*I don't own Twilight, it all belongs to Stephenie.*

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*AUTHOR'S WARNING - Buckle up!*

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"Feeling better?" The grave voice reached him as soon as he opened his eyes.

Edward rubbed his eyelids with the back of his hands and furrowed his eyebrows when he looked at the person sitting beside him.

"What time is it?" He croaked.

"Past noon."

Sighing, and immediately feeling his heart clenching inside his chest as he realized one more day had long started, Edward turned to his side on the bed.

Emmett heaved a breath.

"Is it taking you anywhere, feeling so much sorry for yourself?" He asked with a hint of impatience. "It's been over a week, Edward. You need to get over it."

"I'm trying…" Edward mumbled as he closed his eyes.

"No, you're not. You're just sinking deeper." Emmett countered.

Edward turned to him and, with his eyes flooded with tears, he looked at his best friend.

"What do you want me to do?"

"I don't want you to do anything, but I was hoping you would finally come to your senses and start acting like the grown-up man you are."

"I miss him…" Edward spoke in a quivering voice.

Emmett huffed and looked at him skeptically.

"He just asked for some time, Edward, it's not like you two are over." He minimized deliberately, intending solely to encourage the blond.

"It feels like it… He's not even talking to me."

Emmett rolled his eyes.

"You called him once, and there are plenty of reasons for him not to pick up your call, or did you forget that he's still at the hospital undergoing another chemo cycle?"

Of course Emmett's carefully previously thought arguments made sense, but Edward's fear of losing Jasper permanently was messing with his emotions. He was unable to reason or to see past his pain at that moment… So he looked away instead of answering.

Emmett huffed again.

"You're being dramatic." He stated and stood up. "And I'm not having it anymore. I've let this gone too far. C'mon, get up right now and go take a shower. I'm taking you out."

"I don't wanna go out." Edward mumbled again. "I wanna sleep."

"I'm sorry, did it sound like I was asking?" Emmett's tone was stern. "Get outta this bed right now or I'll make you."

"Emm…" Edward whined.

"Oh, please, you're really whining?" Emmett asked incredulously. "How old are you, five? Spare me." He pulled the sheets away from Edward sharply. "Get the fuck up."

Seeing the big guy's intimidating stare and knowing well he was not joking around, Edward squeezed his eyes for an instant, took a deep breath, and sat up.

"Why are you taking care of me?" He asked dishearteningly, looking down.

"Because you're not." Emmett answered shrugging.

"I'm just annoying you… You don't need to do this."

Emmett exhaled heavily and rested both his hands on his hips.

"I know." His tone was unaffected. "Now get up and go take a shower before I lose what little bit of patience I still have."

It wasn't hard to understand that Emmett wouldn't give up until he gave in, so Edward just accepted he didn't really have a choice. He swallowed his impulse to cry, forced his legs out of bed, planted his feet on the floor, and stood up, taking a couple of seconds to raise his head and look at Emmett.

"You look like shit." Emmett stated mercilessly.

"Gee, thanks." Edward arched his brows in irony.

Emmett chuckled.

"You're welcome. Now hurry up." He said, turning serious again.

Edward shook his head and dragged himself to his en-suite. Emmett left the room and was walking to the kitchen distractedly when the phone rang in the living room. This time he was careful to look at the caller ID.

He took a deep breath before answering.

"Hey, Jasper." He controlled his tone.

It took almost a minute for him to get an answer.

"I guess I should've predicted that you would be there." Jasper's voice sounded tired and disappointed.

"It's not the way you think." Emmett assured cautiously.

He heard Jasper chuckling.

"It's interesting how you two have similar speeches." He sounded ironic. "You have more in common with him than I ever will."

Emmett heaved a sigh.

"You know you're wrong." He stated. "I'm just taking care of him."

Jasper went silent for a moment.

"How is he?" His question came out in a worried, saddened tone.

"How do you think?" Emmett asked rhetorically. "He's in a pretty bad shape." He heard Jasper sighing. "How are you?"

"I'm…" He hesitated. "I'm fine."

"You sound sad." Emmett affirmed.

"I'm just tired. A lot of drugs in my system." Jasper replied simply.

"He called you." Emmett told him softly.

"I know. That's why I'm calling back."

Emmett huffed while thinking Jasper had waited a little too much for doing so, but he didn't voice his opinion.

