Chapter 37
I stand outside his door, having a moment to myself. It is the middle of the night and he is surely asleep. I do not particularly want to wake him up, knowing he has been stressed but I would not be able to walk to my death without saying what I need to say. I open the door, and just as I thought, Leon lays on his bed, under the covers on this cool night. His blonde hair pushed up and light breath coming from his open mouth. I smile at the innocence on his face while he sleeps.
I saunter over to his bed, kneeling down next to him. My hand reaches out, gently rocking his shoulder to wake him nicely. He lets out a small grunt, eyes opening. He backs away, not yet making my features out in the darkness but he squints.
"Elena?" he asks, his voice raspy.
"Hey," I whisper back.
"What's wrong?"
"Why are you assuming something is wrong," I counter but then realise the foolishness of my question. I'm not waking him up in the middle of the night to make pancakes.
"Because I know you hate waking me up," he retorts. It is true, many times in the past I had been tasked with waking him, especially on hunts or lookout duty. I sigh, nodding.
"Arthur is alive and on the road to recovery," I begin, still not sure what I am going to say next. Leon sits up more, his hands grasping my own. I cling to them, heart thumping in my chest.
"So, the plant worked? Gaius found a cure," he questions, a smile donning his cheeks.
"Yeah," I nod quietly with a short smile, but it widens as I know what I am going to say. "Leon, I just want you to know that I love you. I really do." My confession comes from the heart and I stare into his eyes which light up. His smile turns into a Cheshire grin.
"I love you too. More than you can imagine." His lips find mine and I relish this moment, our final kiss before the afterlife snatches the rest away from me. He can move on to find a noblewoman, the one he deserves. He can't work all his life to get where he is for a servant girl to bring him back down.
"I'll let you go back to sleep," I tell him, letting go of his hands.
"Why don't you stay here the night?" he offers, opening up the bed covers to urge me in, but I shake my head, arguing against my own mind which is yelling at me to crawl into his arms and be warm and safe. But I won't be safe if Merlin is going to die.
"I've got to go help Gaius with Arthur, make sure everything is going fine," I lie. Leon nods dejectedly but understands. I kiss his forehead one last time, brushing away a blonde curl.
I close the door behind me, but instead of going back to Gaius' I enter Castor's room. He lays shirtless and horizontally across his bed. I shake his shoulder roughly, the boy needing more shock to wake than Leon. He snorts, cutting off his snores. His eyes open groggily, seeing me stand above him.
"El? You're back?" he asks, same raspy voice as Leon. I nod, sitting down on his bed.
"It's time for me to do it," I state, not wanting to say 'die' aloud. "Merlin bargained his life for Arthurs. The Prince is alive and well now, so I have to go and make sure I arrive on time."
Castor looks down, his forehead crinkling. He glances back up at me with sad eyes.
"Do you have to do it? I know you love Merlin but just think of what you're leaving behind as well," he presses.
"If Merlin dies, I die anyway," I remind him. "This way, one of us gets to live."
"There's no way to stop Merlin from dying in the first place?"
"To save a life you must condemn one, that is the way of the Old Religion. You have to have balance."
Neither of us says anything, just breathing slowly but his arms encircle my, drawing me to his chest. I let it out here, a sob tracking up my throat and into my mouth, covered by my hand. Tears fall quickly down my cheeks.
"I told him I loved him," I cry.
"I'm glad you told him. He's not going to take this well," he whispers. "And neither am I."
I hear him sniffle, holding back emotion while I purge it from my body. I sit for a few more minutes, my sobs turning into dry and red eyes which sting and a blocked nose.
"He deserves better anyways," I remark, scratching my forehead. Castor looks at me confused.
"What?"
"He deserves nobility. To keep his reputation and bring more power," I explain. "That's the way it should be here. I can't take that opportunity away from him."
"Leon doesn't care about that. He has worked hard to get where he is, you are not going to affect that," he argues.
"But I care," I exclaim. "I want to make sure he has the best opportunities. And other's care. King's are going to visit Camelot and what would they say if they saw one of the best knights married to a seamstress."
