"It's not a shonen manga unless there's a tournament battle arc!" announced Sensual Sadist Lady as she stood on the stage holding a box filled with lots. "For our last sports festival activity, we'll hold a one-on-one battle. Will the top 16 contestants please step forward so that you can draw lots to pick your opponent? I'll start with the first place team."

But before she could start with the first place team, Martial Arts Kid raised his hand. "Uh, excuse me, but I'd like to withdraw."

Everyone looked at him like he had just said he shit his pants.

Engine Legs said, "You can't withdraw, Arts Kid-kun. This is a rare chance for you to get scouted!"

"Yeah," Arts Kid admitted, "but I don't think it's fair. I didn't really do anything in the Calvary Battle. I don't remember anything until the very end." He sighed. "I think it was that guy's quirk." He pointed to a blue (or purple?) haired kid standing aloof to the side. And that kid frowned and turned away. Arts Kid continued, "Yeah this is an awesome opportunity to show the world what I'm capable of, but my conscience won't let me. I feel like it's cheating if I didn't earn it."

"But fuck your conscience," Green Boi insisted. "Just think about what you're doing. You're giving up a spot in a live tournament that will broadcast your quirk to agencies. This is better than a targeted Facebook ad."

"Listen, I HAVE thought about it!" Arts Kid was clearly upset with the situation. "I can't go on to the next round knowing that I coasted through the second round as somebody's puppet. Everyone else worked so hard, so I'm not going to disgrace them by cheating."

Invisible Girl rolled her eyes. "Martial Arts, you're making a big fuss over nothing. If someone used their quirk on you and you won, then you still won, because we're allowed to use our quirks. It's not cheating. So just kick some ass during the battles and prove to yourself that you deserve to be in the final round."

Acid Girl agreed. "Yeah. I really don't see why you think it's cheating. Even if you were under mind control or whatever, you still had the skills to get to the next round."

Martial Arts Kid covered his face. "No, look, this is about my pride. I can't give up my pride." Martial Arts Kid wasn't the only guy with a lot of pride. A Smol Cute Chubby Boi From Class 1-B stepped up to say, "Yeah, you know what, I feel the same way. I want to drop out too."

Explochan thought, Wow, these dumbass losers are so dumb. But standing beside him was Red Hot Red Head, who started crying tears of respect, and saying, "That's so manly! There's nothing more respectable than a man who adheres to the laws of his own pride!"

What the fuck is he whining about? wondered Explochan.

Up in the stands, Ninja Bae and Speaker Bae were watching this scenario unfold. Speaker Man said, "Well this is unprecedented. First the girls of 1-A go rogue and decide to be cheerleaders, and now two students are giving up their chance to be in the top 16. Is that even allowed?"

"Sadist Lady is in charge of the festivities, so she has the final say," replied Ninja Eyes.

And she said, "That sort of talk is incredibly naïve bois. And that turns me on! I'll allow you to withdraw!"

Everyone exclaimed, "Did she say it turns her on?!"

Engine Legs lamented, "Oh my god, she actually says that in canon."

And she continued, "Alright, so now who will take their place?"

And so it was decided that Clone Of Rock Hard Boi and Vine Girl would take their place. And then the lots were drawn. And then the tournament order was decided.

Bracket 1: Precious Green Bean Child vs Blue Haired Mind Control Kid

Bracket 2: Half White Prince Zuko vs Duct Tape Dude

Bracket 3: Vine Girl vs Pikachu Dude

Bracket 4: Support Item Girl vs Glasses Guy Engine Legs

Bracket 5: Pink Acid Girl vs Honey Sweet Laser Belly

Bracket 6: Rich Tits vs Bird Guy

Bracket 7: Spikey Red Head Dude vs Copy of Spikey Red Head Dude

Bracket 8: Blushy Floaty Girl vs Angry Explodey Boi

Explochan looked up at the board to see who he'd have to beat first. "Blushy Floaty Girl? Who the hell is that?"

She was standing right behind him, and she was very much offended.

Ice Prince looked up at the board and saw his first opponent. Duct Tape Dude. Easy win. So my next battle could be either a no-name seat filler or Bean Child-kun. That means Bean Child needs to win his battle so I can defeat him properly—with only half of my power.

Engine Legs looked up to see that he was going to fight, "Support Item Girl?" His face tensed. "Who could that be?" But he didn't have to wonder for long, because she approached him, saying, "Hey, legs, you're Engine Legs, right?"

"Correct," he replied, "I'm Glasses Guy Engine Legs, Deputy Class Representative of Class 1-A."