"Wait just a minute, I'll get him for you." Emmett said as starting to walk back to the bedroom.

"No, Emmett, wait." Jasper urged. Emmett halted his steps. "Just… Forget it. I shouldn't have called."

"Of course you should." Emmett countered, forcing his voice to sound calm and steady. "What you shouldn't have done was push him away. He's crushed, thinking you two are over."

"We're not, I just… I need time."

Emmett held his forehead with his free hand, trying to control his impulse, but his heart was clenching, demanding him to do something, he couldn't just sit back and watch.

"That's something you don't know for sure how much you have." He said in a rushed low voice. "I don't wanna meddle, but I feel like if I don't, I'll regret it later so, listen up, Jasper." He squeezed his eyes for an instant before starting to speak again. "I can only imagine how confused and overwhelmed you are with everything that's come your way, but Edward loves you like crazy and being away from you right now when your life is hanging in the balance…" He paused, shook his head, and exhaled. "You have no idea how lost he is."

Jasper was quiet again, and for almost a minute all Emmett could hear was his irregular breathing.

Emmett turned away from the living room door and clenched his teeth while feeling a weird wave of impatience spreading inside him.

"Why are you doing this to him?" He practically demanded.

"I'm just trying not to lose myself." Jasper replied weakly.

"Making him lose himself in the process? How's that fair?!" Emmett's voice rose without his conscious consent.

He heard Jasper gasping on the other end and immediately berated himself for being so inconsiderate.

"You still love him, don't you?"

Jasper's whispered question didn't shake him… Although he was resigned, he had been painfully aware that he wasn't over Edward.

"I do, I still love him." Emmett admitted without any hesitation. "And I wouldn't be pushing him aside if he had chosen me. Especially if I didn't know how long I had." He huffed. "But you don't need to worry, I don't have a hidden agenda and I'm not trying to take advantage of the situation either, I'm just making sure he doesn't break completely."

"I got that." Jasper assured.

They were silent once more.

"You don't have to go through it all without him, man." Emmett said softly. "At least talk to him."

"I can't… It'll just make everything worse." Jasper replied in a choked voice.

"But you called him, you want to." Emmett insisted.

"I'm not ready…" Jasper explained, and Emmett noticed he was crying. "I'll go to him once I figure this out."

Emmett released an annoyed sigh.

"You may not find much left to go back to." Emmett warned, not even trying to hide how upset he was.

He heard sniffing, and trembling breaths coming from the other end, and his heart seemed suddenly small…

"I'm sorry if I'm being blunt…" He tried.

"Just keep taking care of him, okay?" Jasper asked urgently before he could finish his sentence. "And please don't tell him I called, it'll hurt him."

"Jasper…"

"I have to go."

"Wait, Jasper!" Emmett spoke hurriedly.

But Jasper had already hung up.

"Fuck." He uttered before closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

Then he forced himself to calm down while he walked to the telephone stand and placed the handset on its base.

He hated that he would have to lie to Edward, but he knew that telling him that Jasper had called and given up talking to him was going to bring him down even more.

So Emmett put on his best nonchalant facade, went to the kitchen to take a soda can from the fridge and went back to Edward's room.

He was surprised to find the blond sitting on the edge of his bed, still wearing his pajama bottoms, looking at the floor.

"You went into the bathroom, why aren't you taking a shower?" Emmett asked suspiciously.

Edward raised his head slowly, and when his swollen eyes met Emmett's attentive ones, the big guy couldn't disguise the sorrow he promptly felt.

"I was… Looking for you, to decide what to wear. You didn't tell me where we're going."

Edward spoke all that in a steady tone that didn't match his vulnerable countenance or sad stare.

"Just wear something comfortable." Emmett told him gently. "I'm taking you to eat and then we're going cycling around the park. You need food, sun, and fresh air."

Edward nodded slowly, clearly holding back his tears.

Emmett felt the urge to hold him and soothe his pain, but he suppressed the impulse. He believed Edward needed strength and encouragement instead of sympathy, or else he would just indulge in self-pity.

"I'll wait for you in the living room." He said, controlling his tone once again.

Edward stood up and made his way to the en-suite one more time, and Emmett waited until he heard the shower to leave the room.

#IMPOSSIBLE#

The silence between them was comfortable… The subtle warmth of the sun and the cool breeze coming from the lake were soothing, and it seemed to allow Edward to breathe a little better.

