't say anything, instead falling back onto the comforter again.

His plan when he marched over to the farm yesterday had been to just open his mouth and start talking- not a great plan, admittedly, but it was the only one he had. Maya already saw the letter, the topic had been breached, all he had to do was tell her the truth. Ludus didn't think he'd ever be able to do that, but something snapped deep within him as he stood on her porch, gazing into her bright, innocent eyes.

The idea that Maya might think there was a chance, any chance at all, that he was only asking her out because of his Nana scared the hell out of him, but the thing that bothered him the most was that he didn't understand why. Maya told him that she understood the letter wasn't from him; if he'd played along, laughed it off, the two of them could've made up and gone on with their lives, their friendship in tact. Why did that thought scare him so much?

The answer came to him when she started crying. Ludus realised with a pang of regret that he'd done this, that his festering feelings and his inability to deal with them had hurt the one person he wanted to protect more than anything in the world. After that, he couldn't hold back anymore. Ludus knew in that moment that he had to make his feelings clear to her, no matter how big of a fool he made of himself.

Luckily for him, Maya didn't immediately laugh him off her property. She'd actually said yes, and she seemed genuinely excited about it. Somehow, that was almost worse.

Ludus had been in relationships before. Nothing serious, a few dates here and there, a couple of month-long girlfriends in high school, but he'd never been in love. Not like he was with Maya. What if everything went well tonight? They'd start dating, and then… what?

That was honestly his biggest fear. Ludus was terrified of messing up. Maya meant so much to him, he'd never forgive himself if he hurt her- again, he reminded himself bitterly- and if they were a couple then he was in a perfect position to make a stupid mistake and do just that.

All he wanted was for Maya to be happy. Did he really think he was the one who could accomplish that goal?

"Come on," Siluka announced suddenly, standing up. She pocketed the rest of her cherries, earning an eyeroll from Iluka. "We need to get you dressed."

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" Ludus frowned, looking down at himself. He was wearing his usual attire, vest and beach pants, which was perfect for going out in the boats. Siluka shook her head at him, floating her way over to his closet.

"As in touch with your feminine side as you are, Ludus," she tutted, "you're still such a guy sometimes."

While Ludus tried to figure out if he should be insulted or not, Siluka rummaged through his closet. She pulled out garment after garment, things he hadn't worn in years, until she found a couple of items that she approved of.

"Here," she announced, throwing the outfit on his bed. Ludus looked at it, his brows knitting. Siluka picked out a thin long-sleeved shirt, charcoal with two decorative black buttons at the neckline, and that was a bit tight on him. She'd also singled out some dark-wash jeans amongst his many pairs of loose shorts.

"You sure about this?" Ludus pulled his lips to the side in a grimace, scrutinizing the outfit. Siluka didn't bother to respond, instead going over to his dresser and grabbing a comb.

"Sit still," she instructed, crawling across the bed until she was behind him. Ludus didn't bother to argue this time- he'd grown up in a house full of women, and he'd always had long hair. He knew that if one of them got it in their minds to play with it, he might as well give in. Less painful for his scalp in the long run.

"Put it in a bun," Iluka laughed, glancing up from her phone to make a face at Ludus. He returned the mocking expression, trusting Siluka to not take her sister's advice.

"I'm going to leave it down, I think," she mused, unfurling the scattering of braids Ludus kept in his hair. She spent a while teasing it, ruffling it, and fitting it into place around his face before she was satisfied.

"Hey, not bad." Iluka's comment sounded sincere enough, which surprised Ludus. "But I think you should put the two braids back on either side, and tie them in the back."

"Good idea," Siluka followed through on Iluka's suggestion, and then removed herself from the bed, moving to stand in front of him with her hands on her hips. She pursed her lips, considering her work.

"You told Maya you'd pick her up at nine, right?" she confirmed, looking up at the clock. It was only just after lunch, so they had plenty of time to prepare. "Don't be late. That's rule number one."

"There are rules?" Ludus smirked, doing his best to mask the butterflies still running rampant in his veins. "What exactly did I get myself into?"

"Do you want our help or not?" Iluka dropped her phone into her lap, crossing her arms over her chest. Apparently, she was invested in the conversation again. Ludus sighed relaxing into a more comfortable position on the bed.