"Leon is above that. He would never let anybody look down on you."
I huff shortly, giving up on proving my point, useless now that I am to die anyway.
"I have to go. Let Torj know that I will miss him. He's too much of a pain in the ass to wake," I joke. Castor chuckles as well.
"He would probably throw a vase at you."
Giving the boy one last final squeeze, both of us accepting my fate I leave him and saunter back to Gaius' chambers.
I enter quietly.
"He's asleep," Gaius mutters to me. I thank him, walking up the short stairs to the boy's small room. I open the door and sure enough, he is lying on his bed fast asleep. Waiting for death.
I can't do anything until he starts to suffer so I sit down, leaning against his wardrobe and watch him for any signs of distress. I am scared initially that I will fall asleep, but I feel no tire, my heart still thumping loudly against my rib cage and my mind running through what seems to be my entire life.
After an hour or so, boredom silently taking me, and my legs numb I hear a small whimper coming from his mouth. I get up silently, crawling over to him. His forehead is sweaty, small patches of skin reddening and what looks like small blister beginning to form.
This is it.
I place my hands on his arm, ever so lightly to not wake him but the sickness which holds him keep him asleep, draining his energy. I open the channel feeling the energy flow both out of my and into him while in return I gain his. Like magic itself, the fever begins to calm itself, the blisters and red skin sinking back.
My throat begins to scratch and a headache form. Spots on my own skin redden and even a few small blisters form. It feels horrid and unnatural, but I cannot pull away until I have finished.
The channel closes itself and I let go of the warlock's hand, falling back to the ground and gasping for air. Merlin exhales deeply, turning away from me and still in a deep sleep but alive and no sign of illness.
I hold my hands up. The red marks grow along with them, and I feel them on my face as well. I hold a cough down, the fever beginning to take me. Stuttering, I open his door to leave but standing up has made my head feel light, my sight dizzies even though I am standing still.
"Gaius," I croak out.
The physician notices me coming back out. I don't have the energy to say anything else, my body weakening by the second. My legs fold underneath me, sending me tumbling down the stairs and landing at the bottom in a heap. Gaius runs over, assessing me. I stare up at him, to exhausted to move myself from the floor. Two emotions conflict inside me. One being ever so glad that I had done my duty, saving Merlin's life. But the other is being petrified of death now that it is upon me.
Gaius lifts me, pulling me over to the medical bed. He makes no move to wake Merlin which I silently thank him for, wanting to just go to sleep right now and lead to nothing more. He mutters to himself, moving about to find something to help me. He eventually finds what he is looking for, a small vial I had seen many times. A sleeping agent, that he usually makes for Morgana. There is nothing for him to do but help me through the pain. I open my mouth willingly, letting him pour the remedy in. It tastes sweet and I start to feel it within minutes, eyes forcing themselves close.
I take one last look at Gaius, sending him the biggest smile I can conjure before I finally fall asleep, scared but not alone.
The Next Morning
Merlin is not expecting to wake up, so when the sun hits his eyes, forcing them to open his sits up astounded. Patting himself down, the warlock assures himself that it is not some post-death dream and is in fact, reality. Maybe he didn't have to give his life for Arthur's, maybe the Prince was destined to live anyways so no life had to be paid.
He quickly puts on his clothes for the day a grin planting itself on his face. Almost jumping down the stairs he greets Gaius.
"Gaius! I'm alive," he announces.
The physician looks up from his place leant over a table. He had covered the girl's body gently with a sheet to hide her from the warlock's view and placed her on the far end of his quarters. Gaius mocks surprise and delight.
"Merlin! It's good to see you still walking," he cheers but his tone is off. Not that Merlin notices, too distracted by the thought of going to see Arthur again. "You should probably go attend to your Prince," he advises. Merlin nods, jogging out of the door.
