You are all very interested about Renee. Well, here she is!

Hereafter
Chapter 23

November 26th, 2018
Bella.

"Oh, Bunny - my sweet girl!"

My mother wrapped her arms around me as she continued to call me the nickname I was given as a baby. The only thing that felt somewhat comforting was the smell of her perfume. She has worn the same one for as long as I can remember, and it will always remind me of my mom. As horrible as it sounds, she was the last person that I wanted to see right now and I hoped that my physical shaking would tell her that.

"My sweetheart, you're shivering. You must be freezing!"

Of course not.

Without saying another word, Renee shrugged off her jacket and cuddled it tight around my shoulders. I caught Charlie's attention by simply looking him straight in the eye, and he was quick to pick up on my brewing panic. "Renee," he spoke slowly as he retook his original seat. "Can I ask what you are doing here?" Normally, in this situation, you shouldn't have to ask that question, but seeing as I haven't seen Mom in almost four years, her arrival came as a bit of a shock.

"I'm here to see my Bunny, of course! As soon as I heard the news I got the first flight out here." She continued to cuddle me, and if I had the ability to talk I would have said that her embrace really wasn't helping right now.

Before Charlie could ask any more questions, my phone vibrated loudly against the wooden table. "It's Edward," Charlie told me after picking up my phone. "Do you want me to talk to him?" I barely even had to nod before Charlie had the phone against his ear. "Hey, Edward." He answered politely. "You haven't called at a bad time, however Bella is… non-verbal at the moment, so I'll have her phone you later, okay?" He paused for a second as he listened to whatever Edward was saying. "No, no - it's nothing to be concerned over. I promise you that she is okay. She'll talk to you later… Okay, thank you, Edward."

I really wanted to talk to him, and to reassure him that I was 'okay'. I could imagine he was going crazy not knowing why my barrier had formed again.

"Who's Edward?" Renee asked with a sly grin. "Is he your boyfriend, Bunny?"

Of course any mention of a male name and my mother will instantly think that he is my boyfriend.

And stop calling me Bunny!

"Edward is a wonderful friend of Bella's. He has been there every step of the way through her recovery and we have a lot to thank him for." Charlie's subtle dig towards Renee went completely unnoticed, but I managed to catch it and it even made me bite back my smile.

"Sweetheart, you've barely said one word to me since I arrived!"

Actually, Mom, I've not even made a single sound since you arrived. Surely that should tell you something?

"Renee, Bella no longer talks. I would appreciate it if you didn't force her into anything right now."

I love my Dad so much.

"Oh, don't be silly, Charlie! Our daughter is the biggest chatterbox - even you know that!"

"Actually, my daughter has been through an incredibly traumatic event which has left her mentally and physically scarred. Perhaps if she is comfortable around you, you will hear her talk, but for now I will be her voice."

It has been twenty-odd years since they last saw each other, yet they still fight like cat and dog. The confrontation towards my parents did not sit well with me, and my tap against my thigh had Luna move from under the table to complete her duty. As soon as the large dog stood up on her hind legs, and covered my lap with her paws, Renee practically jumped back in shock. The best thing about all of that - Luna is still growing. She's only going to get bigger.

"Renee, meet Luna - Bella's service dog."

"S-service dog?"

"Yes. A service dog."

"But… but why? You're not blind are you, Bunny?"

If only she wasn't standing behind me, otherwise she would have seen the eye roll that just about had my eyes slip from their sockets. No, mother, I am not blind, but clearly you are. The letters 'PTSD' that were dotted along the entirety of Luna's leash must have gone unnoticed.

"Are you seriously that dumb, Renee?" Charlie voiced the exact words that I was thinking. "Perhaps I should spell it out for you. PTSD - or, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. You'll never see Bella without Luna. That dog is being trained to tackle any obstacles that Bella finds too challenging, and will sniff out a panic attack before it starts."

This topic was getting far too hard for me to cope with. I needed to leave and return to my music. And Edward - especially Edward. I nodded my head in direction of the living room, and Charlie knew exactly that I wanted. He didn't say a word as he stood from his seat to help me stand from mine. With his arm as my aid, and Luna on my right side, we made our way back to the comfort of my couch. I heard Renee asking what was happening in the background, but she didn't get her answer until I was settled and Charlie could talk to her out of ear-shot.

