A few drunken nights later, we said our goodbyes to BJ for the time being. He, Peg and the children were coming over for Christmas with Father Mulcahy and Sister Angelica (both back from Korea for a few months). He promised us a good time with plenty of clean fun (for the Padre and his sister's sake, of course). At the airport, before he left for his flight home, he took Hawkeye to one side and whispered in his ear. Hawkeye laughed and clapped him on the shoulder before they hugged tightly for one last farewell.

On the way home in the Packard, I asked Hawkeye what BJ said. It was not like the kids were paying attention to us anyway. Annabeth and Shannon had been counting cars on the roads and competing to see who can spot the most that were not from Maine. Patrick and Danielle were asleep in their seats between me and Hawkeye.

"He told me we did good," Hawkeye informed me.

I was curious. "What do you mean?"

"We, my Mrs. Pierce, have accomplished more in the past two weeks than we had in two years."

"I am still a little confused, Hawkeye. What are you talking about?"

Hawkeye reached over and held my hand for a moment, without taking his eyes off of the road. "You and I made it."

I had to think about it. Through our mutual indifference of the other through the past couple of years, we did make it through another hurdle. While I worked on my end to bring him closer to home and to have Crabapple Cove prosper, he was listening to our family and trying to be the best husband and father he could be. He was right. We had made it. Our marriage was not over yet.

This kind of elation thrilled me. We could thrive in peacetime as much as we did in Korea. There was common ground. We had a connection. Hawkeye and I just had to keep the spark alive everyday somehow.

When we returned home, it was like we were freed from the worrisome burdens of the past couple of weeks. We were sad to see BJ leave, but it was nice to be alone and have our home back to ourselves and to work on us. Hawkeye and I carried a twin each and Annabeth and Shannon raced each other back inside. For us, it was a normal day back in the Pierce household. We wouldn't have it any other way.

To be honest though, it was a good thing BJ left when he did (despite all of the fun we had together). We had tasks to handle almost immediately after our arrival and Dad had all of the messages. The medical board was demanding Hawkeye finish up the plans for the new clinic and to choose a new location. Frustrated, and all before he could put his coat away, Hawkeye put Patrick down and called Portland. He reached someone quickly and demanded to know what was going on.

Every so often, Hawkeye nodded. It was like he was listening to Quartermaster all over again. He was not compliant and, no matter his rationalization, he hit a brick wall. The tactics had to be switched up. Hawkeye changed the topic quickly.

When he mentioned that he'd like me to be recertified as a nurse, the interest grew and they demanded that I study and take the exam as soon as possible with his help. From my position in the living room, as I helped the children shuck their gear off, I heard the excitement in a million voices. Mrs. Jeanette Pierce, former war nurse, wanting to now be employed? It was not a laughable concept because they knew my certifications and credentials. They were serious and promised to send more details later.

Then, I heard Cochran's solo voice. It grated on my nerves quickly and I drew closer to Hawkeye for his benefit. Cochran went on a detailed rampage about what Hawkeye needed to do. Then, he ordered Love to come back to work. Hawkeye's vacation was almost over and Cochran could not wait the few days for help, he claimed. There was mention about some small hamlets along the shoreline needing help.

Hawkeye rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out and wiggled his fingers in a mock salute as Cochran continued. The children giggled at the antics and copied him. It didn't help that Dad encouraged them. When he met my eye with a mischievous glitter, I began my best rambunctious military salutes and orders.

It was enough that Cochran heard. "Can't you keep the noise down?" he asked.

"What noise?" Hawkeye sounded seriously innocent and ignorant. "I don't hear anything."

Cochran let out some breath and instructed Hawkeye again to come back to work. "We are short-staffed," he added.

"What are you planning on doing when I come home?" Hawkeye inquired.

"We planned on still having you travel."

"That was not in the arrangements. The clinic here is supposed to be my job."

"We thought someone else would take the position."

"Then, the contract is null and void?"

"Oh, no. We thought you'd like to stretch your legs still."

"Now, who's 'we'?"

"The board here in Portland is 'we', if you must know. Now, onto this –"

"Doctor – and I say this with my teeth clenching – that was not in the agreement we brokered. You either give me the clinic or I will build one on my own and damn you all."