Normally Gaius would be questioning why Merlin is still alive, knowing that the Old Religion does not give up on its price, but his heart aches knowing that sooner or later he would have to tell the boy. He moves the sheet back down off the girl's head. Her face is worse than before, blistering everywhere and a fever controlling her body. He pours a liquid into her mouth, one to help calm the fever but it is only to shorten the suffering.
Merlin bounds into the Prince's room. Arthur is standing, still in his old clothes and gazing out of the window.
"Good morning, Sire," Merlin greets. Arthur looks around, smiling at his servant.
"Merlin. You have some jobs you've been avoiding," he cheeks. "My armour needs to be cleaned, boots polished, dogs walked, chambers cleaned, and bring these clothes to Elena to be fixed," he demands. His face is set straight, but Merlin's astonishment breaks it. Arthur laughs, striding over and bringing the servant into a hug. Merlin clings back willingly but the Prince pulls away, a serious look back on his face. "No but seriously. You've been slacking and I need these things done."
Merlin gives a short laugh, grabbing the pile of clothes. "I'm glad you're alive. I need the job," he teases but he is true to the words. His job is to protect Arthur, something he himself lives for now. Arthur smiles kindly, silently thanking the boy.
Merlin leaves the chambers, heading to Elena's to drop off the clothes. He is surprised he hadn't seen her this morning, considering her and Gaius thought he was going to die.
"El?" he reaches out in his mind. He can still feel her there, but she does not answer. He can tell she isn't in her room, a slight tug pulling in the opposite direction, but he is still going to her room to put the clothes down. He could find her after. Maybe she is trying to keep busy.
"Are you there?" he asks again, but like only minutes before there is no answer. He bites the inside of his cheek, knowing the Elena has never not answered him before. He thought she would be elated to hear him talking.
He is near her room when four or so knights walk towards his direction, talking amongst each other. He recognises them all, particularly Leon who Elena is fond of and spoke about many times. One of them, a dark-headed man with curly hair – Sir Castor, Merlin believes – is staring at Merlin. Merlin's eyebrow twitches, quickly assessing himself to see if anything about him is wrong but he finds nothing. The Knight gives him a small smile but quickly drops it again. Merlin doesn't have time to smile back before they pass him.
He shakes his head, heading through the corridors to her room. He knocks but like expected there isn't an answer, so he lets himself in. Her room is bare for someone who has lived in it for two years, mostly filled with sewing tools and cloth but there is a lack of personal items. He places the Prince's clothes gently on her bed, keeping them folded. One last glance around the room stops him from leaving, a piece of paper on her desk lying unfolded although there is an obvious crease. Merlin has a habit of prying where his eyes don't belong but it is a habit that has saved many lives so he hasn't given it up just yet.
He grabs the paper, scanning it over. His eye catches the word Vessel and Meistr. The edges are torn, as though taken from a book and his mind reels back to the book Elena had given him a few weeks ago, some pages torn out at the end. He hadn't realised it was her doing. Merlin starts reading it from the start, taking it all its words. His stomach begins to slowly drop with each sentence, but it hits the ground at the realisation. If he had died, Elena would have as well.
She had never said anything, never given hint. Why has she hidden that from him? He reads over the part describing a Vessel's ability to heal when it all clicks. Why he is still alive. Why Elena isn't answering him. Does Sir Castor know? He had seemed to know something the Merlin certainly doesn't.
The paper drops from his hands, slowly floating to the ground by Merlin is already sprinting down the corridor by the time it lands of the floor. The warlock hasn't run so fast in a long time, gasping for breath by the time he reaches Gaius' chambers. He slams to door open, striding in and surveying the room once more. Where else could she be but here?
Gaius almost knocks himself over at the bang of the door, startled by the boy who is glaring at him. Elena lies down on the bed, still asleep and the physician has been attending to her prior to Merlin's appearance.
Merlin sees the familiar hair sprawled across the pillow and his fears become a reality. He swallows, not sure he wants to see but he quietly walks up to the bed next to Gaius. His hand covers his mouth to hold in a gasp as he sees her, covered in red blisters and wounds, sweat pooling at her forehead and neck.