Once again Biffy Clyro played through my headphones, and once the relaxation had begun, I found the strength to pull out my phone and finally talk to Edward.

I'm so sorry. My mom just arrived and… I don't like it Edward. I thought it was you. I really hoped it was you.

Usually, if something like this happened, Edward would have been in his car in seconds, but I knew that that wasn't going to happen. He needed to stay there for now. I just hoped it wouldn't be for too long.

His reply caused tears to form in my eyes.

I wish it could have been me, I really do. I'm sorry that you're finding your mom's visit difficult, and I will always be here if you need to talk. Grab Luna, Plushie Nora and a blanket and make sure that you keep your mind safe. You can do this, Bella - you are stronger than you may realize.

I typed out three separate words, but they were enough.

I miss you.

His previous message caused tears to form. The latest had said tears roll down my cheeks.

I miss you too, sweetheart, more than you may ever know. Prove to me how strong you are, okay? You've got this x.

He left me a kiss. Edward left me a kiss and suddenly nothing seemed so bad anymore.

Both my parents stood by the door of the living room for a good ten minutes talking. I didn't know what they were saying, but the wild hand gestures told me that it was not a simple conversation. I had so many questions spiralling around my head that I wanted answers too, but I didn't want to write them down in fear of judgement. Clearly Renee doesn't understand my issues, and if I wrote down my words instead of saying them, who knows what she will think?

Charlie caught my attention with a wave of his hand. I slipped off my headphones so that they sat around my neck. Renee stood hesitantly a few feet behind him.

"It's time for your bath, Bells. Your mother has asked if she could help you with it. Is that something you will be okay with?"

No. No, that is not something I will be okay with. It was difficult at the start to allow Charlie to help me, let alone Renee who will no likely judge my now child-like body. Edward's words played through my head - prove to me how strong you are. I needed to do this for him. My bath usually takes ten minutes; that'll be enough time to prove to him.

After taking a while to think about it, I finally nodded and repeated the words 'everything is fine' over and over in my head.

As we ascended the stairs, I listened to everything that Charlie was saying - how I rely on the strength of other people and Luna to get me from room to room. That I need help in and out the bath, but that I have found the strength to wash myself now. Most importantly, he mentioned my mental state - I knew this already, however it still came as a shock to hear him say it. "Think of it as looking after a child - Bella is essentially a child again. Forget her age; twenty-five is simply a number now."

As always, I sat on the toilet lid, waiting for the bath to fill. Charlie checked the temperature of the water and scattered a spoonful of my muscle relief bath salts. We were advised to test this out, seeing as though my arms and legs are weak, but they still cause a lot of pain. These particular salts also helped to relax your body before sleep. I am still to see a difference, but I suppose they won't work for everybody.

"So…" I peered up to look at Renee and watched as she surveyed the very cramped bathroom. "The dog comes into the bathroom and everything?"

I couldn't understand why she had such an issue with Luna. Renee loves animals, so it isn't like she is scared of dogs. Why can't she accept the fact that this is my life now?

"Yes…" Charlie also had difficulty understanding. "Luna is working at the moment. Sure, when she isn't working Bella can use the bathroom by herself, but right now she is on look-out. As long as there is space, there is no reason why Luna cannot join Bella wherever she goes."

Before Renee arrived Luna wasn't wearing her harness and only had her leash on so that I could use her to walk with, but the second that I left the kitchen I clipped that harness back on. With the confusion of my mother's arrival, I needed Luna's guard more than anything.

Once the bath was ready, Charlie left us to it, but mentioned that he would be right outside as always. I took off my socks, my top, and stood to pull down my leggings; I only needed help when they got caught at my ankles. I had to give it to my mother - she was careful and allowed me to go at my own pace when it came to stepping into the warm water. We started washing my hair first.

"I haven't done this in such a long time." She spoke softly whilst filling up the jug and pouring it delicately down the back of my head. I sat in a curled-up ball, trying to hide myself as best I could.

Renee continued to talk as she gently worked the shampoo into a lather. "My life just about ended when I heard the news report. The only information we had was that a young woman had been taken from Forks. Phil told me there was nothing to worry about, but I had a gut feeling, y'know?"

She's still married to that guy, I see. Typical.

"I cannot even remember what happened when your name was announced. I was numb for several days. I found myself thinking over all of our precious memories together - vacations, road trips… all of them. Pictures of your childhood were scattered about our kitchen table. I relied on Phil to complete the simplest task because I no longer could do it by myself."

