Chapter 24
Georgiana had worried that after the novelty of living aboard a ship had worn off, Caroline would become bored with life upon her namesake and therefore more difficult to manage. After a month aboard the frigate, however, she remained just as enamoured with shipboard life, for which her mother was grateful. It had helped that the seamen continued to produce little treasures for her, and these had begun to become more elaborate: a cup and ball, several peg-tops, and even a complete carved game of ninepins – surely a group effort – had been among her treasures in the past fortnight. Marley, the Caroline's carpenter, had even made her a pretty new box in which to hold all of them. Marley had replaced Moll's husband, Taylor, who had been a mere acting carpenter during the Caroline's journey to China, and although everyone had long since ceased begrudging Marley of this – he being both amiable and competent – he clearly understood that it never hurt to undertake such tasks as would earn him further goodwill.
Of her newest toys, the cup and ball was best at keeping Caroline occupied, because she had never once managed to succeed in landing the cup in the ball with her present coordination, but every failure only made her more determined to succeed. Thus she was walking about in a little circle on the quarterdeck, making continual endeavours, and Georgiana was watching her with some amusement. She looked down the deck and caught Simmons, captain of the mizzentop, watching with equal amusement; they shared a brief glance, and Georgiana smiled slightly to him, thinking it possible he had been the maker of the toy.
Catherine and Captain Ramsey came over to stand with her, and Captain Ramsey said, "Have you got it yet, Little Miss?"
"No-o-o-o," said Caroline, without ceasing her efforts.
"I'm sure you will get it soon," said Catherine encouragingly, although it was not likely Catherine was correct, for in addition to the inherent challenge of the game for a two-year-old child, the breeze had been freshening for some time, and seemed to be growing stronger still.
Caroline made no response, merely continuing on with her next attempt.
"I only hope they make her a more difficult toy when she does finally master this," murmured Georgiana, and they all chuckled.
"Fine day," said Captain Ramsey. "We'll have the fastest passage I've ever seen, if it keeps up like this. Matthew won't like that ta'gallant studdingsail, though. Should have come in long before now."
"Shall you tell him?" asked Georgiana.
"Nay. I am a passenger, and if I aim to remain a passenger who is good friends with your husband, I must say nothing of it, and neither should you. They'll lose the sail, and likely the yard. The officer of the watch will be called to task for it, and hopefully he will learn."
The officer of the watch was of course Osborne, and Georgiana thought that if he had not learned by now, he was not likely to from this incident. Her initial impression of his competence had not changed since his early days aboard the ship, and it appeared they were due for another demonstration of his lack of seamanship. This was the first time she had seen him leave a sail on for too long; usually he shortened sail well before Matthew thought it necessary, and the Caroline would be in the midst of an even swifter passage, if not for this. It seemed Matthew's encouragements to trust in the ship's abilities as a swift sailer even at her present age had finally borne fruit, but with a man who lacked the necessary seamanship, this had resulted in an overcorrection. Georgiana considered surreptitiously ignoring Captain Ramsey's advice and going down to tell Matthew of what was happening, but it was one thing to intervene when a man was being abused, and quite another to tell Matthew of a problem with the sails that – at present – was not readily apparent to Georgiana. She had some idea of the names of the sails, but could not specifically identify the topgallant studdingsail.
It became identifiable not a quarter-hour later, however, when the bosun relayed the command to take in certain sails and one of them broke loose, waving like a pennant in the wind. After this, Lieutenant Osborne went to stand at the base of the mast and scream at the seamen aloft to get about it, although he did not command the bosun to have anyone started; Matthew had enforced that particular lesson successfully. The sail streamed out in the wind for some time and then came a rending crack as yard and sail both came loose, the seamen frantically producing pocket knives to cut the rigging so that both could go flapping overboard, momentarily catching the wind like a kite and then eventually splashing down into the ocean behind the Caroline. Osborne watched this – as they all did – and looked momentarily stricken before his face hardened and he said, "I'll have the names of everyone involved in taking in that sail."
Midshipman Ashton was on watch this time, and he was either young enough or well-placed enough as the son of a baron to protest: "But sir, the command – "
"Thank you, Mr. Ashton, later I will request an account of what caused the loss from the officers involved, but for now let us see to the repairs in the rigging," said Matthew. When he had come up on deck Georgiana could not say; Lord Stretford was with him, but she suspected they had not come up for a simple airing, for surely the shouting could have been heard from within the captain's cabins.
Matthew strode over to the bosun and spoke to him of the repairs needed for the rigging, then indicated that Travis should be sent for to take over as officer of the watch, and Lieutenant Osborne and Midshipman Ashton should come to the great cabin to meet with him.
Travis appeared, Matthew and his other officers went below, walking past Lord Stretford, who eyed them all with a placid but knowing countenance. He walked over to where Georgiana and the Ramseys were standing upon the quarterdeck and then looked to Caroline, who had continued in her attempts at the cup and ball through all of this, still with no success.
Caroline made no acknowledgement of his presence, nor did she appear to notice when Lord Stretford said, "She has her father's determination."
"That she does," replied Georgiana.
