We assume that 7-02 through 7-16 play out in this timeline the same as they do in the show as-is. That's right - the break-up, and the reasons for it, still happen. I know those aren't favorites for some fans, but I really do think that Hyde regressing under the pressures of life, Jackie wanting commitment, and the resulting break-up are all plausible. The J/H material in the following episodes is also pretty good, and some of the better writing of the season. The execution was sloppy in places, and there are individual jokes I don't like, but I just couldn't justify adding additional episodes to my rewrite list based on those patches when I think the overall story is solid.
What isn't solid is the way that Jackie and Hyde get back together, which is ridiculous on multiple levels. That brings us to this episode, and this partial rewrite that covers all of their scenes...
INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – DAY
A truncated gang hanging out. HYDE reads in his chair, JACKIE reads on the couch, and KELSO and FEZ rummage around in the shelves under the stairs.
JACKIE:
You know, Steven, it's great we can still hang out. We're kinda like Sonny and Cher. We're together even though we've broken up. I'm beautiful. You're weird-looking.
Seeing them talk, Fez nudges Kelso.
FEZ:
(whisper)
Look, they're talking. Maybe they will...
He mimes lovelorn expressions, a passionate embrace, and a vulgar make-out.
KELSO:
(whisper)
Nah. See, with Jackie, on the first break-up, you need a guy friend to get her back together with her man. Same goes for the second, which they're on now. On the third break-up, that guy friend becomes the new man.
FEZ:
(whisper)
Really?
(to Hyde & Jackie)
So, are you two ready to kiss and make up?
Kelso slaps Fez upside the head. He takes him by the shoulders and steers him to the stairs.
KELSO:
Okay, we're going upstairs. We gotta... we gotta... we gotta take a shower.
FEZ:
Together?
He seems more intrigued than repulsed. Kelso shakes off any repulsion of his own and pushes Fez all the way up the stairs.
Hyde continues reading, but Jackie looks around the otherwise empty room.
JACKIE:
Wow. You know, I think this is the first time we've been alone together since, uh...
She trails off. Hyde doesn't look up.
HYDE:
Yeah.
JACKIE:
Well, maybe we can use this opportunity to touch base about our feelings.
That gets his attention. Hyde sets his magazine down and looks right at Jackie.
HYDE:
Or we can watch TV.
JACKIE:
Great! Oh, I love TV.
Hyde stands, flicks on the TV, and sits back down.
TV (aud. only):
Oh, Janie, it's so hard to be in the same room with you, because even though I'm a rough ne'er-do-well, my love for you burns like a fire deep in my soul.
Hyde looks to Jackie.
TV (aud. only):
I feel the same, Clyde, and even though we broke up because you won't marry me, I still hope that one day we'll get back together.
Jackie looks to Hyde.
HYDE:
What are the chances of that?
INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – DAY
Later in the day. Jackie and Hyde haven't moved from their seats. The soap opera is still playing on the TV; Janie and Clyde are still sorting things out.
CLYDE (aud. only):
Janie, we couldn't possibly get back together. Not as long as you insist on trying to plan for the future, when neither of us can know what it has in store.
JANIE (aud. only):
Oh, Clyde, I know that's just your fear of commitment talking, and your lack of confidence in your own potential.
HYDE:
(to Jackie)
Is this from that public access station you work at? 'Cause this is starting to sound like one of those lame romance plays you wrote for your English project.
JACKIE:
No. But whoever wrote this obviously knows what they're talking about.
JANIE (aud. only):
You've let a lifetime of poverty and rejection beat any expectations for life out of you, and now you're letting fear and pride drive away your one chance at happiness, you scruffy drifter!
JACKIE:
(points to TV)
See?
Hyde shifts in his seat, avoiding Jackie's smirk.
CLYDE (aud. only):
What would anyone so young and so swept up in their own fantasy world know of life and happiness? Your wealth and your demanding nature have won you everything in life, but you won't make me fall to your whims so easily, you spoiled brat!
Now it's Jackie's turn to shift, and Hyde's to smirk.
HYDE:
You called it, Clyde.
JACKIE:
Oh, like he knows what she's thinking.
HYDE:
Oh, and you do?
JACKIE:
Well, you don't. You don't know what anybody's thinking, because you never listen.
HYDE:
Hey, maybe if you talked about something other than how to keep your hair from getting tangled up in hoop earrings, I might pay attention.
JACKIE:
(beat)
That was a segment on my show last night. Have you been watching my show?
HYDE:
(beat)
No... Mrs. Forman was watching. I was just in the room. For thirty minutes.
He pointedly avoids Jackie's touched look, keeping his eyes locked on the TV.
INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – NIGHT
Is this the longest soap opera ever, or what? Clyde and Janie are still arguing, and Hyde and Jackie are still watching.
JANIE (aud. only):
You reckless, immature man!
CLYDE (aud. only):
You mad, impulsive woman!