Angered, Cochran threatened to pull his license. Hawkeye did not care. He had enough of the nonsense and ignored Cochran, waving at the children to be louder. Besides that, he had the power and the means. Hawkeye Pierce was not going to be under someone's thumb anymore. If Cochran tried to fire him or take away what he held so dear to his heart, then Hawkeye had the backing of Crabapple Cove beside him. We all made sure of that.

"I think we're losing a connection here," Hawkeye finally said, pretending to have static on our end. "Call – the – operator…again…"

Then, he hung up. The slam of the telephone was music to our ears. I cheered and hugged Hawkeye. Our children did the same. They rushed over and enveloped us in their innocent love. Dad joined them before peeling them off of us.

"This might mean your livelihood," Dad warned Hawkeye.

"No," Hawkeye proudly replied. He wrapped his arm around me. "He can't take that away. I'll make sure of it. Over my dead body."

It was true. Later, Portland told Hawkeye to disregard anything Cochran said. They did not intend to pull his license or have him travel. Instead, they said to finish off his vacation and to return for his new assignments at the main clinic. They had more in store for the both of us too.

It seemed like they were giving us treats. Hawkeye was being given another paid week next year. They wished for him to attend more medical conferences and to bring me with him. His pay was increased and the mortgage for the new clinic will no longer be on him. Not to mention, they liked the idea of a husband and wife medical team. They had so much planned for me and sent me material quickly to be certified as one of theirs.

Afterward, things changed quickly. Instead of letting Cochran and his insanity get in the way of his life, Hawkeye decided to spend as much time with us as he could. He brought Shannon to and from school until my ankle healed and always encouraged her to continue her art. He took Annabeth and the twins on daily walks, further and further away from home. He cooked and cleaned when I was too tired or was studying.

He even quizzed me. It was too easy, I thought. Maine was not known for its organized medical accreditations and the knowledge they require women to know as nurses. It was boring enough, with only being assessed on the bare essentials. I told Hawkeye to give me a more thought-provoking question.

"Describe thoracic surgery," he said as he picked a random line from the tome I was using for advanced training. "How has it progressed in three years?"

I sighed. "Is this really what I have to know? Basics I learned when I was nineteen and studied again years later?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Well, what do you want me to do? Make it more challenging for you? I don't make these tests."

It was indeed a good idea. I told Hawkeye he should suggest it. He closed the book I was learning from and looked at me. His mouth worked out a laugh, but could not get the noise out. He knew I was telling the truth.

"Maybe when Cochran the Clown puts on a new show," he said. "The audience might actually laugh at his new jokes." He sounded bitter.

Subsequently, I didn't bother Hawkeye anymore about changing anything. I worked through what I needed to know and set the date for my test. Since classes started twice a year, in February and September, I had to wait until someone had a spot for me to take the exam later this month. Cochran also decreed that I had to drive to the new Maine School of Practical Nursing in Waterville to do so. It was that or somehow take a sleigh up to Presque Isle, which was closer to Canada and already beginning to be snowed in. Hawkeye vetoed the latter and told me he'd take me up to Waterville himself.

In the meantime, we needed a break from the madness. Just before Hawkeye went back to work, we both decided that we wanted to go out ourselves. The twins were old enough that Dad could handle them on his own and Mrs. Pettigrew offered to help with the older girls. We set the date for the night before Hawkeye had to report back to the clinic and set off on a walk to Eddie's bar on a crisp September evening.

It was a crowded place. Eddie hired a couple of live bands to play. By the time we arrived and we seated by Lucy, one of them was grabbing the attention of most of the place, both positive and negative. The players were all women, that's why. Every move they made entertained, teased, shocked or scandalized each visitor.

I was intrigued as much as Hawkeye was. His eyes didn't quite believe they were easy to woo. He thought they were an interesting group of women. They were dressed decently and were respectful, but the way they conducted themselves was freer than the average woman.

Lucy soon brought our drinks. Quickly, we gulped them down and continued to listen. Then, when a beat got Hawkeye's foot tapping, he grabbed my hand.

"Let's dance," he decided.

I didn't want to argue. The song was contagious to feet movement. I let Hawkeye drag me to the dance floor.

Here we go again,
Looking for a ride.
Got a bag stuffed, filled
With love and goodbyes.
I don't care if I never grow up.

Don't want to shrink in a suit.
Don't want to live, just to
Suck someone bone-dry.
I'd rather die, I'd rather die.

