I'm back! I didn't update last week because this chapter was so difficult to write, and I decided to rewrite it halfway through lol. Things are heating up now; Arthur having to use his head might be the biggest plot twist so far. I was a bit nervous about posting this so let me know what you think!

Merlin and Arthur sat across from each other in complete silence. They'd been at odds for months, but Merlin wondered if they'd ever been this awkward, even then. As soon as Arthur had felt awake and full enough to function, he'd beckoned Merlin over to sit across from him at his desk and announced that they needed to talk with the most uncomfortable look on his face, before falling silent.

A full minute later, Merlin was starting to sweat nervously. He realised Arthur was probably still rather sensitive about everything that happened with Gwen, but he wasn't certain if he should push him to speak. Would it be better to give him time? But then again, he knew Arthur would never talk about his feelings if given the choice.

Mind made up, he cleared his throat and spoke. "It's alright if you're upset, you know. Or if you want to talk about it."

"Uh. What?" Arthur asked, looking lost.

This was painfully awkward, but Merlin was determined to let his friend know he was there for him. "I just mean that there's no shame in feeling hurt by everything that's happened with Gwen. I won't think any less of you for it, so- there's no need to act all tough and stoic in front of me. I'm here, if you want to talk about it." There, that was nice and coherent, wasn't it?

But Arthur was looking at him with something between embarrassment and horror. "That is not what I wanted to speak to you about! How do you even kno-" He cut himself off, while Merlin was still coming to terms with how badly he'd misjudged the situation. "Never mind, don't answer that. What happened between G-Guinevere and I is private, and I have no interest in speaking of it with you or anyone else. Ever."

It was entirely as he'd expected, even though he still wished Arthur would open up about his feelings, as Gwen had. He'd caught his stutter over her name, and the pain in his eyes as he spoke, but he knew his friend well enough to realise he wouldn't react well to being pushed. "Alright, but the offer stands, if you ever change your mind." Arthur's expression clearly said that would never happen and that he wished they were talking about literally anything else. Merlin took pity on him and changed the subject. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

Arthur latched onto the question all too eagerly. "Ah, yes. I didn't want to have this conversation again, but I'm afraid it's necessary, and running away from my problems isn't going to solve them."

Merlin tried to ignore the rising feeling of foreboding. "Right…" he said slowly. "Which problems are we talking about, again?"

"It's Emrys. Who else?" Arthur sighed. At least Merlin knew he wasn't the only one who was thoroughly sick of bloody Emrys. "We put the conversation on hold so that we could focus on the more important aspects, such as freeing the people in the dungeons and putting an end to the searches. Now that I've delegated these tasks to my knights and they're all well underway, however, we have time to consider how to deal with this sorcerer."

For a moment, Merlin truly wished he could strangle Aithne for mentioning Emrys in the first place, but his irritation soon faded, only to be replaced by guilt. None of this was Aithne's fault, and she'd suffered enough because of him. He hoped she was well now, safe once more with her people.

There was one thing he needed to be sure of, though. "When you say deal with, do you mean…?" Merlin trailed off, unsure how to politely say kidnap and publically murder.

It seemed, however, that Arthur was set on surprising him today. "That's part of what we're discussing," he admitted with a curled lip. "You made it clear that you don't believe this sorcerer should be punished, despite the fact that he's, you know. A sorcerer."

Merlin scowled at his least favourite friend and replied in the most scathing tone he could manage, "And? He didn't hurt anyone! Is it a crime now just to have magic?"

Arthur blinked. "Yes, actually."

Hmm. That was a good point. "Well," Merlin said angrily. "Well, that's stupid!"

"Merlin-"

"What makes you think you have the right to kill people just for the way they were born?"

"They're not born with magic, Merlin," Arthur refuted in that confident, obnoxious tone of his. "They learn it and use it to hurt others, just for power. Surely you don't think anyone can just be born that way- born evil?"

He was so stupid.

"Yes, exactly! No one is born evil, and no one should be punished for something they can't help!" Merlin took a calming breath. "Some people are born with magic. Don't argue," he said sharply when it looked like Arthur would object. "I know more about this than you do. Many of the books about magic that aren't available to others, Gaius and I are allowed to read as physicians. People can be born with magic- your sister was."

Arthur looked like he didn't know what to do with that information. "Wh- But- I've never heard of this before. Gaius never said anything about this."

"Oh, because Uther would have listened?" Merlin asked sarcastically. "He must have known, anyway. He lived before the Purge, and he's the one who banned all of these books so no one else would know he's been killing innocents."