"E kala mai," he smiled, nodding to Siluka. "I'd appreciate any help you can give me."

"Rule two," Siluka continued, counting on her fingers as if she hadn't been interrupted in the first place, "is to give her your jacket if she shows any signs at all of being cold."

"You didn't give me a jacket to wear."

"Your leather one," Siluka waved her hand dismissively, moving on to the next point. "Rule three, bring snacks. All women like snacks."

"You can probably skip that one, dummy," Iluka kicked her sister lightly in the foot, "they're not going to be out there long enough to eat."

"I guess so," Siluka shrugged, "but I always have snacks."

Ludus's smile widened as he listened. As much as he and the twins could fight, they always had his back when it came to the important things in life. Siluka and Iluka were arguing about the merits of having snacks at the ready when they remembered something much more pressing.

"Oh!" Siluka exclaimed, slamming a fist into her open palm. "I almost forgot. You have to kiss her."

Ludus nearly choked on his breath.

"W-what?" he stammered, any sense of relaxation vanishing immediately. "I have to what?"

"Kiss her!" Siluka insisted, a fiery determination in her eyes that Ludus only rarely got to see. Even with things she was truly passionate about, Siluka almost never dialled her energy up higher than a 4. "You two have been 'not dating' for so long that it is technically possible Maya might not realise this is a real date."

"You said there was no way that she didn't realise it was a real date," Ludus complained, stress creasing his forehead, "I made sure-"

"You were left unsupervised," Iluka countered adamantly, "so we have no idea what you actually said to her."

"You don't have the best track record with getting your point across," Siluka pointed out, shrugging. "Just because you think you explained yourself, doesn't mean she understood it."

"Yeah," Iluka agreed, nodding. "We're tired of watching you two failing to figure out that you're hopelessly in love. This time you're not leaving anything to chance."

Ludus thought that was all a bit exaggerated, but he didn't see how he could convince them without giving a word-for-word recap of his conversation with Maya the day before, and that wasn't about to happen. He didn't feel like completely embarrassing himself today.

"So, what," he sighed, resigned, "I'm just supposed to kiss her out of the blue? What if she doesn't want me to?"

"Not out of the blue, idiot," Iluka groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. This was proving to be harder than she thought. "You have to feel the room first. Set up a moment. On the boat would be good, or when you walk her home. You'll just… I don't know, feel it?"

"And if you make a move and you're wrong, just apologise and mean it." Siluka added. "People read situations wrong all the time."

"Not that you'll need that piece of advice," Iluka snorted. "If you kiss Maya and she rejects you, you're either a horrible kisser or there's something seriously wrong."

"You know, that really doesn't make me feel any better."

"Wasn't supposed to."

Ludus frowned, considering their advice in spite of himself. He couldn't lie, he'd thought about it; more than once, as a matter of fact. It was impossible for him not to. Maya had a certain way about her, one that rendered him speechless with nothing more than a look. He couldn't count the number of times he'd wanted to- and almost did- kiss her. Now that they were going on a date, he might actually get the chance.

He had an idea, one that he'd been toying with for a while, ever since he'd first thought about asking Maya to Sealight Night.

"What are you thinking?" Siluka asked suddenly, pushing his clothes out of the way to sit down on the bed. Ludus straightened.

"Nothing," he swore, meeting her gaze directly. They stared at each other, locked in a silent argument, until Siluka quirked her eyebrow and Ludus knew immediately that, somehow, he'd lost.

Sisters.

"I've just been considering something," he admitted, already feeling embarrassed, "but I'm not sure if it's a good idea."

"What is it?" Siluka prompted. Ludus thought about trying to derail the conversation, distract her with something so that he didn't have to expose himself like this, but after years of fighting with the twins he knew it was futile. They took after his Nana, that was for sure.

Reluctantly, and leaving out a couple of details, he told her what he'd been planning. It wasn't extravagant or anything, just… something he thought would be nice. Siluka listened intently; even Iluka was paying more attention than normal. When Ludus was finished, the twins shared a knowing look.

"That's when you should kiss her," Siluka told him confidently, making Ludus blush. "That's perfect!"

