Chapter 52 - Late Night Talk

What was he even doing here? It was stupid. And creepy. And also stupid. And there'd be hell to pay if May figured out that he was gone. It was unlikely that Mr. Stark would be thrilled that he had gone out in the dark climbing buildings either. And all that without a suit. He just had to risk it though. Had to try. Mr. Stark needed to stay. Peter needed him to stay. He couldn't just let him leave, not without putting up at least some resistance. But how was he going to do that? What could he even say? Peter had no idea. He had to trust that the magic combination of words would just come to him, when he would see the man. He had climbed all the way up to the floor of the penthouse. The lights in the living room were dimmed almost all the way down and he couldn't see anyone. The lights on the balcony itself were turned off all the way. Maybe... what if he was too late?

"Hey, FRIDAY... is... erm... Is Mr. Stark around?"

"Hello, Peter. Boss is on the premises but I have been given orders that he is not to be disturbed until tomorrow morning."

"Oh..." Mr. Stark had left with Miss Potts. With his... girlfriend? And here Peter was sneaking around on their balcony... "Oh god, yeah... just... just don't... Don't tell him I'm here."

He turned his back and walked out onto the landing platform. This had been a ridiculous idea. He shouldn't have even come here. Mr. Stark had already made his choice and he'd been very clear about it. How was he ever even convince the man to change his mind?

"FRIDAY, is it... is it okay if I just sit out here? Not for long, I... I don't want to mess with your security protocols or anything, I... I'll leave in a bit, I just... can I just sit here, for a couple of minutes?"

He waited for her to answer but she stayed quiet. Maybe her sensors didn't work all the way out on the platfo—

"You are welcome to stay, Peter."

"Thanks, FRI." Alright then. He turned back around and let his eyes wander over Manhattan. He took off his makeshift mask as he sat down. Well, mask... a beanie covering his head and a bandana wrapped around his face. Just a quick fix since he'd never gotten his suit back. He wouldn't now. Not with Mr. Stark leaving. That too, he had made perfectly clear.

The platform was situated on the same side of the building as Mr. Stark's personal lab. Just one floor below he had sat, worked and chatted with the man for months, had looked out at the exact same panorama. He pulled up his legs and rested his chin on his knees. Manhattan's lights were bright and many people would kill to get the chance to experience the view in front of Peter, but he had no mind for it. It was only an out-of-focus collection of lights to him while his mind pulled up other images like the memories of all these months that he had just come and gone to the Tower's lab, the late-night workshop hours. Even more than that his mind drifted to these videos he had been watching on Mr. Stark's server. His weird obsession with these moments that had been so personal. All this time he had thought it was his own loss that had drawn his sick mind to watch more and more of them. Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe there had been something in his subconscious that had made him feel like he belonged when he had watched all that. Some deeply rooted remnant imprint on his soul, that had remained unimpressed that he went by a different name now. That didn't care who he thought his parents were, only cared about who he really was, his real parents, his... his real name.

None of it made any sense to him. How could any of this be real? Did his parents... his actual par— Richard and Mary. Had they known about this?

His hands shot up and covered his face. What was he gonna do? He couldn't even think straight. He had none of the answers to any of these questions. The biggest one being, that if all of this was true... If he really was who Mr. Stark believed him to be... If he really was Mr. Stark's... Mr. Stark's son. If Mr. Stark really was his... his real dad... why didn't he want him? Why wasn't he fighting for him? Mr. Stark was Iron Man. He could take on anyone he wanted. They'd... they'd become a team, hadn't they? Had all of that just been in his head? Or did none of that matter in contrast to the mistakes Peter had made? Maybe Mr. Stark would simply never forgive him for going behind his back. For lying to him. Did he even want to know the answer to that?

Peter's senses flared up just enough for him to notice. The glass door that led out of the penthouse was pushed open. He held his breath and turned slowly. The bright lights over Manhattan had made him temporarily blind to what lay in the darkness of the balcony. He could only make out a silhouette standing in the doorway, his eyes overstimulated by the bright city lights. It was very dark out there on the platform, maybe if he stayed quiet he'd go unnoticed. Plus, he didn't want to scare her.

"FRIDAY, is he still here?"

He froze as FRIDAY's voice echoed across the balcony.

"He's out on the platform, Ma'am."

She turned in his direction right away. His hand grabbed the beanie and bandana lying next to him by reflex. His eyes adapting to the dark silhouette, as she crossed her arms, a light cardigan wrapped around her, protecting her from the high winds on the balcony. He quickly pulled the beanie over his head when he heard her call out to him.

"Peter?"

He stopped in mid-motion. After a moment's hesitation he scrambled to his feet.

"I'm sorry, Miss Potts. I didn't... I didn't want to disturb you." His eyes went past her, searching for more movement in the room behind her, but he couldn't sense anything. Nobody other than Miss Potts.

