Kanon finally grew fed up with Rhadamanthys' cold attitude.

"What is it now? Are you still angry that Saga had to stay the last few days? Geez, he's gone now." he asked during breakfast. "I actually found him less annoying when he was around these days. Like the smaller he is, the less he annoyed me. I love him but gods know we're better with some distance between us."

Rhadamanthys scoffed. "It's not that. I don't give a fuck about Saga."

Kanon stood up and went around the table to sit down on his lap. "Then what is it?" he asked, draping his arms around his neck.

"You don't think I'm powerful enough" said Rhadamanthys.

"Where the hell did you get that from?" asked Kanon. "I've never cared about that. Hell, I killed you. Did you already forget about that?"

"You don't think I am powerful enough to keep our child safe if we ever have one."

Kanon rolled his eyes at that. "Seriously? You were so upset by my jokes? Rhada I was just joking! That was it!"

"You kept worrying about Saga. You kept doubting the protections of the castle."

"Rhada everything's fine!"

"It's fine until you have to protect something valuable to you. It's fine until there's something beyond ourselves to protect. So tell me," said Rhadamanthys, holding Kanon's hands. "What must I do to make you feel safe? I can arm the castle, bring my army back. I can force Athena to release my cosmos completely. I can rearrange the entire underworld. Tell me. What is it?"

Kanon felt his heart give a painful jump.

Safe.

No one had ever wanted to make him feel safe.

He smiled, and felt something warm and painful in his heart. His vision blurred, his eyes filling with tears.

"Kanon…," whispered Rhadamanthys, wiping a tear from his lover's cheek.

"You're so much like Saga. So powerful. So invulnerable. You think you can just lift your fist and change the hearts of people… You can't. But…I do feel better. When I'm with you, going to sleep is better. I have less nightmares, I don't feel like I have to lie about anything, and everything is just…better," he said, burrowing his face against Rhadamanthys' neck. "And that's all I want."

A/N:

Well, that's it. We've reached the end.

I'll be honest and say that I wrote this because I had a great need for writing Aioros holding tiny Aioria. Then I also wanted the threesome for the beginning, and of course I felt like I hadn't explored Saga's perspective during all the stuff that happened in "Returning" with Kanon.

In fact, when I thought back to Saga's portrayal there, I didn't like how incomplete it seemed. It's not that it was incorrect, it was that it was too one sided when all the events were seen and emotionally processed from Kanon's perspective, which made Saga seem unidimensional as a character and which annoyed me a bit because I like characters to be more complex.

So here I set off to figure out what was going on in his mind and as I drafted the outline I kept coming back to the thought that "sometimes there's nothing you can do" about some things. But not in a defeatist sense but rather in an understanding that you cannot control the hearts of other people, or the things that happened in the past, or the body that you were born with. In essence, some things are up to "the will of the gods" or rather "the nature of the world" and it's a hard thing to understand and accept. Especially for those people who usually have been able to, through their own will and actions, determine most of their fate, such as Saga. But for others who ended up getting the short end of the stick, such as Kanon and Aioros, it is a self evident fact of the world. In showing their stories I tried to present the sense of "I only have my hands and the fate I have born with, and I'm gonna push them to take me as far as they can". Aioros with his struggle to gain the Sagittarius cloth while taking care of Aioria, and Kanon with his own struggle of living in Saga's shadow while trying to find his place in the world. Saga in turn, had to deal with his darkness and the repercussions that it left in his mind. For Saga, the first step in healing was accepting reality as it was, and accepting that he would have to fix the things inside him that were broken.

But to do that he first had to accept that he was weaker than the all powerful concept of himself that he had. In Saga's mind the only thing that could stop him was his own darkness, and there was a constant belief of "If I can find it and destroy it then everything will be fine" and which completely ignores the independent will of everyone around him who was also affected. It was a humbling process for him, but which ends up in him relying in the strength that others give him more than in his own strength. The whole journey was a mind exercise in surrender in a way. In letting go and accepting.

Whelp. I think I had more to say about this story than I thought! Sorry for that.

Anyway, thanks for reading and arriving all the way here. I hope you have enjoyed this journey as much as I enjoyed writing it and please let me know your thoughts.

You can find me on twitter as alexdamien
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