As much as she has tried, Raven could never forget the dread of learning what became of her home after Trigon came for it. Everything she held close from her childhood was consumed by his wrath, all because she refused her birthright. How many souls suffered because Raven could not protect them from who she was?
She remembered feeling desperate for confusion...to have simply mistaken reality for a nightmare from which she would soon wake to find Azarath alive and well. Just as she'd seen it last in a distant dream. And though she defeated her father, subduing him to a harmless sliver of himself, Raven still felt the ache of losing her home deep within her chest, the only relief from which was believing the worst was over. With the white raven, she finally actualized that light that Azar always told her burned within, and never again, she thought, would that dread ever weigh so heavily in her heart.
Yet, years later, as she scoured the Tower's roof in the dark for her mother's necklace, Raven was furiously reunited with it.
She didn't even know which thread to follow. Nothing made sense between her pendant and the staff, but she knew, if the Crow had really walked the halls of that research bunker, coincidence just wouldn't cut it. What's worse is she may have just let her friends walk blindly into a trap that was set for her, and it was this thought that fueled her frantic search across the tarmac, crawling on her knees with only her phone's light to guide her, and this is how Garfield found her once he emerged from the elevators.
When he called out her name, her throat seemed to close with emotion, overwhelming her into a muffled sob. She sat back on her heels, dropped her phone, and covered her face as if that would keep him from witnessing her break.
He spoke gently as he knelt beside her, and she quickly wiped away the wet from her cheeks. His hand was warm on her shoulder, and she thought strangely how she's missed him in these small, unexpected ways. There was a time when being touched would put her on edge, but now, Raven found comfort in their quiet intimacy, and she rested her hand on his, thanking him for being there.
"I don't know why I thought," Raven paused to clear the bubbles from her throat, and Gar watched her kindly before helping her to her feet, "I know it's not up here."
"We can still look," Gar told her with vague confidence as he peeled off his shirt, and against all instinct, Raven turned away to give the changeling privacy as he stepped out of his sweatpants and shifted into a large, green bloodhound.
She knew her methods weren't nearly as effective, but Raven searched the ground beneath her phone anyway, giving up as she neared the roof's edge to study the dark silhouette of the city traced by the night's glowing neons. She folded her arms to retain body heat as the chilly autumn air nipped at her skin, and behind her, she sensed Garf shifting back to himself before redressing.
"Uh, after the storms...there's just not much to work with, I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Thanks for looking. I just," her throat tightened once more, "I can't believe I lost it."
Raven was initially surprised when his arm wrapped around her, but she readily sank into his hug to borrow the heat from his skin.
"You smell nice," Raven said once she noticed hints of lavender in his musk, and she was happy to find him smirking at the comment, but there was a pain in him that Raven wished she couldn't see. When Gar stepped away from her, she thought to pull him back, but then the elevators pinged, releasing Koriand'r and Vic onto the roof.
"Raven! What is going on? Are you alright?"
She assured Kori with a faint nod as they met her at the Tower's edge, and the alien abducted Raven's hands into her own.
"Victor has shown me the video of your attack, and how it has taken the stone your mother once gave you? That is awful, Raven, I am so sorry."
"Me too, Rae, that sucks," Vic said, offering a sympathetic nod, "but do you have any idea why it'd want your necklace?"
"It, uh, holds a memory of my mom's voice," Raven explained, her hand still reaching for the phantom stone, "so, I don't know why it would want it besides to bait me. But I'm the one who should be apologizing...it was irresponsible of me to stay behind tonight. If the Crow was there, I can't help but think it was hoping I'd come looking for it."
"You could not have known before seeing the footage, Raven," Kori reminded her.
"Yeah, I mean, we can't say for sure what's going on until we get all the facts."
"Victor is right," Kori said, "the footage does not show the obscurity beyond those few seconds, and by that time, the staff had been gone for hours."
"I think I'd like to go there...take a look around for myself," Raven said.
"If you think that would be helpful," Kori said warily, "then I will go with you."
"I'll go back. Gar, can you go with Karen and Roy to STAR's campus to meet with the Doc?" When Garfield nodded, Vic clapped his hands, "Alright, let's call it a night then, it's cold as hell out here."
"You guys go," Raven told them as they neared the elevators, "I need another minute."
"Eh, you coming?" Vic called out before Gar waved for them to let the doors close.