"He's asleep."

"Oh... I... okay." That was new.

"Could you... could you come over here for a moment?"

His legs started to move on their own before he had even made a conscious decision on whether to go. Her eyes were wide watching him on the high platform, her hands clinging tightly to the fabric of her cardigan. Then, one of her hands shot out when he took two steps at a time descending from the platform onto the balcony.

"Careful..." She relaxed a little when Peter stepped further away from the balustrade and walked towards the lounge set on the deck she ushered him to.

"I'm sorry, Miss Potts, I... I asked FRIDAY if... if it was alright to stay. I was gonna—"

"Please... please, don't call me that. Just... just call me Pepper."

He couldn't look at her, looked at his feet instead, and grimaced. Yeah, that was not gonna happen. He tried for a bit of a smile and a nod in her general direction without looking up but it came out even more awkward than he thought it would. Eyes everywhere but on her, he sat down on one of the rattan couches. "I... I know I shouldn't have come. He told me not to come, but I just—"

"It's okay." Her voice was soft as she sat down in the chair next to him. "I'm glad to see you."

She reached for his hand and he let her take it, let her squeeze it tightly. Peter stole a glance at her and found her smile widening, eyes open and welcoming.

"It's so good to see you, you have no idea..."

Her second hand came to join the other, embracing Peter's right completely. His eyes burned at the gesture and at the same time he couldn't help but smile. The genuine warmth she was radiating almost physically engulfed him. One look at the blush that surely crept up into his cheeks and she got up from her own chair, then sat down right next to him on the lounge couch instead. One of her hands grasped his upper arm as to steady him.

"He told you then." His free hand pulled the beanie off his head. "About... about Spider-Man." She only nodded in confirmation, so he continued, indicating the beanie. "I don't usually dress like a burglar, but Mr. Stark he... he took my suit."

The corners of her mouth twitched. "So I've heard."

Peter shrugged, his head bowed low. "I know he's still mad. I... I didn't listen to him, about the Rouges. And then I— I know he's mad, I just..." He sighed deeply and looked back up at her. Her featured had turned a bit sadder, emanating sympathy.

"It must be so hard for you. All this... it's not easy for him either. He thinks this is the right thing to do. For you."

Peter bit his lip, determined to keep his emotions in check. "Maybe... maybe if you talked to him..." He rapidly blinked the moisture from his eyes before he dared to look up at her. She gave his hand another squeeze, but didn't interrupt him. "He listens to you. You're the only one he ever listens to. Please—"

"I did, honey. I tried." Her eyebrows were drawn together, her face lined with what could almost be described as sorrow. "I told him to stay, but he thinks—" She stopped herself. "He is trying to protect you."

Peter's stomach was tingling with nerves. He couldn't help but jump up out of his seat. "I have superpowers! I can protect myself, you know! I can... I can stop a car if I want to. With only my hands. I don't even need the suit for it."

She looked up at him, head tilted, eyebrows raised, like she was waiting for him to get a punchline he seemed to have missed.

"I can! I can look after myself!"

"Honey, Tony just had to break you out of a bunker's basement, after some weirdos kidnapped you, just because they picked you out as his favorite intern."

His face fell and he felt his body deflate. "That's... that's different. I mean, I didn't think... I didn't know... I can be more careful. I can!"

Her eyes wouldn't leave his face. "We're leaving in the morning. He's going to sell the Tower."

"Wh—What?" Peter's eyes widened. "He can't sell it!"

"Listen... Peter... " She shook her head slowly, indicating the spot on her left he had vacated before. "Can you just come and sit down for a moment? Please."

He swallowed hard but complied with her request and sat back down next to her on the lounge set. She made to reach for his hand again, but stopped herself in mid-motion.

"I'm sorry, this must be so weird for you."

Almost to his surprise, she pulled her hand back and rubbed it across her face instead, then folded both of them neatly in her lap. His first instinct was to look down to his own lap or his feet, anywhere really that wasn't her, but he forced himself to look back over. It would have been impossible to miss the sorrow and frustration she was fighting as well.

He exhaled deeply, gnawing on the inside of his lip. "He... he said I should just forget about what happened. Forget what I know, but... but I can't? How would I ever—" He stopped himself, lower lip caught between his lips as he tried to think of what to say. "I don't... I don't even understand how this could have happened. Everyone... everyone is lying and keeping their secrets and... and I just... I never thought he would." His voice was low, more like a whispered thought than a conscious part of the conversation. "I never thought he'd lie to me like that."

