Tw: once again food, and also refusal to eat.
"Let's tell each other secrets about ourselves. I'm gonna go first. I hate you," Peter said as he stared blankly at the med bay's wall and gripped the cast in his arm.
"I don't blame you," Bruce said while touching his head, which ached because of a mild concussion.
"At least you haven't eaten cinnamon," Clint said happily from his place in a bed, with a leg in a splint.
Tony sighed, looking down to the arm sling he had on and then at everyone else, who were in a similar state. "Drop it."
"No."
•××ו
The room was silent as Nick Fury strolled in looking frustrated.
"I wake up and, first thing I know, Earth Mightiest Heroes are already at war. Mind telling me why you all incapacitated yourselves?"
Peter hesitantly raised his hand. "I wanted cinnamon," he said with a small voice and a little guilty smile.
Fury facepalmed. He didn't even try to cover it, he just plain facepalmed.
"I hate all of you."
"That's what I said, too."
There was a moment of silence in which Fury rethought all his life choices.
"So, what are we gonna do about this?" SHIELD's director asked the Avengers.
"What exactly are you talking about? The fact that Peter here wants to do something so disturbing or the mess that we made out of the world after our little fight?" Bucky asked.
"About you all being idiots," the man replied. "Not you, Peter, you're an angel and we're thrilled to have you here."
No one questioned Fury. Peter smiled sheepishly.
"Then tell these idiots that they need to let the kid eat his cinnamon," Bruce said.
"Then tell these idiots that we can't let Peter do such thing," Clint countered, looking at Fury.
"Could you stop?" Fury snapped. "Look, you're making him cry! Come here, Pete." The dark-skinned man opened his arms at the crying teenager.
"They- they don't let me eat it, Uncle Fury," he said sadly. Fury glared at the entire team while gently stroking Peter's hair, with the kid's head in his chest.
"I know, Peter, but I'm gonna fix that," he soothed. "Right now," he added, looking at the Avengers menacingly once again.
•××ו
Fury tried.
He had given the team an hour-long lecture about Peter's happiness, but there was nothing that could be said that would change what puppy eyes hadn't.
For that reason, right after the meeting ended, Peter locked himself in his room.
The Avengers were surprised when Peter didn't come out during dinner. They left him alone after knocking in his door and getting no results. They figured he had just fallen asleep.
But then, the following day, Peter didn't leave his room during the morning, and he wasn't a person who normally slept in. With some concern building up, they tried to get him out, but silence remained constant on the other side of the door. Friday's assurance that the kid was inside and safe was the only thing keeping them from breaking down the door.
And then lunch time came around, and the Avengers all heard the first word from the kid in half a day, still through the door.
"Go away."
"What's happening, Peter?" Natasha asked. "Is everything alright?"
"I can't eat cinnamon and you're asking me if everything is okay?" he asked incredulously. "No, if I can't eat cinnamon, I might as well not eat anything at all."
"Little spider-"
"Stop."
"Peter-"
"Stop, I'm sensitive, Aubrey!"
When Peter used his most hated vine, she knew he was serious.
•××ו
"We need to get him out of his room, he hasn't eaten in almost an entire day, which, due to his metabolism, is like three days for him," Tony shared his concerns. "He even quoted the Vine." They all gasped.
"Shit, this is worse than he thought," Shuri said with a worried expression.
"If you all just dropped this ridiculousness..."
Clint shook his head softly, almost sadly. "We can't do that."
Tony stood up angrily and left the room.
Just before he left, however, he rephrased Peter's and Fury's wise words. "You all are insufferable."
•××ו
"Desperate times call for desperate solutions," Tony said somberly as he picked his phone from the dinner table that was missing Peter.
Everyone, from both teams, watched the billionaire with wonder, then gasped when they heard,
"Deadpool?"
•××ו
"You're telling me that my boyfriend is trying to commit cannibalism?" the antihero asked. Team no cinnamon grinned. "So now he's starving because these of these thick-skinned assholes?" The grins dropped.
"Oh thank God you're in our side." Tony sighed in relief and then looked at Wade. "I will regret this but- I might just approve of you having one date with Peter."
Deadpool shrieked excitedly.
"I take that back."
"Wait no- no-"
"SHUT UP," Sam shouted. "You stated the problem yourself, DP. Then why are you on their side?"
Wade shrugged. "A little cannibalism never hurt anyone. Plus, it makes Peter happy, and otherwise he'll starve." His eyes darkened. "The sky will fall before I let that happen to my Baby Boy."
Team no cinnamon chuckled nervously, but realized they were now outnumbered. They needed new recruits.
And Shuri knew the perfect people for the job.
•××ו
"What do you mean he was trying to eat cinnamon? And that so many of you encouraged it?" MJ asked in shock and worry. If she was letting feelings show, then the situation really was getting out of hand.