Around and around we went in a circle. The music grew louder as the drums joined the other instruments. I almost could not hear the cheering from the patrons. The room became a blur, with other couples twirling around us too.

I was having the time of my life. Without thinking, I laughed loudly. Hawkeye joined me and spun me faster.

Each time I think back
To my hometown, my
Skinny self standin' around,
Waiting, watching wishing
For something to happen.

I used to dream about a boy
Like you, with your hair dyed black
And your eyes jet blue,
Hoping, searching and praying
For something fantastic.

We've been here before.
Stood up at the door,
Holding secrets we'd never say.
Hey, don't hang your head.
Feel the breeze instead.
Fear no shadow.
Don't fear no shame.

All it took was one punch
In the face to make me wanna
Steal that guy's car in the first place.
Grass on suburban lawns
Never looked so black.

Slip through the window.
Step through the door.
Hand me your hairpin,
Your knees to the floor,
Head to the highway.
We're never turnin' back.

Car by car and line by line,
Someday, you'll find your place
And I'll find mine, in a new time
And a brand-new town.
Get up, get up, get up, get down.

On and on and on we go,
We've got no radio,
So we sing songs we know,
For miles and miles of open road.
Get up, get up, get up, let's go!

We've been here before.
Stood up at the door,
Holding secrets we'd never say.
Hey, don't hang your head.
Feel the breeze instead.
Fear no shadow.
Don't fear no shame.

Get up, get up, get up, get down!

When the song finished, all of us exploded into applause. I was blown away by their talent. One of the girls caught my eye and waved for the others to start another song. This time, it was slower and more in line with some of what the others wished for. Hawkeye held me again and we swung into an easy circle.

"Now, all we need is a walk on the beach," Hawkeye mentioned.

"Hopefully, nobody will need our help," I replied.

Hawkeye made a noise that was a cross between agreement and contentment. We continued our dance until the song finished. Then, I wanted to sit down because I was tired. I went back to our table while Hawkeye journeyed to the counter to talk with Eddie and grab an extra drink. The two soon were in an easy conversation and laughing. Eddie patted Hawkeye's shoulder.

"I am proud of you," he told Hawkeye. "You've come so far."

Hawkeye grinned in such a way that I saw very few times before. It was pure joy. The feeling was infectious. When he returned, two more drinks in hand, I could not stop smiling. I reached over the kissed him. I knew it was not encouraged in public, but I could not help it. This was such a happy occasion.

Dinner went by quickly. When we were done, Hawkeye paid the bill and we exited. Already, it was nine in the evening. The stars were out and sparkling. The ocean nearby crashed cold water. We heard the fishermen in the distance, calling out about the tide.

Hawkeye and I decided to take the long way home. Arm-in-arm, we took the trek, kicking sand out of our way and humming the songs from earlier. There was no need for talk for the moment. We were enjoying the sights and sounds of the town. We passed similar couples, young and old. Soon enough, we were home and walking up the steps to the porch. Suddenly, Hawkeye tripped. I almost went down with him.

I recovered quickly. "Oh, my God, Hawkeye. Are you ok?" I helped him up. "What happened?"

"Yeah," he told me, brushing off his pants. "Maybe we missed the mine?"

I tried laughing off the cold joke. Whatever he ran into was not a misstep. We decided to find a flashlight and check it out. Hawkeye rushed inside and grabbed the item and drew the yellow beam over the large item.

It was a carcass of a dead animal, bled out by a gunshot wound in the head.

Oh, my God.

It had been some months since we had a dead animal in our yard. We had a calm in the storm and only had to ensure Hawkeye's madness and the picture burnings. This came on the back of the good news from Portland and Cochran being an asshole.

It was then that Hawkeye and I had the same idea. We looked at each other and then the body. Silently, we told each other that the children did not need to see this. Together, we picked it up and hid it in the bushes for the time being. We will handle it with Dad in the morning, when the little ones were not looking this way.

All this time, we knew it was Cochran organizing this. The blood on the house, the threat of death and more – it was this asshole. He who made Hawkeye's life a living hell was the guilty one who was giving us grief. He could not reach us and had to find a way to scare us again.

When we completed the job, we went inside. Hawkeye turned in the living room lights on and put the flashlight away. Everyone was in bed. It also appeared that Mrs. Pettigrew had gone home too.

Dad came downstairs within a few minutes. He was quizzical. "What's going on?" he asked us, seeing our grim faces.

