This will probably be my only update for the next few days, sorry! Hope you enjoy :)

Chapter 25

"Can I uh... Get you anything?"

Nathan asked Haley, leaning back against the kitchen counter, crossing his arms.

"No," She answered quietly, looking at him. "I'm here for Macey, Nathan. Not for you."

"I know," He replied quickly, nodding.

"So... You can talk," Haley said, gesturing to him.

"Well..." Nathan ran his hand down his face. "I'm sorry, Haley. For a lot of things," He paused for we to speak, and when she didn't, he continued. "You know... I'd been arguing with Katherine a lot that week. We don't fight often, but that week... Well, I don't know if you remember but I was ignoring a lot of calls."

She'd always wondered who had been calling him.

"And it just reminded me of how it was when we were married, arguing about everything," He said, crossing his arms. "I moved here to focus on my work. But you came in... And you just messed that idea up. I was taking days off work, excited when my meetings got cancelled..."

"I get it," She said quickly.

"Right. Sorry," He said, letting out a sigh. "But you. God... You," He sad softly. "You were perfect."

Haley stiffened. Not so much at his words, but his tone. She met his eyes briefly, before looking back at the ground.

"Nearly every relationship in my life has been bad, Haley. I don't have a great relationship with my parents and they can't stand each other. They got divorced when I was a senior, and Luke had already gone off to school so I had to deal with them alone, one big huge custody battle that had not even been resolved by the time I turned 18, so I'd been tossed around from house to house," He said, shaking his head. "My relationship with Luke's wife Peyton was toxic, and we fought all the time, and then after we broke up she got with my brother."

She leaned forward against the island countertop, nodding at him slowly.

"And then I just decided that I'd have fun for as long as I could, and settle down in my thirties maybe," He said, running his hand through his hair. "Well, that didn't work out well because I got Katherine pregnant and we decided to get married, which was fine at first, but then things went south, like they always had in every relationship, and that didn't work out."

It made sense, it really did. He'd been surrounded by toxic relationships his whole life.

"I'm not trying to make excuses, Haley... But you deserve to know my thought process. It had nothing to do with you," He said, sighing softly. "It was all me, okay?"

"I don't know what you want me to do with this, Nathan..." Haley said, shrugging her shoulders at him.

"I don't want you to do anything with it," He said, sending her a small smile. "I just... I got scared. It's not like I wasn't already committed to you! You just wanted to pick up the kids together and it sounded so much like a relationship."

"But we weren't like that, Nathan," Haley said, tucking her hair behind her ear. "We argued, sure, but we talked it through. We weren't toxic, we had conversations. There's a difference."

"I know," He answered quickly, "I just panicked. And I just couldn't think of anything but the pain I'd feel if you broke up with me."

"Well I know the pain," She said, scowling at him. "I felt the pain. Macey felt it."

"I'm selfish, Haley, to sum it all up," He said, swallowing the lump in his throat. "And you deserved better than me. I really cared for you, so don't ever think anything less. But you deserved someone that didn't fear being with you for the rest of his life."

She nodded at him, sighing softly and tapping her fingertips against the counter top.

She had no idea what to say to him.

"I saw us becoming a family, and every family I've ever known has been a mess," Nathan said, lifting his weight up off the counter and stepping over to the island. He left a corner between them to give her the space she needed, but his eyes were intense on her.

"So... What now, Nathan? What happens now? Did you want me to run into your arms?" She asked him, shaking her head.

"I was hoping for another chance, Haley... I screwed up and I'm really, really sorry for that," Nathan almost begged.

His beautiful blue eyes were pleading with her.

Her heart ached because she wanted the man she was falling for three months ago to say all of this to her.

She wanted him to say that he was beaten and scared but he wanted to be with her despite that.

Three months ago.

"I think..." Haley looked at him, stepping around the island so there was not much space between them.

She still wanted to kiss him. Still wanted him to hold her in his arms. But he'd really hurt her, which was something she maybe could have forgiven, but more importantly, he really hurt Macey.

"No," She finally said, sending him a sad smile. "We already tried the whole friends thing, and then the relationship thing, and it didn't work out. You made promises to my daughter. You promised to take her to London, hell, you promised to let her swim in your pool all summer and those were promises she didn't take lightly."