She blew out a deep breath, but at least she didn't try to deny it, didn't try to make it seem like he was wrong, because he wasn't stupid. He had known from the moment Mr. Stark had barred him from asking FRIDAY about basically anything, that he was hiding something. Who knew how long he had before then. How much of those last months had really been just a coincidence? Had just been Mr. Stark making sure that he was okay? How much of it had been the man scouting out his life instead?

"It's not fair. I deserved to know. Nobody... It's like I don't even know anything... anything about myself."

She reached for him again and turned towards him as much as the lounge would allow, the pressure of her hand tight. "What do you want to know?"

"I... I don't—" He tried to blink away the genuine shock her question gave him. Was this a sincere offer?

"I can't promise that I can help you with everything you want to know, but if I can, I will tell you." The look on her face was determined, like she actually meant it. "You just need to ask me."

A shiver ran down his spine. He did have so many question. So many things that confused him. The one that felt like the most pressing was also the one he'd rather ask anyone but her. Pepper Potts sitting next to him in the dark on the balcony of Stark Tower, holding his hand, offering up all the answers she could give him. It seemed too good to be true. When she had left with Mr. Stark it had left him numb and now Ms. Potts... Pepper... Pepper Potts was offering...

"You and... and Mr. Stark..." Peter closed his eyes for a brief second, fighting the heat that was rising up into his face from the sheer awkwardness of the question. "You... you're like... back together." He looked up when he felt her hold on his hand loosen a bit. She frowned but tightened her grip again.

"Yes."

He nodded, swallowing hard. "Back when... I mean... Were you... you and Mr. Stark, when... when I was..." He shook his head. This was so ridiculous. "Never mind, I..." His face was hot. What was he even thinking?

"It's..." She drew in a slow breath. "It's fine. Go on. You can ask me."

"When... when I was born, were you already, you know..."

She pulled his hand towards herself, forcing him to face her and he found her eyes searching his face.

"I was his PA. I'm not..." She bit her lip, casting her eyes down for a blink before she look straight at him again, her brow furrowed. "I'm not your mother, if that's what you're trying to ask."

He nodded quickly, then shook his head and turned his gaze back to the floor. "Okay, I just— I'm sorry. I wasn't... I wasn't sure. I probably shouldn't have— I'm sorry—"

Her other hand caught his cheek and turned his face back up.

"Please, don't apologize."

Her hand was warm on his face and there was a dull sadness in the pit of his stomach. Disappointment. He didn't even know how to place that, if it flamed up because it wasn't her or because he'd been foolish enough to voice that particular hypothesis he had harbored for the last few hours to her of all people in the first place. A weird secret fantasy that had been nagging in the back of his mind ever since he had realized that the familiar, warm energy he had felt when she had hugged him in the med wing might not have been all that accidental.

"But, when you were around then, that means that you... you know who...?"

Her hand dropped from his face. Her eyes still studied him. She gave a short nod. "I know."

Peter's eyes widened again. "You... you know who my mother is?" It was clear from her hesitation that she already regretted that she had offered him answers. He bit the inside of his lip. "It's fine, you don't have to tell me. I..." He shook his head and turned away from her.

"Honey, look at me."

He met her eyes again, nerves and unease made his hands tremble, but she held firmly onto him.

"I do... I do know. The thing is..." He could see it in her eyes before she said it. There was a certain way people looked at you, a sense of pity and sadness. "She died, honey. I'm sorry."

"Oh." Peter's lungs deflated. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of him.

"Her name was Aileen Kelly. She was a photo journalist."

His gaze had wandered down to his hand that Pepper Potts still held tightly, squeezing it every now and again. It was the only thing he really seemed to feel at that moment, the rest of his body just felt numb.

"What... what happened?"

"She..." Miss Potts furrowed her brow, hesitating. "I'm not sure if I should be the one telling you this. I know, I said I'd answer whatever I could but this..." She sighed, had turned her eyes away from him and now looked out into the Manhattan sky.

"It's fine. I mean, it doesn't matter. It's not like... like I knew her. I mean, I can't remember anything. I can hardly remember my real parents— I mean, my... my other parents— I'm sorry, it's..." He rubbed his free hand over his face in frustration. He didn't even know, who his real parents were anymore. He didn't even know how he could have ever been placed with his mom and dad. Everything was such a mess. One of her hands came to lie on his upper arm, squeezing it to give comfort.

Aileen Kelly. He had never heard that name before. It had never come up, not that first time when he had looked into the story around Mr. Stark's son, not in any of those videos on Mr. Stark's server either.

"Honey, it..." She blew out a deep breath, then waited till Peter looked back up at her. "She had a stroke, shortly after you were born."

"A stroke?"

Miss Potts nodded, eyes still on him. "He... Tony, he brought you home after that. He remodeled the whole house, implemented JARVIS to monitor every single angle of every single corner of that building. He put up baby monitors everywhere, that he didn't even use for months because he always had you close by, in the workshop, in the office. He had you napping next to him during board meetings for the first few months. He was so scared to mess up, so determined to be there whenever you'd need him."