Sitting beside his best friend on the lawn at the river shore, Emmett contemplated how cycling around the park for almost an hour and then resting quietly next to each other were quickly becoming a morning routine for him and Edward.

Four days had gone by, and with them, thankfully, a little bit of the blond's sadness.

Edward seemed resigned, and a little more centered, but Emmett knew he was still in pain. He had just taken better hold of the hurt, but his downcast eyes were evidence it was still there.

"Aren't you tired?" Edward asked in a soft voice without averting his eyes from the horizon.

"Tired of what?" Emmett asked back, acting just the same.

"Of this…" Edward clarified as turning his head and looking at Emmett's profile. "Of taking care of me."

Emmett's thin smile was short-lived, and he bent his head before resting his crossed arms on his bent knees.

"No." He answered simply.

Edward nipped his lower lip while furrowing his brows.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked carefully.

Emmett closed his eyes briefly and sighed. Then he looked at Edward with an intense stare.

"Don't ask questions you don't wanna hear the answer to."

"But I do want to hear it." Edward affirmed, his heart pounding a tad strongly.

"Why?" Emmett frowned. "It won't make any difference." He looked away. "And it's not like you don't already know."

Edward licked his lips unconsciously, sighed, and averted his eyes as well.

"I just don't see the point of you constantly hurting yourself just to make sure I keep my sanity." He spoke quietly, but knowing Emmett would be able to hear him.

Emmett chuckled humorlessly, which made him look back at the big guy.

"You can keep trying to push me away as much as you can, Blondie." Emmett said shrugging. "It just won't work. I'm not going anywhere." He looked at Edward again. "And just so you know, I'm not constantly hurting myself."

It was Edward's turn to frown.

"Haven't you ever taken care of someone just simply because you cared?" Emmett asked in a serious voice. "I don't need a reason, I just want to, period."

And as Emmett turned his eyes to the lake, Edward felt his heart swelling and his throat constricting.

"Four days to graduation…" Emmett uttered pensively, and Edward understood he was deflecting the subject. "Will your parents come?"

"Only my mom." Edward answered despondently. "Dad is staying with Jasper."

"When will he be discharged?" Emmett asked in a cautious tone, looking attentively at Edward.

Edward inhaled strongly and released a puff of air before swallowing hard.

"He's home since yesterday." He spoke, clearly controlling his voice. "

"Did you talk to him?"

Edward shook his head.

"I talked to my father before you arrived this morning."

"Why aren't they coming?"

Edward shrugged before bending his head.

"The first few days after the end of the first cycle were pretty rough for Jade, and he was stronger back then. He's weaker now, so… Dad is just trying to spare him."

Emmett nodded and looked away.

"Let's go back." He stated and stood up. "I'm working the 10 am shift today."

Edward got up and picked up his bicycle as Emmett did the same.

"Have you decided about the offer, by the way?"

"I have." Edward answered in a surprisingly decided tone. "I'll talk to Doctor Herman after the ceremony."

Soon they were cycling side by side, back to their apartments.

#IMPOSSIBLE#

Meanwhile, in New York City, Doctor Swan scribbled on her notebook after hearing her patient's anguished words.

"Did you call back?" She asked in her candid voice, her pen flying over the page.

Jasper stared guardedly at the psychologist for a moment before answering her impartial question.

"Yes." He answered hesitantly when she glanced at him. "But I couldn't talk to him."

Doctor Swan rested her pen for a moment and looked at Jasper over her glasses with cunning eyes.

"Why was that?"

Jasper sighed and looked away from her, to his interlocked hands on his lap.

"I didn't want to hurt him even more…" He said, his voice breaking. "He would think I was ready for him to come back…"

"And you're not…" She incited with arched brows.

"I… Don't know."

"You told me you feel better about your parents, that the feeling of not belonging with them is actually gone." She reminded him.

"Yes." Jasper confirmed.

"You also told me that this distancing from Edward was for you to assimilate better your new reality regarding your family with a clear head." She continued, her gaze intensifying as she scrutinized him. Jasper simply nodded. "Why do you think you're still not ready to go back to him since the reason for estranging him has apparently been dealt with?"

Jasper took a moment to concatenate his thoughts and feelings, and as he did so, the therapist that had accompanied him since he started his cancer treatment put her notebook aside and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her crossed legs, and looking seriously at him.