Raven had already picked up his disquiet when Kori addressed the security footage, but she grew more anxious with the anticipation of his quiet approach. She leaned her arms against the parapet and fixed her gaze ahead on the distant cityscape, trying to focus on the soft static of waves crashing along an abstracted shoreline. But his silence proved too distracting.
"So, this is the most attention I've had from you all week..."
Gar did not laugh or frown or offer any acknowledgment that she said anything as he rested his back against the parapet with folded arms. Finally, he looked at her.
"What are the chances of you actually telling me what's going on if I asked?" Raven held him with impatient eyes until he went on. "Why ask about bird noises if you didn't already think the Crow had been down there?"
"I had...a feeling."
"A feeling?"
"I've seen the cabin before," she said, staring ahead while she felt Gar watched her intently, "like in small flashes. I didn't think much of it at the time, but when I saw Cy's log of the lab entrance, it came back to me."
"You've had more visions?"
"No," she said quickly, her nervous eyes darting around him. "Just the one that night."
He gave her a strange look before bowing his head. "You mean the night before you told me not to make things between us more than they were?... That night?"
When she didn't respond, he straightened himself to face her more directly.
"You know, it's not even you lying that pisses me off the most... it's watching you just...try and deal with this by yourself like you're the only one affected. And I can't help but wonder if it's because you don't trust us, or you think we're completely useless or something."
"Gar, come on," Raven said curtly as she paced away from the parapet.
"You get this thing is messing with you, right? Like, whatever it did... you've been losing your grip all week," Gar followed as she walked further, "at the roller rink, in training...you know you can't deal with this by ignoring it."
Raven abruptly faced him. "What do you think I've been doing? You'd know I'm not ignoring it if you were so busy ignoring me!"
"Would I, though? You seem to be constantly leaving shit out..and like, don't you think that isolating yourself might be exactly what this thing wants?"
"Of course that's what it wants!"
Gar laughed bitterly. "What are you doing then, Rae?"
"You didn't see it, Garfield! You don't understand what I'm trying to protect you from."
"Help me then!" He yelled as he took hold of her, but she quickly broke free and pushed him away. A low growl ignited behind his barred teeth but promptly dwindled into a sigh of forced patience, after which he softly said, "Just...show me. Do the thing with your gemstone."
"What? No."
"Why not? It's fine, I'll handle a little motion sickness."
Raven scoffed, shaking her head before turning away again.
"Raven!" Gar snarled with an unkempt passion that startled her, "You're a stubborn fucking piece of work, you know that? Stop walking away and tell me why you're hiding-"
"Because!" Raven snapped suddenly, facing him with defeat in her eyes. Somewhere across the roof, the faint clinking of tin cans could be heard fumbling against cement. "I'm ashamed, maybe? Too stubborn to admit that even though we all thought Trigon's bullshit was over, here I am, still endangering everyone with my very existence?"
Her frown broke with soft laughter when she realized anxious tears warmed her eyes, "and that I have to look at you and tell you that I'm not this person you've dreamed me up to be and that I can't," she hated how her voice crackled with regret, "be with you...for own good? Do you think I want to do that? You think that's fun for me?!"
Gar approached her with open arms as if he would hug her, but hesitated and shoved his hands back into his pockets for an awkward silence that rivaled her staggered breathing.
Suddenly Raven wasn't so cold anymore as her blood boiled beneath her skin. At once, too embarrassed to look him in the eye and too overwhelmed to storm off, her body stiffened.
"Hey," he angled his head to force her eye contact, a smug grin across his face. She was first put off by his unseemly amusement, but there was something in his eyes that ultimately melted her scowl into soft, breathy chuckles.
"Listen, I know that's hard for you, but hear me out, okay? Real-life, right now...you ready?" Raven grumbled even as he took her face in his hands.
In a daze, she watched as he brought his mouth to hers, touching her with a resigned hunger, like he understood the risks but couldn't care enough to save himself. Taunting her even with the soft caress of his thumb across her cheekbone. The fever rushing through her veins thickened as Raven sank into him, jarred by relief within a single chaotic moment, so when he took his lips away, her eyes were slow to open.
"There's not some dreamed-up version of you that I'd want," Garfield murmured, still close enough that his words tickled her skin, "You're it, alright? And there's nothing either of us can do about it."
Flushed cheeks lifted with her smile, but still, Raven shook her head at him. "Wanna bet?" Gar humored her for another pensive second, and she nodded towards the elevator. "Come on, then."
"Where are we going?"
"Inside, genius," she said and kept walking.