Ow ow ow. Ow. Ooh. Awkward. Ow.

Today's, um, smack-down session had been much shorter than yesterday. I had died too quickly, although that sounded ridiculous even in my own head. I had blacked out, before Thanos could make some threatening noises that barely pierced through the shroud of pain.

I was guessing Evil Rogers's goal hadn't been to torture me, but to just kill me, which explained why today had been different from yesterday. The Alien had drawn out the pain. Rogers hadn't.

Dying had felt...liberating, even if it was only for a few seconds. I wasn't sure whether real dying also felt like that, but the cool darkness snatching away my conscious had been better than all the stupid aches plaguing my body.

Still, I had broken Cap's hand. By being a punching bag. It made me feel better in some weird way. I hadn't been helpless. I had fought back, even when I knew I had no chance against a brain-washed super-soldier.

I remembered dying. Then un-dying. Then drifting around in some body-less peaceful state.

And then, waking up.

"Ow." I said out loud. My throat was parched, so dry that it hurt. Strangulation would do that to a person. My thoughts felts jilted, cut off, like I didn't have the mental capability to think full sentences.

I waited for my eyes to adjust to the dark, and gritted my teeth, dragging up my body. I leaned back against the wall, peered into the dark at Rogers. He had his eyes closed, slumped. I couldn't tell if he was awake or not.

I closed my eyes as well, drifting back into the darkness, and when I opened them after a while, he was looking at me.

"Hey," I said, because I had nothing to say. "How are you?" I added, because I had nothing to add.

Wow. I felt like a bloody idiot.

He didn't answer, and I nudged my head at the plate of food anxiously. "We should probably eat, before they give us bathroom breaks." I tugged at my shirt, wishing I was anywhere but here.

Rogers was silent, and I rolled my eyes. "Can you hand me the bread?" I asked, hoping to get some reaction out of him, and he shifted his gaze to the bread and moved, sliding the plate right in front of me. I withheld a flinch, when he got close. I had no idea why I had been about to flinch-

Oh. Right. Torture thing.

Well. That was not helpful.

"We should talk," I said, semi-resigned.

He turned his head. "We don't have to."

"We should."

"What do you want me to say?" Sass. That was surprisingly a good sign.

I shrugged. "How about, you're amazing and I'm an idiot?" He stared at me. I rolled my eyes again, this time with more vigor. "Fine, let's go with I'm not traumatized by something I had no control over."

There was a brief heavy pause.

"I killed you. I-"

"No, Thanos made you do it. There's like, a lot of difference."

"I killed you," Rogers repeated. "My hands carried it out. My hands, strangled you."

I winced. "I would much prefer if you didn't think of me as a corpse, because there's so much of my personality that has nothing to do with being dead." I raised my hand. "See? Alive."

"I remember you dying," Rogers said quietly. "And I remember being horrified, and I remember-I remember that I could've stopped it."

I tried hard not to roll my eyes, because this was serious and I understood some part of what he was saying, but I just didn't get the superheroes' guilt complexes. Like, dude. Of course you couldn't have stopped it. Thanos had a bloody Infinity Stone.

"You couldn't have, dude." I frowned. "I broke your hand. Am I supposed to feel guilty for that too?"

"Of course not," He snapped, like I was ridiculous, and I smiled smugly.

"See? No reason to beat yourself up."

"It's different."

"It's really not."

His eyes were dark. I could tell this place was not any good for either of us. I let out a huff, and leaned my head back against the wall. "You were not as strong as I would have expected," I told him lightly. "I had a chance. If we do this again, I'm pretty sure I can win."

"We're not doing this again," He said, anger flashing in his eyes. "It's not a joke. I-," He breathed out sharply. "We're not doing this again," He repeated slowly, voice shaky.

"I wasn't saying this is a joke," I said, feeling exasperated. "I'm just trying to make best of the situation. I mean, it's like I'm the one that was killed, you know. Why am I comforting you?" I felt bad, instantly, the pained look in his eyes making me feel like an asshole.

"I'm sorry," He said. "I'm-"

There was a clang. Our heads shot up, to my neck's complain, but then there was another clang-metal hitting the stone ground-, and the pain was forgotten.

I tried to stand up, and again, my body-my neck and all the way down to my ankle-, complained. I lost balance, my muscles feeling incredibly stiff, and Rogers grabbed me, and I clamped down on my jaw to not recoil violently. Fuck.

My brain, at least the rational part of me, understood he wasn't a threat. But my body hadn't gotten the message, and there was a voice screaming in my head, an instinct that wanted to get his hands off me immediately. It didn't help that when I looked at his face, I was all of a sudden back in that dark waters, feeling like I was about to drown, his eyes boring into me-A strike across my ribs, and I doubled over, and he jerked my head back, glaring, glaring, glar-

I held my breath, and tried not to show that I was a moment away from freaking out.

Rogers shot me a disapproving look, oblivious, and I breathed out and shrugged his hand off unapologetically.