"I-I…I didn't know," he stutters out. He can hardly breathe. "Do something Gaius!" he cries out, dropping to his knees beside her. He takes her hand, Elena's eyes opening slightly but close again shortly after. Gaius sighs, already resigning to fate.
"I can't," he tells the boy. "This illness is caused by the magic of the Old Religion."
"Please, Gaius!" Merlin begs, his puppy dog eyes wet as they look between the physician and his best friend. "I bargained my life to Nimueh. I didn't know…" Merlin realises this must have been her plan all along, for she had put up little resistance to him sacrificing his own life. He didn't think much of it then, but it makes sense to him now. He had almost died through the night, which would have killed her anyway but now she suffers herself, a price to pay for saving his life.
"Nimueh?" Gaius exclaims, recalling the history of the Priestess. "Merlin, I wish there was something I could do."
Merlin nods, letting go of her hand and standing back up. "I will make you better. I will," he promises her.
While Merlin goes down to speak with the dragon, Castor continues his day trying to ignore what he knows is happening somewhere. He saw Merlin walking past casually and he knew then that the boy didn't know just yet. Castor and Leon stand talking to another knight, but he isn't listening. Torj had gone off the training the newer knights while Arthur recovers. Castor wanted to see Elena but he wanted his last memory of her to be a picture of full health, not on her deathbed and he can't interfere because it would announce that he knows more than he should - a danger that could gt him and other killed.
And there is Leon, the poor man who has no clue that the girl he loves is either dead or dying somewhere. As they talk casually, the boy – Merlin passes them once more only he's sprinting back the way he came. Leon frowns, looking at where the boy just disappeared around a corner.
"Merlin was in quite a hurry," he comments. Castor hums in response. His friend should have a right to know but he would have to explain more than he is willing to and he shouldn't even know in the first place. He had to wait until Merlin or Gaius announced it to the Court.
Merlin leaves Arthur's chambers once again, letting his last words be telling the Prince not to be a prat. His life was the one struck in the bargain and he would be the one to die. It conflicted in his mind that Elena is supposed to die if he dies as well but the Old Religion is powerful, and he hopes it could break that connection through the bargain. Otherwise, it would not be balanced.
He goes into his room where Elena has been moved to, Gwen by her side.
"Gaius had to go and get some supplies. He asked me to keep an eye on her until you go back," she explains. Gwen is devastated at the sight of her friend, but she knows the Merlin is facing just the same, if not worse anguish.
"Thank you," the warlock murmurs giving a kind smile to his friend.
"I'm sorry," Gwen offers.
"No, she'll get better."
"I've tried to make her feel comfortable."
"You have such a good heart, Gwen. Don't ever lose that," Merlin tells her. Gwen doesn't respond, only giving a slight smile and leaving Elena in Merlin's care. The boy sits down at her side, but she still sleeps.
He leaves his room once he is sure she is fine, preparing to pack to leave for the Isle of the Blessed once more in the morning.
"Gaius?" he calls out but the physician doesn't answer. A small note, his name written on it sits clearly on the table. He opens it, recognising Gaius' handwriting. "No!" he cries. Not bothering to pack anything else, he rides out of Camelot immediately.
Gwen walks back through the castle, finishing her duties for the day. She will come back to help with Elena later, but she wanted to give Merlin some time alone with her. She holds a sniffle, a small tear down her face. But the serving boy runs past her, skidding for a moment as he realises it is Gwen.
"Gwen!" he shrieks. "I'm so sorry but can you stay with Elena. Gaius needs my help and it can't wait." Gwen nods frantically.
"Of course. I'll go back now."
"Thank you, Gwen." Merlin picks up his pace again as Gwen turns around to go back Elena. She worries about Merlin as well, her friend seeming frightened and lost.
Sitting by her friend, she attends to him just as she had Arthur only a few nights ago but now it is morning. It is an odd coincidence that two of her friends have fallen gravely ill in the same week, but both have very different symptoms. And Arthur was wounded by a Beast. As she wipes the seamstress' brow, she can hear a mumbled yelling from outside. She places down the bowl and cloth, opening the door to Merlin's room to see what is happening.