Her gaze had wandered away from him. For a moment, she was lost in her own memories, eyes slightly glazed over, lingering in the air somewhere next to him. Her face softened and then her eyes found his.

"You were the cutest little thing. The first thing you said was 'dog', so of course Tony wanted to go buy a dog until he realized that you were pointing at his bots whenever you said it. So instead, he built a little bot that could get up the stairs from the workshop and that would follow you around the house. The first time you walked was just before Christmas. I..." she bit her lip, unable to suppress a smile. "I was watching you in my office because Tony had to sit in on some last-minute meetings before the holidays. You were holding onto my desk and then just let go and walked a couple of steps. I never told him." She chuckled, letting go with one hand of his and rubbed at her eyes. "He would have been so upset to miss it. He took you home that night and by morning he'd send me more than 10 videos of you walking in front of the Christmas tree."

While she kept talking, Peter found himself return the tight hold of her hand. All these stories seemed like someone else's life, surely not his. It was the life he had seen on his laptop screen, never realizing what he was watching and how personal it really was. Personal not just to Mr. Stark, but to him. Maybe one day he would get another shot at that, another opportunity to watch all that and maybe one day it would feel like those memories did belong to him.

He didn't know how long he was lost in his thoughts but at some point, he realized that Miss Potts had stopped talking. She was studying him, her face somber.

"I wasn't around for the last few months as much as I should have been." She did say it like it was an honest regret. "I don't know how this whole internship..." Her nose crinkled with a flash of discomfort. "...crime-fighting modus operandi unfolded, but I know Tony. I know him and I promise you if he would have had as much as a mere inkling of the... the real connection here, there is no way he could have remained passive. He would have made a spectacle of things because that's him." She looked back to the dimly lit rooms of the penthouse for a moment. "Few people care the way Tony does. But you already know that, right?"

Peter turned his face away from her, eyes fixed on the bright lights of the skyline, blaming those for how his vision started to blur. His throat was too tight to speak.

"When you were... were injured." She trod carefully with this, he could tell just by how meticulously considered her choice of words was. "Or lost. You've already seen him like that, didn't you? At least from what he told me."

"He... he told you? About me?" Peter was struggling to keep the memories from bubbling up. Mr. Stark's arms firmly wrapped around him, grounding him, his heartbeat strong and steady. Down in the lab when Peter had had that panic attack. In the guestroom after what had happened in Lagos, that room that had kinda, sorta become Peter's room. Even right up there on the balcony and then in the living room, just behind where they were sitting now, after Peter had been stabbed. Had thought he might die.

"Yeah... " She nodded, the expression on her face was difficult to place. A bit of sorrow shining through. "Yeah, he did tell me some things. About you. About... about what happened in the last few months."

Months. It really had been that long, almost half a year since that first night he had met Mr. Stark.

"We've met before, haven't we." Her voice was low now, guarded. "Earlier this year."

Goosebumps sprung off on Peter's arms as the images from the Compound came back to him. Mr. Stark in that hospital bed, unresponsive for days as Peter had hidden on the ceiling of his room.

"I... Yeah, that. I'm sorry for hiding, but I didn't know how... nobody knew and Mr. Stark he... he was the only one and I just... I just wanted to be careful." Only Mr. Stark had known then. Of course now, well... Now quite a few people knew.

She frowned. "No, I..." Then shook her head. "In February, when I was at that school in Queen where—" She stopped, eyes a little unfocused. "God, that... that's your school, isn't it? I didn't even—" She shook her head again. "Were you... Were you in that room when I was speaking? When I talked about the September Foundation?"

"Right. Yeah... yeah, I was there."

"And then..." The wind was tugging at the fabric of her cardigan and she slung her arms around herself, holding it close even though the summer air was warm. "Then afterwards. After the presentation..."

"In the alley." He hadn't even recognized her then, too lost in getting the job done that had neatly unfolded right in front of him. "These two guys attacked you in the alley behind the school."

"And you stopped them."

He twitched in a bit of a mix of a shrug and a nod. "They wouldn't have... I mean, I don't think they'd have hurt you, you know. Maybe... maybe stolen from you. But like... you weren't in danger-danger. I mean... you know? It was fine. It was nothing."

She leaned over to him, a hand on his knee effectively stopping his rambling. "It wasn't nothing to me, honey. Thank you."

It was the weirdest moment of their conversation yet, her thanking him. Pepper Potts. Surreal. But then, surreal was what his life had turned into over the last few months and whenever Peter thought it couldn't get any crazier it was like the universe saw it as a challenge to prove him wrong. That day that Pepper Potts had turned out to be the recipient of his neighborhood efforts, had kicked the surrealness into another gear though for sure.