Oh, perhaps now you'll understand how I feel then.

Also, you were numb for several days? Charlie is still numb, and I'm sitting right in front of him.

I so desperately wanted to tell her to 'shut up'. Her words had caused pure anger to radiate my body, and she had no idea about any of it. I wanted to ask, if she was so concerned, why she didn't phone Charlie, or make the trip out here and help with the search? She mentioned thinking about our 'precious memories together', but this is coming from the same woman who kicked me out of the house when I was thirteen? Who chose to side with her new husband than her own daughter? I'm not one for cursing, but I didn't believe a single word of her bullshit.

"Oh Bunny, you're shivering again. Would you like more hot water?"

I wasn't shivering, I was shaking. I was doing everything I could to calm myself down.

I can't do this.

I need to show how strong I am, but not like this.

My throat began to burn and the acidity of my tears worked away at my eyes.

"There we go!" She cheered once all the shampoo had been rinsed from my hair.

I thought back to when I first met Rosalie and when she helped me take a bath. Her moves were so calm and gentle, she spoke through her every movement and made sure that I was okay with what she was doing. I didn't see any of that with Renee. Not once did she ask if I was okay, or if she was allowed to do a certain thing. Rosalie hasn't even given birth yet, but already she is a better mom than mine will ever be.

"How about we have a mother-daughter pamper day!" Renee rubbed the bar of soap onto a sponge and stretched out one of my legs. She never asked if that was okay, but she did it anyway. My body was stiff, and that should have told her that I was not comfortable with the action.

Her next words broke me and tipped me over the edge.

"What if I stop off at the store tomorrow and get you a pack of razors? I'm sure you will feel ten times better to have nice, smooth legs again."

My hands slapped down into the water, which made Luna jump up to the side of the bath, barking loudly for Charlie's attention.

"Bunny?" Renee asked, with confusion clear in her voice.

"Get out." Charlie forced and all but picked Renee up from the floor. "Bella, honey, you're okay." He dropped to his knees and placed both hands over my thrashing arms. The anger inside of me was almost too much to cope with. It didn't matter that Charlie was there to soothe me, my legs kicked and my arms swung regardless.

I wanted to scream, I wanted to shout, but the barrier wouldn't let me.

I panted and I cried.

I wanted this terrible nightmare to end.

"Look at me. Look at me."

After a few seconds of deliberating, I finally looked over at the warm, caring eyes of my father. He told me, with that look alone, that I was safe.

My thrashing stopped, and the sobbing began. As I fell into the side of the bath, Charlie caught me in his arms and Luna barked curiously.

I had taken two steps forward and one step back.

Everything was fine until she arrived.

She always made everything worse.

0-0

November 27th, 2018
01:01AM.

"You have to believe me! Why don't you believe me?" I screamed towards my mother. She rolled her eyes at me and continued doing whatever mundane task she was completing. "Mom, please!"

"Oh, for goodness sake, Isabella!" She turned around to face me with a look of fury plastered all over her. "It's like looking after a damn child."

With a huff I crossed my arms tightly over my chest. "I'm not sure if you have realized this, but I am still a damn child!"

"You're thirteen."

"Maybe you're right - I parent you more than you parent me, anyway." That may not have been the best line I could have come up with, but I said it before the filter could stop me.

Renee threw down the shirt she was in the middle of folding. "You should thank me for this wonderful life. Your father wouldn't even know where to start when it comes to being a parent."

"I bet he could do a better job than you! And that pathetic excuse of a man you decided to marry!"

I hate Phil. I've always hated Phil, and the last week proved it.

"Well if you are so miserable then leave! Go on - pack your bags!"

"Maybe I will." I stormed out of her bedroom, half expecting Renee to come running after me, telling me that she was mad and didn't mean anything that she said.

That never happened.

0-0

I jumped awake; my heart was pounding and I was covered in a sheen of cold sweat.

Luna must have noticed my nightmare and had bounded onto the bed to see what she could do. She licked my cheeks and tried to shuffle her head underneath my arms. When none of that worked, and I continued to pant, she decided to do the number one thing that she had been taught. Bark for help. No matter what the situation may be - if I have fainted, or if I have a panic attack, Luna knows to raise the alarm in hope that someone will hear her.