Arthur opens the door to Gaius' quarters.
"Merlin!" he yells, looking around but of course there is no servant to answer to him. Not even Gaius to tell him where his slack servant ran off too. He does, however, notice Gwen peeking her head out of Merlin's door. "Gwen? What on earth are you doing in Merlin's bedroom?" he asks incredulously. Gwen had been informed that nobody yet knew of Elena, Gaius had warned her to stay quiet about it, for some unknown reason. She suspects something going on, both men acting strangely but she didn't want to ask. The Prince, however, will find out one way or another. And Gwen couldn't let him believe something odd as a reason for her to be in Merlin's room.
So instead, she sighs, opening the door further. "I'm taking care of somebody for Gaius. He's had to go get some supplies and Merlin's gone to help."
Arthur shakes his head, rolling his eyes. "I appreciate all Gaius does but sometimes Merlin forgets that he's my servant first and foremost." He thinks for a moment of the oddity than the person is begin cared for in Merlin's room and not out in the usual medical area. "Who are they treating?"
"Elena," Gwen exhales, looking back at the girl. Arthur's eyebrows raise, walking forward to come see for himself.
"Elena?" he strides up the stairs to his servant's bedroom, and Gwen moves aside to let him through. The sight shocks him, not preparing for the ghastly image of the seamstress. Blistering and red face, signs of fever and disease all over her. If it were not his friend, he would be repulsed by the sight. "Why has nobody informed me?" he demands, although his anger is not directed at Gwen. Gwen shrugs, holding her arms.
"I-I don't know. Gaius wanted to keep it down low for some reason," she explains, making Arthur frown.
"Why? He can help her right? Why would he want to keep this secret?" the Prince questions aloud. "He brought me back from almost certain death, surely he can cure a fever and whatever is causing this."
"Gaius only informed me to do whatever I could to make her comfortable," Gwen insists, not sure what else to say. Arthur understands the implication of her words. He leans on the end of the bed, gripping the wood hard.
"What about her friends? Leon?" he presses. "The King. Shouldn't they have a right to know?"
Gwen nods, the internal battle of whether to agree with Arthur or follow Gaius' instructions. But Arthur is the Prince and his command wins out. Arthur is about to leave to inform those who need to know but movement on the bed causes them both to forget their debate. Gwen runs to her side, kneeling and brushing a hand against her forehead. Elena twitches, small convulsion in her hands, neck and feet. It spreads through her arms and legs.
"What's happening?" Arthur demands but Gwen shakes her head.
"I don't know," she whimpers.
As they begin to think the convulsion is going to turn for the worst, they stop altogether. An eerie stillness blankets the room. Gwen assesses Elena. Her hands running over her, shaking. She eyes the stillness in her chest. Her fingers find the crevice in her neck, awaiting a heartbeat.
"She's dead," Gwen mutters. Arthur sighs deeply, bowing his head. All he can think about it how it is now his duty to deliver this news. Gwen's eyes close shut, turning around so she can hide in the chest of Arthur who delicately wraps his arm's around the woman he is learning to love.
"I mean, at least this guy is closer to your age," a raspy voice mutters, referencing the time Gwen was comforted by Gaius when Merlin had nearly died. Gwen and Arthur look at the girl, Elena, who had been dead only seconds ago now pushing herself into a sitting position. "Oh, I can't believe you alive. I knew you'd come back," she says in a high pitched voice rooted in sarcasm and a rolls her eyes. "You'd think I'd earn that after all this," she teases. Gwen and Arthur break from their spell of disbelief. Gwen wraps her arms around Elena tightly, making the seamstress laugh. "That's more like it." She thinks for a moment more. "And don't tell Leon. He has enough on his plate," she instructs, making the prince roll his eyes and chuckle.