"I want you to think carefully about this, Jasper." She encouraged him. "Is it possible that you're pushing him away because you believe that, by doing so, you're…"

"Protecting him." Jasper completed her elicitation in a pensive tone. "It's… Possible."

"And why would you want to protect him, what from?"

"From the pain…" He voiced the words simply as they came to him. "He's suffered enough… He doesn't deserve this endless misery, I just want him to be happy."

"You believe he wasn't happy with you."

"He was… We were, but... We were not, it's… Complicated, I just didn't want to drag him into the mess I suddenly found myself in…"

"You're speaking in the past tense." The Doctor pointed out. "Does it mean you're not into that mess anymore?" She provoked, analyzing his reactions.

"Not regarding my parents…" Jasper replied uncertainly.

"Regarding what then?"

Jasper frowned.

"I… Don't know."

Doctor Swan pushed her glasses back with her forefinger and straightened up, taking back her notebook and scribbling again on it as Jasper assimilated their discussion.

"Do you think I made a mistake?" He asked quietly, his eyes back at his hands.

The therapist glanced at him with her big provocative brown eyes when he looked at her.

"Do you think you made a mistake?"

Jasper released a puff of air.

"I thought I was making that decision for myself…"

"And now you think differently."

He nodded.

"I decided for both of us." He admitted out loud as he realized it.

"Do you believe it was unfair of you to do so?"

"I didn't consider his feelings, or what he wanted…"

"And why was that?"

Jasper took a deep breath as the realization settled in.

"I would've changed my mind if I had done so."

"And changing your mind would be detrimental to the situation because…" She incited again.

"I would've just kept him with me and would've ended up dragging him into my emotional mess." He concluded while sighing.

"It seems that there is a pattern, Jasper…" The Doctor hinted, once again taking her notes. "Our time is almost up." She said looking at her watch before closing her notebook and leaning on the backrest of her chair. "I have an exercise for you. It will help you accept and therefore assimilate your real motive."

"Isn't that my real motive?" Jasper asked anxiously.

Doctor Swan just smiled and look at him with one eyebrow arched high.

"It isn't." Jasper said in a sigh as it dawned on him. "What's the exercise?"

"You will take a quiet moment, any time of your day, and you'll brainstorm words that you feel that are related to 'protection'. It is better if you do it on a paper instead of on a computer or a cell phone. This way you'll be able to register most of your thoughts." She paused and waited for his nod before proceeding. "But don't read it alone once you finish it. Fold it and keep it."

"Am I supposed to bring it with me next session?"

"If you want to, you can, but not necessarily."

Jasper frowned.

"So, when will I read it?" He sounded as confused as he felt.

Smiling again, the psychologist stood up. Jasper understood it was time for him to go and did the same, but his expectant eyes were still on her.

"Once you know you are ready." She finally replied.

Jasper nodded again before leaving her office. His father was waiting for or him at the reception.

"Ready to go home?"

He frowned as hearing the word again.

"Yeah." He answered absentmindedly.

Carlisle noticed his despondency, but knowing his son's healing process, he chose to leave him with his thoughts.

Jasper sighed heavily as they made their way to the parking lot, his mind reeling. He was still unsure of which "ready" Doctor Isabella Swan had referred to exactly with her last words to him… If it was the "ready" for reading his own words… Or the "ready" to have Edward back.

He felt his heart pounding anxiously against his ribs as he questioned himself inwardly. He was afraid of finding the answer.

#IMPOSSIBLE#

Three days later, Emmett was at Edward's apartment, spending another afternoon with his best friend.

"Okay. See you at eight." He spoke on his phone before hanging up and putting it in his pocket.

Next to him on the couch, Edward looked at him quietly.

"You didn't need to pause the movie." Emmett said unconcerned, looking at the TV screen.

"I didn't want you to miss out on the plot." Edward justified, his voice sounding cautious.

Emmett looked at him.

"What?"

Edward sighed then shook his head while averting his eyes.

"Nothing."

He pointed the remote control toward the TV but Emmett snatched the gadget before he could press play.

"What?" He asked again, slowly this time, raising his eyebrows questioningly.

Edward sighed again and blushed subtly before looking at him with guarded eyes.

"Who was it?" He clearly forced the words out.

Emmett chuckled and shook his head.

"You don't get to feel jealous." He stated.

Edward bent his head.

"I know. Sorry." He mumbled embarrassed.