Thankfully the barks were loud enough to wake Charlie up, and he came into my room still clearly half asleep. "What's happened? What's wrong?" He asked in a panic.

I had a "n-n-nightmare."

"Oh, honey." Like with the bath, Charlie cradled me in his arms. "You haven't had a restless night in a while…" He didn't need to ask me what my nightmare was about, or why I had had one. We both knew who had caused it.

Where's "…Mom?"

He sighed deeply. "She said she has a room at Mrs. Copes' B&B." I don't remember much of what had happened after the bath, but I knew that Renee hadn't stayed for long after Charlie kicked her out.

Is she "…coming… back?"

"I hope not, but that is for you to decide."

I needed answers, but I wasn't sure if I wanted her to return so soon. There was only one thing that I wanted at that moment.

I want "…Edward."

"It's one in the morning, Bells, so there is a high chance he will be asleep right now. But we can phone him if you really need to?"

I felt like I would feel a whole lot better if I heard his voice, and he did say that he would always be there for me… so it shouldn't matter about the time, right? If Edward was here, he would have woken up, so a phone call shouldn't be any different. I just hoped that he heard his phone ringing.

Charlie located my phone, and after I unlocked it and found Edward's number, he held the phone between us. We had turned the speaker on so that we both could hear what was happening. It took a while, and at first I was scared that he wasn't going to answer, but finally he did. His voice was groggy.

"Hello?" I had a feeling that he hadn't read the screen properly, otherwise he wouldn't have questioned who was calling.

"It's Charlie. I'm sorry for phoning so late, but we could use your help right now."

"Shit… sorry. Is Bella there?"

Charlie smiled down at me, telling me that it was okay for me to talk. "…Hi." I whispered, timidly. I instantly felt bad that we had woken him up. Edward was clearly fast asleep, and I shouldn't have ruined that for him.

"Hey, sweetheart. Are you okay?"

I shook my head, telling Charlie that I had spoken enough.

"She had a nightmare and wanted to talk to you. We hope that this is okay?"

"Of course - I'm always available to talk, no matter what the time is. Do you want to tell me what the nightmare was about, Bella?"

If I could talk I would have said that it was a horrible memory from the past. It was the reason why I barely spoke to Renee and also why I came to live here twelve years ago. But I couldn't say any of that, so again Charlie had to take over.

"Unfortunately she won't tell me, but from the events this evening, I'm pretty sure it had something to do with her mom."

"I'm sorry that she has scared you, sweetheart, but you need to remember that you have your dad and Luna beside you. This dream cannot physically hurt you." There was a pause for a second, and I heard the shuffle of bedcovers from the other end of the phone. "One thing to remember, Bella, is that you have all the power in the world right now. Whatever you want or need, you're able to get it."

So… did that mean that he could come back?

I just wanted a hug and a smile. I wanted Renee to return to her miserable life in Phoenix, and I wanted Edward to return here.

I want "…you."

"I'm always here - you know that. If you really want me there in person, then I can be there tomorrow. Otherwise I will be with you as soon as my house is packed, okay?"

Charlie was quick to respond. He knew the real answer anyway.

"You stay where you are, son. As long as she can talk to you, that is what matters at the moment."

"Only if that is the best option."

Edward continued to talk for the next fifteen minutes. He spoke about how much of the house he had packed up, and how Alice and Jasper came over to assist him this evening. Apparently his large book collection is now in a box, and his bedroom is practically bare. We ended the call when all three of us yawned at the same time, but Edward made me promise him that I would call again in the morning, or at least send him a text message to show him that everything was okay. I agreed, even though I would have messaged him regardless.

After the call was ended, Charlie stayed with me and helped soothe me back to sleep.

Thankfully Renee didn't appear in my dreams again, but my living nightmare continued during breakfast.

0-0

07:37AM.

I had had a night of restless sleep. I didn't have any bad dreams again, but I felt myself constantly twist and turn and doing whatever I could to get comfortable. After Charlie had returned to his room, I had Luna jump up and lie on the bed with me. She usually sleeps on the floor, but I wanted her beside me. I finally woke up just before six, and already I had a message from Edward waiting for me. He was basically saying that he hoped I had a better night after my nightmare, and that I was to let him know if there was anything else he could do for me. My reply was honest, and straight to the point. I said how scared I was to see Renee again, but I needed the answers to my questions. I didn't mention the shaving part, only because I knew it would have made him angry. It definitely had the same reaction with me.