JANIE (aud. only):
We can never be together!
CLYDE (aud. only):
I've never agreed with you more!
Slowly, Hyde and Jackie turn to look at each other.
JANIE (aud. only):
Oh, Clyde, I didn't mean it!
CLYDE (aud. only):
Neither did I, darling!
Hyde and Jackie's heads snap back to the TV.
JANIE (aud. only):
Your uncouth manners and run-ins with the law may disturb my family, and may have frightened me when we first met, but I've seen the diamond in the rough. I've never had a wiser teacher, a more tireless protector, or a more passionate lover.
CLYDE (aud. only):
And your life of privilege and entitlement may make you a symbol of everything I rebel against, but you're not the shallow socialite you claim you want to be. You are the truest friend my stepbrother Alec's fiancée has, and no one has been as open, as honest, or as loving to me as you have.
While their heads remain turned to the TV, Hyde and Jackie's eyes flick to each other.
JANIE (aud. only):
But you still refuse to marry me!
CLYDE (aud. only):
And you still can't accept what we have now!
JANIE (aud. only):
Oh, Clyde, how can we get past this? How?
CLYDE (aud. only):
HOW?
Hyde and Jackie lean forward in rapt attention.
ANNOUNCER (aud. only):
Will Janie and Clyde find their way back together? Or will they remain forever divided by fear and pride? Find out next week on MOON OVER TIP TOWN!
Hyde and Jackie fall back into their seats, deflated.
Fez bursts out from the shower and leans against the back of the couch. He is so focused on the TV, he doesn't even notice the jump he gives Hyde and Jackie.
FEZ:
NO! Next week? I cannot wait that long!
JACKIE:
Fez? How long have you been in the shower?
FEZ:
I snuck in fifteen minutes ago when Janie and Clyde had the fight about the nurse.
(sniffles)
Oh, how am I supposed to find out how to get you two back together now? And who knows when they'll get to the storyline when you break up again?
(looks up to God)
When? When is it Fez's turn?
Halfway to tears, he turns and runs up the stairs. A baffled Jackie looks to Hyde, who just shakes his head and stands to turn off the TV.
INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – NIGHT
Hyde and Jackie are still in their seats. The TV is off and the magazines are on the coffee table. Only awkward silence pervades, until:
HYDE:
(sighs)
Much as I'd like to let the psychic soap opera do it for us next Friday, maybe we should talk, man.
JACKIE:
Why? Nothing's changed. Nothing but...
HYDE:
But what?
JACKIE:
But... well, I thought I couldn't be with you if you wouldn't commit, but I hate being without you either. I don't know how we can get past this.
HYDE:
(beat)
You know, Forman and Donna are doing that thing where they don't talk about what they are. You know, no labels.
JACKIE:
Steven, I'm not Donna. I'm all about labels. Perfect nails, best legs, shiniest hair – that's just three that fit me like glove. But I also want to know what we are, or at least what we're going to be in the future.
HYDE:
Can't that wait until the future gets here? Man, you're still in high school, you've just started your show, you don't know where it's going, and I'm still new to this record store thing. We're not going anywhere in a hurry.
JACKIE:
Things aren't going to be like that forever, Steven.
HYDE:
Well, until they change... I mean, I'm not doing great without our weekly bedroom tiff-and-tumble either.
JACKIE:
Those are hot.
(sighs)
Okay.
She gives Hyde a small smile, and he gives it back. Jackie takes his hand in hers, then crosses over to his lap. They begin to make out.
Fez appears at the top of the stairs. Seeing Jackie and Hyde go at it, he looks up to God.
FEZ:
And they get back together on their own? If they didn't put on such a quality show, I would curse you!
He shakes his head and pouts, even as he turns back to the lovin'.
FADE TO BLACK
Those of you who follow the Zen3to5 Tumblr may have seen 7-07, "Mother's Little Helper," on the list of episodes getting re-written. It was; things didn't work out, so it got cut from the line-up. I consider that a failure on my part; one thing about the set-up to Jackie and Hyde's break-up that I don't like is that Jackie's desire for commitment and adulthood, while plausible, only pops up when it's needed for the plot. The planned 7-07 rewrite would've ditched Jackie and Donna's fight storyline (a really terrible running gag) to provide some build-up to Jackie's attitude in "Winter" and "Don't Lie to Me." But 7-07 was the last episode I put on my list. Everything else had at least been outlined, if not in a drafting stage for key scenes. When it came time to sit down and actually work on 7-07, events in my personal life made enthusiasm for one more episode hard to come by. Working, as I am, on a self-imposed deadline for this project, I had to cut 7-07 to press ahead and finish what I'd already planned.
Bottom line - if this section of the rewrite feels lacking, with how little has been changed, there's some reason behind that, and I apologize. Hopefully, what's to come is satisfying for everyone who's been reading along - and I appreciate all of you who have, very much.