Excepting the evenings Captain Stanton and his wife were invited to dine in the wardroom, the Stantons and the Ramseys all dined in the great cabin together. Often some of the ship's officers and Mrs. Travis were included, but sometimes they remained a small, family party. These evenings were usually Georgiana's favourite, but on this evening her husband was clearly not attuned to company, and this was more evident with fewer people to help carry the conversation. Even Lord Stretford seemed contemplative, and so she was thankful that the Ramseys seemed to sense the moods of the others and endeavoured to introduce various topics and speak on them.
She gazed at Matthew, thinking about the incident with the sail. Georgiana had been right to worry about introducing a new lieutenant just before the Caroline sailed, had been right to worry that Osborne was following after Lieutenant Holmes and Lieutenant Coombs, those men who had caused Matthew so much grief and strife. Why was it, she wondered, that he could lead so many others, and yet seemed always destined to struggle with one of his subordinates every time he sailed. Much of what he struggled with was incompetence, she knew, yet he had no difficulties with midshipmen, who must of course join their first ship quite incompetent in their duties. Midshipmen were young, though, young and ready to be moulded into officers – and those who showed themselves to be lacking in promise could be left ashore on a ship's next cruise. The same did not apply to lieutenants, whose assignments could be influenced by Matthew, but not determined by him.
There being no separate drawing-room to retire to, the entire party rose from the table together to allow the captain's servants to clear it, then fold it up and move it to the side of the great cabin. The sofa and chairs were then moved to the centre, and they could all be seated again, Hawke coming around to the gentlemen with port and brandy. This was the point in the evening where someone would usually ask Georgiana if she would play for them – and on this night she was quite eager to escape into her music – but Captain Ramsey altered this by saying,
"May we have some music again tonight? Perhaps a duet? It has been ages since I have heard the two of you play together."
It had been ages since Matthew had played at all, with or without his wife. While he had generally improved since the Icarus – save the troubles with Lieutenant Osborne – he had not returned to his cello. Georgiana looked at him anxiously, hoping he would agree to play, but was not at all surprised when he said,
"I am too far out of practise to play, so I fear I must decline."
"In the wardroom of the Foudroyant I heard every possible scrape and screech you could make on that instrument, my friend, and surely you cannot be that bad. Practise before us – we are all family," said Captain Ramsey.
"Perhaps I am not that bad," said Matthew, "but I am not capable of keeping pace with such a proficient as my wife. I think we would be much better entertained with just her to play – if you would wish to, Georgiana?"
Georgiana nodded and rose to go to her pianoforte, not wishing to allow Captain Ramsey to press her husband further, although she thought he did it with good intentions. She was not of a mood to play most of her usual pieces, and kept to light, short songs, which was for the best, for after a quarter-hour the sound of William's crying could be heard, and shortly after this Mrs. McClare knocked on the cabin door and said he had need of his mother.
It was this, more than anything else, that improved her mood. Sitting in the sleeping-cabin with a child at her breast could not but remind her of that voyage back from China, of being a new mother – a new, exhausted mother, but one so cosy and content with the child she had finally been blessed with. She had two children, when once she had thought she would never have any. She had a husband, when once she had thought him gone. Perhaps it was wrong to wish for more, when she had been so blessed – more blessed than the Ramseys, who occasionally let slip some evidence of the pain their continued childlessness had wrought.
Still, when the adults had vacated the great cabin and the children, Mrs. Nichols, and Mrs. Taylor were installed there for the evening, when Matthew entered the sleeping-cabin and absently kissed his wife, Georgiana did ask for more.
"Why do you never play?" she asked softly, grasping his arm.
"I – I do not know that I have the heart for it, Georgiana. I began on the instrument because my uncle purchased it for me, and I kept at it because I wished for his praise. As I improved, and as I had a chance to hear music performed, I came to a love of it, but that was not the real reason why I continued to play."
"I don't understand," Georgiana whispered.
"Music is – it is civilisation. It is the greatest thing that civilised society has ever created, and in a time of war, it was my reminder that man is capable of better things than killing his fellow man because they each swear allegiance to a different country." He bit his lip. "But after I saw what I saw on the Icarus, I – I lost my faith in man's capacity for civilisation. I saw the worst humankind is capable of."
"Is that not all the more reason to return to music? To remind yourself of the best?"
He kissed her cheek. "That is what I have you for, dearest."
"I miss it, though – I miss playing together," she said tremulously. "I miss that connection we used to have."
He sighed. "If you wish for us to return to our duets, I will try. But I do need to practise first – I meant what I said about playing with such a proficient as you."
"I was out of practise too, though. When I – when I thought I had lost you, I could not play, knowing that I would never hear you beside me again."
He kissed her again, this time on the lips, although it was soft, gentle, light. "Knowing that, dearest, I must endeavour to play again. Give me time, and I will try."
Georgiana nodded, and climbed up into her cot. The side had been let down so that it could be connected to Matthew's, but this mattered little beyond the reassurance of Georgiana's presence, for they slept chastely. Their duets were not the only connection Georgiana missed, but while she had found a way to broach the music, she felt it would be harder to broach their lack of marital intimacy.