It was Emmett's turn to sigh.

"Her name is Marly." He provided in a soft tone. "She's one of the new interns. We met at the hospital and I took her out once."

Edward nodded, still silent, still looking aimlessly forward.

Emmett pressed play and focused on the movie while sipping his beer.

"You have a date with her tonight." Edward actually asked, but it sounded like a statement.

Emmett stopped the movie altogether and turned to him.

"Okay, go ahead, ask away if that's what you need."

Hesitantly, Edward turned to him as well, folded his legs Indian style, and looked at him.

"How long have you known her?"

"Around a month." Emmett answered fast and simply.

"When did you take her out?" Edward sounded calm, but his eyes were unquiet and Emmett had noticed it.

"The night before you called me, telling you were back."

"Two weeks…"

"Yeah."

"So you haven't seen her because of me." Edward assumed in a frown.

"I have seen her practically every day since she started at the hospital." Emmett clarified unaffected. "But if you're referring to taking her out on another date… Yeah. Pretty much."

Edward nipped his lower lip, then opened his mouth to speak.

"Don't say sorry." Emmett stopped him before he could talk. "I've already told you, I'm doing what I want to, it's my choice, so don't feel guilty."

They stared at each other silently for a while. Then Edward closed his eyes softly for a second, and when he looked back at Emmett, his whole face softened.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked gently. "Why are you putting your life on hold just to take care of me?"

Emmett heaved a sigh.

"You know why." He affirmed carefully.

Edward felt his heart accelerating and remained still, afraid of his own reactions.

"I heard you…" He blurted out. "On the phone with Jasper, that day he called."

Emmett nodded.

"I suspected so."

Again they shared a quiet moment while looking into each other's eyes.

"I'm not waiting for anything, Edward." Emmett assured calmly. "I just want to take care of you, that's all."

"I know." Edward affirmed softly. "But…" He cut himself off.

Emmett waited.

Edward shook his head and sighed once again before bending his head and closing his eyes momentarily.

"We didn't have the chance…" He spoke low, but he was certain that Emmett could hear him. He raised back his head and looked at the big guy allowing his walls to fall down. "I didn't have the chance to really experience what I feel for you." He saw Emmett swallowing hard and he did so too. "It's confusing… Loving two people at the same time. But there's something I know for sure."

"What's that?" Emmett asked hesitantly.

"We will never really move on if we don't have closure."

They both sighed.

"The first time I said the words, I was apologizing." Edward explained slowly. "The second, I was justifying my need of you." Emmett nodded. "I never had the chance to say it just because I was simply feeling it."

Emmett averted his eyes, his heart beating out of his chest as he felt a mix of fear and urgency.

"Can I say it?" He heard Edward ask.

"It won't change anything, and you know it." Emmett said, controlling his voice when his eyes met Edward's again.

"Can I just say it?" Edward asked again, even more softly.

Giving in, Emmett nodded after a sigh.

Edward got closer, unaware of Emmett's shaking hands and sudden vulnerability, and rested his hand gently on the big guy's cheek.

"I love you." He whispered, his gaze intense.

"I wish it was enough…" Emmett replied in the same tone. "I love you too."

And then, for a while, they just remained locked in each other's stare…

Edward knew what he wanted to do, what he needed to do next in order to really end that one chapter of his life, and he believed it was the same thing Emmett needed as well.

"You can stop me if you want to." He said as he carefully held Emmett's face between his hands.

"I won't." Emmett murmured when Edward leaned in.

"I want you to be happy, Emm." Edward told him tenderly, inches from his lips.

"That's what I want for you too." Emmett replied just before their lips connected.

They kissed slowly, softly, their hearts in sync, feeling simply the love they shared and letting it take them for one last time…

It didn't last long… It was, after all, a goodbye kiss… The closure they had never really had and, therefore, bittersweet, and as hurtful as it was tender and needed.

Once it was over, Emmett and Edward joined their foreheads for a moment before opening their eyes…

Emmett hastily pulled away from Edward when he did so, staring hard at the living room door with a rigid countenance.

Edward immediately felt his whole body going cold, and he turned his head slowly, deducing with heavy dread what, or better saying, who, he would see standing behind him.

He didn't notice the air leaving him in a gush, but he was utterly aware of his heart dropping once his eyes met Jasper's.

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A/N: Just one more to go... Let me know your thoughts.