"AHHHH! PERFECT!" she squealed. "I'm Support Item Girl, and I'll be your opponent." She grabbed his hands and looked into his eyes. "You see, in addition to my quirk, I use these mechanical gadgets that I create in order to fight." She gestured to the metal backpack that she was wearing. "And I don't think it's fair that I have such an advantage over you. So you should wear some too! PLEASE?!"

"Uhhh…" Engine Legs' calves tensed as her hands tightly gripped his. A slight blush appeared on his face. He couldn't say no to a pretty girl wearing robotic enhancements. "Alright then."

Green Bean looked up at the board and saw that he was the first battle of the tournament. Just my fucking luck, he groaned, I'm probably going to fight Ice Prince in the next round. Well I guess it's better than fighting Explochan again. That'd just be terrible. Oh, but first I have to win my first battle. I wonder who Blue Haired Mind Control Kid is?

"Boo," said someone from behind him. Green Boi freaked out and jumped forward. When he turned around, he saw the guy who had argued with Explochan that one time. He had a flashback to that day.

"You'll definitely be a fangirl favorite." Blue Haired Kid had said to Explochan. "Hell, even the fanboys will love you. Everyone loves the asshole character. And let me guess, you've got a cinnamon roll as your boyfriend, huh?" Blue Haired Kid had peeked further into the classroom. "Yup, I see him. The one with the green hair, right?"

Green Boi had banged his head against the wall and whispered, "Why me?"

Then Explodey Boi had violently retorted, "If you've got shit to say, say it to me. Leave my Green Bean out of this."

Green Boi once again repeated under his breath, "My Green Bean…"

"That's your name right? Precious Green Bean Child? I'm fighting you next. You excited?" asked Blue Haired Kid.

"Oh, uh, y—" But before Green Boi could reply, Martial Arts Kid wrapped his tail around Greenie's mouth, and said, "Shut up!" Then Martial Arts Kid glared at Mind Control Kid. The latter smirked, and walked away. The former muttered, "Asshole," and lowered his tail.

"Dang, your tail is strong," Green Boi exclaimed. "You know, if you hadn't dropped out, you'd be a formidable match against any of the close range fighters in the tournament. Maybe you'd have trouble against Ice Prince or Pikadude because their attacks are so long range, but—"

"That's exactly what I needed to warn you about."

"Huh?"

"Green Boi, you can't talk to him."

"Why not?"

Martial Arts Kid looked around. He gestured for Green Boi to follow him. "Let's talk about this someone private."

…

The two went to the Class 1-A waiting room and took a seat at one of the tables. "What did you mean when you said I can't talk to him?"

"I think that's his quirk," Arts Kid explained.

"Huh?"

"If he asks you a question, and you answer it, he brainwashes you."

"HUH? Really?"

"Yup. You'll be under his control and do whatever he says. I think that's how he got me to join his team during the Calvary Battle."

"Oh no, I'm screwed."

"No, no, you're not screwed. Just don't say anything to him."

"But you know how I am."

Arts Kid laughed awkwardly. "Yeah, you do tend to ramble on and on when you speak. But just don't speak to him."

"Okay, but, suppose I accidentally speak to him. What then? I lose?"

"Well, maybe not. Because during the end of the Calvary Battle, I bumped into someone, and I kind of woke up. That's the only bit I remember about it though. The rest is a blur."

"So if I get caught by his quirk, I'll need to hit myself to get out of it?"

"Well I don't really know if that'll work." Arts Kid shrugged. "And I don't know how you'd be able to hit yourself. It's a one-on-one match, and if you're under his control, you have no control of your own body."

"I see…"

"Yeah. Well, I hope that helps you with your battle." He stood up. "Kick his ass for me, okay?"

"I'll do my best!"

"Great!" Arts Kid was about to walk away, but Green Boi gasped, and asked, "Wait, isn't this cheating?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, because earlier you were talking about your pride and how you didn't want to cheat. But you basically told me his quirk. Isn't that cheating? I mean, it is supposed to be a one-on-one battle, right?"

Arts Kid shook his head. "Nah, it's fine. I'm sure he's asking others about your quirk too. So it was pretty smart of you to hide it this entire time."

I didn't do it on purpose. Green Boi thought. "Oh, yeah. Hehe."

"By the way, what is your quirk? It's super strength, right?"

"Um, kind of…"

"Careful not to hurt him too bad."

Green Boi's eyes widened. "Oh. Yeah. Of course not."

"Cool. Well good luck!"

And Arts Kid walked away. Green Boi remained in the waiting room and winced. "Shit," he mumbled.