"Just what you heard," Steve said with an expression of worry of his own.
Flash (nice!flash because yes) stood abruptly. "What the hell, Carl?"
MJ and Shuri nodded along.
"We're not letting that happen."
Rhodey suddenly spoke up. "Of the teens I can understand, but you adults-" he made air quotes- "really need to let this go."
"Peter can't eat cinnamon's arm!" Thor exclaimed.
"It's cinnamon, for fucks sake," Strange complained tiredly.
"No!"
"Yes!"
And so another discussion filled the previously somewhat peaceful room.
"Let the kid be happy!"
"The readers will kill you if any harm comes to him."
"Guys, just stop."
"We can't!" Steve started with frustration.
He didn't notice the elevator that opened, nor the "Brother, we should-"
"We can't let Peter be happy through such perverse ways!"
Silence.
Loki stepped in, threateningly quiet. "What did you do? Why isn't Peter happy?"
No one answered.
"If none of you speak up, I swear-"
"Okay, okay! Chill! We're not letting Peter eat cinnamon, that's it," Sam admitted nervously.
The god inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself down.
"I might just have to stab someone."
•××ו
"We recruited someone else," Clint said from their side of the living room. "Someone that's coming from far away. If you haven't noticed yet, that means we outnumber you."
Tony raised a brow. "Really? We also recruited someone from far away. Which means that we're even again. And, if Peter joins this fight too, we outnumber you."
Team no cinnamon scowled.
Team cinnamon copied them.
Once again, the elevator opened. This time, Scott Lang came out of it.
"Hey, guys. I told Cassie there was an emergency and that I would be back in some days. This is something that can be fixed in a few days, right?"
Natasha smirked at the opposing team. She seemed almost amused. "That's the help from far away that you got?"
Out of the blue, someone flew in from the window.
"Stark, you said there was an emergency?" Captain Marvel said, standing tall in all her glory.
"Yes, it regards Peter. These idiots are making the kid sad by saying he can't eat cinnamon."
"But Peter-" Bucky started protesting.
Carol pointed at him and his side in general. "You shut up."
Loki smiled.
"Where's this kid?" the newcomer asked. Natasha was the one to lead her to Peter's room
As they left, Steve spoke up with a panicked expression. "When you said you recruited someone from far away I thought you meant like from halfway across the word at most, not the galaxy."
Tony shrugged. "My kid won't suffer because of you," he said simply, as if he hadn't called one of the most powerful beings in existence to get Spidey his cinnamon.
"Don't you know he's extra, Steve?" Shuri asked.
"True."
•××ו
Being half alien had its perks, like getting a cinnamon-deprived, sad and stubborn kid to come out of his room.
Just like everyone else, Carol fell victim of his innocent appearance and kind heart. Within minutes of knowing him, she'd do anything to make him happy.
Giving him cinnamon was undoubtedly included, so the three of them headed to the kitchen.
"So, what do you want me to make you?"
"Waffles with cinnamon, please!"
"Sure, kiddo."
Faster than was humanly possible (unsurprisingly) Carol prepared the food.
"NO," Clint stepped out of nowhere and took the plate out of the woman's hands.
Captain Marvel turned to him, glowering. "You did not."
Clint bravely resisted her threat. "I did."
Carol threw herself onto the man, trying to kill him. The rest of the teams were fast to dive right in into the fight.
On one side, there was Tony, Bruce, Natasha, Vision, Rhodey, Strange, Fury, Deadpool, Loki and Carol.
On the other side, Clint, Steve, Bucky, Sam, Wanda, Shuri, Thor, MJ, Flash and Scott.
It was complete fucking chaos.
The heroes that had participated in the previous fight were using their casts and splints to get revenge, while the rest basically tried to kill each other the way the others had before.
"Gotta unalive whoever makes Petey sad!"
"He. Can't. Eat. Cinnamon!"
"Shut up!"
Peter just stood there, perplexed, though he shouldn't have been.
"Can I get a waffle?"
A few screams, insults and threats from the fight were heard, but no reply.
"Can I please get a waffle?!"
As no one answered, Peter shrugged and turned to the elevator.
Peter calmly pressed the button, while the Avengers continued trying to kill each other behind him. He waited patiently, tapping his feet, as the elevator arrived, while the relentless battle continued in the kitchen. Peter left the tower, took a taxi, and rode to Queens in silence, with the fight still distinguishable as background noise.
Almost as if he hadn't just left Earth (and space) Mightiest Heroes battling each other over him, Peter entered his apartment.
"Hi, Aunt May! Can I get some cinnamon muffins, please?"
"Sure, honey. Here."
And Peter finally ate his cinnamon.
(Alternative ending:
"ciNnaMoN" peter cinnamoaned.
"NO"
":("
"YES"
":)"
Then team cinnamon murdered team no cinnamon and Peter rode his cookies to the other side of the rainbow)