"Mr. Stark, he... he came to look for me that night. Wanted to make sure that I wasn't a threat. A threat to you, mostly, I think." She grimaced with unease, not the nostalgic affection he would have expected, so he quickly clarified. "It... it wasn't like... bad or anything. It was... he even offered me a favor later on."

"A favor?" The suspicion in her voice was equal part unsettling and amusing to him, given Mr. Stark's track record of spontaneous charity she'd be aware of that he had only discovered later on.

"He said that... that he was in my debt because... because I had helped." Peter bit his lip. That wasn't quite what he had said, but his real words sounded cheesy in Peter's head even though they had rung completely truthful when Mr. Stark had delivered them so nonchalantly. "Because I... because I protected what was most precious to him."

His eyes didn't leave her face, almost greedy for her reaction, but he had a hard time reading her.

"That's what he said?"

Peter nodded, her hand that still rested on his knee felt a little heavier now, but she left it at that. Didn't give him the chance of a glimpse into her relationship to Mr. Stark.

"Is that why you went to the Tower, to Tony, when... when you were hurt?"

Partially, but essentially he had. It was their deal that had brought him back to Stark Tower in his moment of need. Not just that, of course. The proximity was an important part as well. Mr. Stark's kindness. But he nodded along to her question anyway, no desire to go back into the details of what had happened in that fateful night.

"It's weird, right?" Peter huffed out a shallow laugh. "If they hadn't attacked you, who knows... who knows how things would have turned out. If you hadn't been in town for that presentation... it's just so random."

She blinked a couple of times, eyes not leaving his face. "I wasn't in town for that I—"

Her mouth slammed shut and her expression was suddenly a lot more guarded. It made Peter's heart jump. More secrets then, more lies. Of course. He was sick of this shit. All of them were determined to keep him in the dark about what was going on in his own damn life. None of them even bothered to pretend anymore. He was about to get up and put some distance between them when her knitted eyebrows smoothed out again, her eyes soft.

"I... I was in town because of you. Because... well, the date. That's, erm..." She swallowed hard. "February 25th. Your... your birthday. Well, because of you, but for Tony. He... he doesn't do so well on that day. Not on his own."

Peter gave his head a forceful shake. That was wrong. "But... no. No, my birthday is in August not—" His jaw dropped as realization washed over him. "I... oh... oh my god. I... "

Her hands found both of his, squeezing them tightly. "Darling, I'm sorry, I didn't... I'm sorry I should have known that you hadn't... hadn't realized."

"February 25th. That... that means—" It felt like someone was sitting on his chest. He couldn't breathe. His birthday... his real birthday wasn't Peter Parker's birthday at all. Of course it wasn't. He just hadn't thought that far ahead. Idiot. Hadn't taken the time yet to appreciate what all these revelations truly meant.

He wouldn't even pretend to fight that this was a fact. That his birthday, something he would have known to be a fact less than a week ago, simply wasn't. His eyes only widened when his brain jumped onto the next consequence from that. He must have looked positively pale for Miss Potts moved closer, one of her hands now holding him steady by his arm, worry so clearly radiating from her. But he couldn't help but press the matter, regardless of how much this would turn his life even more upside down.

"It's... it's not just the day, is it?" His eyes stung. His voice sounded panicked even to himself. "I'm... I'm not even 15. Oh... oh god, I—"

"It's alright, darling, just..." she blew out a shaky breath herself. "You're still you, okay? This doesn't change who you are. It's just a date, a number someone told you about."

Just a number. The little laugh that bubbled out of him almost bordered on hysterical and even though it felt like he was overreacting, even in that very moment, he just couldn't help it as his mind was turning those dates around and around, details popping up, that he had so far elected to ignore.

"2003. I... no, I—" He tried to physically recoil from the very idea but the weight of Miss Potts's hands-on him kept him in check.

"Just breathe. You're okay." She rubbed his arm and the low hum of her voice did make him feel a little better, even if it changed nothing about how messed up all this was.

"But... but I'm a Sophomore. I... I'm not a kid like that, I'm not—"

It explained some things though. It explained why all of his classmates had always been taller than him, why he hadn't fit in, though none of that had ever kept him from succeeding.

Miss Potts' hand squeezed his arms once more. "Tony went to MIT when he was 14. This doesn't change anything about you, darling. About what you can do."

"That's different." He shook his head. How could she even compare them like that? "Mr. Stark is... it's different for him. He was special. Is special and I... I'm just me."

"You're his son."

The way she said it. The confidence. No hesitation. Like she knew for sure, which... Well, there was a difference between knowing and believing. Maybe if he had some more time. Time to wrap his mind around it and time to talk to Mr. Stark about everything that had happened. Everything that he had found.