Merlin finally reaches the island, Gaius lying on the ground unconscious or dead he cannot tell. A large pain erupts in his stomach that sends him bent over, clutching at the area. He knows deep down that it is his bond to Elena, and it is not a good sign at all.
"Elena?" he tries again, still not receiving any response. The pain subsides, allowing him to stand back up.
"Stop!" he cries out to Nimueh who turns around with the usual confidence she holds.
"Back so soon, warlock?"
"What have you done?" he demands.
"Your dear friend gave up his life for you, I just gave him his wish," she taunts, gesturing to Gaius.
"Have you killed him?" Merlin can't bear this. First Elena and now Gaius. His heart is shattering at every moment.
"It was his wish," she states, tilting her head to the side.
"I bid my life for Arthur's, not Elena's or Gaius'," he argues, still hoping he can spare the both of them.
"And both of them chose to save you. What good friends you have indeed. The Old Religion does not care who lives or dies, only that the balance is restored. They new that."
"It is not the Old Religion that has done this. It is you."
"Come now. We are too valuable to each other to be enemies."
"No!" Merlin cries. "I share nothing with you."
"With my help, Arthur will become King."
"I will make Arthur King," the warlock declares, now seeing what he needs to do. The Old Religion doesn't care whose life it is. As long as there is one. "But you will never see that day. Ástríce!"
Nimueh is much more powerful than Merlin expected, completely absorbing his attack unharmed. She turns around, much angrier than she had been.
"Your childish tricks are useless against me, Merlin. Especially without your little Vessel anymore. I am a priestess of the Old Religion. Forbaerne! You, too, are a creature of the Old Religion. You should join me," the Priestess offers him one last chance.
"You think I would join forces with such a selfish and cruel magic? Never," he spits.
"So be it," she mocks. "Acwele!" A large bolt of fire and energy blasts Merlin, directly hitting him in the chest. He is flung backwards, landing on the ground and a small fire burning on his chest. "Pity. Together we could've ruled the world."
The Priestess turns, walking away but unbeknownst to her, the warlock still lives, the power in his blood saving him once again.
"You should not have killed my friend," he says. He casts up to the sky, a great power he had never conjured before flowing through him. He is surprised he can manage this without Elena nearby, the energy travelling further and harder than it ever has before. The clouds send down a lightning, full of raw magic that strikes Nimueh. Her whole being disappears into nothingness.
"Gaius! Gaius!" Merlin shouts, running down next to his friend, cradling him in his arms. "No, no, no." he closes his eyes, head tilting to the sky.
"Merlin," Gaius grumbles, eyes slowly opening. Merlin looks at him in a happy state of shock.
"Gaius. Gaius!" he breaks out into a grin realising he isn't delusional. "You're alive!"
"What did you do?"
"Nimueh's dead. The balance of the world has been restored."
"You amaze me," he cackles. "You've mastered the power of life and death itself. We'll make a great warlock you yet."
"So you believe in me now?" Merlin teases.
"Well, I would do if…" he looks up to the rain which is drenching them. "…if you could stop this blasted rain."
Merlin laughs, agreeing but does nothing to stop it. "Elena should be fine right? I mean, you gave your life for her then Nimueh took your place - all is balanced."
Gaius nods. "Well I didn't come here for nothing did I?"
Merlin reaches out to her in his head but it feels off, like there is nothing to connect to. Something is wrong. He feels for the bond, the knowing tug but there is nothing to feel for. It is just gone. But she has to be alive, there's no reason for her to be dead. Gaius came back and so should she. He thinks back to the moment he arrived, the pain in his body.
"Gaius," he whispers. "I think somethings wrong."
Gaius looks over the warlock, searching for what he means. "What is it?"
Merlin's eyes prickle, mixing rain and tear. "I can't feel her… Elena. I-I-I can't feel her Gaius," he cries, word jumbling together. "Why can't I?"
"I don't understand," Gaius says, not sure what to think. "She should be alive." Merlin shakes his head. "The world must be balanced," he insists.
"We have to get back," Merlin mutters, pulling Gaius to his feet.