"I'm actually impressed you thought of that on your own," Iluka pursed her lips, genuinely surprised. "Go you."

Ludus released the breath he was holding, relieved that his idea seemed to go over well. It really wasn't very complicated, but he'd been flip-flopping about it ever since the thought first occurred to him. It seemed like something Maya would like, but having the twins' support definitely made him feel better.

He had a little preparing to do if he was going to pull it off, but nothing Ludus couldn't get done long before he had to go meet Maya.

"Thanks, guys," Ludus grinned, ruffling Siluka's hair. She frowned at him, fixing her braids. "As much as I hate to admit it, I really appreciate you helping me."

"No problem," Iluka saluted casually, leaning back against the wall. She shoved a cushion behind her head, getting comfortable.

"It's our pleasure," Siluka insisted. "We really like Maya. She's a great person. And you've been so happy since you met her-"

"Disgustingly happy," Iluka interjected.

"We want what's best for the both of you." Siluka dug through her pockets and retrieved another cherry, popping it into her mouth. "Being with her does make you happy, right?"

He regarded his sisters for a moment, letting his mind wander to Maya and how he felt when he was with her. A soothing warmth rushed through him immediately, bringing a smile to his face.

"More than anything," he confirmed, hoping he didn't look too excited. "Maya means the world to me. I've never felt this way about anyone before."

"Gross."

Ludus threw another pillow at Iluka, this time hitting her square in the face. She bristled, yanking the pillow from the floor and chucking it right back.

Just like that, any civility between the three of them evaporated.

"Why did I let you two into my room again?" Ludus complained, rolling his eyes dramatically. Iluka shrugged, appraising him smugly.

"Because Nana would make you if you didn't?"

"I really need my own place."

It was said as a jab at the twins' expense, but it was also true. Ludus had lived on his own for some time in college, but after graduating trade school he'd moved back home. Tototara was finding it difficult to keep up with maintenance at the Inn, and Ludus hated the thought of her dealing with everything on her own.

He missed having his own place though, and had been thinking about moving out again for a while now. The problem was that there wasn't much space to build in Lulukoko, and Ludus didn't want to be too far from his shop. For now, he was stuck.

A sudden fear overtook him then, silly, but sharp. Was Maya bothered by the fact that he lived at home?

She never acted like it, of course. Maya always said how sweet it was that he helped his Nana so much; she found it endearing. Endearing in a friend, sure, but in a boyfriend? What if she thought he wasn't mature enough to be in a long-term relationship, or maybe that he wasn't financially stable? What if she didn't think he could support her, long term, if things worked out? Would she be thinking about that already? Why was he thinking about it? Their first date hadn't even started yet!

A vein in Ludus's forehead pulsed. Goddess, he was overthinking this. Forget long-term support, Maya would realise her mistake as soon as she found out how completely, utterly insane he was.

"We should go, Sil," Iluka popped up from the yoga mat, brushing dust free from her skirts. "Lu-dork isn't the only one who needs to get ready."

"Don't tell me you have a date," Ludus taunted, swallowing his nerves. The twins already knew how stressed he was, he didn't need to add fuel to the fire. There was already a solid chance they were planning to tease him about it in front of Maya. "Who did you bribe?"

"Shut up," Iluka snorted, shocking him by averting her gaze as a faint blush spread across her cheeks. Ludus's eyebrows shot up. Iluka was… embarrassed? That was new.

"We both have dates," Siluka chimed in, sharing a secretive look with Ludus. She blinked discreetly in Iluka's direction, and Ludus knew that whoever she was taking, it was bound to draw everyone's attention. He mouthed a couple of suggestions to Siluka, who barely shook her head at each one. He'd have to wait and see.

"We'll leave you to wallow in your panic," Iluka told him, having already recovered from her unusual reaction. "Break a leg tonight, for everyone's sanity."

She waved, already halfway into the hall. Ludus watched them go, appearing much more at ease than he actually was. Siluka followed her sister, pausing to send a wink his way.

"Go win the girl, dummy."

Just a quick note without giving too much away, some characters *cough* Dunhill *cough* are going to be extremely OOC in this story. I really liked Dunhill's character design and thought it would be fun to play around with his personality and profession. But for all intents and purposes, he's not the same character from ANB.

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