"Miss Potts, please I—"

"Pepper." She looked like it physically pained her when she had to correct him.

"Right." Peter's throat itched at the thought, but he was determined to try. "Pepper." It sounded way too informal rolling off his tongue just like that. "Please. Just... Can you just.. just... Please, just don't let him leave. Please." The corner of her mouth twitched like she was considering his request. Maybe... maybe he could convince her in the end. "Please. It's not fair."

She had said it didn't change anything about him, the age thing, but that wasn't true. It changed how Mr. Stark treated him for one. He hadn't really considered that before but it made perfect sense. He thought Peter couldn't handle this, that he was too young to deal with the things they'd been dealing with. That's what had changed ever since he found out. "He treats me like I'm broken, but I'm not. I'm fine! I..."

Her eyebrows were knitted closely together. "Are you?"

"Yes, I..." He tried to swallow the lump in his throat but his voice still sounded strained regardless. "I can be. I will be. I just... he doesn't need to... I'm still me. You just said that yourself. Please, I really can be."

She fell quiet for a long minute before her voice echoed along the balcony once more, calm and a little less collected than he had expected. "Maybe it's us. Maybe we're too broken, honey."

His mouth was still open to protest but the words died on his tongue at that look on her face. Deep lines of sorrow that made her look a lot older than any of those glossy pictures they would print of her in magazines and spread on social media would ever show.

"We will be back. I know we will be, I promise. Tony will... I know... I know this is a horrible thing to even ask of you, but he just needs a little time, a little time to process, but I'm sure—"

Peter shook himself out of his trance. "What if something happens?" He couldn't help himself, tired of that same talking point the Widow had tried on him.

"Nothing will happen. You're safe." She shook her head, denying the scenario.

"Well, what if it does? What am I supposed to do then? What if someone dies because I have to sit on my hands?"

"That's not on you. There are grown-ups who help with those things!" Two deep breaths and still her voice wasn't as steady as she'd likely had been aiming for. "And if someone were to threaten you, he'll come back. He'll make sure you're okay."

"He'll know because he keeps watching me." She didn't answer that and it was all the confirmation he needed. "So, he gets to monitor me, he'll know what I'm doing but I... I have no idea. I don't know if he's close by or what's happening to him? If he needs help. That's not fair!"

Her eyes weren't on him, but staring unseeingly at nothing in particular. Maybe he was getting through to her. Maybe she was starting to listen.

"I can help him." His voice was quieter than before, but he meant it. He knew he could and he knew that Mr. Stark would need it. "I can... I can do things to help him. I would have his back."

Just as he wondered if she was trying to make up another excuse for Mr. Stark, she shook herself out of her trance and all of a sudden her arms were wrapped around him. She pulled him close just like she had done that afternoon in Mr. Stark's lab.

"That's part of why he's doing this, isn't it? He knows you would and he doesn't want you to do just that." Her voice was so low, almost like she was talking more to herself than to him. "He loves you so much, darling."

Peter's arms had hung slack by his sides at first, but he couldn't help how her genuine affection melted away his resistance. Before he knew it he clung to her even if all of that didn't change that she was wrong. The lump in his throat was persistent and his voice sounded rough even to his own ears.

"He... he loves the idea of someone like me. The idea of his son reappearing, not... not me. It has nothing to do with me." It was a weird concept that he couldn't really do anything with. He knew that Mr. Stark worried about him, of course, but love. That was a big word.

She held him even closer at that, shaking her head. "You're wrong about that."

Peter wanted to argue at first, but there was awfully little left for him to say. Mr. Stark's actions spoke louder than words. He was leaving. That was the bottom line. Everything else was second to that. He would rather leave than stay close to him. Peter was so over all that safety talk, all the excuses. He rejected that narrative she was trying to construct because he knew better.

"I know what he said." He shook his head again, hands letting go off Miss Potts and just like that she leaned away from him as well and he felt a little colder because of it. "I know what he meant."

"You think you do." Her hands were in her lab now, intertwined with each other like she needed to keep herself from reaching for him. "And still, you're here, aren't you. You still came here tonight even though you tell yourself he doesn't care?"

"I... I just." Heat spread from his cheeks all the way to his ears. It was humiliating to have it pointed out as plainly as she did, his desperate attempt for attention. Like a little kid. "I didn't... It's not... it's just... Mr... Mr. Stark took my suit and... and I don't..."

He shot a glance over at her but she didn't even twitch. Didn't raise her eyebrows in surprise or anything. Just looked at him, studying his every move. "That's why you came here tonight? For your suit?"

He gave his head a quick shake. Of course that wasn't why he had come there but the real reason... well. The real reason was a bit more complicated. Finding words for that was more of a challenge.