But I forgot all about the guy behind me, when I took in what, or more exactly, who was passing by our cell. The blue alien. Karen Gillian, from Doctor Who. Nebula.

Right. She had been kidnapped too. My pulse sped up to impossible heights, when I realized what this meant. She could rescue us! We could escape.

"Nebula!" My voice cracked, and I cleared my throat. "Um-hey!"

Her steps hitched, when she heard her name. She turned around slowly, eyes piercing into my form.

"What." She snapped, voice quiet.

"Um, please help us escape?"

Her head tilted, and in the soft silence I could hear the literal gears in her neck turning. "Why should I?"

"We know Gamora. Well," My voice also grew quiet. "We knew her."

"What do you mean?" She asked in a sentence that sounded more like a statement than a question, her tone threateningly low. She walked closer to us, and I glanced at Rogers anxiously. His face was unreadable.

"Thanos killed her."

She went completely still.

"We were trying to defeat him, but then he...he was too powerful. Gamora died, and he took us."

"No," she murmured. "No, no. My sister is not dead."

I pursed my lips. "I can show you what happened, if you let us out. We can take you to the Guardians."

I was pretty sure everyone could hear my heart pumping, in the silence that followed. Damn. Everything hung on Nebula. I was never as nervous as I was that moment.

Then Nebula headed back the way she had came, and for a moment my heart plummeted down to the ground, but then she knelt down beside the two aliens she had taken out, and rooted their pockets for the key. My heart jumped back in my chest.

I pumped my fist discreetly. I turned to Rogers. "We're getting out of here," I whispered cheerfully.

"We're not out yet," He answered carefully, but I shrugged happily because this was the best news we had gotten in the last few days.

Nebula unlocked the cell door, and I walked out coolly, or at least in my mind I did, and Rogers was not glaring at me the entire time I did.

Pretending to be awesome was so hard.

I gave up, after a while. Well, a while in my head translated to three seconds in the world. I casually leaned back against the bars, my legs trembling. Nebula scowled at me, but I could tell her mind was somewhere else, her eyes incredibly black.

"I can show you my memories." I offered, half-hoping I could. I only knew how to do it, from Loki's teachings, but I had never tried. I knew I had to be careful, in order to not accidentally spoil the existence of the world to Nebula.

She nodded. I focused, and reached out a hand, resting it gently across her forehead.

And suddenly, I was back at the Knowhere.

I guided Nebula's conscious into the memory, acknowledging her presence as the Past Me rushed to Thanos in a futile attempt to overpower him. The memories flashed in front of our eyes, and I focused on not letting any of my current thoughts slipping into her mind.

I felt her stiffen when Gamora went down, and before I knew it I slumped back against the wall, exhausted and tired and ready to fall asleep any moment now.

Nebula looked at me, with easily hidden sorrow and anger in her eyes. She opened her mouth, as if to say something, then closed it.

"The escape pod is that way," And she strode down the hallway.

"Fuck," I muttered. There was no way I could keep her with her, not while I was this out of energy physically and mentally. "Fuck." I sighed, turning to Rogers who held up an eyebrow expectantly. "You're not carrying me," I told him.

"Okay."

"I can walk." I really couldn't.

"Okay."

I gritted my teeth. He probably thought I was appalled because I despised depending on someone else. And yes, while that did take up a part of this overwhelming dislike I felt in the situation, it was mostly how I felt like he was going to choke me again-His hands pushing me under the water, and I knocked my shattered ankle against the ground and I screamed, the liquid filling up my throat and-

It was irrational. It was irrational. I repeated the mantra in my mind, as I opened my mouth.

"...Can I lean on you?"

His eyebrows wrinkled with what seemed suspiciously like amusement. Stupid oblivious Rogers. "Okay."

The way to the pod was surprisingly empty, Nebula swiftly taking out anyone that stumbled across our path. I just focused on not falling over or falling unconscious and put one foot in front of the other, and just when we entered the ship, the alarms began blaring.

Nebula took the pilot's seat, and before Rogers and I even sat down, we were hurtling out of Thanos's ship with impossible speed.

"Titan," I told Nebula. "We have to go to Titan."

"I know."

She replied. And as the ship set course, and I finally relaxed into the chair. My mind was screaming yay and fuck at the same time, but there was also something itching at my mind, something at the back of my brain that was begging for my attention.

I'm sorry.

Strange. I sat up instantly, eyes widening.

He had known what would happen to me. What would happen to us-a knee rammed into my stomach in quick succession, but I could barely feel my ribs breaking as the black liquid burned inside me, my eyes squeezed shu-.

I couldn't help it; it hurt. I would think that stopping my protege from getting tortured would be a priority in anyone's mind, not just mine. He had let it happen. He had-

He had seen the future. And if this meant what I thought it did, I had to have been tortured to save the world.

My mind spun.

So what was I supposed to do, now? If future was set in stone, did that mean that any random action I took was the path to stopping Thanos? Was the future set in stone? Could I disrupt it, with anything I did?