I mean, I get that the hair on my legs is not the nicest thing to look at, but why bring it up? James didn't exactly own a beauty salon, and picking up a razor is the last thing on my mind right now. Does it really matter if I have hair on my legs or under my arms? It clearly showed that Renee cares more about your personal image than anything else.

Once Charlie had woken up, he helped me pick out a simple outfit before we all went downstairs for breakfast. I was given the option of bacon and eggs this morning, but I turned it down.

For once, I wasn't very hungry.

Instead I asked for a glass of orange juice, and drank that slowly as Charlie enjoyed his large bowl of cereal and a black coffee.

"Luna's trainer is coming at ten, right?" He asked before taking a sip.

I nodded. What about "…Mom?"

"Your mom will be here at eight, so let me know if you don't want her in the house."

I want "…answers."

Charlie sighed and thought deeply for a minute. "Okay," he finally answered. "I will allow her to come in here and give you those answers, but then she needs to go." He scratched away at his heavy stubble. "Last night was too much for you, Bells - you haven't acted like that in a long time, and I wouldn't be doing my job properly if I allowed it to continue. I never should have allowed her in, in the first place, but I've definitely learnt my lesson."

With the twenty minutes spare before Renee was supposed to arrive, I made myself busy by writing down the questions that I wanted to ask. As I completed that task, Charlie made two separate phone calls - one to Edward, and one to Angela. It was almost like he wanted back up, incase everything went wrong again. They were both on stand-by, and promised to offer their hand if it was needed.

At exactly eight o'clock, there was a knock at the door.

Charlie had his game face on, and stood with his arms folded once the front door had been opened.

"Good morning, Charlie." I couldn't see her yet, but her voice carried through into the kitchen. Mom sounded interestingly chipper this morning.

"If I had my way you would be on the next flight out of here, but Bella wanted this. If you cause a single tear to roll down my daughter's face, you're gone. Get it?"

"I'm not here to cause any harm."

Really? Could have fooled me.

"You have one hour, and then you're out of here."

I felt my body tense up as Renee shrugged off her winter jacket and toed off her boots. I nibbled away at my nails, mostly out of stress but I was also interested to see if Renee would say anything about that. She hates it when people bite their nails.

"Good morning, Bunny! Did you sleep well?" I said nothing, and so she continued to take a seat at the table. "Oh, what's this?" She asked as she reached over slightly to take a look at the paper that held all my questions. I slapped a hand down onto the paper, silently telling her to leave it alone.

"Bella and I were talking this morning. She has some questions to ask you which she has written down and I will ask them one by one."

"I thought Bella doesn't talk?"

Hello, I am still here by the way!

"No, she does talk, but only if she feels comfortable around you." Another subtle dig which flew right over Renee's head.

"Before the Q and A begins, can I please say one thing?" Mom looked at both of us in turn as she asked us for our permission.

I didn't nod or shake my head, however Charlie mumbled a response of: "If you have to…"

Renee grasped both of her hands together on the table between us. "Sweetheart," she spoke softly. "I realize how difficult everything must be for you right now - you had your life sorted and then it was ripped away, but I just want you to know that I understand. I know what it is like to start over again, and I am here to help you. If you ever need me for anything then my phone is always on, and my front door is always open."

A deafening silence covered the room after she had finished her little speech. I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, so I didn't respond at all. I know what it is like to start over again - No. What Renee knows is what it is like to go through a divorce, move to an different state, and then remarry. Never in her life has she been kidnapped, starved, beaten and raped. She doesn't understand at all, and what angered me most is that she tried to convince me otherwise.

"Right then." Charlie muttered and thankfully put an end to our silence. "Are you sure you're okay with this, Bell?"

I looped the handle of Luna's leash around my hand. The tight squeeze helped me keep my anger at bay.

I wasn't okay with this, and I hadn't been from the start, however wanting and needing are too entirely different things.

I stared down towards the floor as I nodded my head. Charlie took my sheet of paper and cleared his throat.

"In that case, question number one…"

0-0

Okay, so you will either feel sorry for Renee, or you'll want to join me in the hunt to find her… I'll leave that up to you to decide.

Thank you for reading, please let me know what you thought?