"I... I can't—" His voice broke on him, heavy and low. One deep breath was not enough to pull himself together. He couldn't lose Mr. Stark. It was as simple as that. Heat must have been radiating off his face. It just sounded so melodramatic, even just the thought, and he didn't even mean it like that. Not really. It implied that Mr. Stark was somehow his to lose in the first place, which of course was... well. Not... not officially. More in-officially. He could never admit to that level of dependence on the man though. That would be sad... sad and pathetic. He'd only met him 6 months ago after all. Well, maybe things were a little more complicated than that. In the end, maybe it was about the suit, about Spider-Man. About his mentor, not all the other weird stuff. Peter couldn't just stay away and sit on his hands. He would still have to do something with his powers. Something to help. He would but...

Without Mr. Stark... Without Mr. Stark, he couldn't... Couldn't even imagine how to be Spider-Man anymore. How he would ever manage to do any of it. Not like he was supposed to. Allowed to. Mr. Stark desperately wanted him to stop, but it was like asking him to stop being himself. Like he was supposed to suffocate a part of himself. The thought made him sick.

"It's a part of me," he whispered, eyes still low. "I can't... I can't not and I... I don't want to stop being that I..." He swallowed hard. Deep down, it was about more than just losing a part of himself. "Last time he went off on his own when I could have helped, Siberia happened and I... I don't know how I'm supposed to live with myself if something were to happen." His thumb slowly rubbed over the light shadows on his wrists, the last reminder of the wounds that the cuffs had cut into his hand. His healing factor had taken care of those in just a couple of days. "He's just human and now that they're back, who knows... who knows what they'll do to him."

Her hand covered his, kept him from rubbing at the skin on his wrist. "You're human, too, darling. A boy, you—" She stopped herself abruptly and frowned. "Wait, who's back?"

Peter pursed his lips, making a bit of an effort to keep his lingering resentfulness in check. "The Rogues. Rogers. The Widow. Them."

Miss Potts' eyebrows knitted even closer together. "What are you talking about?"

Peter couldn't help but actually snort and looked away from her. Some of the Widow's deductions were true then, not that he was all too surprised by it. "He really didn't tell you, did he? Of course he didn't. I only found out because I accidentally hacked into his secret server."

She actually gasped at that. "You did what?"

He flinched and send her an apologetic smirk. "I swear it was an accident. I was just trying to disable the tracker on my suit."

She exhaled deeply. "That DNA test really is a bit redundant."

Peter looked down at his hand that still lay securely in hers. He didn't want to think about that. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to know more about how similar they were so he dropped the piece of knowledge that was sure to stir the conversation away from him and his pedigree.

"It was Rogers." He looked up at her, but only found her face drawn with confusion, still not following. "Siberia," he added. "Him and Barnes. There's a video on Mr. Stark's server. A recording of everything up until the arc on his suit was destroyed."

"Wh—what? Steve?"

Her eyes were wide, her face had gone completely slack. Peter just bit his lip and then nodded. Those pictures were burned into his mind. He couldn't help but flinch as a cold shiver went down his spine at the memory of those scenes. Rogers' betrayal. Just for a moment, he contemplated telling her about that secret as well, but he couldn't. It was a step too far. That was Mr. Stark's story to tell. "The last thing you see is Rogers' shield crashing into his helmet and then going for the arc."

Her grip on his hand had tightened, was almost painful.

"Does... does Tony know that you've seen this?" She sounded almost out of breath.

"Yeah." He gave a light shrug. "One of the reasons why he took the suit away."

"This... This is why you went to confront Steve."

He couldn't help the deep flush of hot redness creeping into his face. Peter bit his lip, then nodded. He'd do it again. Even now. If Rogers ever dared to threaten Mr. Stark again, Peter wouldn't hesitate. Not after how Rogers had left him behind. Not when he could still see Mr. Stark in that hospital bed, bruised and cut up, kept alive by machines. Those memories would never fade.

"Oh, honey..." She reached for his hand, held it tightly. "He's alright. It's okay."

He didn't know where that intuition came from, how she so precisely guessed what he was thinking, what was weighing on his soul. Maybe his face just did give it away. Mr. Stark had always said his face was transparent.

"He was so mad." Peter whispered, eyes not meeting hers. "He was so mad when he found out I knew."

"He's not now. I promise you, he isn't. He's only worried about you, scared you'll get hurt. Again."

They were going round and round in circles and Peter wasn't sure if he could handle another batch of excuses.

"I... What am I supposed to do now? I... I can't tell May, can I? How would I even and Mr. Stark said not to tell anyone and I... I don't know what to do."

"Okay." She nodded, thinking. "Alright. Here is what we'll do. FRIDAY, my number needs to be in Peter's phone. My personal number. If he calls, you'll put him through no matter what."

"Yes, ma'am."