"Innocents? But you've seen how terrible sorcery is. You've seen how devious and cruel sorcerers are," Arthur said almost pleadingly. "How would we know that they haven't hurt anyone? And who's to say that they won't in the future, even if they haven't already? Morgana lived right here with us for years before her treachery was revealed."

"Before it was revealed to you," Merlin sniffed disdainfully. "Some of us knew from the beginning because some of us aren't wilfully blind." He hadn't meant to say that, but it was too late to take it back even if he wanted to. Arthur looked desperate to ask about it, but he couldn't seem to get his mouth to function. Merlin continued, "It always comes back to Morgana with you. It's beginning to feel more like a personal vendetta to me, even if you're doing it subconsciously. Your sister betrayed you, so you're taking it out on everyone else."

If Merlin weren't always so offensive, he thought Arthur would have looked more shocked at that. "It's not just Morgana," he argued. "Or have you forgotten Morgause, Edwin, Nimueh, Dragoon, and every other sorcerer we've ever come across?"

"Every other sorcerer, really?" Merlin replied coldly. "Perhaps you've forgotten Balinor? Or the druids who saved Sir Leon's life? That unknown sorcerer who sent you a light in the cave in the forest of Balor? Will, who gave his life to save yours?"

Arthur was silent. He had nothing to say to that.

"I can assure you that he never hurt anyone, that he was never cruel or devious!" Merlin cried. He hated himself- for lying, for using Will like this, for letting his best friend die in the first place- but he needed Arthur to see. "You never fail to condemn magic whenever a sorcerer hurts you, but when magic is used for good, you seem strangely willing to pretend it never happened. Are you so afraid that the beliefs you've held your whole life will turn out to be wrong that you refuse to think?"

He'd never spoken to Arthur that way. The pain and resentment he'd harboured all these years spilled out of his mouth as he watched his friend grow paler and paler. He didn't how long the deafening silence that followed lasted; it could have been minutes, but it felt like years passed before Arthur spoke again.

"How do you know that Morgana was born with magic?" was all he said, in a small voice that Merlin had never heard him use before.

Merlin looked down into his lap. He'd known it would come up, but he'd never wanted to speak of that time again. After a short pause, he replied, "Her dreams- they were visions. Everything that she dreamed would happen eventually came to pass. She didn't realise it was magic until- until she started that fire in her room."

He heard Arthur's sharp intake of breath, but he did not look up at him. "I remember. That was her? Why would she start a fire in her own room?"

"It wasn't on purpose, you prat," Merlin muttered. "People like her- those who are born with magic- have no choice about using it. If they try to avoid it, it will simply come out in uncontrollable bursts instead. It could kill them, eventually, if they continue to hold it in." Not to mention how painful it was to stop using magic altogether, but he couldn't think of a way to say that without explaining how he knew that detail.

"Oh," was Arthur's eloquent response.

"Funny, isn't it? Die if you use magic, die if you don't. Either way, they'll die." Merlin tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice. "And you wonder why some sorcerers are driven to madness."

There was no response. He looked up to see Arthur with an unusually thoughtful expression, although he was still pale with shock. It wasn't easy, Merlin supposed, to have your beliefs- your entire way of life- so rapidly dismantled. He should have felt sorry for his friend, but he did not feel particularly generous just then. He just felt tired.

"Thank you," Arthur said at last, "for telling me. I don't know what I'm going to do but- I'm glad you've told me all of this."

"Are you going to listen?"

"I said I would, didn't I? I can't guarantee that I will agree with you, but I promised I would at least listen to what you have to say." Arthur tried for a smile, but it looked more like a grimace. "You've given me a lot to think about. But I still need to find some things out for myself."

Merlin figured he probably wanted to ask Gaius to confirm what he'd said about magic. It was probably for the best; Gaius could explain things so much better than him, and he knew far more about Morgana's visions as well.

"Very well," Merlin replied. "Just as long as you do think about it. You were the one who said avoiding your problems won't make them go away."

"Yes, yes, I will," Arthur huffed. "I wish I could make you go away. Don't you have some work you need to be doing?"

Some things never changed, and Arthur's lack of manners was a universal constant at this point.

As Merlin set to work and watched Arthur leave for the training grounds, he wondered if it would do any good. It seemed like a wild fantasy, that Arthur would listen or change his mind about magic. All Merlin could do was wait, and pray that his words had gotten through to him.