Guilt flashed across the man's face, but he still didn't take his eyes from hers.

"You may have left me, Nathan, which believe me, was absolute hell for me. But you left her too. And I know in your own mind, you were doing what you thought was the best option, but you were becoming the closest thing she had to a father. And I know that word probably scares you, but she needed you. Didn't you see that the day she was suspended from school? Didn't you feel her love for you when she pulled you into a tight hug? Or maybe when she confided in you and not me? I'm all she's ever had for years, but she chose to talk to you," Haley said calmly, nodding at him. "So my answer is no. No second chances."

Nathan nodded slowly, shoving his hands into his pockets and finally looking away from her. "I know this means nothing, but I am sorry, Haley. Really sorry."

"Me too," She said quietly, taking a step away from him again. "But I think we're going to have to still let Nick and Macey hang out."

"Really?" Nathan asked, looking at her again. "I was going to ask if that would be alright with you."

"So you can drop him off at my house at four tomorrow if you want," Haley said, letting out a sigh. "And I'll bring him home."

"Okay," Nathan said, nodding at her quickly.

"And that's how it's going to be from now on, Nathan."

"That's all you want?" He asked her, raising one eyebrow.

"No. But it's all I need," She said, letting out a sigh. "I felt worthless, Nathan. I felt like you just wanted me for sex, or something like that! I knew it wasn't true, but that's how I felt."

"Haley..." He said, shaking his head quickly. "That wasn't it at all."

"I know," She said, sending him a sad smile. "But I just can't go through it all again with the thought of you leaving in the back of my mind."

"I've never felt the way I felt about you with anyone else before, Haley... And it scared me," He informed her, shrugging.

"Maybe if I didn't have Macey to think about then things would be different," Haley said, setting her purse on the counter, digging through it for a moment.

She'd borrowed Macey and Nick's to-do list for the two of them one last time, and then she was going to put it back and hopefully never think of it again.

Haley pulled out the folded up paper, opening it and setting it on the counter, sliding it over to him.

"Because they were too invested in us," She informed him, watching as his eyes moved down to the paper.

He read over it quickly, a frown forming on his face.

"Yeah," She said softly, brushing her thumb against the sloppy handwriting lightly.

"I didn't want to hurt her," Nathan said quietly, looking at Haley and shaking his head.

"I know," She replied, taking one last glance at the paper, folding it up and placing it back in her purse.

"Nick is going to be so happy to see you tomorrow," He informed her.

"I'm excited to see him," Haley said, clearing her throat and standing up straight.

"I don't know if I can give up on you, Haley," He said quickly, his hand shooting out to rest on her arm.

"You already did," She replied, scowling slightly at him. "Or did you forget?"

"I tried to call you every day. I didn't give up," He reminded her.

"But what was left to say, Nathan? If I had answered, and we'd patched things up, I'd always wonder if you'd do it again? I trusted you so much so fast. I trusted you with things I'd never told anyone, or are you forgetting that part of our break up?"

Nathan backed down at little bit at her words, dropping his hand from her arm.

She let out a frustrated sigh, threading her hand through her hair quickly.

"I'm not even mad about that anymore," She said, shaking her head. "I realized that you're different from Peter. You did what you did be cause you cared about me. You saw that I wasn't happy in my career, and you wanted to give me a nudge in the right direction."

He nodded quickly, looking at her. "I did, Haley. I really just wanted to show you that you're amazing," He said, smiling slightly.

She sent him a small smile in return.

She could feel that he meant it.

"I'm sorry if I've been hard on you tonight, Nathan..." She trailed off, clearing her throat.

"You're protecting your heart and Macey's," He said, shrugging his shoulders. "I'd do the same thing. In my own way I thought I was."

"Yeah..." She replied, sighing softly. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head quickly, frowning at her. "Don't apologize to me, Haley. I'm serious. I made you feel like you meant nothing to me. I don't want you to apologize to me."

"I guess it's my natural instinct," She replied, wrapping her arms around herself.

She could see him fighting his own natural instinct to pull her into his arms.

She still felt so connected with him. She could see his emotion in his eyes.