Her teeth pulled at her lip and she gave a short nod before both her hands cupped his face. "You can call. You can text. I don't care what time it is, if you are in trouble or just want to talk or just want to vent. I don't care, I'm here."

Peter swallowed hard, struggling to keep his chin from trembling with emotion. "But... but Mr. Stark will find out. He... he'll be so mad, I—"

"I'll deal with Tony. You don't even have to worry about that."

"But..." His eyes stung. He'd already broken the rules by showing up at the Tower. Continuing to defy the man's wishes, would probably only get him into more trouble and as much as Peter hadn't cared when he had been climbing up the exterior wall of the Tower, he was still scared now. Scared, what else Mr. Stark would do to push his bogus plan through.

"It doesn't matter what Tony thinks of this, you'll never be alone with any of it, darling. You'll always have me in your corner and I have a jet I can send to come and get you that flies from LA to New York in just over 3 hours."

Her thumbs brushed away his tears before they could even trail down to his cheeks. "Isn't that Mr. Stark's company's jet?"

She didn't even flinch. "Last time I checked, I was still CEO."

Peter couldn't keep the nervous laugh down that bubbled out of his mouth. "What if he fires you?"

Her eyes were straight on him, unblinking. "I'd do it all the same."

She sounded sincere and with everything he had come to know about her, with just how she had treated him those last two days, he kind of believed her. "Thank you, Miss Potts." He had said it before he could catch himself and there was a flash of sadness in her features. "I... I'm sorry, I... I mean... Thank you... Thank you—"

Her thumbs both drew a small circle on his cheeks and with a soft squeeze, she let go of him. "It's alright, darling. You're okay." The smile on her lips was a little sad. "Don't worry about it."

It made him feel stupid and awkward when he wanted nothing more than to be cool with her warmness, her familiarity. "I... I should probably go. Get... get back home."

Her head tilted, she gave a small nod. "Yeah. Yeah, of course."

They sat there for another minute, quietly, and Peter didn't even get up until Miss Potts slowly rose up from the rattan sofa they were still sharing.

"Right," he whispered. Three long steps and he was at the balustrade, careful not to look back so he wouldn't lose his nerve.

"Wait! Don't!" She was right behind him, both hands on his arm pulling him back from the edge of the building. "There's... there's a car downstairs. Don't... I can't—"

He shot a look at her over his shoulder, her hands still firm on his arm. "It's fine. I... I've done this before. I'm not like... gonna fall or anything."

Her eyes were wide, almost panicked. "Please, just... It's dark and I... please, just take the car."

His gaze turned to the penthouse behind her instead, the living room windows still only dimly lit.

"Please, Peter. He's... Tony's asleep. It's... please."

Peter swallowed hard but nodded. "Yeah... yeah, okay."

She led the way and he followed close behind her in a bizarre game of pretend like those rooms were foreign to him, like he hadn't walked on those tiles so many times before, hadn't taken that elevator down to the parking deck on his way home for months on end. Every second it took for them to get from the balcony door to the elevator car, he was prepared for his mentor to just pop up out of the shadows. But that never happened. The apartment was quiet, the lights were down. She was just as quiet next to him and Peter wondered how much Mr. Stark had really told her, if she knew how familiar he was with the Tower and if she maybe just ignored all that so it wouldn't be so weird that she rode that elevator down to the lowest level with him.

The doors opened onto the parking deck and it was as empty as always save for Mr. Stark's personal car ready to be used whenever it was required. Peter's fingers picked at each other. He wasn't quite sure what to do now. How to say goodbye. Pepper Potts hesitated just the same if only for a moment. Then she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him. Peter closed his eyes leaning into her hug. He had a sudden urge to cry not knowing when he would see her again. Either one of them.

"You call, I don't care if you run out of lunch money or if you need a lawyer, okay? I want you to call me and I'll do everything I can to help."

He nodded into her shoulder, his arms tightly wrapped around her, but couldn't bring himself to say anything.

"I'll miss you, darling. I'll see you so very soon. I promise."

His tongue too heavy to speak, he just nodded again and he might have opted to just stay there until things magically turned out okay but she slowly unwrapped herself from him. Just so he couldn't change his mind, he quickly walked over to the waiting car. As it made its way out of the parking garage, Peter did turn around at last, the bright light from the elevator car still shining into the dark park deck. Pepper Potts still rooted to the ground, arms tightly slung around herself, watching as the car took him back to Queens.

###

[I have actually tried to shorten this chapter and maybe a beta or an editor would have made me cut it down, but since I have neither I get to keep all the things I like in here no matter that it made for a monster long chapter ;)

I'll still ridiculously busy with my new place guys, but as always I'm hoping to be a little quicker with the next few updates ;)

Thank you guys so much for the kudos and comments! Really appreciated it!]