Fucking Strange. I was so confused.

But at least we weren't captured anymore. At least-I glanced at Rogers-we were safe.

Ugh. That dude was like a puppy you were afraid to leave at home because it would worry so much about your life. The puppy that was super-competent, but always tried to jump outside the window to save someone else's ass. The puppy-

This metaphor was failing so bad I couldn't even keep it going in my own head.

I clammed a hand over my mouth to stop from laughing. I felt insanely weird. And happy. And scared.

I liked Rogers a lot. Nobody could dislike Captain America. But even so, he was so nice, in a way that I would not have liked unless he had a dark side, and he did. He had a hot dark side-He dragged me above, and I sputtered the water out of my lungs as he climbed on top of me, hands wrapping easily around my thro-. I liked the layers. I liked his complicated over-sacrificing psyche. I didn't like how he treated me like something fragile, but I liked that he was soft and round. Loki was not soft and round. He was all edges.

God, I missed everyone. It had only been like three days, but the hours had felt infinite.

I didn't even know if they were all alive. The last memories of everyone was fuzzy, and shrouded in a wrap of adrenaline and fear that made it hard to think back on. I even missed Strange, that utilitarian asshole. I wished I could go back to the weeks I had spent with Wanda and Tony and Strange, no problems in my mind.

But now Heimdall was gone, Gamora was dead, and I had a choke-full of problems.

Rogers blinked and I realized I had been staring at him creepily, and turned away, crossing my arms. "You okay?"

"Yes," he answered hesitantly.

"We're cool, right?" I asked, hopefully. "You're not mad?"

He looked at me. "I'm angry at a lot of people, but none of them are you."

"Um. Okay." I tilted my head. "I was hoping for a less intense answer, but you do you." I bit the inside of my cheek. "Also, when we're telling them what happened, I'm talking. Not you. Okay?"

"Why?"

"Because everything I say is a miracle," I joked, smiling faintly.

He did not smile. "You do that a lot."

"Do what?"

"Dilute serious conversations with self-deprecating humor."

"I do not know what that word means," I replied, and my face fell because he was giving me a pointed look and I realized I had done it again. "Shut up," I muttered.

"I didn't say anything."

"Your eyes say plenty."

"So." He crossed his arms. "Why?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I denied, looking far away into space. "Oh, look. Stars! How fascinating!"

"Regis," He started, and I searched desperately for a subject that would snatch his mind away. I came up with nothing. "You can't avoid everything."

"I can," I retorted. "I avoid getting hit by cars and going to gym. Oh, I also avoid having no sarcastic come-back to anyone who forces me into an awkward position." I felt particularly proud about that last sentence. "You're stupid." About that sentence, less so.

"You're lashing out." He remarked.

"Uh, yeah I am."

"What's so important about telling everyone what happened yourself? Why-"

"Because I'm not going to tell them what happened, you idiot!" I exploded, and he recoiled, and I rolled my eyes. "Like, what would I even say? Oh, by the way, remember when Thanos kidnapped me and Cap for a while? I got tortured! But you know, no biggie."

"Regis-"

"Oh, and then Thanos turned Cap evil, and he killed me, and now I have to focus on not freaking out each time he comes near me. How interesting, right? What happened to you guys? Oh, it's nowhere near my level? Well, that's fucking sad." I spat, and turned away, not nearly ready to deal with whatever face he was making right now.

I was grateful Nebula ignored us. I was pretty sure she heard my outburst. If she was human, she would be like you have issues, man. And yes, I was starting to realize I did have some issues.

But you know, who dealt with their issues in superhero movies? Nobody, that's who.

So I sat there silently, he sat there silently, and the ship flew silently, and I, stupidly, got a Halsey song stuck in my head.

And we both hope there's something
But we both keep fronting
And it's a closed discussion
And I'm thinking

Damn, if these walls could talk

Well they'd be like

Shit is crazy right?

A/N: 개학정말지루하더라도대체왜한거야 온라인이 낫는듯..ㅋ 나 요즘 한니발에 꽃혔어 잔인한 거 좋아하면 꼭 보삼 정말 후회안해 진짜 사랑해 하니발 렉터&윌 그래햄! 결혼해 둘이!

어쨋든 이 스토리는 진짜 파국이다...ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ미치겠어 난 미쳤어 진짜 아흑 왜 이러는 거지 끆 정말 흑역사가 될것같다...제발 날 협박하지 마 이것 갖고 협박하면 내가 내 모든 것을 바칠걸ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ마이 베이빜ㅋㅋ마이 쪽팔리고 당황스럽고 그지같은 베이비...

너는 영재고 준비하고 있겠군 열심히 하렴 나는 열심히 이 쓸데없는 팬픽을 쓸테닠ㅋㅋㅋㅋ정말 자괴감든닼

어쨌든 아엠 어썸. 유 캔비 어썸. 저스트 트라이 어 빗 하더. 라이크 미.

Upper-mentioned song is Halsey's Walls Could Talk.