"We've been visited by Snow White's hunter," Hawkeye revealed.

Dad groaned. "I thought we were finished with this. Did you hide it?"

"Under the bushes," I confirmed.

"Who could be doing this?" Dad wondered.

"Cochran," Hawkeye said.

"Ben, don't," Dad warned. "You can't prove it."

"I don't give a damn about proof!" Hawkeye yelled. "He's terrorized us enough."

"Hawkeye, you can't accuse someone from the medical board of this," Dad reasoned crossly. "You have no evidence. And it's not against the law. It's disgusting."

I don't think Hawkeye cared. He went off on a rant. He felt that this wasn't illegal, of course, but that it was a form of coercion. He was being forced to do something he did not want to do and his family had to suffer for it. We were being scared into an action.

"Who else would do this?" Hawkeye concluded. His blue eyes shone. "Who else would have a grudge against us?"

"I could have made enemies," Dad reminded him.

"And they're coming after you now? Come on, Dad. That doesn't make sense."

"Someone could have found out I referred young women to hush clinics or that I helped someone speed up their death."

Hawkeye stopped and looked at Dad in a new light. It was not just respect, but in a sort of horror. Dad always showed us that he was not in some grey zone when it came to medical decisions. Hearing Dolly tell me that he helped her into an abortion clinic was not a surprise to me. His revelation sparked something in Hawkeye that was never there before. He understood that the medical field was not always black and white, but also a tough determination between what was right and wrong and what constitutes the best for each patient.

"I doubt it," I quickly said. "You would have been arrested by now."

Dad shrugged his shoulders. "So be it. I am an old man. I have nothing to live for anymore except for my family."

"Someone might be blackmailing all of us," I suggested. When Dad and Hawkeye glanced at me for additional information, I said, "It could not just be one person they are targeting. We all care for the children. This could not only scare them, but also make all of us do anything to protect them."

"What could you have done?" Dad demanded.

I said nothing. There were many things in my life, especially in the Army, I did that were not right. From dealing with patients that came home from Europe and Asia to my West German nightmares and right into Korea, I was not one with clean hands. Dad did not need to know.

"Jeanie is as innocent as you and I are," Hawkeye declared. "She has nothing to hide."

"And everything to lose, just like you two," I replied. "Right now, we need to think about catching the culprit. This will give us the proof we need."

"And if it's Cochran?" Dad speculated.

"Then, we will figure out how to hang him from the highest tree," Hawkeye answered.

"We could tar and feather him," I added.

"Use him like a pinata."

"Ouch! That will mean all the children in town will have a turn."

"Mrs. Pettigrew could breath fire down his back."

"Oh, I like that better."

Dad was amused by the banter. "Ok, you two. Off to bed, unless you plan on dancing drunk on the beach tonight."

We both vetoed the idea. Dad headed upstairs while we closed up shop downstairs. Hawkeye took the garbage out for me and I washed the last of the dishes from previous meals. When we finished, we met at the basement door. Something was bothering Hawkeye. I could tell.

"Can we talk?" he inquired, pointing to the door.

I assented. We descended together. Immediately, Hawkeye went to the boxes I hid, the ones filled with the pictures and film. I was horrified. I didn't want to deal with them, not this late at night anyway. I was going to say something, but Hawkeye stopped me. He picked up some kindling and piled them on top of the box he carried.

He pointed to the still and the glasses. "Care for a fire and a nightcap?"

"A quick one," I conceded.

When we went outside and gathered all of the ingredients necessary for a good fire and the perfect gin, I realized that Hawkeye was trying to help me. This was part of his rescue mission. I didn't have to touch a thing. He carried the shameful carton to the pit. We threw in some wood and lit it. It took a few minutes, but it was soon roaring.

Bits and pieces of the women flew past our heads in soft ash. Hawkeye brushed his out of his black and white hair. I allowed it to run through mine. Hawkeye didn't like that I was the lone keeper and cleaned me off.

"You don't have to go through this alone, you know," he told me. He took my free hand.

I didn't know what was better: that Hawkeye told me that I was not alone or that he was holding my hand before a great fire. When I thought of the two, I noted that they were one and the same. We were now the holder of these secrets. Together, we were going to ensure that the past was buried.

Following lyrics are from the Antigone Rising song "Waiting, Watching, Wishing".