She wished she could let him hold her again.

But it would take a lot more than one conversation.

"I have to know something," He said, watching her closely to gage her reaction to the question he was about to ask. "Did you read the letter?"

"I did," She confirmed, looking up at him.

"Can I ask what it said?" He questioned, looking at her curiously.

"My novel is being released in October," Haley informed him, the smile returning to her face. "I guess I should thank you for that one."

He grinned at her, clapping his hands together. "Yes! I'm so excited to hear that."

Her smile grew at his reaction.

"I'm pretty excited myself," She said, nodding at him.

"That's incredible, Haley... Really. You're incredible," He said, leaning back against the countertop.

Her heart skipped a beat at his words. She couldn't control herself.

She missed him and that happy smile so much. She wanted him to pick her up and spin her around the way she'd imagine he would if they'd still been together.

"Thank you," She said softly, biting her lip for a moment before speaking again. "I better go."

"Yeah, sure," He said, following her to the front door and pulling it open. "I'll see you tomorrow, I guess?"

"Yep," She answered, turning to look at him for a moment. "Thank you, for not pushing me."

"I called you every day. I think I was a little persistent," He reminded her, leaning against the open door.

"But you never left a message, or called more than once..." She said quietly, nodding at him.

"I was scared if I pushed too hard you'd block me," He said, shrugging slightly. "You deserve better than me, Haley. I simultaneously hope you know that, but also that you never realize it."

She let out a brief laugh at his words, stepping out into the warm summer air. "See you tomorrow."

"Yeah," He said, giving her a small, slightly awkward wave, before closing the door behind her.

Haley got into her car quickly, not wasting another second at The Scott Household, pulling out of the driveway.

She drove for two blocks, before pulling off to the side of the road. She leaned forward, resting her forehead against the steering wheel.

This was going to be a new challenge.

Nathan was just the same a couple blocks back. He'd found a seat on the couch, his face placed in his hands.

He'd really messed up with Haley James.

But it had not been as bad as he expected. Haley deserved the best, and he was going to give it to her.

He was going to prove himself to her. He was done being afraid of commitment. He wished he had this discovery before he'd ended things with her. He missed her being next to him.

He wanted more than anything to do the little things with her. He wanted to take their kids to the park, have her teach him little tricks on the piano that he didn't care about or really learn at all. He wanted to go to sleep and wake up next to her.

He didn't want to hide their relationship ever again. He knew one thing, he was sure of her.

He was such an idiot for letting her go.

He understood why she never answered him. That had frustrated him a little bit, especially the first few times he called.

He'd always figured things would have been different now if she would have just answered his call. But he understood. She was scared of going through it again.

She'd fallen for him and he'd let her down hard.

He let out a sigh, standing up quickly and heading up the stairs to his bedroom.

Nathan felt like he was just going through the motions of life now. The double sink in his bathroom felt useless to him.

He stared at his reflection in the mirror, rubbing his tired eyes.

It was so stupid that he still had trouble sleeping without her. She didn't even spend the night with him that often.

Nathan leaned against the countertop, splashing some cold water onto his face.

He looked over to his toothbrush holder, shaking his head at the light blue one that resided next to his own.

He'd learned a lot about Haley in their time together, and one of those things was that if she could, she liked to brush her teeth after every meal, instead of morning and night like most people.

He glared at himself in the mirror again, picking it up quickly and tossing it into the trash.

He hated himself for hurting her. For hurting Macey. For Nick.

He was done using his shitty relationships as a map for his life. He'd decided that months ago, but he was finally going to prove to himself that he could do it.

He looked back into his bedroom, sighing at the made bed.

He rarely made his bed before her. But she liked going into a room with a made bed and having to fold down the covers before going to bed. She'd even gone as far as to teach him how to make the bed so that it looked like no one had ever slept in it.

He brushed his teeth, keeping his eyes on his reflection, not really watching himself, just zoning out.

As soon as he was finished, he took a few steps towards his bed, before stopping.

Who was he kidding? He wasn't going to be able to sleep for a few more hours.

He plugged in his phone to avoid any distractions, heading back down the stairs and into his office.

Might as well pretend to get some work done while thinking about Haley James.